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Attraction can often be based on the most subtle of things. The way someone behaves. Their tone. Their attitude. How they carry themselves. The way they interact with other people and the world around them.
In some cases, one mistake is enough to snuff out any affection that might’ve been flowering there. Reddit user u/NumerousBeach1420 turned to the r/AskMen community to hear everyone’s thoughts about all the things that women do that make them lose interest. Scroll down to read their opinions. Meanwhile, feel free to share your thoughts on them in the comments, Pandas.
We got in touch with the author of the viral thread, and they shared their perspective on relationship red and green flags to look out for. Scroll down for Bored Panda's full interview with u/NumerousBeach1420.

#1

“If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Incessant social media posting about our "amazing" dates.

Me: "I thought we could have a nice evening just the two of us."

Her: "Absolutely, but first, let me post this on my story!"

Me: "Okay, but maybe we can put the phone away after?"

Her: "I need to update my followers on the night. They're like, waiting for it."

It's like I'm an accessory to her online persona rather than a partner. I want to be in a relationship, not a reality show.

CleoTurquoise2 , Plann Report

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    #2

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman I recently had a girl tell me she was pregnant and then say “it was a prank to see how you’d react”. Needless to say I lost interest.

    thinklucas135 , cottonbro studio Report

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    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'Pranks' and games in a relationship are toxic. Always best to end it when someone pulls that s**t. People need to talk about it too, don't let the future generations think it's healthy. Just like 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' or 'they won't respect you if you call the next day' they need to die out.

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    #3

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Rude to waiters is a total mood killer for me. If I see that it has to be a bad day or something or I'm out.

    MartinLambert1 , Jessie McCall Report

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    Susan W.
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even having a bad day is no excuse to make someone else have a bad day. Kindness costs nothing.

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    Some behaviors are subjectively unattractive—we all have our pet peeves. Others, on the other hand, are objectively more likely to push potential partners away. Business Insider reports that among the factors that make you appear less attractive are sleep deprivation, being mean, having contracted body language, and being stressed.

    Other things that make someone objectively less attractive include looking stressed, looking too happy or proud (i.e. you may not want to be too ‘smiley’), not having a sense of humor, being lazy, being dishonest, and not being humble enough. People generally also don’t find heavy smoking and drinking attractive. Nor do they enjoy it when someone disagrees with their thoughts on politics.

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    #4

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Demand princess treatment but don’t reciprocate anything. Can’t treat you like a queen if you won’t let me be your king.

    Edit: for those who can’t see past the metaphor. lol. Entitlement is the turn off. Someone acting entitled to your affection or time or money while offering up little to nothing in return.

    help1500 , RDNE Stock project Report

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    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When did people start this whole king and queen trend? Most self titled "queens" are trashy entitled women who don't want to work and just want to be spoiled but have nothing to offer. And the "kings" are deadbeats who think they're all that

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    #5

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Any cruelty towards someone for no reason is an instant turn off.

    L8Confession , Liza Summer Report

    #6

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Never wanting to do anything.

    Me: Would you like to.....? Her: No, that sounds boring

    Me: how about....? Her: Nah, I don't want to do that.

    Me: Ok, what would you like to do? Her: IDK, whatever you want to do.

    Beauvoir_R , Keira Burton Report

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    On the flip side, BBC Future points out that it’s far from just our physical attractiveness that matters when it comes to romance and first impressions. In fact, someone’s agreeableness, extraversion, and intelligence are ranked higher than looks. Furthermore, a person’s material success ranks among the least important attractive qualities.

    Someone who ranks high in agreeableness in the Big Five psychometric tests is generally more caring and compassionate. A person who’s agreeable and also physically attractive is more likely to be the target of someone’s desire for a serious relationship. It makes sense. It’s difficult to envision starting a long-term relationship with someone who is unkind.

    #7

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Duck lips.

    Serrated_Bayonet1916 , Sam Lion Report

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    John Harrison
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For those wondering, google "duck lips," click on "images" and ignore the pictures of actual ducks.

