Many of us will remember her raw talent – however, the star’s personal strength will also never be forgotten! Tina endured years of abuse from her first partner, Ike Turner, before finally finding her true happiness in Erwin Bach, with whom she shared a whopping 38-year-long romance.

The late music legend found true happiness in Erwin Bach after suffering years of abuse from her first partner, Ike Turner

She always praised the music exec for helping her discover real contentment

Now, unfortunately, abuse spares no one; from your high school sweetheart to one of the most famous musical marriages in history – it can happen to anyone. So, to gain a deeper understanding of the issue’s significance and perhaps offer assistance to those who might be struggling, Bored Panda decided to reach out to a professional. Victoria Jeffries, a BACP accredited psychotherapist and counselor with a Master of Science degree in Therapeutic Counseling, works with both individuals and couples. She is based in North London but works with people all over the UK via Zoom, specializing in helping people overcome the effects of emotionally abusive relationships.

First things first, we wondered what the signs of abuse in a relationship are, to which Victoria answered: “Abuse within a romantic relationship can take many forms; there are the more obvious signs of physical violence (such as punching and slapping) which often leave a bruise, but also emotional abuse which tends to leave a psychological scar. Some general signs of an abusive relationship would be feeling controlled by your partner – for example, they may dictate how you should spend your money or control who you socialise with. Feeling scared or having a sense as though you are walking on eggshells while in their company is another major sign. Criticism and undermining are other signs of abuse – for example, continuously putting you down and chipping away at your confidence, leaving you with very low self-esteem. When on the receiving end of an abusive relationship, it is common to feel afraid of your partner. It is often the case that the abuser has taken complete control of their partner’s life – for example, their finances and social life.”

After 27 years of blossoming romance, the couple eventually tied the knot in Switzerland in 2013

BP then wondered how to get out of it, and why some people don’t: “It is important to remember that it is very possible to leave an abusive relationship. The first step to getting out may be confiding in a trusted friend as to what is happening, who may give you the support and strength you need. Another important step would be to speak to a specialist domestic violence organisation (such as Women’s Aid) who can help you come up with a plan to safely leave the abuser. I would also recommend getting professional emotional support to help you rebuild your self-esteem and enable you to move forward with your new life.”

“The person at the receiving end of the abuse can start to feel so worn down they may feel as though they don’t have the energy to leave, and they may question their own right to a happy and fulfilling life after being made to feel as though their wants and needs don’t matter for so long. It is also very common to question yourself while in an abusive relationship – for example, by thinking ‘Is this really wrong? Maybe I do deserve this?’ Furthermore, an abuser tends to isolate their partner from friends and family, meaning that when the time comes that they finally feel they want to take the plunge and leave the relationship, they don’t have anyone to turn to for help and support. This can be an incredibly daunting prospect. The fact that abusers tend to take control of their partner’s life financially is another major reason as to why they may feel as though they cannot leave the relationship; they may feel that realistically, their options are very limited and it may be too difficult to start a new life alone.”

Turner made her last album in 1999 and gave her final performance in 2009

“While it is understandable that you will be cautious entering a new relationship (and this is by no means a bad thing), it is important to learn how to trust again and understand that not all future partners will treat you like you were previously treated. It may be useful to ask yourself what you want from a new relationship and check in with yourself regularly and ask yourself whether your needs are being met. For example, ask yourself ‘Am I being respected in this relationship? Does this person build me up? Am I feeling supported and cared for?’ And more importantly, ‘Are there similarities between this relationship and the past abusive one?’ It is important to let yourself be loved, and remind yourself that, despite what your previous partner may have told you, you deserve and are worthy of love. Be aware that it may initially feel uncomfortable to finally be loved and respected; this is totally normal after leaving an abusive relationship as it is something that you are not used to,” Victoria said when we pondered how to enjoy a healthy relationship after experiencing abuse.

Last but certainly not least, the expert added: “Tina Turner is a wonderful example of how it is possible to leave an abusive relationship and go on to not only have a fulfilling life, but a healthy, happy, loving relationship. Tina didn’t let the fact she had been in an abusive relationship colour the rest of her life; she bravely built herself up again (whilst no doubt at her lowest ebb) and eventually took a risk and opened herself up to love again. Tina showed that you cannot only survive after abuse, but you can thrive and live the life you deserve.”

No matter how cliché it might sound – no one deserves to be abused. Check up on your family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and distressed passersby; sometimes just reaching out and telling someone that you’re there for them can do a lot.

Now go blast a couple of Tina’s songs and celebrate her amazing talent!

Fellow online users have penned heartfelt tributes to the music icon and expressed their love toward Erwin Bach