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Dr. Esther De Dauw, a comic scholar working on superheroes, gender, race, and anti-hegemonic narratives, agrees that toxic masculinity is deeply rooted in our society. "The stories we tell, our popular myths, films, books, etc, are ways for us to make sense of the world," she told Bored Panda. "A lot of our storytelling is wrapped up in toxic masculinity—it's all about the hero who can stand alone, take care of business, who doesn’t cry or relies on his community."

"We see these stories as kids and the adults in our lives tend to enforce the lessons taken from these stories 'boys don't cry', 'no means yes', etc. And then we become adults and while we might tell different stories, we tend to embed the values we've grown up with in our stories—because to us that's just how the world is, it's our normative world view. Research in sociology and psychology increasingly points to media as a really powerful tool to pass on norms and values, and with the increased media presence in our lives through smartphones, tablets, and binge culture – we’re constantly being influenced."

De Dauw also co-authored a book on the subject. Titled Toxic Masculinity: Mapping the Monstrous in Our Heroes, it's an exciting exploration of the impact of hypermasculinity on the creation of the modern superhero.

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I've been called 'gay' for rescuing a starving kitten and taking it to the RSPCA.

AmunPharaoh , Joe Cleary Report

Final score:

205points

POST

Aroace tiger 3 years ago

So saving a life is gay now? I wanna be gay!

220points

Dr. De Dauw highlighted that when we're talking about toxic masculinity, we're not just talking about general sexism. "Of course, they're related and influence each other, but toxic masculinity is about the extreme rejection of what our culture thinks of as feminine traits (sensitivity, softness, etc) and the adoration of masculine traits (self-sufficiency, stoicism, etc)," she said.

"It's about the shame and pain that men are taught to feel when they're not manly enough and how that leads them to lash out (mostly at women). It's about how the traits of masculinity can become toxic to both men and the people in their lives."

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I got made fun of for wearing lifesaving safety gear on job sites. There are people now who can't taste, smell, or hear properly because they were too stubborn to put on earplugs and safety glasses, since it's 'not manly' to protect yourself apparently.

YikesWazowski_ , Pop & Zebra Report

Final score:

202points

POST

Aroace tiger 3 years ago

Did they at least brag that they were safe? I would.

33points

ChrisIsaPrickX26 , Riley McCullough Report

"So, I’m thinking about the way that when men experience a mental health crisis, they are less likely to reach out for help because it’s not considered manly to be overwhelmed by your emotions or circumstances," Dr. De Dauw said. "Eating disorders, steroid addiction, and body modification addiction have been on the rise amongst young men since the 1980s because with bodybuilding action heroes and superhero films, the culturally ideal body type for men has shifted."

In the UK, for example, 3 times as many men as women die by suicide.

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) Getting sh*t on for not caring about sports. I'm sorry, I just don't want to spend my time watching people run around a field. And no, I don't want to play sports video games either.

Final score:

199points

POST

Vorknkx 3 years ago

Same here. The only time I may show interest in sports is during Olympics, but that's pretty much it.

77points

De Dauw herself has experienced sexism. When she was doing her Ph.D., a fellow Ph.D. scholar referred to her as 'the one with the big b**bs' to another colleague. She has also had students make gender-based comments during teaching evaluations. She has even been harassed on the street.

But, the toxic masculinity that De Dauw has experienced in her life has mostly impacted men she has known who were unable to talk about their feelings or trauma and, due to this inability, hurt themselves, lashed out at her and the other women in their lives.

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) My earliest memory of toxic masculinity was when I was on my first grade basketball team. We got to pick our jersey numbers. I chose 14 because it was my aunt's number, who was a D1 college player at the time. When I told them this, the coaches laughed at me. Apparently looking up to a non-male athlete was frowned upon, even though none of the coaches made it past high school.

TacoHellDriveThru , Chris Moore Report

Final score:

198points

POST

troufaki13 3 years ago

What makes me furious is that THE COACHES laughed. They should be the ones promoting healthy role models!

145points

At this point, De Dauw thinks it's hard to say whether or not we as a society have contained toxic masculinity. "Once you name a problem, it becomes more visible and you identify more instances of it," she said. "We're also living in an increasingly divided world, where a lot of people feel threatened when problems like this are identified and they feel the need to lash out to prevent our rapidly changing world from changing even more—and that also gives the impression that the problem is growing or getting worse."

"I think that, at the very least, we're identifying, thinking, and talking about things like toxic masculinity and that in and of itself is a good way forward," De Dauw explained.

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I got raped by an ex. Nearly everyone I've told starts by arguing the toss that it wasn't actually rape.

ReadingBagder , Andrew Neel Report

Final score:

185points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

That is completely f****d up.

74points

*insert funny name* 3 years ago

Thank god you broke up with her, she's a total A$$HOLE

6points

LesAnimaux 3 years ago

Damn.

63points

Noemie Houtekie-N'Da 3 years ago

That's one word for it.

2points

Bianca Du Toit 3 years ago

If a guy says no and a girl mounts him anyway and his body responds as it naturally would and he still says no and she keeps going, it's RAPE!!! As someone who has been raped, the greatest shame I felt was when my damn f*****g body responded as it normally would, even though my heart and mind wasn't on board!!

47points

AlmightyOne 3 years ago

*hugs you* you ok?

18points

Ami Temi 3 years ago

I'm so sorry for what happened to you! Sending you love, support and hugs. We're here for you.

10points

Noah-It-All 3 years ago

OMG, sending you my love.

2points

Alex Mont 3 years ago

wtf

0points

Full of Giggles 3 years ago (edited)

Years ago, I had a co-worker who was a registered sex offender, but was actually the victim. I personally did his background check so I know his story is legit. This is the condensed version so sorry if a few things don’t make sense. Story goes, his college roommate’s 15 year old sister drugged and took advantage of him [20]. Her brother comes home to find them both naked in the same bed. She decided to cry “rape.” She later admitted in court that she was never raped. The accusation was to cover up her crime. She also admitted to drugging and raping him. It’s on the official record that he was in fact raped. Why is that important? A week after my co-worker was exonerated, he was arrested again for statutory rape. Remember, she was 15 and he was 20. I can’t remember who filed the charges, but basically they said even though he was raped he still had sex with a minor and a crime of that nature cannot go unpunished. So, he went to jail for 6 years for being raped.

20points

Christian Bradshaw 3 years ago

That is the most f****d up thing I HAVE EVER heard. HOW TF DID THAT GET PASSED??? HE DID NOT CHOOSE TO HAVE SEX WITH HER!!!

12points

Marina 3 years ago

...this is heartbreaking...

2points

Brian J 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Lsai Aeon 3 years ago

I feel your pain, friend. I'm a woman and get that exact same line all the time, because it was my husband. No is no, period. And no one should ever be told "No, that's not real" simply because you are male or the person that did it to you is your significant other.

