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Cold truths are hard to swallow for a reason. They strip us of the illusion that everything’s in our control and that we know things best. But in reality, that’s not how things work, and who likes to be told that?!
“What’s a truth no one wants to hear?” wondered Redditor u/grubbseuph11 on r/AskReddit and people shared some illuminating and brutally honest responses, like the hard-to-digest fact that “friends will come and go,” and that “no matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.”
So let’s get ready to be hit by a cold shower that should make you rethink this whole perspective on our lives, and be sure to check out our previous post with more hard truths right here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
You aren’t a hero or even a good person just because you’re in the military
Natalia Shoemark 4 years ago
American brain washing... "thank you for your service"... I mean, yes, thank you! But war needs to be feared not celebrated!
Biba Little 4 years ago
Especially when you are in military who goes to a war in foreign country which doesn't attack your country in the same way. "Possible threat to world peace" is not the reason to send your armed military troops to some country or drop bombs on said country.
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Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
I think this is the swing back from the Vietnam era, where the public blamed the soldiers and not the politicians who sent them over there. The soldiers were treated horrendously. Since then, I think there's been a realization that maybe we need to treat our troops a bit better. And the pendulum just kept swinging...
miss miss 4 years ago
And I want it to swing to treating them better and preventing suicides
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Ivana 4 years ago
Had a guy harassing me on the street and when I told him to go f himself he started screaming like a nut case about how he was a vet from Iraq and fought for my rights. Dude, my family has fought in every single American War and that does not give them the right to verbally assault other. Dude was a complete asshole.
Aaricia 4 years ago
If he really fought for your rights then he should know you have the right to deny him.
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Serial pacifist 4 years ago
I really don't understand this "thank you for your service" cult. I understand that their lives are on the line every day, but it is a paid job and it has its fair share of bastards on all sides.
Burs 4 years ago
I would understand if they were fighting in their own country to defend it from an attack. But why should anybody thank people that get paid to kill humans in other countries?
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DE Ray 4 years ago (edited)
There's a lot of fetishizing there, not actual respect. For instance, a guy interrupted me to thank me for my service after I mentioned I was in the Air Force, then cussed me when I said that inequality I saw there really brought me to my anti-racist, democratic-socialist views.
Marky Mark 4 years ago
Making US military service members into "Heroes" was a massive marketing undertaking by the US military (and their consultants) as a result of the lessons learned from the Vietnam war. The military realized that a lot of people saw their own military as villains - baby killers who dropped napalm on children, raped and burned villages, etc. This marketing campaign has been vey successful. The US military has had examples horrific misdeeds in Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. but these were quickly suppressed by the public since their "Heroes" can do no wrong.
Tobias Rieper 4 years ago
maybe it is just an American thing we definitely don't have that in the UK I saw someone write once that they are not a hero its just a job they do
Steve R 4 years ago
Yeah, it's an American thing. It's all part of the weird patriotism that also makes (a certain group of them) obsessed with flags, guns, meat, God and boring sports nobody else plays. Thankfully they're not all like that.
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Johnny Lee 4 years ago
I have met some of the most noble, badass, sweethearted people in the military and I have met some who should never be allowed within fifty feet of a weapon. Soldiers are people just like everybody else.
Reynard 4 years ago (edited)
Same thing goes for people who go to church/temple/mosque/misc place of worship. On TV news you sometimes see stories where someone does something terrible and they interview a neighbor who says something like, "but he was a good boy, he always went to church". Being religious does not make you a good person.
Sarah 4 years ago
Agreed! There are heroes in all fields and jerks in all fields. True, I think it takes a certain type of person to enter into a certain job (please no one jump on me about not appreciating people) but, that doesn't necessarily make you a saint. I've known nurses who are spiteful and I've known people in looked-down-upon jobs who are just the best people you will ever meet.
RELATED:
#2
Time doesn't heal wounds, it builds scar tissue.
athornedrose 4 years ago
“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” ― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
#3
You are much closer to being poor and homeless than you are to being super rich
Serial pacifist 4 years ago
Also, I am closer to being a long-term BP commentator than a long-term professional writer 🤷♀️
Ahimsa Soul 4 years ago
Well, we look forward to your first poem, article, shorstory (my favourite genre) or novel, nonetheless 😊
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Andy Acceber 4 years ago
P.S. That means your peer group is closer to the unhoused than the super rich. Stop legislating to protect the hoarding of the super rich, and start legislating to protect the lives of the unhoused.
Sean Harrison 4 years ago
Most people (In the USA at least) are just one or two paychecks away from being evicted and becoming homeless. Housing costs have gotten so high that when you lose your job you burn through your saveings (if you managed to save at all) much faster.
Vasana Phong 4 years ago
Gets more truer in this day and time, the pandemic just pushed it up a notch
In order to find out why exactly it's so hard to swallow a hard truth, and how we should react to it, Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
“When we develop close relationships, we expect those people to be gentle with us, not hurt us,” said Susan explaining why hard truths are not pleasant to hear. “When they offer up a hard truth, it violates the expectation that the person isn't going to cause us pain. We want them to love and encourage us—but we don't always realize that a hard truth is being given to us with love and encouragement, with our best interests in mind.”
#4
Bad people don’t always “get what they deserve”.
ben woskje 4 years ago
+1 This whacky concept that people “get what they deserve” is complete BS. People that are completely useless at their jobs don't eventually get found out - they keep moving around. Corrupt politicians might leave the public eye - but they get a cushy job with one of that mates they made while in power. Conversely, many hard-working, honest etc people will forever get screwed because they didn't have the right family connections, or go to the "right" school or . Its just life... it sucks... but its life.
Al Christensen 4 years ago
This is one of the reasons the concepts of an afterlife where invented. Real life isn't just, so let's have a magical other life where all the bad people are finally punished and the good people rewarded. Yay!
Dori Semenov 4 years ago
I scrolled down to see if someone said the same. Karma or religion helps us get through these situations. I don't believe in either and it does make it hard sometimes.
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Auntriarch 4 years ago
I was talking about my family to a friend with adverse childhood experiences. She blurted out, what did you do to deserve that. I answered, the same as you did to deserve what happened to you - absolutely nothing.
#5
Not all babies are cute.
JOHANNA MUELLER 4 years ago
yes! even like parrot babies, who i think are the cutest ugliest thing alive
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Hazy Egg 4 years ago
My twins were 2 months premature. They looked like some alien species.
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Soleil SanMao 3 years ago
Nah, my son looked like a turtle when he was born. The most beautiful, most precious funniest-looking-est turtle you ever did see, lol. Even he thinks so. He is 14 now. Now he tells me he is a hot-ty, smh.
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Vicky Z 4 years ago (edited)
I was an ugly newborn with lots of hair everywhere and many many years later my mum admitted that when she saw me she thought: this is what i got after all this pain??? I was an adult when she told me and i laughed a lot
Leigh C. 4 years ago
lol I had a similar feeling when I saw my daughter's very prominent birthmark. She was cute otherwise. But the birthmark took me some time to get used to. Eventually it had to be removed out of concerns it turned into a melanoma.
Load More Replies... Ivana 4 years ago
People get really offended by ugly babies but nothing wrong with having an 'ugly' baby. Most are for the first few months. Completely natural and okay. Also, nothing wrong with being ugly in general either. I find neat and well groomed people far more attractive than a good looking person who hasn't showered in 3 days.
The Deez 4 years ago
LOL! My mom always said that if you encounter an ugly baby you can always say, "OH, what a PRECIOUS baby!!" because, really, all babies could be considered "precious"! And, YES, there are some UGLY babies out there! My best friend's daughter looked like an alien until she was, like, three! She was an adorable alien, though!
Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
I disagree. They may not fit everyone's definition of cute or the norm, but just like "ugly" adults. There's nobody truly ugly, everyone is beautiful in their own unique way.
kit kat 4 years ago
Lol that is so not true there are plenty of very ugly looking people
Load More Replies... #6
“I don't know” is a perfectly valid answer to many questions.
Tim Pillinger 4 years ago
I have a professional qualification where you have to have said "sorry, I can't answer that question" to qualify. My boss primed the customer to ask something silly.
Swan 4 years ago
https://association-victimes-coronavirus-france.org/symptomes-persistants-post-covid/vous-navez-rien/ ⠀ ⠀ I can't write the entire article here is would take too many characters but it says (in the best explaining way really it should be read) that when doctors/physists don't know what disease you have they make up one they never say they don't know ⠀ ⠀ READ IT IMPORTANT "physical pain can't be physically seen or explained by the doctor = psychosomatic /// and they even give some medicine for the completion of their fake diagnostic"
Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
I am so tired of "It could be stress". Everything "Could be stress,". Patients have trouble hearing they don't know so they make something up. Ok. You don't know, but hearing you're willing to throw more resources to looking means something. Docs! There's always someone who knows more than you, might make more suggestions on directions to look. I had symptoms that looked like a stroke. Happened 3-4 times. No stroke. No brain tumor. Well, it could be stress. I had to do my own research to discover that what is happening is actually the rarest kind of complex migraine in the world. Hemiplegic migraines. Not stress!
