“If They Like Crystals”: 50 Things That Make Men Lose Interest In A Woman
InterviewAttraction can often be based on the most subtle of things. The way someone behaves. Their tone. Their attitude. How they carry themselves. The way they interact with other people and the world around them.
In some cases, one mistake is enough to snuff out any affection that might’ve been flowering there. Reddit user u/NumerousBeach1420 turned to the r/AskMen community to hear everyone’s thoughts about all the things that women do that make them lose interest. Scroll down to read their opinions. Meanwhile, feel free to share your thoughts on them in the comments, Pandas.
We got in touch with the author of the viral thread, and they shared their perspective on relationship red and green flags to look out for. Scroll down for Bored Panda's full interview with u/NumerousBeach1420.
This post may include affiliate links.
Incessant social media posting about our "amazing" dates.
Me: "I thought we could have a nice evening just the two of us."
Her: "Absolutely, but first, let me post this on my story!"
Me: "Okay, but maybe we can put the phone away after?"
Her: "I need to update my followers on the night. They're like, waiting for it."
It's like I'm an accessory to her online persona rather than a partner. I want to be in a relationship, not a reality show.
No one's waiting for it exept maybe some simps who hope it goes bad so they feel like they have a chance again
The more people insist on posting about their relationship online, the worse their relationship probably is.
I recently had a girl tell me she was pregnant and then say “it was a prank to see how you’d react”. Needless to say I lost interest.
'Pranks' and games in a relationship are toxic. Always best to end it when someone pulls that s**t. People need to talk about it too, don't let the future generations think it's healthy. Just like 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' or 'they won't respect you if you call the next day' they need to die out.
unless it's something like putting googly eyes everywhere for other to find.
Load More Replies...A prank is loosing a top on something to spill not HAVING A NEW LIFE ...BYE BYE FLY MY LITTLE COO COO BIRD
Rude to waiters is a total mood killer for me. If I see that it has to be a bad day or something or I'm out.
Even having a bad day is no excuse to make someone else have a bad day. Kindness costs nothing.
I've been in the customer service sector before and for a while, waiting tables. Kindness and courtesy goes an absolute long way and I make it (or at least try to) a part of my communication with them now.
Some behaviors are subjectively unattractive—we all have our pet peeves. Others, on the other hand, are objectively more likely to push potential partners away. Business Insider reports that among the factors that make you appear less attractive are sleep deprivation, being mean, having contracted body language, and being stressed.
Other things that make someone objectively less attractive include looking stressed, looking too happy or proud (i.e. you may not want to be too ‘smiley’), not having a sense of humor, being lazy, being dishonest, and not being humble enough. People generally also don’t find heavy smoking and drinking attractive. Nor do they enjoy it when someone disagrees with their thoughts on politics.
Demand princess treatment but don’t reciprocate anything. Can’t treat you like a queen if you won’t let me be your king.
Edit: for those who can’t see past the metaphor. lol. Entitlement is the turn off. Someone acting entitled to your affection or time or money while offering up little to nothing in return.
When did people start this whole king and queen trend? Most self titled "queens" are trashy entitled women who don't want to work and just want to be spoiled but have nothing to offer. And the "kings" are deadbeats who think they're all that
You're an expert at missing the point. The point is that 2 people in a relationship love each other so much they each treat the other like royalty
Load More Replies...Oddly enough mine is anyone who refers to themselves as any time of royalty. It's super cringey. That said every girld I ever dated that called themselves princess or queen was a pita. Dudes who calk themselves king are just as weird.
Cringey and tiresome. Who has the time for all those gymnastics?
Load More Replies...The French figured out how to handle this king/queen thing over two hundred years ago.
I'm guessing this means he doesn't mind being chivalrous to a women, just so long as she's being polite and also showing kindness and consideration to him. I hope. But I can also read it as he may expect the date to go further because he opened a few doors for her.
... if you demand queen treatment from a devout antimonarchist, you might get abducted, you know... Seriously, "Queen Treatment" doesn't sound like what any adult, or rather mature, person would offer or demand. You're equals, equal in worth, importance, equally obligated to each other, equally obligated to pay for meals, equal in everything short of biology. "I demand queen treatment", he-hehe-hey, news, I'm like an antiroyalist.............
