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Not everything in Australia is "upside down". Sure, their Christmas is in the summer and they might have a BBQ to celebrate it, but in some ways, they're just like us Northern Hemisphere folks. Our fascination with bad architecture, for example, is equally obsessive.

Turns out, the Irish, Belgians, and Dutch aren't the only ones shaming their native buildings on Instagram. There's an account called Ugly Melbourne Houses doing precisely the same on the other end of the world.

Taste is universal. I know. But ironically, it's what allows this online project to make fun of the houses it wants to. Here are some of them!

More info: Instagram

#1

Every Time I Try To Build A Custom Sims House

Every Time I Try To Build A Custom Sims House

uglymelbournehouses Report

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    #2

    Amy's Winehouse

    Amy's Winehouse

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Al Cook
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually really like that sculpture, it's just not right for THAT particular building.

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    Nicholas Reece, deputy lord mayor of Melbourne, thinks the city is actually Australia's most interesting settlement for architecture and design.

    "Beginning with the good bones provided by the Hoddle Grid, Melbourne has added some amazing buildings over the decades," Reece wrote. "The city has also produced some brilliant home-grown local architects and has a distinctive design culture, without the overreliance on international 'starchitects' like Sydney."

    #3

    Perfectly Pitched For A Neighbourhood Near You

    Perfectly Pitched For A Neighbourhood Near You

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #4

    They Forgot The Plaster Lions

    They Forgot The Plaster Lions

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Jayne Kyra
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you use the Sims 4 Mansion Baron "Purchase 20 Columns" aspiration in real life.

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    #5

    When A Friend Doesn't Invite You To Their House And You're Really Quite Relieved About It Actually

    When A Friend Doesn't Invite You To Their House And You're Really Quite Relieved About It Actually

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    However, the deputy lord mayor thinks that Melbourne may have lost its touch in recent years. "[We have] too many towers that are nothing more than spreadsheets in the sky, delivering a profit for developers but leaving the city poorer because of bad design and low-quality materials."

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    "Too many buildings that are low-grade and bland when newly complete and destined to deteriorate into eyesores over time," Reece continued. "Tall towers that set out to be seen from afar but offer nothing to the pedestrians walking the streets of the city. Featureless glass boxes that could be in any city in the world, rather than a city with the character, style, and sophistication of Melbourne."

    #6

    How's Everyone's Week Been? Chaotic? Jumbled? Overly Complicated? Yep. Me Too

    How's Everyone's Week Been? Chaotic? Jumbled? Overly Complicated? Yep. Me Too

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #7

    Proudness Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I'm Feeling After Receiving This Piece Of Moderne Arte Collage In My Inbox

    Proudness Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I'm Feeling After Receiving This Piece Of Moderne Arte Collage In My Inbox

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #8

    Hang On. Wait... What?! Your Therapist And Your Massive Inflatable Santa Supplier Are The Same Person?!

    Hang On. Wait... What?! Your Therapist And Your Massive Inflatable Santa Supplier Are The Same Person?!

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    He said the city started noticing its flaws and began drawing a line, saying it must do better. "BHP House on William Street and ICI House in East Melbourne are both over 50 years old. Yet they both still look elegant and modern. They are great examples of how good design holds up and continues to shine over time."

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    "Melbourne has long been famous for its beautiful shop fronts, especially along Collins and Bourke streets. We need to extend that experience to other quarters of the city," Reece explained.

    #9

    If Large Cars = Small-Membered Owners, What On Earth Does This Symbolise?

    If Large Cars = Small-Membered Owners, What On Earth Does This Symbolise?

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #10

    Picasso's Lovechild

    Picasso's Lovechild

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #11

    Barbie's Dream House

    Barbie's Dream House

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Samantha Lomb
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is cute. not the biggest pink fan but it works with the mid century vibe

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    #12

    Those Aren't Balconies, They’re Actually Hay Feeders For Giraffes

    Those Aren't Balconies, They’re Actually Hay Feeders For Giraffes

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    He believes that good design is even more critical now if Melbourne is to retain its reputation as a highly attractive and liveable city as it emerges from the COVID-19 pandemic. Reece is also happy that the challenges the city faces aren't too big to solve. At least not yet.

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    "Melbourne's planning processes are quicker and involve far less red tape compared to other big cities. This is an advantage we need to preserve. But we also need to acknowledge that we need to lift the general standard," he said. I wonder if he follows Ugly Melbourne Houses. Or the person running it...

    #13

    Colonel Pistachio’s Tudor Turrets Raise Up My Peppermint Helicopter Roller Disco Roundabout

    Colonel Pistachio’s Tudor Turrets Raise Up My Peppermint Helicopter Roller Disco Roundabout

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t mind this half as much as the macMansions and the neoclassical nightmares.

