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Women's fight for equal rights has achieved great success, but it's still far from over. Globally, women still have only 3/4 of the rights that men have. And while some countries are focusing on implementing new reforms, others seem to be set on reducing women's bodily autonomy. One thing is clear: being born a woman puts you at a disadvantage.
While some women experience it less than others, it's still a devastating reality. And clueless or ignorant men don't help. One Reddit user wanted to learn what women wish men would stop doing, and people were eager to share advice on how men can be better.
Almost 5k replies later, Bored Panda selected the best answers on men's behavior that bothers women the most. From enormous egos to bad communication, scroll down to upvote the answers that resonate with you the most, and feel free to share any advice that we missed!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Making choices about women’s rights and women’s bodies when they have no f*****g clue what we as women go through and experience.
RELATED:
#2
If a woman tells you she's a lesbian when you're flirting, it means one of two things:
- 1: She is a lesbian.
- 2: She is pretending to be a lesbian so you'll stop flirting with her.
Either way, you should stop flirting.
Hobistapioka 1 year ago
And 3. NO she's NOT interested in your dinky winky. Or the phrase "you haven't found the right man yet, you haven't got a good D yet etc". They don't want your dinky at all.
#3
Please stop sending d**k pics to random women online. It's just straight up creepy and gross. If a woman wants to see your d**k, she'll ask for a picture.
#5
When you need to get past me, please don't put your hands on my waist/hips/lower back to move me aside. I don't know you. Stop touching me.
Pauly Donahue 1 year ago
WTF. Return the favor by by placing your knee on their groin to move them back where they belong.
#6
Please stop treating us like appliances. We aren’t your cheap labor, your free therapist, your perfect breeding animal, your expert chef and your twenty four seven child care. We are not replaceable or inferior or substitute for a punching bag.
We are people. And you can stop excusing your behavior as traditional or biological or anatomical. You do know better.
#9
One reason many women liked wearing masks was that they could mind their own business for once in public without getting scanned for their facial expressions.
#10
Stop putting more effort into shouting " Not all men" then you do in making sure your friends aren't being creeps.
#11
A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn't touch a man that way to get past them, don't touch a woman that way.
Sexual Harassment Panda 1 year ago
If I HAVE to touch someone, its a gentle touch on the shoulder.
#12
Dismissing our safety concerns and trying to gaslight us out of taking basic precautions.
#13
Leaving pee on the toilet seat or floor and not wiping it up
#14
Following women when they’re walking. I’ve been followed by cars, followed by men yelling at me, had dead silent men follow me to work and then stand outside, follow my friends to a bar we’re walking to, etc. It isn’t all men, sure. But most women have been followed. I don’t know why they do it, to feel powerful I guess? To instill fear that they know where I work or what bus I take?
Edit: every dude in my replies arguing about how they sometimes are behind a woman and what are they supposed to do, just know that if you’re not being creepy it isn’t an issue. That’s not what I’m talking about. In this context followed vs walked behind are 2 VERY different things. If you’re simply walking behind a woman who appears freaked out it’s probably because she has been antagonistically followed or verbally or even physically harassed/threatened/harmed. As long as you aren’t being creepy, you’re good.
If you’re worried that you appear like you’re following her, my advice would be to call someone and chat (like a couple people recommended in my replies), this makes it so it’s obvious she isn’t a target of yours or even on your mind, you’re busy going about your life. OR either slow down or speed up and pass her. Don’t match her pace so that she sees you keeping stride in the corner of her eye, that’s so scary. And lastly, have some sympathy. Women don’t act afraid with the intention of insulting you, they act afraid out of protection of themselves.
SkyBlueandBlack 1 year ago
THIS. Like, don't stand outside my store for an hour while I close, follow me a block to the bus stop, get on and sit two seats behind me, then when the bus goes up Cahuenga and it's dark and deserted for a couple miles, suddenly sit right behind me, lean forward, and whisper, "so, you got a boyfriend?"
#15
Please. God.
Some men don't wash their a**es when they shower. Because it feels "gay"
Stop worrying so much about being a macho manly man. Being secure in your manhood is way hotter.
Go wash your a*s.
#16
Not calling out other "bros" for misogynistic behavior.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Outright misogyny is often done amongst other men who are fine with it unfortunately.