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Caro Caro 4 years ago
This needs to be higher. So many pretending and then putting nonsense on internet...It's dangerous.
J. F. 4 years ago (edited)
Like George Washington said 1533 in Moscow: "Not all the stuff on the Internet is true"
Load More Replies... Jon Steensen 4 years ago
If only more people came to this realisation, they could be lot more productive. Instead we and up with all kind of BS non-working solutions because people are too proud to accept that there will always be things that they do not already know. The US suffered for the last 4 years because a man could not realise/admit that he was not an expert on everything, and ask someone better qualified to assist him. Instead all kinds of non-flying BS was introduced as the solution to all the problems. BIG egos are dangerous!
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
Imagine how boring life would be if there were nothing left to learn. Unanswered questions provide a sense of wonder, imo, as well as plentiful fodder for fiction.
Ahimsa Soul 4 years ago
Google doesn't have all the answers. Not all questions that are answered with "I don't know" have an answer (Will you be free on Sunday?). Just be honest and say you don't know. Look for the answer if it's relevant to you. Sometimes people don't know things because they're not interest in them, and that's not necessarily bad.
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“Often, what someone else calls a ‘hard truth’ we call ‘criticism,’” she said. “If a criticism is true, we can agree and apologize, then work to make it right—or we can ignore and deflect it if it isn't true.”
Moreover, Susan said that when someone we care about delivers a hard truth, we should take that opinion more seriously, because this is a person whose opinion we trust. “I advise my clients to think about the intention behind the message. If the intention is to help us, prevent us from making a mistake, or intervene before we get hurt, it's worthwhile to consider.”
#7
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago (edited)
Mistakes are unavoidable. Failure is unavoidable. We cannot run from it and need to stop being so afraid, because it's ok to not get everything right all the time, and like this says, sometimes it's out if your control
JuJu 4 years ago
Life isn't fair and it owes you nothing. You can be the perfect human being and still get a kick from life every day.
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Marina Bailey 4 years ago
Which episode of TNG is this from? I feel the writer of that episode should be credited.
Sky Render 4 years ago
Peak Performance (S2E21). Hard to believe it was part of the same season that ended in a clip show...
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Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Also, losing doesn't make you a bad person. When others lose, it didn't make them bad people either.
Daria B 4 years ago
Better to fail knowing you tried, than never having experienced anything, forever wondering how it would have been if....
Serial pacifist 4 years ago
It is also possible to make mistakes on every step and come out as a winner if things aline properly. Mistakes are not bad if you learn from them and if you understand that you're not perfect.
Grumble O'Pug 4 years ago
You need to attribute your quote to Captain Picard. He was speaking to Data. The episode: Peak Performance.
Ivana 4 years ago
You can do everything right and still end up with a mountain of debt. You are going to fail a lot in life because your situation is not based on your choices alone, a lot of things that will impact you are far beyond your control.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
We are all (except the 1%) only one or two events away from homelessness/crippling debt. People seem to forget that and pour judgement upon those who have had a worse roll of the dice. The loaded dice, I might add
Load More Replies... #8
Some people are bad parents.
Being funny or smart doesn’t mean you’re ready to take care if a human being (maybe even multiple) for a good chunk of your life.
Please don’t get kids to fix a relationship either, I’ve seen this too much and it doesn’t work.
Rick 4 years ago
I don’t have kids and don’t want them and it’s simply because I don’t want to spend all of my adult life looking after and raising a child, I just want to live my own and not worry about that.
Natalia Shoemark 4 years ago
Good on u! I have 4 and I'm glad I do, but my friends who didn't look so much younger and are so free! Benefits either way!
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Burs 4 years ago
Yeah. And you can be a bad parent and not be bad per se. My mom is a good person but too lazy, doesn’t like social events and hates confrontation. So she wouldn’t take us to the doctor if we needed it (I waited like 6m to go for glasses when I needed them), wouldn’t take us to the park to meet other children or wouldn’t defend us against our verbally abusive father. I like her as a friend but she is a terrible mother. My father is extremely arrogant (he must be right) and dominant and has anger issues, he should have never had children.
A 4 years ago
I know someone who is not a good parent and it's difficult to watch. She loves her kids, but her lack of good parenting instincts is turning her kids into jerks. Endless excuses for their rudeness and bad behaviour, someone else is always to blame, victim mentality etc. Her (teenage) children are obnoxious brats because they have no idea what a consequence is.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
My mother had a friend once who was like that to her kids. Her oldest threw rocks at her once. "Don't do that again." He did it again. "If you do it again, I will punish you." He did it again. She knelt next to him. "Who's mommy's handsome, special boy? I love you so so much!" My mom just gave up at some point soon after that. We just couldn't handle being around her anymore.
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Jon Steensen 4 years ago
To some extend it is tested, but only in the most extreme cases. In some places teenage girls who have overromanticised what being a mom is, and therefore want be become pregnant way too early, are given a robotic baby which they are given the responsibility to take care of for a period. The "baby simulator" is programmed to act like a real baby and for example start crying in the middle of the nigth etc. and the girls must take actions to fulfil their needs like rocking, burbing, feeding etc.
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Caroline Nagel 4 years ago
What kind of horrible coward are you to put the responsibility to save your marriage on a baby?
Octavia Hansen 4 years ago
I love the one where people ask "Who will look after you in old age?" For all my friends with kids, doesn't look like their kids will help them. I'll be in the same home as them, but stories of my adventures will be so much more interesting than their tales of their disappointing kids.
abby smink 4 years ago (edited)
Who? How about the people who's job it is to do so? The people that have been trained and paid? If you're having kids just to have someone to burden with being your caretaker later in life, it's you who's selfish, not me .
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Devil's Advocate 4 years ago
Some good people are bad parents, some bad people are actually good parents. Being a parent is a weird, amazing, fun, soul-destroying, enlightening roller coaster of emotions!
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
The worst I heard was "We're highly intelligent, we owe it to the society to have children". Oh. My. NO! (They didn't. Thank heavens.)
Kayla Albert 4 years ago
I wish more people would realize that kids don't help relationships! They put more strain on a relationship.
#9
Most people genuinely do not care about you or your opinions, which is just fine
troufaki13 4 years ago
Exactly! And the more followers they have, the more they think their opinion is better than anyone else's
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Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
I hope so, I just did my groceries with only one earring in 🤦♀️ I think I'm the only one who cares however, so that's a plus 😆
Load More Replies... Serial pacifist 4 years ago
I find this strangely comforting. It can be stressful when people rely on your opinion to act and think themselves.
Big Blue Cat 4 years ago
IDGAF that they don't care about my opinion, I just wish they would care about facts.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
And that goes for social media “friends”. They’re not actual friends. They won’t come running if you need help. I would rather have a handful of true friends that thousands of fake online “friends”.
Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
Hard to expect others to care about your opinion when we all know we rarely care about the opinions of others
Susan advises asking yourself if the "hard truth" is really true. “Be brutally honest with yourself—remember why your loved one brought it up to you in the first place!”
“It's beneficial to hear a hard truth when we're hurting someone else, hurting ourselves, or not being true to our values,” she explained and added: “So situations that look like that would be drug/alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse, bad financial or career decisions, or dating someone married if you're religious.”
#10
No matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.
Caro Caro 4 years ago
This is very true, some become very insecure if others don't like them. So what if someone dislikes you .. why do you care.
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Vicky Z 4 years ago
I'm happy that I've reached to a point where i don't care about the ones who don't like me
Caro Caro 4 years ago
I also think this has to do with becoming more mature.
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Ian Bartels 4 years ago
I have a hard time with this one. I don't know who doesn't like me, but knowing people out there don't like it bothers me.
Aria Whitaker 4 years ago
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” ---Dita Von Teese
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David Nelson 4 years ago
The opposite is true, no matter how unlikable you are some people will actually like you.
Julianne Hannes 4 years ago
Sometimes its for random things or just because you make them feel inferior or just have different opinions and interests.
#11
Most people shouldn’t have kids.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
When you look at the impact of 7 billion humans at a time on the surface of the planet, yeah. This is probably true.
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
The Earth can support a lot more, doesn't mean we should considered how we produce energy and litter.
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magpookie1133 4 years ago
Sadly, the people who should have kids don't want to, but the people who shouldn't have kids keep having them even though they can't support them.
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
Not real sure about this one. Most people I know probably shouldn't have kids but I do know a lot of good parents too. I love my kids and couldn't imagine life without them. I at least assume I was a good parent. At 22, 25, and 26, my kids still love me and we have a very close relationship. Did I let them fail and suffer consequences, yes. But that's how they learn.