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    #15

    Animal Print Is A Neutral

    Animal Print Is A Neutral

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Random Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one looks fun! It's not something I'd do, but I like looking at it.

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    #16

    Life Is Just About Trying To Do The Very Best You Can Do With The Size Of Window That You Have

    Life Is Just About Trying To Do The Very Best You Can Do With The Size Of Window That You Have

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    #18

    Cheeky Brick Butt Cheeks Wrapped In An Oh-So-Saucy Garter Belt Portico

    Cheeky Brick Butt Cheeks Wrapped In An Oh-So-Saucy Garter Belt Portico

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #19

    Mary Poppins’ Lsd Dreamland Winky Wonky Summertime Lovin’ Peculiar Palazzo-A-Palooza

    Mary Poppins’ Lsd Dreamland Winky Wonky Summertime Lovin’ Peculiar Palazzo-A-Palooza

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #20

    That’s A Serious Sixpack

    That’s A Serious Sixpack

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Rose the Cook
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one caused quite a fuss. Neighbours took up a petition to have it removed.

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    #21

    Intergalactic Evil Mammoth Boxy Square Bonnet Wearing Robot Worm Computer Mansion

    Intergalactic Evil Mammoth Boxy Square Bonnet Wearing Robot Worm Computer Mansion

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #22

    When It's Only Wednesday But Your Column Just Thinking 'Bout The Weekend

    When It's Only Wednesday But Your Column Just Thinking 'Bout The Weekend

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #23

    Anyone Got An Id On This LEGO Set?

    Anyone Got An Id On This LEGO Set?

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #24

    The Hills Have Eyes

    The Hills Have Eyes

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Al Cook
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's A LOT of retaining work, wouldn't want to be in one of those in an earthquake!

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    #25

    Your Dreams Are Like The Left Half Of This “Balcony”... Totally Pointless And Likely To Result In Horrific Injury If You Dwell On Them For Too Long

    Your Dreams Are Like The Left Half Of This “Balcony”... Totally Pointless And Likely To Result In Horrific Injury If You Dwell On Them For Too Long

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #26

    All Roads Lead To Somewhere In South Australia

    All Roads Lead To Somewhere In South Australia

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #27

    Melborgian "Trying To Take Your Underpants Off Without Taking Your Trousers Off First" Robot Moderne

    Melborgian "Trying To Take Your Underpants Off Without Taking Your Trousers Off First" Robot Moderne

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #28

    Everybody Who Lives Here Loves Maths

    Everybody Who Lives Here Loves Maths

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Al Cook
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That appears to be a piece of cowling repurposed from a 747 engine. Interesting????

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    #29

    I Think They Could've Squeezed Another One In

    I Think They Could've Squeezed Another One In

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #30

    Golden Graytime Jazzercise Spacesuit Jumpsuit Wangle Angle Window Panels A La Clipped Clop Shrubbery-Au-Go-Go

    Golden Graytime Jazzercise Spacesuit Jumpsuit Wangle Angle Window Panels A La Clipped Clop Shrubbery-Au-Go-Go

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    #32

    How's Everyone's Week Been? Inexplicably Complicated? Full Of Giant Setbacks? Lacking Any Real Over-Arching Logical Thematic Or Stylistic Aesthetic Direction? Yeh Mine Too

    How's Everyone's Week Been? Inexplicably Complicated? Full Of Giant Setbacks? Lacking Any Real Over-Arching Logical Thematic Or Stylistic Aesthetic Direction? Yeh Mine Too

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Gelato Cat
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live in Melbourne these are everywhere! The keep nocking down 18th century houses to make fugly duplexes like this

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    #33

    Wizard's Spaceship Marina Rocket Discoteque Pants Hot Tub Balcony Time Machine Post Moderne

    Wizard's Spaceship Marina Rocket Discoteque Pants Hot Tub Balcony Time Machine Post Moderne

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #34

    Are Your Friends Hassling You To Have A Big One Tonight? But You’re Feeling A Little Too Dilapidated Castle... Why Not Stay In And Relax. You’ll Feel A Lot Less Overgrown And Smelling Like Something Died Inside You Tomorrow Morning

    Are Your Friends Hassling You To Have A Big One Tonight? But You’re Feeling A Little Too Dilapidated Castle... Why Not Stay In And Relax. You’ll Feel A Lot Less Overgrown And Smelling Like Something Died Inside You Tomorrow Morning

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #35

    A Short Time Ago, In A Suburb Not That Far Far Away

    A Short Time Ago, In A Suburb Not That Far Far Away

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #36

    Exactly The Correct Amount Of Quite A Lot Of Garages

    Exactly The Correct Amount Of Quite A Lot Of Garages

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #37

    Don’t Forget People... You’ve Only Got Til June 30 To Make Your Home Giraffe Ready

    Don’t Forget People... You’ve Only Got Til June 30 To Make Your Home Giraffe Ready

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #38

    Incomplete Spacestationist Moderne

    Incomplete Spacestationist Moderne

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #40

    Cloudsome

    Cloudsome

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Al Cook
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like someone took inspiration from the MI6 building at Vauxhall Cross!