15points

Caleb Lumpkin 3 years ago

this is so sad and true. just because we are male means we cant be raped? we cant be assualted by women? its like the sh*t with johnny depp. women want equality right? thats fine. but s**t like this is ridiculous. it needs to change

15points

Marina 3 years ago (edited)

I agree with you but what does the fact that women want equality have to do with the rest? a lot of people who don't believe men can be assaulted are also men and this imo is one of the worst aspects of toxic masculinity

3points

The Harry Potter person 3 years ago

Talk to different people! If your friends and family are like that, leave them. Trust me. It's worth it. Find people who support and believe you!

9points

AlmightyOne 3 years ago

That is f****d up. I'm so sorry, buddy.

9points

aesthetic.baddie27 3 years ago

Women can rape men, it's not impossible.

8points

JennyBee 3 years ago

thank you...no one ever believes when people say it tho

4points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

He can also be gay.

0points

Alex Mont 3 years ago

until he gets hard

-3points

Bi Kirby 3 years ago (edited)

What the heck is wrong with them?! It doesn't matter the gender of whoever got - insert r word-, YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO FRICKIN TOSS THEM TO THE SIDE CUZ THEIR A FRICKIN MALE!? Imagine if you got physically hurt, went to somebody, and didn't care because of your gender?! It doesn't frickin matter, HELP THEM YOU IDIOTS

8points

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

That type of thing infuriates me

5points

TndX 3 years ago

I'm so sorry

4points

David Retsler 3 years ago

Rape is rape regardless of gender(s).

4points

Samtheperson 3 years ago

Yep

1point

William Abler-Ramirez 3 years ago

S**t dude

4points

Deborah B 3 years ago

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

4points

Mustn’t eat the mango 🥭 3 years ago

I wonder why she’s your ex...

3points

shinshige 3 years ago

Yeah. . . This happened to me when I was a teenager. I get it.

3points

Jenny Pugh 3 years ago

I'm sorry you had to suffer that x

0points

blugeagua 3 years ago

People who believe that are toxic shits.

2points

Luna Lovegood 3 years ago

Well f**k them. They are assholes and need to back the hell off

2points

KombatBunni 3 years ago

Of course it is, regardless of your gender. That’s just awful and I’m so sorry it happened to you. Now, where’s this ex so I can go beat the crap out of her?

2points

Ash 3 years ago

f*****g hell

2points

Dino Wecke 3 years ago

Horribel! 🤬🤬🤬❤️💪🏼

1point

WholesomeArmyweeb 3 years ago

Oh no. That’s awful- I can’t believe that. I’m so sorry. I hope you’ll be ok-

1point

Cyra Goracke 3 years ago

wow! i hope youre ok!

1point

KelBel 3 years ago

This makes me sad. Nobody should be made to feel invalidated. NOBODY!

1point

Sodium Lights 3 years ago

Depending on where you are, it quite probably wasn't - legally. It's disgusting. In the UK it only counts if the victim is penetrated, and in big chunks of America it needs to be penetration with a phallic object. (my memory is hazy - that could be the other way round.)

1point

Lucas 3 years ago

Still would be a crime, Sexual Assault, that a person can be prosecuted for. In UK can get up to 14 years in prison. Rape can get life. Not saying it's sufficient, just that it is there.

1point

Batwench Premium 3 years ago

Want to upvote as this is a real problem , want to down vote because it happened and no one seemed tomtake it seriously.

1point

Abbyboudreaux 3 years ago

I’m so sorry for what happened to you, and that people downplay it so much.

1point

JennyBee 3 years ago

bruh if it was against your will then it was rape

1point

Yoga Kitty 3 years ago

Sorry to hear that - I really hope you have meanwhile found somebody to talk to who takes this as serious as it really is. Sending lots of love and light to you!

1point

Leslie Burleson 3 years ago

I'm really sorry to hear that

1point

Foxy 3 years ago

We ought to show her to Davy Jone's locker.

1point

Ocgale the Nonexistent 3 years ago

WHAT THE F**K. RAPE DOESN'T HAVE A F*****G GENDER. I hope your ex is in jail.

0points

M Kate McCulloch 3 years ago

Sorry. That sucks.

0points

Shawna Kimble 3 years ago

Why is everyone assuming that he was raped by a female? Maybe it was a guy!

0points

Lynn Morello 3 years ago

They weren't there, they wouldn't know. Like I keep telling my son, Don't argue with these people, they don't know now and they never will know. Just be proud of yourself as much as I am proud of you. It took a great deal of courage for you to confide in us.

0points

Ivy 3 years ago

unless something was inserted INTO you it is not such a violent assoult as what women experience. you got tearing? bruises? internal bleeding? it is just not the same as rape.

-3points

Because she thinks the reason toxic masculinity is so embedded is (in part) because of the media, a really hopeful thing for her is that we're seeing more and more push-back against toxic masculinity in media from various audiences. "We are seeing more diverse roles in media, and this includes more diverse ways for men to be men," De Dauw added.

"There are shows that have kind, loving and sensitive men and shows that deal with characters showing these toxic traits and growing past them, [including] Dipper from Gravity Falls when he moves past his crush on Wendy, Soka in Avatar: The Last Airbender when he learns to value women, Captain Picard in the recent Picard series, who has learned to be open and affectionate with the men in his life, and Joel from Santa Clarita Diet who is supportive of his wife and daughter."

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) My favorite color is purple. I've tried to wear purple, and nope, too many dumbass comments.

raymondspogo , Nimble Made Report

Final score:

164points

POST

Tiari 3 years ago (edited)

How sad. My boyfriend likes to wear pink and purple and nobody says anything and I am so happy for him.

90points

In Toxic Masculinity: Mapping the Monstrous in Our Heroes, De Dauw wrote that, "When we consider how popular culture and its stories give us a lens through which we can learn to emphasize with and love those different from us, it becomes clear that representation is a promising start, even if it cannot be the whole our strategy to increase equality."

"Another important step is that we need have these conversations with the men in our lives if it is possible and safe for us to do so," she added. "Encourage men to seek support in their communities, to go to therapy if necessary, to learn how to communicate, and to perform emotional labor–we need to consistently understand that there's no one right way to be a man."

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I always wear seatbelts in cars, but every so often, someone will scoff or poke fun that I put my seatbelt on when we share a cab or an Uber. I don't feel like smashing out my front teeth if the driver gets into a fender bender.

SnooFox5 , Giorgio Trovato Report

Final score:

159points

POST

Matt Hollis 3 years ago

or killing the driver because you smash into the back of his head if you crash

79points

In the academic world, the notion of a singular, perfectly-defined masculinity has been rejected since the late 1980s. Led by the sociologist Raewyn Connell, this school of thought positions gender as the product of relations and behaviors, rather than as a fixed set of identities and attributes.

In her work, Connell described multiple masculinities shaped by class, race, culture, sexuality, and other factors, often in competition with one another as to which can claim to be more authentic. In this view, the standards by which a "real man" is defined can vary dramatically across time and place.

Let's hope that some day theory will become practice too.