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    #8

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman 1.Any of these …
    “ a real man would ”
    “ if he wanted too , he would”
    “ princess treatment “
    “ I don’t need a man”
    “I’m the prize”
    “My man had to pay for everything “

    If they think I’m paying for everything and they don’t at least offer or help out

    3. If they think a relationship is a sponsorship than a partnership.

    TheLegionmma , Jacek Dylag Report

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    Lew k
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I stopped with the kept princess bs 20 years ago. Huge red flag for me. It's nice to be with someone hard working and at least somewhat ambitious. My wife and me leapfrogged each other on earning for the first 10 years of marriage. I'm doing a bit better now but she's no slouch. On top of that she's not scared to get out and help in the yard. Actually it's usually me helping her. Guys completely right. Marry a partner not an ornament.

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    #9

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman S**t talking other women. A little playful banter is ok but when their whole personality is just s**t bagging others... Neeeext.

    Rip9150 , cottonbro studio Report

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    V
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't get me wrong, when I meet up with the ladies from my mother's group we do spend a bit of time bagging beige Pinterest mums, but after that we talk about other stuff.

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    How similar a person is to us is incredibly important for romance. In short, the basic principle of attraction is looking for potential partners who have some things in common with us, from personality traits and appearance to social groups and geography. When there are complementary traits in play, you make a stronger team that can weather whatever storm life throws at you.

    However, it’s not all as simple as that. Some differences in personalities and backgrounds can spark some excitement in the relationship. So, there’s a need for both familiarity and novelty in relationships. Too many similarities can lead to boredom. Too many differences can lead to arguments.

    #10

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Spend too much time on their phone when they are out on a date or social engagement with other people.

    Piper6728 , Teddy Yang Report

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    Shark Lady
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So rude. Why bother going out to see friends or a date if you ignore them in favour of your phone.

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    #11

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman I'm big on accountability, whether male friends, female friends or dates.


    Constantly blaming others / society / etc has become a huge turn off to me.


    On the flipside, I was chatting with a girl who mentioned she got in a wreck because "she's a bad driver who wasn't paying attention" and this immediately made me want to ask her out.

    djhazmatt503 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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    Helena
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not big on that either, but are you good at discerning blaming others/society/etc or explaining how others/society etc has impacted their lives and/or decisions. One is blaming, the other is explaining. I know I've been accused of 'making excuses' when I'm just trying to explain the backstory.

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    #12

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Assume they understand my intentions or motivations because they "know how men think" or otherwise claim to be exceedingly perceptive or intuitive.

    Even if that's true, by believing and acting on those things it takes away my agency as an individual to express my thoughts and feelings on a given matter, and that really grinds my gears I must say.

    fatbunny23 , Thomas Benedetti Report

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    Manana Man
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's more common for this to be the other way around, women who expect a man to know what they want without being told.

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    Redditor u/NumerousBeach1420 opened up to Bored Panda that it was simple curiosity that drove them to start up the online discussion on r/AskMen.

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    "Most of the answers were about being rude or having a bad personality. It’s nice to know that there are still guys out there who care more about a girl’s personality than her physical appearance,” the author of the thread told us.

    We asked the author for their personal opinion on what relationship red flags are best to be avoided.

    From their perspective, your alarm bells should be ringing if the person you're dating is unfaithful, rude, or irresponsible.

    #13

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman My ex would talk about other guys in front of me. “I’m just saying, his arms are really hot!” I’ve seen other women do this to guys to try and see how insecure he is or isn’t. I can’t have any respect for someone who plays games like that.

    GingerMarquis , Eduardo Simões Neto Junior Report

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    Shark Lady
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you are old enough to be in an adult relationship, then you are too old for playing games and testing your partner.

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    #14

    Treat those that they perceive as "lower" in status with disdain, disrespect, poor manners, while buttering up those with "higher" social status. We are all in this together, we all have our good and bad days. Be kind.

    keylime84 Report

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    Mia C
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This behavior here is uncalled for, period! There is no such thing as a lower status. It takes nothing away from a human to be kind

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    They said that a huge red flag is that the person is "someone who doesn't have dreams and plans in life."

    However, we were also curious about their thoughts on green flags to look for in romantic partners. They told Bored Panda that among the qualities they value the most in a partner are honesty, loyalty, and being a provider.

    For them, a truly great partner is someone who has high emotional intelligence and is a responsible individual.

    Meanwhile, the author shared some advice with anyone who struggles to keep other people's interest on dates.