Ivo H 4 years ago
That's great! I agree with you more than with OP. But one thing to add - you can never know if you'll be good parent until you are one (until there's anything that's evident, as agresivity, drug problems etc.). You are never born parent and once you are one, it's usualy too late to just change your mind. The only thing that is left is just to try your hardest and loving and caring about your children, being the best parent you could ever be. Hell I don't know if I'm good parent and I have 2 little children already :D I'm just trying my very best. And last thing - considering the close relationship with your children in their age speaks for itself. You're obviously great, hopefully I'll be too one day! <3
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Scagsy 4 years ago
My wife and I can't have kids which is sad, but at least we're doing the world a favour by not introducing another little consumer into it.
TheBlackPanda (JustABlackBear) 4 years ago
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Kurt Mckenney 4 years ago
No, a horrible minority of parents make others look bad. Just because your parents were awful does not make everyone else that way.
Chris Zaydel 4 years ago
Here in Baltimore, thats easily 25% of the population. Our crime rate is directly feed by people having kids without the emotional or financial ability to do it properly.
Jennifer Norton 4 years ago
This is a huge one. Life is not a check list! You don't have to accomplish the same things as others. Seriously!!!!!
#12
Having a University degree doesn't guarantee you a job
Burs 4 years ago
Yes. For example it’s almost impossible to get a job doing scientific research without contacts. All phds are rigged.
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Full Name 4 years ago
Also, NOT having a college degree doesn't guarantee you'll live in poverty. I didn't graduate college, but I found that I have a skill in a niche field that pays well. College isn't for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with learning a trade. The world is severely lacking tradespeople.
MikeWheelerFan 4 years ago
Yes! We need more tradespeople but we’ve glorified college so much that everybody wants to go!
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Caro Caro 4 years ago (edited)
Aaaaand having a degree doesn't put you above others who don't. I hate those who scream "how would you know, I have a phd bla bla every time you disagree with them on every topic (not just their expertise of course duh).
Jon Steensen 4 years ago
It really depends on the topic. If you have a degree in something, you realise how much crap and nonsense there is out there being stated by someone who does not have the most basic idea about how things work. If you put in the efford, you actually learn something in those years you spend at a university, which will probably give you some skills that the average person may think he can match, but that is only due to him not knowing what there is to know on that topic. For that reason it is better to consult a doctor than your mother, when it comes to aquire information about how to treat an illness. Saying "Who cares about your education" on that matter can end up being deadly. On the other hand a ph.d. only give you special skills within a very narrow topic, so just because you are wise in that regard does not automatically mean that you know what there is to know regarding other issues.
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Brian Bennett 4 years ago
And sometimes it stupidly does! I worked in a lab for a number of years (no degree) was trained by a microbiologist learned lab protocols sterile procedures etc. Job opening came along, applied rejected because this fellow had a university degree found out later his degree was in GEOGRAPHY! He was hired because he was a "yes" man. Known to day as an ass kisser!
Caro Caro 4 years ago
That's terrible Brian. Personally I would go for the experience, more hands on than someone who's knowledge is from books only and fresh out of school. Aaaand I hate ass kissers.
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Helen Haley 4 years ago
Yup, can't even get an interview for almost any position, entry level, admin, whatever, without a college degree.
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Madison Warner 4 years ago
Which is why I do not do college, I'm not gonna go through 4-10 years of bullshit just to be in the same place I am now anyway, f**k no
Caro Caro 4 years ago
I get this. I once had the choice but thought, hang on ... it won't get me higher up the corporate ladder so sod it. Started my own business instead.
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#13
Life will never be exactly like it was before the pandemic started.
Gelato Cat 4 years ago
After the 1918 influenza epidemic came the roaring 20's which was revolutionary for both the arts and society, a similar thing happened with the renaissance, so who knows, maybe it will never be the same again for the better ( for those who have lost jobs/loved ones to Covid i am not minimising ur suffering)
Deutschland Mädchen 4 years ago
Well, it kind of taught some businesses that they really can operate from home and therefore they didn't need their huge office building which can now be used for some other purpose. There’s also a more strict policy I think on coming to work or school sick. Before Covid, you went unless you had a fever. Now those with allergies that provoke congestion and stuff are staying home just in case. I think that Covid has taught us more on how to stay healthy and safe, some people just aren't accepting it.
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Serial pacifist 4 years ago (edited)
Life will not be the same after WWII...life will not be the same after the Vietnam War...life will not be the same after the fall of communism...life will not be the same after 9/11. Life is never the same, we just use these milestones to define some general turning points, and even that is not necessarily true for many people.
Tabitha Martel 4 years ago
This is a super important point I wish I could upvote it more! The only constant is change. And we use major events as milestones for easy time keeping and sure they may have bigger immediate influence but wheels have always been in motion.
Load More Replies... Steve R 4 years ago
No, it's helped lots of us realise how dumb huge parts of society are when it comes to simple things like getting an injection, wearing a mask, or staying indoors when there's a plague happening. Covid has taught us... there are too many idiots. Although less than before Covid.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
"Get back to how it was." 4.5 million people have died. Whenever I hear this, I think how fortunate that person must be not to have felt the personal loss.
AngelWingsYT 4 years ago
We lost million of lives across earth....millions of ppl family friends young n old gone for good...thats terrifying and thats in just 1-2 years
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WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
And most people still do not realise or want to accept that Covid is going to be a clear and present danger for years to come because of the fast way it mutates.
alwaysMispelled 4 years ago
Because of how quickly it mutates BECAUSE not enough people have gotten vaccinated to reduce its spread. If enough people had gotten vaccinated initially the delta variant wouldn't be what it is today, if it would exist at all
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Burs 4 years ago
Sadly it won’t change as much as it should. I was hoping that if we could get some things improved thanks to the pandemic it would be more flexibility at work/study and being able to do it online, better hygiene and the use of masks if you are sick. But things are just going back to normal.
Draga Millani 4 years ago
for better or worse, it is a big part of history. Of course it will never be the same.
Kurt Mckenney 4 years ago
it won't be the same as before breakfast either. This is not profound.
Tree_Captain 4 years ago
Well obviously, life's always changing. It'll become basically irrelevant at some point however; we've had more severe pandemics and they didn't have an eternal mark on history. Never before have we had effective vaccines be produced this quickly - meaning we'll be able to goet back to normal quicker. Life will basically go back to normal eventually.
#14
You can't run from yourself. Moving towns, cities or even countries won't automatically change who you are
JuJu 4 years ago
This should be way higher. It's important to be at peace with yourself otherwise you will never be happy.
Caro Caro 4 years ago
So true. If you can't stand yourself, how can others?
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Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Nope, but I did run from some scary family members, and it did reduce my stress! (I find 450 miles to be just right.)
CHRIS DOMRES 4 years ago
Sure does change you! I was always depressed living in Buffalo where I grew up. I thought it was normal. I moved to Florida and my depression vanished! Turned out to be lack of vitamin D from the lack of sunlight. in Buffalo seven months of the year.
Tenacious Squirrel 4 years ago
It won’t automatically but for so many people travelling, living abroad, being adventurous in new places, can all be very freeing and bring about great change. It can have a huge impact on someone’s life, it did on mine and most people I met who were in the same boat :-)
Daria B 4 years ago
Seeing more of the world surely does broaden one's point of view. And we've seen the negative cultural impact of a general lack of travelling due to the pandemic. It's important to gain experience. Sadly, not everyone can afford it, though.
Load More Replies... Daria B 4 years ago
Yes and no. Depends where you grew up. Moving from a small European city, where everyone knows you for who you were in your childhood, straight into a world metropolis like Seoul, where there's too many people and too many things going on for people to mind other people's businesses, has helped me develop into who I really am.
Aditya Dash 4 years ago
I disagree, If I could move to a developed nation. I could find a minimum wage job which is most of the time a respectable job and start better financial decisions and there by improving myself character and finance wise. But in a developing country and and population in billion range, its extremely difficult. You immediate environment and mental state due to that enviroment has a lot of impact on the direction you go.
Al Christensen 4 years ago
I had become and angry and depressive person and eventually realized it was largely because I hated where I lived. I left and the anger and depression are gone. Maybe you can't run from yourself, but you can be in situations that crush your true self, in which case you should run.
rumade 4 years ago
This is true, but a new place and new perspectives can help you change. Moving to Japan and experiencing what it's like to live as a migrant with limited language skills, not having friends and family to rely on, having to really try with things outside of comfort zone; all changed me massively. Moving to the countryside from the city gave me a chance to get back to myself and find peace.
#15
Friends will come and go. You will have many friends who one day you will never see again.
K. Lange 4 years ago
and you will often learn it the hard way: when you would need them the most - they will disappear.
Burs 4 years ago
Sadly it tends to be the more needy ones. The best friends that would call you every week to cry about her boyfriend, or about their family or job. Sucking emotional support. But when they are needed they go away.
