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Hilarious And Creative Tinder Bios That Put Yours To Shame

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The dreaded Tinder bio. Or, as we like to call it, the bane of your online dating experience. Its duty is to show off your personality without making you sound like an overconfident douchebag. And if you’re like us, you’ve been pulling your hair out trying to come up with a funny bio that is creative enough to stand out from the crowd. It all adds up to one big headache that makes you want to throw your phone against the wall.

That said, you’ve probably noticed that most Tinder profiles are empty or full of cliches. That’s no surprise, though. People tend to lean on familiar tropes when writing about themselves. But then, swipe after swipe, your eyes finally catch on to something different — a profile that is just as funny and interesting as that sexy human it belongs to.

That’s what we’re talking about today. Tinder has a reputation as a hookup app, but trust us when we say it’s also an incredible source of pure comedy. The Tinderverse is full of clever people with beautiful faces who are all trying to do the same thing: get noticed, and some have done it incredibly well. So we engaged in a swiping marathon and found what we’re sure are the best Tinder bios ever.

These bios are so good they will put yours to shame. There’s probably no copyright on them, so feel free to blatantly steal these examples of dating profiles for yourself, take some rizz lines, and go find some lovely people. Or just use them as inspiration to create your own, you lazy bum. Enjoy!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

“Threesome? No thanks… If I wanted to disappoint two people in the same room, I’d have dinner with my parents.”

72points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Old, still funny, but old.

13points

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#2

“I like long walks on the beach with my girlfriend, until the highness wears off and I realize I’m just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy’s parking lot.”

66points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Funny lol, scary, but really funny lol.

12points

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#3

"Last time I was someone’s type I was donating blood."

61points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Brilliant, and Im stealing it.

11points

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#4

"If you're looking for a bad boy, look no further. I'm bad at everything."

49points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

We're meant to be together 🥰

9points

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#5

“The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I’m singing Fergalicious and it’s at the part where she says, ‘I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness, he’s my witness,’ I can point to him and he’ll do the little, ‘wooOOH’ part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it’s stressful because right after the wooOOH part I have to get right back into rapping and the transition is harder than you think.”

47points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

#Priorities. WooOOHH.

10points

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#6

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him if he’s going to eat the rest of that pizza.”

46points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

We can get a second pizza if you like.

15points

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#7

“Two reasons to date me:
1. Because you’d be the good-looking one
2. Please.”

44points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Yup, i could use this, and no One could acuse me of lying.

6points

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#8

"Titanic.
...Sorry, that was a horrible ice breaker."

43points

Yvette Desmarais 2 years ago

That's funny.

9points

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#9

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then leave because I don’t have a best. I’m always awful.”

42points

Lauren S 2 years ago

Want to meet up? We can hold hands and exchange self deprecating comments?

10points

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#10

“Current relationship status: Made dinner for two. Ate both.”

42points

sofacushionfort 2 years ago

Both dinners or both diners?

21points

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#11

“About:

English
Terrible comedian
6ft – perfect big spoon
Uncle
Good cook
Animal Lover
Winner of a beauty contest in Monopoly
Owner of car
Good whistler
Gym goer
Spider killer
Disney World regular
Best hair where I work
Two dogs in a human costume

Reviews:

5 Stars: ‘A perfect gentleman’ – Anonymous Tinder woman
5 Stars: ‘Made 50 Shades of Grey seem as tame as the Teletubbies’ – Anonymous Tinder woman
1 Star: ‘Stop asking me for a review you weirdo’ – Anonymous Tinder woman
5 Stars: ‘So sweet’ – Mark’s mum.”

42points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

The only review I believe is the one from Mark's mum.

5points

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#12

“Professional bathroom singer. Seeking a duet partner.”

42points

Yvette Desmarais 2 years ago

That's cute.

11points

#13

“For the love of God, someone please date me so I can stop taking my mom to costume parties.”

36points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

I'd gladly take my mom to costume parties, she'll do all the interacting while I stand in a corner on my phone with her constantly saying "you can't just stand in the corner on your phone".

10points

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#14

“Hello Ladies,
Look at the last guy you matched, now back to me, now back to the last guy you matched, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me but if he stopped leaving his bio blank and had better pictures, he could be like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on Tinder with the man of your dreams. What’s in your hand, back to me. I have it. It’s a pizza with your favorite toppings on it. Look again, the pizza is now your favorite dog. Anything’s possible when you match me on Tinder.”