    "Just be yourself. Work on yourself. Keep the good things about you and change the bad ones," u/NumerousBeach1420 said.

    #16

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Getting their relationship expectations from social media.

    omnipresent29 , mikoto.raw Photographer Report

    #17

    When they bend over backwards to interpret anything and everything you say in a negative light. I'm not here to mess with you. And I'm certainly not interested in fighting every time I try to talk to you.

    polkemans Report

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    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those girls are not over a former relationship which was very contentious. They need to heal before dating again.

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    #18

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman She kept insisting she was "weird".

    "Oh, I don't really like popular music I must be really weird, ahah"

    "Oh, I don't like girly things I guess I'm just weird like that, haha"

    Get stuffed.

    BadVixen13 , Austin Barber Report

    What behaviors and qualities do you find to be the most unattractive in a potential partner, dear Pandas? What do people do on dates that really irks you and gets under your skin? On the flip side, what do you find the most attractive in a partner?

    If you have a moment, we’d love to hear your thoughts on all of this. Grab your digital quill, scroll down to the bottom of this list, and feel free to pen a comment or two.

    #19

    Play mind games and talk about past relationships, I get it Becky that your last boyfriend cheated on you, but I'm not him, please stop talking about him.

    johnnystorm223 Report

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    G A
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I got compared to her Iranian ex-husband who left her, I got righteously f****d off at her.

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    #20

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Gas lighting to think youre only wrong in every conversation.

    phat_ass666 , Vera Arsic Report

    #21

    Endless complaining.

    The_Latverian Report

    #22

    Religious. Especially if it involves referencing Bible/Torah/Quran quotes.

    can-opener-in-a-can Report

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    Lew k
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one I'm on board with. If you're not religious don't date religious people. It will only lead to problems later. I'm sure there are exceptions but generally true.

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    #23

    I think if their existence makes other people uncomfortable and they may not be aware or don't care if they bother others. It comes off like they own the place and can do whatever they want even if it bothers others. Like being loud, rude, and demanding to draw attention from everybody and not respecting other people.

    Frequent_Lychee1228 Report

    #24

    Ghost me until they want something, then become my best buddy. :-/.

    KawasakiBinja Report

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    Zoe's Mom
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a lady friend do this. The last time was for 5 months and when she finally reached out, I asked her not to contact me again.

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    #25

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Bad communicator, bad personality, hot and cold personality and mood, someone that lacks affection and is a bit cold physically, people that date someone based on their astrological sign, someone that is judgmental, someone that does not initiate texts or phone calls (I don't want to be the one doing all the work in the relationship, that is only one sided and not fair).

    Also someone that never offers to pay her half of the bill, or never pays at all when we go out. Again, I am not a walking ATM or a weak doormat, I refuse to be used as I know my self worth.

    Century22nd , Alex Green Report

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    Courtney Olander
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A slight exception...my partner works unusual hours, so I initiate texts, but I can't always be sure when it's okay to call, so he initiates calls?

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    #26

    If they like crystals , if they scream and talk loud for no reason , if they think it’s cute to act dumb or immature , if they litter , if they talk s**t about any of their close friends that they hangout with and plenty more things.

    jerrycoles1 Report

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    #27

    Always vent about every tiny little thing (and that’s fine) but as soon as you are going through something rough they respond with a one-liner cliché sentence or somehow start venting back making it their issue.

    People wonder why I struggle immensely to open up, well, here you go.

    Beavecio Report

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    ʁɨɂɥɒ
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. Sometimes people don't want lecture but just someone who listen and just be there, i don't want preachings,i am wise enough but just want this out, even cup overflows and drinks fall out

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    #28

    Lying about small things - because it means they'll also lie about big things, inevitably.

    AncilliaryAnteater Report

    #29

    Having a unidirectional personality.

    Dated a “gym girl”. All she did was talk about her gym.

    HoldZealousideal1966 Report

    #30

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman When you're talking to them and they reply, "OMG that's so funny" while they're occupied with their phones, not laughing or even smiling.

    ghostmetalblack , Pixabay Report

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    #31

    Too concerned about their social media presence. Also not being punctual but I think that more a personal preference cuz it’s disrespectful to not keep your word when you say you’re gonna do something.

    evanbrews Report

    #32

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Flirt and give their attention to other men, and when caught try to pretend like it was harmless and we’re overreacting which will sometimes cause us to really ponder on if we’re really overreacting or not.

