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Cold truths are hard to swallow for a reason. They strip us of the illusion that everything’s in our control and that we know things best. But in reality, that’s not how things work, and who likes to be told that?!

What’s a truth no one wants to hear?” wondered Redditor u/grubbseuph11 on r/AskReddit and people shared some illuminating and brutally honest responses, like the hard-to-digest fact that “friends will come and go,” and that “no matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.”

So let’s get ready to be hit by a cold shower that should make you rethink this whole perspective on our lives, and be sure to check out our previous post with more hard truths right here.

#1

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You aren’t a hero or even a good person just because you’re in the military

SouthwestTraveller , Diego González Report

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Natalia Shoemark
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

American brain washing... "thank you for your service"... I mean, yes, thank you! But war needs to be feared not celebrated!

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#3

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You are much closer to being poor and homeless than you are to being super rich

fckboris , Shail Sharma Report

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, I am closer to being a long-term BP commentator than a long-term professional writer 🤷‍♀️

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In order to find out why exactly it's so hard to swallow a hard truth, and how we should react to it, Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.

“When we develop close relationships, we expect those people to be gentle with us, not hurt us,” said Susan explaining why hard truths are not pleasant to hear. “When they offer up a hard truth, it violates the expectation that the person isn't going to cause us pain. We want them to love and encourage us—but we don't always realize that a hard truth is being given to us with love and encouragement, with our best interests in mind.”

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#4

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Bad people don’t always “get what they deserve”.

EmbarrassedCar7457 , Abbat Report

#5

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Not all babies are cute.

616abc517 , Ryan Franco Report

#6

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them “I don't know” is a perfectly valid answer to many questions.

TheBrassDancer , Andrew Neel Report

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Tim Pillinger
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a professional qualification where you have to have said "sorry, I can't answer that question" to qualify. My boss primed the customer to ask something silly.

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“Often, what someone else calls a ‘hard truth’ we call ‘criticism,’” she said. “If a criticism is true, we can agree and apologize, then work to make it right—or we can ignore and deflect it if it isn't true.”

Moreover, Susan said that when someone we care about delivers a hard truth, we should take that opinion more seriously, because this is a person whose opinion we trust. “I advise my clients to think about the intention behind the message. If the intention is to help us, prevent us from making a mistake, or intervene before we get hurt, it's worthwhile to consider.”

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#7

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.

MayaButtreeks1985 , Adrian Swancar Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mistakes are unavoidable. Failure is unavoidable. We cannot run from it and need to stop being so afraid, because it's ok to not get everything right all the time, and like this says, sometimes it's out if your control

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#8

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Some people are bad parents.

Being funny or smart doesn’t mean you’re ready to take care if a human being (maybe even multiple) for a good chunk of your life.

Please don’t get kids to fix a relationship either, I’ve seen this too much and it doesn’t work.

UwU_was_ist_das , Alberto Casetta Report

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Rick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t have kids and don’t want them and it’s simply because I don’t want to spend all of my adult life looking after and raising a child, I just want to live my own and not worry about that.

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#9

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Most people genuinely do not care about you or your opinions, which is just fine

Klaus_Heisler87 , LinkedIn Sales Solutions Report

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Rick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, social media has made a lot of people forget this rule.

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Susan advises asking yourself if the "hard truth" is really true. “Be brutally honest with yourself—remember why your loved one brought it up to you in the first place!”

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“It's beneficial to hear a hard truth when we're hurting someone else, hurting ourselves, or not being true to our values,” she explained and added: “So situations that look like that would be drug/alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse, bad financial or career decisions, or dating someone married if you're religious.”

#10

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them No matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.

DeathSpiral321 , Jorge Saavedra Report

#11

Most people shouldn’t have kids.

Swedish-Butt-Whistle Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you look at the impact of 7 billion humans at a time on the surface of the planet, yeah. This is probably true.

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#12

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Having a University degree doesn't guarantee you a job

PripyatHorse , Abby Thompson Report

#13

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Life will never be exactly like it was before the pandemic started.

