“What’s Something You Were Told As A Child By Adults That You Now Realize Is A Complete Lie?” (30 Answers)
InterviewWe all know that parents lie sometimes. From small white lies to much bigger things, probably all of our parents have 'warped the truth' at least a little at some point or another. However, some experiences are much more serious than others, and the falsities that our parents tell us end up hurting a lot or changing our understanding of the world around us.
This online user decided to get some stories from people by asking them about the lies their parents told them, and it led to all kinds of interesting tales. Some are funny, some are pretty horrible, and some might make you question why some people are even parents. If you have anything similar to share, please feel free to do so in the comment section below!
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That I can be whoever I want to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
We got an interview with Dr. Rosina McAlpine, and she answered some questions about why parents lie to their kids in the first place: "There are many reasons why parents choose to lie to their kids at times. It can be as loving and innocent as wanting to share the magic and joy of believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy at one end, right through to wanting to protect their children by not sharing financial issues or health issues with them so as not to stress or frighten them. Then there are the lies parents make up to scare children into 'compliance,' like 'If you don't behave, we will call the police to take you to jail' or 'If you're not good, Santa won't bring you presents' or 'If you cross your eyes in the wind, they will stay like that!'"
Re: bullies.
"Just ignore them and they'll go away."
No it doesn't. It just makes them laugh so they do it more.
Bullies COUNT on you 'turning the other cheek' or 'taking the high road' or whatever else people want to call it. Because it means that there are no consequences for their actions. 'Silence means assent' is the bullies' creed, because as long as no one stops them it means it is ok for them to continue.
I'm an adult now but how many times in Middle School did I hear from the Vice Principal " Keep your nose clean" ' just ignore " They never took bullying in the mid nineties as seriously as they do now
Load More Replies...I punched a bully in the stomach when he decided to try that s**t on my private time, outsider of school. He got in my face, I said nothing, just punched him and walked away. He stood there making gasping noises bent over, and I didn't look back. He never bothered me again. He was a coward. But there was a psycho who would physicslly attack me in school, I'd never have laid a finger on that unstable MFer, he would have snapped and beaten me bloody. I have no doubt about that. He was unhinged. So for fighting back I'd say choose very carefully: Is it just for show for others so they'll feel cool, or does that person just want a punching bag? If the latter; you'd better make damn sure that's a fight you're litterally going to win, or else be careful. Some people are a******s, and some are just dangerous. The unhinged one later became a drug addict and I'm sure there was something messed up going on in his life, but that's never an excuse. He's one of the few people I've never felt sorry for. I wish him unwell.
This is wise advice. Everyone suggests just "fight back"- this is better.
Load More Replies...Same goes for “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”. Absolute B******T. Words hurt just as much—-and potentially stay with you and affect you for the rest of your life. The saying should be “broken bones will heal, but cruel words can hurt forever”.
My mom was "they just want to be friends but don't know how" ssurreee
I was bullied a lot by this one guy till I jabbed him with scissors and drew blood. He didnt f**k with me after that.
My man. You had scissors sharp enough to cut paper st your school? Lucky
Load More Replies...The best thing you can do to a bully is look at their family history, and just roast them in front of a big crowd. Edit: spelling error
"Hahaha She's not even crying. Probably because she's so used to people picking on her." - heard from one of the random bullies in my home ec. class. Who went to a different school and just picked on me (as well as others in my class) just because she thought she was so tough. She punched my friend in the nose for no reason, in class and wasn't kicked out of the course for good.
I too tried the 'ignore them' strategy. Wouldn't even react when they threw things at me in class. They thought it was funny that I 'didn't notice' and would throw even more to see if it would make anything happen.
Load More Replies...The QB then vowed revenge for their losing season. So every day for the last month of school, he told me he was going to kick my @ss on the last day of school. On the last day, I took off my sock, and dropped a big bottle of elmers glue in it. Then I put it in my back pocket. I beat the QB out the door, and when he emerged, I had that glue bottle at full swing. Caught him in the left side of the jaw, breaking it. He spent the whole summer with his jaw wired shut, and unable to eat anything but carnation instant breakfast and scrambled eggs. He lost weight and was unable to work out. So he lost is starting position on the team. They had another bad year the next school year, and I got the reputation as a "sneaky bastard" that won't fight fair. How is a 200 LB guy beating up on an 85 LB guy fair? but after that, the bullies left me alone.
