Hypothetically, what would you do if your dog started speaking English? For example, you came home one day, and you heard your dog talking on the phone? Asking for a friend…
If you’re in the mood to read about some oddly detailed scenarios that might make you raise your eyebrows, you’ve come to the right place, pandas. Below, we’ve gathered some of our favorite posts from the Suspiciously Specific subreddit that might have you wondering what inspired people to post them. Enjoy reading about these hilarious, bizarre situations, and be sure to upvote the pics that make you wonder what these people have been through!
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Would Be Interesting
I Love It
Free Coffee
I did not see it going there.. I was thinking swap places so they all return the right car to right place, but they all insist they are the same person who left with it.
We all know there’s no limits to what you can find online. Whether you want hard hitting news, adorable pictures of cats, shocking videos on TikTok or photos of your friends’ vacations, you can find it all! But one interesting niche of content is “suspiciously specific” posts. This genre contains all of the questionable tweets, Facebook posts and more that describe bizarre, sometimes “hypothetical,” scenarios that might have you wondering who in the world is actually experiencing these things.
And while this kind of content can be found in all of the different corners of the internet, one place that compiles plenty of this content is the Suspiciously Specific subreddit. This group was created in 2018 but has already amassed an impressive 1.3 million members. The community has more recently transitioned to focusing on Among Us fanart and memes, but lucky for us, members had already shared a variety of hilarious, oddly specific posts.
Gracelynn, Where Art Thou?
New Fear Unlocked
2020 Was So Easy Back Then
Tf? We suddenly started playing Fallout when I wasn’t looking? Where’s my adorable canine companion and my power armour dammit!
I think we’ve all been in a scenario where we asked a question “for a friend,” that was a bit too specific to ask if we didn’t actually have experience with the topic… “My friend is having relationship troubles,” or, “My cousin has a medical question that she’s too embarrassed to ask.” Well, many of these posts are the virtual equivalents of those, often used for comedic effect of course. And according to Candace Osmond at Grammarist, this is an easy way for us to save face when we’re worried about being judged.
While there’s no way of pinpointing exactly where the classic “asking for a friend” phrase came from, it doesn’t seem to be anything new. Anonymous advice columns have been popular in newspapers and websites for decades, so it’s no surprise that we’ve implemented a similar style of posting on social media as well. Even if something is shared “hypothetically,” if it’s too specific, it’s going to raise some eyebrows.
Nicknames
Suspicious And Wholesome!
Free The Frog!
Although many of the posts on this list were shared online for comedic purposes, regardless of whether they’re referring to real situations or not, this content got me wondering about whether we’re oversharing online. As much fun as posting on social media can be, we have to remember to have boundaries too. According to Van-Hau Trieu, Senior Lecturer in Information Systems at Deakin University, and Vanessa Cooper, Professor of Information Systems at RMIT University, there are personal and professional risks associated with oversharing. Research has shown that over half of us have anxiety surrounding our family, friends and coworkers sharing photos or videos that we don’t want public.
3..2..1.. Go!
Til
If you're really desperate, and the "one last drink before you go?" didn't work, leave the room and change into nightwear and return to the room and say "oh well, we're off to bed now."
That's Something
In an already slightly moldy tub of yoghurt, sitting in the back of the fridge. But in view, only half obscured by a vaguely orange tupperware with some cheese and half a tomato in it, and maybe an almost empty jar of pickles. Stick your hand in there, agent Smith.
If you're someone who hoards Christmas decorations like myself, you take the USB and tape it to the inside of a Christmas village house. From there, you place it back in the protective styrofoam which then goes into its box. Typically, said box is then placed in some sort of tote box along with other miscellaneous decor. Tote box is then placed with the remaining Christmas/holiday decor in the back corner of the attic where it will promptly be forgotten about until the following Christmas.
In 30 minutes? It would take me 30 minutes to find that decoration..
Load More Replies...This actually happened to me, but the FBI did find my flash drive. I'm currently writing this from my prison cell. Pro tip: Don't hide a flash drive in the freezer, it was the first place they checked.