35points

K W 2 years ago

Solid sense of humor. Makes me wonder how old the guy is since the ads this is based on were at least a decade ago. Unless I've missed new ones.

5points

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#15

“I always keep a loaded gun on my nightstand in the event of an intruder, so I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people.”

34points

aZZy_d3Lta 2 years ago

ayyyyyyyyy

2points

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#16

"On the topic of nude photos I'd like to remind you of a little story; In 1912 a girl had a nude photo drawn in a sketch book by a random guy that no one's ever heard of. The drawing gets locked in a safe, on a boat. The boat sinks. And her nude photo still ends up on TV 84 years later.
So no, I will not be sending nudes. No one is safe."

34points

Lauren S 2 years ago

Draw me like one of your French girls!

9points

#17

“On our first date, I will carve our initials into a tree. It’s the most romantic way of letting you know I have a knife.”

33points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Lol, we have a little Psycho Over here.

5points

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#18

"Married. Couple of kids. Looking for some side action. Just kidding. Single. 3 Tamagotchis. Looking for someone to take to family events so they’ll stop thinking something’s wrong with me.”

33points

AVGucky 2 years ago

Sadly, i married such a guy for only that reason - but HE told me too late but kept saying it was "love" for a few years while refusing to share leisure with me. So I couldn't cancel the wedding but had to go through the divorce. 😖 Saying this in a dating profile, however, is funny!

8points

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#19

“I’m looking for a girl who is super mean. She also has to be really clingy and jealous. I prefer women who talk a lot about their ex and a love for da bootyliciousness. In my free time, I like to take off my shirt and take selfies. I’m super in shape thanks to my strict diet of Mountain Dew and Twizzlers. We’re a Twizzler family, Red Vines have no place in my home. I work nights fighting crime. I’m not saying I’m Batman but I am saying no one has seen the Riddler in Austin, Texas.”

32points

Lauren S 2 years ago

I drink Mt Dew like most people drink coffee. Twizzlers, especially the cherry nibs are bomb. Red Vines should be illegal. I don’t fight crime, but I deal with the aftermath (work in a juvenile prison). I don’t wear a bra or pants when I’m home, but have never felt the urge to take selfies; however, I’m great at clicking a button if you’d like to get a new angle of yourself. If you’d prefer me mean, clingy, jealous, and emotionally unstable all I’d have to do would be to stop taking my meds. And oddly, not a single word of this is false. Maybe someone should get me this guy’s number?

10points

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#20

"If you’re looking for someone with common sense, patience, and intelligence… Keep looking."

32points

Headless Roach 2 years ago (edited)

Not gonna lie, you had me at 'someone'

13points

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#21

“Just doing this because my girlfriend did. She said it doesn’t mean anything. Message the hell out of me.”

28points

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#22

“I don’t have nightmares, I create them.”

28points

James016 2 years ago

Dream is on Tinder?

7points

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#23

"Not looking for anything serious… but if my dog likes you then maybe we could give it a try."

28points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

Yep, once my cat is cool with you, we're cool.

10points

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#24

"Pros: Great at making pasta.
Cons: Can only make pasta."

27points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

You gotta find someone who can make a great meatball and sauce.

9points

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#25

“Gonna get tattoos of dogs on my arms and then get really buff so when I am a fly cutie I can be like, ‘Excuse me but do you know where a vet is because I’ve got some SICK PUPPIES?’ and then I’ll flex so hard my shirt sleeves rip and they’ll blown away by my arms, my devotion to dogs and my sense of humor.”

26points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

That's a pretty cool idea though. Lol

7points

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#26

"Pros and cons of dating me:
Pro: you won’t be single.
Con: you’ll be dating me."

26points

#27

“Sometimes life hands you lemons that are worth two in the bush, I like puppies.”

25points

Lauren S 2 years ago

A bird in hand doesn’t judge a book by its lemonade. Cats.

12points

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#28

“I still ride on the back of shopping carts when I shop.”

25points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

I drift it around corners if that counts.