Short form: I try to be a decent human being. I hope you'll do the same. I don't demand.
Load More Replies...exploiting others and giving nothin in return?....that's the definition of Queen, or any royalty
I love it how many people are not seeing past the metaphor in this comment section 😂😂
Only the smartest people can think at the level of analogy.
Load More Replies...Why not just be decent people to our partners? Like why bring royalty into it at all ? He is my rock and I am his dirt. ( Personal joke between the two of us. lol )
Any cruelty towards someone for no reason is an instant turn off.
That woman in the greyish turtleneck again. A favourite Bored Panda stock photograph.
Even for selfish reasons: if they are cruel to other people for no reason, they'll end up being cruel to *you* any day.
Never wanting to do anything.
Me: Would you like to.....? Her: No, that sounds boring
Me: how about....? Her: Nah, I don't want to do that.
Me: Ok, what would you like to do? Her: IDK, whatever you want to do.
Sounds great to me. I'm a big introvert and prefer a quiet night at home.
The problem with that is, that isn't what she meant. You are supposed to keep suggesting things until by some magic you hit on what she wants to do, or failing that, you are the one "wrong" because you couldn't think of something to do.
Load More Replies...This individual may have some unaddressed mental health issues. Sounds a LOT like depression. Not saying you dont have a point, you do. But there could be underlying issues that cause it.
I suggest reading the listed questions again.
Load More Replies...On the flip side, BBC Future points out that it’s far from just our physical attractiveness that matters when it comes to romance and first impressions. In fact, someone’s agreeableness, extraversion, and intelligence are ranked higher than looks. Furthermore, a person’s material success ranks among the least important attractive qualities.
Someone who ranks high in agreeableness in the Big Five psychometric tests is generally more caring and compassionate. A person who’s agreeable and also physically attractive is more likely to be the target of someone’s desire for a serious relationship. It makes sense. It’s difficult to envision starting a long-term relationship with someone who is unkind.
Duck lips.
Kind of. In my experience, it's not as common as it used to be, but I still see it done occasionally. Even by celebrities.
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1.Any of these …
“ a real man would ”
“ if he wanted too , he would”
“ princess treatment “
“ I don’t need a man”
“I’m the prize”
“My man had to pay for everything “
If they think I’m paying for everything and they don’t at least offer or help out
3. If they think a relationship is a sponsorship than a partnership.
I stopped with the kept princess bs 20 years ago. Huge red flag for me. It's nice to be with someone hard working and at least somewhat ambitious. My wife and me leapfrogged each other on earning for the first 10 years of marriage. I'm doing a bit better now but she's no slouch. On top of that she's not scared to get out and help in the yard. Actually it's usually me helping her. Guys completely right. Marry a partner not an ornament.
“ if he wanted too , he would” - I don't get why this one's on his list, what am I missing?
Don't get it either. Unless it's for something outlandish, I think this one stands. If someone wanted to see you/text you/etc, they would find the time for it.
Load More Replies...I don't get the 'if he wanted to, he would" in this list. I've mostly seen it to make people aware that abusive behavior isn't okay and just because he's sorry doesn't mean s**t.
Most of what I've seen using that phrase is women not communicating and expecting their partners to read their minds.
Load More Replies...So you don't want her to not need you but you also don't want her to need you.
S**t talking other women. A little playful banter is ok but when their whole personality is just s**t bagging others... Neeeext.
Women raised in a strict religious family tend to think they are superior to everyone else and are righteous and judgemental. They are constantly criticizing others behavior.
How similar a person is to us is incredibly important for romance. In short, the basic principle of attraction is looking for potential partners who have some things in common with us, from personality traits and appearance to social groups and geography. When there are complementary traits in play, you make a stronger team that can weather whatever storm life throws at you.
However, it’s not all as simple as that. Some differences in personalities and backgrounds can spark some excitement in the relationship. So, there’s a need for both familiarity and novelty in relationships. Too many similarities can lead to boredom. Too many differences can lead to arguments.
Spend too much time on their phone when they are out on a date or social engagement with other people.
So rude. Why bother going out to see friends or a date if you ignore them in favour of your phone.