A guy on a watch list is having an email conversation with his aging farmer father. The father bemoans the fact that he's gotten too old to break up the dirt to plant his crops and that he thinks he's being watched by police. The son emails back "whatever you do, don't let them search the back yard! That's where I buried the evidence!" The next day, police raided the father's house and thoroughly dug up the yard, but found nothing. When the father told his son about the raid, the son said, "there. Now, you can do your planting."
Inside a tampax box. That's how I hid things from my brothers as a teenager.
That’s how I’m hiding stuff from my bro currently. Still hasn’t found anything.
Load More Replies...Assuming you want it in one piece, the seal of the fridge at the bottom, wedged with some gum so it doesn't move and rattle. Or unscrew a plug socket and chuck it into the wall.
I would eat it :] they never gonna search my gut
Load More Replies...Knowing my cats, they'd did it out and want to play fetch with it.
Load More Replies...Given the state of our FBI, hiding it in plain sight would do the trick.
Plug it into the computer. I am the only person in my house that can find it there.
Melt margarine in a tub, put the USB in now empty tub, pour the margarine back in the tub and let it solidify again.
Do not let the margarine untouched like it's new. Scrape some at the end of the tub like you already started to eat it. Also, smear very thin traces of strawberry jam like the knife was used before, for authenticity.
Load More Replies...Right next to the laptop. That's where I put mine and it takes days for me to find it.
Unscrew the mop handle; place the USB there, screw it back on. Toss it in the utility closet. (I have more ideas; send ca$$$$h, FBI).
sealed in plastic wrap and submerged inside "hand lotion w/ lanolin" bottle next to a fleshlight and a vibrating butt plug
...or in the service end of the fleshlight itself.
Load More Replies...Going with logic, you could locate it with a metal detector or xray as well as obviously physically finding it. So you'd want to hide it either somewhere that's never going to be searched (unlikely) or somewhere that it's not going to be noticed. So something with metal and circuit boards to disguise it. Ideally something that may fly under their radar. Assuming you're the sort with sex toys a Vibrator seems ideal. Take the USB casing off, open the vibrator up and place the USB circuit board in where the vibrator circuit board goes. Reseal the vibrator. Splash some lube on the toy (or something else sticky) drop it on the bed with a couple other toys and meet the FBI agents in your underwear when they knock on the door. Oh, and don't forget to completely destroy the USB casing, assuming it's plastic like most just melt it or burn it or flush it down the loo.
If you can't figure out how to do the vibratory just stick it up there and put the vibratory up in there too. If in your a*s use a butt plug. Pretty sure you could also just put it up there if you don't have anything to block it.
Load More Replies...off the top of my head, I'm gonna go with drying out the cap on my wife's shaving cream in the show and taping it to the inside, then putting the cap back on. After I'm done, I'll take a relaxing shower to get everything all wet so they won't suspect that I'd hide anything where it's wet.
I’d tape it to the top of the pipe in that hole in the toilet… don’t know if I want it back.
how about the bottom of a box of kids cereal?, or a full tube of Pringle, a full tube of pringles,, or thos springtubesmaybe in one of those "useless switchbox robots" dependinon it's size, you might be able to store it inside of a wireless mouse in place of the dongle
I just bought a low-profile USB the same size as my mouse dongle. This never would have occurred to me :-)
Load More Replies...Wrapped in plastic, secured inside a used period pad stuffed about midway down a bathroom trashcan as it is been a day or two.
30 minutes? Grab a leftover cork, cut in half latitudinally, then measure it. Rout out a hole the same diameter as the half cork—but deep enough to hold both half cork and USB—in the top surface of a door (the part that's above eye level and concealed by the doorframe). Wrap the USB in some tissue so it won't rattle, pop it in the hole, and pound in the cork. When you want to retrieve it, use a corkscrew. Oh, don't forget to sweep up the sawdust and light some incense to obscure the smell of freshly routed wood; attention to detail is crucial. You don't want them to be able to see, feel, hear, or smell the thing you're trying to hide. (Presumably, they lack the ability to search by taste.)
20 years ago I would have just said in one of the 500 plastic containers my mother kept in the pantry "just in case". Took me two months to get it emptied, and I never realized how much space was in there until I finished. Can you see those big, strong FBI agents taking the lid off every single container to see if there's something taped inside one? I can't!
