You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here’re 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity

When you hear the word ‘toxic,’ odds are, your mind’s bound to add the word ‘masculinity’ on top. Most of us have heard about toxic masculinity and the issues it poses to men, women, and society as a whole in quite some depth. However, a topic that’s addressed far more rarely is toxic femininity.

The mirror image to toxic masculinity, toxic femininity deals with the perception that some women have about how other women 'should' behave and what makes a ‘real’ woman. Redditors have been going into detail about what exactly constitutes toxic femininity and how some women express it. Have a read through their responses to redditor VysX_’s viral thread and let us know which of these examples you agree and disagree with. Have you noticed any of these in real life? Share your thoughts with all the other Pandas in the comments.

Nancy Doyle, writing for Forbes, explains that she’s seen toxic femininity described in a variety of ways. Including backstabbing, failing to support other women in their success, and also as a potential “tool of the patriarchy to undermine femininity.”

This post may include affiliate links.

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Women who think other women that enjoy cooking, child rearing, and homemaking are perpetuating stereotyped gender roles enforced by the patriarchy.

Tearing other women down because what they enjoy doesn’t fit into the tiny box of what YOUR version of feminism should be is toxic femininity to the max.

Oichbro550 , Lindsey LaMont Report

Final score:

401points

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Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago

True feminism is giving everybody the choice to live the life they want, regardless of gender or stereotypes.

234points

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You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Branding unattractive guys as “creeps” for the same behaviour that attractive guys get away with and even rewarded for.

The-Figurehead , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Final score:

364points

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Rob Woodman 3 years ago

Yup

72points

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It’s when a woman assaults a man first and when the man retaliates, the woman acts like she’s the victim saying “you can’t hit a woman”. You hit him first Ma’am. You’re not absolve to any of your wrongdoings just because of your gender

hbc2143 Report

Final score:

346points

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Rob Woodman 3 years ago

Tell that to the cops.

101points

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According to Doyle from Forbes, in the workplace, toxic femininity is akin to passive aggression. “It’s when we allow relationships and productivity to suffer because we’re not being honest about our own objectives, or when we are assuming we know best with a ‘caring’ face. It's being a ‘Karen’ and it's not a step forward from patriarchal systems of control. It might not involve yelling, but it’s still manipulating other people,” she explains.

“The answer to centuries of toxic masculinity is not a new era of toxic femininity, it is leadership and membership behaviors and skills that are, frankly, beyond gender and appropriately contextualized.”

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Thinking men can't be abused by a woman

Few_Cup3452 , Christian Erfurt Report

Final score:

308points

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Gurnox 3 years ago

Or thinking other women can't be too

79points

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You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity “Breast is best” “Women who have C-sections aren’t real mothers” “Real women have curves” “I’m not like other girls” Etc

Kopcalysm Report

Final score:

270points

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Ian Reynolds 3 years ago

My wife had a c-section and our daughter and my wife couldn't take to breastfeeding, and people would make comments about how natural birth and breastfeeding makes real bonds. This hurt my wife, caused some early depression and made her worry about the bond with our daughter, but this really has had no impact on their relationship. My wife now gets angry because of the stupidity of the people saying this and the snobbiness of these fools.

176points

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You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity My ex-husband and I separated when our child was 2. Went to a birthday party for daughter's friend and was having a casual conversation with one of the husbands. The group of women stood in a corner staring at me, and the wife came up and grabbed him by the arm and started doing that strange possessive peacock dance.

What were we talking about? Real estate prices.

YourMothersButtox , Charles Deluvio Report

Final score:

260points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Sounds like the other woman was probably insecure.

138points

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Doyle notes that communication and honesty can help move past both toxic femininity and masculinity. “Instead of rescuing, ask people what they would like to have happen and give them the tools to do it themselves. Instead of being a victim, state clearly what you would like to have happen and police your own boundaries. And instead of persecuting, check your assumptions and instead notice the pattern or process that needs fixing, not the people.”

Meanwhile, here’s a refresher about toxic femininity’s partner in crime, toxic masculinity. Psychotherapist Silva Neves told me earlier that toxic masculinity is a general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny, as well as a set of distorted ideas about what men should be like.