My favorite is the "he's picking on you because he likes you" cr@p adults liked to say when I came to them for the millionth time because so and so took my jacket/notebook/pencil AGAIN and punched me/tried to push me down the stairs.
Or saying 'they're just jealous' like of what? I was tiny and mousy and wore hand me downs... beat response I've heard is to ask what their problem is and try to mock talk to them like you're their therapist
Load More Replies...As soon as you realise that this is a 'pattern' in their behaviour you should make a scene by screaming at them, and a quick jab to the throat works wonders in changing perspectives
Unfortunately bullies are very quick to be the victims or not understanding why there where a outburst out of nothing. Grown ups (or authority figure, in case of adults) will believe the bullies way to often. And you will come out punished or belittled. Way to much experience with bullies, as a kid and adult.
Load More Replies...We always told our son we have his back when it's self-defence, whatever the school says. After two years of being bullied and the school ignoring the problem, my husband told the teacher he had given our son permission to punch the other kid in the face and I quote: " 'till his nose bleeds." There was no blood involved, but the bully stopped.
I was told a variation of this one. "If you ignore them, they'll leave you alone." NO...THEY...WON'T!
in 10th grade, we moved states. I was 4ft 9 inches tall and weighed maybe 80 lbs. At the new school, I was placed in a class with all the football players and the cheerleaders. The football coach was the teacher. On the first test, I got a 98 and blew the bell curve. So a bunch of football players and cheerleaders failed, so the couldn't play. The team lost their next game very badly. So I got the typical threatening intimidation from the 5' 11" 250Lb defensive nose guard that failed the test. "You caused us to lose the game. I am gonna kick your a*s after school." He wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box. He was leaning against the lockers while saying this. Well, the hinged side of my locker door was on his side. He leaned in to threaten me some more, and I slammed the locker door in his face as hard as I could. I broke his nose. He couldn't play football for the next 8 weeks while it healed. That gained me detention, and ruined the teams complete season. Continued:
When I was a kid, I quickly learned that the best way to deal with bullies is violence. Also, a hammer helps
You just have to tell them: "I think there's a misunderstanding: you think I can't beat your a*s and make it look like an accident..."
Sixth grade. Would not leave me alone. Sat behind me, leaning forward to harass me. I picked up my heavy Social Studies book and hit hard as I could over my head and behind. He howled in pain and never bothered me again. Oh, this was after teacher and parent intervention failed to stop him. Sometimes you just gotta put the hurt on.
"Turning the other cheek" is a primitive religious idea that's pure fantasy.
I found it was better to perfect the most withering stare I could possibly manage and hit them with that instead of trying to come up with a good retort. Eventually they got bored with me and everyone else came to the conclusion that I had forgotten how to talk.
My MOM taught me to pick the biggest one and beat the cr*p out of them the first time, then you'll allegedly be good for the rest of the year. She even told me that if the police got involved she'd back me??? Yeah,I looked like an adult in 5th grade, but thought I would seriously hurt someone if I "went off." I never did and suffered bullies all through school.
The only way is to fight back. I was the skinny guy with glasses, but I would go berserk. Nothing is as scary for a bully as somebody who doesn't care about getting hurt themselves, so long as they also hurt th ebully too. Bullies are, first and foremost, cowards.
The people who bullied me as a child didn't stop until the day I broke one of their noses.
There's the saying "Violence doesn't solve anything." Well, clearly that was a lie. You had a problem and you used violence to solve it.
Load More Replies...Learn some basic self defense moves and kick them where it counts.
Somebody starts bullying you, record it. Anytime you're around them record it. Dont let yourself respond in kind. Make sure that recorder hears you asking them politely to stop. When they don't (because they wont.)record yourself telling a teacher or principal. Don't tell them about the recorder yet. Do this multiple times. THEN, (with a parent if possible) bring it to the principal, "school board, whoever you can and tell them. This person has been f*cking with me and I have done everything in my power to make them stop. The teachers have done nothing to help. I have repeated occurrences of this. I want real measures taken." My sisters boyfriend did this. Twice. First time, the kid got suspended and was forced to switch classes when he came back. When it started up again and the teachers STILL refused to do anything about it, he took THAT recording and threatened to sue the school. Kid was expelled almost immediately.