Oh, my gosh. I was one of these people until recently. Husband and I went out for lunch and I purposefully left my phone in the truck. I'm trying to get detached from it. Anyway, while at lunch I saw so many people sitting at tables together, but just staring at their phones instead of talking to each other. It was so sad! I was more ashamed because I realized that's how I was for so long! And yes, I'm on my phone now, but we're in bed and he's asleep so this doesn't count. Lol
I don't go out to restaurants often except when traveling, in which case every meal is at a restaurant, and we play a game, whether it be breakfast, lunch, snack, or dinner, look around discretely at the tables where there are two or more people, how many people are attached to their phone? It's bad enough if there's two people and one person staring at the phone constantly. It's weird when they both are. They don't talk. They don't look at each other. They both just sit there on their phone like two strangers on a bus.
Load More Replies...The only justification I can think of: if there's an actual need. Even then, people either explain the situation ("In case my wife is a bit early giving birth") or they discretely excuse themselves at reasonable intervals to check their messages (such as parents checking in with a new babysitter).
It's like me taking a book along and do a bit of reading in between.
I'm big on accountability, whether male friends, female friends or dates.
Constantly blaming others / society / etc has become a huge turn off to me.
On the flipside, I was chatting with a girl who mentioned she got in a wreck because "she's a bad driver who wasn't paying attention" and this immediately made me want to ask her out.
Not big on that either, but are you good at discerning blaming others/society/etc or explaining how others/society etc has impacted their lives and/or decisions. One is blaming, the other is explaining. I know I've been accused of 'making excuses' when I'm just trying to explain the backstory.
There's a fine line between explaining and complaining, and I'm sure we've all crossed it at one time.
Load More Replies...Not a single person with a drivers permit has ever driven with full attention at all times. Whether an accident is caused or not is largely down to luck. Owning up to your mistakes is important.
Load More Replies...I'm the bad driver. When people ask me why I don't have a licenwse, I tell them that any examiner who would actually approve me needs their own license revoked, and a seeing eye dog.
...you wanted to be with some who is massively irresponsible and potentially lethal to other people?
I want to know how long that lasted. Some girls think being a bad driver and causing accidents is cute and "quirky".
Assume they understand my intentions or motivations because they "know how men think" or otherwise claim to be exceedingly perceptive or intuitive.
Even if that's true, by believing and acting on those things it takes away my agency as an individual to express my thoughts and feelings on a given matter, and that really grinds my gears I must say.
I think it's more common for this to be the other way around, women who expect a man to know what they want without being told.
This is very much a both sexes thing. My husband has a VERY bad habit of doing this and it drives me CRAZY.
Load More Replies...I don't even understand my own thoughts, much less those of anyone else's.
I'm sorry but it sounds like she called him out on some BS and now he's backtracking to make her sound like the bad guy. Women have very strong intuition that has saved us many times.
Redditor u/NumerousBeach1420 opened up to Bored Panda that it was simple curiosity that drove them to start up the online discussion on r/AskMen.
"Most of the answers were about being rude or having a bad personality. It’s nice to know that there are still guys out there who care more about a girl’s personality than her physical appearance,” the author of the thread told us.
We asked the author for their personal opinion on what relationship red flags are best to be avoided.
From their perspective, your alarm bells should be ringing if the person you're dating is unfaithful, rude, or irresponsible.
My ex would talk about other guys in front of me. “I’m just saying, his arms are really hot!” I’ve seen other women do this to guys to try and see how insecure he is or isn’t. I can’t have any respect for someone who plays games like that.
If you are old enough to be in an adult relationship, then you are too old for playing games and testing your partner.
I think something most of the people commenting "I do it too" are missing is that they are talking about themselves and their partner(s) doing something mutually. It's great if you and your partner do this, enjoy it, whatever. This person is saying they do NOT enjoy those things and don't like women who do it to them. If it's being done to "test" someone, it's immature af, among other things, and borderline (if not over) the "this isn't going to work out" line.
There's nothing wrong with finding other people be hot, too. I'd be glad he/she feels secure and comfortable to talk about it with me.
I mean some couples talk about others being physically attractive and dont care- one of my favourite YouTube couples literally react to women they find attractive occasionally (they're both lesbians for context)
Or...if you're so insecure you can't handle me saying I find someone or something about someone "hot" when I'm choosing to be with YOU- we won't be a good fit for one another. It's not playing games, it's human nature to notice attractiveness.
