People Share The Most Toxic Things Their Parents Have Told Them In This Horrifying Online Thread

One third of Americans regret their life choices and wish they could do things differently. But big things start small. Many of us do regret the words we uttered, things we said to people, especially to those who are closest to us.

It’s no secret that words have power to heal, but they can also hurt deeply. Especially when you’re at your most vulnerable, still being a kid with the vast world waiting to be explored. Things our parents say shape us in profound ways, some good, some inherently harmful.

So people on r/AskReddit are now sharing the things that should never, ever be said to children. From divorced parents screwing up their kid’s mind with manipulation to telling them they’re “useless,” the answers on the thread are cruel enough while being read, let alone being said to a small kid.

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My drunken father once told me, "You'll never be the man that I am." I remember thinking, "You're damn right I won't be."

p38-lightning Report

Final score:

372points

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"you don't have the right to privacy", "you are a child, you have no rights", "at least I'm putting a roof over your head", "I wish I never had you".

TennisOnWii Report

Final score:

235points

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'It's all in your head/you are just imagining it.' As it turned out, I wasn't imagining it and now I struggle to differentiate between what's real and what's not because I was led to believe I was imagining things constantly.

Missing_Maestos Report

Final score:

229points

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To find out more about how the things parents tell their kids can affect them and what damage it may cause on a profound level, Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang from “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who’s a certified life coach, teaching adults and teens. Susan said that a lot of our emotional dysfunction can originate with childhood experiences and messages.

“One of the most prevalent that I see is low self-esteem, which can result in anxiety, the inability to interact effectively in society, and being used and abused by the psychic vampires and bullies of the world,” she said and added: “Believe it or not, bullying, aggressive, and entitled behavior can also be caused by low self esteem!”

We had you so your brother would have someone to play with.

SwearWords Report

Final score:

171points

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Trash talking about the other parent, then comparing you to them. 'You’re just like your father!'

nbryan88 Report

Final score:

168points

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"I am not asking you do to it, it is an order!" "Why did I give birth to you?" "I wish you were never born." "You are ruining my life." or "You ruined my life." "How dare you disobey me." "You are a disappointment." Or any insult tbh. Or comparing you to other kids, or to your siblings.

Ok_Ingenuity_1426 Report

Final score:

160points

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Susan Green 3 years ago

What kind of parent would say this to their children? You would have to be a very abusive person to talk to your kids like this!

62points

Raine Soo 3 years ago (edited)

My mother called it 'tough love'. Sure. She would never call it abuse. I think she even complained that we kids abused her.

16points

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Gin 3 years ago

It's more common than people realise sadly.

10points

CrunChewy McSandybutt 3 years ago

I have bad news for you regarding the state of the human race...

5points

Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago

A lot more than you think. I grew up hearing this all the time and that's the real reason why I didn't have any kids of my own.

4points

M Kate McCulloch 3 years ago

lots and lots and lots of parents say things like this to their children. One of the reasons sex ed should be taught everywhere, birth control should be free and easily accessible, and abortion legal.

3points

K Tigress 3 years ago

Someone who is not in their right mind and mentally ill. Someone who is drunk or all of the above. Someone who is just out right nasty. Take your pick.

1point

random panda (she/her) 6 months ago

mine tells me that daily and im only 13

0points

shortcake seizure 1 year ago

her: what kind of parent would say this to their child? me: who thought it was normal for all parents to say it once a day

0points

Sharon Walls 2 years ago

Not really, you would have to be a frustrated, angry human being who lets stupid words fall out of your mouth without thinking.

0points

Carrie Roettger 3 years ago

My mom started saying this kind of stuff the exact day my dad died. In the waiting room of the hospital right after the doctor telling us he had passed she looked dead at me and said "I have nothing to live for anymore". At first I wrote it off to shock but there was more through the years. I was less than 3 weeks from my 13th birthday when he died. She later told me she wished I had dies instead of him, he'd be so disappointed in you and on and on. The worst was probably her threatening to kill herself to keep me in line.

0points

Night Owl 3 years ago

Exactly, an abusive parent

0points

Big,Ern MCCracken 3 years ago

spare the rod, spoil the child, my parents sent me to catholic school where the teachers were the "Old Time" nuns that didnt put up with clowning around, you were there to learn.......the first day my mother dropped me off she said "now if your bad, they're going to hit you". i had wised up after the 5th slap across the face and after that it was "yes sister, no sister" to this day when i pass a nun i always say "good morning sister".........i was in the hospital and a nun came in the day after my surgery on one of those scooters, i immediately got out of bed and said "good morning sister" she said "oh please, stay in bed" and i said "that's OK sister, you guys trained me well".......had a great visit with her talking about going to catholic school when i was young and ended with "hey sister? i never got a beating i didn't deserve and thank you for that"

-3points

Floofy Husky Puppy 3 years ago

Don't have kids if you wish they were never born

5points

Jessica Aubé 3 years ago

I am not asking you to do it it is an order is a pretty common theme with a pre teen or teenager who constantly argues How dare you disobey me Nothing wrong with that either , sounds like a frustrated parent

5points

K Tigress 3 years ago

There are better ways of doing things. Parent needs counseling and well as the whole family.

-2points

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Aileen Grist 3 years ago

My parents constantly told me that my elder brother wanted to be an only child - he was 2 when I was born. This has led to him telling me that I ruined his life by being born. He's 69 now both parents are dead and he won't have anything to do with me because I ruined his life.

3points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

If my parents ever told me "we wish you were never born" i would make sure they wouldn't see me again and be bothered from my presence!

1point

Hidden Gen-Z 3 years ago

Common when you come from a brown muslim family

1point

Diane Aguilar 2 years ago

Or a brown Latinx family. Or perhaps just a brown family period, LOL.

0points

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Darlene Brinks 3 years ago

The teachers would compare our two sons and that would make me so mad because they were two different boys. Our oldest had no problems and things came easy to him. while the youngest struggled/

1point

Cori 3 years ago

My mom once told me I was ruining her marriage. My untreated depression made it difficult to get out of bed and get ready for school in the morning. As a result I had missed the bus again and she had to drive me to school. She forced me out of the still moving car on the street in front of the school because I was also making her late for work.

1point

AG Panda 2 years ago

Well, this things are said to me on daily basis, it feels normal now*sad sigh*

0points

Moon_Rey 3 years ago

My mom would compare me to my sisters because my sisters have better grades than me she would say things like “If they can have good grades so can you the stuff they learn is more difficult and it’s easier for you” LIKE NO IT IS NOT MOM IT ISNT EASY IM SORRY IM BAD IN SCHOOL

0points

Rachel Li 3 years ago

Yes. True

0points

Gacha and goanimate deathkid Studios 3 years ago

That what would a complete idiot would do SAYING THAT PHRASE JUST BECAUSE IT IS A FRICKIN GREAT IDEA!!!!!

0points

Jay Weigel 3 years ago

That first one....

0points

Candacej Alagappan 3 years ago

My parents always favored my older brother, and what I got in trouble for, he didn't. My parents made it very clear he was the favorite.

0points

Josey Griffin 3 years ago

Gee I thought my parents were bad, but nothing like that was ever said to any of us.

0points

Cathy Carey 3 years ago

Why can't you be more like...

0points

Laura Enez 3 years ago

You owe me respect because I had you!

0points

Gregg Bender 3 years ago

My sister told my niece that she wished she had her aborted. Neither of us talk to my sister anymore. Bonus points: My sister is a pro-life fundie.

0points

Kelzbelz79 3 years ago

My god you poor, poor soul.

0points

Bobby 3 years ago (edited)

I guess that first line needs more context. I believe its absolutely fair to let your kids know when something is a request and something isn't. For me it is usually I'm not asking you to tell me where you're going, you either tell me, or you don't go. The rest is pure trash

0points

Sam rice 3 years ago

Straight up f***ed up

0points

Ash Trash 3 years ago

The worst is "I'm not trying comparing you but..."

0points

ButterScot 3 years ago

My father-in-law once told my wife "having your derailed your mothers education and frankly set us back in life". We don't talk to him anymore.

