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‘I Had A Kid That Did Not Smile’: Christian Dad Explains How He Learned To Accept His Trans Daughter In A Heartwrenching Speech
‘I Had A Kid That Did Not Smile’: Christian Dad Explains How He Learned To Accept His Trans Daughter In A Heartwrenching Speech

‘I Had A Kid That Did Not Smile’: Christian Dad Explains How He Learned To Accept His Trans Daughter In A Heartwrenching Speech

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Brandon Boulware is a father of four, including a transgender daughter who plays volleyball.

Earlier this month, he spoke up for his daughter as he delivered his testimony during a March 3rd meeting of the Missouri state House.

Since then, Boulware’s speech has drawn much attention as some states debate restrictions on trans athletes competing in schools.

Introducing himself as “a lifelong Missourian, business lawyer, Christian, and the son of a Methodist minister,” Boulware shared his opinion on a resolution that would ban transgender high school athletes from participating in girls’ sports in Missouri.

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    Right now, there are about 35 such bills considered in 20 states. Just days ago, Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves signed one such law, which is scheduled to go into effect later this year.

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    “I proudly signed the Mississippi Fairness Act to ensure young girls are not forced to compete against biological males,” Governor Reeves, a Republican, tweeted.

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    Supporters of these bills say they are necessary to reduce what they believe to be an unfair competitive advantage of transgender athletes who identify as female.

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    On the other hand, advocacy groups like the ACLU say that these laws are discriminatory.

    Dr. Eric Vilain, a pediatrician and geneticist at Children’s National Hospital in Washington, D.C, who has studied sex differences throughout his career and has also advised the International Olympic Committee on these issues, said that men have on average an advantage in performance in athletics of about 10 to 12% over women, which the sports authorities have attributed to differences in levels of a male hormone called testosterone.

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    Villain said the question is whether there is in real life, during actual competitions, an advantage of performance linked to this male hormone and whether trans athletes are systematically winning all competitions.

    “The answer to this latter question – are trans athletes winning everything? – is simple. That’s not the case,” Villain said. “And higher levels of the male hormone testosterone are associated with better performance only in a very small number of athletic disciplines – 400 meters, 800 meters, hammer throw, pole vault. And it certainly does not explain the whole 10% difference.”

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    It’s a complicated issue. But what about high school? “At a high school level, many trans youth do delay their puberty, which means that even if they are not taking these gender-affirming hormones, their natural puberty in their biological sex is not happening, therefore resulting in a delay and an absence of an effect on muscle mass, at least for the male-to-female situation. So the supposed advantage of muscle mass and red blood cells because of testosterone becomes moot in middle and often high school competitions when there have been puberty blockers involved.” However, if a student isn’t blocking their puberty, the situation gets blurry again.

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    Last week, more than 500 student-athletes signed a letter that was sent to the N.C.A.A., pressing the organization to stop holding championship events in states that restrict or aim to restrict transgender athletes.

    “You have been silent in the face of hateful legislation in states that are slated to host championships, even though those states are close to passing anti-transgender legislation,” the letter read.

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    Legislation on a federal level has also been introduced. Representative Greg Steube of Florida, a Republican, for example, in January introduced the Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act of 2021, which would designate sex as “based solely on a person’s reproductive biology and genetics at birth” and make it illegal for operators of sports programs that receive federal funds “to permit a person whose sex is male to participate in an athletic program or activity that is designated for women or girls.”

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    A similar bill was introduced in the Senate by Mike Lee of Utah, also a Republican, last month.

    The bills were sent to committees for review. In previous sessions, similar bills have not advanced.

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    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    What do you think ?
    Draco Malfoy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asides from the actual debate, imagine having a father that supportive and caring of you.

    Johanna
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonderful message. Its fantastic what he learned and that he now fights for the right of transgender people.

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aski Markup - First, you assume that any guy can outdo any girl in athletics and that's just not the case. Second, you sit here and make an assumption about a scholarship being handed to a transgender girl over a biological girl because of genetics without considering the impact of hormone therapies for transgenders. Third, your scholarship reference is flawed because you neglected to factor in one element, the college recruiter. Do you think they aren't going to take into consideration any perceived advantages or disadvantages when handing out scholarships? Your mind may only be able to process simple things, but they, I think, may be a little smarter than that.

