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Just because someone is your biological parent doesn’t automatically make them family. Being a father is all about self-sacrifice, supporting your kids through all the ups and downs, and loving them unconditionally.
Unfortunately, not everyone fits the bill. Some dads are downright toxic and deeply mean-spirited. Bored Panda has collected some of the most awful message exchanges that people have ever had with their ‘dads.’ They’re examples of behavior that nobody should have to tolerate, and why healthy boundaries are vital, even when it comes to your relatives.
Warning: this topic may be triggering for some readers.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My Father Tries To Say He Put Me Through College. My $1,000 Monthly Loan Payments Say Otherwise
RELATED:
#2
That's A Father Who Needs To Be Investigated
Lauren Caswell 4 months ago
Ew! This is creepy as, like the promise ring thing (wouldn't be so creepy if it was for either everyone or no-one, rather than just dad's and daughters)
#3
My Stepdad Gave My PC Away To Goodwill. He Said I Waste My Time On It And I Should Be An Auto Mechanic Instead Of Going To College For Computer Science. I Spent Like $800 On That PC
I went to Goodwill and bought it back for $85. They had my computer for sale for $85.
Parenting is a very difficult and sensitive topic to get into. Nearly everyone seems to have strong opinions on raising kids well (and might think others are wrong). There’s no single ‘best’ approach to childcare because a lot depends on the dynamics between your family members.
But broadly speaking, one parenting style is miles better than the alternatives. Spoiler warning: it’s authoritative (not to be confused with authoritarian) parenting.
#4
Insane Dad
ElfVibratorGlitter 4 months ago
Download an app that looks for infrared or RF signals, or even "hidden camera detector" apps. (Yes, I know this is from reddit, but figured I'd post a solution that might help other people.)
#5
Why’d I Have The Same Exact Experience
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 4 months ago
Honestly... my step-daughter's car wouldn't start after she finished work one day. She called, we tried a few things, and I drove over (only about 1/2 hour) in the dark, managed to get it started, and we tentatively drove home with me following her all the way. It's just what you do for your family and the people you care about. To not even ATTEMPT to help is just so s****y.
#6
My Dad Is Sending Me To Boot Camp This Month Because I Didn't Get My Hair Cut The Way He Wanted. I Was Sobbing In The Back Of My Work When He Sent Me These Messages
There are four main parenting styles: authoritative (aka balanced), authoritarian (dictatorial and harsh), permissive (parents see their kids as friends), and uninvolved (neglectful).
To put it bluntly, you should aim to be an authoritative parent because it’s the healthiest for your children when it comes to building self-esteem, resilience, academic success, and emotional and mental well-being.
#7
My Father Tracking Me While I’m On A Date
#8
Once A Month From My Dad
#9
I’m A Recovering Alcoholic Who Just Moved Into A New Apartment. This Is What My Dad Left Me
Your goal as a parent is to create a nurturing and supportive space for your munchkins, where they can not only survive but also thrive and grow into kind, capable, and confident adults.
Authoritative parenting is all about finding the right balance between unconditional love and firm boundaries for your kids.
#10
Last Year's Thanksgiving With Dad Brought This Out. Not The First Time He's Made Comments Like This, And I Was Told I Was Gross For Getting Upset
#11
Dad Decided To Tear My Room Down While I'm Away At College. He Also Threw All Of My Stuff Away Without Asking
#12
For The First Time In My Life, I Stood Up To My Psycho Dad. His Response Was To Cut Me Out Of His Will
Kids need lots of affection and attention, yes, but they also require structure and boundaries. Authoritative parents understand the massive value that clarity provides in a home setting. That’s why they’re so big on open and honest communication.
They establish very clear guidelines for their kids: they explain what behavior is acceptable, what’s not, and why. And they take their children’s feelings and opinions into account.
#13
My Dad Thinks He Is Entitled To My Money (Which I Don't Have Much Of) Because "It's Christmas"
#14
That’s Probably Not The Only One
#15
My Father Sent A Video To A Group Chat With Me And My Brother Of A Guy Smashing His Kid’s TV Because They Forgot Their Chores
That was yesterday morning. Since then, I’ve been getting complete silent treatment and he snaps at my mom and brother whenever they try to speak to him.