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    #41

    Mix N' Match Tiny Hamptons Picnic Time Active Wear Tracksuit Pants Moderne

    Mix N' Match Tiny Hamptons Picnic Time Active Wear Tracksuit Pants Moderne

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #43

    Sometimes The Biggest Risks We Take Are Those We Take With Our Hearts. Our Canopies. And All Those Other Bits. Everywhere

    Sometimes The Biggest Risks We Take Are Those We Take With Our Hearts. Our Canopies. And All Those Other Bits. Everywhere

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do people in Melbourne get planning permission for s**t like this?

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    #44

    Stay Strong Old Fella... That Concrete Panel Wall Is Probably More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Him

    Stay Strong Old Fella... That Concrete Panel Wall Is Probably More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Him

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #46

    The Correct Amount Of Massively Over-Scaled Balcony Addition

    The Correct Amount Of Massively Over-Scaled Balcony Addition

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #47

    High Tight Brick Pants

    High Tight Brick Pants

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #48

    Something Something Windows

    Something Something Windows

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    #49

    1980s Beige Tubular Trouser Slacks Columns Giraffe Compliant Accounting Conference Centre Post Moderne

    1980s Beige Tubular Trouser Slacks Columns Giraffe Compliant Accounting Conference Centre Post Moderne

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #50

    In Life, Most Things Are Half As Good As You Think They’ll Be 50% Of The Time

    In Life, Most Things Are Half As Good As You Think They’ll Be 50% Of The Time

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Ellie Rosser
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, it's a bastard of a lot, they were never going to make something both wonderful and workable.

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    #51

    And On The Eighth Day, The Awlmitey Created Faux Neo Baroque Open Roller Disco Porticos

    And On The Eighth Day, The Awlmitey Created Faux Neo Baroque Open Roller Disco Porticos

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #52

    This House Never Skips Column Day

    This House Never Skips Column Day

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #53

    The Correct Amount Of Miniature Grand Ceremonial Arch

    The Correct Amount Of Miniature Grand Ceremonial Arch

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #55

    Nuthin Ron With This

    Nuthin Ron With This

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    #56

    When Your Dating Profile Said “Homely”, I Didn’t Think It Would Actually Mean “Massive, Vacant, And Covered In Tatts”

    When Your Dating Profile Said “Homely”, I Didn’t Think It Would Actually Mean “Massive, Vacant, And Covered In Tatts”

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can fix this up to be beautiful. The potential ... Was this an old school?

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    #57

    It Helps Steer The Eye Away From The 50's Kitchen Table Laminate Facade

    It Helps Steer The Eye Away From The 50's Kitchen Table Laminate Facade

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #58

    Look At You Four. All Dressed Identically. You Can’t Go Out Like That

    Look At You Four. All Dressed Identically. You Can’t Go Out Like That

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #59

    How’s Everyone’s Week Been? Exciting With Lots Of Variety? Or Just Pretty Much Exactly The Same With Very Slight Shades Of Difference

    How’s Everyone’s Week Been? Exciting With Lots Of Variety? Or Just Pretty Much Exactly The Same With Very Slight Shades Of Difference

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #60

    Maison De La Razor Sharp Deep Space Accountant’s Lunchtime Workout Shellsuit Tracksuit Jumpsuit Pants Suit A La Angles De La Bangles

    Maison De La Razor Sharp Deep Space Accountant’s Lunchtime Workout Shellsuit Tracksuit Jumpsuit Pants Suit A La Angles De La Bangles

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #61

    Wonky De-Chopped Sandwiched Double Setbacked Hard Drive Second Hand Business Suit Robot Moderne

    Wonky De-Chopped Sandwiched Double Setbacked Hard Drive Second Hand Business Suit Robot Moderne

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #62

    Giants Also Need Homes

    Giants Also Need Homes

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    #63

    Adidas Tracksuit Pants Moderne

    Adidas Tracksuit Pants Moderne

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #64

    Business In The Front, Party In The Back

    Business In The Front, Party In The Back

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Al Cook
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lot of homes in Australia are built with a facade on the frontage and then plain brick on the remaining aspects.