Hey Sweetums, I want you to take this National Inquirer compatibility test.
Of course playing games is wrong. But I don't have respect for people putting everyone in one box. I'm not playing games, I want to be relaxed in a relationship to the point that I can talk about anything. If someone see games in me being open - f**k them. It's their mind that has some weird scheme. It's their job to be secure enough to start a relationship.
That's a bad game to play, but it is also something that you should be able to deal with.
Treat those that they perceive as "lower" in status with disdain, disrespect, poor manners, while buttering up those with "higher" social status. We are all in this together, we all have our good and bad days. Be kind.
Unrestrained alcoholism.
Well that's called recovery, so yes. You don't stop being an alcoholic just because you quit drinking.
Load More Replies...They said that a huge red flag is that the person is "someone who doesn't have dreams and plans in life."
However, we were also curious about their thoughts on green flags to look for in romantic partners. They told Bored Panda that among the qualities they value the most in a partner are honesty, loyalty, and being a provider.
For them, a truly great partner is someone who has high emotional intelligence and is a responsible individual.
Meanwhile, the author shared some advice with anyone who struggles to keep other people's interest on dates.
"Just be yourself. Work on yourself. Keep the good things about you and change the bad ones," u/NumerousBeach1420 said.
Getting their relationship expectations from social media.
And here I am reading about relationship preferences on social media 😅
This is exactly how my ex broke up with me. She got a misguided view of relationships from tiktok videos (those "perfect" relationship videos) and couldn't stand the fact reality ain't like this due to us both being students and having long distance relationship.
It's like the new version of Disney ruining peoples' expectations of relationships. Or romance novels ruining peoples' expectations. Really, anything like that can ruin your expectations about relationships.
When they bend over backwards to interpret anything and everything you say in a negative light. I'm not here to mess with you. And I'm certainly not interested in fighting every time I try to talk to you.
Those girls are not over a former relationship which was very contentious. They need to heal before dating again.
People who can't communicate think that everything is an argument. People who lack accountability think that everything is an attack
"I don't like your tone of voice!" Sorry if my normal voice offends you. I'll stop talking to you. Problem solved.
It gets very tiresome someone seems to always assume other people have the worst intentions.
I have this syndrome, i try to think otherwise, but couldn't help and always think they're going to ditch me anytime in near future
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She kept insisting she was "weird".
"Oh, I don't really like popular music I must be really weird, ahah"
"Oh, I don't like girly things I guess I'm just weird like that, haha"
Get stuffed.
But I'm not like other girls who say they're not like other girls.
Load More Replies...Yeah, anyone I have ever met who called themselves weird have always had the personality of a wet cardboard box
Load More Replies...Girls say “theyre not like other girls” because society insinuates it’s a bad thing to be ‘like other girls’ or basic. The same reason why a lot of girls nowadays grow up hating pink so they dont have to be like ‘other girls.’
I was once with a girl who said " I feel like getting weird". That was her way of saying she wanted to have sex. Worked for me!
What behaviors and qualities do you find to be the most unattractive in a potential partner, dear Pandas? What do people do on dates that really irks you and gets under your skin? On the flip side, what do you find the most attractive in a partner?
If you have a moment, we’d love to hear your thoughts on all of this. Grab your digital quill, scroll down to the bottom of this list, and feel free to pen a comment or two.
Play mind games and talk about past relationships, I get it Becky that your last boyfriend cheated on you, but I'm not him, please stop talking about him.
"Please don't let me go. I've been hurt before." Basically holding a guy hostage as a love slave because she's too insecure and distrusting to be in a relationship but too selfish to heal first.
My ex would constantly ask about my past relationships and s3xua1 life but every time I talked about a time when an ex was in my life (even when I was not talking about them specifically) he would throw a tantrum, haha. Glad he’s out of my life, a total psycho.
On that note, a partner, GF, BF, whatever that has to start an argument over petty things or constantly picking a fight.
Gas lighting to think youre only wrong in every conversation.
Doesn't have to be insecure, can also just be controlling
Load More Replies...Now, now. Don't argue. You get their point.