0points

Easily Excitable Panda 3 years ago

My mom would pull that with me. She'd look into the distance, sigh, and say, "I wish I'd never had children. I could have done anything with my life if I hadn't had children."

0points

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When asked about the things one should never say to another person, Susan said that it’s things like “'I hate you!' 'Don't be stupid!' 'Don't you ever learn?' or, 'Why can't you be more like your brother?'”

“Are you dismissive of your child's opinion, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to you? Sometimes it's not words, it's behaviors that create bad feelings. Do you ignore your child? Do you comfort them when they're crying, or do you let them 'cry it out'? Do you and your partner fight in front of the kids (especially when it concerns them)?”

'So you're saying that I'm a bad parent' in response to any form of help-seeking or constructive criticism was the worst for me.

Derpchieftain Report

Final score:

142points

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Constantly comparing you with your older siblings and giving you extremely different treatment. It makes you feel inferior to them and like no matter how much you try or do, it will never be enough.

mo95z Report

Final score:

136points

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'You’re being dramatic' or 'Quit being emotional', 'why are you being difficult', 'you make things so hard on me', 'someone else has it worse so stop crying'.

Sxthu , VividTangerine Report

Final score:

134points

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The good news is that the right words and behaviors have the power to not only heal, but also build self-esteem, teach compassion, and provide examples of what healthy relationships look like. Susan explained how a parent should do that: “Listen to your children. Use reflective listening to engage them. 'It seems like you're upset. Want to tell me what's happening?' 'I'm hearing that you're really frustrated. Let's see what we can do to solve the problem.' 'I feel like you're very angry that I won't let you go out with your friends. Do you understand why?'"

#10

Making fun of your kid for making a change in their life for the better. I was always anti-social and the complete opposite of athletic. When I began to try and work out to gain some muscle, I got teased by my parents. All that did was discourage me and make me want to quit.

ScrapDraft Report

Final score:

133points

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#11

I gave up everything I liked for you

95? Why not 100?

why can't you be like so and so's child, they do 'one impressive thing'

Average_jaded_guy Report

Final score:

128points

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#12

I have a list.

I wish I [terminated my pregnancy]

I wish I put you up for adoption.

List all the bad things about dad and then immediately tell me I look/act just like him.

What did I do to deserve such a disrespectful child why couldn't I have a good one? (I was not a bad kid at all, always home, cleaning the house, cooking for her, good grades, people pleaser, etc.)

She wonders why I never talked to her about big things happening in my life, why I put 5,000 miles in-between us, and why I haven't returned home for almost 10 years.

amt628 Report

Final score:

126points

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Meanwhile, the tone of your voice is also crucial as Susan said it's the setpoint for the conversation. “Do you want to have a discussion, or a fight? Stay calm. If you or your child is getting upset, take a break. 'I feel like I'm getting angry about this. Can we take a 10 minute break and finish the conversation when we're both calmer?'”

Sometimes, it’s a disciplinary issue that needs addressing, and in those cases, Susan suggests using the XYZ Limit Setting Statement. For example, “'When you do X, I feel Y, and I'd like Z.' For example: 'When you go out with your friends without permission, I get angry and anxious. I'd like you to tell me where you're going from now on.'”

#13

I think probably the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child is any form of, 'Nobody will ever love you as much as I do' or 'I'm the only one who really loves you.' It's the psychological equivalent of a bear trap. Its purpose isn't just to hurt the kid, but to keep them from ever leaving.

S_thyrsoidea Report

Final score:

125points

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#14

Any time your mom talks about how much she weighed when she was your age. 'When I was your age, I weighed 98 pounds.'

sprucecone Report

Final score:

113points

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#15

In my experience, any time divorced parents say stuff like: 'Don't talk about that to your [other parent],' 'Tell your [other parent] this,' or 'Your [other parent] is trying to manipulate you.' It really screws with the kid's head.

Loa_Ex_Machina Report

Final score:

112points

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At the same time, every parent should make sure to have consequences for bad behavior that fit the crime. Susan said that “you wouldn't ground your child for 2 weeks for not putting his plate in the dishwasher, and you wouldn't take his phone away for a day if he got caught shoplifting.”

#16

When I was 11 I overheard my mother telling someone that at least my looks meant she didn’t have to worry about me being [touched]. That [screwed] me up for years.

M_Ad Report

Final score:

103points

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#17

My mother told me when I was 8, that nobody likes a fat girl. I wasn't even really overweight. That and many other things she said and did made me develop an eating disorder...at the age of 8. More than 30 years later, and a lot more mental abuse, I still struggle with the whole eating thing.

WhiteGirlGrooves Report

Final score:

93points

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#18

after i got accepted to my dream college my mom told me i’m too stupid to actually go and succeed. i graduated high school with honors. but i thought she was right. i dropped out before i even went. still regret it

rad-butt Report

Final score:

92points

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“Another great strategy for communicating with your children is to ask yourself, 'What effect will these words have in the long run? What will I teach my child by saying this?' Is what you're saying going to teach them that it's OK to shout at others? That they're 'bad'? Put yourself in their position. What are they experiencing?”

According to the certified life coach, “children’s reality is much different from what we experienced when we were that age,” and if you're not sure, just ask!

#19

I wish you were the one who [passed away] not your father.

SchrecklichXy Report

Final score:

89points

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#20

As your mother, I have to love you, but sometimes I really don’t like you.

hissandrunaway Report

Final score:

86points

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#21

"I understand but I don't respect you" - My mother after I came out twice. Some people think that's not a big deal. It is huge and it f***ing hurts so much.

Cookie_Wolfe Report

Final score:

86points

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We also talked to Kimberly Koljat, a licensed marriage and family therapist who said that “it is true adults often underestimate children’s capability of understanding the world around them, which can even have a negative impact on children and their sense of self.”

Not only can parents deeply hurt them by choosing the wrong words to communicate themselves, but the way they look at their child can cause a sense that children’s beliefs and thoughts are not to be trusted or that they’re invalid. “It later creates difficulty in setting boundaries, making decisions, or maintaining a positive sense of self,” said Kimberly.

#22

"I'm glad that you're adopted it reminds me that you don't have my dna" "you're not a part of this family" and even in early years like 6 and 7 years old "you're not special. You are nothing and never will be something!"

DrShoreRL Report

Final score:

80points

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#23

I wish you were never born

AmunPharaoh Report

Final score:

79points

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#24

My dad once told me he missed when I was a little kid, because back then I was dependent on him and couldn't say no.

I told that to a psychiatrist and her eyes damn near fell out of her face.

ipakookapi Report

Final score:

77points

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#25

"You're a useless disappointment" "Do you think you'll ever amount to anything?" "You're pathetic." "You're like a tiny little ant-- I could destroy you so easily." "I don't deserve you. I'm too good of a parent for you." "You're an abuser."

15083randomthoughts Report

Final score:

72points

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#26

“We had you so you could donate organs/plasma etc to your sibling” like that film my sisters keeper.

pjwy Report

Final score:

67points

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#27

I never wanted to have kids with your dad. He forced me to have you.

But_like_whytho Report

Final score:

62points

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#28

my mum told me i deserved nothing in life because i forgot to do the dishes before she came home lol

ilikechurch Report

Final score:

61points

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#29

"Look 'x' kid is doing it better than you"

"Look that kid is 'x' year old and they can do it"

I-Am-The-Warlus Report

Final score:

60points

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#30

"You're the reason why your dad and I almost divorced."

3_angels Report

Final score:

59points

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Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

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What do you think ?

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Hannah Edwards 3 years ago

My 10 year old son is going through some anxiety issues at the moment. If my husband tells him to “Toughen up” one more time I think I might have to poke him with a pointy stick.

33points

Viviane 3 years ago

Your son shouldn't have to worry about whether or not his father will still love him. Your husband is a wimp if he can't handle someone else's anxiety.

23points

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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

A child's toughness is not a reflection of a parent's toughness, so I will sharpen the stick for you. I was on the wrong end of a father like that, and he was.... well, I got out, but it never left *me*, y'know?

