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“If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman
Interview
Attraction can often be based on the most subtle of things. The way someone behaves. Their tone. Their attitude. How they carry themselves. The way they interact with other people and the world around them.
In some cases, one mistake is enough to snuff out any affection that might’ve been flowering there. Reddit user u/NumerousBeach1420 turned to the r/AskMen community to hear everyone’s thoughts about all the things that women do that make them lose interest. Scroll down to read their opinions. Meanwhile, feel free to share your thoughts on them in the comments, Pandas.
We got in touch with the author of the viral thread, and they shared their perspective on relationship red and green flags to look out for. Scroll down for Bored Panda's full interview with u/NumerousBeach1420.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Incessant social media posting about our "amazing" dates.
Me: "I thought we could have a nice evening just the two of us."
Her: "Absolutely, but first, let me post this on my story!"
Me: "Okay, but maybe we can put the phone away after?"
Her: "I need to update my followers on the night. They're like, waiting for it."
It's like I'm an accessory to her online persona rather than a partner. I want to be in a relationship, not a reality show.
#2
I recently had a girl tell me she was pregnant and then say “it was a prank to see how you’d react”. Needless to say I lost interest.
Huddo's sister 3 months ago
'Pranks' and games in a relationship are toxic. Always best to end it when someone pulls that s**t. People need to talk about it too, don't let the future generations think it's healthy. Just like 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' or 'they won't respect you if you call the next day' they need to die out.
#3
Rude to waiters is a total mood killer for me. If I see that it has to be a bad day or something or I'm out.
Some behaviors are subjectively unattractive—we all have our pet peeves. Others, on the other hand, are objectively more likely to push potential partners away. Business Insider reports that among the factors that make you appear less attractive are sleep deprivation, being mean, having contracted body language, and being stressed.
Other things that make someone objectively less attractive include looking stressed, looking too happy or proud (i.e. you may not want to be too ‘smiley’), not having a sense of humor, being lazy, being dishonest, and not being humble enough. People generally also don’t find heavy smoking and drinking attractive. Nor do they enjoy it when someone disagrees with their thoughts on politics.
#4
Demand princess treatment but don’t reciprocate anything. Can’t treat you like a queen if you won’t let me be your king.
Edit: for those who can’t see past the metaphor. lol. Entitlement is the turn off. Someone acting entitled to your affection or time or money while offering up little to nothing in return.
Bobert Robertson 3 months ago
When did people start this whole king and queen trend? Most self titled "queens" are trashy entitled women who don't want to work and just want to be spoiled but have nothing to offer. And the "kings" are deadbeats who think they're all that
#5
Any cruelty towards someone for no reason is an instant turn off.
#6
Never wanting to do anything.
Me: Would you like to.....? Her: No, that sounds boring
Me: how about....? Her: Nah, I don't want to do that.
Me: Ok, what would you like to do? Her: IDK, whatever you want to do.
Mobey Drunk 3 months ago
Sounds great to me. I'm a big introvert and prefer a quiet night at home.
On the flip side, BBC Future points out that it’s far from just our physical attractiveness that matters when it comes to romance and first impressions. In fact, someone’s agreeableness, extraversion, and intelligence are ranked higher than looks. Furthermore, a person’s material success ranks among the least important attractive qualities.
Someone who ranks high in agreeableness in the Big Five psychometric tests is generally more caring and compassionate. A person who’s agreeable and also physically attractive is more likely to be the target of someone’s desire for a serious relationship. It makes sense. It’s difficult to envision starting a long-term relationship with someone who is unkind.
#7
Duck lips.
John Harrison 3 months ago
For those wondering, google "duck lips," click on "images" and ignore the pictures of actual ducks.
#8
1.Any of these …
“ a real man would ”
“ if he wanted too , he would”
“ princess treatment “
“ I don’t need a man”
“I’m the prize”
“My man had to pay for everything “
If they think I’m paying for everything and they don’t at least offer or help out
3. If they think a relationship is a sponsorship than a partnership.
Lew k 3 months ago
I stopped with the kept princess bs 20 years ago. Huge red flag for me. It's nice to be with someone hard working and at least somewhat ambitious. My wife and me leapfrogged each other on earning for the first 10 years of marriage. I'm doing a bit better now but she's no slouch. On top of that she's not scared to get out and help in the yard. Actually it's usually me helping her. Guys completely right. Marry a partner not an ornament.