Load More Replies...Endless complaining.
If I wanted to date my mother, I'd be doing that.
Load More Replies...had this couple in my friend group, She was rude to everybody, but in his eyes, she was an absolute angel. Unlike his ex, who we never met, but was the Devil incarnate.
Religious. Especially if it involves referencing Bible/Torah/Quran quotes.
This one I'm on board with. If you're not religious don't date religious people. It will only lead to problems later. I'm sure there are exceptions but generally true.
my mom's religious, dad's not. get along fine. maybe because my mom doesn't actually talk about it.
Load More Replies...I mean my mums sikh and my dads atheist, my mum doesn't do a lot of religious practices but it works without struggle- my dad mostly finds religion intresting so :)
I would find it odd if any person who has faith would date anyone who hasn't? I'm Muslim and would have no interest in dating anyone who wasn't because its a big part of my life.
They can be really freaky in bed. I once hooked up with an Irish woman, She was a teacher in a catholic school in rural Ireland. looked and talked very sweet. She was wearing like a summer frock, long dress. completely out of place in the rock bar. We went back to her hotel, she started talking in this weird demonic voice, your are the snake, I want you poison in my pussy, things like that, she really went crazy. After the "act" she would get on the floor and pray, begging for forgiveness, "o lord the devil tempted me and I fell bla bla " Then she was up for another one. She was on holiday for a couple of weeks, she sinned and prayed a lot.
I don't know. I like the Bible. It is fun to have a girl friend who's a bit of a Bible nerd
I think if their existence makes other people uncomfortable and they may not be aware or don't care if they bother others. It comes off like they own the place and can do whatever they want even if it bothers others. Like being loud, rude, and demanding to draw attention from everybody and not respecting other people.
Ghost me until they want something, then become my best buddy. :-/.
I had a lady friend do this. The last time was for 5 months and when she finally reached out, I asked her not to contact me again.
I have a neighbour like that. If she even says 'hi' to me, I ask her what she wants. She then proceeds to get all offended, then asks for a 'loan' which will never be repaid.
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Bad communicator, bad personality, hot and cold personality and mood, someone that lacks affection and is a bit cold physically, people that date someone based on their astrological sign, someone that is judgmental, someone that does not initiate texts or phone calls (I don't want to be the one doing all the work in the relationship, that is only one sided and not fair).
Also someone that never offers to pay her half of the bill, or never pays at all when we go out. Again, I am not a walking ATM or a weak doormat, I refuse to be used as I know my self worth.
A slight exception...my partner works unusual hours, so I initiate texts, but I can't always be sure when it's okay to call, so he initiates calls?
Why is it a problem if someone is physically a bit cold? A person can't much about their body temperature. That seems like somethinbg only a real moron would mind.
I think what OP means is touch averse. Perhaps they are into cuddling, holding hands, lots of kissing and other physical interaction. So, someone who isn’t would be a turn off because OP needs/wants the touch to feel secure in their relationship. Then again, maybe they mean that thing where someone always has cold feet in bed and insists on warming them up on your body. I had a bf like that… told him to wear socks to bed.
Load More Replies...If they like crystals , if they scream and talk loud for no reason , if they think it’s cute to act dumb or immature , if they litter , if they talk s**t about any of their close friends that they hangout with and plenty more things.
But crystals are fascinating! Got to love a bit of geology.
Exactly! Plus they are cool to look at. I recently went on a tour of a cave famous for its crystals. Enjoyed seeing them.
Load More Replies...Think its different if you have them for their beauty.
Load More Replies...Eh, it´s not bad if they like crystal as a decorative element. But if they start claiming that they have healing powers or something, then it get´s weird...
uh guys i need help i have crystals in my room right and apparently they were listed as like calming gems or whatevs and my mom believes in those... AM I WEIRD XD
Load More Replies...Oh god this reminds me of some whack job on a community group I was on at the start of Covid, claiming violet light would save and heal us all. Got her banned.
Load More Replies...But... my NAME is Crystal XD and I like myself! So I apparently would automatically make men lose interest in me, just by existing XD
wowww that's such a pretty name!!!! :DDD
Load More Replies...Whatever. I'm going to sit with my pretty and sparkly rocks and enjoy life. They don't give me a headache like people do.