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Sergio Bicerra 4 years ago
Right. I have friends, close family, family, bros, coworkers and acquaitances. The third latter come and go and thats fine. The first two hurt when the go.
Load More Replies... Full Name 4 years ago
True, genuine friends stay. The best man in my wedding and godfather to my son is my best friend that I've known since I was 8 years old (I'm 44). My wife's two closest friends were from middle school. I know this isn't necessarily the norm. But regardless of when you met them, if you can go through life with at least one or two "true" friends, then consider yourself a success.
FABULOUS1 4 years ago
I tell my daughter all the time, while its a great thought to want to have friends to grow old with. It is also okay to move on from people you were friends with in high school. People grow and go in different directions, and that is okay. Also if that friend was messy in HS they are possibly still a messy adult and its okay to move on.
Lynne Harbison 4 years ago
True friends won't let you down. I have a few...64 years, 52 years, 49 years, 40 years, 17 years, 9 years. Always there for me, and I for them. All of us have had trying times, but we know who we can rely on. Others disappear.
Edison Michael 4 years ago
This one is the hardest lesson for me. I had some amazing friends but time and time again, life took us apart and I had to start anew. Now I find it almost Impossible to truly throw myself and make really deep connections and new friends, because it feels like a repeat. I'm kinda terrible at making new friends.
Warren Spellman 4 years ago
For most faithful souls, your best friend is God. Your family can be, and hopefully, should be among your best friends. Too many Americans have invested far too much emotional effort and energy into acquaintances that often drift away. Build your friendship house on solid rock, your God and family.
TheartfulDutchGinger 4 years ago (edited)
I guess maybe it depends also on who you choose as a friend. I've got 5 friends who i know for 25+ years. Only two of them i wont see again in this life,since 1 died a few years ago and another died a few months back. And I have 6 'newer' friends, that i've known for 8 to 18 years. But i'm also very choosy on who i consider a friend though.
#16
You are the main character in your life but you're just an extra in everone else's
Burs 4 years ago
I am not sure. I feel that most people is so self entered that don’t have any other main cast except themselves.
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Yoga Kitty 4 years ago
Then you have to finally become the star of your show! You are the most important person in your life, that's a fact - without you, it would not even take place at all!
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Yoga Kitty 4 years ago
... especially if you are currently located on a spaceship or about to be beamed to an unknown planet....
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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
The older I get, the more I’m finding out that some people I’ve totally forgotten about remember me right away if we run into each other. Some have told me that some small piece of advice I forgot I gave them helped them out a lot. It was totally by accident I ran into each of these people and found all this out. But it proves that each of us have more of an effect on people we spent even a short amount of time with than we can ever realize. Maybe if we concentrate on making positive impressions whenever possible, we could maybe turn all the s**t that’s going on completely around. Worth a try, at least.
Biba Little 4 years ago
It doesn't matter, you still need to be main charcter in your own life.
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 4 years ago
I could argue against that. There are plenty of people around me that are main characters in my life. Some of them don’t even know I exist, but they’re important to me.
#17
It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Niceness, kindness, small random acts, these are one of the things I love about life. Even if they are few and far between. And doing them always feels good so it's a win win ^-^
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
I like this. My mum always says “Do as you would be done by.” meaning treat others as you’d want to be treated.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
Sorry, but no. It's nice to be important and it's nice to be nice! It's important to have manners and boundaries! If people push those boundaries then you are under no obligation top be nice about it, sure, be polite in the first instance but you do not need to be nice after that.
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 4 years ago (edited)
Do not put your faith, In a cape and a hood. They will not protect you, The way that they should. And take extra care with strangers, Even flowers have their dangers. And though scary is exciting, Nice is different than good.
Daria Z 4 years ago
It is indeed important when being nice is valued in the society, but it may not be the case everywhere. For example, I grew up in one where it was considered weakness (Russia, 1990s).
Joy 4 years ago
I read how in Russia people rarely smile at each other. There's no animosity, but in retail or customer service, Russians don't feel the need to smile or grin. Is this true?
Load More Replies... #18
Climate change is an exponential curve and we are entering the shoulder. Natural disasters are expected to increase 8x in the next couple decades. It gets worse after that.
kristina law 4 years ago (edited)
I live in Phoenix, where 200 people move to every single day. Also, where it will be uninhabitable within 20 years because of the rise in temperatures. Don't move here.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 4 years ago
It'll be way before 20 years. Phoenix doesn't have enough water rights and the aquifer underneath it is almost gone. They have lied to themself and think CAP can sustain them but when the tap literally stops, Phoenix will die. There's a difference between reduced water from the Colorado River and having both the Salt and Verde Rivers go dry. Those giant salt flats that give the Salt its name - caused by a centuries long drought in a desert location.
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Serial pacifist 4 years ago
And vaccines actually protect you from diseases just like reducing CO2 emissions protects us from becoming extinct.
Biba Little 4 years ago
Tell that to rich and powerful people who run companies that pollute the most. We all here have hardly any influence on global pollution, no one asks me if they should dump their toxic waste into rivers or oceans, and no one care I am against deforesting or animal slaughter factories or heavy polluters that create plastic, fast fashion or other toxic waste. They just don't care and we are too small to do anything. So, statements like this are just depressing as we are going to suffer not super rich aholes who did that.
Stefania Eisner-Kaloudis 4 years ago
Question : Really ? So is climate change to blame for the volcano erruption in Las palmas or is it the other way round ????
Calvin DiBartolo 4 years ago
Volcanoes have caused rapid climate change in the past, yes. But...... It also historically hasnt ended well for life when it happens at such a rate that evolution can't adapt quickly enough. Small, rapidly breeding lifeforms may survive. But humans are fairly slow at it.
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Rebecca Surette 4 years ago
If I were of childbearing years right now, I would NOT have children. No way.
Thomas Sweda 4 years ago
I thought you were going to say that you can’t drive a car under water.
Full Nameю 4 years ago
They are spiritual not natural. You're only looking at the outcome not the source.
#19
It just takes a second to destroy what has taken years or even centuries to make.
L hill 4 years ago
First thing i thought if was when the taliban blew up ancient relics.
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Emmydearest 4 years ago
Like Sunday lunch with family: it takes the whole morning to cook and bake and it's all gone in 20 minutes...
#20
The world is 100% being run by corruption.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
I read this as "corporation," doubted it, then realized that was probably true too.
ejfs 4 years ago
I agree. Money is in control of everything, and only a few people have that money, and they will do everything they can to keep that money.
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Ivana 4 years ago
I majored in political science and people ask me if I think there is an illuminati situation where the powerful rule the world and control everything. I am always like "Nah man, they are pretty open that they rule the world and control everything. Not like they have to hide it. We see it everyday in the news and society at large and we know there is nothing we can do about it." We all know big corporations and the wealthy are destroying the environment but we blame ourselves and walk around with incredible guilt over forgetting our reusable bags at home.
Serial pacifist 4 years ago
I am sure that's not so. Let me offer you 10 bucks to change this statement.
Jim Wamsley 4 years ago
No - corruption gets caught and dismembered regularly. There are lots of honest people, keeping civility alive.
Lou Cam 4 years ago
Yes, all the 1% club and the wannabe's get where they arevby trampling over everyone else. Politicians get into politics to further their own business interests and every little decision made is something that benefits them personally. In Western societies it is hidden and goes on behind the scenes but happens surely as much as what we consider blatant corruption in developing countries. At least there it's out in the open and expected.
Jeremy Goldstein 4 years ago
Governments are just corrupt corporations finding more ways to make people slaves to the system
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
It sure feels like it sometimes. But, oddly, good always manages to float back to the top again.
KimB 4 years ago
Dude you are so right about that...got our entire elderly population feeding their greed they charge hundreds sometimes thousand for drugs that cost pennies to make!
Load More Replies... #21
War can come to your doorstep, everything can change. No country is immune. History clearly demonstrates this.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
I could, but there was a scarlet fever outbreak at my elementary school, and we had the district on lockdwon. It was just called common sense to stop the infection from spreading. Which it did.
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Thomas Sweda 4 years ago
And we in the U. S. need to remember that no country has ever been “on top” forever!
Serial pacifist 4 years ago
I know this very well (unfortunately), coming from a rather developed mid-European country that has gone through too many wars in recent times.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
steps to eliminate war. 1. mind your own business 2. ensure everyone has a decent quality of life.
Jyri Hakola 4 years ago
And march happily to siberia if your neighhbor happens to annex you while minding your own bussines…. No thanks.