My school counselor told me "if you tried to make friends with them, they'd be nicer to you"... Why would I try making friends with people who are cruel to me?
I went the Liam Neeson route, 30 years before there was a Liam Neeson: "I can't stop you from beating me up, but when I take my revenge--and I will take it--you won't ever see it coming, and it will be worse than anything you can imagine." Everyone knew I was the school chemistry nerd, so no one dared cross me. (And just to be clear, this was long before the days of school shootings or pipe bombs, so it wasn't that kind of threat--the bullies believed I would come up with some much more exotic form of chemical revenge.)
I'd try to do the right thing and tell a grownup. Half the time, my teachers would just look the other way. Thanks for sticking up for us.
edit: Just to clarify, those who believe that you ignore it and they go away.
Bullies are cowards who are enabled by those who believe this c**p
I had neighbours who ganged up on me as I didn't want to hang out with them. This was six years ago in the summer as they were hanging out in the communal garden almost 24/7. The worst was that I had to put my bicycle away there in a row of sheds so either I stopped riding it or I would park it by the nearby shops and then go out at midnight to bring it back to put away in my shed. The following summer was too hot for them to hang out in so that was a blessing. I was told by my solicitor they would give up on me eventually if I ignored them but when I ignored them they stepped up the harassment as they knew which buttons to push to get me to snap. Well two years ago two of them moved out after one of them decided to keep himself to himself and not hang out with them anymore. I only see that one when he walks his dog or goes out to buy food.Yes they eventually give up on harassing you if you ignore them but that could take up to two to five years.
So true. Some bullies give up easily. I was being harassed so much by neighbours when they got together & they didn't give up easily. When I did ignore them for weeks they just stepped up the harassment to get me to react as they knew which buttons to press. Thank goodness two of them moved out and one of them now keeps himself to himself.
There is another in-between technique that can be effective in certain circumstances. For bullying that isn't threatening violence, but is more of a "picking on" situation, it can really take the wind out of the bully's sails to respond with a "that's right" type response to what they're saying to you and then to carry on with what you were doing. They don't get to see you upset or attempting to ignore them. It can really make the bully look stupid and the "victim" look confident enough to be a bad target, especially if the response is done in a tone that isn't challenging or angry, but more like you're mildly amused but dismissive of a lame attempt to belittle.
There's always a wise way to end bullies. Do the research. My research, I found out that making a portrait/artwork of what you thought of them as usually stops them cold. Just make sure you do a real good job. Telling someone " make my life more miserable and you'll make even more money for me" . As a last resort look for the right time to punch them in the face. In the end do your research. Not all of these techniques will work since some are just too dumb to get the message. 😛
"they're only bullying you because they're jealous". No, they're not.
They bully for all sorts of reasons but envy might be a reason. Being an easy target is another reason.
Load More Replies...Used to have a guy call me Head Nodder because of my Tourette's. Got everyone laughing at me. One day I pointed him out to my Mom when she was dropping me off at HS and she just said "You're letting someone who looks like Howdy Doody pick on you?" (Before my time, but common knowledge who Howdy Doody was.) As I walked up to the doors and he announced to his large group "Hey look, it's Head Nodder!" They all start to laugh. I looked him dead in the eye and said "Shut the f*ck up you Howdy Doody lookin Mother F*cker." His friends started cracking up and he never said another thing to me.
Growing up a fat girl, I always used power, control, and dominance as a last resort, but found they worked, every single time. I hated doing it, but the moment I did, bullies backed off and backed down. Bullying gave me a spine of steel and a mouth like a sailor. Thanks, bullies, you made me stronger than you could ever hope to be, damn near unbreakable.
Taekwondo lessons should be taught in 7th grade. It would stop bullying very effectively.
In schools, there needs to be more consequences for bullying. Teachers see it, and for the most part, ignore it, and the bullies know this and take it as permission to continue.