About five years ago, I feel into a deep depression. I have been wrestling with the problem since I was a teen. I refused to see counselors for years until I snapped. As a man the expectations are to "hang tough". "Real men" don't need counseling was sort drilled into my head because it exhibited weakness. When I became suicidal, I had to leave my job and quite a few people insinuated I was weak. I sought treatment with the help of a psychologist and a counselor. That's when I realized the "manliness" garbage was toxic. I hate sports, cars and bullshit. I spend my time with my awesome wife not weekends with "the boys" ignoring my family. I haven't looked back since.

RawPower66 Report

Final score:

155points

POST

BlackestDawn 3 years ago

While you have shed your old "boys" I hope you have gotten some new friends that you can hang with, both with and without your wife.

53points

#10

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) Oh another one for me is when I grew my hair out. Most guys called me gay and that it looked girly. Yet, I was dating more women than ever during that time because a lot of the women I dated loved the hair. So I guess being straight is gay?

TacoHellDriveThru , penguinz0 Report

Final score:

151points

POST

brukernavn340 3 years ago

Metal heads beg to differ.

111points

#11

Being harassed by women multiple times and having it dismissed because I'm a man.

paintedCrackWise Report

Final score:

126points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

This pisses me off so much. If men harass women we hear all about it but when it is the other way round it gets ignored.

90points

Cuttlefish_Crusaders Report

#12

Apparently guys are absolutely required to like any attention from a girl even if it's invasive as f**k or borderline rapey.

Final score:

125points

POST

IcyRedWaffle 3 years ago

When people say to a male victim of rape that they should have "enjoyed it"

55points

#13

I work at a grocery store.

I was ringing one day and one of the other register employees was giving this older gentleman a really hard time about wanting a bag to carry his stuff. She said something to the degree of “Come on! You should be able to carry that on your own; you’re a man. You’re supposed to be strong!” The dude had a cane with him. I’m not even sure if she realized what she was saying was demeaning and toxic. I turned around and gave her a WTF look.

She didn’t last too long.

Jshilts85 Report

Final score:

124points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Doesn’t matter if he was young, old, had a cane or had no cane etc, you don’t just say that s**t.

87points

FullMetalDuck89 , Peter Broomfield Report

#14

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) Men in a group tend to sexualize any and all women

I hate that

Also growing up I got s**t for not knowing about cars, like cause I’m a dude I should have the knowledge of a mechanic

Final score:

115points

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Wendillon 3 years ago

I mean...women in a group tend to sexualize men too. You can bet that if we're out for dinner and the waiter is attractive we'll be whispering about his butt.

49points

#15

I am currently in therapy to unlearn all the toxic behaviours I learned growing up. I learned in my 30s that feelings aren't a burden to be suppressed and ignored.

WastaSpace Report

Final score:

115points

POST

troufaki13 3 years ago

So if men have feelings they're gay but if they don't they're insensitive? Did I get it right?

50points

#16

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I remember in high school (I went to an all-boys school), I would go to watch my older sister play hockey, and I’d get made fun of. I never understood what the problem with going to watch a women’s hockey game was, especially one where my older sister was playing.

SharkPerson , Ildar Garifullin Report

Final score:

111points

POST

Shelp 3 years ago

Fellas, is that gay to look at women? (/s)

55points

Billiesoceaneyes , Anastase Maragos Report

#17

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) My old roommate was the definition of toxic masculinity. He told his parents the other night that all other guys who go to the gym are 'betas,' while he is a 'biological alpha' and then proceeded to make fun of out-of-shape people at the gym.

Final score:

104points

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elStiJneriNO 3 years ago

hahahaha an aplha talking with mommie and daddie about how great he is.

148points

mongolian_chicken , Brittany Colette Report

#18

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) Lost power during a cold (and wet) spell pre-covid. As the building management guy who also lived in the building, I was tasked to stay on-site for the entire 10 days to coordinate repair efforts while the rest of the residents left for hotels/relatives' places. On the 7th day, I also got food poisoning and spent the day expelling from both ends while taking time in between to meet with contractors. The then girlfriend came home later that evening to see me pale, dehydrated, shivering, and exhausted in bed wearing all of my snow clothes. She asked how I was, I said "rough" and she went on to say how her day was so much worse because of some office drama. After her rant she asked why I didn't go make myself some tea as if I was stupid enough to not consider it.

She was a self-proclaimed feminist but was always blind to my needs.

Final score:

103points

POST

LesAnimaux 3 years ago

Yeah that's not how feminism works

117points

#19

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) My mother in law told me to stop whining and "man up", we were new parents and I was working nights. The only thing I said was that I was "tired". It's stuff like that. I'm actually clinically depressed, but I never talk about it because I'm 6'3" and masculine so I'm not allowed to feel sad or tired.

DarkPasta , Karina Tess Report

Final score:

102points

POST

elStiJneriNO 3 years ago

man up and throw that bitch out of your house

68points

#20

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) For being straight but exclusively using the gay trainers on Peloton. They are more fun and have better music, sorry not sorry.

rafferty85 , Alora Griffiths Report

Final score:

96points

POST

Chris Jones 3 years ago

They just happen to have good (or the same) taste and be gay, could just as easily have awful taste in music.

32points

#21

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) Mainly how boys are raised to disregard pain and view emotions as a nuisance to be avoided and stifled. It’s helpful for getting things done but not so good for being mentally healthy.

SSDD1 , Mitchell Griest Report

Final score:

92points

POST

Ian Koch 3 years ago

fellas, is it gay to express normal human emotions?

43points

I_dont_even_care1986 , Johnathan Macedo Report

#22

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) When I told someone I was a chef, they told me that career path was for women.

Final score:

89points

POST

Shelp 3 years ago

Well, how different cultures can be!... Here, in France, a woman would be frowned upon if she wanted to be a chef, because it's a men thing. (From the point of view of someone sexist, of course)

101points

#23

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I was expected to be able to chug alcohol and just keep on going. I just can't. I have a low threshold. I can't have like five shots of tequila and go about my business. I'll be a mess.

trappd_under_ice , Jack Ward Report

Final score:

86points

POST

James016 3 years ago

I got a lot of grief for going tee total. Oddly enough the people who gave me grief could not give me any reasoning behind what they were saying to me.

33points

#24

My dad. He's never been wrong about a god damn thing in his life. The solution to a problem he picks is the only solution.

Examples include: lighting fires under our water pipes to thaw them out in cold weather for hours to fix a blockage, setting our house on fire at one point, when it turned out the block was at an elbow that was easily broken loose once mom found it. Another is his insistence on gluing s**t together with silicone to 'fix' vehicles. If I have a bad day, I clearly need a higher dose of antidepressants, as I'm a man and I'm not allowed to have negative emotions. Launching a piece of plastic into my eye breaking open the box of our water valve and it's my fault because I was 'sticking my face in it'

If the man decided he was gonna headbutt his way through a brick wall, he wouldn't stop until his skull broke. He's ridiculous.

R0llsroyc3 Report

Final score:

86points

POST

Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago

You need to stand together as a family and get him out of your life. My mother FINALLY divorced my father when I was 12, and I still suffer from the effects of his toxic behaviour at 51.

31points

Northerncanadianbacn Report

#25

After the final exam, my classmates and I went to a nearby bar to drink our pains away. I ordered a lime Margarita and was mocked by both the males and females that it was a girly drink. Same thing when I ordered a long Island afterwards. (I've now moved to cosmopolitans, since three or four can get me happy drunk, and tastes awesome!)