Some of these ideas include not showing vulnerability, striving to always be winners, and not being weak or soft.

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Probably the whole “I’m not like other girls” thing. What’s wrong with other girls? You can value yourself without [stepping] on others.

Phil_Drill , Allef Vinicius Report

Final score:

257points

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Nat Hedley 3 years ago

You're unique! Just like everybody else.

95points

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Toxic feminism to me is hating ALL men. Not all men are the same. Those kind of girls make it a point to spread that hate and make it a big movement. I understand everyone has had their experiences with men who have hurt them, but to spread such hate and make it their personality?? Not cool.

ajmeraz Report

Final score:

245points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

100% this.

65points

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Calling every single disagreement mansplaining.

revocer Report

Final score:

238points

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Rob Woodman 3 years ago

Or even a conversation.

61points

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“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” Silva told Bored Panda.

“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” the expert continued.

According to Silva, healthy masculinity means that an individual “embraces gender, sex, and relationship diversities including gay men and transgender people. Someone who is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”

#10

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Mother who treat other people [poorly] and then justify it by saying they're a mama bear

zanovar , Kenny Krosky Report

Final score:

234points

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Lovin' Life 3 years ago

There is not justification for treating other people bad!

60points

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#11

When we s**t all over men and boys, while calling it "Modern Feminism". We don't have to deconstruct and destroy everything masculine just for women to be equal. That is literally the opposite of equality and should be offensive to everyone.

DancingAssClown Report

Final score:

222points

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Aliquid A 3 years ago

This is not "Toxic femininity", this is "toxic feminism". Sounds very similar, but different concepts. Other examples on this thread are good, but this slightly misses the mark

13points

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#12

Being pressured to have children. Women can be incredibly toxic when they find out that someone made a different choice regarding procreation. Personally I think mothers that hate on childless women regret their choice to have children and lash out at those they secretly envy for their (perceived) freedom.

GreenAppleLady Report

Final score:

204points

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El muerto 3 years ago

this is a common behaviour, attacking others that made different choices, because somehow you feel that your choices are being attack, by them...meat eater vs vegetarians(I eat meat myself), childfree vs parents. believers vs non believers...very human, jet very stupid

67points

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#13

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Some women are so judgemental about other women, particularly when it comes to looks or fashion.

Also the women who seem to enjoy forming cliques and cutting out anyone they deem to be an outsider.

Worked with an office full of them once. It really sucked!

BringBackRobotWars Report

Final score:

189points

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Carrie Laughs 3 years ago

So glad I have met few like this. Bitchiest person I know is my brother in law,

31points

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#14

Harassing/Calling police on fathers(or other legit male caregivers) minding their own business bringing their kids to a public park.

Washjockey Report

Final score:

173points

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Premislaus de Colo 3 years ago

OMG I can soooo relate to that being a single dad to two daughters... I understand and appreciate social awareness and so on, but single mum with two sons will not meet with the problems I deal with. And honestly, people who think it's shady for a guy to live alone with two teen daughters are real pervs. I mean s**t, they're my kids, what's in your head? This is not solely a toxic feminity thoug, applies to men as well.

18points

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#15

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"

Sorry - that's not how life works.

badlilbadlandabad , Alex Iby Report

Final score:

169points

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Jayne Kyra 3 years ago

This is unrelated, but I like the picture.

47points

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#16

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Probably the culture around eating.

When I was 17-18, a few friends kept saying how much more attractive I’d be if I lost weight, how that’s why most guys weren’t into me, how I’d regret not being skinny in college, etc. My BMI was slightly under 25, so I wasn’t overweight, but I was close to it, especially compared to them.

So I basically became anorexic from 18-20 just because the feedback was like a high. I recovered, but not enough to make my mom and others happy, even though my BMI was 22-23. This continued for years between friends and family, and it was exhausting cycling between being too skinny or not average enough.

That’s really the only strong example I can think of. No matter the trendy body shape, the criticism from others will always continue. I’ve only had one guy ever comment on my weight compared to the many, many women, even strangers

Screaming_Weak , Louis Hansel Report

Final score:

161points

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Carrie Laughs 3 years ago

Funny, only people who have commented on my weight recently were men. Wrong whoever does it.