#17
Thinking their wives are live-in maids. It’s not your wife’s responsibility to replace your crusty socks, underwear, or make you a doctor’s appointment unless you’re actually ill or otherwise impaired.
Like, does my partner have to deal with my menstrual cup? N o. Never.
Alecto76 1 year ago (edited)
My lovely husband has no household skills. Cleaning was obviously a foreign concept when I moved in. But if I'm cleaning, he tries to find something to clean too. He tries. He seems like a typical guys guy. I'm always surprised at how he's willing to learn and improve. Edit: please excuse my bragging, I waited until 46 to marry. It took time to find him.
#18
I wish men would stop needing to be told to do something around the house. They have eyes, most of them can clearly see that the trash is overflowing or that they left their dishes out. Pick up after yourself. Learn how to feed yourself and dress yourself. Stop waiting on your SO to be your mommy. Being a man is not an excuse for you to not be able to take care of yourself like a grown up.
Escapist Panda 1 year ago
Don't just divide the labor, share the mental burden/managerial aspect as well!
#19
Playing the "what about men" game when someone is talking about a women's specific issue. If you care about a men's issue that's amazing! I love it, I'm here for it. Don't hijack a conversation about women to talk about it. Start a different thread, cause, conversation, etc.
#20
catcalling. what's the purpose? i don't want to have sex with you just because you screamed "nice tits" at me from your car
Sky Render 1 year ago
"If you like breasts that much, you should grow yourself a pair" seems a good response to that one.
#21
Sexualising teenage girls
Sky Render 1 year ago
Sexualizing ANY person below age of consent is pretty gross, but the fact that it happens so disproportionately to girls is disgusting beyond measure...
#22
blaming women because they don't want to sleep with you
ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy? Why would any woman want to be around someone who thinks like that?
#23
If a women says she doesn’t want children, don’t respond by saying she doesn’t know better. Idk where you guys get off of telling a grown woman that she doesn’t know what she wants, but it needs to stop. If she dosent want children, respect her decision.
#24
Engaging in toxic masculinity. Fellas, you're beautiful people worthy of support, kindness, and love. It's healthy to have emotions. ALL emotions. To feel scared, sad, insecure, etc. Support one another. This goes for all genders. Life is hard. Let's be excellent to one another.
#26
Unsolicited advice. Don't tell me to smile, I'm not here for your amusement. Don't tell me I'd look nicer if I let my hair down, it's up for a reason. Don't approach me with some comment about my appearance, I promise I'll make you feel 2 cm tall when I'm done with you. I don't want your comments about me, I'm perfectly happy with myself.
#27
Weaponized incompetence.
D. Pitbull 1 year ago
I think of this more like abusive incompetence. "oh... but... I dunno if you still wanted to use that toilet roll... so.. uhh... I didn't change it. Yeah... I just carry my own toilet paper with me to the bathroom? Is that wrong?" - guess what... I know you're not actually that stupid - and you're just being a selfish petty jackhole...
#29
Just because a woman is not smiling, it is not your job to change that.
Rumblebear 1 year ago (edited)
this! being commanded by a stranger to smile for his pleasure ! really? how do you know i am not grieving, orr was assaulted and this is my first trip out since?! why is it a thing? out *in public* is not mens fantasyland guys!!!!!
#31
1. The disgusting s**t that’s said about women in the boys’ group chat
2. Exchanging pictures (screenshots or non consensual nudes) of women you aim to “conquer” in the group chats
3. The entire culture of “south east Asia trip with the boys where we talk about and treat chicks like walking vaginas and egg each other on to cheat on our missus”
4. Laughing at the one mate who’s a f*****g pig rather than calling them out
5. Stop getting defensive when you’re called out for speaking or behaving in a way that’s hurtful or upsetting — no one is telling you that you can’t be angry or upset, but you do need to actually learn how to express your emotions in a respectful and clear manner, especially your anger
#32
Stop believing that men are superior than women.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago
There will always be some things a man can do better than a woman and some things a woman can do better than a man. The rest of 'things' both can do equally as well. So really, it all balances out that men and women are basically equal.
#33
It’s wild to me how movies and TV shows treat a woman saying 'no' like it means, 'You haven’t put enough effort in. Keep trying.'
#34
Please do not try to flirt with us when we’re sitting in a coffee shop reading a book with headphones on. This has happened to me and other friends multiple times over the years. The headphones are to keep you away.