Load More Replies... Warren Spellman 4 years ago
Democracies have a fatal tendency to think that war will never come. A form of denial to not acknowledge that evil really exists, and evil killers really exist. So they fail to prepare and when war comes, in a fury, they are bewildered and want someone to SAVE ME. It has happened so many times in history.....most recently in Eastern Europe, France in WWII, America currently, and the totalitarians are always willing to destroy everything to gain power, such as Venezuela, Nazi Germany, Stalin's Russia, Mao in Red China, Pol Pot in Cambodia, Idi Amin in Uganda, Castro in Cuba. Democracies must be vigilant, or be destroyed in surprise attacks.
Full Nameю 4 years ago
Just shows how evil Government is. Before my neighbor starts the next war. Said nobody ever. Unless it's the imbecile at the White House.
#22
Not everything happens "for a reason" or because of something you have (or have not) done.
Sometimes, things in life and the Universe go sideways and it's just your time to be caught in the crossfire.
Burs 4 years ago
And please do not go to people in a bad situation and tell them that x “happened for a reason”. It doesn’t matter what you believe. Telling them that their mum just died, they lost they lost their job or they are severely ill “for a reason” is extremely invalidating and rude.
Tanya Venter 4 years ago
If one more person say something "happened for a reason" I will punch them.
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WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Things do happen without any reason at all and people try to explain it away by making idiotic claims like "It's Karma." or "God works in wondrous and mysterious ways." But that's nonsense. Sometimes things just happen without any cause, reason or justification. Bad things happen to good and bad people. And you can't change that.
Jeannine Pope 4 years ago
I have been both a hospital and hospice chaplain for a decade-and-a-half. Sayings like "happened for a reason" or "God needs another angel" are the WORST kind of theology. I will usually bristle in front of some moronic individiual who is saying that in front of someone having one of the worst days-of-their lives. For a lot of illness or injury you can see all of the links connect to the end we are at. Knowing it still does not help. What is more helpful is to say to people of faith that we all share in the pain of loss, even God. God doesn't need to take your loved one to gain a new believer. God is with you holding you for comfort. For non-believers, you remind them of their community that is here with them. They are there to hold onto them for comfort. During attempted or completed suicides, I remind people of how much pain the person was in to choose to leave their lives and those around them. Then we can be more compassionate for the pain and I pray for anyone there.
Pat Head 4 years ago
I don't know who originally said it, but it should go like this... "Everything happens. It's our responsibility to give reason to it".
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
If you learn from what happens to you and use that knowledge, then you can say there was a "reason" for what happened. It won't happen if you don't make some effort.
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
What do you learn from being the victim of a random drive by shooting?
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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Accidents happen. Sometimes everybody or nobody is at fault. We can’t always control everything. S**t happens.
sofacushionfort 4 years ago
According to Stoic philosophy, the universe is random and capricious. But this does not at all negate our responsibility to how we react to it. You didn’t cause the pandemic, but you did choose to wear a mask and not hoard groceries.
Brian Leahy 4 years ago
For a reason? Yes. A profound, meaningful or fateful reason - that makes it all for the best? Nope.
Colin L 4 years ago
The funny thing is that this statement is true in a literal sense but not the metaphorical sense that they mean. There isn't a cosmic plan or purpose, but physical and chemical cause and effect exist. I will also say that "God never gives you more than you can handle" is offensive beyond measure... ask any of the thousands of veterans who committed suicide. *Everyone* needs help at some point, and asking for it doesn't make you weak or selfish.
#23
All your bones are wet right now
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Are baby teeth bones? Cause if so, my bones are 98% wet and 2% forgotten in a drawer somewhere.
Serial pacifist 4 years ago
You produce about 40,000 liters of spit in your lifetime. It is enough spit to fill some 500 bathtubs.
KimB 4 years ago
Don't forget "snot" we swallow about a gallon a month...although I feel like I swallow a gallon a day with my allergies lol
Load More Replies... ejfs 4 years ago
My extracted wisdom teeth sitting in a little jar on my bookcase might disagree slightly.
#24
If you don’t take care of your teeth when you’re young, you’ll regret it when you’re old. Brush twice a day, goddamnit.
Terilee Bruyere 4 years ago
I agree, somewhat. Oral hygiene definitely helps but, some people do just have bad teeth. Several of my daughter's teeth have fallen apart despite brushing/flossing/rinsing twice daily. Defective enamel.
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Sean Harrison 4 years ago
I brushed, flossed, and went to the dentist regularly and still lost 3 of my back teeth, have a crown on the last remaining one and need a crown on another tooth. Sometimes no matter what you do, you just have bad teeth.
Stephanie Did It 4 years ago
Dental care starts with parents. Children have to be taught how to make it a habit. I was given a toothbrush as a child and shown how to use it, and that was all. By age 14 my gums were bleeding. No one took me to the dentist for checkups or braces. I would be a different person today if I had a nice white smile and straight teeth. It's ruined my self confidence all my life.
#25
If you’re chasing a romance or friendship… the other person doesn’t want to be with you.
Luise Schofield 4 years ago
My husband chased me for ages. I thought he wasn't my type. Turns out he is the best thing that could have happened to me and now we have three beautiful children! Just saying...
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
The only thing I chase is my dog in a rain storm. Man that did loves the rain.
ben woskje 4 years ago
meh... not me - but ive had a couple of mates who have chased a certain girls for years... finally ended up getting together - and i remember asking the girls "Why?" I was surprised to hear, in both cases "I guess they just wore me down".... one couple went on to get married and are still together, the other didn't last very long... not exactly scientific evidence i know... but it can happen.
chrissy goodman 4 years ago
not always i chased after a guy and hes now my husband. if u chase and ur pushy then this is true
Biba Little 4 years ago
I wish I known this 10 or 15 years ago. True. If you have to chase someone for love, you are losing your precious time. They are not worth it.
Nadine Bamberger 4 years ago
I hate shows like "How I met your mother" and rom coms like that with a vengeance for romanticizing and normalizing stalking and harrassment.
Lynne Harbison 4 years ago
If you are looking for Mr Perfect, he is looking for Ms Perfect. There is no such thing. Everyone has flaws.
#26
You’re not special… but that’s okay because everyone is not special together.
Kari Panda 4 years ago
I wish we‘d teach that more. So many peope think they’re special and thus believe they’re entitled to something. You and your wishes/opinions/needs definitely matter, but so do those of everyone else.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
We are not special to everyone, but we are special to someone.
Caro Caro 4 years ago
That's nicely put Foxxy. Like you are special to your so and kids and to me !
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
You’re not special, but that doesn’t mean you have no worth. You do. Because everyone has potential. You just never know what may be the catalyst for your worth to be expressed. You might do great things. You might become a respected doctor. You might end up in the right place at the right time to save lives, or a life that goes on to do great things. You might inspire the one person who will bring peace, or cure disease, or end hunger and poverty. Or you might just turn out to be a wonderful spouse and parent, and raise your children to be wonderful people. You just never know.
Draga Millani 4 years ago
I deeply believe that we are all special in our own way, it just doesn't make us entitled.
#27
The odds that you die tomorrow is wayyy higher than winning on that lottery ticket.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
The way to look at all gambling is as something you try once, once in a while, and on a small scale. If you lose, oh well that’s the chance you took. If you win, do anything you want with it EXCEPT put it into another bet. That’s just tempting fate—-and the way that a gambling addiction could start.
Jyri Hakola 4 years ago
You do not need even a calculator for that. Most of us has well under 4000 weeks left in our lives before death eventually wins the game
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okpkpkp 4 years ago
My ex-wife who had three kids, one was mine, would play the Irish Sweepstakes every month, wasting her money and the kids' money (and MY child support payments) chasing a stupid dream. She ended up fleecing other women for $30,000 with a Ponzi scheme and got a felony record.
#28
There's no "health in every size". If you're over/under certain weight limit, you have a higher risk in getting sick. There's no "but-".
NsG 4 years ago (edited)
I wish more people understood the concept of "risk". You can totally be 20lb over weight and still be healthy RIGHT NOW. All it means is that you are gambling that you will be healthy tomorrow or next week or next year. It is also not a guarantee. If there is a risk factor that one in ten overweight men will have a heart attack, and you gather nine of your overweight friends you cannot say with complete accuracy which one of you it will be. It is a gamble - some people are happy to gamble, and accept the fact they may lose. But there's a difference between knowing it's a possibility and being scared into thinking it's a certainty.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Twenty pounds is do-able, particularly if it's muscle, but past that you're definitely rolling dice over time. Bear in mind that muscle weighs more than fat, and so two people th e same weight can have utterly different physiques and different bloodwork.
Load More Replies... Serial pacifist 4 years ago
So true, there is a difference between rejecting unrealistic beauty standards and rejecting the fact that being overweight is a serious health hazard.
Burs 4 years ago
Same with underweight people. If you chose to only criticise one side you are just doing it for the looks and not the health.
