I'm 19 years old, my parents have been divorced since I was 3, and the last time I saw my dad was 10 years ago. He’s retired military so I’m on his medical, and that’s the extent he provides for me.

I message him happy birthday and holiday greetings. This time he was drunk and got mad because I didn’t reply to his text message, even though I made it clear to him that my phone is broken and I’m using one with no sim.

My dad is probably my least favorite person on this earth. He’s emotionally manipulative, abusive, and controlling. He has screwed me over majorly in life. My grandparent’s house was supposed to be sold, and the money was to be given to me per their wishes for my college loans. My dad sold it and kept the money for himself. I am a pharmacist and went through 8 years of school to get my doctorate with no help from my parents, so I have a lot of loans. My dad constantly asks for expensive presents for special occasions or for me to pay for things for him, like my parent’s anniversary dinner at a steak house. It annoys me because it’s like rubbing salt in the wound of the money he stole from me.

I had just turned 18 and moved out of my dad’s apartment into my mom’s because he’d constantly be drinking and saying horrible things to me and then wouldn’t remember it in the morning. I have more of these texts (16 more screenshots to be exact) but they’re kind of painful to read back. I honestly don’t really know if I was entitled to leave like that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I’m the insane one.

My siblings and I have cut our parents out of our lives because for too long there has been manipulation, lying, and just downright nasty behavior. A few weeks back I decided I wanted to reach out to my old stepdad (my parents divorced and married other people a while back, they ended up divorcing those people and getting back together). I wanted to let him know that what was done to him was awful and I also wanted to just reconnect. My parents caught wind of this and that sparked my dad to text me after months of no contact to tell me I’m dead to him.

The last two things he has said to me are that he’s ashamed of me and that I’m dead to him. And then an hour later he told me he loves me with all his heart. I didn’t respond.

He sent me 900$ in 2012, I was using in 2014-2016. When I got sober I made a decision to completely cut him out, he’s extremely racist and “born again Christian” and it’s been going well. The mountains of texts before this public post are similar.

We were all in the same room when he texted me, thinking he was being funny. They’ve been divorced for 16 years.

He got a new bank card and “I need you to do this for me” way of asking to change all his subscriptions last month. I updated it and thought it was that.
I got this message not even 10 minutes ago. He does this every time something small doesn’t go his way and I’m tired of begging for him to calm down or stay in my life. I’m happy to not do anything for him anymore and I don’t care if he goes no contact with me anymore. Guilt-tripping me over an HBO subscription is crazy.

He sent me 45 texts like this before getting bored.

I was homeless because he kicked me out, and I risked where I was staying to have my cat with me.

My dad is very aware of our financial troubles, and it took every cent I had to get pull ups and diapers and put the remaining in gas to get to my uncle’s Thanksgiving, around 35 miles away. My dad says he lives 8 miles from me, but it is actually closer to 20 one way. My dad doesn’t usually do anything for Thanksgiving, and my mom has an order of protection against him and was with us, so I assumed the best place to take the kids to Thanksgiving dinner was my uncle’s who we don’t get to see much.

I don’t have a phone plan, so I didn’t get any of these messages until I got home. I do not live with him, so I’m not worried about my safety. Also, the cut-off message says: “Dad, I don’t have data on my phone”.

Long story short, had to move back home and my dad has never been an affectionate father. I can count on my fingers how many times I have gotten hugs from him, he was also very emotionally abusive to me growing up. As soon as I got back he started hugging me and planting kisses on my cheek and neck and I’ll move away and tell him it's weird and I always receive blacklash from my mother and other relatives that I'm being mean and hes trying to rebuild a relationship with me. He did it again tonight and I tried to pull away from him but he was squeezing me tight and I literally yelled let me go and tried to communicate it again but he’s not getting it.

He has no power to do this. He does not live with us. His justification is that we aren't suited to living together (because the apartment isn't perfectly clean) despite us being very happy with our arrangement. Our roommate and her mom have both tried to tell him that he doesn't get to make that decision for us, but he has ignored them both. His name is on the lease, but only because he and his wife used to rent this apartment before us. They moved out 3 or 4 years ago and now live an hour away. No idea why he thinks this is ok.

I still tried to send an olive branch during the holidays but got this response in return. Some people just want to stay stubborn.

Mind you, I just have short hair, which was styled and curled, and a full face of makeup in the photo.

I grew up having to walk on eggshells around my dad because any perceived slight inconvenience gets turned on you and his mood changes in an instant. We had a productive conversation recently where I finally told him it’s frustrating to deal with and he had a great response and promised to just make an effort to stop and think before reacting. I’m exhausted.

I haven't spoken to my narcissistic dad since I told him it wasn't healthy for me to continue trying to have a relationship with him. This officially ended all forms of communication between us. Now, I'm in a group chat with the only two family members I still talk to. They were upset because they thought I was hiding major life events from them while I've been in quarantine. I'm not sure why my dad tells people I'm married or pregnant; it's likely his way of convincing himself and others that he's still the victim.