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We will generally hear about more life-experiences then we will actually experience in person, for better or worse. So most of us tend to have at least a basic idea of what most occurrences will look like. However, the human brain has a way of “protecting” itself, so topics like "traumatic events” are often hard to discuss and explain.
Someone asked “What is something that is actually more traumatizing than most people realize?” and people shared some poignant examples. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote the ones that you agree with and add your own thoughts to the comments section below.
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#1
Losing a pet. People acknowledge it’s sad, but unless you’ve been through it, you don’t realize just how deeply it can break you. It’s losing a best friend, a daily companion, and a source of unconditional love all at once.
Lost Panda 5 days ago
When my Akita died, my family were in Japan while I was in the States (COVID restrictions went into effect when they were visiting her family). Found the dog in the morning and had a sad reaction, but nothing major. My wife called that evening (her morning)... I broke down and sobbed/ugly cried over the phone
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#4
Functioning depression. People don’t realize how exhausting it is to put on a “happy” face every day when you’re out in the world when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry for a week straight.
Lost Panda 5 days ago
Worse when the people you care about say you need help then chastise you for trying to get help.
#5
Growing up non diagnosed nurodivergence and never really fitting in and not knowing why while also not getting any support from the adults who should have noticed something.
#6
Being raised by parents with undiagnosed mental illness.
E Menendez 5 days ago
It isn't any better when they ARE diagnosed, unless they actually want to work on themselves. My father was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression but used it as his excuse for his abusive and manipulative behavior.
#7
Job searching! The fatigue of getting multiple rejections, being ghosted, while trying to pay bills can be crushing.
#9
Not all, but a good amount of childbirth experiences. I regularly tell people it was the worst day of my life and they're shocked. Of course I was happy to meet my baby but that doesn't mean it wasn't a massively traumatic day getting there.
SirWriteALot 5 days ago
Yet every woman is made to feel like a loser if she doesn't enjoy every minute of it.
#10
Being bullied. On TV, people act like it's funny. But it can provide life long trauma.
#11
Becoming disabled. Nobody treats it as the truly traumatic experience it really is. There is no psychological support for us, as it happens. We are left to figure it out on our own.
#12
Growing up as the “gifted” child, only to wind up the Family Disappointment.
#13
Being cheated on can ruin your life.
#14
Someone you trusted taking your deepest traumas and insecurities to ‘win’ an argument.
HardBoiledBlonde 5 days ago
"You must have liked being raped by your Uncle considering it happened so many times."
#15
Being raised in Evangelical Christianity or other high-control religious environments.
#16
Growing up with parents who simply do not love each other, who scream at each other all the time, and never get divorced.
Growing up in a household where you learn to be responsible for your parents’ feelings from a very young age.
Edit to add: I didn’t think this would resonate with so many people. Thank you to everyone for sharing if this hit home for you. Just knowing that there are other hearts out there who know what it felt like, and feels like to carry into adulthood no matter how old you are, feels supportive. 🤎.
Little Bit 5 days ago
When i was growing up my parents couldn't stand the sight of each other. My mother treated my dad and I like dirt and she was having a long term affair. In front of others, though, they were the most stable couple you could ever meet. Even now, decades later, I still maintain that if they had divorced and gone their separate ways, everybody, and I repeat everybody involved would have been much happier.
#17
Being ghosted for no reason by friends.
Made me lose all respect I had for myself and made my anxiety 10× worse.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 5 days ago
Been there. It's been 20+ years and I still wrestle with it sometimes.
#18
Feeling emotionally invisible. It’s a slow, quiet kind of trauma that builds over time. I think people often underestimate how much it affects your mental health when you constantly feel like no one truly sees or hears you.
#19
Volunteering with animals. it’s not just playing with puppies and kitties. i work in animal welfare now and i have years of trauma and guilt from the terrible s**t people have done to these animals.
Multa Nocte 5 days ago
Sadly, veterinarians have one of the highest rates of suicide, and I would imagine it's from this and from having to put animals down.
#20
Growing up with a parent who goes silent when angry. I never knew if it was me she was mad at, and if so, what I did. I’m 70 years old, and while I consciously fight the feeling, if someone is quiet I assume they’re angry with me, even if there’s no reason they should be.