These authoritative parents are calm. They’re assertive. They genuinely care about their emotional well-being, but they don’t shy away from setting expectations and rules, too.
It’s important to remember, though, that there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent. No matter what your social media feeds and random parenting blog posts tell you, all parents make mistakes from time to time. And that’s okay.
#16
My Dad Still Thinks I’m 13
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago
Ha! This sounds like my mom - I'm 42 and she still tries to control my life like this.
#17
My Biological Dad And I Have Always Had A Bad Relationship But I Thought We Had Worked Out Something Civil When He Got "Sober". I Received $2 Two Days Before My Wedding
Previously he disowned me for marrying a woman, he also said he had stopped drinking, which wasn’t true. I must also mention that he’s been an absent father and an addict my entire life.
#18
My Father With Whom I Have Little To No Contact, Put Me (24 Years Old) And My Sister (40 Years Old) In A Group Chat To Chastise Us For Not Texting Him On Thanksgiving
About three years ago, my father cheated on my mother after 31 years of marriage. When my sister and I refused to accept the "other woman" as our new stepmom, he flipped out and cut us off because we hurt her feelings. Over the last three years, he has made no steps to apologize and has done irreparable damage to our relationship. He was constantly sending guilt-tripping texts like this to us, and I finally just snapped and blocked him after this.
ucp 4 months ago
I don’t get on with my stepmother. In 2014, after 30+ years, I forgot to send her a birthday card. She sulked for a month, until we all went to my sister’s house for a pre-Christmas get together. That went awfully: the 70+ year old refused to speak to me. That was the last time I saw them. As we left the “party”, my wife pointed out that she hadn’t received a birthday card, message, or wish from them in eight years at that point. One rule for me, another for them.
Parenting isn’t a competition. And you’re not aiming for a ‘perfect’ track record. Instead, you should focus on being there for your kids, guiding them as best as you can, and learning from your mistakes as you go along.
Your success as a parent depends on your kids’ happiness rather than doing things ‘perfectly,’ following the latest parenting trends, and taking influencers’ tips as gospel. Don’t give in to the pressure from social media and your local neighborhood parents to behave a certain way just because it’s popular.
#19
My Dad Making My Accomplishments About Himself
For context, my sister and I are very low contact with our father. There was a small news article about my participation in a space mission and he is upset the journalist didn't credit him for my interest in space.
#20
My Dad Is In Texas Right Now And Is Making Me Send Photos Of My Room Every Day Or He Takes 100$ From My Account
He’s taken 1000$ out of my brother's account for eating a Laffy Taffy, so this is actually pretty tame compared to other stuff.
Rahul Pawa 4 months ago
If you have a job, get your own bank account separate from your parents.
#21
My Dad Volunteered Me To Read At Church At 6 AM. He Also Refuses To Use My New Name
Contrary to authoritative parents, authoritarian parents often don’t care about their kids’ thoughts or feelings about their decisions. They don’t allow for much (if any) room for negotiations and compromise. They simply expect their kids to follow their commands and strict rules to the letter, no matter the context.
Authoritarians are also likely to punish their children for misbehavior and mistakes. They have very high expectations but little flexibility and less ability to be nurturing.
#22
Texted Dad For The First Time In A While To Ask A Simple Question. That Was A Mistake
#23
Stepdad Ate My Only Food I Had For Lunch At Work
Lost Penny 4 months ago
"Omg pls tell me you are joking!! I mix estradiol in my food cause my doctor told me it would be more beneficial that way... Pls tell me you didn't eat/drink that!!"
#24
Gross Text My Girlfriend’s Dad Sent. He Almost Never Contacts Her And Sent This Out Of The Blue. He Never Replied
Meanwhile, permissive parents, unlike authoritarians, tend to have very few expectations for their children. They can be kind, warm, and nurturing, but they’re not the best when it comes to setting up and enforcing rules and boundaries inside and outside of the home.
Often, permissive parents see their kids as their friends, so they rarely discipline them. This, in turn, can lead to their munchkins developing lots of unhealthy habits, which will have a knock-on effect on their health later in life.