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    #65

    The Empire Sets Back

    The Empire Sets Back

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Beans
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what's happening in my suburb. people knocking older nicer houses to build things that look like libraries or art galleries. Makes me sad and it's super wasteful and screams entitlement. Bricks are great and last so long and a lot of old houses were built so be well and just need some TLC To knock it down to get a modern look with cheap and nasty materials when you have a perfectly good house is nuts

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    #69

    Maison De La Triple Ripple Elongated Bo Beep Mansard Fairy Prairy Princess A La Lovingly Tended White Rose Promendade

    Maison De La Triple Ripple Elongated Bo Beep Mansard Fairy Prairy Princess A La Lovingly Tended White Rose Promendade

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Random Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This would look a bit better if the three arches were huge windows, from ground to roof.

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    #71

    I Can Pretty Much Do This Job With My Hands Behind My Back

    I Can Pretty Much Do This Job With My Hands Behind My Back

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Michael Barry
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We are the muses. Goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes." "Heroes like Hercules!" "Honey, you mean HUNK-ules! Ooh, I'd like to make sweet music with--"

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    #72

    You Know When You Try And Assemble Something From A Box And You Always End Up With A Bit Of Some Type Of Roof Left Over At The End And You’re All Like "Hope That Wasn’t Important”

    You Know When You Try And Assemble Something From A Box And You Always End Up With A Bit Of Some Type Of Roof Left Over At The End And You’re All Like "Hope That Wasn’t Important”

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #74

    Seamlessness-Ness

    Seamlessness-Ness

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Tee Witt
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seems like something with a little age ruined by improvement.

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    #75

    Exactly Correctly The Precise Amount Of Just A Bit Too Much Of Not Enough Of The Least Amount Of What Was Required... There

    Exactly Correctly The Precise Amount Of Just A Bit Too Much Of Not Enough Of The Least Amount Of What Was Required... There

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #76

    2021 Is Gonna Be All About Making Things That Look Like They Shouldn't Be That Complicated Look Slightly More Complicated Than Less Complicated Versions Of A Far More Complicated Version Of Their Most Complicated Self

    2021 Is Gonna Be All About Making Things That Look Like They Shouldn't Be That Complicated Look Slightly More Complicated Than Less Complicated Versions Of A Far More Complicated Version Of Their Most Complicated Self

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    #77

    Wavy Flagstone Spaceship Accountancy Surfshop Conference Centre Moderne

    Wavy Flagstone Spaceship Accountancy Surfshop Conference Centre Moderne

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #78

    Like A Putrid Chocolate Milkshake

    Like A Putrid Chocolate Milkshake

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #79

    Are You Struggling To Go Beyond One Word Descriptors For Fugly Houses You Encounter?

    Are You Struggling To Go Beyond One Word Descriptors For Fugly Houses You Encounter?

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Al Cook
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think this will be ugly when it's finished, but I'm guessing it's in a suburb with a lot of older "character" houses, and a grouchy neighbour doesn't like the contemporary style of it.

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    #80

    The Best Amount Of Arches

    The Best Amount Of Arches

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #81

    Life Can Sometimes Feel Like You Are Dragging Yourself Up A Hill Sideways Wearing A Heavily Monotoned Concrete Render Suit Weighed Down By A Massively Oversized Entry Portico

    Life Can Sometimes Feel Like You Are Dragging Yourself Up A Hill Sideways Wearing A Heavily Monotoned Concrete Render Suit Weighed Down By A Massively Oversized Entry Portico

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #82

    We All Need A Friend Who's Always There To Temporarily Support Your Facade

    We All Need A Friend Who's Always There To Temporarily Support Your Facade

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #83

    Just Because It Looks Like A Giraffe Doesn’t Mean It Has

    Just Because It Looks Like A Giraffe Doesn’t Mean It Has

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    #84

    Kaptain Kraft Shingles Triple Stacked Soft Buttery Pastel Cheesecake Massive Garage Mcmoderne With A Side Of Unfinished Landscape Dressings

    Kaptain Kraft Shingles Triple Stacked Soft Buttery Pastel Cheesecake Massive Garage Mcmoderne With A Side Of Unfinished Landscape Dressings

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #85

    The Absolute Bare Minimum Amount Of Quite A Lot Of House

    The Absolute Bare Minimum Amount Of Quite A Lot Of House

    uglymelbournehouses Report

    #87

    My Mate Dave Has A Tyreless-Less Devotion To His Front Garden

    My Mate Dave Has A Tyreless-Less Devotion To His Front Garden

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Joe Reaves
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Recycling is always good. The issue is the bare ground. It needs something - decking, paving (although that's bad for drainage), fake grass, anything

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    #88

    Name A More Iconic Intergalactic Retro Bricky Orangey Deep Fried Space Duo, We'll Wait

    Name A More Iconic Intergalactic Retro Bricky Orangey Deep Fried Space Duo, We'll Wait

    uglymelbournehouses Report

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    Al Cook
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK, this one is clearly a different building in the background!

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