#9
S**t talking other women. A little playful banter is ok but when their whole personality is just s**t bagging others... Neeeext.
How similar a person is to us is incredibly important for romance. In short, the basic principle of attraction is looking for potential partners who have some things in common with us, from personality traits and appearance to social groups and geography. When there are complementary traits in play, you make a stronger team that can weather whatever storm life throws at you.
However, it’s not all as simple as that. Some differences in personalities and backgrounds can spark some excitement in the relationship. So, there’s a need for both familiarity and novelty in relationships. Too many similarities can lead to boredom. Too many differences can lead to arguments.
#10
Spend too much time on their phone when they are out on a date or social engagement with other people.
Shark Lady 3 months ago
So rude. Why bother going out to see friends or a date if you ignore them in favour of your phone.
#11
I'm big on accountability, whether male friends, female friends or dates.
Constantly blaming others / society / etc has become a huge turn off to me.
On the flipside, I was chatting with a girl who mentioned she got in a wreck because "she's a bad driver who wasn't paying attention" and this immediately made me want to ask her out.
Helena 3 months ago
Not big on that either, but are you good at discerning blaming others/society/etc or explaining how others/society etc has impacted their lives and/or decisions. One is blaming, the other is explaining. I know I've been accused of 'making excuses' when I'm just trying to explain the backstory.
#12
Assume they understand my intentions or motivations because they "know how men think" or otherwise claim to be exceedingly perceptive or intuitive.
Even if that's true, by believing and acting on those things it takes away my agency as an individual to express my thoughts and feelings on a given matter, and that really grinds my gears I must say.
Manana Man 3 months ago
I think it's more common for this to be the other way around, women who expect a man to know what they want without being told.
Redditor u/NumerousBeach1420 opened up to Bored Panda that it was simple curiosity that drove them to start up the online discussion on r/AskMen.
"Most of the answers were about being rude or having a bad personality. It’s nice to know that there are still guys out there who care more about a girl’s personality than her physical appearance,” the author of the thread told us.
We asked the author for their personal opinion on what relationship red flags are best to be avoided.
From their perspective, your alarm bells should be ringing if the person you're dating is unfaithful, rude, or irresponsible.
#13
My ex would talk about other guys in front of me. “I’m just saying, his arms are really hot!” I’ve seen other women do this to guys to try and see how insecure he is or isn’t. I can’t have any respect for someone who plays games like that.
Shark Lady 3 months ago
If you are old enough to be in an adult relationship, then you are too old for playing games and testing your partner.
#14
Treat those that they perceive as "lower" in status with disdain, disrespect, poor manners, while buttering up those with "higher" social status. We are all in this together, we all have our good and bad days. Be kind.
They said that a huge red flag is that the person is "someone who doesn't have dreams and plans in life."
However, we were also curious about their thoughts on green flags to look for in romantic partners. They told Bored Panda that among the qualities they value the most in a partner are honesty, loyalty, and being a provider.
For them, a truly great partner is someone who has high emotional intelligence and is a responsible individual.
Meanwhile, the author shared some advice with anyone who struggles to keep other people's interest on dates.
"Just be yourself. Work on yourself. Keep the good things about you and change the bad ones," u/NumerousBeach1420 said.
#16
Getting their relationship expectations from social media.
#17
When they bend over backwards to interpret anything and everything you say in a negative light. I'm not here to mess with you. And I'm certainly not interested in fighting every time I try to talk to you.
3 months ago
Those girls are not over a former relationship which was very contentious. They need to heal before dating again.
#18
She kept insisting she was "weird".
"Oh, I don't really like popular music I must be really weird, ahah"
"Oh, I don't like girly things I guess I'm just weird like that, haha"
Get stuffed.
What behaviors and qualities do you find to be the most unattractive in a potential partner, dear Pandas? What do people do on dates that really irks you and gets under your skin? On the flip side, what do you find the most attractive in a partner?
If you have a moment, we’d love to hear your thoughts on all of this. Grab your digital quill, scroll down to the bottom of this list, and feel free to pen a comment or two.
#19
Play mind games and talk about past relationships, I get it Becky that your last boyfriend cheated on you, but I'm not him, please stop talking about him.
#20
Gas lighting to think youre only wrong in every conversation.
#22
Religious. Especially if it involves referencing Bible/Torah/Quran quotes.