TIL places not to hide USB drive: litter box, electrical outlet, tampon box.
behind one arm of the toilet paper holder, taped behind the wall insert for your washer water hook ups, many others
Take a loaf of French bread and slice it in half horizontally. Place the USB drive on the bottom half. Replace the top. Then cover the entire loaf with chocolate frosting and place it in the refrigerator. (Not my idea - Nero Wolfe's.)
I'd open a tin from the bottom, place it inside then reseal, put back with other tins :/
In my high school dorm. The top of the metal doors were recessed. I would drop my joints into the top of the door to the room next door. Even if someone found it I was in the clear.
Plenty of time to hide it in the walls behind an outlet or light switch
Right on the counter. Next to the 4 cups of pens and pencils, 6 different chargers to who know what, in between the mail I haven’t opened and the mail I have opened but then piled back up for no reason. It’ll be so commonplace to see that their minds will ignore it.
I have a 5+ foot corn snake, under the bedding in his viv, under his warm hide... So many people are scared of snakes, it seems like the best option .
I live in the country. I'd just run out in the back yard and chuck it into the middle of the cornfield. Or maybe the woods on the other side of the house...
i once recieved a usb that turns into a bracelet. i would hide the usb on my wrist.
Someplace where the FBI agent would not find it. I ain't telling you because I don't know if you are an FBI agent.
Wait, I already can't find the cash my mom sent for my birthday that I hid.
Use a USB that doesn't look like a USB and leave it in plain sight.
Watch the original "Running Man," and learn from Mistress Maria Conchita Alonzo.
Inside the toilet box thingy maybe? Make the water murky and put the usb under a fake floor
At the bottom of a box of tampons. Any man alive would rather eat his dog's vomit than look through a box of tampons and women respect each other's feminine products and wouldn't get one without asking, much less search it for something.
Put between 2 layers of garbage bags put a bag in thwn usb in the bag then garbage bag 2 and fill with food scraps and animals bagged waste anything scary and put that can under the sink
They look there. And empty all your cereal and rice into the sink
Load More Replies...I’ve got the Harmon/Kardon Soundsticks speakers. I’d hide it in the sub woofer speaker.
Oversharing often has innocent intentions, though, as it’s linked to how we’re feeling. “When we feel strong emotions, we often use social media to communicate with and get support from friends, family and colleagues,” Trieu and Cooper write. “We might share good news when we feel happy or excited, or anger and frustration might drive us to vent about our employers. When emotional, it is easy for us to cross the boundary between work and social life, underestimating the consequences of social media posts that can quickly go viral.”
You Can't Put Them Anywhere
Forget astrological signs, tell me your childhood compulsive behaviour foreshadowing lifelong hangups. Mine was never being able to use video game powerups because I might regret not having them later.
Ratatat 2 E
21st Century Surnames
To ensure that we aren’t oversharing too much online, Trieu and Cooper recommend that we all set defined boundaries between our personal and professional lives. Inform your friends, family and colleagues about these boundaries, and rethink your relationships with anyone who doesn’t respect them. It can also be wise to create separate social media accounts for personal and professional use, or to keep your pages private to ensure you know exactly who’s able to view your content.
Roosters Are The Best
Neighbour keeps hens and a rooster. Henhouse is next to a street light. Light makes the rooster crow, day and night. Roosters only last a year or so before they die of exhaustion.....We are currently in the no rooster phase - yay.
Apologise To Mr Hoskins
Well Then
And maybe Ed Sheeran hears about the incident and writes a song dedicated to you!
It’s also important to make sure that you respect the boundaries of others. If you plan on posting photos or videos of friends, it’s courteous to ask for their permission before sharing them publicly. And if anyone asks not to be featured on your account, make sure that you don’t overstep. Trieu and Cooper also add to share consciously online, to avoid making mistakes. They recommend staying offline when you’re feeling emotional, especially when you’re upset, and to always consider who will see your content before publishing it. If there’s anything you don’t want family or colleagues to see, perhaps it shouldn’t be out there.
Ok Josh
Relatable
Ok
My cat brought in a baby bird once, and I rescued it from the feline terrorist and nursed it back to health. I put it into a pizza box and named it Pizza.Two days later I released it back into the wild, and watched from the patio as a crow came and carried it away. But I knew the crows in the trees had babies. I was heartbroken but... that's nature. I am still unsure how I feel about that. Moral dilemma.
