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Effective therapists don’t necessarily provide instant cures for mental struggles. Instead, they help people reframe thoughts more favorably through words of wisdom that may leave a lasting impact. 

These words are a huge deal for patients whose lives have improved. Some are opening up in this Reddit thread that asks, “What’s one thing a therapist has said to you that you will never forget?”

One person shared their renewed perspective on the concept of family. Another individual received one of the most unique and eye-opening pieces of advice about letting go of ill feelings. 

Whether or not you’ve been to therapy, you may pick up a thing or two just by reading these responses. Scroll through, and hopefully, you do take something valuable with you.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes “The urge to binge lasts 7 minutes”. 

I struggled with binge eating disorder for 20 years and finally sought help last January. I would get the urge to binge around the same time every night, around 9:30. I bought a little sudoku book from the dollar store and played for 10 minutes every time I got the urge to binge. 

Obviously, it took a lot more than that statement for me to begin my recovery, and those 7 minutes were absolutely grueling for the first few months, but I can proudly say I’ve been binge-free since February 1st, 2023. 

MCSweatpants , Tim Samuel / pexels Report

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#2

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes There is a difference between “I don’t want to live anymore “ and “I don’t want to live LIKE THIS anymore” - yup, Mrs. Kim, you were right and I’m still around!

blrps , freepik Report

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Alexia
Alexia
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Lord, I often cried out to You "I wanna die!!"; luckily, You didn't take me seriously" :)

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#3

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes She asked if there was anything I wanted to do in my life that I no longer thought I could do. I told her that I wanted to go to law school but that was no longer in the cards for me. She said, “you know that you can still go to law school right? No one has to give you permission.”

I’ll be graduating with my JD in May of next year.
I doubt she understands the true impact of her simple statement that day.

sethscoolwife , KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / pexels Report

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Alexia
Alexia
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Struggling with limitative beliefs is so difficult and you really need someone else to light up things for you. "I don't deserve to [enter whatever - be happy, live better, have a good relationship etc.]" But actually, you CAN do what you were dreaming to, and you DO deserve to be happy. That voice telling you otherwise is not yours.

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#4

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes “You show up for other people because no one ever showed up for you, and you don’t ever want anyone else to feel that pain.”

bondgirlsare4ever , RDNE Stock project / pexels Report

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#5

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes Therapist: “If you were my client while you were a minor i would have absolutely called child services.”
Me: “What? Why? They weren’t perfect, but it’s not like they were abusing me.”
Therapist (after a brief pause): “Not all abuse leaves bruises that others can see.”

LinkGoesHIYAAA , Pixabay / pexels Report

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#6

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes She once told me “you don’t have to earn rest”. It hit me hard because I always felt I had to accomplish a certain amount or be productive before I could relax. Hearing that made me realize it’s okay to just be, and that rest is a right, not a reward. It really changed how I approach self-care and balance in my life.

21st century hustle culture is toxic.

cainebacon , freepik Report

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Alexia
Alexia
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't have to "earn" anything, including people's appreciation and love. Walk away from those who only see you as a back-up option, or a commodity.

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#7

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes “you can be alone, and that’s ok. if only one person ever loves you, even if that person is you, it is enough.”

milo-fischer , lookstudio / freepik Report

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Alexia
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3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Wanna see the person that you can always rely on, no matter what? Look into the mirror"

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#8

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm"

Iamjackstinynipples , Timur Weber / pexels Report

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BannedFromABoatShow
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first time I heard this I actually had to sit down. It completely changed my world.

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#9

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "When I first read your file I thought for sure I'd see a long history of dysfunctional relationships, violent crime and prison time. Instead you've managed to turn into a relatively normal person. I see 5 different traumas from your childhood, any one of which would be enough to have derailed the life of most people. The fact that you're relatively normal is actually a testament to you as a good person."

Made me cry. Hard to say to people "sure I'm messed up, but at least I deserve some credit for not being anywhere near as messed up as I could be" and have them understand. It was nice to be seen and understood by someone.

Icy-Computer-Poop , Photo By: Kaboompics.com / pexels Report

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cerinamroth
cerinamroth
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My therapist said a similar thing to me. She couldn’t believe I‘d managed to have a relationship, a job and a created a stable home for our kids given my background but that she said I was one of the most receptive and resilient people she’d ever met. I’m quite proud of that.

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#10

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes A therapist once told me, "You don’t have to fix everything at once. Just start somewhere." It helped me let go of the pressure to be perfect and focus on small steps. It made the bigger issues feel less overwhelming.