11points

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#29

"Pro: not afraid of spiders
Con: afraid of moths

Pro: can cook
Con: will try to get you to do the dishes

Pro: can probably out-drink you
Con: probably actually can't but will try anyways

Pro: really cuddly
Con: lacks personal space when asleep

Pro: loves animals
Con: may steal your pets

Pro: has a good sense of humor
Con: none. I'm funny"

25points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Another good One to " steal "

4points

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#30

“Don’t judge me on my age. I just want a guy to buy me flowers, send me a million cute texts and call me mine. I’ll make you food so wife me up.”

23points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Some One give my contacto to this woman lol.

5points

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#31

“I never use this sober.”

23points

#32

“Don’t ask me to ‘send some pics’. Take me out on a date, buy me some food and try to get me naked at the end like a real gentleman.”

22points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Só classy, She got me at " buy me some food "

8points

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#33

“I’m on Tinder to make friends the same way I’m on naughty internet side to see the plumber repair the sink.”

20points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

The sink isn't going to get repaired is it?

6points

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#34

“I’m banking on your standards being a lot lower than mine.”

20points

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#35

“I message first. Every single time. You won’t beat me.”

20points

samuel the (???) 1 year ago

ah, a worthy challenger

2points

#36

''If you’re looking for someone who is spontaneous, look elsewhere. I need at least 2 weeks notice."

20points

E Menendez 2 years ago

I feel this.

2points

#37

“Let’s be honest; I’m on Tinder and my first picture is of me in a bikini. I’m not looking for a relationship or a friend.”

19points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

At least they're honest about it.

7points

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#38

“80s music brings me back to good times like when I wasn’t alive.”

19points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

I see what you did there ;)

2points

#39

“I asked my yoga teacher if she could teach me to do the splits, she said, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t do Tuesdays.”

18points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Ba dum tsssss ( if this was a woman, instante swipe right )

3points

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#40

“I am a rocket scientist. I’ve appeared on the cover of GQ – twice. And after mastering Italian, I became an international super spy. Right now, I’m yachting my way across the Caribbean, stealing top-secret information, and sipping Mai Tais… shaken, not stirred. Okay, fine. I exaggerated *just* a smidge. But I do like a good Mai Tai and I got a B+ in my 5th grade science class. Message me for more straight talk and I’ll send you FB links, photos of science fair trophies and much MUCH more…”

18points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

I do have some medals from a sports day I attended. Got a 99 on my Form 3 Physics exam too.

2points

#41

“Hit me up with 1 for a cheesy pickup line, 2 for a dad joke.”

18points

Lauren S 2 years ago

2 please!

1point

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#42

"I once got lost in IKEA for two hours."

18points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Lolol, i got Lost in the Colombo Shopping Center in Lisboa, any its a f*****g circle.

6points

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#43

“So here’s how this will go:

We’ll exchange punny pick up lines
I’ll make small talk, you will mention the puppy
Pretty sure it’ll get flirty
Eventually, you’ll send me your number

Risking it all, I ask you out and you say yes
I wasn’t expecting to get this far
Good chance we’ll get drunk at a party or bar
Hey wanna choose what happens next?
Then go and read the first letter of each line.”

17points

CaptainJoe 2 years ago

I thought it said "wipe right" for a second there

11points

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#44

“I’m here because I’m too lazy to find my soulmate and my mom said that I’m getting old.”

16points

#45

"Warning: I have a terrible sense of direction, so chances are you’ll be lost forever if you come with me."

16points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Yup, i can relate to that, i got Lost in a 2 storie building once, and again in a circular building ( shopping center )

3points

#46

"I’m not really into dating, but my mother said I have to at least try it once before she dies."

16points

DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago

Too late for me there. (Was that too dark? Sorry).

11points

#47

“My perfect date? I pick you up at 8 for half-priced apps at the Bees. We get there to find out half-price doesn’t start until 9. You offer to wait but I say it’s fine. We get our food. I say you look pretty. ‘What?’ I say I’m kinda chilly. You agree. I offer to go to the movies but you are tired/have to do laundry. I take you home and awkwardly hug you in your driveway. I go home and Tweet about finding true love. I get two favorites and a reply calling me crazy. The perfect date.”

15points

Lauren S 2 years ago

He lost me at the Bees. The rest is actually adorable fumbling social skills.