SchteeveFour , Mauro Lima Report

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After the 1918 influenza epidemic came the roaring 20's which was revolutionary for both the arts and society, a similar thing happened with the renaissance, so who knows, maybe it will never be the same again for the better ( for those who have lost jobs/loved ones to Covid i am not minimising ur suffering)

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#14

You can't run from yourself. Moving towns, cities or even countries won't automatically change who you are

MD564 Report

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JuJu
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be way higher. It's important to be at peace with yourself otherwise you will never be happy.

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#15

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Friends will come and go. You will have many friends who one day you will never see again.

Realitycheck-4u , Matheus Ferrero Report

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K. Lange
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and you will often learn it the hard way: when you would need them the most - they will disappear.

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#16

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You are the main character in your life but you're just an extra in everone else's

Accomplished-Bee4700 , Robert McGowan Report

#17

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.

RepresentativeWay734 , Brooke Cagle Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Niceness, kindness, small random acts, these are one of the things I love about life. Even if they are few and far between. And doing them always feels good so it's a win win ^-^

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#18

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Climate change is an exponential curve and we are entering the shoulder. Natural disasters are expected to increase 8x in the next couple decades. It gets worse after that.

gandhikahn , Chris Gallagher Report

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kristina law
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Phoenix, where 200 people move to every single day. Also, where it will be uninhabitable within 20 years because of the rise in temperatures. Don't move here.

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#19

It just takes a second to destroy what has taken years or even centuries to make.

dexterhines Report

#20

The world is 100% being run by corruption.

FrostFurnace Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read this as "corporation," doubted it, then realized that was probably true too.

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#21

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them War can come to your doorstep, everything can change. No country is immune. History clearly demonstrates this.

SchteeveFour , UX Gun Report

#22

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Not everything happens "for a reason" or because of something you have (or have not) done.

Sometimes, things in life and the Universe go sideways and it's just your time to be caught in the crossfire.

Emcee_Such_N_Such , Ryoji Iwata Report

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Burs
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And please do not go to people in a bad situation and tell them that x “happened for a reason”. It doesn’t matter what you believe. Telling them that their mum just died, they lost they lost their job or they are severely ill “for a reason” is extremely invalidating and rude.

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#23

All your bones are wet right now

Toren8002 Report

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#24

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them If you don’t take care of your teeth when you’re young, you’ll regret it when you’re old. Brush twice a day, goddamnit.

toothfixingfiend , Diana Polekhina Report

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Elmie Pumpkinbush
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#25

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them If you’re chasing a romance or friendship… the other person doesn’t want to be with you.

Magicman2444 , Toa Heftiba Report

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Luise Schofield
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband chased me for ages. I thought he wasn't my type. Turns out he is the best thing that could have happened to me and now we have three beautiful children! Just saying...

ben woskje
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

meh... not me - but ive had a couple of mates who have chased a certain girls for years... finally ended up getting together - and i remember asking the girls "Why?" I was surprised to hear, in both cases "I guess they just wore me down".... one couple went on to get married and are still together, the other didn't last very long... not exactly scientific evidence i know... but it can happen.

chrissy goodman
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

not always i chased after a guy and hes now my husband. if u chase and ur pushy then this is true

Biba Little
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I known this 10 or 15 years ago. True. If you have to chase someone for love, you are losing your precious time. They are not worth it.

Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate shows like "How I met your mother" and rom coms like that with a vengeance for romanticizing and normalizing stalking and harrassment.

Lynne Harbison
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are looking for Mr Perfect, he is looking for Ms Perfect. There is no such thing. Everyone has flaws.

Full Nameю
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's lead to some of the longest relationships & marriages ever. It's earned not given.

Maggie Dinzler Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just be aware, because some people are shy and will show up at the 25th reunion and tell you they loved you, but were too shy to say anything. Sometimes more than one.

Kim Lorton
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And nothing you do will change it… even getting pregnant hoping to force their hand. It just makes a kid you either resent forever or a person that hate you and always will .

Cory Kent
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen lots of married people who did chase someone at least a little at some point.

Riley Quinn
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an utter waste of time. If you can't open yourself up to adventure, chasing someone is just going to cause shortness of breath.

D. Pitbull
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah... pretty much go with the 3 strikes rule with someone new... I'll try to reach out 3 times - if you're rude/offensive/attacking me, even AFTER you've been clearly advised that you were rude/offensive... I just stop. Done. If you realize/decide later on that you behaved badly... *you* can do a reach out.

backatya
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

true and why do men have long hair if they going to put it in a pony tail or man bun?