47points

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#17

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity A girl in the grade below me (I’m a senior in high school at this point) passed away unexpectedly due to sepsis. Our whole city was in shock as the girl was in the school just days before her passing.

I remember I met up with my gf at the time & she asked, “Why do so many people care about her dying? It’s not like she was pretty anyways.”

This was the type of girl that says, “What??!! I am SOOO nice.”

Safe to say, the lord blessed me with a brain and I GTFO’D that relationship.

To this day, she is still in contact with me & recently she complained that guys use her & she can’t figure out why nobody will be with her.

Well honey, I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

Susealao9 Report

Final score:

157points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)

That's just f****d up. Guess I shouldn't expect anyone to care when I die then coz I am far from pretty lol. Such a stupid thing to say.

62points

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#18

Putting other women down for liking girly things and not wanting to be CEOs etc.

Ages ago a woman I knew commented on an news article about women who love to wear mermaid tails and go swimming with it. She said women should aim to be CEOs and not mermaids.

I happened to have one of those tails and love mermaids. I’m 37 now and still do! Doesn’t mean I am stupid or aim low. I don’t want to be a CEO, it’s not who I am.

Redvelvet_dinosaur Report

Final score:

157points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

If I had a choice i would definitely choose to be a mermaid.

84points

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#19

The divorce playbook. First you kick your husband out of his own house. Then you go to a judge and claim that you are afraid of you spouse and get a PFA. Then you go to family court as the poor helpless woman and take every dime he has then s**t talk him to his own kids. Mine was more amicable than that but I have seen it happen to more than one guy.

dainbramaged1982 Report

Final score:

154points

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Draperdorf 3 years ago

I've no doubt that this is something that some spiteful and resentful women do. However, I'm also aware that narcissistic abusers (of either gender) will also say this exact same thing when they are actually the one in the wrong, as that it basically their MO. Having been through a couple of victim survivor programmes for abused women myself, I've seen far too many wonderful, abuse-survivors being slated like this by their exes. Women who are like this post also make it worse for those who aren't but are being portrayed as being so by their abusers. Hope I make sense

120points

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#20

The kind of lady that believes a man needs to be a provider is toxic. Also women that look down on men that are shorter than them are toxic af.

12ButtsAtOnce Report

Final score:

141points

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Vasana Phong 3 years ago (edited)

Yep, I’m the breadwinner in my household due to my husband’s physical disability, woman that think like this brings us back a hundred years

53points

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#21

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Being shamed for natural functions. I know men do it too (to an extent) but women are more likely, I feel, to judge body hair, wrinkles, grey hairs, etc.

DORIMEalbedo , Natasha Brazil Report

Final score:

140points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Add burping, farting, even doing poops. Yes women poop, shocking, I know.

116points

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#22

As a woman, I have absolutely zero respect for women who use their femininity to get men to do their job for them. The "oh no! I don't know how to do this, can you do it for me" women I have seen at work are pathetic. Even more pathetic are the men who think stepping in and doing a simple task for a lazy female coworker will actually get them anywhere.

quincess Report

Final score:

132points

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Kate Fei 3 years ago

I think this goes for both genders. My husband tries this with cooking ("oh but I dont know how to cook that" / "but you are better at cooking anyway"). Or when he does something he does it badly so I want to do it myself next time (i.e. cleaning).

11points

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#23

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity I'm a lesbian and I've had plenty of straight women react to this with complete puzzlement. Have I ever TRIED having a boyfriend? Who fixes things around my apartment when they break? Who kills bugs? You know, there ARE good guys out there...

scm96 , Norbu GYACHUNG Report

Final score:

130points

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Valisbourne Spiritforge 3 years ago

This comment kills me and I'm not gay. The "Have you ever TRIED XXXX" bit. To me, that's the same as asking if I've ever tried dating a guy to know if I was gay or not.

16points

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#24

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity I’ve got a quote from an ex.