5points

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#48

"Notable Life Achievements:
- Can cook amazing instant noodles
- Semi-professional bathroom singer
- Has never been in jail before (except when playing Monopoly)"

15points

#49

“Carolina V 2.0 Tinder Edition updates:
– minor bug fixes
– improved selection algorithm
– new pictures (bikini pic added)
– performance enhancements: summer tan
– multilingual support.”

14points

#50

“I’m not the type of girl you have to hold in farts for but rather the type of girl you want to hold in farts for.”

14points

#51

“Looking for a guy who will pick me over beer.”

14points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Oh man, i joke about my apearance, and my defects, but not even i would say that, thats not funny, that just sad.

10points

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#52

“73% gentleman. 27% rogue.”

14points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

At least it adds up to a 100, good enough for me.

6points

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#53

“I’ll be Burger King and you’ll be McDonald’s, I’ll have it my way and you’ll be loving it.”

14points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Yea, that would be a left swipe for me, way to cocky and not really that funny.

10points

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#54

“I can’t wait to disappoint you intimately.”

14points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

If you expect bad, you won't be disappointed.

4points

#55

"I have a credit score of 800 and can fold a fitted sheet, next question."

14points

Natalie H 2 years ago

Who folds fitted sheets? Just fold the top sheet neatly, then wad the f*ing annoying-to-fold fitted sheet up and stuff it inside the folded sheet, and Voila! It looks folded. Things are never as they seem…😈

6points

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#56

“I’m just going to answer the question for you: yes, they are real.”

13points

SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago

Yes, they are real!!! *Holds up genuine Pokemon Cards* What kind of monster would use fake these??? XP

6points

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#57

“I’m a highly motivated, controlling, narcissistic jerk with bad grammar… Good luck.”

13points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago (edited)

Lol this could be my profile, bu7t he forgot the megamaniacal.

2points

#58

“Kinda girl you would take home to your mom but would blow you on the way there.”

12points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Keep going, you just got my undevided atention.

5points

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#59

“I’d like to cover you in peanut butter and see how much I could lick off before my peanut butter allergy killed me.”

12points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago (edited)

And if i die, it will be a happy death.

3points

#60

“Things you need to know about me. First off, if we go out, you’re paying. Not just for me but for my wife if she shows up. And she’s a drinker. If I’m interested, I’ll place my underpants on the table. Fold them in three and place them in your handbag. Return them washed and we will consummate passionately. I dislike women who aren’t shallow. A plus if you wear my mom’s perfume and fit perfectly in the void she left. I’m 6 feat & 4 inches. Those are 2 measurements.”

12points

Lauren S 2 years ago

Those are two measurements! Ha!

0points

#61

“Gym selfies. So many gym selfies. Shirtless gym selfies, cut-off tee gym selfies, pull-my-shirt-up gym selfies, mid-workout gym selfies. Just gym selfies.”

12points

GVL 2 years ago

Too many gym selfies.

4points

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#62

“This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.”

12points

Lauren S 2 years ago

Every word is true. How did he know? Wizard!!

2points

#63

"Warning: I may cause inappropriate thoughts and feelings of attraction in women and men alike. Proceed with caution."

12points

samuel the (???) 1 year ago

my human, i cannot even see you while looking at this page- ☠

0points

#64

"If we match, we’re getting married, right?"

12points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

No pressure here

3points

#65

“If you can eat more McDonald’s cheeseburgers than me then I’ll please you."

11points

Alexigirl1 1 year ago

And vice versa ;)

0points

#66

“I just want some 80’s movie romance. That’s it. I swear I’m not that hard to please. Just be John Cusack outside my window with a boombox.”

11points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

No, i'v done similar s**t to an old ex, and She never apreciated.

2points

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#67

“I’ll make you dessert; if you don’t like it, there is always me.”

11points

samuel the (???) 1 year ago

aaah i see what youve done there

1point

#68

“I work for the government so you know I’ll screw you hard.”

11points

#69

“You could be my future ex-wife.”

11points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

That's from 1995 ( Jurassic Park, Ian Malcolm, line in the car when he's talking to the blond botanist, i forgot her name )

5points

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#70

“Everyone deserves a chance, so do I.”

11points

#71

”I’m 26. I live with my grandparents but that will hopefully change soon.”