MAKtheknife
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That being said, Once in a while I'd catch one, and it was fun for a time.

Cydney Golden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And forget proposals ...it should be a mutual conversation, not a question from one person.

Valerie Bowcott
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if you have to listen to them improv on guitar every night, the price is too high.

Jennifer Norton
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh man..... wish someone had told me this when I was younger. I was almost 40 before I found out how easy it is to be with someone when they want to be with you! Hollywood is wrong, you can't wear someone down to be with you.... those relationships never work out long term.

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#26

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You’re not special… but that’s okay because everyone is not special together.

BeechballMusic , Мария Волк Report

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Kari Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish we‘d teach that more. So many peope think they’re special and thus believe they’re entitled to something. You and your wishes/opinions/needs definitely matter, but so do those of everyone else.

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#27

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them The odds that you die tomorrow is wayyy higher than winning on that lottery ticket.

Swiftzword , Erik Mclean Report

#28

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them There's no "health in every size". If you're over/under certain weight limit, you have a higher risk in getting sick. There's no "but-".

cleanbroom , i yunmai Report

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NsG
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish more people understood the concept of "risk". You can totally be 20lb over weight and still be healthy RIGHT NOW. All it means is that you are gambling that you will be healthy tomorrow or next week or next year. It is also not a guarantee. If there is a risk factor that one in ten overweight men will have a heart attack, and you gather nine of your overweight friends you cannot say with complete accuracy which one of you it will be. It is a gamble - some people are happy to gamble, and accept the fact they may lose. But there's a difference between knowing it's a possibility and being scared into thinking it's a certainty.

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#30

You can't make someone love you if they don't

krazekrittermom Report

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Scagsy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a terrible movie trope. Keep pestering and chasing and eventually the other person will fall madly in love with you. Sorry, but it doesn't work like that. You will go to prison for stalking and may find yourself on the receiving end of somebody else's love. You don't want that. You really don't want that.

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#31

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You won’t be young and beautiful forever.

mtn4444 Report

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K. Lange
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that you are getting older doesn't automatically mean that you won't be beautyful anymore. The beauty just changes.

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#32

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them That you need to stop procrastinating and get that thing you've been needing to do done already.

PikaBirb44 , Annie Spratt Report

#33

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Your boyfriend/husband is always going to find other women attractive.

Milkie444 , Caleb George Report

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ur partner will always find other people attractive ( weather they're bf/gf doesn't matter )

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#34

We’ll eventually be alone, so it’s either being comfortable with ourselves or being tormented by loneliness later in life

yuhuhuhuhuhu Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A hard lesson to have to go through. Loneliness is tough but loneliness in old age is not only tough but detrimental for your health too.

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#35

Staying with someone who cheated on you is never a good idea

bluemorphine Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who hurt you, OP, that made you believe this was 100% true for 100% of people 100% of the time? People are complicated. Relationships are complicated. Absolutes about either rarely apply.

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#36

There are some people who just are NOT going to like you. And you will have done nothing to deserve, cause or warrant it. Its not your fault.

tehrealdirtydan Report

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Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There will also be people who dislike you because your actions harmed them. You can apologize, but they are not obligated to forgive you.

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#37

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Your belly button was your old mouth.

Kairosiris , Ben Hershey Report

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

...and, in your pelvis, the coccyx is a small bone of four fused vertebrae that would make up the tail if humans had one.

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#38

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Life is as much unfair and unjust as it is possible for it to be

BrainCelll , Erik Mclean Report

#39

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Oxytocin, the “love hormone”, also increases animosity towards those you regard as “others”

Arcus91 , Zoe Report

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XSpooky_Mint
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It must be from all those dog-gone cocoa beans. By the way, did you guys know that chocolate releases a property which triggers the release of endorphins? Gives one the feeling of being in love.

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#40

It’s not gonna be okay unless you make it okay. I often hear people say: it’s gonna be okay. Well, it’s probably gonna be okay, if you actually put the effort to make it okay. And sometimes, you have to let go, even the big things.

ClassicD*ck Report

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Burs
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. Many things cannot be fixed and pretending that it’s the persons fault is very cruel. A woman whose son just died is not going to be ok, it’s not her fault.

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