Three decades after the release of the bestseller 'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,' the debate over how and why men and women are different from each other and what that means for their roles in society is far from settled.
However, a survey by the Pew Research Center found that majorities of Americans say they are different in their physical abilities, their personal interests, their approach to parenting, and the way they express their feelings.
Reddit user u/Diligent-Log6805 decided to explore the relationship between these two sexes from a male perspective and made a post on the platform, asking: "Guys, what do women do that give you the ick?" Immediately, the answers started pouring in.
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Denigrating and emasculating men who show emotions. It's honestly one of the most f****d up things anyone can do to another person.
Also, using a man's kids as pawns in disputes, like cutting off visitation because you're mad at him. Don't f*****g do that, it's just cruel to the kids.
The last point is sadly very common - SIL is a family lawyer and this is a trick that is used in the guise of 'doing the best for my children' when the majority of the time it's patently the opposite.
We got in touch with u/Diligent-Log6805 and the Redditor agreed to have a chat with us about his post.
"Just before I asked that question, [I was talking to someone] about a relative who's had a series of failed relationships and we were wondering whether she or her boyfriends were the problem. So I went to Reddit to ask," he told Bored Panda.
And the discussion took off. It now has 18.8K upvotes and 13.5K comments.
Refer to themselves as a boss b***h, queen, princess, or baddie.
It's the female equivalent of a dude calling themselves an "Alpha Male". Instant red flag.
Hilariously fake eyelashes
When asked about any topics that stood out to him in the thread, u/Diligent-Log6805 said, "There seemed to be a pattern where guys feel like women give nonverbal cues and expect men to correctly interpret those cues instead of clearly saying what's on their minds."
"This leads to a lot of miscommunication."
The f*****g testing.
I appreciate that you have been in previous relationships where someone lied and/or cheated on you but don't spend your entire single life trying to catch me in some lie so you can have your self fulfilling prophecy that all men are liars.
Duckface. It’s 2023. Duckface was cringe 15 years ago but some women are STILL doing it.
"Personally, I think communication is key to harmonious relationships between men and women, especially when there's a disagreement," u/Diligent-Log6805 added. "Basically, try to at least talk and let each other know how you feel about something."
"Lastly a little empathy and patience goes a long way in fostering harmonious interactions between men and women."
When they think a toxic trait of theirs is cute/quirky. There's a big difference between being blunt in a respectful way and being a b***h.
In Scotland. Obvious fake tan and over done makeup. You're in f*****g Glasgow not madrid
This girl said 'sowwie' to me trying to be cute, and I instantly lost interest in her.
Oh I thought it was calling a pig - that's funny. Speaking like a toddler not funny
Loudly empathizing with every cause and group on the planet but treating people in their personal lives like trash.
To get around these barriers and allow men and women foster harmonious relationships, u/Diligent-Log6805, who is a husband and a father himself, believes that communication is key. Especially when there's a disagreement.
"Basically, try to at least talk and let each other know how you feel about something. [Also,] a little empathy and patience go a long way," he added.
If they act entitled, no one wants to be drained like that
These entitled people most often turn out to be narcissists. And you better keep them as far away from you as possible
silent treatment, I've hated it for the longest time, when you do something wrong and you try to apologize and they say nothing is even worse, just hurtful.
Guy, "So, what did I say/do wrong to upset you?" Either *silence* or "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you"
That's true. While all relationships are different and each one has its own unique ups and downs, being able to talk to your partner means that you'll be able to share your worries, show support for one another, and work together to handle conflict more effectively.
According to Dr. John Gottman, a clinical psychologist and founder of the Gottman Institute, a couple's communication pattern can even predict how successful a relationship will be.
This can also translate to our overall well-being. For example, one study found that when people feel that their partner values them, they are more likely to sleep better.
Be super clingy, not have a life outside of the relationship, and baby talk when trying to be cute.
Yikes, do they want to date you or be adopted by you? BTW, how old are we talking here, guys? Be sure you find that out, and confirm it, first, OK?
Saying dumb s**t like “ as a MAN why are you taking care of yourself?” Or “ as a MAN your house shouldn’t be so clean”. Like sorry for not being a tramp.
Seriously sexist, actually. Why should every man conform to your screwed-up notions of masculinity? How about trying a compliment, sometimes: "Wow, the place looks great!" "Hey, you're looking good today." You know, simple stuff just exactly like the stuff you like.
One time an ex screamed at her 2 year old nephew. Instantly unattractive
Sure both men and women do vile things,but this is about what guys dislike in women,not everyone
Over-the-top solipsism. That whole "I don't perceive it that way, therefore you perceiving it that way cannot be valid" mindset.
This is usually due to a lack of empathy and failure to appreciate someone else's viewpoint, nothing to do with women specifically
Call themselves fat in front of ppl who are fatter
I think most of the time this is just caused by body dysmorphia, which needs psychiatric attention, but it could also just be someone being an a*****e. Both need addressing but for different reasons.