#23
I think if their existence makes other people uncomfortable and they may not be aware or don't care if they bother others. It comes off like they own the place and can do whatever they want even if it bothers others. Like being loud, rude, and demanding to draw attention from everybody and not respecting other people.
#24
Ghost me until they want something, then become my best buddy. :-/.
#25
Bad communicator, bad personality, hot and cold personality and mood, someone that lacks affection and is a bit cold physically, people that date someone based on their astrological sign, someone that is judgmental, someone that does not initiate texts or phone calls (I don't want to be the one doing all the work in the relationship, that is only one sided and not fair).
Also someone that never offers to pay her half of the bill, or never pays at all when we go out. Again, I am not a walking ATM or a weak doormat, I refuse to be used as I know my self worth.
Courtney Olander 3 months ago
A slight exception...my partner works unusual hours, so I initiate texts, but I can't always be sure when it's okay to call, so he initiates calls?
#26
If they like crystals , if they scream and talk loud for no reason , if they think it’s cute to act dumb or immature , if they litter , if they talk s**t about any of their close friends that they hangout with and plenty more things.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 3 months ago
But crystals are fascinating! Got to love a bit of geology.
#27
Always vent about every tiny little thing (and that’s fine) but as soon as you are going through something rough they respond with a one-liner cliché sentence or somehow start venting back making it their issue.
People wonder why I struggle immensely to open up, well, here you go.
#28
Lying about small things - because it means they'll also lie about big things, inevitably.
#29
Having a unidirectional personality.
Dated a “gym girl”. All she did was talk about her gym.
#30
When you're talking to them and they reply, "OMG that's so funny" while they're occupied with their phones, not laughing or even smiling.
#31
Too concerned about their social media presence. Also not being punctual but I think that more a personal preference cuz it’s disrespectful to not keep your word when you say you’re gonna do something.
#32
Flirt and give their attention to other men, and when caught try to pretend like it was harmless and we’re overreacting which will sometimes cause us to really ponder on if we’re really overreacting or not.
#33
Get jealous over little things.
Show up at my house uninvited.
Get mad when I don’t text back right away.
Expect me to yell at them, otherwise I don’t care about them.
#34
Was on a date with a gorgeous redhead. Found out real quick she didn’t need a bf, she needed a therapist. She literally made me think of eyore from Winnie the Pooh, all she needed was her own personal rain cloud. She was pitying herself the whole damn time.
#35
Entitlement, boss babe personality, lack of appreciation, bad listening, no empathy, lack of reciprocation, playing hard to get.
Donna Peluda 3 months ago
I've been talking to a girl I liked for a couple of weeks, I know she has fallen out with her family all about her worked and friend, She hasn't bothered to ask or even listen when I tell her things about me. She's smart and independent, that's what I liked about her originally but she's so full of herself
#36
Dating more than one dude at a time. Choose the other guy I don't have time for that c**p.
Zoe's Mom 3 months ago
I honestly don't think this is an issue as long as she is honest. If not, then carry on.
Savahax 3 months ago
Agreed. But this is coming from someone who has never used any form of dating platform
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WinterLady 3 months ago
I think dating more than 1 person at a time is actually a great idea in the "getting to know you" phase, as long as you haven't gotten serious. Once you go further than a good night kiss, it is time to be exclusive.
Ace 3 months ago
I think it depends on what you mean by "dating". To me the word always implied something prior to being in a long-term, fixed or monogamous relationship, in which case, yes, I might be going out on 'dates' with lots of people, male or female. I suspect that this definition is not universal though, when I see things like "we've been dating for two years".
Paul C 3 months ago
To me, dating is different to going on dates. You can go on as many dates with as many people as you like, but when you turn the corner with one (each person has their own views on what the corner is), then you stop going on dates with others and are now dating. But as you said, I suspect others may have other views.
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Pickle (any pronouns) 3 months ago
Depends on whether or not this is an open relationship- as long as all parties are aware of what's going on and are okay with these circumstances it should be fine.
#37
Talk about all their past lovers.
Iva Kazalova 3 months ago
I have never done that to a guy but guys used to do it to me a lot and it made my blood boil, it’s so disrespectful
#38
Take zero initiative.
Mobey Drunk 3 months ago
Sometimes that can mean they're really shy. It can take some time to come out of their shell.