Final score:

82points

POST

ADHORTATOR 3 years ago (edited)

is a Planters Punch a girly drink? I don't care actually, I will still order one :-)

25points

I_dont_even_care1986 Report

#26

"Cooking is the woman's job" said to me when I told them I like to cook

Final score:

80points

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Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago

America is a backwards country. No-one anywhere else has said this since the 1960s.

42points

#27

I grew up in a cowboy town. I saw a guy fall off his horse and break his leg. He refused to be helped off and insisted in getting back on his horse and riding out. There was an ambulance right there.

DarrenEdwards Report

Final score:

76points

POST

Your Local Fujoshi 3 years ago

that's- wow. So incredibly dangerous.

34points

#28

For not smoking, drinking or doing drugs.

aspiringdatabase Report

Final score:

68points

POST

Marianne 3 years ago

This looks like the envy of people with addiction.

34points

#29

Almost everyone I know has at some point ridiculed or bullied me because I don't like or want a car.

kapitany_szikla Report

Final score:

66points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)

I’m curious if my brother deals with the same thing. He has no desire to learn to drive or get a car. He is happy walking or catching public transport. he feels that a car is too much of a financial burden and would rather spend his money on other things.

38points

#30

People trying to use their size to intimidate or invalidate you.

Squigglepig52 Report

Final score:

60points

POST

magnadar 3 years ago

I remember some trashy scene on MTV, where a big, muscular man (i guess it was a wrestler) took off his shirt and flexed in front of the police desk. They said something like "oh, we now see you're a good man. We are now looking much better for your missing wife than before you took off your shirt. Let me call the mayor so he can raise more people to look for her." I didn't understand back then and still don't.

21points

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#31

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) People would make fun of me for watching certain movies or listening to certain songs, where a woman was singing. It got to a point where I was so self-conscious.

Sadboi225 Report

Final score:

31points

POST

OpalTheRainwing 3 years ago

For me I get self conscious when I listen to Fnaf music is I’m scared they will make fun of me cuz it’s a “ scary game for boys “

0points

#32

I had a picture of my brother and me in my Profile picture with our arms over each other’s shoulders. As a male nurse, some people think you’re gay already but one of my coworkers was sure that having my brother in my profile picture meant that I was gay.

458MAG Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Roxy Eastland 3 years ago

Um, okay. I mean it's a stupid definition of gay, but do you care if they think you're gay?

8points

IndividualCommittee8 , Dan Meyers Report

#33

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) My father felt the need to “pass on” knowledge he learned from his father, unfortunately it was abuse, emotional in my case

Final score:

28points

POST

Jessica Nametz 3 years ago

Sadly, this can be a toxic circle that people don't even know they are in. It takes a strong individual to recognize the pattern and break free from it.

1point

#34

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) Every guy is told 'to man up' at some point. I still don’t know what 'manning up' is.

Salty-Tortoise , Damir Spanic Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Shelp 3 years ago

Wake up to patriotic songs, start your day with two hours of sport, then proceed to drink half a bottle of whisky for breakfast. You can now vroom your car around until noon, and then eat 2kg of beef for lunch. After that, you'll have to play football with your mates, and once you're done, you can invite them over to watch lesbian porn, or to the strip club. Don't forget to drink a lot of beer! If you've drunk too much of it, you can pee proudly in the middle of the street. Go to sleep at 4AM and get some rest until a new great day begins.

43points

#35

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I grew up in a culture with a lot of toxic masculinity, so it's not easy to get rid of these ideas, like that I am not allowed to be sensitive and submissive to my wife, which I am.

badthoughts87 , Niki Sanders Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Vorknkx 3 years ago (edited)

Same here in the Balkans - our culture has been strongly patriarchal for centuries and this oppressive worldview still tries to find its way into contemporary life (under the guise of "patriotism").

8points

#36

I guess mine isnt so bad but its the constant feeling of not being "man" enough because I dont like sports, cars and because I am not handy at all. I know gender is a social contrust but to always feel like I am "too much of a girl" to be a real man has always affected me.
Also that I am not allowed to be sensitive and submissive. LIke I dont like to take charge in my relationship. My wife is more dominant than me and I love that but it also makes me feel bad because I constantly hear and see that I should be "the man"! I should be the one who makes the big decisions and etc. And because I dont my wife wont really desire me.

I grew up in a culture with a lot of toxic masculinity so its not easy to get rid of these ideas.

badthoughts87 Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Iapetos 3 years ago

Can you talk about the problem with your wife? Dominant people often have a way to boost your confidence and crush your self-doubts (which is exactly what needs to be done with self-doubts).

9points

#37

I was labelled gay for years because I would always turn up to parties with a taxi full of girls. Usually left with them too but somehow that made all those guys scared of me

toomuchthinks Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Ian Koch 3 years ago

maybe they just have a lot of girlfriends? (female friends, not the other one.) some toxic people REALLY need to get a grip.

6points

#38

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) Gay rugby player, apparently only played to touch the guys... f*** that you old fat f***er with a 48inch waist, no I don’t want to touch your micro penis. Oh and here’s a hand off to the face!

gingeadventures , Max Leveridge Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Remi Flynne 3 years ago (edited)

If they wanted to pick a sport to touch up the guys surely they'd pick something with even more contact, like wrestling! What a daft notion. Edited to correct a typo!

9points

#39

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) A girl threw herself at me when I was 14, and I turned her down.

Healthy reaction: I don't really know her, she's my sister's best friend, and I'm just not ready.

Toxic male inspired reaction: Why didn't I just f**k her? What's wrong with me? Am I gay?

AlterEdward , Michael Discenza Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Matt Hollis 3 years ago

I have so many questions

6points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#40

Back when I was in high school, I wasn't beat up for being gay, I was "gay" because I was constantly getting beat up.

Also, I was closer to bi, but with experiences like that behind me, it was simpler to be "straight."

Kneejerk_Nihilist Report

Final score:

24points

POST

TheReader19 3 years ago

Be true to yourself, it pays off in the long run

3points

#41

I was constantly called gay in middle school and high school because I was single, had good hygiene habits, and was generally respectful towards women.

notmatimio Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

Sssooooo..... not to be gay is to be sexist and disrespectful, filthy and with someone/ multiple people????

16points

#42

Was at the weight room at high school and all the jocks saw me and they were making fun of me for trying to lift since I was a big boy back then. When I say they were jocks, I mean muscles, tall, and hard-core abs. When I went to lift they kept on saying they couldn't believe I was actually attempting to lift.

I set the high school record of lifting 285lbs. Doing 2 sets of 10 reps.

Marvel089 Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Ian Koch 3 years ago

WOW.

7points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#43

Decorating my home I’m a single guy. I enjoy having a really nice looking place to live in. I carefully choose things for my home. I get the occasional remark about it. I don’t let it bother me but hey.

Psychological-Wrap59 Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Bama Belle 3 years ago

Good for you. My gay brother says he didn't get the 'gay decorating gene'. He can style women's hair like a m**o, though.