11points

Lunar Bicycle 3 years ago

Your husband is being an insensitive jerk, but I recommend for your son’s sake trying a little diplomacy. Perhaps you can convince your husband to switch his messaging to, “I know you can get through because you’re tough, and I’m here for you.”

7points

Chenandoa 3 years ago

I'm prone to anxiety (like my mom), but I didnt know what that was until recently. I am more likely to get mad if I'm anxious. Toughen up? Yeah right...does your husband have any fears like needles? Tell him to tough up for that. Real men dont need to criticize others, and can handle emotions (or at least not criticize them at all)

3points

Mimic 3 years ago

Unprofessional/unsolicited advice: I hope you two can have a conversation about what it means to be a man in today's society and how words like "toughen up" make anyone bury whatever feelings they are experiencing. You could also try mimicking, when/if your husband whines you could mirror his behavior so maybe he could see how those words aren't productive. I hope your son can work through his anxiety and bravo to you for recognizing it and trying to help.

1point

Carol Emory 3 years ago

Your husband needs to quit being a tool. You can't make anxiety go away by telling someone to "toughen up." I would not be surprised if your husband is the root cause of your son's anxiety. Best thing you can do for your son is get him into therapy and away from your husband.

0points

Kari Panda 3 years ago

I studied to become a vet, but failed. That was 14 years ago. Became a trainee in a library, got a job there and have been working there for 13 years now. To this day, my mother tells all her neighbours, friends etc. that I‘m a vet because she‘s so ashamed of me.

24points

Viviane 3 years ago

Respect! My husband is a reference librarian. I told him that archeologists found ancient tablets neatly lined up: "The world's first cataloguers!"

15points

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Materyst 3 years ago

I'm sorry to hear that. Being a librarian is nothing to be ashamed of. Librarians educate, and that is a great thing!

7points

Lunar Bicycle 3 years ago

Your mom is an idiot. Librarians are awesome.

4points

TheLazyPoki 3 years ago

Honestly, I want to become a librarian. I love books and quiet places, so I think that might be the right job for me :)

3points

Kari Panda 3 years ago

Thank you everyone for your support. I sincerely appreciate it. I assume my mother doesn’t really have a problem with me being a librarian but with me being 'too stupid' to succeed at my studies. I do love my job very much though.

2points

Gin Marie 3 years ago

You're a librarian?? I'm retired military and if people valued people like you, I wouldn't have had that job. Librarians make veterinarians POSSIBLE, for pete's sake.

2points

ALM, BLM, Y'know. 3 years ago

I LOVE READING! D'you have any book recommendations (I quite like dystopian😊) bc I'm out of books. as @Viviane said, RESPECT!!

1point

Nadia Montera 3 years ago

When I was 17, we were holidaying in Spain with my cousin and my parents. One evening after dinner I was laughing with my cousin in the living room when my dad came from his bedroom and slapped me because my laught was annoying him. My mother did not say anything (as she did not say anything during my childhood when he was beating me when I was not obedient enough or tried to voice disagreement...) I don't speak to them anymore nor want any relationship with them

18points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

Good for you. Piddle on them both.

5points

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Mimi M 3 years ago

Ouch. I'm not going to read it, it will just be saddening. But did come here for the comments. Sending hugs to all who might need it.

15points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

Its horrible how cruel people can be with their kids. I am sending a big hug to all of them. Things that ny father said to me: "You are lucky that your mother loves you so much if not...", stupid, retarded, jerk, extremist, idiot... That when he wasnt giving me the cold shoulder. After he told me the first sentence I swore to never sleep there again.

12points

Charlie Dingo 3 years ago

“I wish you would stop focusing on your dysphoria and depression and work on your grades.”

10points

Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago

LOL, right? God I heard this so much. Sorry for the both of us!

1point

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Call Me Mars 3 years ago

I am adopted, and my bio relatives told my birth parents that "if you give her up for adoption their not really ours," "you should just abort them," "I'm not related to them." I'm turning 16 on the 8th of May and I have never seen any of my bio aunts or grandparents. I have seen one of my cousins, however. I have also found letters from my birthdad saying that his father wanted me aborted. My own grandfather. I see my bio parents every other year, however. (My pronouns are they/them so I used them while talking about me.)

9points

Gin Marie 3 years ago

Good riddance! You escaped them. I hope your adoptive parents are good to you.

4points

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Alexandra Nara 3 years ago

Toxic parents are worst, you grow up and get used to abusive relationships,believing you deserved this. Hard way there to raise your selfesteem, heal and find new ways and perspectives. Kudos to who all battle this fight. You deserve way more love and awareness than this

8points

Lil 3 years ago

We used to have a ceremony. My dad would come inside the house screaming, I would wait for him, he came into my room, looking for a reason to tell me I did something bad (finding a bowl, untidy clothes,library book) and then hit me anywhere people won't see. Then the really bad part happened- my mom would come in and say she's sorry but I shouldn't have done the thing he was using as an excuse. It took me years to learn that it wasn't my fault. She still blames me every time something goes wrong in her life and later apologize in a "it's your fault " kind of way.

8points

Cori 3 years ago

I'm so sorry you went through that. It's so difficult to process that kind of awfulness, both from your dad AND your mom, and move past that. I think we need to form a bored panda support group for childhood abuse survivors.

9points

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Aamina Gabralla 3 years ago

Toxic is toxic. Period

8points

Christina Schulte 3 years ago

"I'm going to break my sobriety tonight and it's all your fault for pissing me off". "Your mother would be so ashamed of you if she was alive". "No wonder *abusive ex's name* gets mad at you".

7points

Cori 3 years ago

Holy crap that is so messed up! No child should have to have that put on their shoulders.

5points

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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Too many of these applied to my life. And it sucked. then older siblings join in on younger siblings, sometimes. Or vice versa. To "ally" with a parent(s). Such parents teach tehir children to be cruel. Not good.

6points

Cori 3 years ago

This happens a lot. The opposite can also happen though because sometimes siblings rally around each other. Personally, I felt guilty as hell when I left home because I kind of acted like a sheild for my younger brother who also had ADHD and attracted way too much negative attention from my controlling, perfectionist step dad. He ended up handling better than I did though. Turns out he was really good at recognizing the bullsh*t for what it really was. Bullsh*t.

5points

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Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Mine: "you're fat and ugly no wonder you don't have any friends". Age 14

6points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Ah geez. I got vresions of body shaming by age 8. Still fighting that an dthe ggaslighting "Oh, it's just you being too sensitive" .... and I'm 50.

5points

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ejfs 3 years ago

"Stop being so sensitive." "Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" "Stop being so miserable." "Grow up a bit!" "Stop acting like an idiot/three year old." "Have some respect." "I'm not angry that you tried to k*ll yourself, I'm angry that you did it in MY house." I could go on forever....

5points

Cori 3 years ago

I am so sorry. Your parents will probably never say it but you need to hear it from someone. You did not deserve that and you are worth every bit of love and respect a person can give. I still struggle from being told I'm a f*ckup who needs to get her sh*t together over and over. I know how it feels to be absolutely starved for positivity. We are so much better than they say we are. YOU are so much better. **Big hugs**

3points

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Chillace 3 years ago

i was once told to "open this door, or ill snap your neck like a pencil" really messed me up for a while

5points

Cori 3 years ago

That is NOT an okay thing to say to a child!

4points

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Hans 3 years ago

No child asked to be born. Parents have no right to blame their misery on them. And every human is precious, from day one on.

5points

J. Ryan 3 years ago

Heartbreaking. My parents are the reason I never had children.

4points

Cori 3 years ago

I went the opposite way. I needed to prove to myself that a parent can be loving and supportive and positive, so I try like hell to be that for my kids. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have some really amazing kids and they seem like they're turning out alright so far. They're the absolute center of my universe and I'm grateful as hell that they exist.

