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Proud Mom Shares How Her 13-Year-Old Son Came Out To Her And It’s Heartwarming
2020 is about to end and despite all the heartbreaking moments it has been taking us through, the past 12 months have brought a few that put a smile on our faces too. This viral story is about one of them.
Just before Christmas, writer Amanda Mancino-Williams turned to Twitter to share the wholesome booklet her 13-year-old made for her. “Got a note from my 13yo tonight, under the door, like they always did when there was something important to say,” she wrote.
The pages included drawings of a “dot-er,” intended as a pun for the word “daughter,” and a sun, a pun for the word “son.”
The little one explained, “I was originally expected to be an artist who specialized in pointillism, but I have discovered that being a ball of gas suits me better.”
Image credits: Manda_like_wine
Gender nonconformity, defined as having a gender expression that is perceived to be inconsistent with gender norms expected for an individual’s sex, is not uncommon in children. A study of gender-atypical behavior (one aspect of gender nonconformity) among elementary school children found that approximately 23% of boys and 39% of girls displayed multiple gender-atypical behaviors.
Gender nonconformity exists on a spectrum; some children displaying less and some children displaying more of it.
Family acceptance is very important to transgender youth. A 2013 survey revealed that 4 in 10 LGBTQ adults say they were rejected by a family member or close friend at some point in their lives and as a result, LGBTQ youth are more prone to homelessness than their peers.
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The mother was really proud to receive the booklet
Trans-identified and nongender youth can even be misunderstood by lesbians, gays, and bisexuals. Youths who identify as trans frequently have to explain their identity to them as well as to straight people, said Katherine Newman, a former LGBTQ program specialist.
“Often, trans-identified youth are in a position where they constantly have to educate people about what ‘trans’ means,” Newman explained. “They essentially have to justify themselves.”
Studies suggest that children who are supported and affirmed in their transitions are just as mentally healthy as their cisgender peers.
As her tweets were going viral, people were sending the family their best wishes
Here are just a few responses the thread has received
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Joe Reaves 3 years ago
Dot-ter, ugh - only 13 but already making comments that qualify as dad jokes! And flaming ball of gas isn't a bad description of a teenage boy, lol.
Jamma 3 years ago
That's what I was thinking, having had a teenage brother! >.< lol
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Animal lover❤ 3 years ago
The comment section is i sad strange place, go no further. Congrats to him for finding himself, I hope that they live a wonderful life❤
Dippin Dot 3 years ago
I followed her account for a while, and I just so happen to notice a pattern - first, she had a GoFundMe because her ex left when she was pregnant and was supporting her and her 3 other kids alone. Ok, cool. Then she made headlines (even here on BP) because she reserved seats on a train but some entitled couple took them and wouldn't give them. up. Now she has this story. As much as I'm a LGBTQ advocate, I'm kind of over this particular persons stories.
Amanda MW 3 years ago (edited)
Hi there, I'm the writer you're discussing and would like to say that I've never mentioned any of this for clicks. I have a platform and there have been times that some of the things I've tweeted have taken off. 99 percent of the other things haven't. I have fantastic children who I'm incredibly proud of and always ask their permission before I share anything. Regarding the gofundme, I was desperately in need of help and had no where to turn. As always, my incredible community of friends on Twitter came through during a very dark time. During better times I had always tried to reciprocate and help when I could, and I do hope most people recognized that. I hope that in the future, maybe instead of posting something questioning someone's integrity on a public forum, maybe just reach out. My DMS and email are open and I'm always happy to connect with anyone who legitimately wants to converse. Wishing you and yours a Happy New Year.
Load More Replies...
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
What a strong child she's raised, and one who knew they could trust her.
Cori 3 years ago
David, I'm so sorry for the awful trauma in your life. I can't imagine how painful it must be to loose people you love in such a tragic way. Knowing the origin of your pain, your negative comments make a lot more sense. There's even some legitimacy buried in all the harshness. You are right. These are frequently very fragile people who are dealing with some extremely heavy things. However, I believe the answer is ALWAYS love and support. We all need to know we are loved no matter what. We all need a safe haven that we know will be free of judgment. I think THAT is the best possible thing you can give someone when they are trying to navigate something this emotional, life altering and, let's face it, often crushingly controversial. I can't fathom the enormity of everything trans people face. One would have to be made of absolute steel to be able to navigate all of that and not need therapy. There is just too much to unpack alone...