Always vent about every tiny little thing (and that’s fine) but as soon as you are going through something rough they respond with a one-liner cliché sentence or somehow start venting back making it their issue.
People wonder why I struggle immensely to open up, well, here you go.
Even worse when the person later uses your venting or struggles against you in a argument or something
Lying about small things - because it means they'll also lie about big things, inevitably.
Having a unidirectional personality.
Dated a “gym girl”. All she did was talk about her gym.
For every gym girl there are 10 gym guys who talk incessantly about their "reps."
When you're talking to them and they reply, "OMG that's so funny" while they're occupied with their phones, not laughing or even smiling.
Too concerned about their social media presence. Also not being punctual but I think that more a personal preference cuz it’s disrespectful to not keep your word when you say you’re gonna do something.
Flirt and give their attention to other men, and when caught try to pretend like it was harmless and we’re overreacting which will sometimes cause us to really ponder on if we’re really overreacting or not.
There's flirting and there's flirting. My wife and I do flirt with other people (both genders), but we have boundaries, we don't hide it, and we don't deny it. I don't see either flirting to paying attention as being the problem, it's crossing the agreed-upon boundaries and the gaslighting.
"Give their attention to other men"? Do you mean like talking to other men? Cause i see no problem with that, i think this one might be a matter of insecurity?
I think we have a definitional problem here. SOme people refer to flirting as just innocent joking that no one is taking seriously... That is all okay with everyone. But Flirting can also be defined as making sexual/ romantic overtures to someone that you are interested in. That is generally a bad thing to do when you are committed to someone else. The lines between the two can be difficult . So some people who are upset about flirting may be insecure and others may be actually in the right.
It's not flirting I'd be worried about. It's about why a person thinks that flirting with others is ok when in a relationship. Especially when comes to strangers. You don't know if someone won't take it seriously.
Load More Replies... Get jealous over little things.
Show up at my house uninvited.
Get mad when I don’t text back right away.
Expect me to yell at them, otherwise I don’t care about them.
Define "little things". Other than that, all valid reasons to block and move on
I can see why she's surprised that the OP doesn't yell at her. She seems to be trying her best to provide a whole range of reasons to do so.
Was on a date with a gorgeous redhead. Found out real quick she didn’t need a bf, she needed a therapist. She literally made me think of eyore from Winnie the Pooh, all she needed was her own personal rain cloud. She was pitying herself the whole damn time.
Entitlement, boss babe personality, lack of appreciation, bad listening, no empathy, lack of reciprocation, playing hard to get.
I've been talking to a girl I liked for a couple of weeks, I know she has fallen out with her family all about her worked and friend, She hasn't bothered to ask or even listen when I tell her things about me. She's smart and independent, that's what I liked about her originally but she's so full of herself
Dating more than one dude at a time. Choose the other guy I don't have time for that c**p.
I honestly don't think this is an issue as long as she is honest. If not, then carry on.
I think dating more than 1 person at a time is actually a great idea in the "getting to know you" phase, as long as you haven't gotten serious. Once you go further than a good night kiss, it is time to be exclusive.
I think it depends on what you mean by "dating". To me the word always implied something prior to being in a long-term, fixed or monogamous relationship, in which case, yes, I might be going out on 'dates' with lots of people, male or female. I suspect that this definition is not universal though, when I see things like "we've been dating for two years".
To me, dating is different to going on dates. You can go on as many dates with as many people as you like, but when you turn the corner with one (each person has their own views on what the corner is), then you stop going on dates with others and are now dating. But as you said, I suspect others may have other views.
Load More Replies...Depends on whether or not this is an open relationship- as long as all parties are aware of what's going on and are okay with these circumstances it should be fine.
Unless the two of you explicitly say you're not dating other people, this is just a dude getting pissy over nothing. You're probably not as great as you think you are to demand her full attention immediately
Talk about all their past lovers.
I have never done that to a guy but guys used to do it to me a lot and it made my blood boil, it’s so disrespectful
It's disrespectful when anyone does it. Makes me think people who do it are too scared to be single and are just on the rebound.
Load More Replies...My current one got upset because I didn't talk about my past ones... You looking for pointers or just nosey???