4points

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N G 3 years ago

I'm glad these all came with context or examples this time, as one or two of the word choices on their own dont have to be toxic. "You're just like your dad!" was a compliment to my best friend growing up who idolised his father. "I'm so disappointed in your choices" is a perfect valid thing to say to a 17 year old who borrowed the car and went drinking with his mates. HOWEVER, there is no world in the multiverse where "I wish you were never born" and similar should ever be said to a child. That's not to say these aren't perfect valid feelings for a mother (especially one with possibly undiagnosed postpartum depression) to have, but they should NEVER be vocalised within the hearing of said child - save it for the GP/mid-wife/therapist/girls night out.

4points

Kim Bush 3 years ago

Found out recently that my mother told my teenage boyfriend that I wasn't good enough for him and that was why he had broken up with me. Over the years he has had 4 unsuccessful marriages and I've been stuck in an abusive relationship. Me and him reconnected a few years ago and still feel the way we always had (that's when I found out what my mother had said to him). I have too many health issues that I will not burden him with now, and we both know we were cheated out of the last 34 years together.

4points

Cori 3 years ago

That is so messed up! People forget just how damaging and life altering words can be.

1point

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Antoilene du Toit 3 years ago

My mom once told me and my friend that she(my friend) was so pretty and we(my friend and I) should go into business together. I could be in all the 'before' photo's and she could be the 'after' pics. I never had a good self self-esteem and after that it was even worse. I never went to visit that friend again. I confronted my mom about it 10 years later and she denied ever saying that.

3points

Suzy the observer 3 years ago

Yeah, mine's the same. They "lose" memory of every shitty thing they said rather than admit they were awful parents.

1point

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TheLazyPoki 3 years ago

I have one, "your words don't matter if I couldn't hear them." I am a relatively quiet person irl, I have a soft voice and a stutter, so it's definitely hard to understand me sometimes :|

3points

Kit The Dudess 3 years ago

2 weeks after my first child was born my mother came to stay. Midnight I woke up & could smell cigarette smoke in our open plan house. I went downstairs to find my mother drunk on whiskey & smoking at the dinner table. She was writing a poison pen letter to my husband (since divorced). I sat down after asking what on Earth she was playing at. She then said with a vile look on her face & a vicious tone in her voice “Your father always loved you more than me. How do you think it feels, knowing that for 25 years my husband loves you more than me?!” I was speechless and numb. That has never left me.

2points

Tim Haight 3 years ago

The asshole that knocked up my mother told my pregnant wife that she is so fat she could squash our child. Never saw that drunk asshole ever again. May you rot in hell.

2points

the redqueen 3 years ago

Let me share this secret with you all, that I learned from one the few friends my mother used to have: When a parent says those horrible things to their children, " your worthless", "you never amount to anything", " your ugly", " I hate you", ect. Ect. ...They aren't really saying how they feel about you. In fact, they aren't really even saying it *to you*. And the crazy part, is even the parent doesn't realize it! They are speaking about how they *really* feel about *themselves*. Deep down, buried inside, how they truly see themselves. They are looking into a mirror, when they see you; and this doesn't mean that you are "just like them"-in fact, it's the reason they *dont* see you-just themselves; remember the saying that little kid bullies " only want to make you feel as insecure and bad as they feel, on the inside"? Parents can do this via their children, and never realize it. It was never that you were defective-you had a defective parent. This can change the course of your life.

2points

Fred Burrows 3 years ago

I was born hearing impaired . My mother would slap me in the face for 'mumbling' on a daily basis. I could go on and on , but to what purpose?

2points

Hooman 3 years ago

My parents once told me when I was about 7 or 8 that if they got divorced, it would be my fault... classic

2points

Amber Raina 3 years ago

i hate when parents not only tease their kids during their awkward years, and then say things on facebook like "my kid was really shy during their puberty time blah blah blah" .Shut the F*ck up

2points

Chaotic_pansexual 3 years ago

“You make me feel like a terrible parent when you *random action” “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it (no matter how I speak)” “quit rolling your eyes at me! (I never roll my eyes intentionally. I have Tourette’s)” “you just need to get over it (any time I mention my anxiety or depression or insecurities)”

2points

Mark Grudzinski 3 years ago

My mom's father was physically and mentally abusive to her. Whenever her and I would get into an argument, and if I had the upper hand, she'd always say I was just like her dad. How messed up is that?

2points

Piper McLean 3 years ago

I wish I could walk up to every toxic parent, slap them and give them a loooong lesson on parenting

2points

MiaOokami 3 years ago

One time my mom was talking to me about how she was afraid I might try to end my own life. I could tell she was stressed. But then she said, "I'm just really worried that you're going to do it, and everyone is going to ask me 'Why didn't you realize' or 'Why didn't you do anything?" I know she was probably saying it would cause her regret, but it really made me feel like she only cared about me for her own image (which is a recurring thought I have). So just a reminder, if you're ever talking with a child about suicide, be careful not to make it seem like it's all about you. It's just upsetting to hear.

2points

TrickQuestion 3 years ago

"No one is ever going to love you the way you are"

2points

Whimsy 3 years ago

My mom said the same.

0points

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Ionescu Popa 3 years ago

30 some out of 42. They were very busy, poor them, "giving me an education".

2points

D. Pitbull 3 years ago

Ahh... yes... toxic parents... so common that I thought this was "normal" until I reached adult age. The phrase "Only a face a mother could love" - I literally didn't understand what that meant until, as an adult I figured out "Oh. Mother's are supposed to love you and think you're wonderful because you're their child" - my mother would *gleefully* - yes, GLEEFULLY like she was telling the funniest joke - tell people all the time how terribly ugly I was when I was born, and then lament about what a failure I am currently. She'd threaten "If dad and I divorce, it's YOUR fault"... "We had another child because you were such a disappointment"... "We want to kick you out, but that would make us look bad" - that was just daily talk. Mom made sure I knew how ugly I am though - she'd get her friends to comment on it too.

1point

Whimsy 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

Whimsy 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

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Squisheeeeee 3 years ago

My dad used to tell me I'm prettier than, smarter than, better than, etc, my sister. Sounds like a compliment on the surface, really f****d me up making me compare myself to her all the time. Also "if you wanna cry, I'll give you something to cry about". Meaning, crying because you're emotional isn't a valid reason to cry, so stop or I'll beat you because physical pain is the only valid reason to cry. Happened often. Oh and let's not forget how he brainwashed us (mom, sister, me) to believe no one in our extended family liked us. Because he didn't like them and didn't want us to be invited to family holidays. My poor mom still lives like that with him. I wish she would leave.

1point

Carol Emory 3 years ago

My mother reminded us on a daily basis that she gave up a career and her freedom to raise us kids, so we should be grateful. She also made sure that we knew how relieved she was that school had started so she could have her freedom. Then she also made sure to tell me that my brothers and sister were planned pregnancies and that I was an accident. She used to proudly state how she had a hysterectomy right after I was born to make sure that never happened again.... Then she wonders why we never come around anymore. Well..you wanted your freedom...

1point

J Adams 3 years ago

This was a hard read. I’m adopted and every post here is something my adoptive mother told me, I’m not being over dramatic to say my childhood was very much like Cinderella doing chores constantly whilst their biological children are snacks and watched cartoons. It took me to the age of 30 (5 years ago) to find my biological mother and thankfully almost all the hurt has now been replaced with love, support and a true family

1point

Elena S 3 years ago

When I was 14, I was upset about something in my bedroom, I was just weeping. My dad saw, came in & asked what happened, I told him I didn’t feel like talking about it & somehow that got him so pissed that we didn’t talk for a full year after that. It was the most miserable time of my life because I was tiptoeing around the house & he was so silent or stopped talking whenever I enter the room. It was so uncomfortable to be in the same room with him so I withdrew to my room a lot. Mind you, I made an effort to talk & he either ignored me or walked away. Almost a year after that, it was his birthday & I wished him happy birthday with such anxiety that I was surprised he said thank you, few weeks after that he started acting normal & talking again...

1point

Elena S 3 years ago

The only discussion about that whole experience was one time a few months after he started talking to me again, we were talking about something else & he casually mentioned that I disrespected him because I didn’t tell him right away what I was upset about... that ruined any trust I had left for him. I could never look at him with any ounce of respect after that... I’m there for him if he needs because he’s my father but this is the reason why I don’t share my life stories with him, put as much distance as possible & move away to another country, and I rarely call him unless I feel bad that it’s been too long. It might extreme as it’s been 15 years since that happened, but I have no trust left for him & I don’t know how to go back to where we were in our relationship before this happened...