11points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

Either it is very dark or once again I overdosed on the internets

8points

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#72

“Let’s have a who’s better in bed contest. I’m hoping to be a sore loser.”

10points

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#73

“I’m counting on your standards being lower than mine.
A simple synopsis of myself:
– Daddy issues
– Rapidly declining self-esteem
– Overly possessive and jealous
– Drama queen
– Gold-digger.”

10points

FlatEarf 2 years ago

Let's look at the positives -Won't have to worry about parents -Low standards -Protective -You never have to make a fuss over anything she will -Your financially stable

3points

#74

“There’s red wine girls and white wine girls. Say hi to the whiskey girl.”

10points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

How about gin and tonic?

2points

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#75

“Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence. Because if she doesn’t have that, she’s mine.”

10points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Dude just reminded me of my coworker lol.

0points

#76

“Honestly, I’m just here looking for my parents. They disappeared one night a few years ago and I heard I might be able to find them here. Please contact me if you have any pertinent information.”

10points

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#77

“I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.”

10points

#78

“Likes: climbing trees, bananas, grooming, finding bugs. Hit me up if you wanna ‘hang’ out. I don’t monkey around.”

10points

Lauren S 2 years ago

The perfect chimp for you!

1point

#79

“500 characters isn’t really enough to demonstrate my wit and intelligence so just look at my banging cleavage for now.”

9points

CaptainJoe 2 years ago

EXCUSE ME?

0points

#80

“Carefully written, fact-checked essay in the streets, unmoderated comments section in the sheets.”

9points

#81

“Your parents will love me but your neighbors won’t.”

9points

samuel the (???) 1 year ago

are you a professional upstairs neighbor?

0points

#82

“I’m all of like two feet tall. Hope you like sarcasm and being insulted. If you’re wondering why I’m so funny, it’s because I used to be fat.”

9points

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#83

“I’m the puppy. You can also find me on Sniffr (it’s like Tinder but for dogs).”

9points

#84

“Sooo you’re looking for ‘the one’ huh? You’ll find him… but you’ll be so horny when you do that you’ll get with him on the first date, he will lose interest, the sweet texts will stop and you’ll be all alone with your pizza rolls swiping left and right again while he dates someone who’s challenging enough to keep his interest for longer than a weekend.”

9points

Lauren S 2 years ago

So am I supposed to get all my horny out with you then? I mean, you’d be willing to do me that favor? How gracious of you!

1point

#85

"Girls love dogs and I'm allergic, so there's really no hope for me."

9points

GVL 2 years ago

Awww.

3points

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#86

"How do you like your eggs in the morning? I like mine with someone special."

9points

Sans Serif 2 years ago

Actually, kinda cute...

7points

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#87

“Our relationship should be like a Nintendo 64–classic, fun to spend hours with and every issue easily fixed by blowing on it then shoving it back in.”

8points

#88

“Recently broke up with my girlfriend because she didn’t like how I take my coffee. I like my coffee the same way I like my women. Without other people’s organs in it.”

8points

Sans Serif 2 years ago

Words fail me...

8points

#89

“Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.”

8points

DancingPanda 2 years ago

Oh- I need this

3points

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#90

“I’m actually looking for the one girl who dislikes to laugh and hates good music. Bonus points if you dislike the outdoors. If I ever find myself face to face with a Tinder then I’m likely in trouble so drop the camera and GET HELP! I’m 6’1 so please be taller than me in heels.”

8points

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“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

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#91

“You got to marry someone you know you’d still be down to get with in the laundry room real quick while the kids are downstairs watching The Lion King and ten minutes left till the dinosaur nuggets are ready to come out of the oven.”

8points

Sans Serif 2 years ago

Ex #2...

0points

#92

“Leave a message after the beep.”

8points

Lauren S 2 years ago

Showing our age are we?

0points

#93

“I don’t make mistakes, I just date them.”

8points

samuel the (???) 1 year ago

i don't know if that is an insult to other people or not...

0points

#94

"My last three relationships didn’t end well because of my passion for politics and the fact that I’m always right about everything."

8points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

People who think they know everything really annoy those of us that do.