Take zero initiative.
Sometimes that can mean they're really shy. It can take some time to come out of their shell.
Well, it's about what people find uninteresting. I'm shy myself, I need someone who isn't. Shyness can certainly be unappealing, too. Though, I don't think this is about shyness.
Load More Replies...This is something that isn't just women. My husband has zero initiative.
Express contempt, hatred or distaste for men in general
You know it's only a matter of time before they turn that on you
Stuff like that is often how abusive people vet potential partners, to find the ones who will put up with it
After a while, you're just over it, and don't want to hear that s**t anymore.
This is a very common trauma response, but if you want to be with a man you need to deal with it. There are good guys out there!
Smoking.
Playing hard to get.
I'm always curious, how these people know, that someone is playing and not have some real issues or higher standards.
Really? In what sense? Maybe she's not sure if she's interested in someone just yet
When she talks to me about other guys she’s into especially if she’s trying to make me jeleous it makes me feel like you’re not interested in me instant turn off for me like why even talk to me in the first place.
Because talking may be just talking and you may be imagining something.
Never being physically intimate and treating sex just as a chore.
Dude, women generally don't like it if you jump on and off. Think about your partner, tpp.
Exactly. We are not life rafts, thank you very much
Load More Replies...Yeah idk, this *could* also be partially due to OP. It *was* a chore for me in many relationships because they weren't really able to meet my needs.
You can't blame the OP if the woman fails to express her needs aren't being met. People aren't mind readers, they need to know if what they're doing isn't working for you. Sometimes it might be a case of they just don't care, but you won't know that if you don't tell them. Always treating it like a chore and doing nothing to solve that problem, makes it a you (not you, general you, lol) problem, not a them problem
Load More Replies...Maybe it is a chore when he's only interested in his own gratification.
Cancelling date plans with a terrible excuse and asking to reschedule. Why'd you agree to a date you were never intending on actually going on?
Because sometimes men are scary about rejection, but thinking of an excuse later on to get out of it seems milder and isn't a face-to-face confrontation
This may be a good rationale for doing it once, but if it's a continuing pattern, there's got to be another explanation.
Load More Replies...Being clingy and needy all the time and testing you by asking your thoughts on other women.
This explains why they do it, but it doesn't magically make what they do okay.
Load More Replies...As long as I can reciprocate by asking about other men... Nothing wrong with guaging eachother's perspectives on what they find attractive in others. Can also be an intro into interesting conversations about movies, books and other pass times.
They might have an anxious attachment style or YOU make them anxious because they don't know where they stand by being deliberately ambiguous (went on a date with a dude who complained that women ALWAYS asked him where they'd stand,).
Just say, yea she's cute, maybe we could invite her over, Id love to watch you to together.
Being rude to the other women as they leave my house.
Agree to go on a date and just be boring or not intrested in conversation. Like why did you say yes in the first place.
One has to have a few failures before finding a soul mate. As an inventor once said: "I didn't have 1000 failures. I just found 1000 ways to make it not work."
Not having goals or a sense of direction in life can be a turn-off for those who value ambition and drive.
For me, having an interest in life and learning/experiencing new things are more important...
Short texts, infrequent texts. Okay okay I get it, I’ll f**k off then. I’m not going to carry the relationship and you’re clearly not head over heels.
I was on a date with a girl, we were having lunch., At one point she was talking to me, her mouth was moving but her eyes were tracking another guy who was walking across the room.
(a) What a rude thing to do
(b) She didn't even notice that I noticed...how obtuse.
(c) no more date for you.
....because you don't look at attractive women at all when you are with your date /s
I have that problem. If I'm in public open space I track everything going on around me. Never sit with my back to the door, and keep eye on any movement. I think it comes from when I worked as a bouncer. For 10+ year I was in clubs and bars nearly every night and just observing. It very hard to turn off.
All these comments going " MeN dO iT, tOo." Yeah, maybe. But the question that started this thread was was men think about women. Just go find a thread asking women instead and there you go.
With this article coming on the back of one yesterday from the opposite side we now have what women do wrong and what men do wrong, what have we learned? That both genders do exactly the same things!