I was always taught to face bullies down - if that doesn't work, get your retaliation in first. I never got bullied all the way through my time at prep then boarding school (all boys English Grammar school, quite a 'boisterous' place ) ; a total of 9 years, including having two of my brothers come to the same school after me ; funnily enough, they never got bullied either !! BTW, I'm not particularly big / threatening or nuts, just very assertive.
There's literally no way out of this s**t. If you fight, you're blamed, and they're better than you anyways. If you let it get to you, they're satisfied and keep returning for that satisfaction. If you ignore them, they keep doing it because there's no consequence. There is no way out.
Hardwork will get you what you want or where you want always.
Dr. McAlpine also shared whether she thinks lying to kids is good or bad: "As a mum, I have NO REGRETS lying to our son about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. This brought our son and our whole family so many wonderful years of magic and joy. Sure, it wasn't easy when we had to tell him it was all 'kind of a lie.' Only 'kind of,' as in a way it wasn't a lie. It was a way of sharing the wonder of setting goals and making wishes, and that our wishes can come true (even if it is Mum or Dad putting presents under the Christmas tree at first). But later on in life, it provides the groundwork for setting goals, dreaming big, and allowing for miracles to happen!"
That adults know what they are doing.
31 and I feel like a chicken with his head cut off.
Dr. Rosina McAlpine continues: "However, apart from Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, I do not believe in lying to our child about anything. I may withhold information if he is too young to understand - if it isn't age-appropriate - BUT I will not lie. I do my best to answer his questions as fully as I can and as truthfully as I can using age-appropriate language - even the difficult conversations of 'Will you die?' or 'Where did I come from?'"
Always trust the adults.
Yeeaaah, no.
The government is good and there to help you
then why won't the government make a minimum wage enough to pay rent 😭 (I would prefer not to have arguments in the replies please)
We also asked Dr. McAlpine what problems a person could grow up with if they are lied to too much: "Children learn their values from their parents and family. Lying to children tells them lying is OK - my parents did it, so I can do it. Hiding the truth from their children tells children it is fine to hide the truth from their parents.
Open communication from parents supports open communication from children." When asked at what age parents should start being completely truthful to their kids, the expert said: "Always... Trust builds over time... It is hard to regain trust once it is lost."
"You can be anything you want when you grow up."
That's not true. Some people just don't have what it takes to be a fighter pilot, doctor or cop.
I wanted to be a dragon rider, but no, stupid discriminatory rules because some idiot thought vampires like dragon blood! Everyone knows it tastes terrible and has horrible side effects! My friend died from a dragon blood overdose, do you really think I want anything to do with that? And besides, why would I hurt a dragon?
That a degree would open all the doors and knowing about politics, history and general stuff would make me an interesting person and that socializing was a waste of time. Nowadays I work for a big4 but I have the personality of a boiled potato. And they have the nerves to ask why I don't have a girlfriend or more friends at 27. Teach your kids social skills. Studying is not everything
You’ll want kids when you’re older.
One day you’ll understand that we only spank you because we love you.
Sex before marriage will ruin you.
Homosexuality is wrong.
If you really want something the best way to get it is pray really hard.
You’ll want kids when you’re older. It's now scientifically confirmed that this is bogus in most cases. They made a big survey with thousands of people and asked them if they wanted children when they were young and if that changed when they grew older, and the consensus was that the decision is stable into aduldhood and that people who let others pressure them into having kids despite not really wanting them were regretting it
HS teachers: "That stuff won't fly in college"
College: ✈️✈️✈️✈️
Is college really that easy ??? I'm in a french university and it's a billion times harder than high school.
That you gotta have respect for you elders.... Don't get me wrong you gotta have respect for everyone but I'm only gonna give what you give me. If you are a b******e ima be a b******e
Respect is earned. I can treat someone with dignity even if I don't respect them
"Work hard and you'll get ahead." We do not live in the world our parents thought we would. It's about working smarter, not harder.