#25
My Girlfriend Got These From Her Dad Last Night After Not Answering One Phone Call. Things Like This Happen At Least A Few Times A Month With Her Parents
Lost Penny 4 months ago
Keep the text. If he really reports the car stolen, show the text to the cops, they will have an interesting chat with him.
#26
My Dad Always Knows How To Make Me Feel Guilty For Things I Shouldn’t Have To Feel Guilty Over
#27
Dad Bruises My Arm After Losing His Temper. He’s Not Very Remorseful
Freedom is good. But too much freedom without any guidance can be toxic. Uninvolved, aka neglectful, parents are barely present in their children’s lives. Often, they have barely any expectations of them and don’t offer them a nurturing environment.
This can lead to self-sufficiency, sure, but it also results in poorer academic performance, difficulties maintaining relationships, and problems with emotional control.
#28
I Went Out Of The House For A Bike Ride, And When I Came Back, Dad Locked Me Out Of The House. Luckily, I Had A Back Door Key, But He Physically Forced Me Out Of My Own Home
Liklik Snek 4 months ago
To be fair we have no context here. We only see an overreaction without knowing what pushed the father's limits. He seemed to have cooled down somewhat in the last text, perhaps feeling ashamed about his tantrum.
#29
My Dad Always Insults My Appearance In Pictures, So I Deleted His Comments. A Man Child
#30
I’m So Glad My Dad Is Finally Paying Attention To Me
#31
My Dad Called Me Almost 350 Times, Then Decided To Use A Relative's Recent Death As Leverage. This Is Over Me Packing For School
WindySwede 4 months ago
Move away, don't tell him where, get a new number, never look back again!
#32
My Dad Is Threatening To Call The Cops On Me
The other day I backed into a parked car in a parking lot. I couldn’t find the owner so I called the non-emergency number, left my contact info on the vehicle, and took photos of the incident. I went back to the scene when the owner came back to his car and called me, talked with the police, and agreed to handle this civilly by paying for the minor damages (dent in the rear bumper).
My dad found out and was mad about it but got over it. I went out today and he started calling me to get back home. I didn’t answer so he threatened to call the cops on me for a hit and run (which didn’t happen) and call the owner of the car and tell them to sue me. He then called all my friends and started threatening them too.
#33
How Do I React To This From My Dad?
Jill Rhodry 4 months ago
NC - you react by going NC and get your a**e out of there asap - even if you have to couch surf for a couple of months.
#34
Texting My Dad About A Previously Organized Visit With My 9-Week-Old Baby. We Agreed Yesterday That He Would Come Up Around Lunchtime. How Dare I Suggest A Time For Him To Arrive
#35
My Grandma Is In The ER And All My Dad Is Thinking Of Is Calling Me
#36
Conversation With My Dad About Him Forcing Me To Sleep On The Couch So His Other Kids Can Have My Room
#37
I Am 22 Years Old, Living On My Own With My Husband, And My Dad Still Tries To Control What I Do
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 4 months ago
Why are you still listening to the bumnugget, cut him out of your life.
#38
Dad Decided To Throw My Boots Away Because They're In The "Middle" Of The Way
Lauren Caswell 4 months ago
Mine got flung sarcastically past my door at times. But never thrown away. And he once left his shoes in the walkway, so I threw them past the door of the room he was in. Got a sigh and a nod of understanding
#39
Gotta Love My Homophobic Dad. I Wasn't Even Intentionally Making An LGBTQ+ Design, Just Wanted A Rainbow
Anna Ekberg 4 months ago
Rainbow mafia?? That actually sounds like something cool, can we all join?
#40
Didn’t Give My Dad 150$ For Beer. He Must Have Found Some Money Somewhere, Because He Drunk Texted Me This Lovely Mess
#41
Dad Gave Away My Cat A Couple Of Months After I Moved Out. He Refuses To Tell Me Where He Is. I Can't Pursue Legal Action Because I'm 14 And He Was In Legal Ownership
#42
A Text From My Father, Who Has Blamed Me For All Of His Marriage Problems With My Mom Since I Was 9 Years Old. He Sent Me This Gem While My Husband Was Deployed
#43
I’m The Only Kid In The Family Who Didn’t Become A Doctor. My Mom Forced My Dad To Post For My Graduation Since He Always Brags About My Doctor And Dentist Siblings. This Is What I Got
#44
23 And Can’t Spend Time With My Boyfriend, Without Dad Constantly Threatening To Come To His House
#45
My Father Sent Me This For My Birthday. The Bottom Says "You Didn’t Think This Was A Birthday Gift, Did You?"
