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#2

Amy's Winehouse

Final score:

213points

POST

Al Cook 3 years ago (edited)

I actually really like that sculpture, it's just not right for THAT particular building.

111points

Nicholas Reece, deputy lord mayor of Melbourne, thinks the city is actually Australia's most interesting settlement for architecture and design.

"Beginning with the good bones provided by the Hoddle Grid, Melbourne has added some amazing buildings over the decades," Reece wrote. "The city has also produced some brilliant home-grown local architects and has a distinctive design culture, without the overreliance on international 'starchitects' like Sydney."

#3

Perfectly Pitched For A Neighbourhood Near You

Final score:

197points

POST

Michelle M 3 years ago

Architect: How do you want your house? Person: Loud!!!

83points

#4

They Forgot The Plaster Lions

Final score:

173points

POST

Jayne Kyra 3 years ago

When you use the Sims 4 Mansion Baron "Purchase 20 Columns" aspiration in real life.

52points

#5

When A Friend Doesn't Invite You To Their House And You're Really Quite Relieved About It Actually

Final score:

171points

POST

Otter 3 years ago

Topiary head is afraid of the Luna Park head.

22points

However, the deputy lord mayor thinks that Melbourne may have lost its touch in recent years. "[We have] too many towers that are nothing more than spreadsheets in the sky, delivering a profit for developers but leaving the city poorer because of bad design and low-quality materials."

"Too many buildings that are low-grade and bland when newly complete and destined to deteriorate into eyesores over time," Reece continued. "Tall towers that set out to be seen from afar but offer nothing to the pedestrians walking the streets of the city. Featureless glass boxes that could be in any city in the world, rather than a city with the character, style, and sophistication of Melbourne."

#6

How's Everyone's Week Been? Chaotic? Jumbled? Overly Complicated? Yep. Me Too

Final score:

159points

POST

Otter 3 years ago

How can anyone relax in or around that place?

43points

#7

Proudness Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I'm Feeling After Receiving This Piece Of Moderne Arte Collage In My Inbox

Final score:

158points

POST

Laly Lynch 3 years ago

The princess is in another 'castle'...

39points

#8

Hang On. Wait... What?! Your Therapist And Your Massive Inflatable Santa Supplier Are The Same Person?!

Final score:

154points

POST

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

This is awful

54points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

Oh for the want of a BB Gun!

1point

Linda HS 3 years ago

I am sorry, but it looks like Santa vomited all over this house….

6points

Otter 3 years ago

PLEASE tell they don't leave these tasteless horrors out all year!

6points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

Even for a month it's too much

4points

Hannah Edwards 3 years ago

Festive as f**k

5points

Id row 3 years ago

Are they trying to win Christmas?

3points

Panda-riffic 3 years ago

They really truly want to wish you a merry Christmas!

3points

Lunar Bicycle 3 years ago

Do you know how loud it must be around that house, to run all the fans to inflate those stupid things?!

2points

Shawty 3 years ago

Mom...I'm scared 😨

2points

Diemond Star 3 years ago

Me roo

0points

Deborah B 3 years ago

Someone loves Christmas, and hates their neighbours. I absolutely bet that someone complained about their initially reasonable decorations, and now it is war between them.

2points

Shelby P 3 years ago

This would win awards in the US

2points

Terry Tobias 3 years ago

Not in my neighborhood!

0points

Amazon QT 3 years ago

WE FOUND THE XMAS INFLATABLE LAWN ORNAMENT ENTHUSIAST COLLECTOR!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

1point

Yup 3 years ago

Hilarious!

1point

Tee Witt 3 years ago

Christmas decorations are great, it is not the house is it?

1point

Douglas Mock 3 years ago

A good lightning strike might take out most of this horror.

1point

Anke Dieken 3 years ago

At least it's temporary... hopefully.

0points

Just Nanci 3 years ago

To each his own. If the family likes it, I think it is fine... unless they plan on keeping it up all year.

0points

Riley Quinn 3 years ago

WTF is this? A private residence or a (semi) professional building?

0points

Mishte Tine 3 years ago

Nothing wrong with the house, but the owners…? Um…

0points

Ginny Swart 3 years ago

Id hate to see what they do at Easter! Man eating rabbits?