#21
Being laid off through no fault of your own.
Little Bit 5 days ago
This. Being made redundant from the best job I ever had or was ever likely to have broke me. I brought the best results and was consistently top in my department for years. I worked with some fantastic people and loved every minute. Most of the managers couldn't understand why i had been given my notice and not other people in my department who didn't work as hard and did nothing but complain about their job. I now have a perpetual fear of losing my job.
#22
Close friend break ups. Just as bad if not worse than relationship breakups.
#24
Taking care of a parent with dementia. It is soul draining. It's a full time job. It's dirty and embarrassing for all involved. It's heartbreaking watching your once competent, intelligent, funny parent regress until they are a husk of a person. You struggle with keeping them in their home and "honoring their wishes". Dealing with insurance, Medicaid, hospital stays, and affording any kind of respite care is mine-boggling complex and expensive. Cleaning up grown man pee and poop from every corner of the house is maddening. The tedium of repeating yourself a hundred times a day, listening to the same questions, the same complaints and stories. The list is neverending.
I wish there was assisted s****de in America that you could put into an advanced directive for circumstances like this. He wouldn't want to live like this and it is ruining lives.
#25
Chronic illness.
Chrissy Mangrum 5 days ago
Chronic illnesses and chronic pain. It just changes a person. A ( no longer) friend said to me..." You're soft now. That's not the girl I remember " You're right. After 3yrs of battling cancer and the after effects; I'm not the same girl you knew.
#26
Having a boss who criticizes every little thing you do, for literally hours at a time, until finally you start to wonder whether you actually ARE that stupid and incompetent. .
Michelle C 5 days ago
I have never had a boss like this, but former coworkers have engaged In similar behavior over the years. 😮💨 It’s just about as demoralizing.
#28
Going through a divorce. Even though divorcing my ex was one of the best decisions I ever made , at the time it was so much more painful and stressful than I could have imagined.
#29
Choking on food. It's literally life or death and it can stick with you if you survive that scenario.
#30
Infestations. Bed bugs, roaches, fleas, mice, you name it. Absolutely corrodes your psyche.
Blondie23 5 days ago
Oh this is so true. Especially if you are living in an apartment type of situation and you keep your space clean and bug free... if your neighbor doesn't they can come over to your space and there is little you can do about it. I have dealt with this and you just feel dirty all the time regardless of how much you clean.
#31
Legitimate near death experiences. People will say "I thought I was going to die" but if you actually have a moment when you deeply and truly believe that, it can really mess you up. If you've had one of those moments then you understand what I mean.
Deborah 5 days ago
I was in a car crash that should have killed me. Totally not my fault, I was stopped at a red light. That was about 1984, around there. And the time in the hospital when an infection almost reached me brain. Again, in the 80s. I hear the doctor telling me at discharge that the first few days he wasn't sure I was going to make it.
#32
Having a confrontation with neighbors. Having anger/fear/discord invade your living space is really upsetting on a basic subconscious level.
#33
Allowing bad friends to stay in your life for too long.
Do not waste your life , energy and time on people who only take.
Seperate from them and watch how much better your life gets.
#34
Getting paid late, bills don’t stop just because a company can’t plan ahead financially. .
#35
A book I read on trauma listed immigration as one of the top 5.
What do you think ?
Nay Wilson 5 days ago
I’m surprised no mentioned childhood SA by a parental figure. My stepdad. I’m nearly 40 and still messed up from what he did to me
Little Bit 5 days ago
When you report domestic violence and abuse to the police and they treat you like you are the criminal. When you are terrified and vulnerable and findingit difficult to speak out, not being believed by the very people who are supposed to protect victims is just as, if not more psychologically damaging than the abuse itself.
Nay Wilson 5 days ago
I’m surprised no mentioned childhood SA by a parental figure. My stepdad. I’m nearly 40 and still messed up from what he did to me
Little Bit 5 days ago
When you report domestic violence and abuse to the police and they treat you like you are the criminal. When you are terrified and vulnerable and findingit difficult to speak out, not being believed by the very people who are supposed to protect victims is just as, if not more psychologically damaging than the abuse itself.
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