Load More Replies...
s. vitkovitsky 3 years ago
The brain doesn't fully develop until people are in their 20s, which is why you're not allowed to vote, drink, or drive, and, usually, marry until you're a certain age. Most people don't make any career decisions until they're no longer teenagers, either. There's no scientific basis for being allowed legally to make this sort of decision when you're still a child, and your brain hasn't matured enough yet to think about it more deeply and clearly. This isn't about supporting or not supporting trans people, this is about making sure that they are sure.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I mean it’s just a kid that wrote a note. I was “sure” I was going to be a meteorologist when I was a kid but it’s not like that’s a legal issue now when I’m not. The kid isn’t getting hormones and surgery, they’re just saying how they feel. Some people seem like they can’t make their own personal opinions or choices without knowing what the courts think first.
Load More Replies...
Moo Moo Futch 3 years ago
Absolutely not all cringey but 100% the best coming out I've heard and from a 13 year old who clearly is wiser than their years. Love him!!
unusual spider 3 years ago
David why are you so damn sadistic? You're spending so much energy bringing others down for no reason. It won't make you feel better about yourself. Why?
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Kai the guy 3 years ago
Okay, I'm leaving this comments section, it is full of transphobic depressing bs. I don't care what you believe. I really don't. I'm done trying to prove you wrong. I will now just ask you to be quiet and leave us alone. Please. You're talking about hurting this boy, please, as if you care. I'm crying, and that's not usually something I'd admit, but you need to know that YOU are the ones hurting people. I can tell you this, but I'm not sure you'll listen: I am also thirteen, and trans. I am proud to be who I am. I promise you that I am not doing this for attention. I need you to know that I love myself. Even though sometimes it's hard. Even though sometimes it seems like it would be easier to live a life as girl. Even though sometimes I feel it might be easier to not live at all. I love myself. And you have hurt me. But I will NOT be forced into silence by you assholes. I love this story. And I'm kindly asking you to leave this post. Please. To my fellow trans peeps- Stay strong!
Aski Markup 3 years ago
I wanted to be a cat, a dog, a fox, a horse, a dinasour and whole host of other things throughout my teenage years. So don't come at me, but I sure as hell hope they don't begin hormone treatment or what not at such a tender age.
Dana 2.0 3 years ago
Actually, if the kid sees a doctor and is confirmed to actually have gender dysphoria or a similar condition that would make them want to change their appearance to be more male, then the sooner they start HRT (hormone replacement) the better. That way, they won't have to suffer through as many years with a body they hate.
Load More Replies...
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
I hope he gets a lot of therapy before he commits to transitioning. Plenty of kids that age just use Tumblr too much and are all kinds of labels, until they grow up and realise they’re not.
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
He didn’t say anything about transitioning. If he identifies differently in the future, all power to him, but he doesn’t need therapy. It’s also a huge assumption to say that he identifies as a male due to a website.
Load More Replies...
unusual spider 3 years ago
Nobody is acting as hateful as you David. What a twisted mind.
Load More Replies...
Baker Jeremiah 3 years ago
hello if you are just reading this like i am watch out for comments made by some dude named david, he's very transphobic. stay safe
Kai the guy 3 years ago
@David retsler Wooooow your ass must be jealous of all the s**t coming out of you.
Load More Replies...
Todorokie-dokie 3 years ago
Dude. David. We all know that you think a thirteen-year-old child coming out to their parents means they’re “delusional” already, okay? It doesn’t matter what they feel like right now if, in your opinion, they’ll stop feeling like this later. As for the mom, how can you slap a label on her just because she’s popular on social media? HER KID WANTED TO COME OUT. NOW THEY ARE OUT. Please, stop spreading negativity to what was supposed to be an inspiring and uplifting post. Negativity is a disease, love is the cure.
The Pansexual MELONLORD 3 years ago
I love everything about this so f*****g much. I should do this for my parents.