1point

Felonious_Scrotum , Nguyen Thu Hoai Report

#44

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) The coach of our varsity football team was also my biology teacher. When I was 15 and he was a giant of a man, he attacked me and beat me up in the middle of class but because of his position as coach of the football team, all he got was a slap on the wrist. And I got a year of bullying by the entire football team until I moved away a year later.

Final score:

22points

POST

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

Do that to a girl and all hell would brake loose

8points

#45

My dad would constantly tease me for having a baby doll and for watching My Little Pony. He's really awesome, he just never realized that what he thought of as joking and teasing was actually really hurtful.

In Elementary school, I was made fun of for being weird by a lot of people, and the rest of the people were only nice to me when they needed help with homework. I cried a few times, and was told to man up and deal with it. Again, the teacher who said it was a really great person, he just didn't realize how negative those words were.

So I haven't experienced it much, but when I did, it came from people I looked up to, and who were some of my biggest supporters, which made it hurt a lot more than it would otherwise.

IisGreen Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

I was at the shops one day and there was a woman at the checkout with two boys. They both had a ball each and the youngest had a pink my little pony ball. He put it on the checkout ready to be scanned when the woman picked it up and said you can’t have this, I am not buying you a pink ball. We will come back again another day and you can choose a different one. He was so upset and started crying but that didn’t matter to the woman coz it was still pink.

9points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#46

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I paint my nails, and oh boy, the downright ignorant comments I would get from people at work astounded me. Like, why? A-holes.

connorjacobz , dylan nolte Report

Final score:

21points

POST

LesAnimaux 3 years ago

YES paint your nails if you feel like it!

15points

#47

Ohhh this is a recent example. I was driving my father home from physical therapy and I was turning left at this intersection. Construction in the intersection forced me to get in the right-most left turn lane and when the light turned green, I went to change lanes but the truck next to me wouldn't let me in the lane. I had to remain in the other lane, unable to go anywhere, and my father screamed at me (not nicely) to "grow some balls". Joke’s on him tho because I already have a pair

that-nerd Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Lucas 3 years ago

Yep, getting into accidents because you can't change lanes is very masculine. Not sure dad would be getting a lift from me again if that's how he wants to talk to me.

17points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

#48

Had to go through the Modern Army Combative course. Aside from it being physically difficult, the level of toxic masculinity was off putting. One instructor told us he was so committed to the job, earlier in the year he came home from a deployment and went straight to the gym. It’s like, dude you’re a terrible husband, and a loser.

the89delta Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Keyy 3 years ago

loool im positive he didn't mean straight to the gym from the airport .. and he's a loser and terrible husband becasue he likes to workout ?? im lost ..

-3points

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#49

When someone is bothering my girlfriend and everyone just looks at me to jump in straight away. Like damn I was wanna enjoy my taco, she can definitely fight her own battles sometimes tho

isthisourthrowaway Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

Yeah, it's wrong for both genders - he is expected to fight her battles, her to just sit back and watch

8points

#50

Got called gay because I hung out with girls ( I just enjoyed hanging with girls more because no male toxicity at the time)

When I was young I used to be super emotional and people would just say I'm a cry baby and males shouldn't act like that etc.

Gablack567 Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Noemie Houtekie-N'Da 3 years ago

1. If they wanted to have a point they should've called you straight. (They shouldn't call you anything mean to begin with). 2. (Me being a girl) Guys are cool to have as friends because there is less talking behind backs and making big deals about little things. Being able to be comfortable around girls is something that I respect and guys shouldn't pick on you because they aren't.

2points

#51

I was an expressive, artistic, and cute boy who was different than my two brothers who loved sports. Ultimately, more intellectual. Because my brothers loved sports, they were taken under the wings of my uncles while I was ignored and looked down upon. My uncles even took my childhood best friend who is the same age as me under their wings essentially. Then they took a neighborhood friend under their wing essentially creating an internal dynamic with myself that something was wrong with me and why am I always separated out of the crowd. They would take them to sporting events and other things like that. I tried to play softball and other sports, but always ended up getting embarrassingly hurt because I didn’t have years of experience playing, but put myself out there in a vulnerable place many times over and tried so so so many times to gain some validation from any fatherly figure. The fatherly figures of my brother, best friend, and neighbor. My father was a depressed alcoholic, so I never looked up to him unfortunately. My brothers while growing up were bully’s. As I grew up, I became cynical, more quiet, and became invisible on purpose. I eventually realized I was gay when I hit puberty, but even then, since I was a conscious being, I was singled out by my uncles powered by toxic masculinity.

I’m fine, successful, and thriving, but growing up with only being able to invest, have faith, and learn to trust in myself always has been a blessing and a curse. I didn’t get here without any setbacks or challenges. It would be great if I could get a pat on my back.

imdatingurdadben Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Xenon 3 years ago

Well, "*I'm* proud of you for overcoming and getting out of there and thriving. Wishing you all the best.

9points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#52

As much as I hate term 'toxic masculinity', here goes.

I was bullied in elementary school because I was an easy target. As in I wasn't violent and I was different, was bit of a nerd, and didn't care about sports, and so on. And yeah, everything civilized was attempted to stop the bulling, but nothing worked. I was even punished for being bullied because of typical school bureaucracy nonsense such as "bullies can't be changed but you can", and "boys will be boys". One time I was punished for just being in a wrong place and doing nothing when everyone else got away with 0 consequences.

You know what worked? In few situations I've beat the s**t out of bullies, I didn't care about pain, but they did. Also, I'm much stronger than I look, so that's a plus. Every time I would retaliate, bullies would be less eager to attack me. One time I was being picked on by this guy who was like 2 years older and quite taller than me, and when I retaliated, we were separated and he tried to laugh it off. I was never picked on by him again.

But bulling didn't completely stop until I moved to a different class with less violent students. Pretty sad how low state of society is with some things...

Alien-Fox-4 Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Ian Koch 3 years ago

Wow... honestly, to some extent, people who bully others physically (pushing shoving, etc.) deserve MULTIPLE knuckle sandwiches from the person they are bullying.

8points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#53

People would make fun of me for watching certain movies, or being smaller than everyone else, or wanting to be seen as “cute.” It got to a point where I was so self conscious that I’d be embarrassed listening to a song where a woman was singing.

Sadboi225 Report

Final score:

19points

POST

TheReader19 3 years ago

I read do I understand the concept of being less manly because you listen to songs by female artists, can someone explain this to me; is this an American thing?

3points

#54

Being made fun of for expressing an emotion other than the two that are allowed. Happy or angry, preferably about sports.

SkinnyMac Report

Final score:

19points

POST

#55

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) Being called gay because I work with children!

Theholynun , Anna Earl Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Shelp 3 years ago

Still better as being called a paedophile, sadly :/

14points

#56

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) A redneck fellow student in highschool "joked" about how he should rape me. I was goth, so I guess it's how he'd "show me" for being depressed and wearing makeup to school.

HoonArt , Jay Wennington Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Shelp 3 years ago

Best possible answer: "Oh, I didn't know you were into men!"