0points

Redfox 3 years ago

Pretty sure I have driven past this place but not at Christmas, if I did I would have had needed therapy.

0points

Peilin Li 3 years ago

why...

0points

deanna woods 3 years ago

Does Al Harrington live nearby?

0points

Erjenn Rejano 3 years ago

This is overkill ugh

0points

Johnny Pierce 3 years ago

More is more.

0points

Oogiebogieaugiedaddy 3 years ago

Not!!!!!!

0points

Thomas Sweda 3 years ago

Especially on Easter Sunday!

0points

Tonya Wallace 3 years ago

Happy Halloween!!!

0points

BleeBloo 3 years ago

did you realize that Santa spelled backwards is atnas?

0points

October 3 years ago

Great caption

0points

Incitatus 3 years ago

NOW it's my turn to ask... is it odd that I like this?

0points

13 3 years ago

Yes. 😝

0points

Night Owl 3 years ago

The house exploded with Christmas decoration

0points

Noel Bovae 3 years ago

Must've found a massive after Christmas sale, and just bought out the entire store. 75-90% off stickers are my weakness!

0points

Laura Jones 3 years ago

they are certainly celebrating the festive season

0points

He said the city started noticing its flaws and began drawing a line, saying it must do better. "BHP House on William Street and ICI House in East Melbourne are both over 50 years old. Yet they both still look elegant and modern. They are great examples of how good design holds up and continues to shine over time."

"Melbourne has long been famous for its beautiful shop fronts, especially along Collins and Bourke streets. We need to extend that experience to other quarters of the city," Reece explained.

#9

If Large Cars = Small-Membered Owners, What On Earth Does This Symbolise?

Final score:

149points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

Fair Dinkum "please walk around to reach front door you d!ckhead"?

44points

#10

Picasso's Lovechild

Final score:

148points

POST

Samantha Lomb 3 years ago

There are so few windows. Must be so dark inside if the back isn't all glass

57points

#11

Barbie's Dream House

Final score:

135points

POST

Samantha Lomb 3 years ago

this is cute. not the biggest pink fan but it works with the mid century vibe

119points

#12

Those Aren't Balconies, They’re Actually Hay Feeders For Giraffes

Final score:

133points

POST

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

Well I do love giraffes

43points

He believes that good design is even more critical now if Melbourne is to retain its reputation as a highly attractive and liveable city as it emerges from the COVID-19 pandemic. Reece is also happy that the challenges the city faces aren't too big to solve. At least not yet.

"Melbourne's planning processes are quicker and involve far less red tape compared to other big cities. This is an advantage we need to preserve. But we also need to acknowledge that we need to lift the general standard," he said. I wonder if he follows Ugly Melbourne Houses. Or the person running it...

#13

Colonel Pistachio’s Tudor Turrets Raise Up My Peppermint Helicopter Roller Disco Roundabout

Final score:

130points

POST

Hannah Edwards 3 years ago

I don’t mind this half as much as the macMansions and the neoclassical nightmares.

47points

#14

Caravan Of Courage

Final score:

127points

POST

Otter 3 years ago

Someone's upcyclng old house parts!

46points

#15

Animal Print Is A Neutral

Final score:

120points

POST

Random Panda 3 years ago

This one looks fun! It's not something I'd do, but I like looking at it.

71points

#16

Life Is Just About Trying To Do The Very Best You Can Do With The Size Of Window That You Have

Final score:

120points

POST

Laura Jones 3 years ago

looks like a filing cabinet

110points

#17

It Looks Like A Shower

Final score:

113points

POST

October 3 years ago

The architect has seen to much Miami Vice.

46points

#18

Cheeky Brick Butt Cheeks Wrapped In An Oh-So-Saucy Garter Belt Portico

Final score:

109points

POST

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

I dont know what to say...

30points

#19

Mary Poppins’ Lsd Dreamland Winky Wonky Summertime Lovin’ Peculiar Palazzo-A-Palooza

Final score:

105points

POST

Vicky Z 3 years ago

I'm more concerned of the title

80points

#20

That’s A Serious Sixpack

Final score:

104points

POST

Rose the Cook 3 years ago

This one caused quite a fuss. Neighbours took up a petition to have it removed.