Phoenix 3 years ago
I support the LGBQTIA+ Community being apart of it myself and support him being a boy. But he is a 13 year old, 13 year olds change. When I was 13 everyone around me, and I mean everyone except for one friend all said they were gay, Bi and if I remember correctly one person said they were Pan. No less than 2 years later most of them come back saying they’re actually just straight. Now I’m not saying force him to act like a girl or to wear girl stuff, just don’t do anything drastic that can’t be changed like surgery. The mind isn’t fully developed till you’re 20, that’s why a lot of age laws revolve around that age. Otherwise I’d like to say that pamphlet is pretty good and you’ve raised your kid right if he can be open like that with you, and the fact you accepted him. My parents still won’t except the fact I don’t believe in their religion and constantly say stuff like “I’m praying for you” They also don’t believe in Trans people so I don’t stress too much over it.
mermaidgirl960 3 years ago
Phoenix, I agree with you on this statement. You put it into great words. People should take some time to think about who they really are, but that doesn't mean they should be forced into a gender role. I cannot believe people think they can pray something out of someone's DNA. They can't help their gender, and it's sad when people don't accept them. Gender and sex are two different things.
Load More Replies...
deanna woods 3 years ago
In these times that we are in right now, it's always refreshing to read something about a child who knows who they really are. I don't know anything about the mother or what she is writing articles for, but I had a college professor that said that if your child comes out to you as trans that it is a life or death situation to take this seriously. I can't imagine what it is like to be trans, but I can bet that it is not easy for the person or anyone in their life.
Patricia Sloan 3 years ago
I know this is an older post but I'll share my story. My older son came out to me 3 days before he turned 14. (Side note, I am a very sarcastic person) So I was in my room watching tv and he texted me mom I'm gay. I wasn't shocked, when he was five he wanted a pea coat, but my sense of humour kinda backfired when I replied, there's no way you are gay. It took him about 5 minutes to reply before he said, you're mad? And I said no, but you are a friggen slob and and everyone knows gay men are very neat and tidy. I got dead silence before I texted him, Aidan, you have every right to love and be loved like everyone else. Funny enough I met his father at a gay bar, his sister is gay and I have a lot of gay friends. fatheractuallcalled me
Kim Lorton 3 years ago
I’ll be me, and you’ll be you, we will celebrate together, our awesomeness, however we want to! When the son shines bright, and we bask in your glow, May you always know that you, are the light , when the darkness grows. I will always love you, for just who you are, part of me, forever more.. All the best, an admirer of you and your sun!
Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
I'm pretty sure this teenager figured it out and was sharing it with his parent. I didn't see any pressure. In fact, I saw an incredible example of how to deal with your teenager figuring things out!
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Felix Feline 3 years ago
Around 80-94% of children "grow out" of being transgender, so while it is important to support and love one's transgender kid it is critical that they not be given gender-changing drugs and surgeries till they are adults.
Ben Smith 3 years ago
Downvote all you want, but at 13 you don’t know anything. Most importantly, you don’t know what you don’t know. Maybe this will workout for this person, but making this decision at 13 is impossible.
Star 3 years ago
It’s not a full-time decision, they aren’t asking for surgery or anything like that. If they realize they identify as a different gender later, that’s okay. That’s the point of your teenage years, anyway.
Load More Replies...
Star 3 years ago
That’s not the same comparison. Is a bird a gender? No? Then be quiet.
Load More Replies...
Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
If you hate to say it, why did you write it? You wanted people to agree with you and make yourself feel better because you know you're wrong.
Load More Replies... 
Joe Reaves 3 years ago
Dot-ter, ugh - only 13 but already making comments that qualify as dad jokes! And flaming ball of gas isn't a bad description of a teenage boy, lol.
Jamma 3 years ago
That's what I was thinking, having had a teenage brother! >.< lol
Load More Replies... Animal lover❤ 3 years ago
The comment section is i sad strange place, go no further. Congrats to him for finding himself, I hope that they live a wonderful life❤
Dippin Dot 3 years ago
I followed her account for a while, and I just so happen to notice a pattern - first, she had a GoFundMe because her ex left when she was pregnant and was supporting her and her 3 other kids alone. Ok, cool. Then she made headlines (even here on BP) because she reserved seats on a train but some entitled couple took them and wouldn't give them. up. Now she has this story. As much as I'm a LGBTQ advocate, I'm kind of over this particular persons stories.