Load More Replies... Jon Steensen 4 years ago (edited)
weight alone is a poor measure of state of health, even if you also use the person's height in the calculation. What is important is how much fat you have accumulated, and though it is reflected in your weight it is not the only thing influencing it. E.g. there is a major difference between a bodybuilder and a gamer weighing 120kg. On the bodybuilder it is likely to be high muscular mass raising his weight, whereas it may be fat on the gamer. Likwise waist size can be a bad measure, as it also depends on bone structure. E.g. having a narrow pelvis padded with a lot of fat is worse than having a wide pelvis, though the measuring tape may read the same value in the two cases. Looking at weight alone is therefore a bad measure, we should look at body fat percentage instead, though it is harder to measure.
NsG 4 years ago
Also, for women, breasts are a factor - a pure accumulation of fat, the size of which are determined as much by factors outside our control as in it. I have C cups, my friend is pushing G. We're the same size and (boobs aside) about the same build. She's heavier than me, and has a higher body fat percentage, purely because genetics gave her bigger boobs. Is she less healthy than me?
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Burs 4 years ago
This is true but there is two things to remember. First being underweight is as bad as overweight. Media has made us think that a healthy body is an underweight one and that’s ridiculous. Being at the end of the healthy bmi is considered a sin nowadays but being in the underweight one is considered attractive. That’s not good. Second not everybody can achieve a healthy weight or has many difficulties to do so. For example if you are very ill you might be unable to gain or lose weight.but people will judge them as if they are just lazy.
Helen Haley 4 years ago
What sucks is the people who throw the most shade are always the people who if they eat reasonably and exercise for 30 minutes 3x a week, they're magically fit and within an attractive body range. Then you have people who (thank you genetics) can make their weight their second job, strictly measuring everything they eat, following doctor recommendations, live at the gym, and see negligible to no return. Having the self-righteous spout hatred at people who aren't willing to give up the majority of their free time and money to a beauty standard, they aren't helping, they're just being jerks. I watched this happen to my step-aunt and grandma for their hole lives. I saw the toll that it took. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, and weight doesn't make someone unworthy as a person. No matter if it is under-weight, over-weight, or 'just comes naturally' ideal weight.
Load More Replies... Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Sure there is. It just says "health." We don't tell men over 55 that they can no longer be healthy because now they're at increased risk for prostate cancer. They can understand their increased risk AND be as healthy as possible. Ditto everyone at any weight.
Evan Martin 4 years ago
Your just playing semantics. Yes you can be obese and be as healthy as possible. Still doesn't make you as healthy as you could potentially be, and you have an increased risk of certain ailments (hence making you less healthy).
Load More Replies... tuzdayschild 4 years ago
I have been more than 20 lbs over weight since I was 10 years old. My cardio is good, I am in no danger of diabetes. I see a doctor twice per year. I will never be thin. I'm fine. This is just me.
Caro Caro 4 years ago
Tuzdayschild: 20lbs is nothing, now you made me jealous ...
Load More Replies... Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago (edited)
You could be the ideal size and still be unhealthy and have a high risk getting sick. Size is not always an indicator of general health. You can eat crap, put on no weight and develop coronary artery disease, diabetes, fatty liver etc just like an obese person has a higher risk of. Unhealthy is unhealthy. The difference is that everyone seems to have no issues pointing it out to overweight/obese people but they keep their mouths shut about unhealthy ideal weight or underweight.
Eddard Tyrsson 4 years ago
The term "skinny fat" and eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia would like a word with you. The thing is nobody is trying to defend skinny fat, and using underweight as an excuse to defend and normalize overweight. "Would you rather they be the opposite extreme?" No, of course not. Nor does exhibit a erase or excuse exhibit b or c. Platitudes built on whataboutism are not arguments. If you want to bring rationality to the table, understand that rational people know you can be unhealthy at a normal weight, and there's nothing healthy about underweight.
Load More Replies... meester sernnon 4 years ago
I understand this well, i'm very skinny (6ft and 65-75~ kilos) and people say I must be fit and healthy because i'm not fat. I just can't get any fat on me, and it may be unhealthy and not everyone believes me sadly.
Sarah 4 years ago
I can think of a "but". "But" it is no one's place but your doctor and those closest to you to discuss this with you or bring it up. WAY too many complete strangers think they can comment on someone's weight, under the guise of being concerned for their health. You don't give a fig about their health. You don't even know that person. You just wanted an excuse to comment on their weight.
Sylvanticx 4 years ago
body positivity is good, but if you are at increased risk of something, you MUST do what is humanly possible to mitigate that risk
Caro Caro 4 years ago (edited)
I agree. Do what you can to lose (or gain) weight no matter the excuses. With that I mean if you are overweight because of over eating (no matter why, trauma, whatever) you should do your best. The healthcare at the moment is getting too expensive and being obese is one of these factors that make it so. Weight has more bad influence than just your heart and liver. Your body doesn't always react to meds the right way (just like a smoker may I add), My doctor told me this (when he told me to lose weight while looking over his glasses).
Load More Replies... #29
People will hurt you
Serial pacifist 4 years ago
...And you will probably hurt other people and have to cope with it. It happens, we grow and evolve and realize things later on and hopefully learn from it...
Jon Steensen 4 years ago
I can live with that as long as it is not done on purpose. Mistakes happens, and things get misunderstood, that is just part of life. But when people start to hurt you on purpose, or they just no longer care that their actions cause you harm, then something need to be taken up for discussion/evalutation.
Jesus Christ 4 years ago
What some people think the world will treat them like : "OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WANNA GO TO THE MOVIES AND GET A TRASHBAG OF POPCORN AND WE WILL BE FRIENDS FOR-EVAAAAAAAA?"
Jaybird3939 4 years ago
Too many times. Unfortunately, I don't trust anyone, long term friend or not.
#30
You can't make someone love you if they don't
Scagsy 4 years ago
This is a terrible movie trope. Keep pestering and chasing and eventually the other person will fall madly in love with you. Sorry, but it doesn't work like that. You will go to prison for stalking and may find yourself on the receiving end of somebody else's love. You don't want that. You really don't want that.
Mirek Hotový 4 years ago (edited)
Hmm.. then explain my life where this happened. Doesn't it feel at least a bit too ignorant to preach something doesn't exist just because YOU didn't experience it afar? It's just this sick society where genuine interest is perceived as stalking. Well sad all you, I feel compassion for you.
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sofacushionfort 4 years ago
A bad thing if they’re your crush, but tragic if they’re your parent.
Ellen Ranks 4 years ago
Very true. I've been on both sides of this. Very uncomfortable when someone tries to make this happen.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
actually the science is against this. statistically speaking if you are regularly exposed to another person's company the chances of falling for them is much higher, and vice versa. this is obvious. the question is just about how you go about inserting your company. --- "Although that seems obvious, it’s also really important. There are about 7 billion people in the world, and you are only going to have the opportunity to meet a tiny fraction of those people before you marry. This also means that you are likely to marry someone who’s pretty similar to you because, unless you travel widely, most of the people you meet are going to share at least part of your cultural background and therefore have some of the values that you hold. In fact, the person you marry probably will live in the same city as you, attend the same school, take similar classes, work in a similar job and be similar to you in other respects (Kubitschek & Hallinan, 1998)."
Ellen Ranks 4 years ago
Makes sense that the chance you fall in love with somebody who you see on a regular basis is bigger. But being around someone does not MAKE them love you,
Load More Replies... Soleil SanMao 3 years ago
I told my now ex husband that he didn't love me. He said I was crazy. I told him, I was crazy for putting up with his psychological abuse in the hopes that he would love and appreciate me. He was 10 yrs older than me and I gave him much too much credit for being wiser. He was very socially and emotionally immature. I see it now. When in actuality he was taking advantage of the love I had for him. Wanting to work things out, not being confrontational and loving him. he asked me after our divorce if we could still be friends. I asked him, would you want to be friends with someone like you? And I walked away. Idiot.
#31
You won’t be young and beautiful forever.
K. Lange 4 years ago
that you are getting older doesn't automatically mean that you won't be beautyful anymore. The beauty just changes.
Ray_gunn 4 years ago
Sadly it changes into a form that is completely invisible in a culture that worships youth.
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TheBlackPanda (JustABlackBear) 4 years ago
Youth doesn't always equal beauty. Some people become more beautiful after their young years
October 4 years ago
Don't despair. Middle age took a lot of my beauty but gave a lot of self confidence (and better sex than in my youth).
MoMcB 4 years ago
Exactly. I'm a lot happier in my skin than I was at 20.
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 4 years ago
No problems with losing my looks, not much to lose! Now I'm just happy in my skin, and if I want to wear enormous flamingo earrings I will.
Jackie Nettleton 4 years ago
It’s like Judge Judy says beauty fades dumb is forever, I have always liked that line
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
Maybe not physically but you can still be young at heart and beauty comes from within.
Biba Little 4 years ago
Young forever no, but why not beautiful? Are older people ugly? I don't think so.