15points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#57

Growing up being called a flake by my father and not being late like either he ment the other flake....I was destroyed by that ended up trying to prove myself to him..Even joined usmc to prove I wasn't a flake... The Marine corps broke me down and built me back up.. graduating boot camp was the proudest I've ever seen my father..... But inside I'm sad and lonely... I'm a straight Caucasian male who enjoys dancing and dressing to the nines. I just followed the beat to My own drum and my father couldn't understand that.. he ended up disowning me back in 1992... My father died in 2005 and I didn't hear about it until 2015.. what I've discovered is be yourself no matter what whoever says whatever that's on them it's their problem not yours just be who you want to be and just be the best you can be.then you're ended with resentments and resentments are like you taking poison expecting them to die...

darkharvey Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Lucas 3 years ago

Some parents really shouldn't be parents.

10points

#58

Been pressured into doing things like trying beer because it's "what men do."

FDRip Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Memere 3 years ago

That's on the same disgusting level as "boys will be boys".

1point

#59

Typical experience growing up.

Hugging or showing affection to my friends (sober as when you're drunk, apparently this is ok?!)

Them: Hey, why are hugging (or showing affection) to your mates (male and female)? Are you gay (males) or are you trying to hit that (females)?

Me: They're my friends, why wouldn't I show them that I care about them?

Them: Dude that's gay or you so want hit that aye?

Amkha Report

Final score:

17points

POST

General kenobi 3 years ago

Bruh.

2points

#60

Background: my wife is the bossy “Karen” type. Sex is a quick wam-bam most of the time then clean up and go separate ways. Hates to cuddle. Refuses. That sort.

Once I had tears in my eyes during an emotional discussion and she laughed and says “wow you really are the girl in this relationship and I’m more the man! I don’t want to cuddle but you do. You get more emotional.” She said I was more feminine. Even when I lost family members she’s never seen me shed a tear since. Which is hard af during the (original) Mufasa scene... last year I fell and hurt my tailbone. One night I decided to sit in the tub, hot water... she walks and and looks in and laughs “you’re sick a girl!”

DaytonOhioGuy Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago

Time to get a divorce.

14points

TacoHellDriveThru , sarandy westfall Report

#61

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I called a friends dog cute and he said calling something cute was gay.

Final score:

16points

POST

Matt Hollis 3 years ago

lol, its only gay if your friend is noshing you off at the same time

10points

#62

I paint my nails and hooooooo boy the amount of sexist, homophobic, and downright ignorant comments I would get from people while at work astounded me. Like, why?

connorjacobz Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Ian Koch 3 years ago

repeat (not actually, I think, but might as well be.)

1point

#63

Being too romantic as a teenager with my dates, and still being virgin in my late teens caused my friends to tease me, and some telling me if I wasn’t man enough. This was a common “peer pressure” at school.

Away-Hair-3568 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Caleb Lumpkin 3 years ago

yea i feel you. i deal with this a lot

2points

#64

I'm a fairly good looking guy, I seem to be a type for many. Not that I identify with being handsome, it's just clear people are physically attracted to me more than average.

With that said, I lost count of the amount of time women have made inappropriate remarks, or came on to me in ways that we're well beyond comfortable, and my male colleagues or friends made fun of me when trying to get out of these extremely cringey and awkward situations. Because I was just supposed to go and f**k these women, right?

First world problem, I know.

Speemeister Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Caleb Lumpkin 3 years ago

i feel ya man.

1point

#65

Being called soft because I had to meet a therapist for my anxiety.

Tbh I am not aggressive , enthusiastic , carefree guy. I don't know how that makes people to consider me softhearted.

throwawayafw Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Caleb Lumpkin 3 years ago

yea i was told once that i didnt need anger management that i just neede to get my s**t straight. im a aggressive dude when people piss me off and its hard for me not to get mad. so i was pretty much told because i was a dude and i needed to put that s**t aside because im a dude, that i didnt need help. and i still cant get it so now its on them if i get into fights

1point

Professional-Fig4316 Report

#66

My dad told me to keep crying like a girl when I was pissed when he would listen to me.

Context: I was flying a drone that I couldn’t control the direction of. I told him this repetitively and said let’s stop flying it. He didn’t listen and then it flew onto a tree. Then he got pissed at me.

RedditerRocky Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Luthor 3 years ago

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Your feelings were perfectly acceptable. Your feelings ARE perfectly acceptable.

1point

#67

I’m told it’s effeminate to rest with one hand on your hip or stick out my pinky finger when grasping a cold drink container. Sadly it’s my wife’s distorted idea of what’s manly, who tells me.

Final score:

15points

POST

Caleb Lumpkin 3 years ago

cough**DIVORCE**COUGH**COUGH

9points

#68

Everyday I’m baraded by guys spouting bulls**t. Yesterday was about trucks, the day before it was guys calling other guys ‘girls’, day before that some guy was b***hing about clean energy in Texas. Shut the f**k up. Shut the f**k up. No one in the room cares. Don't talk to me about what I should eat, why I shouldn’t do my taxes, why the US is great, why foreign automobiles aren’t good. Shut the f**k up.

aslappyboi Report

Final score:

14points

POST

M O'Connell 3 years ago

The 'foreign automobile argument' is an excellent way to assess the relative intelligence in a room. Especially because those people don't seem to realize how many Honda ,Toyota, Nissan, Subaru, Hyundai, BMW and Kia models are manufactured at US plants (plus a handful of Volkswagen and Volvo cars, as well as Volvo and Hino medium trucks).

2points

#69

Went to the toilet in a busy pub, cubicle was taken. Waited outside the cubicle because I like my privacy. Some guy decided I was waiting to use the cubicle because I had a small penis.

Thought it was a bit gay that he wanted to know how big my penis was but there you go.

Stardrive450 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Lucas 3 years ago

Weird - how does he know what you *need* to do.

5points

#70

A literal necklace, my taste in jewelry is where I love gems, and of course when my grandmother died, being a child I saw her black gemmed necklace that looked like a shark tooth necklace but with gems and gold, and I was told no by my father cuz it wasn’t ‘manly’same with a heir style where I had my back bit of hair on top of my head up in a short like tail, and the front just going forward, and i wasn’t allowed to wear it , because it wasn’t manly,

immatrashpiece Report

Final score:

13points

POST

#71

Growing my hair long and in a ponytail. Get call girlie. When I had it cut on #2 I was told I look like I just got out of prison. Look in mirror and judge yourSELF

Vivid_Pay_8929 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

#72

I like listening to KPop and am a big fan of BTS and BlackPink

Apparently as a man I can't listen to a boy or girl group.

ducksauce001 Report

Final score:

12points

POST

angie but who cares 3 years ago

so men can't like KPop and pop music i will have to tell my dad he is actauly a women because men can't listen to harry styles

5points

#73

Men Are Sharing Examples Of Toxic Masculinity They've Faced In Person (30 Stories) I've spent my first year at college rooming with someone who is the definition of toxic masculinity. Constantly makes irritating noises to prove that he's a "man," such as yawning, moaning, farting, burping, sighing, clearing his throat, and talking annoyingly loudly, all of which he does in a very aggressive manner. He'll also randomly workout in the room at odd hours, and he'll grunt loudly every time he does a pushup. The guy will also stand in front of the mirror, admiring his body that in all honesty isn't even that muscular (what muscle he does have is built by creatine). But the worst thing he does is put other guys down. He told his parents the other night that all other guys who go to the gym are "betas" while he is a "biological alpha." He then proceeded to make fun of out of shape people at the gym (isn't the whole point of the gym to get in good shape?). He's made my life a living hell at school (disregards covid restrictions as well), but the administration makes it extremely difficult to change roommates because "tradition," so I'm stuck with him for the rest of the year.