“My girlfriend Sandra got a 2 carat diamond ring if I don’t get at least a 4 carat ring I’m literally going to die.”

wrongplug , zelle duda Report

Final score:

127points

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Andrew Gibb 3 years ago

This is what 4 carrots looks like to me and most men. 4-carrots-...04e6bc.jpg

58points

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#25

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Double standards in dating. I hear this a lot personally with my mother,

But if her boyfriend goes somewhere without telling her she freaks out and throws a tantrum (yes, literally). Yet if he asks anything about her then he's a douche trying to control her and cheating.

Funnily enough, my mother has been exposed for cheating twice now. Along with her f**k s**t friend.

Vampawa , René Ranisch Report

Final score:

121points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Both my hubby and I let/ask each other if or where we are going out of respect, not control. All I ask is the latest he will be home, so if he isn't home by that time I should start to worry and vice versa. Also to make sure neither of us had already made other plans.

70points

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#26

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity The sheer terrifying glee they have at tearing down someone who's made a mistake or is somehow lacking in their eyes. I worked at a doctor's office with a fifty person staff, forty five of which were women. Like they were so fake and catty and just outright hateful to each other. It was a toxic office culture.

Fremenade , Adam Winger Report

Final score:

112points

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Debbie Barnes 3 years ago

I've experienced this too, but what they don't realize is that if they're talking about others with such spitefulness, what's to say they won't be the next one on the 'we dislike list'..

23points

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#27

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Being a “bad b***h”. You’re just being an a-hole. Idk if there’s a moniker like that for guys but guys do it too, labeling yourself doesn’t excuse being a jerk

-TrevorStMcGoodbody Report

Final score:

103points

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Jon S. 3 years ago

I think a self described 'alpha,' 'born asshole' or 'player' would be the male equivalents.

2points

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#28

Women shaming women for not wearing makeup.

Minorihaaku Report

Final score:

102points

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Lisa Renfrum 3 years ago

Or the opposite.

68points

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#29

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Body-shaming, whether overweight or underweight.

I had an old classmate who called me anorexic for a year straight, anytime I tried to stand up for myself I was the bad guy because ‘she just wants to be as thin as you’. I was 21kg at twelve and her calling me anorexic killed.

B***hgotbitten , i yunmai Report

Final score:

100points

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Nice cuppa tea 3 years ago

21 kg at twelve IS seriously underweight

6points

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#30

Destroying personal property "Cause he done did me wrong!!!" and thinking they are going to get away with it, "women's intuition", and pretty much every custody case ever.

genmischief Report

Final score:

87points

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Jon S. 3 years ago (edited)

I find a small but hardcore of women vastly overestimate their "women's intuition" and think they have a full handle on everyone's state of mind and motives. It often turns out they make completely the wrong assumptions about a situation on very little information. I think this particularly applies to women as popular culture suggests women should all naturally be psychologists, when in reality a proportion are as clueless as the average man.

14points

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#31

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity To me it would mean women who bag on other women for womaning differently than they do.

This becomes really toxic after child birth. Some women will feel nothing about letting you know how you are parenting wrong by using this product or letting you child do this particular thing.

Women who are able to stay at home will be made to feel guilty for not helping to provide; and women who work are made to feel guilty for abandoning their child.

I wish women were more understanding about dealing with differences and letting things slide a bit more. You should never feel higher after putting someone else down.

That being said, I don’t know how we did it, but I found the worlds greatest group of moms when my son was a year and a half old. We came from all walks of life and supported the ever loving hell out of each other. This was in Phoenix late 90’s and we were completely tight until I moved away when my son was 5. I miss all of em.

echano2340 Report

Final score:

43points

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Mystery Egg 3 years ago

womaning? What does that mean?

0points

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#32

Manipulating a man to get him to emotionally react.

tensigh Report

Final score:

39points

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El muerto 3 years ago

a belittle the emotion that comes out, because, is not as bad as theirs...

5points

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#33

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity Assaulting people because "I'm a whamen and you can't hit back"

TheSpitfire93 , engin akyurt Report

Final score:

37points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)

I have a rule, if you can dish it, then you can take it. If a woman hits a man then don't be surprised if the man hits you back. Better yet, don't hit at all.