64points

#21

Intergalactic Evil Mammoth Boxy Square Bonnet Wearing Robot Worm Computer Mansion

Final score:

104points

POST

Otter 3 years ago

Private home, or Sith kindergarten?

49points

#22

When It's Only Wednesday But Your Column Just Thinking 'Bout The Weekend

Final score:

101points

POST

Kona Pake 3 years ago

It just wants to crash for the weekend.

22points

#23

Anyone Got An Id On This LEGO Set?

Final score:

100points

POST

Libstak 3 years ago

I'm pretty sure that is a childcare centre.

73points

#24

The Hills Have Eyes

Final score:

100points

POST

Al Cook 3 years ago

That's A LOT of retaining work, wouldn't want to be in one of those in an earthquake!

44points

#25

Your Dreams Are Like The Left Half Of This “Balcony”... Totally Pointless And Likely To Result In Horrific Injury If You Dwell On Them For Too Long

Final score:

96points

POST

Hungry Panda 3 years ago

Ah the title

44points

#26

All Roads Lead To Somewhere In South Australia

Final score:

96points

POST

Al Cook 3 years ago

Well, there are a lot of Greeks here!

41points

#27

Melborgian "Trying To Take Your Underpants Off Without Taking Your Trousers Off First" Robot Moderne

Final score:

95points

POST

Laura Jones 3 years ago

those windows would do my head in

25points

#28

Everybody Who Lives Here Loves Maths

Final score:

89points

POST

Al Cook 3 years ago

That appears to be a piece of cowling repurposed from a 747 engine. Interesting????

45points

#29

I Think They Could've Squeezed Another One In

Final score:

86points

POST

Persp Gold 3 years ago

why have windows. I've heard of privacy hedges, but privacy columns?

53points

#30

Golden Graytime Jazzercise Spacesuit Jumpsuit Wangle Angle Window Panels A La Clipped Clop Shrubbery-Au-Go-Go

Final score:

84points

POST

Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago

I love the shrubbery!

25points

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#31

Some Cardboard Boxes On A Rocky Outcrop

Final score:

33points

POST

Becky Klebe 3 years ago

Looks like a school

4points

#32

How's Everyone's Week Been? Inexplicably Complicated? Full Of Giant Setbacks? Lacking Any Real Over-Arching Logical Thematic Or Stylistic Aesthetic Direction? Yeh Mine Too

Final score:

33points

POST

Gelato Cat 3 years ago

I live in Melbourne these are everywhere! The keep nocking down 18th century houses to make fugly duplexes like this

14points

#33

Wizard's Spaceship Marina Rocket Discoteque Pants Hot Tub Balcony Time Machine Post Moderne

Final score:

33points

POST

Bobbie Meyers 3 years ago

Not hating it.

14points

#34

Are Your Friends Hassling You To Have A Big One Tonight? But You’re Feeling A Little Too Dilapidated Castle... Why Not Stay In And Relax. You’ll Feel A Lot Less Overgrown And Smelling Like Something Died Inside You Tomorrow Morning

Are Your Friends Hassling You To Have A Big One Tonight? But You’re Feeling A Little Too Dilapidated Castle... Why Not Stay In And Relax. You’ll Feel A Lot Less Overgrown And Smelling Like Something Died Inside You Tomorrow Morning

Final score:

32points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago

There is DEFINITELY at least one corpse in there.

11points

#35

A Short Time Ago, In A Suburb Not That Far Far Away

Final score:

31points

POST

AndThenICommented 3 years ago

Wasn’t this house on the Aus version of Grand Designs?

2points

#36

Exactly The Correct Amount Of Quite A Lot Of Garages

Final score:

30points

POST

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

30% house and 70 % garage

11points

#37

Don’t Forget People... You’ve Only Got Til June 30 To Make Your Home Giraffe Ready

Final score:

30points

POST

Robert T 3 years ago

Is this next door to the one with fake balconies/giraffe hay feeders?

10points

#38

Incomplete Spacestationist Moderne

Final score:

30points

POST

Angela B 3 years ago

Looks like a scrap yard threw up.