1point

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Gabby M 3 years ago

I hope all of these kids realize that they are worthy, and that they deserve sooo much more love and validation.

1point

Pamela Carter 3 years ago

I heard so many of these. My mother told me that if anyone (especially the 1st boy I fell for in HS) does like you they won't when they get to know you. I couldn't talk to him again for fear he would "get to know me". I developed social anxiety. I'm 66 and still have it.

1point

yut lung 3 years ago

Where are all of your parents I swear I just wanna 'talk'

1point

Jaguarundi 3 years ago

My parents are the reason why that I am not a parent myself.

1point

John Montgomery 3 years ago

There's something that my dad said a few times that's been on my mind lately. He'd say "If we were ever to fight I'd win. You know why. At some point you'll think 'I shouldn't be hitting my father'. I'll have no such compunctions so I'll win". At the time it always made me wonder if family is something that should stop violence, why wouldn't a son do that too? Then I think about how I'm not a violent person. I was only in one "fight" in grade school. I put it in quotes because I'm not sure it counts. I didn't hit the guy. He was my bully since kindergarten, and he said or did something that just made me snap. It was close to seeing red with rage. I don't even know what I was trying to do. I ended up just throwing my arms around his neck. I guess trying to choke him, but as I said, there was no actual thought to it. It was broken up before anyone got hurt, and I didn't get in trouble. I still remember how that felt, and I don't want to feel that way again.

1point

Jo Firth 3 years ago (edited)

No-one will like you if you do that. Cute babies don't grow up cute - look at you. Children ruin a good marriage ( my response to this was "how would you know, you never had a good marriage). You're too thin skinned ... and on it went.

1point

Cadmar Orion 3 years ago

I realize after reading this how great my parents are and I'm so lucky my parents aren't abusive

1point

Quinn Alexander 3 years ago

I've pushed down and forgotten every horrible thing my father said. It was mostly to my mum anyways. I just call him "The Idiot" in conversation now, and hope he gets hit by a high speed vehicle.

1point

Catherine Spencer-Mills 3 years ago

It's hard to "like" these as I would prefer to "care". "I don't love little girls who do that." I don't even remember the incidence, I was 3. Mom says she found me hours later hiding and still crying. At least she didn't do it again. Later: "Your butt is so big." "Your boobs are so small." "I hope you have a child just like you." I was with her shopping for a slip for her to wear to a wedding. In front of the sales girl, "Are your boobs as small as they ever were?" Staring at said boobs. I still hate my body and I am 70 now.

1point

Mimic 3 years ago

A lot of this [non professional opinion] sounds to me like projection. The parents have their own insecurities or remember their parents saying those things to them. I have my own words which you wish tou could forget and they leave a mark forever no matter how good/or bad your relationship is with said parent[s]. The hardest thing one can do is try to be better. Be better not just toward your kid but to complete strangers, a little bit of kindness can completely change someones day.

1point

Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago

Oh man, where do I begin? I'm a 50 year old child of a narcissistic alcoholic mother. I'm not going to finish because it would be too long. Let's just say that toxic parents are real and trying to be a functioning adult with healthy relationships are not easy when you're completely effed in the head.

1point

Zadie the Swiftie 3 years ago

I tried to tell my father about my low self-esteem and he replied by listing the one time he didn't ask me why I didn't get an A+ instead of just an A

1point

Gin Marie 3 years ago

My mom told me once that God gave my beloved tougher-than-hell toy poodle-loving uncle cancer because I was a bad girl. I was 12.

1point

Guido Pisano 3 years ago

Scolding when they tell you they did something wrong and/or saying you should have done that. It is the way that they wont tell you anything.

1point

random panda (she/her) 6 months ago

i wish no one has to go though any of this ever again

0points

Candy corn 2 years ago

Once i told my mother that i sometimes thought about suicide and she screamed at me and called me weak. This thread reminded me of that.

0points

Lightningstar 3 years ago

My mom stole my journal, read it, and sent pictures of it to my dad

0points

MIA J RODRIGUEZ 3 years ago

She would ask why she couldn't have gotten a kid that listened to her. Ask why she even got pregnant with me in the first place. Tease me for my interest in guys (Since she was a homophobe i never told her i was omni) Rejected me when i came out as enby. Would tease me for my weight. Called one of my friends ugly to her face because she ¨Didn't have enough makeup on to hide those hideous freckles¨ (I started dating her in highschool and we broke up when we started college) She once burned up my notebooks with fantasy animals and stories that i had worked on since middle school. (I was in highschool at the time) And so much more:)

0points

MIA J RODRIGUEZ 3 years ago

My would threaten to commit suicide if we (Me and my younger sisters) (I'm the oldest child) didn't listen.

0points

Cocoa Beanz 3 years ago

I'm in the process of breaking generational curses. Praying that I don't give my future children a childhood they need to heal from.

0points

Fxnglhl 3 years ago

i dont really call this 'toxic' but its really annoying. so me and my sister sleep in the same room, and my mom told us to clean the room and it has to be clean by like 9 PM. it was 7 30 PM and we did what my mom told us to do, then like 99% of the room is all complete. then at 9 PM my mom checked the room and looked at that one spot where its not cleaned yet, ignoring almost all our hard work.

0points

Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago

whenever I cry or act out, "we tried so hard to have you, we wanted you so much" no. you didn't want ME, you wanted a NORMAL CHILD.

0points

Madb vonMesser 3 years ago

I literally got told "I completely forgot you existed" when getting picked up from school, in December, at 19:30. School ended at 14:30.

0points

Chloe Patt 3 years ago

I was mentally abused as a kid and I don't want to have kids myself. Human aren't perfect and I know how easy it is to screw up a child's life. And life itself is hard enough already. I don't want to bring someone into this life and subject them to the cruelty that is life and impose my imperfect parenting on it on top of it all. I'm ok with adoption because those children have already been brought to life and now they need help, but not my own - my could-be children can be happy in the 'nothingness'. My friends don't get it - most want kids cause they want to see their cute dna running around - which is pretty selfish, egoistic and idiotic reason to bring a human into this life in my opinion.

0points

Rachael Rachael 3 years ago

My mother attempted suicide, and then blamed me. She is not even my mother, simply the person who raised me - I'm adopted....

0points

ALM, BLM, Y'know. 3 years ago

Mine are: 'Urgh stop being such a drama queen you only want attention' and after I came out as pan 'YOU DAREN'T TELL ANYONE ELSE, I'm so ashamed of you, I hate you and so will everyone else.' and when I told them I wasn't Christian and I practice witchcraft they teased me relentlessly and cheered on my brother when he made public fun of me and shoved me around up until they reduced me to tears twice. They also outed me many times, even after I asked them not to repeatedly I no longer tell them about any relationships for fear of what may happen and I let them use the wrong pronouns for me because I don't want to tell them I use others. Don't get me wrong, they're good people, kind, but they have very little respect for who I am, and they don't seem to understand how badly toxic they act, and how it upsets me. I still love them they're just a bit ignorant. But I'm so grateful for my mum, she's always so supportive of me. Love you fam, no matter how much your words hurt! (Excluding Mum)

0points

ALM, BLM, Y'know. 3 years ago

Not gon lie that's a bit long but I also want to say I hope you all have a great family no one deserves what is shown on the ??article??.

0points

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Michelle Geiger 3 years ago

I couldn’t finish. I scrolled past the last half because it was hurting my heart thinking of all the children that are hearing this.

0points

Kat 3 years ago

DUring my childhood, I really hoped my parents would finally get a divorce. They never did. I still can't forgive my father for how he ruined my childhood with his constant drinking and unstable behaviour. At least me and my sister didn't get beaten up (he never got to that), but I'm still struggling with depression and anxiety. He doesn't drink anymore, but I just can't get over the past.