#35
Stop assuming my emotions are irrational or illogical. Start valuing communication, empathy, and understanding in our interactions.
#36
Continuing to do a thing a person has asked you to stop doing as a joke.
Like there's this thing that dudes often seem to think is cute and funny, where like, in a movie, the funloving man and the stick-in-the-mud lawyer lady are taking a painting class, and it's his solemn duty to teach her to *loosen up and live a little.* So he dabs a bit of paint on her nose, and she goes "OMG STAHP" and he does it again and now they're rolling around covered in paint making out while romantic music plays.
But in real life, he is drunk, has sat on her chair and broken it, and instead of apologizing is now laughing and leaping around her kitchen swinging a chair leg over his head, hooting and hollering while she powerlessly begs him to stop before he breaks any more of her belongings.
I don't think men realize how terrifying it is when you're a woman asking a man to stop something and he doesn't. Even a harmless joke. It makes you realize, holy s**t, I can not shout loud enough for him to hear how serious I am, I can not physically stop him from doing whatever he wants to do to me, he can do whatever he wants and there is nothing I could do short of causing grievous bodily harm to stop him.
Always. Every single time. If someone asks you to stop something, even if they're laughing, stop immediately, even if you just stop long enough to explain why it's important to you to keep doing it. Always stop immediately.
Alecto76 1 year ago
Ladies, the best thing I ever did was take martial arts classes. I did Krav Maga a few years. Its the hand to hand combat of the Israeli army and it is brutal. And I've done boxing for a decade and continue. In addition to skills you learn, the confidence that you can take care of yourself is immeasurable. Bleeds into every aspect of your life. Highly recommend.
#37
Thinking that being a woman is a reason for her mistakes.
I was one of the only three girls in engineering course (60 people). And if I did a mistake at class it was because I was a girl. But if my male course mate made a mistake, it is only because humans are not perfect, and next time he will do better 👍🏼
#38
Making laws that restrict me
#39
No is a complete sentence.
Sorry, I bored at work, so this was a bit short. What I meant is, if you are in a relationship with a guy, no would be a short, perhaps cold answer, but I don't think that's what OP meant.
I meant it as, if a guy bothers you for any reason, like he wants your phone number or any socials you don't want to give him, you don't need to provide a reason, because a simple no should be enough. Unfortunately, a lot of men (yes I know, not all) won't take just a no for an answer an *must* know the reason, because whatever.
So, to answer the original question: I wish some guys would just accept a simple no and would stop asking again and again and again for something that has already been answered with a no.
#41
Acting like anger isn't an emotion and saying women are more emotional than men.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 1 year ago
In my experience men are much more emotional, especially younger men. And that's fine, but don't pretend that your unreasonable drama is logical and the women that's dumbfounded by what you're doing is the one in the wrong. Emotions include anger, frustration, confusion- emotions are just being sad or crying and all the other "girly" ones they're do desperate to avoid the stigma of
#42
Touching me without consent.
Celesta 1 year ago
YES! I was a cashier at a...red and white store, and happened to get a case of hiccups. A random (of course male) customer came up behind me while I was checking some out (his wife was next in line), grabbed me from behind and screamed. His only response when his wife (justifiable) went ballistic on him was "but she's not hiccupping anymore, see). Yes, bc unknown to HIM, I had been violently SAed less than 6 months earlier, by a man who grabbed me from behind. They ended up calling emts bc I couldn't stop the panic attack.
#43
Communicating to us through our husbands/ boyfriends/ fathers etc.
I was doing 3D modelling work for a guy in Italy a few years back and when he needed something done he’d tell my husband what he wanted done and tell my husband to tell me.
It was so frustrating and belittling. My husband was working on something else for him that had nothing to do with my project. Yet every damn time he wanted something done he’d tell my husband, not me.
Ever since then I’ve refused to work on the same project my husband is working on.
Sky Render 1 year ago
This attitude is infuriating! Especially when you run into it working at a call center. So you want me to transfer you to a "male colleague" before I've even finished asking for your name because...? Oh, because you're a sexist pig. Got it, lemme get you on over to one right away.
#44
Thinking you have some kind of power over us.
Like we have to speak to you, we have to reply to you, we have to do what you say…
No, we don’t.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago
That is often a culture or religious thing. I call it downright rude.
