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30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30

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If age is just a number, then a prison cell is just a room. When they say that hangovers get worse after your mid-twenties, they're not lying. Because, heck, they do, and a few bevvies can take a day to recover and two pills of Ibuprofen to get that clapping monkey with cymbals out of one's head.

Do you know what is even less fun? Turning 30. By 30, you're expected to have a house, two children and to have seen the Taj Mahal. Oh, and about 50 grand in your savings account. I know you've come here to read jokes about turning 30, but turning 30 is a joke in itself.

Okay, okay, it's not THAT bad. Well, perhaps your knees and back don't feel like they were when you were 18, but yakno, it's bearable. So whether you're looking for turning 30 jokes, funny birthday puns for a friend who's turning 30 soon, or just want to laugh at yourself, you've come to the right place.

Below, we've compiled a lengthy list of 30th birthday jokes, jokes about getting old(er), and just witty adult jokes. Take a look at the funny jokes we have gathered, and let us know if any made you crack a smile! And show off those pearly whites more often while you still have them *winking face*.

P.S. if you're looking for funny birthday wishes, we got you covered!

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#1

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I’m 30, but I still feel like I’m 20 until I hang out with 20-year-olds. Then I’m like, no, never mind, I’m 30."

96points

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#2

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 " When someone says ‘10 years ago,’ I think about the 90s, not the 2013."

95points

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#3

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Welcome to 30! From now on, if you get pregnant, people will assume you did it on purpose."

86points

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#4

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "As long you don't have kids your 30's are like your 20s but with money."

85points

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#5

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 One day she noticed a gray hair in her bangs. She turned to her husband, pointed to her forehead, and said, 'Have you seen this?' 'What? You mean the wrinkles?'”

75points

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#6

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Inside every 30-year-old is an 18-year-old asking, ‘What happened?’"

70points

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#7

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Welcome to 30! The age when you should know better, but really don’t!"

68points

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#8

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."

62points

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#9

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Welcome to your 30! Ibuprofen is an acceptable breakfast."

53points

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#10

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Me in my 20s: Secretaly hates everyone.

Me in my 30s: Publicly hates everyone."

53points

#11

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I finally reached the perfect age. Somewhere between 29 years and none of your business!"

50points

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#12

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I'm oficially 'You look good for your age' years old."

49points

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#13

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "The chanting of 'Shots!' sounds more threatening than exciting."

46points

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#14

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "How can you say we are old after 30? We just became women! Like anyone took us seriously in our 20s…"

43points

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#15

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "The clothes you wore as a teenager are now vintage. Hope you rock that vintage style."

41points

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#16

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Turning 30? Age is just a number!"

" False: Age is a word." – Dwight Schrute

39points

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#17

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Your 30s – where if you don’t get 8 hours of sleep one night you’ll pay for it for a week."

38points

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#18

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "You’ll never be trusted by a teenager again. You’re officially too old to trust."

37points

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#19

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "It's 8:30 p.m. and you want to start a movie this late?"

35points

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#20

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Don’t worry about being 30. You’ll get over it within a decade."

34points

#21

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Your life might finally be together, but your body is falling apart."

33points

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#22

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Season 30, episode 1."

32points

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#23

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Welcome to the age your childhood self couldn’t even fathom."

31points

#24

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "When you turn 21 you finally experience the freedom of full throttle. If you make it to 30, it means you’ve discovered there’s a brake pedal too."

30points

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#25

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "30 isn't old. Depressing, but not old."

30points

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#26

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I'm not 30. I'm only $29.95 plus tax."

30points

#27

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Congratulations on reaching Level Thirty! You might want to save your progress - it gets waaaay harder from here."

29points

#28

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "When you turn 30, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents."

27points

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#29

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "It's true — your body will start hurting in places you didn't know possible."

27points

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#30

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I was thirty-two when I started cooking. Up until then, I just ate."

25points

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#31

"Getting carded is a compliment. It used to be a nuisance. Now it might as well be a pickup line."

20points

#32

"30: when stuff your mom said starts to make sense."

19points

#33

"You’re not like a regular 30 year old… you’re a cool 30 year old."

17points

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#34

"Don’t worry about turning 30. You’ll get used to it. Of course, you’ll be 40 by then."

17points

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#35

"Looks 18. Acts 12. That makes me 30!"

17points

#36

"Life not only begins at 30, it begins to show."

16points

#37

"I remember the good old days when I was 30, and all my kids were shorter than me." - Melanie White

16points

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#38

"‘You’re still a rockstar,’ I whisper to myself as I take my multivitamin and climb into bed at 21:45."

16points

#39

"In your 20s, you learned a lot, grew as a person, and had tons of fun. Now in 30s keep that stuff up."

16points

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#40

"After your 30th birthday, you are officially closer to 40 than you are to 20."

16points

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#41

"Turning 30? The good news is you can now afford the $10 bottle of wine."