0points

Shun 3 years ago

My dad asked me to format his report and it's taking too long. He said "If I pay money, I could've slapped someone and made them do this fast". I'm never gonna forget that. You just have to accept that some people do not deserve goodwill.

0points

Erik Granqvist 3 years ago

I do not beleive my parents has ever said something toxic to their kids. They are the most kind and awesome people - I am.almost 50 years old, and I cannot remember once when they were disrespectfull or horrible. Angry when any of us did something stupid - sure - but never horrible about it.. Just saying most parents are actually awesome!

0points

Amery 3 years ago

I got to the mid 20's and.. done. Nope, can't. GOD BLESS YOU PEOPLE (kids?) that went through this. I just want to hug you .. ALL.

0points

Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago

Do stepparents count? One time when I was about 13, I went to a restaurant with some of my family members, and apparently I did something minor that upset my stepmom. She wouldn't let it go, and for the whole car ride home she ranted to my dad about how bad of a person I am (while listing things that had nothing to do with what just happened) while I was right in earshot!

0points

Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago

Honestly, though, I could probably write a whole novel on shitty things my stepmom has said. Not long ago, my stepbrother was asking for a mental health break (while crying, I might add) because and I quote, "Sometimes I just don't feel like myself". His mom responded "Oh, you're just making excuses!"

0points

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KatCloud 3 years ago

My mum compares me to all of her friends’ kids. My brother and I are anti-social and not athletic. She always tells us how inactive we are and compares us to everyone else. Then she starts complaining about how ‘we didn’t have this when we were younger’. Well, what do you want me to do about it? My whole family blames my bad attitude off me becoming a teenager. Like, what do you want me to do about growing up?

0points

Sky Render 3 years ago

I won't even talk about the most toxic thing my father said (and did!) to me, but let's just say it took me 30 years to un-repress the memories and realize that I had been a girl my entire life...

0points

Kusotare 3 years ago

My niece regularly calls her daughter "Demon Child" and "Devil Child", and wonders aloud why anybody would want to have one of these things (children). Every time I hear her say something like that, I want to slap the s**t out of her. Niece is pretty f'd up herself. She wanted something to love her, so she got a puppy. My brother ended up taking care of him. She got a cat. Her BF ended up taking care of that. She got pregnant. Nobody really takes care of her daughter, who gets passed around to her grandmother, her other grandmother, her dad, and her grandfather and stepgrandmother.

0points

Selina Ali 3 years ago

I didn’t read all of these some of these just were too close to home. I haven’t spoken to my family for 10 years & I'm glad I did. Cut out negativity in your life & just watch how you flourish.

0points

Judi Michelle 3 years ago

I cut my toxic mother out of my life when she announced that the biggest mistake she made in her life was not getting an abortion when she was pregnant with me.

0points

Christopher Chaaban 3 years ago

"You're a worthless bastard, just like your father, and you'll die alone like him too!" - "All you'll ever deserve is to die in prison" (I wasn't even a criminal) - "I f*****g hate you, I've NEVER liked you, you disgust me!" ... parents can be vile, inhumane monsters.

0points

Doctor Strange 3 years ago

"Get out of my sight. I don't even want to look at you. You make me sick."

0points

Wolfowl 3 years ago

Some of the worst things my parents did to me? Let's see, my dad fat-shames me, not helping with my body dysmorphia, and my mom spies on everything I do and emotionally abused me as a child.

0points

Jen Smith 3 years ago

I was told by my toxic mother that she never wanted kids. That she only married my dad to escape a abusive home and promptly divorced my dad once we were all married and out of the house. She told me I didn't turn out the way she wanted. Her biggest issue was how our actions made her look bad. I'm glad I didn't turn out like her! I never felt loved by her.

0points

SuePrew 3 years ago

I hung out with my best friend almost every day. My mom said she only did that because she didn't have anything else to do.

0points

Zelda Blue 3 years ago

My husband's older brother died when my husband was 6 and he was 8. When my husband was a teenager his mother said to him in front of his friends "why couldn't it have been you that died instead of Wayne." His friends told me this after we were married, I wanted to hit her in the head with a pan and take that evil hag out.

0points

Suzy the observer 3 years ago

"You'd be beautiful without the acne" She never took me to the dermatologist. "Why are you so fat?" Cause your boyfriend abused me and I'm trying to disappear. "No one ever loved you! I've always hated you!" Same here bitch. So many other hurtful things... Not everyone should have children.

0points

Don't Look 3 years ago

I guess it’s not necessarily toxic but my mom always compared me to my niece. She claimed to be in college full time, have a job and half a dozen other things. Turns out she was lying (she got fired and she failed out) but the part that really stuck was that “why can’t you be more like....” was just gone one day. Basically I wasn’t ever the child she wanted me to be.

0points

Mimi M 3 years ago

Super-depressing, can do without posts like this.

0points

marianne eliza 3 years ago

Birth control.

0points

Casey McAlister 3 years ago

Probably not the worst, but I hate this " You should be grateful I gave birth to you". It was your choice. Even if somebody forced you, it sure as hell wasn't me.

0points

Toni_0794 3 years ago

I grew up with a mother who didn't believe kids could suffer from depression and stress . I was basically forced to suppress my thoughts and emotions I'm 26 now and she constantly tells me I need mental help, she finally admitted that she should've taken me to get help when I was a kid. My mental health has been out of wack the majority of my life and it's just getting worse.

0points

Ida Frøslev Pedersen 3 years ago

My old boarding school sent out their annual newsletter. My mom's comment? "Pfft. I can't believe they would waste a stamp on you."

0points

Rens 3 years ago

That is never amount to anything - this was from my stepfather, he was both physically and emotionally abusive. When he died in June 2018 I could finally feel freed. Because of his behaviour, abuse was normalised; I have Asperger's Syndrome so emotional stuff doesn't come easy to me. I am finally in a stable healthy relationship with a decent man.

0points

Alicia Miller 3 years ago

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0points

Amber Raina 3 years ago

i hate it when parents tease their kids about their awkward years, but still make articles saying bs like "oh my kid was really shy about puberty blah blah blah" shut the f**k up

0points

KT 3 years ago

I could def add to the list on here. Both my parents were absolutely horrendous. I didn't know what love was until I met my husband and realized how neglected i'd truly been. Even my friends parents were sad for me and would give me new clothes for my birthday because i was forced to wear my brothers hand me downs they never wanted to buy me anything. Christmas I was treated like garbage and given basically such while watching my siblings get royally treated and gifted wildly expensive things. When it was time for college and university applications my mom told me i wasn't smart enough or couldn't handle it for every profession i considered.

0points

iblowsheep 3 years ago (edited)

I have always been a creative person, doing artwork, making holiday decorations, etc. and when i would do something and my Mother saw it she would say s**t like "That is wonderful. Why don't you do something with your talent?" ya know because i didn't just draw this thing then sometimes it woudl be "you are wasting your life. you could be making big bucks but you just don't have initiative." And even when i got a job that i really worked hard for doing digital imaging, she said she doesn't understand why I wasn't in some big art studio. When i tried to explain to her that many artists don't support themselves solely on their art and that i never had any interest in doing that for income, she'd shake her head and tell me i was just making excuses or i was lazy

0points

Mohammad Ammar 3 years ago

This isn't so so bad. She just doesn't seem to understand the nature of the work you do. These types of parents are really common in Asia. At least she suports your creativity.

0points

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alicia Kondrad 3 years ago

Yes...kids remember...i must have been about 4 when my dad gee i would love a little boy like that...talking about my little cousin playing outside...i am 53 an have never forgotten that statement...i dont think he meant to hurt me but words hurt

0points

Joseph OReilly 3 years ago

Every time I read one of these threads, I realize how genuinely insane my parents are. Fun times

0points

Raven Waters 3 years ago (edited)

I grew up under a very strict religious mother. I am an adult now. My mother and I have a good relationship- I told her years ago, she is never to speak to me about religion or God. I was told that I was going to Hell a lot, and that Jesus is the only way to have a life. I told her next time she mentions anything about God, the church, Jesus- I will sever all ties with her. I have strong boundaries. By the way- I think 'heaven" and 'hell' are here on earth. We are born alone. We die alone. Everything in-between is a bonus.