Billiesoceaneyes , Miikka Luotio Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Johnny Rodriguez 3 years ago

He is too afraid to come out..

5points

#74

Being told I was “gay” or “pussy a** b***h” for the car I drove in high school. Jokes on them; I own a heavily modified Audi SUV now and they still drive the cars their parents bought them.

Flingsquidz Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Cactus McCoy 3 years ago

So, you're cooler guy now because ou have the bigger pri....car?

8points

#75

I remember in High School (I went to an all-boys school), I would go to watch my older sister play hockey, and I’d get made fun of. I never understood what the problem with going to watch a women’s hockey game was, especially one where my older sister was playing.

SharkPerson Report

Final score:

7points

POST

Ian Koch 3 years ago

repeat.

4points

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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What do you think ?

POST

A.M. Pierre 3 years ago

I know this gets said every time, but I still think it bears repeating. “Toxic masculinity” does not mean that being masculine is toxic. It means that in our culture there are certain specific traits that are pushed as being masculine but that are actually harmful to both men and women.

40points

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

Please do keep repeating that!!! We all need to be reminded so thank you.

10points

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

"Toxic Masculinity" is not the only issue shown in this post. Homophobia and sexism are also there.... we need to show all these issues more and do more about them to achieve equality.

20points

Potato 3 years ago

Toxic masculinity is built on homophobia and sexism.

12points

Francesca Annoni 3 years ago

My husband loves cuddles and kisses more than me..He is cuddly and sweet with our two kids and he is raising them in a very sensible way.. in our house it's me who does all carpentry works and repair jobs because my father taught me these things even if I'm a woman...my husband lets me doing all these things not because he's less masculine but because he knows I love it more than him ..we think that all these stereotypes are really really harmful..

15points

Laugh or not 3 years ago

My dad taught my sister and I (also female) how to repare or DIY'ed many things, because everyone should know how to do some basic work around the house. When we left home, he gifted each one of us a big tool box and I have used it a lot and bought more tools.

3points

Logic and Reason 3 years ago

Screw gender roles in general, honestly.

9points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

Yes. We should get rid of gender altogether. The only moment where sex is relevant is in sexual situations and in the doctor. For the rest we do not need to know so gender is useless. Also a toxic idea (as we saw in this post).

4points

ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago

I worked in a company where 70% are females.I was daily harassed by a female coworker.She snitched every little mistake i made to my boss,she manipulated others against me and she made me doing her work.I had a really good paying job.I told my boss and he was like "yeah we will talk to her" and the situation never got better.Because the company was mostly female i had no chance to "survive".The worst thing is that i had a really good paying job and i had to quit.This happened 6 years ago and now i am almost broke.I had to do the worst jobs becuase others wouldn't hire me becuase everyone is asking why i quit such a job.Whatever i say it is the wrong answer in interviews because "you just can't quit such a job".I never recovered and my life is hell to the point where i thought about suicide.Therapy,medication,working out and eating healthy didn't help.

5points

Ashlie 3 years ago

I’m so sorry you went through that. The effects of toxic people can last years. You had to quit your job due to a health (mental health) problem. No interviewer should ask more information. Many communities have low cost mental health clinics. I hope you give therapy another try. Sometimes talking to the right person can make all the difference.

3points

John Montgomery 3 years ago

I can think of a few my dad did. One, he'd ask how I'm doing. I'd say "pretty good". He'd say "I don't know about this "pretty" thing. I think it was meant to be a joke, but it just came off as stupid. His views on Trans people were particularly disconcerting. I went with him when he met some of his biological family. One of his cousin had a trans girlfriend or something. He commented something along the lines of "men who do that are mutilating themselves". This one I'm not sure if it's toxic or just terrible, but growing up; especially as I got close to adulthood, he would say "If we were ever to be in a fight, I'd win. You know why. You'd hesitate thinking "I can't hit him. He's my father." I however would not have that". I always thought " gee. I Feel loved". My own father wouldn't hesitate in hitting his son.

5points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

He sounds like a real jerk

2points

ALonelyPanda 3 years ago

There is only about 3 things, if not less, that apply to only one gender. Almost nothing should be categorized under one gender. BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, NOT WHO OTHERS WANT YOU TO BE!!!

4points

Aroace tiger 3 years ago

You are allowed to have emotion you are alowed to get help you are allowed to not enjoy sports you are allowed to be kind you are allowed to not want to f**k every girl you see! It does NOT make you gay (even though its 100% ok to be gay) you do you and don't worry about the world stupid gender roles!

4points

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)

This post was needed. Toxic masculinity is rife and often (as proven in this thread) is scoffed at and has a limited voice to speak out against it. It's a cog in the gears of toxic identity culture: stand up for yourself/another gender, or even race or religion (not to get sidetracked btw), standing up like that is shot down. The more we can support each other and listen, without "not all's" and "but your gender does it too's" the more we drain the misery out of our society. I know reading this thread and comments has given me some more insight into what I need to be aware of in my behaviour so as not to prop this toxic s**t up

3points

Iapetos 3 years ago

My boyfriend was accused of being gay and harrassed because he said "Hello" to a group of those man-children.

2points

Random Anon 3 years ago

When I was growing up, I looked a lot like a girl and hangout a lot with my mom and her friends when my dad was being a raging bastard. So it included hair salons and madi-pedis. No one really bothered me in primary school because I was tall. In high school, it's a different story. But I got so used to the walloping by dad dishes out, I can handle myself pretty well. So when I finally had enough of their crap I sent two guys to the hospital. I spent a week there as well with a concussion and bone fractures taking on five of them. But after that, no one bothered me so there is that.

1point

Tapio Magnussen 3 years ago

Raising my #bigmiddlefinger to those #dumbarseh0lesdumbfvcks who do not read between the lines. You are so genuinely stoopid to even read anything on The Net. Chaíto, richardeds.

1point

similarly 3 years ago

When I was a kid (back in the 70s), it was made clear to me that boys "aren't supposed" to feel sad, or shy, or insecure, or worried, etc etc etc. However, it WAS okay for boys to be angry (that was considered "manly"), and so every negative emotion I had came out as anger, and I STILL struggle with that.

1point

Whimsy 3 years ago

Just wondering, but are there pictures on these text articles? I never see anything but the actual text, though pictures would be nice, too.

1point

Data1001 3 years ago

There are a lot of men out there who need a wakeup call about their toxic masculinity, but a good number of these examples are just people being jackasses -- and jackasses (plentiful as they are in this world) aren't endemic to one sex or gender.