    Load More Replies...
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    "Simo Häyhä"
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is great for two reasons, one the obvious, he accepted and then defended his daughter, and two as a parent he admitted that he was wrong and tried to fix his mistake. Admitting that you are wrong is one of the most basic things that parents should but often don't do.

    Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What berleyseys says is 100% true. We don't own our kids. We are temporary guardians. Their life is THEIRS! I am crying right now, that doesn't happen often. I have a cousin that went through what that little girl went through, but the opposite. When he finally transitioned to male, we finally were able to know what a wonderful, caring person he is...because he finally felt comfortable to open up and let people in! He has parents (he is about 25 now) that have stood by him the whole way. Things were different in the world 20 years ago, but they knew their child was not comfortable in their own skin when he was little, and they are his biggest supporters. And a few of his family members like me. But not all our family. The more religious side still call him his former name on purpose. (My Catholic side of the family is 100% supportive. My Baptist family is not at all. So our family is kinda divided about it, but we are ok with that because my cousin is worth it!)

    Sleazy Weaver
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally, I think sports shouldn't be gendered in the first place. Teams should be chosen by physical ability no matter the gender or biological sex of the athlete. Get equal teams against each other & it'll be a fair game, regardless of gender. Simply do not pit people who could hurt each other against each other. It's that simple. It doesn't matter what's in someone's pants. Just make even teams in the first place.

    Istax
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    sport shouldn't be single-sex?... it's undeniable that male-bodied people have a physical advantage, men have the top speeds in every single sport DUE to their body. if we eliminate women's races and men's races, the men will simply win every single damn time. this is utterly ridiculous, and I don't even know why I'm debating this in the first place, everyone know that men and women have different bodies. ffs.

    Load More Replies...
    Billybobjoe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This awesome and that dad just gave his daughter an awesome b-day

    Sam Yobado
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Olympics have had a trans-inclusive policy since 2004. California 8 years ago passed a law saying kids can compete in sports based on gender identity. There is no fallout. The fear behind this law is of an apparition. It is propped up by people who are willing to discriminate without evidence against a vulnerable group.

    Emmaline Yuzu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    can i please upvote this 1000 times? such an important message about acceptance and unconditional love.

    The Chosen One
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To all the people saying trans women are making sports unfair: You do realize that simply being biologically male doesn't automatically make you super athletic right? Men have to work hard too. Your chromosomes don't control your athleticism

    Istax
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    chromosomes don't control your athleticism. puberty does, and boys go through male puberty which makes them inherently stronger. fastest runner? a man. quickest swimmer? a man. best weightlifter? a man. to deny that being male or female has any effect on your athleticism, that's like saying that male and female bodies have no difference at all. which they clearly do.

    Load More Replies...
    person (i think)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As always, these anti transgender arguments are disengenuous. If you think about it, the earlier we allow transgender kids to be their true self, the less “advantage” they would have in the sports world. They would have access to the corrective hormones, if they choose, and those “advantages” would not even arise (in the case of girls) or, they would be given the opportunity to be on more equal footing (boys)

    Istax
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    regardless of how many drugs we give kids, we can't change their chromosomes, the very thing that makes someone male or female. and to point out what you're saying... you think we should give younger and younger kids harmful drugs, like Lupron - a drug used to chemically castrate sex offenders? your argument seems rational and reasonable at first, but when we dig deeper it becomes clear what you're saying: give drugs to kids. also, if your biological sex has no affect on your gender, when why change your appearance to appear more masculine or feminine in the first place, if gender is an internal, mental knowledge? and if you say "gender expression" or some other bs like that, that's literally saying "oh I'm actually a girl so I'm only going to wear dresses. wearing dresses = girl, right? hahaha!".

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Draco Malfoy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asides from the actual debate, imagine having a father that supportive and caring of you.

    Johanna
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonderful message. Its fantastic what he learned and that he now fights for the right of transgender people.