0points

Shelli Aderman 3 years ago

My heart! 💕

0points

Borkin 3 years ago

Excuse me what the hell is wrong with these people

0points

Leigh Currie 3 years ago

I had a brother who died in infancy, before I was born. My mother said once " I wish you had died instead of John".

0points

jamie1707 3 years ago

"I wish you were never born" and "You should be dead" are things that my older sibs have been screaming at me since I was old enough to understand. They still say it to me when they have had enough to drink. They are now miserable, rotten, elderly sad sacks. They show every year of their age. I'm none of those things, which drives them nuts.

0points

MAnahP 3 years ago

- How can I love you when you remind me of your father It still haunts me now 20 years later

0points

Uber Mensch 3 years ago

"You're so smart!", "You're smarter than this!", and so on - but always shut down my ideas, suggestions, or anything else I put forth. Wouldn't even hear me through; just dismissed me out of hand.

0points

Robyn Washnok-Gomez 3 years ago

My father told me he never wanted children. The only reason he had us was because my mother pushed him. Such a sweet sentiment for an insecure 9 year old to hear. Just warms the soul. It was such fun being raised by a narcissist.

0points

Jennie-Lind Normand 3 years ago

My mother pretty much told me she thinks I'm a horrible human being. I think she's deflecting because she's the one that lies, cheats, steals, and has been in prison (more than once). She wonders why we don't have a good relationship. My dad never wanted kids and had no problems telling us that. He openly mocked my mental illness but when he was suffering from depression he expected a pity parade. They've been divorced for more than 30 years and still pull the 'your mother.....' 'your father...' bullshit stories. They wonder why I drink when we get together as a 'family'

0points

Cori 3 years ago

I have a few from my mom. For the record, I love her and am protective as hell of her because I think her parents really messed her up as well. That being said she really did a number on me as a child/ young adult. My parents divorced because my dad was abusive and couldn't seem to keep a job. I later came to realized his reasons for this was undiagnosed ADHD and depression. That doesn't give someone license to be abusive, obviously, but knowing these things gave me the ability to see it from more than one angle. My mom sees only one angle and if we show any kind of positive feelings toward our dad, even when we were young kids, then we're choosing him over her. She also got remarried to a man who was an abusive control freak. I got blamed as the reason why they argued. Then when I was 19 I confessed that a friend of mine was not just a friend but a girlfriend. Her response? 'I hope you got that out of your system.'

0points

Auggie LaBonte 3 years ago

I hate this post :(

0points

Joey Marlin 3 years ago

Even today I heard a small boy chatting really nicely with his mother. He wasn't pushy or asking anything odd, he was just curious about the products for sale. The questions weren't coming constantly and he was polite and quietly spoken. There were considered pauses after the replies and he seemed, honestly, a sweetie. His mother in tones of sheer exasperation 'could you just be quiet and stop asking me things. Even for just one minute. Could you not give me one minute. Why do you always have to be asking questions, I need one minute, can you be quiet for one minute'. To his credit he didn't say another word. I know I saw only a snapshot and who knows what she's going through but it did seem an overreaction to what was probably only 6 questions in as many minutes. I always wonder if they're like that in public, when people do hear and judge, what are they like in private. Not condemning her but it seemed such a shame when he was actually behaving beautifully.

0points

Lady Artemis 3 years ago

"I'm the parent, and you're the child. I don't have to explain anything to you"

0points

Deanna Crichley 3 years ago

You don't have the brains God gave a flea.

0points

Toni Lilly 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-1point

POST

Hannah Edwards 3 years ago

My 10 year old son is going through some anxiety issues at the moment. If my husband tells him to “Toughen up” one more time I think I might have to poke him with a pointy stick.

33points

Viviane 3 years ago

Your son shouldn't have to worry about whether or not his father will still love him. Your husband is a wimp if he can't handle someone else's anxiety.

23points

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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

11points

Lunar Bicycle 3 years ago

7points

Chenandoa 3 years ago

3points

Mimic 3 years ago

1point

Carol Emory 3 years ago

0points

Kari Panda 3 years ago

24points

Viviane 3 years ago

Respect! My husband is a reference librarian. I told him that archeologists found ancient tablets neatly lined up: "The world's first cataloguers!"

15points

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Materyst 3 years ago

I'm sorry to hear that. Being a librarian is nothing to be ashamed of. Librarians educate, and that is a great thing!

7points

Lunar Bicycle 3 years ago

Your mom is an idiot. Librarians are awesome.

4points

TheLazyPoki 3 years ago

Honestly, I want to become a librarian. I love books and quiet places, so I think that might be the right job for me :)

3points

Kari Panda 3 years ago

2points

Gin Marie 3 years ago

You're a librarian?? I'm retired military and if people valued people like you, I wouldn't have had that job. Librarians make veterinarians POSSIBLE, for pete's sake.

2points

ALM, BLM, Y'know. 3 years ago

I LOVE READING! D'you have any book recommendations (I quite like dystopian😊) bc I'm out of books. as @Viviane said, RESPECT!!

1point

Nadia Montera 3 years ago

18points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

Good for you. Piddle on them both.

5points

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Mimi M 3 years ago

Ouch. I'm not going to read it, it will just be saddening. But did come here for the comments. Sending hugs to all who might need it.

15points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

12points

Charlie Dingo 3 years ago

“I wish you would stop focusing on your dysphoria and depression and work on your grades.”

10points

Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago

LOL, right? God I heard this so much. Sorry for the both of us!

1point

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Call Me Mars 3 years ago

9points

Gin Marie 3 years ago

Good riddance! You escaped them. I hope your adoptive parents are good to you.

4points

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Alexandra Nara 3 years ago

8points

Lil 3 years ago

8points

Cori 3 years ago

9points

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Aamina Gabralla 3 years ago

Toxic is toxic. Period

8points

Christina Schulte 3 years ago

"I'm going to break my sobriety tonight and it's all your fault for pissing me off". "Your mother would be so ashamed of you if she was alive". "No wonder *abusive ex's name* gets mad at you".

7points

Cori 3 years ago

Holy crap that is so messed up! No child should have to have that put on their shoulders.

5points

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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

6points

Cori 3 years ago

5points

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Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Mine: "you're fat and ugly no wonder you don't have any friends". Age 14

6points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Ah geez. I got vresions of body shaming by age 8. Still fighting that an dthe ggaslighting "Oh, it's just you being too sensitive" .... and I'm 50.

5points

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ejfs 3 years ago

5points

Cori 3 years ago

3points

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Chillace 3 years ago

i was once told to "open this door, or ill snap your neck like a pencil" really messed me up for a while

5points

Cori 3 years ago

That is NOT an okay thing to say to a child!

4points

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Hans 3 years ago

No child asked to be born. Parents have no right to blame their misery on them. And every human is precious, from day one on.

5points

J. Ryan 3 years ago

Heartbreaking. My parents are the reason I never had children.

4points

Cori 3 years ago

4points

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N G 3 years ago

4points

Kim Bush 3 years ago

4points

Cori 3 years ago

That is so messed up! People forget just how damaging and life altering words can be.

1point

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Antoilene du Toit 3 years ago

3points

Suzy the observer 3 years ago

Yeah, mine's the same. They "lose" memory of every shitty thing they said rather than admit they were awful parents.

1point

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TheLazyPoki 3 years ago

I have one, "your words don't matter if I couldn't hear them." I am a relatively quiet person irl, I have a soft voice and a stutter, so it's definitely hard to understand me sometimes :|

3points

Kit The Dudess 3 years ago

2points

Tim Haight 3 years ago

The asshole that knocked up my mother told my pregnant wife that she is so fat she could squash our child. Never saw that drunk asshole ever again. May you rot in hell.

2points

the redqueen 3 years ago

2points

Fred Burrows 3 years ago

I was born hearing impaired . My mother would slap me in the face for 'mumbling' on a daily basis. I could go on and on , but to what purpose?