#39
Express contempt, hatred or distaste for men in general
You know it's only a matter of time before they turn that on you
Stuff like that is often how abusive people vet potential partners, to find the ones who will put up with it
After a while, you're just over it, and don't want to hear that s**t anymore.
Thom Serveaux 3 months ago
This is a very common trauma response, but if you want to be with a man you need to deal with it. There are good guys out there!
#40
Smoking.
#42
When she talks to me about other guys she’s into especially if she’s trying to make me jeleous it makes me feel like you’re not interested in me instant turn off for me like why even talk to me in the first place.
#43
Never being physically intimate and treating sex just as a chore.
#44
Cancelling date plans with a terrible excuse and asking to reschedule. Why'd you agree to a date you were never intending on actually going on?
Blah blah blah 3 months ago
Because sometimes men are scary about rejection, but thinking of an excuse later on to get out of it seems milder and isn't a face-to-face confrontation
#45
Being clingy and needy all the time and testing you by asking your thoughts on other women.
#47
Agree to go on a date and just be boring or not intrested in conversation. Like why did you say yes in the first place.
#48
Not having goals or a sense of direction in life can be a turn-off for those who value ambition and drive.
#49
Short texts, infrequent texts. Okay okay I get it, I’ll f**k off then. I’m not going to carry the relationship and you’re clearly not head over heels.
#50
I was on a date with a girl, we were having lunch., At one point she was talking to me, her mouth was moving but her eyes were tracking another guy who was walking across the room.
(a) What a rude thing to do
(b) She didn't even notice that I noticed...how obtuse.
(c) no more date for you.
What do you think ?
René Sauer 3 months ago
All these comments going " MeN dO iT, tOo." Yeah, maybe. But the question that started this thread was was men think about women. Just go find a thread asking women instead and there you go.
Savahax 3 months ago
I've got a whole new love for BP for showing both sides. As a man I've also went through a LOT of shít with women, including groping etc. Nice to be acknowledged
J Adams 3 months ago
With this article coming on the back of one yesterday from the opposite side we now have what women do wrong and what men do wrong, what have we learned? That both genders do exactly the same things!
Rocky 3 months ago
Righto!! It's a human species syndrome. Who friggin knew /s
Load More Replies...
Steve Hall 3 months ago
Most of these items seemed to me to be a signal that she just isn't into you that much.
DC 3 months ago (edited)
A few, I don't really understand. "Want to be treated feminine but act masculine.", for example, currently #59. What's that even meant to mean? How does one act, in this sense, masculine? Rip a tree out the ground and lay it down, because there was no free bench at the riverside? Generally, all that aren't single points, and debatable as such, but lists, seem to be not what's asked here, yet it's full thereof. And I want to remain single anyway, so, basically ... it doesn't really matter in regard to dating and mating, but ... is this article even meant to be read by me? I don't really want to be part of a couple. The only time I just got up and left was ... a blind date set up by a friend, against my objection that setting up people to become couples is kinda wrong in itself, and also, after the usual bit of introduction, she issued a ten minute long rant about cats, and how her sister's cat ruined her homework, peed in her bed (yes, always was the cat, the dog, but not her), and how her "stupid sister" kicked out a grade-A dude, vastly exceeding me, because he hated her "stupid cat". I should have asked for sister's number, but didn't think of it then.
Load More Replies...
sofacushionfort 3 months ago
I’m a middle aged white guy who voted for Hilary in 2016, and the next week at a party every woman and person under 40 gave me hate stares because I’d obviously voted for Trump. I’m a servant to my own conscience, not anyone else’s perceptions.
Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish) 3 months ago
Hmm, this is interesting. The post from yesterday, which was very similar to this but women talking about men, currently has around 50 post votes. This one's currently at around 20. Judging by these comments, I'm getting a double standard kind of vibe from all of you.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 3 months ago
For me one of the biggest things to make me lose interest in a women are smoking/d***s, having tattoos or piercings and unnecessary drama. Another thing which makes me reconsider interest is when a woman has zero ambitions, plans or hobbies. I had this recently with a ex-coworker I hanged out with a lot. It was impossible to initiate a conversation with her as the only thing she did besides work was being inside reading books all day long.
Flo 3 months ago
Playing hard to get/games in general, not "knowing" how to use a razor, being rude to animals, having no goals, constantly on the phone, just trying to live off of others etc. The more red flags you encounter, the more you ask yourself if you REALLY want to put up with those - and the answer should be no. There are enough great girls out there, don't settle if you got a bad feeling from the start.