27points

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#34

Mom shaming is pretty toxic

GalaxyPrincesa Report

Final score:

37points

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#35

Women thinking that masculinity is for them to define.

jeff_the_nurse Report

Final score:

36points

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El muerto 3 years ago

one thing that is f****d upp. is that, the definition of femininity has change a lot faster than that masculinity. woman have expand what femininity is, while masculinity is still very narrow...many centuries of bullshit that needs to change, but that is something that men need to do. and what comes out, shouldn't be what woman wants, but somethings that's better for everybody.

6points

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#36

There's just a ton of shaming everywhere, especially online. 'You’re planning on not medicating? God, you’re not getting a medal. You’re medicating? Wow, you’re so weak. You’re not breastfeeding? What, are you abusing your child?! You’re breastfeeding? Do you spit on moms who can’t?! You’re going back to work? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you love your child?

Darkovika Report

Final score:

34points

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Nat Hedley 3 years ago

Yep! It's like it's not even about what these people believe, it's just them looking for a reason to criticise someone else to feel superior.

10points

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#37

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here're 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity "Life is short girl, cheat on him"

InboxWarrior , alex starnes Report

Final score:

33points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Nope, nope, nope. Wrong on all levels.

19points

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#38

Not letting their son's express themselves, even if playing with dolls as a kid (doesn't make them gay). The amount of times I've heard women s**t on their son's that they need to be tough to stop crying.

Telling other women how to act and claiming to be feminist. Feminism is the choice to be who you are without judgement.

Women who tell other women they are lesser for having multiple sex partners (including sex workers).

cat_lord2019 Report

Final score:

32points

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Irina Deneva-Slav 3 years ago

It is a fact often forgotten that many (perhaps most) toxic males were raised in households containing a.. yes, a mother.

14points

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#39

since toxic masculinity is pretty much saying that the "right" way to be a man is to be manly, I think toxic femininity is kind of the same in that it has to do with acting like certain ways of being a woman are "superior" to others. like how many so-called feminists will shame women for choosing to be housewives even if those women enjoy being family-oriented, or how many mothers will shame other women for refusing to have children/get married even if those women are content on their own. or you know, when girls are like "I'm not like other girls!1!" as if that makes them better than other girls. I think what makes masculinity or femininity toxic is just when people start acting like there is one "right" or "better" way of being a man or a woman when in reality everyone is valid.

Strict_Lab3333 Report

Final score:

28points

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Glirpy 3 years ago

I would much rather be a “housedad” than have to go to a job every day. However, I don’t want kids either, so that would just make me a bum :)

2points

Aliquid A 3 years ago

Almost right... but I would say it more that: Toxic masculinity is expecting men to be manly, and excusing their inappropriate "manly" behavior as "boys will be boys". Therefore toxic femininity is expecting women to be girly, and excusing their inappropriate girly behavior. So shaming a women for being a housewife is not toxic femininity anymore than shaming a man for getting into fights is toxic masculinity. Whereas your example of shaming women for NOT having children and being housewives is an example of toxic femininity (reinforcing the cultural stereotype)

0points

Deborah B 3 years ago

'I'm not like other girls' is the cry of internalised misogyny. It means "I am not the stereotype of 'all girls'". it fails to recognise that 'other girls' aren't either.

0points

J. F. 3 years ago

Amen to that!

0points

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#40

Watch any "the real housewives" type show. Mainly involves gossiping, grouping up against an individual, cancel culture, reputation destruction, phoney empathy and weaponized toxic empathy to justify attacks on a "bad person" etc

FapDancing Report

Final score:

26points

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Carrie Laughs 3 years ago

Glad I've never watched one of those then.

10points

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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What do you think ?

POST

les 3 years ago

The one that really bugs me is womens magazines. They complain about men objectifying women on opinion and letters pages etc then spend the rest of the magazine objectifying hunks in trunks or some similar shite.

24points

Dilly Millandry 3 years ago

People do it on here. Get photos of a man talking about something he's an expert in and coincidentally he's attractive and you can guarantee there is a string of 'he's hot' type remarks. Or even just the 'so pretty' comments in the 'random genetics/unique looks' article up today. Maybe they are but that's not what it's about. Humans are very 'looks' focused. It's a shame but I don't think it's stopping any time soon!

5points

You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here’re 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

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Mantas Kačerauskas