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Cold truths are hard to swallow for a reason. They strip us of the illusion that everything’s in our control and that we know things best. But in reality, that’s not how things work, and who likes to be told that?!
“What’s a truth no one wants to hear?” wondered Redditor u/grubbseuph11 on r/AskReddit and people shared some illuminating and brutally honest responses, like the hard-to-digest fact that “friends will come and go,” and that “no matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.”
So let’s get ready to be hit by a cold shower that should make you rethink this whole perspective on our lives, and be sure to check out our previous post with more hard truths right here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
You aren’t a hero or even a good person just because you’re in the military
Natalia Shoemark 3 years ago
American brain washing... "thank you for your service"... I mean, yes, thank you! But war needs to be feared not celebrated!
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#2
Time doesn't heal wounds, it builds scar tissue.
#3
You are much closer to being poor and homeless than you are to being super rich
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
Also, I am closer to being a long-term BP commentator than a long-term professional writer 🤷♀️
In order to find out why exactly it's so hard to swallow a hard truth, and how we should react to it, Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
“When we develop close relationships, we expect those people to be gentle with us, not hurt us,” said Susan explaining why hard truths are not pleasant to hear. “When they offer up a hard truth, it violates the expectation that the person isn't going to cause us pain. We want them to love and encourage us—but we don't always realize that a hard truth is being given to us with love and encouragement, with our best interests in mind.”
#6
“I don't know” is a perfectly valid answer to many questions.
Tim Pillinger 3 years ago
I have a professional qualification where you have to have said "sorry, I can't answer that question" to qualify. My boss primed the customer to ask something silly.
“Often, what someone else calls a ‘hard truth’ we call ‘criticism,’” she said. “If a criticism is true, we can agree and apologize, then work to make it right—or we can ignore and deflect it if it isn't true.”
Moreover, Susan said that when someone we care about delivers a hard truth, we should take that opinion more seriously, because this is a person whose opinion we trust. “I advise my clients to think about the intention behind the message. If the intention is to help us, prevent us from making a mistake, or intervene before we get hurt, it's worthwhile to consider.”
#7
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)
Mistakes are unavoidable. Failure is unavoidable. We cannot run from it and need to stop being so afraid, because it's ok to not get everything right all the time, and like this says, sometimes it's out if your control
#8
Some people are bad parents.
Being funny or smart doesn’t mean you’re ready to take care if a human being (maybe even multiple) for a good chunk of your life.
Please don’t get kids to fix a relationship either, I’ve seen this too much and it doesn’t work.
#9
Most people genuinely do not care about you or your opinions, which is just fine
Susan advises asking yourself if the "hard truth" is really true. “Be brutally honest with yourself—remember why your loved one brought it up to you in the first place!”
“It's beneficial to hear a hard truth when we're hurting someone else, hurting ourselves, or not being true to our values,” she explained and added: “So situations that look like that would be drug/alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse, bad financial or career decisions, or dating someone married if you're religious.”
#10
No matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.
#11
Most people shouldn’t have kids.
Andy Acceber 3 years ago
When you look at the impact of 7 billion humans at a time on the surface of the planet, yeah. This is probably true.
#13
Life will never be exactly like it was before the pandemic started.
Gelato Cat 3 years ago
After the 1918 influenza epidemic came the roaring 20's which was revolutionary for both the arts and society, a similar thing happened with the renaissance, so who knows, maybe it will never be the same again for the better ( for those who have lost jobs/loved ones to Covid i am not minimising ur suffering)
#14
You can't run from yourself. Moving towns, cities or even countries won't automatically change who you are
#15
Friends will come and go. You will have many friends who one day you will never see again.
#16
You are the main character in your life but you're just an extra in everone else's
#17
It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Niceness, kindness, small random acts, these are one of the things I love about life. Even if they are few and far between. And doing them always feels good so it's a win win ^-^
#18
Climate change is an exponential curve and we are entering the shoulder. Natural disasters are expected to increase 8x in the next couple decades. It gets worse after that.
kristina law 3 years ago (edited)
I live in Phoenix, where 200 people move to every single day. Also, where it will be uninhabitable within 20 years because of the rise in temperatures. Don't move here.
#19
It just takes a second to destroy what has taken years or even centuries to make.
#20
The world is 100% being run by corruption.
Andy Acceber 3 years ago
I read this as "corporation," doubted it, then realized that was probably true too.
#21
War can come to your doorstep, everything can change. No country is immune. History clearly demonstrates this.
#22
Not everything happens "for a reason" or because of something you have (or have not) done.
Sometimes, things in life and the Universe go sideways and it's just your time to be caught in the crossfire.