Carl Roberts 3 months ago
Hmmm...the one about "all men bad" got a ton of upvotes, while this one is getting downvoted. Gee what a surprise.
Sergio Bicerra 3 months ago
Not as bad as some of these, but happened with many women (different movies). Imagine Thanos realizing henno longer has the infinity stones, Tony Stark saying And I... "Ok gonna go pee" or catching her browsing instagram. Damn, thats the best part of the movie!!!
Dekker451 3 months ago
To be fair, crossover media can be very boring for people aren't familiar with the source material. Even as someone who likes superheroes, I got sick of their movies when they were almost the only kind of movie being released for a while.
Load More Replies...
René Sauer 3 months ago
All these comments going " MeN dO iT, tOo." Yeah, maybe. But the question that started this thread was was men think about women. Just go find a thread asking women instead and there you go.
Savahax 3 months ago
I've got a whole new love for BP for showing both sides. As a man I've also went through a LOT of shít with women, including groping etc. Nice to be acknowledged
J Adams 3 months ago
With this article coming on the back of one yesterday from the opposite side we now have what women do wrong and what men do wrong, what have we learned? That both genders do exactly the same things!
Rocky 3 months ago
Righto!! It's a human species syndrome. Who friggin knew /s
Load More Replies... Steve Hall 3 months ago
Most of these items seemed to me to be a signal that she just isn't into you that much.
DC 3 months ago (edited)
A few, I don't really understand. "Want to be treated feminine but act masculine.", for example, currently #59. What's that even meant to mean? How does one act, in this sense, masculine? Rip a tree out the ground and lay it down, because there was no free bench at the riverside? Generally, all that aren't single points, and debatable as such, but lists, seem to be not what's asked here, yet it's full thereof. And I want to remain single anyway, so, basically ... it doesn't really matter in regard to dating and mating, but ... is this article even meant to be read by me? I don't really want to be part of a couple. The only time I just got up and left was ... a blind date set up by a friend, against my objection that setting up people to become couples is kinda wrong in itself, and also, after the usual bit of introduction, she issued a ten minute long rant about cats, and how her sister's cat ruined her homework, peed in her bed (yes, always was the cat, the dog, but not her), and how her "stupid sister" kicked out a grade-A dude, vastly exceeding me, because he hated her "stupid cat". I should have asked for sister's number, but didn't think of it then.
Load More Replies... sofacushionfort 3 months ago
I’m a middle aged white guy who voted for Hilary in 2016, and the next week at a party every woman and person under 40 gave me hate stares because I’d obviously voted for Trump. I’m a servant to my own conscience, not anyone else’s perceptions.
Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish) 3 months ago
Hmm, this is interesting. The post from yesterday, which was very similar to this but women talking about men, currently has around 50 post votes. This one's currently at around 20. Judging by these comments, I'm getting a double standard kind of vibe from all of you.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 3 months ago
For me one of the biggest things to make me lose interest in a women are smoking/d***s, having tattoos or piercings and unnecessary drama. Another thing which makes me reconsider interest is when a woman has zero ambitions, plans or hobbies. I had this recently with a ex-coworker I hanged out with a lot. It was impossible to initiate a conversation with her as the only thing she did besides work was being inside reading books all day long.
Flo 3 months ago
Playing hard to get/games in general, not "knowing" how to use a razor, being rude to animals, having no goals, constantly on the phone, just trying to live off of others etc. The more red flags you encounter, the more you ask yourself if you REALLY want to put up with those - and the answer should be no. There are enough great girls out there, don't settle if you got a bad feeling from the start.
Carl Roberts 3 months ago
Hmmm...the one about "all men bad" got a ton of upvotes, while this one is getting downvoted. Gee what a surprise.
Sergio Bicerra 3 months ago
Not as bad as some of these, but happened with many women (different movies). Imagine Thanos realizing henno longer has the infinity stones, Tony Stark saying And I... "Ok gonna go pee" or catching her browsing instagram. Damn, thats the best part of the movie!!!
Dekker451 3 months ago
To be fair, crossover media can be very boring for people aren't familiar with the source material. Even as someone who likes superheroes, I got sick of their movies when they were almost the only kind of movie being released for a while.
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