7points

#95

“Reasons to swipe right and wife me…

1. Provide pleasure whenever requested
2. I love cleaning
3. I can cook meals fit for your dietary needs
4. Don’t ask questions unless ‘Are you hungry?’ or, ‘Can I sit on it?’
5. When you’re out with mates, I won’t call or text unless it’s dirty selfies or dinner requests
6. I’ll wake you up by lovemaking
7. My no. 1 priority is your happiness and well-being
8. Only speak when spoken to
Swipe right.”

7points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Yea lol for that i would buy a silicone doll, its cheaper on the long Run, and the behavior is preety much the same, ( swipe left )

7points

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

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#96

“Taller than you in heels. Love positive people, quirks, good wine, Italian food, tense movies, live music, decadence. Open to most things but let’s start with a casual date.”

7points

Lauren S 2 years ago

This one’s not meant to be funny. This person is genuinely describing themselves. Hope he finds a match.

3points

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#97

“Looking for someone to grow old with… one night older.”

7points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

Tinder. Making you feel a year older, one swipe at a time.

4points

#98

“If you’re waiting for an opportune moment to talk to me… now is it.”

7points

#99

"I’m like pizza: even when I’m bad, I’m still pretty good."

7points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Na, i had eaten pizza that was not just bad, it was actually s**t.

0points

#100

"I’m not looking for anything serious. But if you want to have a baby with me, I’m totally down for that."

7points

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

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#101

“I have no emotional attachment to intercourse.”

6points

#102

“If you like protein shakes and getting caught at the gym, if you’re not into CrossFit, if you have half a brain, if you like making gains at midnight, while curling in the squat rack, I’m the love that you’ve looked for, message me and be swole m8.”

6points

samuel the (???) 1 year ago

i got 1/4 of a brain and i do the WHOLE opposite of exercise

0points

#103

“I can’t afford a toy, so here we are.”

6points

SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago

So I buy you Legos/Hot Wheels and you get off Tinder...?

0points

#104

“If our conversations don’t bang, neither will our bodies.”

6points

#105

“You look like my next mistake.”

6points

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#106

“I’ve got fake breasts and a fake personality. But who cares because let’s be honest, you’re gonna swipe right cos I’m fit.”

5points

#107

“You can use me to get to my mom.”

5points

#108

“I’ll have your friends hating me while I control every aspect of your life. What are you waiting for?”

5points

#109

“2nd year psychology student, so I’ll get in your head before giving you head. Love partying and outdoorsy stuff. Gymnast, so I’m flexible (draw your own conclusions).”

5points

Lauren S 2 years ago

So straight up offers head then plays coy with draw your conclusions?

2points

#110

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for a relationship. I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have is a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long 'career'. Skills that make me a dream for people like you. If you swipe left now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you swipe right, I will match with you, I will flirt with you and I will sleep with you.”

5points

Lauren S 2 years ago

Taken me right off my feet

1point

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#111

“I’ve learned that men have two emotions: hungry and horny… If I see you without firmness, I’ll make you a sandwich.”

5points

#112

“Hi, I’m here for a boring time. I’m looking for a long-term relationship, probably involving a lot of hard work and hardly any intercourse. I’m emotional, stubborn and always right. I like to pick the movies and if you don’t let me, I’ll tell everyone you beat me.”

5points

Lauren S 2 years ago

Well that escalated a bit at the end…

1point

#113

“Medium-small pee-pee. Extra-large personality.”

5points

Heather Menard 2 years ago

This will not get any swipes. Size does matter

1point

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#114

“I have an AMD graphics card, so you can say I’m used to things getting hot quickly. I’ll definitely get you to POST.”

5points

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#115

“One like you have never had before.”

5points

#116

“I’m [Your Name] and I cuddle at a level that should require a paid subscription.”

5points

#117

“I am a little freaky at times… but no one has stepped up to the plate to explore that side of me.”

5points

#118

“I hope your day is as nice as my booty.”

5points

#119

“You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll climax.”

5points

#120

"I’m a vegan, but I’ll make an exception for you…"

5points

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#121

"I’m allergic to commitment so don’t get too attached."

5points

#122

“I’m grown but not grown, grown. Which means I know how to ride a man but I’m still not sure how taxes work.”

4points

#123

“If you want a bimbo, give me $2; if you want a queen, you’ve come to the wrong place.”

4points

#124

“Just your typical docile, subservient oriental girl wanting to help quell a white boy’s yellow fever.”