I saw a cute girl on a treadmill at the gym sneeze 4 times and not attempt to cover her mouth once. Absolutely disgusted me
That's something that should be taught by parents at a very young age
Lie/do something hurtful, then play victim so you end up comforting them for what they did even tho you wanna cry Lol
Confusing confidence with being inconsiderate.
Probably if a woman constantly texts me what I’m doing every 30 mins. Can’t stand when they say “wyd”. That’s some high school s**t right there
texting abbreviations are fine... control freak behavior is definitely not
Wow. Just wait until you encounter your first micromanager in the office. It's going to blow your mind.
Honestly, I don't send it often, but if it's a friend, I might send a message similar once a week or something if I don't really have anything else I can think of. If I'm dating the person and we haven't messaged/talked all day, I might message, asking what they are up to. It's mostly my way of checking in, but I don't really have anything specific to talk about.
However, it's definitely not something I do a bunch. Line I said, it's usually if we haven't talked all day, and I'm mostly just checking in. It'd annoy me as well, if the person was doing that every thirty minutes though.
Load More Replies... I think not taking accountability is the biggest one.
You’ve messed up/were rude/incorrect/whatever, but just doubling down and never apologising or admitting fault is so unattractive. Just own it and apologise like a grown up.
“I’m sorry but…” etc.
One for when you're in a relationship:
When you're with friends and they become distinctly less pleasant to you than when you're alone, like making fun of you and making jokes at your expense which they normally would not make. Have had it in more than one relationship.
Like... what is that about?
I can't speak for all women (mainly because I'm a man) but I had an ex that did this. Truth is that she was very insecure and overcompensated for that in social settings. I have broad shoulders so could tolerate it to a point, but would tell her if she crossed a line. It's not why we broke up.
Wipe makeup off using a bath towel
That unsettling brown stain... uggggggh
Casual hate, just chill why are you so upset about everything
This one is weird. My husband sometimes wonders why I'm so stressed because he has a live in the moment attitude. Unfortunately, that means that (even though I am not a natural planner or organiser) I am the one to remember birthdays, what size clothes the kids wear, where every single thing in the house is, what needs fixing, etc. It is endless. This mental load is a problem that many women have. "Just chill, why are you so upset about everything?" is probably not a helpful thing to say. Try: "You seem very stressed at the moment. Is there anything I can help with?" and really listen to the response. If she says: "Oh, it doesn't matter, I just have a lot to do", say: "Tell me three things right now that I can do for you."
always talk about themselves and never ask you anything at all so the entire thing just revolves around her, not even like how was your day or are you ok, just always about them and the attention
Lie about how they feel
THIS! Nobody is telepathic and certainly can’t tell what you’re feeling, especially if you lie about it. Communication is the key to success in personal relationships- don’t undermine it
Cleaning my wife’s hair out of the drains grosses me out to the point where I gag. Idk why. I had no problem with other gross things. I can even clean up my dogs vomit with little to no gagging.
Funny how the people hating on the post are the same who enjoy posts that list all things wrong with men.... Yes women can be awful too, they are not all Queens and heroins. (From a woman)
Or heroines. Heroin is a drug and it's no lady.
Load More Replies...articles about men's issues or mens issues in general and a woman trying completely invalidate them because women have it worse nobody says they don't but issues that one person has doesnt cancel out others issues
Your argument is that men don't invalidate women online? Not saying it's right either way but...really?
Load More Replies...Nobody mentioned the "dropping hints instead of just saying what you want and then getting mad when her partner doesn´t get it?"
I really don't like women who aren't my wife. If you're not my wife, total turn off.
How about cute animal pics? I want to see all the animals
Load More Replies...Also : a date telling me that my ex ''won'' because we tried our best to get separated in a decent way, without hurting each other and protecting the children as more as possible, taking the best decisions possible in their interest,when we realised that we were not in love, and that it was better to take our own roads before creating stupid conflicts, and trying to build a healthy father/mother of two relation. Sorry, but I feel no one ''wins'' a séparation, especially when children are involved in the middle of that
EDIT ADD women who don't fully read titles... LOL ( did not notice it was a men's poll. makes more sense) Only part I really agree with is the baby talk. the rest seem to be a problem with both genders. As a woman, I do have to say that when a woman acts "helpless" it irritates the fluck out of me. Being ignorant is not cute, admit you don't know how to do xyz and learn like an adult.
Funny how there wasn't such a controversy, when the male version of this article, came out...yesterday/day before. :D
Load More Replies...Why? It’s not for you. It’s something for someone to enjoy on themselves.
Load More Replies...I feel like a lot of these generally applied to everyone but a few I definitely I agreed with that were directed at women. Like the whole baby talk thing is actually just weird.