Amanda MW 3 years ago (edited)
Hi there, I'm the writer you're discussing and would like to say that I've never mentioned any of this for clicks. I have a platform and there have been times that some of the things I've tweeted have taken off. 99 percent of the other things haven't. I have fantastic children who I'm incredibly proud of and always ask their permission before I share anything. Regarding the gofundme, I was desperately in need of help and had no where to turn. As always, my incredible community of friends on Twitter came through during a very dark time. During better times I had always tried to reciprocate and help when I could, and I do hope most people recognized that. I hope that in the future, maybe instead of posting something questioning someone's integrity on a public forum, maybe just reach out. My DMS and email are open and I'm always happy to connect with anyone who legitimately wants to converse. Wishing you and yours a Happy New Year.
Load More Replies... Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
What a strong child she's raised, and one who knew they could trust her.
Cori 3 years ago
David, I'm so sorry for the awful trauma in your life. I can't imagine how painful it must be to loose people you love in such a tragic way. Knowing the origin of your pain, your negative comments make a lot more sense. There's even some legitimacy buried in all the harshness. You are right. These are frequently very fragile people who are dealing with some extremely heavy things. However, I believe the answer is ALWAYS love and support. We all need to know we are loved no matter what. We all need a safe haven that we know will be free of judgment. I think THAT is the best possible thing you can give someone when they are trying to navigate something this emotional, life altering and, let's face it, often crushingly controversial. I can't fathom the enormity of everything trans people face. One would have to be made of absolute steel to be able to navigate all of that and not need therapy. There is just too much to unpack alone...
Load More Replies... s. vitkovitsky 3 years ago
The brain doesn't fully develop until people are in their 20s, which is why you're not allowed to vote, drink, or drive, and, usually, marry until you're a certain age. Most people don't make any career decisions until they're no longer teenagers, either. There's no scientific basis for being allowed legally to make this sort of decision when you're still a child, and your brain hasn't matured enough yet to think about it more deeply and clearly. This isn't about supporting or not supporting trans people, this is about making sure that they are sure.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I mean it’s just a kid that wrote a note. I was “sure” I was going to be a meteorologist when I was a kid but it’s not like that’s a legal issue now when I’m not. The kid isn’t getting hormones and surgery, they’re just saying how they feel. Some people seem like they can’t make their own personal opinions or choices without knowing what the courts think first.
Load More Replies... Moo Moo Futch 3 years ago
Absolutely not all cringey but 100% the best coming out I've heard and from a 13 year old who clearly is wiser than their years. Love him!!
unusual spider 3 years ago
David why are you so damn sadistic? You're spending so much energy bringing others down for no reason. It won't make you feel better about yourself. Why?
Load More Replies... Kai the guy 3 years ago
Okay, I'm leaving this comments section, it is full of transphobic depressing bs. I don't care what you believe. I really don't. I'm done trying to prove you wrong. I will now just ask you to be quiet and leave us alone. Please. You're talking about hurting this boy, please, as if you care. I'm crying, and that's not usually something I'd admit, but you need to know that YOU are the ones hurting people. I can tell you this, but I'm not sure you'll listen: I am also thirteen, and trans. I am proud to be who I am. I promise you that I am not doing this for attention. I need you to know that I love myself. Even though sometimes it's hard. Even though sometimes it seems like it would be easier to live a life as girl. Even though sometimes I feel it might be easier to not live at all. I love myself. And you have hurt me. But I will NOT be forced into silence by you assholes. I love this story. And I'm kindly asking you to leave this post. Please. To my fellow trans peeps- Stay strong!
Aski Markup 3 years ago
I wanted to be a cat, a dog, a fox, a horse, a dinasour and whole host of other things throughout my teenage years. So don't come at me, but I sure as hell hope they don't begin hormone treatment or what not at such a tender age.
Dana 2.0 3 years ago
Actually, if the kid sees a doctor and is confirmed to actually have gender dysphoria or a similar condition that would make them want to change their appearance to be more male, then the sooner they start HRT (hormone replacement) the better. That way, they won't have to suffer through as many years with a body they hate.
Load More Replies... Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
I hope he gets a lot of therapy before he commits to transitioning. Plenty of kids that age just use Tumblr too much and are all kinds of labels, until they grow up and realise they’re not.
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
He didn’t say anything about transitioning. If he identifies differently in the future, all power to him, but he doesn’t need therapy. It’s also a huge assumption to say that he identifies as a male due to a website.
Load More Replies... unusual spider 3 years ago
Nobody is acting as hateful as you David. What a twisted mind.