#23
All your bones are wet right now
#24
If you don’t take care of your teeth when you’re young, you’ll regret it when you’re old. Brush twice a day, goddamnit.
#25
If you’re chasing a romance or friendship… the other person doesn’t want to be with you.
#26
You’re not special… but that’s okay because everyone is not special together.
Kari Panda 3 years ago
I wish we‘d teach that more. So many peope think they’re special and thus believe they’re entitled to something. You and your wishes/opinions/needs definitely matter, but so do those of everyone else.
#27
The odds that you die tomorrow is wayyy higher than winning on that lottery ticket.
#28
There's no "health in every size". If you're over/under certain weight limit, you have a higher risk in getting sick. There's no "but-".
NsG 3 years ago (edited)
I wish more people understood the concept of "risk". You can totally be 20lb over weight and still be healthy RIGHT NOW. All it means is that you are gambling that you will be healthy tomorrow or next week or next year. It is also not a guarantee. If there is a risk factor that one in ten overweight men will have a heart attack, and you gather nine of your overweight friends you cannot say with complete accuracy which one of you it will be. It is a gamble - some people are happy to gamble, and accept the fact they may lose. But there's a difference between knowing it's a possibility and being scared into thinking it's a certainty.
#30
You can't make someone love you if they don't
Scagsy 3 years ago
This is a terrible movie trope. Keep pestering and chasing and eventually the other person will fall madly in love with you. Sorry, but it doesn't work like that. You will go to prison for stalking and may find yourself on the receiving end of somebody else's love. You don't want that. You really don't want that.
#32
That you need to stop procrastinating and get that thing you've been needing to do done already.
#33
Your boyfriend/husband is always going to find other women attractive.
Gelato Cat 3 years ago
Ur partner will always find other people attractive ( weather they're bf/gf doesn't matter )
#34
We’ll eventually be alone, so it’s either being comfortable with ourselves or being tormented by loneliness later in life
#35
Staying with someone who cheated on you is never a good idea
Andy Acceber 3 years ago
Who hurt you, OP, that made you believe this was 100% true for 100% of people 100% of the time? People are complicated. Relationships are complicated. Absolutes about either rarely apply.
#36
There are some people who just are NOT going to like you. And you will have done nothing to deserve, cause or warrant it. Its not your fault.
Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
There will also be people who dislike you because your actions harmed them. You can apologize, but they are not obligated to forgive you.
#37
Your belly button was your old mouth.
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
...and, in your pelvis, the coccyx is a small bone of four fused vertebrae that would make up the tail if humans had one.
#38
Life is as much unfair and unjust as it is possible for it to be
#39
Oxytocin, the “love hormone”, also increases animosity towards those you regard as “others”
XSpooky_Mint 3 years ago
It must be from all those dog-gone cocoa beans. By the way, did you guys know that chocolate releases a property which triggers the release of endorphins? Gives one the feeling of being in love.
#40
It’s not gonna be okay unless you make it okay. I often hear people say: it’s gonna be okay. Well, it’s probably gonna be okay, if you actually put the effort to make it okay. And sometimes, you have to let go, even the big things.
What do you think ?
MikeWheelerFan 3 years ago
@Norman Baloch Shut up with your stupid MLM or whatever
Load More Replies...
GirlFriday 3 years ago
Here is a hard truth: If someone will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. That married person you have been sleeping with will not suddenly become monogamous when they leave their significant other for you. You are just the "right now" while they are looking for the next affair.
Lyone Fein 3 years ago
It is true that we are each and all going to die. Many immediately--and irrationality--conclude that this makes everything preceding death meaningless. But this just simply doesn't follow. In fact, for countless people who have not even been religious the fact of death has made life more meaningful and precious. Yes we are small, finite, mortal. This realization can be profoundly liberating. You cannot do any great damage in the universe. So go have a life that is fun and full of beauty.
MikeWheelerFan 3 years ago
@Norman Baloch Shut up with your stupid MLM or whatever
Load More Replies... GirlFriday 3 years ago
Here is a hard truth: If someone will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. That married person you have been sleeping with will not suddenly become monogamous when they leave their significant other for you. You are just the "right now" while they are looking for the next affair.
Lyone Fein 3 years ago
It is true that we are each and all going to die. Many immediately--and irrationality--conclude that this makes everything preceding death meaningless. But this just simply doesn't follow. In fact, for countless people who have not even been religious the fact of death has made life more meaningful and precious. Yes we are small, finite, mortal. This realization can be profoundly liberating. You cannot do any great damage in the universe. So go have a life that is fun and full of beauty.
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