And it's smarter to go into an apprenticeship like plumbing or mechanic that pays you to learn than pay college to learn and get a degree you'll never use
You won't always have a calculator
Here's the thing. In my job, you see a lot of 'black box' users. Meaning they push a button, get a number and go 'well that must be the right answer.' But if you don't know HOW it is getting that answer, you don't know if that number really is right. Same goes even for basic math on a calculator. If you don't understand math, how do you know your calculator worked? How do you know you didn't miss enter something? Or even just that the program had a random glitch? Just because you have a calculator doesn't mean it is ok to not learn math. Further, a lot times what you are learning is not just how to do math, but how to approach problems in general. Figuring out how to solve that math problem on your homework gives you strategies for figuring out how to solve other problems in completely different areas of your life.
"If you don't react when people bully you, then they don't have power over you anymore."
Because that's absolute b******t. It also encouraged my bullies to keep upping the ante and doing worse s**t until I exploded with rage/frustration, which always got ME into more trouble than it did them for bullying me in the first place. Apparently, a 'lady' is always able to hold in her feelings when she's being mistreated and fighting back against bullies isn't considered ladylike.
My daughter kicked a bully in the stomach. But not because he bullied her but because he bullied her trans friend. I wasn't sure how to respond to that story because the school didn't know about it.
"you have the worst teeth ive ever seen!"
Said to 9 year-old me by a tenured dentist who had surely seen worse teeth. She probably did it to scare me into improving my brushing habits. What it ACTUALLY did was make me fear the dentist and stopped me from going for 8 years.
F**k you Doctor Newton
I was just talking to my mom today about anxiety regarding the dentist/dental visits. One of the very FEW things my mom did right when I was a kid was get me used to going to the dentist for checkups/etc. when I was very young, and she picked an excellent pediatric dentist. I'm very fortunate that I've never had ANY fear or anxiety about visiting the dentist. I've never had a cavity, and I can fall asleep during dental cleanings XD My mom gets mega anxiety, as does my ex. My ex has to take Valium before an appointment just to get through it :( I feel for people who have anxiety with dentists. I guess my mom must have had a moment of actual parental care/love and didn't want me to have anxiety about the dentist, like she did.
I should listen to my mother. She was wrong most of the time.
My late mother was old school. When I couldn't take wearing my heavy Coke-bottle bottom glasses anymore, I decided to get contact lenses. I must have been about 22 at the time. I casually mentioned this to my mother, and she said: "Oh, no! Once you put those things in your eyes, you'll never get them out, and you'll go blind! I know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone's son, so for sure that's the truth!" I still wear contacts to this day. It was the best thing I ever did for my eyes.
You'd be so pretty if you just lost weight.
Ya'll are BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS STUNNING and PERFECT no matter what you weigh and I hope you realize that <3
Cracking your fingers make you get arthritis
I was told it makes your knuckles bulge. Never actually happened though. The cracking sound is not actually bones you're hearing. It's the bubbles formed in the cartilage popping that you hear. If it were your bones they would quickly erode.
"It's a sin not to go to church *every* Sunday. Remember, God is watching you."
If you are honest, work hard, are virtuous, and treat people well you will get ahead in life. Its bull s**t... the people who get ahead in life are almost the exact opposite
Cynicism is not bad, but should be doled out in doses. I think the healthier attitude is to not focus on what others are doing and keep going for yourself and because it’s worthy.
My mom always said "who wants to be beautiful has to suffer" while she untangled my hair with a comb. It's a Dutch saying, but it's so weird thinking about it now. It was also never said to my brothers
My mom just told me to shut up and stop moving my head when she would put my hair in tight buns for ballet class.
Go to College and you will get your dream job.....
I would much rather have a job that pays me tons of money. Fortunately, my dream job is to be a plumber, so I've got the best of both worlds!
“No harm in asking”, boy did that get me in trouble…
Well, that kinda depends on what you're asking. I wonder what this person asked.....
Women can’t cut straight lines (especially in cheese and bread) because of their elbows.
You can’t use tampons unless you’re not a virgin.
Children always have the exact same blood type as the father and If it’s different, the mother cheated.
‘Hons’ after a persons qualifications means it’s honorary and they didn’t actually earn a degree.
You can’t have measles if you’ve had chicken pox and vice versa.