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aski Markup - First, you assume that any guy can outdo any girl in athletics and that's just not the case. Second, you sit here and make an assumption about a scholarship being handed to a transgender girl over a biological girl because of genetics without considering the impact of hormone therapies for transgenders. Third, your scholarship reference is flawed because you neglected to factor in one element, the college recruiter. Do you think they aren't going to take into consideration any perceived advantages or disadvantages when handing out scholarships? Your mind may only be able to process simple things, but they, I think, may be a little smarter than that.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    "Simo Häyhä"
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is great for two reasons, one the obvious, he accepted and then defended his daughter, and two as a parent he admitted that he was wrong and tried to fix his mistake. Admitting that you are wrong is one of the most basic things that parents should but often don't do.

    Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What berleyseys says is 100% true. We don't own our kids. We are temporary guardians. Their life is THEIRS! I am crying right now, that doesn't happen often. I have a cousin that went through what that little girl went through, but the opposite. When he finally transitioned to male, we finally were able to know what a wonderful, caring person he is...because he finally felt comfortable to open up and let people in! He has parents (he is about 25 now) that have stood by him the whole way. Things were different in the world 20 years ago, but they knew their child was not comfortable in their own skin when he was little, and they are his biggest supporters. And a few of his family members like me. But not all our family. The more religious side still call him his former name on purpose. (My Catholic side of the family is 100% supportive. My Baptist family is not at all. So our family is kinda divided about it, but we are ok with that because my cousin is worth it!)

    Sleazy Weaver
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally, I think sports shouldn't be gendered in the first place. Teams should be chosen by physical ability no matter the gender or biological sex of the athlete. Get equal teams against each other & it'll be a fair game, regardless of gender. Simply do not pit people who could hurt each other against each other. It's that simple. It doesn't matter what's in someone's pants. Just make even teams in the first place.

    Istax
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    sport shouldn't be single-sex?... it's undeniable that male-bodied people have a physical advantage, men have the top speeds in every single sport DUE to their body. if we eliminate women's races and men's races, the men will simply win every single damn time. this is utterly ridiculous, and I don't even know why I'm debating this in the first place, everyone know that men and women have different bodies. ffs.

    Load More Replies...
    Billybobjoe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This awesome and that dad just gave his daughter an awesome b-day

    Sam Yobado
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Olympics have had a trans-inclusive policy since 2004. California 8 years ago passed a law saying kids can compete in sports based on gender identity. There is no fallout. The fear behind this law is of an apparition. It is propped up by people who are willing to discriminate without evidence against a vulnerable group.

    Emmaline Yuzu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    can i please upvote this 1000 times? such an important message about acceptance and unconditional love.

    The Chosen One
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To all the people saying trans women are making sports unfair: You do realize that simply being biologically male doesn't automatically make you super athletic right? Men have to work hard too. Your chromosomes don't control your athleticism

    Istax
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    chromosomes don't control your athleticism. puberty does, and boys go through male puberty which makes them inherently stronger. fastest runner? a man. quickest swimmer? a man. best weightlifter? a man. to deny that being male or female has any effect on your athleticism, that's like saying that male and female bodies have no difference at all. which they clearly do.

    Load More Replies...
    person (i think)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As always, these anti transgender arguments are disengenuous. If you think about it, the earlier we allow transgender kids to be their true self, the less “advantage” they would have in the sports world. They would have access to the corrective hormones, if they choose, and those “advantages” would not even arise (in the case of girls) or, they would be given the opportunity to be on more equal footing (boys)

    Istax
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    regardless of how many drugs we give kids, we can't change their chromosomes, the very thing that makes someone male or female. and to point out what you're saying... you think we should give younger and younger kids harmful drugs, like Lupron - a drug used to chemically castrate sex offenders? your argument seems rational and reasonable at first, but when we dig deeper it becomes clear what you're saying: give drugs to kids. also, if your biological sex has no affect on your gender, when why change your appearance to appear more masculine or feminine in the first place, if gender is an internal, mental knowledge? and if you say "gender expression" or some other bs like that, that's literally saying "oh I'm actually a girl so I'm only going to wear dresses. wearing dresses = girl, right? hahaha!".

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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