    Unlikely-Rip-6197 , cottonbro studio Report

    #33

    Get jealous over little things.

    Show up at my house uninvited.

    Get mad when I don’t text back right away.

    Expect me to yell at them, otherwise I don’t care about them.

    GTOdriver04 Report

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    Pixie
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Major red flag ! You are not her puppy or her daddy 🤷‍♀️

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    #34

    Was on a date with a gorgeous redhead. Found out real quick she didn’t need a bf, she needed a therapist. She literally made me think of eyore from Winnie the Pooh, all she needed was her own personal rain cloud. She was pitying herself the whole damn time.

    DazzlingAd8284 Report

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    #35

    Entitlement, boss babe personality, lack of appreciation, bad listening, no empathy, lack of reciprocation, playing hard to get.

    Cactus2711 Report

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    Donna Peluda
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been talking to a girl I liked for a couple of weeks, I know she has fallen out with her family all about her worked and friend, She hasn't bothered to ask or even listen when I tell her things about me. She's smart and independent, that's what I liked about her originally but she's so full of herself

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    #36

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Dating more than one dude at a time. Choose the other guy I don't have time for that c**p.

    ElderWeeb , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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    Zoe's Mom
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I honestly don't think this is an issue as long as she is honest. If not, then carry on.

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    #37

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Talk about all their past lovers.

    quadzillaa25 , RDNE Stock project Report

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    Iva Kazalova
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have never done that to a guy but guys used to do it to me a lot and it made my blood boil, it’s so disrespectful

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    #38

    “If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman Take zero initiative.

    IronDBZ , Caleb George Report

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    Mobey Drunk
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes that can mean they're really shy. It can take some time to come out of their shell.

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    #39

    Express contempt, hatred or distaste for men in general

    You know it's only a matter of time before they turn that on you

    Stuff like that is often how abusive people vet potential partners, to find the ones who will put up with it

    After a while, you're just over it, and don't want to hear that s**t anymore.

    ColdCamel7 Report

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    Thom Serveaux
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a very common trauma response, but if you want to be with a man you need to deal with it. There are good guys out there!

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    #42

    When she talks to me about other guys she’s into especially if she’s trying to make me jeleous it makes me feel like you’re not interested in me instant turn off for me like why even talk to me in the first place.

    FanAccomplished7407 Report

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    Savahax
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is likely the push and pull game but you can never know. Steer clear

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    #43

    Never being physically intimate and treating sex just as a chore.

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    #44

    Cancelling date plans with a terrible excuse and asking to reschedule. Why'd you agree to a date you were never intending on actually going on?

    CuatroBoy Report

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    Blah blah blah
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because sometimes men are scary about rejection, but thinking of an excuse later on to get out of it seems milder and isn't a face-to-face confrontation

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    #45

    Being clingy and needy all the time and testing you by asking your thoughts on other women.

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    Pixie
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is insecure, doesn't know where she stands with you yet. 🤷‍♀️

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    #46

    Being rude to the other women as they leave my house.

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    Savahax
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What are these women doing in my house then??!?! Kidding. No idea about this one really 😅

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    #47

    Agree to go on a date and just be boring or not intrested in conversation. Like why did you say yes in the first place.

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    #48

    Not having goals or a sense of direction in life can be a turn-off for those who value ambition and drive.

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    #49

    Short texts, infrequent texts. Okay okay I get it, I’ll f**k off then. I’m not going to carry the relationship and you’re clearly not head over heels.

    OhFuuuuuuuuuuuudge Report

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    Lew k
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meh, some dating is casual. It's a bit clingy to expect head over heels from the jump. Also I don't like or have time to always sit around and have drawn out text conversations. If you want a conversation call.

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    #50

    I was on a date with a girl, we were having lunch., At one point she was talking to me, her mouth was moving but her eyes were tracking another guy who was walking across the room.

    (a) What a rude thing to do

    (b) She didn't even notice that I noticed...how obtuse.

    (c) no more date for you.

    TheDevilsAdvokaat Report

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    Helena
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could be she set off her safety sensor. Could be she is trying to place if she's knows him. Just ask, the assumption is stupid.

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