Minimizing a child’s feelings is a common toxic mom behavior. Some are guilty of telling their kids not to feel a certain way because it is wrong. According to Florida-based psychotherapist Dr. Tracy Hutchinson, this sends a message that feelings are better off suppressed. 

In an article for CNBC, Dr. Hutchinson recommends asking children what they think would make them feel better. She says this trains them to manage their emotions independently at a young age. 

It’s one thing to encourage your child to strive for excellence. Demanding perfection is when things can get problematic. Dr. Hutchinson says it could lead to confidence and self-esteem issues as they grow older. 

“Build mental strength in your kids by making sure expectations are realistic,” she wrote. She adds that setbacks will only teach kids how to bounce back and hopefully lead them to success in the future.

Growing up with a toxic mom can have a profound effect on a person. According to licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson, the inability to trust oneself is one of the few manifestations. 

In her interview with Bustle, she says this mainly happens to people who dealt with a gaslighting mother. As a result, they could suffer a lifetime struggle with self-doubt.

The inability to maintain healthy relationships or a constant attraction to toxic individuals is another by-product of having a toxic mom. New Jersey-based therapist Vanessa Watson-Hill says it’s because emotionally unavailable mothers fail to model a healthy relationship for their children.  

Whether it’s about picking a major for college or choosing an ice cream flavor, indecisiveness isn’t always innate. Sometimes, a mother’s negative behavior could be a catalyst for developing such a trait.

That’s because moms greatly influence decision-making. According to research, those who’ve used psychological control as a primary parenting tactic may negatively impact their child’s sense of judgment when they reach their adolescent years. 

People who grow up with toxic mothers carry that pain their entire life. This is the case for Randi Latzman, owner of the Surviving Mom blog. She created the site as an outlet for the abuse she endured. In one of her recent posts, she recalled the breaking point in their relationship.

“On that fateful day, she told me she didn’t like me and wanted nothing to do with me. I felt like a knife was plunged into my heart,” Latzman wrote. 

The author ultimately decided to break all contact after that argument. According to her, what hurt the most was her daughter’s broken relationship with her grandmother.

Dealing with a toxic mom may feel like coming to a dead end. According to psychotherapist Brittany Boufard in the same Bustle interview, the parent in question may resort to the same cycle of denying your feelings and rejecting the idea of change. 

When the worst happens, most experts recommend seeking professional help. A licensed therapist or doctor could mediate the conversation as a third party. As Watson-Hill points out, a professional could also help adults gain a better understanding, especially about developing healthy boundaries.

Now, we want to hear from you, dear reader. Do you know someone who grew up with a toxic mother? How has it affected their life? And how are they coping? We’d love to know your thoughts in the comments!