It’s always wise to do periodic clean ups on your social media accounts as well. If you find something from 5 years ago that doesn’t align with your beliefs anymore, just delete it. Yes, it’s possible that plenty of people have already viewed it, but you have the chance to minimize who else can or even eliminate anyone else from seeing it in the future. Especially for the average person who doesn’t have a huge following online, it can make a big difference to simply hit delete on questionable posts.
What Did The Frog Do?
Mood
Reminds me of the time I asked my supervisor to give me all my remaining holiday time just to get away from a toxic workplace as soon and for as long as possible. My first day back supervisor gives me a hearty "So you're relaxed and refreshed now that you're back after your break." no doubt expecting an enthusiastic eager beaver response. I just look him straight in eye and said deadpan "I'm back."
Dementia Is A Game For 2 Or More Players
If you’re worried about oversharing, Trieu and Cooper recommend treating social media like your own personal brand. “If you wouldn’t say it to your colleagues and managers, don’t post it online,” they write. “Social media can enrich our professional and personal lives, but ill-considered posts and oversharing can be damaging to yourself and others. Being smart on social media is something we need to get better at in our professional lives, just as much as our personal lives.”
There’s No One In Their Basement
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Actually that is a fair point. Why do mobile games want access to photo galleries and camera on your phone?
114 Is A Lot Of Cats, For Sure
Why would you want to fight them off? Why not just accept what we all know to be true and bow down to our feline overlords? Pet some of the cats while you're down there.
We hope you’re enjoying all of these suspiciously specific posts from social media, pandas. Keep upvoting the ones you find particularly intriguing, and feel free to share about your own oddly specific “hypothetical” situations in the comments below. Then, if you’re looking for even more bizarre and oddly specific posts, feel free to check out this Bored Panda article next!
Could You Imagine
Just Some Guy
Does This Go Here
My Lil Bro Takes Video Games Very Seriously
Guilty As Charged...
They Complete Each Other
Shakespeare Of Our Time
With Your Hair Softly Blowing In The Wind
No. I feel like a disappointed English teacher. And like a NORMAL person, I make that duck face and look disappointed, like a student just tried to tell me the real narrative of an over-annotated classic. Duh.
It’s A Family Secret
I've told this story before, so forgive me if you've heard it already: had a friend give me her mom's recipe for Coca-Cola cake, then got ticked off when I gave the "secret family recipe" to friends. 1) she never told me it was a secret prior to me giving it out; 2) I bought a cookbook of bake sale recipes a couple decades later, and guess what was in it, almost verbatim?
Jack Black
Typical Shrimp Watch
Sky Bird!
Does Your Town Have A Horseback Jesus?
In my city, right on my block, we have Old Nessa. She is a lovely old lady who quietly drinks in the same spot every afternoon for about three hours. She knows everyone and every piece of gossip. If you want any gossip, give her a cigarette and she'll tell you everything. She is very kind. [Edit: Old Nessa is not homeless. She goes out for a few hours every day to get away from her boyfriend, who she constantly complains about. She's 76yrs old and has a toyboy 20yrs younger. Go Nessa!]
Ipod
Lovelighting And Gasbombing
I Want A Tree From This Guy
Mrs. Evans would put the weed in her purse, buy a tree and have the best time ever putting those ornaments on.
Is There Something You Need To Tell Us?
Reading about Ben Franklin makes me think he would be disappointed you aren't sharing
Only A 7.5
Who Hasn't ?
The Future People
Anyone Know The Meme?
I don't understand. HOW were these so funny. I was laughing all the way through
I'm close to my Millennial staff. It was one such young lady that cooked me dinner. She's taught me a lot.
Hi Lori, I only noticed I suicide joke; the rest was mostly crazy thoughts we have and are glad others are weird like us too. Sorry if anything upset you hun. Hope all is well with you. ♥️
Load More Replies...I don't understand. HOW were these so funny. I was laughing all the way through
I'm close to my Millennial staff. It was one such young lady that cooked me dinner. She's taught me a lot.
Hi Lori, I only noticed I suicide joke; the rest was mostly crazy thoughts we have and are glad others are weird like us too. Sorry if anything upset you hun. Hope all is well with you. ♥️
Load More Replies...