23points

#39

In N' Out Under Over-Deconstructionism-Ness

Final score:

30points

POST

Beans 3 years ago

MC Escher approves

2points

#40

Cloudsome

Final score:

29points

POST

Al Cook 3 years ago

Looks like someone took inspiration from the MI6 building at Vauxhall Cross!

3points

#41

Mix N' Match Tiny Hamptons Picnic Time Active Wear Tracksuit Pants Moderne

Final score:

29points

POST

Rebecca Boddie 3 years ago

When you let your children "help" with the design

8points

#42

Nice Hat Dude

Final score:

29points

POST

Bobbie Meyers 3 years ago

Why?

7points

#43

Sometimes The Biggest Risks We Take Are Those We Take With Our Hearts. Our Canopies. And All Those Other Bits. Everywhere

Final score:

29points

POST

Hannah Edwards 3 years ago

How do people in Melbourne get planning permission for s**t like this?

3points

#44

Stay Strong Old Fella... That Concrete Panel Wall Is Probably More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Him

Final score:

28points

POST

Bobbie Meyers 3 years ago

Poor old house.☹️

23points

#45

Robot Winter Is Coming

Final score:

28points

POST

Otter 3 years ago

A resting AT-AT?

12points

#46

The Correct Amount Of Massively Over-Scaled Balcony Addition

Final score:

28points

POST

R Carson 3 years ago

Prison with yard balcony.

9points

#47

High Tight Brick Pants

Final score:

27points

POST

Otter 3 years ago

Great, if you're expecting to be besieged by the living dead.

17points

#48

Something Something Windows

Final score:

27points

POST

R Carson 3 years ago

Combine micro windows might be ok.

1point

#49

1980s Beige Tubular Trouser Slacks Columns Giraffe Compliant Accounting Conference Centre Post Moderne

Final score:

27points

POST

NOLAHusker 3 years ago

"Giraffe compliant" is the best.

10points

#50

In Life, Most Things Are Half As Good As You Think They’ll Be 50% Of The Time

Final score:

26points

POST

Ellie Rosser 3 years ago

To be fair, it's a bastard of a lot, they were never going to make something both wonderful and workable.

7points

#51

And On The Eighth Day, The Awlmitey Created Faux Neo Baroque Open Roller Disco Porticos

Final score:

26points

POST

Raven Sheridan 3 years ago

Just tacky! 🤮

7points

#52

This House Never Skips Column Day

Final score:

26points

POST

Mari 3 years ago

I've paid for tge bricks so you gonna use them all!

9points

#53

The Correct Amount Of Miniature Grand Ceremonial Arch

Final score:

26points

POST

Otter 3 years ago

It looks like half a McDonald's. NcDonalds?

29points

#54

Dude... You’re Looking Really Tired

Final score:

26points

POST

R Carson 3 years ago

Grumpy house.

4points

#55

Nuthin Ron With This

Final score:

25points

POST

Scagsy 3 years ago

The misaligned gap between the 'O' and the 'N' is killing me.

22points

#56

When Your Dating Profile Said “Homely”, I Didn’t Think It Would Actually Mean “Massive, Vacant, And Covered In Tatts”

Final score:

25points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

You can fix this up to be beautiful. The potential ... Was this an old school?

20points

#57

It Helps Steer The Eye Away From The 50's Kitchen Table Laminate Facade

Final score:

25points

POST

Persp Gold 3 years ago

decisions were made

9points

#58

Look At You Four. All Dressed Identically. You Can’t Go Out Like That

Final score:

25points

POST

Bobbie Meyers 3 years ago

It's weird, I kinda like it.

6points

#59

How’s Everyone’s Week Been? Exciting With Lots Of Variety? Or Just Pretty Much Exactly The Same With Very Slight Shades Of Difference

Final score:

25points

POST

Angela B 3 years ago

Melburnian gulag aesthetic?

13points

#60

Maison De La Razor Sharp Deep Space Accountant’s Lunchtime Workout Shellsuit Tracksuit Jumpsuit Pants Suit A La Angles De La Bangles

Final score:

24points

POST

Raven Sheridan 3 years ago

Edgy. I like it.