#45
Don’t put others down to raise me up. Had an ex gf who actually did this, saying how I’m “smarter than most girls” or “really good at this for a chick” or even berating a waitress and saying “you would never dress like that for attention”. You can compliment me without putting others down! I don’t say “you’re nice for a boy” so don’t say I’m something or other for a girl!
Isaac Harvey 1 year ago
If you act like the only way to make someone feel better is by intentionally making others feel worse, you're not going to be a good partner.
#46
Your friends with vaginas are *just as fully human* as your friends with d***s. They're not pets, or Playstations, or weird robot dolls you have to feed scripts to so they'll f**k you, or drop on the side of the road if they don't.
They don't derive their social status from whichever friend of yours they're dating, and they don't exist on this earth specifically to entertain your friends' girlfriends. Sometimes they don't even *like* your friends' girlfriends. On account of they are people, not some kind of...hivemind that happily drones in the background while you and your male friends do Important Man Social Things For Men Only.
Violet Bunny 1 year ago
In other words... a woman is a person in her own right, not just "arm candy."
#47
Calling yourself an “alpha” or “sigma” male. You aren’t necessarily hurting anyone by doing it, but no one takes you seriously when you talk like that. Edit so people can stop asking: I could be wrong, but I think people who call themselves sigma consider themselves “lone wolf” types. IMO, I think they’re trying to come across as one step less douchey by not believing they exist to boss people around, but it is clearly ineffective.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago
Also the study that did the whole alpha/beta stuff with wolves was actually retracted, the guy who made it admitted that it was badly done and not accurate.
#48
acting like the Big Man of the Family, the provider, while being so needy that they can't prepare a piece of toast or pot of coffee or pick out a a pair of clean underwear for themselves.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 1 year ago
I'm so very grateful my husband is a fully functioning independent human being that is a real partner and friend - and a great daddy to our kids.
#50
Being thirsty and assuming every woman on the net is looking for some...
What do you think ?
Sky Render 1 year ago
The latest annoyance is deliberately misgendering any woman who has even the slightest bit of "masculine" appearance. I mean really? Grow the F up. We don't owe you perfect femininity at all times.
Data1001 1 year ago
This makes me sad that so many women have had to deal with so many awful dudes. As a guy, I don't see it (and the guys I know haven't displayed this sort of thing in front of me), but of course that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. This kind of stuff shouldn't still be happening so often, and I'll try to do my part to call out this sort of behavior if I do see it happening. I think perhaps the biggest reason it still goes on is because other guys enable it, or laugh it off, or just don't speak up about it.
Captain Kyra 1 year ago
You're right that it might not happen where you can see. At a Ren Faire in a mixed group the ladies didn't get any comments when we were together. However when we separated the comments poured in. What that shows to me is that they seek out the "unprotected" or "unclaimed". It also happens when the men are alone. They must recognize that the behavior is not acceptable or they wouldn't be regulated by such things.
Load More Replies...
Kandice Heiple 1 year ago
Stop turning everything into a joke about sex. Im sure your bros think its hilarious that everything they say you can turn onto a sexual innuendo or whatever but it makes me immediately want to stop talking to you
Sky Render 1 year ago
The latest annoyance is deliberately misgendering any woman who has even the slightest bit of "masculine" appearance. I mean really? Grow the F up. We don't owe you perfect femininity at all times.
Data1001 1 year ago
This makes me sad that so many women have had to deal with so many awful dudes. As a guy, I don't see it (and the guys I know haven't displayed this sort of thing in front of me), but of course that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. This kind of stuff shouldn't still be happening so often, and I'll try to do my part to call out this sort of behavior if I do see it happening. I think perhaps the biggest reason it still goes on is because other guys enable it, or laugh it off, or just don't speak up about it.
Captain Kyra 1 year ago
You're right that it might not happen where you can see. At a Ren Faire in a mixed group the ladies didn't get any comments when we were together. However when we separated the comments poured in. What that shows to me is that they seek out the "unprotected" or "unclaimed". It also happens when the men are alone. They must recognize that the behavior is not acceptable or they wouldn't be regulated by such things.
Load More Replies... Kandice Heiple 1 year ago
Stop turning everything into a joke about sex. Im sure your bros think its hilarious that everything they say you can turn onto a sexual innuendo or whatever but it makes me immediately want to stop talking to you
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