2points

Hooman 3 years ago

My parents once told me when I was about 7 or 8 that if they got divorced, it would be my fault... classic

2points

Amber Raina 3 years ago

i hate when parents not only tease their kids during their awkward years, and then say things on facebook like "my kid was really shy during their puberty time blah blah blah" .Shut the F*ck up

2points

Chaotic_pansexual 3 years ago

2points

Mark Grudzinski 3 years ago

2points

Piper McLean 3 years ago

I wish I could walk up to every toxic parent, slap them and give them a loooong lesson on parenting

2points

MiaOokami 3 years ago

2points

TrickQuestion 3 years ago

"No one is ever going to love you the way you are"

2points

Whimsy 3 years ago

My mom said the same.

0points

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Ionescu Popa 3 years ago

30 some out of 42. They were very busy, poor them, "giving me an education".

2points

D. Pitbull 3 years ago

1point

Whimsy 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

Whimsy 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

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Squisheeeeee 3 years ago

1point

Carol Emory 3 years ago

1point

J Adams 3 years ago

1point

Elena S 3 years ago

1point

Elena S 3 years ago

1point

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Gabby M 3 years ago

I hope all of these kids realize that they are worthy, and that they deserve sooo much more love and validation.

1point

Pamela Carter 3 years ago

1point

yut lung 3 years ago

Where are all of your parents I swear I just wanna 'talk'

1point

Jaguarundi 3 years ago

My parents are the reason why that I am not a parent myself.

1point

John Montgomery 3 years ago

1point

Jo Firth 3 years ago (edited)

1point

Cadmar Orion 3 years ago

I realize after reading this how great my parents are and I'm so lucky my parents aren't abusive

1point

Quinn Alexander 3 years ago

I've pushed down and forgotten every horrible thing my father said. It was mostly to my mum anyways. I just call him "The Idiot" in conversation now, and hope he gets hit by a high speed vehicle.

1point

Catherine Spencer-Mills 3 years ago

1point

Mimic 3 years ago

1point

Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago

1point

Zadie the Swiftie 3 years ago

I tried to tell my father about my low self-esteem and he replied by listing the one time he didn't ask me why I didn't get an A+ instead of just an A

1point

Gin Marie 3 years ago

My mom told me once that God gave my beloved tougher-than-hell toy poodle-loving uncle cancer because I was a bad girl. I was 12.

1point

Guido Pisano 3 years ago

Scolding when they tell you they did something wrong and/or saying you should have done that. It is the way that they wont tell you anything.

1point

random panda (she/her) 6 months ago

i wish no one has to go though any of this ever again

0points

Candy corn 2 years ago

Once i told my mother that i sometimes thought about suicide and she screamed at me and called me weak. This thread reminded me of that.

0points

Lightningstar 3 years ago

My mom stole my journal, read it, and sent pictures of it to my dad

0points

MIA J RODRIGUEZ 3 years ago

0points

MIA J RODRIGUEZ 3 years ago

My would threaten to commit suicide if we (Me and my younger sisters) (I'm the oldest child) didn't listen.

0points

Cocoa Beanz 3 years ago

I'm in the process of breaking generational curses. Praying that I don't give my future children a childhood they need to heal from.

0points

Fxnglhl 3 years ago

0points

Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago

whenever I cry or act out, "we tried so hard to have you, we wanted you so much" no. you didn't want ME, you wanted a NORMAL CHILD.

0points

Madb vonMesser 3 years ago

I literally got told "I completely forgot you existed" when getting picked up from school, in December, at 19:30. School ended at 14:30.

0points

Chloe Patt 3 years ago

0points

Rachael Rachael 3 years ago

My mother attempted suicide, and then blamed me. She is not even my mother, simply the person who raised me - I'm adopted....

0points

ALM, BLM, Y'know. 3 years ago

0points

ALM, BLM, Y'know. 3 years ago

Not gon lie that's a bit long but I also want to say I hope you all have a great family no one deserves what is shown on the ??article??.

0points

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Michelle Geiger 3 years ago

I couldn’t finish. I scrolled past the last half because it was hurting my heart thinking of all the children that are hearing this.

0points

Kat 3 years ago

0points

Shun 3 years ago

0points

Erik Granqvist 3 years ago

0points

Amery 3 years ago

I got to the mid 20's and.. done. Nope, can't. GOD BLESS YOU PEOPLE (kids?) that went through this. I just want to hug you .. ALL.

0points

Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago

0points

Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago

0points

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KatCloud 3 years ago

0points

Sky Render 3 years ago

I won't even talk about the most toxic thing my father said (and did!) to me, but let's just say it took me 30 years to un-repress the memories and realize that I had been a girl my entire life...

0points

Kusotare 3 years ago

0points

Selina Ali 3 years ago

I didn’t read all of these some of these just were too close to home. I haven’t spoken to my family for 10 years & I'm glad I did. Cut out negativity in your life & just watch how you flourish.

0points

Judi Michelle 3 years ago

I cut my toxic mother out of my life when she announced that the biggest mistake she made in her life was not getting an abortion when she was pregnant with me.

0points

Christopher Chaaban 3 years ago

0points

Doctor Strange 3 years ago

"Get out of my sight. I don't even want to look at you. You make me sick."

0points

Wolfowl 3 years ago

Some of the worst things my parents did to me? Let's see, my dad fat-shames me, not helping with my body dysmorphia, and my mom spies on everything I do and emotionally abused me as a child.

0points

Jen Smith 3 years ago

0points

SuePrew 3 years ago

I hung out with my best friend almost every day. My mom said she only did that because she didn't have anything else to do.

0points

Zelda Blue 3 years ago

0points

Suzy the observer 3 years ago

0points

Don't Look 3 years ago

0points

Mimi M 3 years ago

Super-depressing, can do without posts like this.

0points

marianne eliza 3 years ago

Birth control.

0points

Casey McAlister 3 years ago

Probably not the worst, but I hate this " You should be grateful I gave birth to you". It was your choice. Even if somebody forced you, it sure as hell wasn't me.

0points

Toni_0794 3 years ago

0points

Ida Frøslev Pedersen 3 years ago

My old boarding school sent out their annual newsletter. My mom's comment? "Pfft. I can't believe they would waste a stamp on you."

0points

Rens 3 years ago

0points

Alicia Miller 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Amber Raina 3 years ago

i hate it when parents tease their kids about their awkward years, but still make articles saying bs like "oh my kid was really shy about puberty blah blah blah" shut the f**k up

0points

KT 3 years ago

0points

iblowsheep 3 years ago (edited)

0points

Mohammad Ammar 3 years ago

This isn't so so bad. She just doesn't seem to understand the nature of the work you do. These types of parents are really common in Asia. At least she suports your creativity.

0points

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alicia Kondrad 3 years ago

0points

Joseph OReilly 3 years ago

Every time I read one of these threads, I realize how genuinely insane my parents are. Fun times

0points

Raven Waters 3 years ago (edited)

0points

Shelli Aderman 3 years ago

My heart! 💕

0points

Borkin 3 years ago

Excuse me what the hell is wrong with these people

0points

Leigh Currie 3 years ago

I had a brother who died in infancy, before I was born. My mother said once " I wish you had died instead of John".

0points

jamie1707 3 years ago

0points

MAnahP 3 years ago

- How can I love you when you remind me of your father It still haunts me now 20 years later

0points

Uber Mensch 3 years ago

"You're so smart!", "You're smarter than this!", and so on - but always shut down my ideas, suggestions, or anything else I put forth. Wouldn't even hear me through; just dismissed me out of hand.

0points

Robyn Washnok-Gomez 3 years ago

0points

Jennie-Lind Normand 3 years ago

0points

Cori 3 years ago

0points

Auggie LaBonte 3 years ago

I hate this post :(

0points

Joey Marlin 3 years ago

0points

Lady Artemis 3 years ago

"I'm the parent, and you're the child. I don't have to explain anything to you"

0points

Deanna Crichley 3 years ago

You don't have the brains God gave a flea.

0points

Toni Lilly 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-1point

People Share The Most Toxic Things Their Parents Have Told Them In This Horrifying Online Thread

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