#46
This Was Completely Out Of Nowhere
I was at work and sent my dad this, he’s been kinda moody lately, so I was just sending it as more of a heads up. Keep in mind, my name is also on the lease and I pay half the rent. Also this girl is also like my sister and she moved away a year ago, she is also only in town for today and tomorrow.
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 months ago
"You're absolutely right, I DGAF how you feel. Just letting you know I was having company."
#47
My Brother Has Some Major Behavioral Issues, So I Put My Mom And Dad Into A Group Chat So They Can Work Out Putting Him In Therapy. My Dad Refuses, And Has No Problem Calling Him A Loser
#48
I Turned Off My Location Services For My Own Privacy. My Dad, Citing Safety Reasons, Turned Off My Wireless Data Until I Share My Location
Jaymi Leigh 4 months ago
This one depends on context. How old is the child? Where do they live / what potential risks are in their environment? If my teenaged child was in the city on their own or even with friends I would like to keep track where they are for their own safety. You never who could be around them and teens don't always make the best decisions. Or maybe this child has broke their dad's trust in the past...
#49
My Dad And I Were Having Such A Nice Conversation For Once, Until This
Rayne OfSalt 4 months ago
"They" has been a singular pronoun in English since the 14th century, long before "you" was singular. Dad needs to go back to english classes.
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What do you think ?
Jen Hart 4 months ago
No...I don't think I will click to see ALL 109?!? 😿
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Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 4 months ago
A little message to ärsehole dads. Your children are not your property or possessions. It was your decision to have children, not theirs. They owe you fűck all. If you had a shįtty childhood because of your parents, I'm sorry, but that's no excuse to do the same to you kids. Break the cycle, don't perpetuate it.
Frank Sterle 4 months ago
Well said. ... As a moral rule, a mentally as well as physically sound future should be every child’s fundamental right — along with air, water, food and shelter — especially considering the very troubled world into which they never asked to enter; a world in which Child Abuse Prevention Month [every April] clearly needs to run 365 days of the year. The health of all children needs to be of real importance to everyone — and not just concern over what other parents’ children might or will cost us as future criminals or costly cases of government care, etcetera — regardless of how well our own developing children are doing. Mindlessly ‘minding our own business’ often proves humanly devastating. Yet, largely owing to the Only If It’s In My Own Back Yard mindset, the prevailing collective attitude (implicit or subconscious) basically follows: ‘Why should I care — my kids are alright?’ or ‘What's in it for me, the taxpayer, if I support social programs for other people's troubled kids?'
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I_need_a_nap. 4 months ago
I don’t know which one of you is talking, but I wholeheartedly agree.
Load More Replies... Jen Hart 4 months ago
No...I don't think I will click to see ALL 109?!? 😿
Load More Replies... Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 4 months ago
A little message to ärsehole dads. Your children are not your property or possessions. It was your decision to have children, not theirs. They owe you fűck all. If you had a shįtty childhood because of your parents, I'm sorry, but that's no excuse to do the same to you kids. Break the cycle, don't perpetuate it.
Frank Sterle 4 months ago
Well said. ... As a moral rule, a mentally as well as physically sound future should be every child’s fundamental right — along with air, water, food and shelter — especially considering the very troubled world into which they never asked to enter; a world in which Child Abuse Prevention Month [every April] clearly needs to run 365 days of the year. The health of all children needs to be of real importance to everyone — and not just concern over what other parents’ children might or will cost us as future criminals or costly cases of government care, etcetera — regardless of how well our own developing children are doing. Mindlessly ‘minding our own business’ often proves humanly devastating. Yet, largely owing to the Only If It’s In My Own Back Yard mindset, the prevailing collective attitude (implicit or subconscious) basically follows: ‘Why should I care — my kids are alright?’ or ‘What's in it for me, the taxpayer, if I support social programs for other people's troubled kids?'
Load More Replies... I_need_a_nap. 4 months ago
I don’t know which one of you is talking, but I wholeheartedly agree.
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