Righto!! It's a human species syndrome. Who friggin knew /s
Load More Replies...Most of these items seemed to me to be a signal that she just isn't into you that much.
A few, I don't really understand. "Want to be treated feminine but act masculine.", for example, currently #59. What's that even meant to mean? How does one act, in this sense, masculine? Rip a tree out the ground and lay it down, because there was no free bench at the riverside? Generally, all that aren't single points, and debatable as such, but lists, seem to be not what's asked here, yet it's full thereof. And I want to remain single anyway, so, basically ... it doesn't really matter in regard to dating and mating, but ... is this article even meant to be read by me? I don't really want to be part of a couple. The only time I just got up and left was ... a blind date set up by a friend, against my objection that setting up people to become couples is kinda wrong in itself, and also, after the usual bit of introduction, she issued a ten minute long rant about cats, and how her sister's cat ruined her homework, peed in her bed (yes, always was the cat, the dog, but not her), and how her "stupid sister" kicked out a grade-A dude, vastly exceeding me, because he hated her "stupid cat". I should have asked for sister's number, but didn't think of it then.
Load More Replies...I’m a middle aged white guy who voted for Hilary in 2016, and the next week at a party every woman and person under 40 gave me hate stares because I’d obviously voted for Trump. I’m a servant to my own conscience, not anyone else’s perceptions.
For me one of the biggest things to make me lose interest in a women are smoking/d***s, having tattoos or piercings and unnecessary drama. Another thing which makes me reconsider interest is when a woman has zero ambitions, plans or hobbies. I had this recently with a ex-coworker I hanged out with a lot. It was impossible to initiate a conversation with her as the only thing she did besides work was being inside reading books all day long.
Playing hard to get/games in general, not "knowing" how to use a razor, being rude to animals, having no goals, constantly on the phone, just trying to live off of others etc. The more red flags you encounter, the more you ask yourself if you REALLY want to put up with those - and the answer should be no. There are enough great girls out there, don't settle if you got a bad feeling from the start.
All these comments going " MeN dO iT, tOo." Yeah, maybe. But the question that started this thread was was men think about women. Just go find a thread asking women instead and there you go.
With this article coming on the back of one yesterday from the opposite side we now have what women do wrong and what men do wrong, what have we learned? That both genders do exactly the same things!
Righto!! It's a human species syndrome. Who friggin knew /s
Load More Replies...Most of these items seemed to me to be a signal that she just isn't into you that much.
A few, I don't really understand. "Want to be treated feminine but act masculine.", for example, currently #59. What's that even meant to mean? How does one act, in this sense, masculine? Rip a tree out the ground and lay it down, because there was no free bench at the riverside? Generally, all that aren't single points, and debatable as such, but lists, seem to be not what's asked here, yet it's full thereof. And I want to remain single anyway, so, basically ... it doesn't really matter in regard to dating and mating, but ... is this article even meant to be read by me? I don't really want to be part of a couple. The only time I just got up and left was ... a blind date set up by a friend, against my objection that setting up people to become couples is kinda wrong in itself, and also, after the usual bit of introduction, she issued a ten minute long rant about cats, and how her sister's cat ruined her homework, peed in her bed (yes, always was the cat, the dog, but not her), and how her "stupid sister" kicked out a grade-A dude, vastly exceeding me, because he hated her "stupid cat". I should have asked for sister's number, but didn't think of it then.
Load More Replies...I’m a middle aged white guy who voted for Hilary in 2016, and the next week at a party every woman and person under 40 gave me hate stares because I’d obviously voted for Trump. I’m a servant to my own conscience, not anyone else’s perceptions.
For me one of the biggest things to make me lose interest in a women are smoking/d***s, having tattoos or piercings and unnecessary drama. Another thing which makes me reconsider interest is when a woman has zero ambitions, plans or hobbies. I had this recently with a ex-coworker I hanged out with a lot. It was impossible to initiate a conversation with her as the only thing she did besides work was being inside reading books all day long.
Playing hard to get/games in general, not "knowing" how to use a razor, being rude to animals, having no goals, constantly on the phone, just trying to live off of others etc. The more red flags you encounter, the more you ask yourself if you REALLY want to put up with those - and the answer should be no. There are enough great girls out there, don't settle if you got a bad feeling from the start.