I think it's more that I wasn't told anything, not how to respect people, present myself or even look for jobs. Asking my parents it was always "school was ment to teach that"
If you open the fridge for too long and the beeping noise starts beeping , the fridge is gonna explode
Lolol, I love this one! I can just imagine the parents getting so annoyed by the kids standing with the fridge door open and beeping and coming up with this gem!
That you can't be full unless you eat bread. Carbs actually make you hungrier. Protein fills you up.
Also: if you drink coffee, you'll grow a tail. Don't ask me where I'm from.
The bread line was because it was cheaper to fill up with bread. when poor you do what you can to keep hunger away.
My great grandmother was from Liverpool, and her maiden name was Harrison. My Aunt told us that George Harrison was our cousin. Turns out there were lots of people in Liverpool named Harrison, not all of them were related.
When I was young my Grandpa fixed up a bike to give me on my birthday. It was dark blue and had a glittery “banana seat” (all the rage in the early 80’s 😋). For some reason, he told me it had been his bike but he took it through the car wash and I believed that damn story for years and told all my friends. (Why my Grandpa had a glittery purple seat, I didn’t consider! 😂) It wasn’t until a couple of years later when I started to tell someone new that I stopped and actually thought about how silly the story was! You got me Grandpa!!
Anyone else have parents that told them they would get curly hair if they ate the crusts on bread?
Yes! And one party my mum made a platter of sandwiches and cut off all the crusts for the kids... I ate so many crusts that day to try and get curly hair.
Load More Replies...The horrifying stuff always gets more upvotes, doesn't it :C
Load More Replies...When I came home crying because other kids were being mean and picking on me she flippantly said they were just jealous.
Only slightly better than what I got, "Well, what did you do?" :/ Not all people should be parents, eh?
Load More Replies...I find a lot of these are just bizarre and piece of general advice should be tempered by careful thought and good sense; rarely is it to be taken literally.
“Quitters never win” is the reason why so many people stay in toxic situations, thinking that if they try hard enough they can fix things. “Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” The stars are farther away from Earth than the moon, so if your goal is the moon and you reach the stars, you’ve succeeded and exceeded your original goal.
Aliens... "We'll come back and take you to the stars!".... Yeah... Well, all that a**l probing, and I never saw them again! Liars!
Is it just me or are these the same couple of dozen entries fanning the same flames?
My mother told me if I popped pimples on my forehead it would go back into my head and kill me. It only took me a couple weeks at most to realize there's a really hard thing called a skull that would keep that from happening.
“Be the change you want to see.” Like we don’t already have enough martyrs for good causes.
When I was young my Grandpa fixed up a bike to give me on my birthday. It was dark blue and had a glittery “banana seat” (all the rage in the early 80’s 😋). For some reason, he told me it had been his bike but he took it through the car wash and I believed that damn story for years and told all my friends. (Why my Grandpa had a glittery purple seat, I didn’t consider! 😂) It wasn’t until a couple of years later when I started to tell someone new that I stopped and actually thought about how silly the story was! You got me Grandpa!!
Anyone else have parents that told them they would get curly hair if they ate the crusts on bread?
Yes! And one party my mum made a platter of sandwiches and cut off all the crusts for the kids... I ate so many crusts that day to try and get curly hair.
Load More Replies...The horrifying stuff always gets more upvotes, doesn't it :C
Load More Replies...When I came home crying because other kids were being mean and picking on me she flippantly said they were just jealous.
Only slightly better than what I got, "Well, what did you do?" :/ Not all people should be parents, eh?
Load More Replies...I find a lot of these are just bizarre and piece of general advice should be tempered by careful thought and good sense; rarely is it to be taken literally.
“Quitters never win” is the reason why so many people stay in toxic situations, thinking that if they try hard enough they can fix things. “Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” The stars are farther away from Earth than the moon, so if your goal is the moon and you reach the stars, you’ve succeeded and exceeded your original goal.
Aliens... "We'll come back and take you to the stars!".... Yeah... Well, all that a**l probing, and I never saw them again! Liars!
Is it just me or are these the same couple of dozen entries fanning the same flames?
My mother told me if I popped pimples on my forehead it would go back into my head and kill me. It only took me a couple weeks at most to realize there's a really hard thing called a skull that would keep that from happening.
“Be the change you want to see.” Like we don’t already have enough martyrs for good causes.