Load More Replies... Baker Jeremiah 3 years ago
hello if you are just reading this like i am watch out for comments made by some dude named david, he's very transphobic. stay safe
Kai the guy 3 years ago
@David retsler Wooooow your ass must be jealous of all the s**t coming out of you.
Load More Replies... Todorokie-dokie 3 years ago
Dude. David. We all know that you think a thirteen-year-old child coming out to their parents means they’re “delusional” already, okay? It doesn’t matter what they feel like right now if, in your opinion, they’ll stop feeling like this later. As for the mom, how can you slap a label on her just because she’s popular on social media? HER KID WANTED TO COME OUT. NOW THEY ARE OUT. Please, stop spreading negativity to what was supposed to be an inspiring and uplifting post. Negativity is a disease, love is the cure.
The Pansexual MELONLORD 3 years ago
I love everything about this so f*****g much. I should do this for my parents.
Phoenix 3 years ago
I support the LGBQTIA+ Community being apart of it myself and support him being a boy. But he is a 13 year old, 13 year olds change. When I was 13 everyone around me, and I mean everyone except for one friend all said they were gay, Bi and if I remember correctly one person said they were Pan. No less than 2 years later most of them come back saying they’re actually just straight. Now I’m not saying force him to act like a girl or to wear girl stuff, just don’t do anything drastic that can’t be changed like surgery. The mind isn’t fully developed till you’re 20, that’s why a lot of age laws revolve around that age. Otherwise I’d like to say that pamphlet is pretty good and you’ve raised your kid right if he can be open like that with you, and the fact you accepted him. My parents still won’t except the fact I don’t believe in their religion and constantly say stuff like “I’m praying for you” They also don’t believe in Trans people so I don’t stress too much over it.
mermaidgirl960 3 years ago
Phoenix, I agree with you on this statement. You put it into great words. People should take some time to think about who they really are, but that doesn't mean they should be forced into a gender role. I cannot believe people think they can pray something out of someone's DNA. They can't help their gender, and it's sad when people don't accept them. Gender and sex are two different things.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 3 years ago
In these times that we are in right now, it's always refreshing to read something about a child who knows who they really are. I don't know anything about the mother or what she is writing articles for, but I had a college professor that said that if your child comes out to you as trans that it is a life or death situation to take this seriously. I can't imagine what it is like to be trans, but I can bet that it is not easy for the person or anyone in their life.
Patricia Sloan 3 years ago
I know this is an older post but I'll share my story. My older son came out to me 3 days before he turned 14. (Side note, I am a very sarcastic person) So I was in my room watching tv and he texted me mom I'm gay. I wasn't shocked, when he was five he wanted a pea coat, but my sense of humour kinda backfired when I replied, there's no way you are gay. It took him about 5 minutes to reply before he said, you're mad? And I said no, but you are a friggen slob and and everyone knows gay men are very neat and tidy. I got dead silence before I texted him, Aidan, you have every right to love and be loved like everyone else. Funny enough I met his father at a gay bar, his sister is gay and I have a lot of gay friends. fatheractuallcalled me
Kim Lorton 3 years ago
I’ll be me, and you’ll be you, we will celebrate together, our awesomeness, however we want to! When the son shines bright, and we bask in your glow, May you always know that you, are the light , when the darkness grows. I will always love you, for just who you are, part of me, forever more.. All the best, an admirer of you and your sun!
Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
I'm pretty sure this teenager figured it out and was sharing it with his parent. I didn't see any pressure. In fact, I saw an incredible example of how to deal with your teenager figuring things out!
Load More Replies... Felix Feline 3 years ago
Around 80-94% of children "grow out" of being transgender, so while it is important to support and love one's transgender kid it is critical that they not be given gender-changing drugs and surgeries till they are adults.
Ben Smith 3 years ago
Downvote all you want, but at 13 you don’t know anything. Most importantly, you don’t know what you don’t know. Maybe this will workout for this person, but making this decision at 13 is impossible.
Star 3 years ago
It’s not a full-time decision, they aren’t asking for surgery or anything like that. If they realize they identify as a different gender later, that’s okay. That’s the point of your teenage years, anyway.
Load More Replies... Star 3 years ago
That’s not the same comparison. Is a bird a gender? No? Then be quiet.
Load More Replies... Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
If you hate to say it, why did you write it? You wanted people to agree with you and make yourself feel better because you know you're wrong.
Load More Replies... 
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