Ellen Ranks 4 years ago
It saddens me to see the desperation of women who try to cling onto the image of youth they once had, because beauty is what they always depended on to get through life.
#32
That you need to stop procrastinating and get that thing you've been needing to do done already.
-your_demon_grunkle 4 years ago
Actually, it's best to get that person out of your way, that way you can do your work.
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Serial pacifist 4 years ago
Unless you can postpone it a little bit longer and read posts on BP.
Lee Macro 4 years ago
Sitting at work, drinking coffee, reading a post telling me to stop procrastinating.....gotta love the irony
Auntriarch 4 years ago
I've finished my coffee, so I have even less excuse
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#33
Your boyfriend/husband is always going to find other women attractive.
Gelato Cat 4 years ago
Ur partner will always find other people attractive ( weather they're bf/gf doesn't matter )
Leah Williams 4 years ago
YES thank you, it's not like women don't have attraction the moment they're married!?
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Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago (edited)
That goes for any gender. Nothing wrong with finding others attractive. What's wrong is when someone acts or tries to act on their attraction.
Patrick Milliken 4 years ago
Unless they are swingers and consent is 100% all the way around
Load More Replies... Burs 4 years ago (edited)
Maybe it’s me but in my case there are two types of “finding attractive”. The “I want to look at you but nothing else” and the “I want you”. The first one is perfectly harmless but I feel that if you experience the second while in a relation you need to take a step back and think if you are good together. I have met a lot of attractive people the last years but none of them that interested me since I met my partner.
Aroace tiger (any pronouns) 4 years ago
Aesthetic attraction vs romantic attraction
Load More Replies... Christi Stewart 4 years ago
This goes all ways no matter your gender, who you identify as, and/or sexual preference. There is always going to be someone the most loyal partner will see and think this, famous or common.
Marina Bailey 4 years ago
My mother would actually point out women to my dad whom she thought he'd find attractive. (They had a very strong marriage and my mom was never threatened by this.)
Tabitha Martel 4 years ago
My husband of 11 years and I do this too! And he teases me about my "type" and I tease him back. It feeds into honesty and communication.
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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
And your girlfriend/wife will always find other men attractive. Please substitute the gender that’s appropriate to your lifestyle, as this is universal. But none of it is supposed to be more than acknowledging good looks. If you love someone, you keep yourself to them exclusively. Do not act on attraction to someone else. You’ll certainly sabotage the good thing you already have, plus you may find out that person you destroyed your life for is a f*****g nightmare to live with, and wish you were back with the person you left. The grass is not always greener on the other side of that fence. You have to think with the smart brain in your head, not the stupid brain further south.
Octavia Hansen 4 years ago
Doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.
birdhouse 4 years ago
This makes it sound like when a woman finds a partner they will never look at another person again and that men are pigs constantly looking to trade up.
H Edwards 4 years ago
Exactly! Women in relationships still find others attractive.
Load More Replies... #34
We’ll eventually be alone, so it’s either being comfortable with ourselves or being tormented by loneliness later in life
Caro Caro 4 years ago
A hard lesson to have to go through. Loneliness is tough but loneliness in old age is not only tough but detrimental for your health too.
Biba Little 4 years ago
Totally alone in every possible way now. Telling myself daily "you are a good company to yourself", but I still miss other people.
Rosie Hamilton 4 years ago
Is there anything you can do to change it? I've joined some social groups to reach out and meet new people. Also walking my dogs - I meet a lot of people out and about. I'm disabled so it's not easy - was practically bent double with pain this afternoon but my dogs don't care!
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Dinah Brand 4 years ago
My grandma, who was the picture of health, suddenly passed away a few weeks after my grandpa died. They'd been together for 70 years. We believe she died of a broken heart.
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 4 years ago
In Angola(Africa) we say exactly this when someone dies in this circumstances. Because the sadness is so unbearable.
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Concept-Peter Roosdorp 4 years ago
I say this all the time. The only person in your life that you need to be comfortable being around is yourself. In the end, you will be alone. (Most likely anyway)
#35
Staying with someone who cheated on you is never a good idea
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Who hurt you, OP, that made you believe this was 100% true for 100% of people 100% of the time? People are complicated. Relationships are complicated. Absolutes about either rarely apply.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Honestly you might be able to forgive but it's very difficult to forget! For me, once the trust is gone then that's it! We are done
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TheBlackPanda (JustABlackBear) 4 years ago (edited)
Cheating means there's either something wrong with the relationship or something wrong with the person that cheated. Either way, it's not a good thing but sometimes, partners forgive each other and move on from it and go on to have good relationships from that point on. But a lot of the time, it's best to just leave a cheating partner because they'll probably do it again and again
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I could never stay if someone cheated. You can no longer trust the person
David Fox 4 years ago
Wrong! My wife did cheat on me ONCE at the beginning but you know what.... We communicated, we talked and came to a conclusion. Relationships aren't easy but if you talk it's easier. I forgave my wife and yes, it took time to build trust but here we are, 15 years later happily married with a beautiful daughter. Remember mistakes happen.
Yo Momma 4 years ago
Same. My now husband cheated on me 3 months after we were married and I forgave him. It is a very HARD and long road. He has changed for the better and we are better. Its been 6 years.
Load More Replies... Big Blue Cat 4 years ago
I'm not sure if I agree. But better advice imo (not that anyone cares about my opinion) is don't get together with a cheater e.g. if you we're the other woman/man in the beginning of your relationship, don't be surprised when s/he cheats on you.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 4 years ago
If someone tells you or shows you they are not trustworthy, believe them.
Rens 4 years ago
My partner was married twice before, and he deeply regretted his behaviour where he cheated on his 2nd wife (1st marriage ended within 2 years). He was going through some deep emotional issues regarding his grief after losing first his sister, then his mom and finally his dad; he never had a chance to grieve and process his losses. He doesn't make excuses, and things were more complex than I have said here; I don't believe he would cheat on me. I don't believe"once a cheat, always a cheat". People can change IF they want to put in the effort.
Ivana 4 years ago
Situational. For some people it will be something they can never get over and for some people it was just a rough time in the relationship or whatever. I don't know, I don't associate sex with love in general. They are different things. I could forgive my husband for having sex with others but I guess I couldn't forgive him for being romantically in love with another person.
#36
There are some people who just are NOT going to like you. And you will have done nothing to deserve, cause or warrant it. Its not your fault.
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
There will also be people who dislike you because your actions harmed them. You can apologize, but they are not obligated to forgive you.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
This is unfortunately true. After your apology is not accepted, it's best to move on.
Load More Replies... Serial pacifist 4 years ago
It is important NOT to care what others think of you, as long as you are satisfied with yourself.
TheBlackPanda (JustABlackBear) 4 years ago
This doesn't apply if you're a bad person that wants to hurt other people. If hurting other people makes you feel satisfied with yourself, you need to stop and seek help. If you don't see why you should stop, consider this: would you like it if others hurt you without caring? I'm guessing you wouldn't.
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Margareta Hagman 4 years ago
sure, in the same way i dont like some, i think its about energy some you click with and some not
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
There are people who initially rub me the wrong way, which is totally irrational, I admit. But I stick with my gut on these red flags. I expect to be on the receiving end of these gut reactions of others.
#37
Your belly button was your old mouth.
Serial pacifist 4 years ago
...and, in your pelvis, the coccyx is a small bone of four fused vertebrae that would make up the tail if humans had one.
Sergy Yeltsen 4 years ago
I think a tail would be awesome, and then remember how clumsy I am, so would probably always be slamming it in doors, tripping over it, etc...
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Rissie 4 years ago
Hardly. Your blood got infused with nutrients and oxygen and cleared of waste products and CO2. Your mouth is an entry product for raw product and oxygen that goes through two whole systems that serves the purpose of what the placenta got to your bloodstream from your mom. So no. Your belly button was never your mouth.
Thundercuss 4 years ago
The umbilical cord was the route for nutrients to enter your body as your mouth is now. The statement is not 100% analogous but it is still true from that point of view.
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Csaba Hegedűs 4 years ago
It was just as much your old mouth as your vein becomes your new if you need iv feeding.
MikeWheelerFan 4 years ago (edited)
Another fun fact: The butt-hole forms first (in humans, it’s different in other animals)
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
OMG - people actually believe this? This is really a thing? WTF?
#38
Life is as much unfair and unjust as it is possible for it to be
Cybele Spanjaard 4 years ago
Life does not offer the same opportunities to all but depends on the drive to achieve or alter direction.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Perhaps my love of astronomy is the reason why I don't expect life to be fair or just. The universe is chaos. Accept this, and your life will be easier.
April Pickett 4 years ago
If it has to be that way for you, so be it. You want up? Start small.
Brian Bennett 4 years ago
What is just to one person can be unjust to another it depends on the mental wisdom of the person!
Jack Corbyn 4 years ago
Christ...who wrote these? "Life is as much unfair". Here's a truth - you suck at English.