15points

#42

"Being 30 isn’t so bad. At least your car insurance premiums go down."

15points

#43

"Turning 30? Look on the bright side. You’re still too young to be president."

15points

#44

"The countdown to your mid-life crisis has officially begun."

15points

#45

"At 30 you finally start to catch up on those dreams you’ve been chasing for the last 10 years."

15points

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#46

"30 is that age where your mind still thinks you're 29, your humor suggests you're 12 while your body mostly keeps asking if you're sure you're not dead yet."

15points

#47

"People are like, ‘I’m engaged!’ ‘I’m getting married!’ and I’m like, ‘Damn, I’m turning 30!’"

14points

#48

"30 is the new 20*"

*said no one ever.

14points

#49

"The only drinking game you play is 'Take a Sip Whenever You Damn Well Please.'”

14points

#50

"Vintage 1992, aged to perfection."

14points

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#51

"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

14points

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#52

"One good thing about turning 30: you’re not turning 40."

13points

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#53

"Too old for TikTok, too young for Life Alert."

13points

#54

"The epitaphs on tombstones of a great many people should read: died at thirty, and buried at sixty."

13points

#55

"Congratulations, you now have 30 excuses to let someone younger than you lift something heavy."

13points

#56

"Time and tide wait for no one, but time always stops for a woman of thirty."

13points

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#57

"Dating after 30 is like 'Are we doing this or not? I have stuff to do.'"

13points

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#58

"After 30, a body has a mind of its own."

12points

#59

"Happy 30th Birthday, only 35 more years of working, and you can retire."

12points

#60

"Yes, 10:00 p.m. is just too late now."

12points

#61

"Thursday is no longer part of the weekend."

12points

#62

"Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway!"

12points

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#63

"Your 30s – one year closer to having dinner at 5pm."

11points

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#64

"Look on the bright side, at least you don’t have to dread turning 30 anymore."

11points

#65

"I wanted to get you a birthday cake, but I couldn’t afford that many candles!"

11points

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#66

"Nothing changes when you cross thirty, except that you have to replace your moisturizer with anti-aging cream."

11points

#67

"Life before 30 is for making mistakes, and life after 30, is to repent for all of them."

11points

#68

"You’re turning 29 again?! You freak of nature."

11points

#69

"I’ve decided I’m not old. I’m 25 plus shipping and handling."

11points

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#70

"Being 30 years old is not a joke, but it can be a lot of laughs."

11points

#71

"30s... when 'happy hour' is a nap!"

11points

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#72

"Relax, your 30s are just like your 20s, except you look 10 years older, and everything is a little less fun."

10points

#73

"May your 20s rest in perfect peace."

10points

#74

"Turning thirty is the moment when you are old enough to understand life’s bigger responsibilities but young enough to shirk some of them while you still can."

10points

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#75

"Thinking about turning 30 seemed like a fairy tale when we were kids."

10points

#76

"After turned 30 you not feel any different now that I am 30 years old, maybe a little bit more breathless after turning off all my candles."

10points

#77

The sound you make after drinking whiskey at 22: “Gackerbleck.”
The sound you make after drinking whiskey at 30: “Mmmmm, sweet, sweet, nectar of the gods.”

10points

#78

"Stop worrying about your age. There will be many other problems to worry about in life after you turn thirty."

10points

#79

"Welcome to your 30s! Body parts start hurting for no reason."

9points

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#80

"No more wondering if you should be out at a club, now its at home with wine and pizza."

9points

#81

"Thirties? More like the 'hurties.' Strange little pains that somehow invade your knees, back and occasionally your digestive system. They seem to be immune to prayer and wishful thinking."

9points

#82

"Happy first anniversary of your 29th birthday!"

9points

#83

"You are now an official mature and responsible adult. This means you also have to start acting like one."

9points

#84

"Have fun waking up at 6 a.m. every morning to drop your kids off at school, unless you tell them to take the bus – in that case, have fun sleeping in and feeling guilty!"

9points

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#85

"Have fun on your birthday, but don’t get too crazy. Remember that you can’t blame your irresponsible behavior on “being in your 20s” anymore."

9points

#86

"Life turned 30 is less about knowing how old you are and more about believing how young you feel."

9points

#87

"I can’t believe it took you thirty years to grow up. Better late than never, though."

9points

#88

"Congratulations on being one year closer to a senior citizen's discount at the movies."

9points

#89

"There used to be a show called '30 Something' and if you can remember it, you’re beyond it."

9points

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#90

"When you were 24, you didn’t even get to the bar until 11 p.m. Now, you’re in bed and asleep before the monologue on SNL."

9points

#91

"The only thing a line in front of a bar means is that there’s a large crowd inside. And you don’t do crowds anymore."

9points

#92

"Gone are the days of having to hear about what you did on Saturday night from another person."