1point

Cian Thomas McHugh 3 years ago

This is less powerful considering Bored Panda JUST RAN AN ARTICLE ABOUT MEN BEING BAD

1point

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

No, its part of the same problem. Just because one gender experiences toxicity doesn't preclude any other gender from getting toxic treatment. I explained it better in my post, but the knee jerk 'you do it too' is actually part of the toxicity, and holds us back

5points

Bobert Robertson 3 years ago

I'm a superintendent in a large distribution center for a large international company. The place is unionized, which naturally means I need to be tough and thick skinned. I am these things, but I can also be compassionate with my employees. Upper management treats our unionized employees more as objects than as people, and they do not care at all. They expect me, as a male manager, to have the same lack of compassion for the employees. Funnily, they do not have the same expectations for my female counterparts, and understand when they can be caring towards employees.

1point

Aroace tiger 3 years ago

I love how as soon as I saw this I went on another website and saw a positive masculinity post lol

1point

Matt Richardson 3 years ago

Toxic Masculinity literally broke me physically and mentally. It was a hell that took forever to dig myself out of, my ankle is forever destroyed because of it, and I'm still dealing with the mental health ramifications of it. It was only after I began the long climb out of that hole, that I decided to to say screw it and not worry about living up to whatever society's idea of being a man was. A lot less stressful that way.

0points

H.L.Lewis 3 years ago

I used to follow my Dad around when I was a kid, watching when he would do little repair jobs around the house. I think I have more power tools than either of my brothers combined. My main chore was washing dishes, while my brother's was mowing the lawn. Just because I was a girl. I hated having to wash dishes every night, and pretty sure my brother hated mowing the lawn.

0points

Christine M Quigley 3 years ago

Toxic masculinity mentally and emotionally crippled whole generations of men, it's so sad. I always told my son, if you need to cry, then cry- it's okay..

0points

Daphne Williams 3 years ago

Toxic masculinity is horribly limiting to men and dangerous to both men and women.

0points

elia 84631 3 years ago

To talk with a woman or a girl online while the other guys are thinking i flert.

0points

Mikaela Papp 3 years ago

This is a fu*ked up world, completely upside down and first thing we need is to change the way we think, let all the toxic sh*t go and start to respect the REAL individuality of every being!

0points

Luthor 3 years ago

My brother is one of the most 'masculine' men I have ever met. He stands 6' 2", is built like a brick shithouse and is the most typically bogan guy I have ever met (Yes, I'm Australian). You know who he looks up to and admires, who he uses as inspiration, who we wishes he could be more like, who he hopes to meet one day? Amanda Nunes, the MMA fighter and Dolly bloody Parton. He also paints his nails and wears beautiful jewellery. My brother doesn't give a s**t what people say, he just is who he is and people flock to him because of it. He also LOVES pink and wears his pink work out suit to yoga class. I love my brother so much. I wish I could be more like him.

0points

Luthor 3 years ago

Oh... and his full-time job is working at a major Australian make-up brand mixing the formulas for existing and upcoming products. 'Masculinity' does NOT have to be toxic... and my brother shows that to me everyday. 'Toxic masculinity' hurts women and men and needs to stop.

1point

matthew owen 3 years ago

Tf im gay.

0points

Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago

Really glad to see this is getting more and more awareness. I’ve seen this affect both my partner and little son multiple times. It is very early days, as for the women’s movement it took many decades to improve women’s lives but we’ve only Very recently started talking about men’s issues. But I believe we’ll get there eventually!

0points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

My dad used to tell us to "man up". We were girls. We were then scolded for being tomboyish, etc. Frankly, don't man up. PERSON UP. :-)

0points

Mike Crow 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Vorknkx 3 years ago

I work at a university (administration), and I've heard students suspecting me of being gay just because I am always doing my best to be polite and helpful. They are so used to people in admin being rude and condescending all the time that politeness seems like an anomaly to them.

0points

David Cartwright 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Tiari 3 years ago

You may not be aware, but feminism and femininity are two completely different things.

6points

POST

A.M. Pierre 3 years ago

40points

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

Please do keep repeating that!!! We all need to be reminded so thank you.

10points

Doggo Froggo 3 years ago

"Toxic Masculinity" is not the only issue shown in this post. Homophobia and sexism are also there.... we need to show all these issues more and do more about them to achieve equality.

20points

Potato 3 years ago

Toxic masculinity is built on homophobia and sexism.

12points

Francesca Annoni 3 years ago

15points

Laugh or not 3 years ago

3points

Logic and Reason 3 years ago

Screw gender roles in general, honestly.

9points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

4points

ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago

5points

Ashlie 3 years ago

3points

John Montgomery 3 years ago

5points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

He sounds like a real jerk

2points

ALonelyPanda 3 years ago

There is only about 3 things, if not less, that apply to only one gender. Almost nothing should be categorized under one gender. BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, NOT WHO OTHERS WANT YOU TO BE!!!

4points

Aroace tiger 3 years ago

4points

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)

3points

Iapetos 3 years ago

My boyfriend was accused of being gay and harrassed because he said "Hello" to a group of those man-children.

2points

Random Anon 3 years ago

1point

Tapio Magnussen 3 years ago

Raising my #bigmiddlefinger to those #dumbarseh0lesdumbfvcks who do not read between the lines. You are so genuinely stoopid to even read anything on The Net. Chaíto, richardeds.

1point

similarly 3 years ago

1point

Whimsy 3 years ago

Just wondering, but are there pictures on these text articles? I never see anything but the actual text, though pictures would be nice, too.

1point

Data1001 3 years ago

1point

Cian Thomas McHugh 3 years ago

This is less powerful considering Bored Panda JUST RAN AN ARTICLE ABOUT MEN BEING BAD

1point

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

5points

Bobert Robertson 3 years ago

1point

Aroace tiger 3 years ago

I love how as soon as I saw this I went on another website and saw a positive masculinity post lol

1point

Matt Richardson 3 years ago

0points

H.L.Lewis 3 years ago

0points

Christine M Quigley 3 years ago

Toxic masculinity mentally and emotionally crippled whole generations of men, it's so sad. I always told my son, if you need to cry, then cry- it's okay..

0points

Daphne Williams 3 years ago

Toxic masculinity is horribly limiting to men and dangerous to both men and women.

0points

elia 84631 3 years ago

To talk with a woman or a girl online while the other guys are thinking i flert.

0points

Mikaela Papp 3 years ago

This is a fu*ked up world, completely upside down and first thing we need is to change the way we think, let all the toxic sh*t go and start to respect the REAL individuality of every being!

0points

Luthor 3 years ago

0points

Luthor 3 years ago

1point

matthew owen 3 years ago

Tf im gay.

0points

Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago

0points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

My dad used to tell us to "man up". We were girls. We were then scolded for being tomboyish, etc. Frankly, don't man up. PERSON UP. :-)

0points

Mike Crow 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Vorknkx 3 years ago

0points

David Cartwright 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Tiari 3 years ago

You may not be aware, but feminism and femininity are two completely different things.

6points