I have a female friend who has quite the number of red flags in my opinion and I always say if I were a guy, I would run as fast as I can from her. Even in friendships she does the following: is never wrong, never apologizes, demands to be treated like a princess (waited on hand and foot), demands for everyone to buy/give her stuff, gets angry if you dare point it out when she is wrong, gets angry with you for being upset with her for something she has done wrong, blames everyone, is not empathetic, is self centered: if it's not about her then STFU etc. The list is honestly not exhaustive, but she is. Most days I think of just ending our friendship, it usually doesn't feel like it's worth it to hold on to her as a friend.
As it says in the opening paragraphs, it was men who were asked and these are their answers. That's the whole thrust of the article. If women had been asked it would be their perspective. Doesn't mean that it can't be issues that both would be irritated by. Just that in this instance, it's men. Let's be honest, when men make these comments on women-focused pieces they get roundly told off for it.
Load More Replies...Yes, but men do often say on BP that they don't get their say so why not let them? There are different issues that affect men/women/trans and so forth and it's okay for each of those who wish to be whoever they are to say what they have issues with. Let all have their voice.
Load More Replies...To be fair it's an article where only men were asked what gives them the ick. That doesn't mean there aren't things that are issues by both and for both, just this piece explores the male perspective. That isn't ipso facto sexist especially as we often, in fact more commonly, get the women's perspective on BP (which I'm not criticising, just pointing out). As a woman I don't have an issue with the article, especially as it says going in what it is about and so we can choose to read it or not.
Load More Replies...Funny how the people hating on the post are the same who enjoy posts that list all things wrong with men.... Yes women can be awful too, they are not all Queens and heroins. (From a woman)
Or heroines. Heroin is a drug and it's no lady.
Load More Replies...articles about men's issues or mens issues in general and a woman trying completely invalidate them because women have it worse nobody says they don't but issues that one person has doesnt cancel out others issues
Your argument is that men don't invalidate women online? Not saying it's right either way but...really?
Load More Replies...Nobody mentioned the "dropping hints instead of just saying what you want and then getting mad when her partner doesn´t get it?"
I really don't like women who aren't my wife. If you're not my wife, total turn off.
How about cute animal pics? I want to see all the animals
Load More Replies...Also : a date telling me that my ex ''won'' because we tried our best to get separated in a decent way, without hurting each other and protecting the children as more as possible, taking the best decisions possible in their interest,when we realised that we were not in love, and that it was better to take our own roads before creating stupid conflicts, and trying to build a healthy father/mother of two relation. Sorry, but I feel no one ''wins'' a séparation, especially when children are involved in the middle of that
EDIT ADD women who don't fully read titles... LOL ( did not notice it was a men's poll. makes more sense) Only part I really agree with is the baby talk. the rest seem to be a problem with both genders. As a woman, I do have to say that when a woman acts "helpless" it irritates the fluck out of me. Being ignorant is not cute, admit you don't know how to do xyz and learn like an adult.
Funny how there wasn't such a controversy, when the male version of this article, came out...yesterday/day before. :D
Load More Replies...Why? It’s not for you. It’s something for someone to enjoy on themselves.
Load More Replies...I feel like a lot of these generally applied to everyone but a few I definitely I agreed with that were directed at women. Like the whole baby talk thing is actually just weird.
I have a female friend who has quite the number of red flags in my opinion and I always say if I were a guy, I would run as fast as I can from her. Even in friendships she does the following: is never wrong, never apologizes, demands to be treated like a princess (waited on hand and foot), demands for everyone to buy/give her stuff, gets angry if you dare point it out when she is wrong, gets angry with you for being upset with her for something she has done wrong, blames everyone, is not empathetic, is self centered: if it's not about her then STFU etc. The list is honestly not exhaustive, but she is. Most days I think of just ending our friendship, it usually doesn't feel like it's worth it to hold on to her as a friend.
As it says in the opening paragraphs, it was men who were asked and these are their answers. That's the whole thrust of the article. If women had been asked it would be their perspective. Doesn't mean that it can't be issues that both would be irritated by. Just that in this instance, it's men. Let's be honest, when men make these comments on women-focused pieces they get roundly told off for it.
Load More Replies...Yes, but men do often say on BP that they don't get their say so why not let them? There are different issues that affect men/women/trans and so forth and it's okay for each of those who wish to be whoever they are to say what they have issues with. Let all have their voice.
Load More Replies...To be fair it's an article where only men were asked what gives them the ick. That doesn't mean there aren't things that are issues by both and for both, just this piece explores the male perspective. That isn't ipso facto sexist especially as we often, in fact more commonly, get the women's perspective on BP (which I'm not criticising, just pointing out). As a woman I don't have an issue with the article, especially as it says going in what it is about and so we can choose to read it or not.
Load More Replies...