9points

#93

"You wouldn’t be caught dead alone at a bar in your 20s. But now, it’s the ultimate luxury. Just you, a drink, and then another drink."

9points

#94

"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get up again!"

9points

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#95

"Night sweats and hot flashes are nature's way of lowering your heating bill so you can save more money for your retirement."

9points

#96

"When high schoolers start looking like preschoolers to you… You might be a 30-year-old."

9points

#97

"You develop a safe drinking strategy on nights out."

9points

#98

"Oh you’re 30? One drink means 3 days of a hangover."

8points

#99

"Ugh. Your thirties… Where your friends from high school don’t invite you to their kids birthday parties anymore."

8points

#100

"Your 30s: where a day of drinking requires recovery time like a minor surgery."

8points

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#101

"At thirty you can get flirty without being dirty."

8points

#102

"You're not really 30. You're 18 with 12 years of experience."

8points

#103

"Don’t feel down. 30 years old is only 120 months older than 20, and it’s going to be almost the same – just subtract 90% of the fun."

8points

#104

"Don’t worry about turning 30. You can say you’re 29 for several more years, and people will believe it!"

8points

#105

"Don’t think of it as turning 30. We’re here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your 20th birthday."

8points

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#106

"Forget parties, gym memberships, and makeup. It’s time to spend all your money on cats, dogs and children!"

8points

#107

"Wow, you’re 30 now. There’s no better time in your life to celebrate with friends or family… except if you’re 29 or younger."

8points

#108

"If you were a card, you’d be an antique!"

8points

#109

"If you start drinking at 1 p.m., you best believe you’re on the couch watching Friends reruns with a family-sized bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos by 7."

8points

#110

"On a scale of 1-10, feeling a solid 30."

8points

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#111

"Happy 29 + 1th! But seriously, you're going to have to come to terms with this eventually."

7points

#112

"Recycled teenager."

7points

#113

"The good thing about turning 30 is if you don't want to do something, you can say, 'I'm too old to do that!'"

7points

#114

"Your Facebook feed is inundated with baby pictures and wedding photos."

7points

#115

"30s life hack: put your Nespresso machine next to your bed."

6points

#116

"Turning 30 is as easy as jumping rope… If the rope were covered in hard metal spikes, you were barefoot, and the ground was covered in hot lava."

6points

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#117

"If you think about it this way, you’re only 21 years and 3,285 days old."

6points

#118

"30 is a nice round number. Let’s just hope it doesn’t correspond to your figure."

4points

#119

"In dog years, you’d be getting closer to your death."

4points

Žydrūnė Trukanavičiūtė

Hi! I'm the visual editor at Bored Panda, spicing up articles on Gardening, Home & Design. Guess what I daydream about? A future home with a huge garden, filled with all kinds of veggies and flowers. Sounds like the perfect match, doesn't it?

Hi! I'm the visual editor at Bored Panda, spicing up articles on Gardening, Home & Design. Guess what I daydream about? A future home with a huge garden, filled with all kinds of veggies and flowers. Sounds like the perfect match, doesn't it?

Violeta Lyskoit

Violeta is an SEO Editor at Bored Panda. She has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism.

Violeta is an SEO Editor at Bored Panda. She has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism.

Darja Zinina

Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

What do you think ?

Ladytron 2 years ago

I'm 34 and I actually like this era in my life. Old enough to be invisible to predators, old enough to get better job offers etc. I like my appearance better too, more character. And I definitely start to care a lot less about what others think = less anxiety. All that but still considered "young enough" to have life ahead (even though years go by faster...). Overall pretty cool.

4points

Sojourner 2 years ago

I agree. The amount of growth and self-love I've gained now compared to ten years ago, I love this point in my life.

4points

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Lara Verne 2 years ago

30 years old is age, where you don't feel anydifferent from your twenties, but everyone is trying to suck the joy from your life, because "yOu sHouLd aCT yOuR aGe".

1point

Jenny Galbraith 2 years ago

The Bored Panda staff member has a fine photo but it was annoying to look at it 119 times.

1point

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Ladytron 2 years ago

I'm 34 and I actually like this era in my life. Old enough to be invisible to predators, old enough to get better job offers etc. I like my appearance better too, more character. And I definitely start to care a lot less about what others think = less anxiety. All that but still considered "young enough" to have life ahead (even though years go by faster...). Overall pretty cool.

4points

Sojourner 2 years ago

I agree. The amount of growth and self-love I've gained now compared to ten years ago, I love this point in my life.

4points

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Lara Verne 2 years ago

30 years old is age, where you don't feel anydifferent from your twenties, but everyone is trying to suck the joy from your life, because "yOu sHouLd aCT yOuR aGe".

1point

Jenny Galbraith 2 years ago

The Bored Panda staff member has a fine photo but it was annoying to look at it 119 times.

1point

Load More Comments

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