10points

#61

Wonky De-Chopped Sandwiched Double Setbacked Hard Drive Second Hand Business Suit Robot Moderne

Final score:

24points

POST

Kittypanda 3 years ago

These titles are making me laugh more than the houses XD

7points

#62

Giants Also Need Homes

Final score:

23points

POST

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

I own a cleaning business. This one is gonna cost you

8points

#63

Adidas Tracksuit Pants Moderne

Final score:

23points

POST

Otter 3 years ago

I like that one! It looks like an art gallery.

4points

#64

Business In The Front, Party In The Back

Final score:

23points

POST

Al Cook 3 years ago

A lot of homes in Australia are built with a facade on the frontage and then plain brick on the remaining aspects.

9points

#65

The Empire Sets Back

Final score:

23points

POST

Beans 3 years ago

This is what's happening in my suburb. people knocking older nicer houses to build things that look like libraries or art galleries. Makes me sad and it's super wasteful and screams entitlement. Bricks are great and last so long and a lot of old houses were built so be well and just need some TLC To knock it down to get a modern look with cheap and nasty materials when you have a perfectly good house is nuts

9points

#66

When You Really Need A Haircut After Lockdown

Final score:

22points

POST

Lyone Fein 3 years ago

Keep the green!

2points

#67

Heritage Hard Drive Moderne

Final score:

22points

POST

R Carson 3 years ago

Nah

2points

#68

Aqua Marina Moque Tudor Wizard

Final score:

22points

POST

Bobbie Meyers 3 years ago

This one is cool.

11points

#69

Maison De La Triple Ripple Elongated Bo Beep Mansard Fairy Prairy Princess A La Lovingly Tended White Rose Promendade

Final score:

22points

POST

Random Panda 3 years ago

This would look a bit better if the three arches were huge windows, from ground to roof.

6points

#70

Knit My Bricks Up

Final score:

21points

POST

A Jones 3 years ago

this isn't too bad.

3points

#71

I Can Pretty Much Do This Job With My Hands Behind My Back

Final score:

21points

POST

Michael Barry 3 years ago

"We are the muses. Goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes." "Heroes like Hercules!" "Honey, you mean HUNK-ules! Ooh, I'd like to make sweet music with--"

9points

#72

You Know When You Try And Assemble Something From A Box And You Always End Up With A Bit Of Some Type Of Roof Left Over At The End And You’re All Like "Hope That Wasn’t Important”

Final score:

20points

POST

Bobbie Meyers 3 years ago

Waste of materials.

2points

#73

Facade Du La Kit Kat

Final score:

20points

POST

Random Panda 3 years ago

I don't see anything wrong with this house.

16points

#74

Seamlessness-Ness

Final score:

20points

POST

Tee Witt 3 years ago

Seems like something with a little age ruined by improvement.

4points

#75

Exactly Correctly The Precise Amount Of Just A Bit Too Much Of Not Enough Of The Least Amount Of What Was Required... There

Final score:

20points

POST

Raven Sheridan 3 years ago

If Tigger was a building. 🐯

10points

#76

2021 Is Gonna Be All About Making Things That Look Like They Shouldn't Be That Complicated Look Slightly More Complicated Than Less Complicated Versions Of A Far More Complicated Version Of Their Most Complicated Self

2021 Is Gonna Be All About Making Things That Look Like They Shouldn't Be That Complicated Look Slightly More Complicated Than Less Complicated Versions Of A Far More Complicated Version Of Their Most Complicated Self

Final score:

19points

POST

MRS FLASHMAN 3 years ago

This is not bad

5points

#77

Wavy Flagstone Spaceship Accountancy Surfshop Conference Centre Moderne

Final score:

19points

POST

MRS FLASHMAN 3 years ago

I like it

7points

#78

Like A Putrid Chocolate Milkshake

Final score:

18points

POST

Random Person 3 years ago

I feel so uncomfortable looking at that!!

4points

#79

Are You Struggling To Go Beyond One Word Descriptors For Fugly Houses You Encounter?

Final score:

17points

POST

Al Cook 3 years ago

I don't think this will be ugly when it's finished, but I'm guessing it's in a suburb with a lot of older "character" houses, and a grouchy neighbour doesn't like the contemporary style of it.

14points