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Sometimes toddlers do the craziest things. One moment they're little angels and another, they act like a hurricane in a room. You can't really understand what they're thinking and why they're doing all these weird things, but one blogger decided to imagine what Facebook status updates by toddlers would look like.

Mommy Shorts is a blog created by Ilana Wiles. This amazing mother of two little girls has been sharing her ideas on the ups and downs of parenting for 7 years now, and has been a full-time blogger since 2013.

Inspired by other websites and blogs that at some point shared the thoughts of toddlers, she asked her fans to tell her their toddler’s current status update and many people were happy to assist. Then Ilana simply created updates and they turned out to be hilarious.

Take a look at these updates below and be sure to vote for your favorites.

More info: mommyshorts.com

#1

This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

mommy shorts Report

Lillian Chesak
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My niece did this when she was 5. It was pretty gross, especially when she walked down the stairs saying that she got new earrings. I looked up and saw she had two tampons hanging from her ears XD

Misterscooter
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life hack: Jam a few down the hole first so she thinks she got all of them out but SURPRISE, still won't flush.

Mangoes'nRum
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I opened up a pack of my dads disposable razor blades. My dad did not leave them lying around. I was just very creative in getting to them. My thinking was that if those things made dads face smooth, it would logically also work on ones finger tips, which it did, after the first two passes. After the third pass I discovered I had blood, hated injections, and that moms just 'know' when their kids do stupid s**t.

Jenny King
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boys used them for logs in their little dump trucks

Mike Hansen
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did this when I was about 11, except they were my sisters!!! I didn't know what they were and nobody would tell me!!!! Of course this was back in the early '70s!!!!! LOL

WhiteFox
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yes and what happens if ur mom had her period on that time and all the tampons are gone...

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    #2

    This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

    mommy shorts Report

    Mangoes'nRum
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom is the world. No mom in sight is armageddon. Right up to the age of about 6. Then they suddenly turn pseudo-independent. "I don't need mom or dad for anything. As long as Anything only extends to breaking stuff, the peace and wind"

    Mirelle Freeman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is it that the toddler who wrote the post name is Cassie S but in the comments section, it's the same profile picture but the name is now Thomas L with the comment "UPDATE: She came back. Sorry for the false alarm" - huh??? Did she suddenly stop identifying as a girl named Cassie & started identifying as a boy named Thomas all in under a minute?? 😂😂

    Beatz Girl (Erica)
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did the update come from a different person with the same profile photo...?

    Andrea Seiden Giroux
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my one and a half year old anytime I go anywhere in the house she can't follow.

    #3

    This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

    mommy shorts Report

    Dani Donovan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son is 15 and he still says he needs to “get a snack” right when we tell him to get in bed.

    Dani Donovan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oops! Wrong post. Wish we could edit / delete comments

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    #4

    This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

    mommy shorts Report

    John Louis
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I told mommy I didn't want the blue sippy cup, until my younger brother got it and then I ripped out of his hand.

    Bobbi Newell
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I rotated the sippy cups, so that they could "all take turns!"

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    #5

    This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

    mommy shorts Report

    Misterscooter
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then, wait for the bubbles to disappear. And ask for more.

    Gen Hughes
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Toddler: 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Don't make me hop in the bath' Me: 'Hop in the bath NOW' 30 minutes later. Me: 'Hop out of the bath NOW' Toddler: 'NOOOOOOOOOOO I love the bath.'

    #6

    This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

    mommy shorts Report

    Dani Donovan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son is 15 and he still says he needs to “get a snack” right when we tell him to get in bed.

    Dana Miller
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he doesn't want to go to bed :)

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    Rachel Krug
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg my 3yr old son does both of these thing lol

    #7

    This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

    mommy shorts Report

    riley.girl
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are so accurate! I can't stop reading!

    #8

    This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

    mommy shorts Report

    Misterscooter
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'll fall asleep in the car five minutes before getting home. Then I'm reinvigorated and amped up until just before dinner when I'll fall apart."

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    #9

    This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

    mommy shorts Report

    just a thought !
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kara : "don't tell me yours is the blue one!" 😂😂

    Lillian Chesak
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sister's comment: "... sorry?"

    #10

    This Is What Would Happen If Toddlers Could Post On Facebook

    mommy shorts Report

    John Louis
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The dog loves to be hit with things he shows his approval by making funny sounds.

    Ereshkigal Inanna
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretty sure this is the possessive? The tail belongs to the cat, so "it's" is actually correct.

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