#39
Oxytocin, the “love hormone”, also increases animosity towards those you regard as “others”
XSpooky_Mint 4 years ago
It must be from all those dog-gone cocoa beans. By the way, did you guys know that chocolate releases a property which triggers the release of endorphins? Gives one the feeling of being in love.
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
Our evolution has been so parallel with dogs that we consider them tribe members and not "others". That is a good thing.
Load More Replies... Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Really?! Nerds of BP, does anyone have an article about this? (My phone couldn't open the source link to see if there was more info there.)
Caro Caro 4 years ago
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306453013002369
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Patricia 3 years ago
It's what your body releases when you have given birth, so you fall in love with your newborn.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 4 years ago
This kinda explains some stuff for me. My oxytocin levels enables me to unconditionally love animals, but not humans. And if I've deemed you as an "other", it's best we remain in separate rooms.
PixxelDust 4 years ago
fun fact: eating chocolate also releases oxytocin. so basically, chocolate = love
Thundercuss 4 years ago
Compare how a mama bear feels snuggling with her cub and her reaction to an interloper. Oxytocin.
#40
It’s not gonna be okay unless you make it okay. I often hear people say: it’s gonna be okay. Well, it’s probably gonna be okay, if you actually put the effort to make it okay. And sometimes, you have to let go, even the big things.
Burs 4 years ago
No. Many things cannot be fixed and pretending that it’s the persons fault is very cruel. A woman whose son just died is not going to be ok, it’s not her fault.
Deborah B 4 years ago
If it's a recent loss, then sure, the survivor will not be okay. But eventually you have to make a choice between coping with loss and grief, and wallowing in it. You don't 'get over' it, and learning to cope with it may take you months or years. You can get grief counselling, join a support group, love your surving friends and family, and work to build an okay life. Any tragedy you survive, you can choose to work on making become only a part of your story, or you can let it be the end of your story.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
"Make it okay" HOW?! .... I can't *make* this pandemic okay. And I can't let it go, b/c people are dying. OMG. What awful fortune cookie philosopher decided this?
tuzdayschild 4 years ago
Not always true. I have literally ignored things until they just went away or fixed themselves.
Ellen Ranks 4 years ago
Hate it when people say this in situations where things obviously are NOT ok, for example, your dog just got run over by a car.
Mike Hamilton 4 years ago
You mourn, you remember the times you had, you save another dog from a bad situation or death. It will be okay.
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Metallic Geisha 4 years ago
In the end, one way or another it will be ok bc by the end, itvwill be your new normal.
Soleil SanMao 3 years ago
I learned this when I thought that because I was having Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas's that everyone else was too. The holidays can bring on the deepest of depression when people are still mourning the loss of a loved one. Crippling grief.
Full Nameю 4 years ago
A brother in Church said that to me.. I did a mocking laugh. Told him he told a good joke! Then the Holy Spirit intervened. We both started to laugh hysterically. 🤣
Salty Wild Hair 4 years ago
Count yourself fortunate that someone is trying to comfort you. Not everyone has that.
What do you think ?
MikeWheelerFan 4 years ago
@Norman Baloch Shut up with your stupid MLM or whatever
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GirlFriday 4 years ago
Here is a hard truth: If someone will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. That married person you have been sleeping with will not suddenly become monogamous when they leave their significant other for you. You are just the "right now" while they are looking for the next affair.
Lyone Fein 4 years ago
It is true that we are each and all going to die. Many immediately--and irrationality--conclude that this makes everything preceding death meaningless. But this just simply doesn't follow. In fact, for countless people who have not even been religious the fact of death has made life more meaningful and precious. Yes we are small, finite, mortal. This realization can be profoundly liberating. You cannot do any great damage in the universe. So go have a life that is fun and full of beauty.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
A truth nobody wants to hear: There is no key to "perfect health". Bodies break down. It's called... nature.
James Doe 4 years ago
There is, if you understand the concept of risk and probability.
Load More Replies... Chich 4 years ago
One day, and you didn't notice, your parents picked you up for the very last time.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Like, a year ago. My mother proved to me that she can still pick me up like a baby. She tossed me on the couch...I was 16, and I'm heavy XD.
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Radek Suski 4 years ago
Jesus most likely never existed. Also: seriously, there is no god. Be a good human without expecting to be rewarded in next life
ivan bolitekurac 4 years ago
You can doubt God but there is a good chance that Jesus existed
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Terd Fergison 4 years ago
The supernatural jesus almost certainly never existed. There may have been a person(s) that the fictional jesus was based on, but no one has superpowers. Even if jesus was real, he was a real c-u-nt! Why did jesus supposedly heal some lepers, but not cure the disease leprosy itself? Was he playing favorites? Is he an as-shole? Incompetent? Doesn't have the power? Doesn't have the will? Science has largely cured the disease leprosy. Thank scientists. Jesus said that, I come not to bring peace, but a sword. He came to separate families and turn mothers against sons, brothers against each other, etc.
jk nbt 4 years ago (edited)
here's one that nobody wants to hear: The Covid virus will run its course. If you study every epidemic there has ever been, the susceptible always die off. Then the plague ends. The people with sturdy genes and bloodlines survive. Sorry folks, but even with vaccines and the latest antiviral drugs, this will be the case with Covid also. Yes, take the vaccines, always a good thing. Yes, wear masks, socially distance, isolate, wash hands, and do all the other things the experts recommend. But the virus will mutate 100 times over before they develop the next version of vaccine or drug. Eventually, those with a susceptible weakness in the genes somewhere will die. That's how viruses work. The virus finds an exploitable weakness, and then it makes the most of it. The flu virus can be caught, exchanged, and transmitted by pigs, ducks, and humans. Whenever these are in close proximity like on a pig farm, mutations happen. It becomes much more complicated with bats thrown in the mix. Count yourself lucky & blessed if you have survived this long. Before it is all over, the number of deaths and crippling cases may be several times the current count. So stay safe & well!
MikeWheelerFan 4 years ago
@Norman Baloch Shut up with your stupid MLM or whatever
Load More Replies... GirlFriday 4 years ago
Here is a hard truth: If someone will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. That married person you have been sleeping with will not suddenly become monogamous when they leave their significant other for you. You are just the "right now" while they are looking for the next affair.
Lyone Fein 4 years ago
It is true that we are each and all going to die. Many immediately--and irrationality--conclude that this makes everything preceding death meaningless. But this just simply doesn't follow. In fact, for countless people who have not even been religious the fact of death has made life more meaningful and precious. Yes we are small, finite, mortal. This realization can be profoundly liberating. You cannot do any great damage in the universe. So go have a life that is fun and full of beauty.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
A truth nobody wants to hear: There is no key to "perfect health". Bodies break down. It's called... nature.
James Doe 4 years ago
There is, if you understand the concept of risk and probability.
Load More Replies... Chich 4 years ago
One day, and you didn't notice, your parents picked you up for the very last time.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Like, a year ago. My mother proved to me that she can still pick me up like a baby. She tossed me on the couch...I was 16, and I'm heavy XD.
Load More Replies... Radek Suski 4 years ago
Jesus most likely never existed. Also: seriously, there is no god. Be a good human without expecting to be rewarded in next life
ivan bolitekurac 4 years ago
You can doubt God but there is a good chance that Jesus existed
Load More Replies... Terd Fergison 4 years ago
The supernatural jesus almost certainly never existed. There may have been a person(s) that the fictional jesus was based on, but no one has superpowers. Even if jesus was real, he was a real c-u-nt! Why did jesus supposedly heal some lepers, but not cure the disease leprosy itself? Was he playing favorites? Is he an as-shole? Incompetent? Doesn't have the power? Doesn't have the will? Science has largely cured the disease leprosy. Thank scientists. Jesus said that, I come not to bring peace, but a sword. He came to separate families and turn mothers against sons, brothers against each other, etc.
jk nbt 4 years ago (edited)
here's one that nobody wants to hear: The Covid virus will run its course. If you study every epidemic there has ever been, the susceptible always die off. Then the plague ends. The people with sturdy genes and bloodlines survive. Sorry folks, but even with vaccines and the latest antiviral drugs, this will be the case with Covid also. Yes, take the vaccines, always a good thing. Yes, wear masks, socially distance, isolate, wash hands, and do all the other things the experts recommend. But the virus will mutate 100 times over before they develop the next version of vaccine or drug. Eventually, those with a susceptible weakness in the genes somewhere will die. That's how viruses work. The virus finds an exploitable weakness, and then it makes the most of it. The flu virus can be caught, exchanged, and transmitted by pigs, ducks, and humans. Whenever these are in close proximity like on a pig farm, mutations happen. It becomes much more complicated with bats thrown in the mix. Count yourself lucky & blessed if you have survived this long. Before it is all over, the number of deaths and crippling cases may be several times the current count. So stay safe & well!
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