4points

#125

“It’s Tinder, let’s be real, you just want my breasts.”

4points

SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)

Not necessarily. It's hard not to be freaked out when you just get the breasts without the owner attached.

5points

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#126

“My nickname is Gillette because I’m the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you.”

4points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Yea you just Gave me, a " ill scratsh your car and make a Scandal at your workplace " vibe.... No thanks

3points

#127

“I keep 300 heifers satisfied every day, looking to make that 301.”

4points

#128

“I’ll treat you like a Disney princess on the streets and a naughty princess between the sheets.”

4points

samuel the (???) 1 year ago

are you some sort of hipster?

0points

#129

“Don’t know why Tinder thinks I’m 18. I’m actually 30.”

4points

#130

“Seeking someone who looks good on the arm to take to social events!”

4points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Im out then ....

1point

#131

"I once got so drunk, that I woke up on a boat wearing only my underwear and a pair of handcuffs."

4points

Sans Serif 2 years ago

Who hasn't??

4points

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#132

"People say I look like Shia LaBeouf, but without the talent or money."

4points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Hopefully widout the violento tendêncies as well lol.

2points

#133

“If you’re good, I’ll send nudes.”

3points

#134

"Swipe right for a hero!”

3points

SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago

Suddenly, We Don't Need Another Hero by Tina Turner comes to mind (Yes, I'm that old XP)

3points

#135

“If you say nothing that means it’s a yes.”

0points

Francine Govan 2 years ago

No

7points

#136

“Two things I don’t screw with: rattlesnakes and condoms.”

-4points

Francine Govan 2 years ago

buh-bye

5points

#137

“Let’s recreate The Human Centipede and sew your mouth to my opening.
PS. all I eat is mozzarella sticks, Doritos and weenie.”

-5points

samuel the (???) 1 year ago

???

0points

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Viltė Domkutė

Viltė is a SEO List curator here at Bored Panda. She graduated in Applied Photography, so is no stranger to visual and artistic content. Despite her professional path, she also loves watching TV series, even could binge watch them all day long. Viltė also owns a pet crab at home, named Pūkis - Fluffy (spoiler alert: he's not fluffy at all).

Viltė is a SEO List curator here at Bored Panda. She graduated in Applied Photography, so is no stranger to visual and artistic content. Despite her professional path, she also loves watching TV series, even could binge watch them all day long. Viltė also owns a pet crab at home, named Pūkis - Fluffy (spoiler alert: he's not fluffy at all).

Melanie Gervasoni

Writer on a quest to explore every corner of the world, one country at a time. Fueled by my love for Arcane, oversized hoodies, and weightlifting, I try my best to bring even more fun energy to Bored Panda. My cup of tea? Pop culture, funny content, sharing interesting facts about the world, and creating listicles for fellow Pandas. When I’m not crafting articles, my eyes are still glued to a screen — be it binge-watching my favorite shows, leveling up in video games, or learning Spanish with Duolingo. Always on the hunt for the ultimate playlist, I scour Deezer to find the right tunes to listen to while working on my creative projects.

Writer on a quest to explore every corner of the world, one country at a time. Fueled by my love for Arcane, oversized hoodies, and weightlifting, I try my best to bring even more fun energy to Bored Panda. My cup of tea? Pop culture, funny content, sharing interesting facts about the world, and creating listicles for fellow Pandas. When I’m not crafting articles, my eyes are still glued to a screen — be it binge-watching my favorite shows, leveling up in video games, or learning Spanish with Duolingo. Always on the hunt for the ultimate playlist, I scour Deezer to find the right tunes to listen to while working on my creative projects.

What do you think ?

ShutUpAboutYourDiet 2 years ago

Sheesh, it's like the red flag olympics in here

1point

Pyewacket 2 years ago

Im a real hunk, and the guy im stuck to is alright i suppose. #hunchbacklove

1point

Scarlett 2 years ago

My Tinder profile is currently: Here to disappoint someone else other then my parents.

0points

ShutUpAboutYourDiet 2 years ago

Sheesh, it's like the red flag olympics in here

1point

Pyewacket 2 years ago

Im a real hunk, and the guy im stuck to is alright i suppose. #hunchbacklove

1point

Scarlett 2 years ago

My Tinder profile is currently: Here to disappoint someone else other then my parents.

0points

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