ReporterFamous3631 , freepik Report

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Alexia
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3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And some things are meant to remain unfixed. Walk away from them.

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#11

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes “Just because someone is trying their best that doesn’t mean it’s okay.”

For context we were discussing a family member who just sucks at communicating; he often just ignores me, makes no attempts to get to know me as I am now, is generally just not a great family member. He’s trying his best, but it’s not good enough. I don’t have to act like it is.

myrtlebarracuda , freepik Report

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Alexia
Alexia
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"...he often just ignores me, makes no attempts to get to know me" etc. - sorry but he is NOT trying his best.

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#12

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes My therapist and I were discussing how I felt about a pretty deep betrayal from my now ex-wife. I was beating myself up for not seeing how bad she really was when there was plenty of evidence. He wrote down something on his yellow notepad and then held it up right in my face, practically touching my nose.

He said "what's that say?"

I couldn't read it; it was too close to my face. Stepping back from it a bit, it could read it said "you're too close to see it." He was right. I was too close to the problems and the situation to have been able to see it where in retrospect it was so obvious. I stopped beating myself up over it and was able to let it go.

flutter_quirkzz , Tara Winstead / pexels Report

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Susie Elle
Susie Elle
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's like a desensitisation. The perspective of 'normal' shifts to accommodate what you hold close to you, but only when you step away from it do you see you were trying to hug a cactus with your bare hands all this time, and that constant pain it not a normal.

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#13

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes “You’ve brought up how Chipotle sending you just a bowl of beans in a DoorDash order has affected you 9 times in your last 25 visits. I believe you may be autistic.”

Spoiler: I’m autistic.

FiestaRaquel , Boryslav Shoot / pexels Report

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Yayheterogeneity
Yayheterogeneity
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sometimes is such a relief to get a label to the symptoms unnerving us.

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#14

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes I had talked recently about my inability to find a partner because I’m looking for XYZ and “not a lot of women fit what I’m looking for.”

She paused for a minute and asked me “well…what kind of partner do YOU want to be?”

Blew my mind. Completely changed my approach to dating.

VikingRodeo9 , Satumbo 9 / pexels Report

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Brandie Litchfield
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Be the type of partner that you seek. How can you attract that energy if you do not put forth that energy?

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#15

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "Notice the feelings, like leaves on a river. Call them what they are, then let them go, let them float down the river past you. Don't judge yourself for having them, and don't engage with them. Simply acknowledge them, let them go, and move on."

I remember these words vividly because it's a coping strategy I use almost every day.

obligated_existence , Alex Green / pexels Report

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sturmwesen
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3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one I struggle with. I understand the concept but how do you not wallow in them, interact with them or judge?

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#16

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "You're a people pleaser. And, aren't you a people? So,when is it YOUR turn?"

Darkm0or , freepik Report

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StrangeOne
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to remind myself this all the time. Most of the time it ends with me having to defend myself.

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#17

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "You have family, it just looks different." I learned to ignore my blood relatives and call my friends my chosen family. I have the best family now :)

ImAnActionBirb , Mental Health America (MHA) / pexels Report

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Aileen Grist
Aileen Grist
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The blood of the covenant (friends) are more important than the waters of the womb (family). Often wrongly used as 'blood is thicker than water' to state the opposite

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#18

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "You can’t control how others treat you, but you can control how long you allow it." That really stuck with me because it shifted the way I approached toxic relationships and situations.

Sarki_sultan , Alena Darmel / pexels Report

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#19

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes “If you make an intentional, well thought-out decision, how someone else responds to it is none of your business” 

I didn’t believe him for years. 

Alternative-Bad-6403 , Kampus Production / pexels Report

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Birgit M
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was told the same thing. I'm still working on not constantly justifying my decisions.

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#20

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes She made(asked) me sit at a park and look at the children at a playground and asked me how could I at that age of done anything to deserve the abuse. I was in a space where I felt I was to blame somehow. I will never forget my rage at realizing I was a baby.

Drewswife0302 , cottonbro studio / pexels Report

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Joshua David
Joshua David
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3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This epiphany came to me recently. I was severely depressed and it was exhibiting itself as rage and anger, a year in bed, emotional outbursts etc. I was severly abused by my Polish immigrant father and was allowed by my mother. I'm 46 and 2 years ago i asked my GP if they could prescribe me prozac. After six months i was able to move my 10 hear old wounded inner self to freedom. Im changed from this medication. Depression, anger, heightend emotions are gone. Saved my 12 year relationship. It wouldn't have been possible without Tonya, my therapist. The breakthroughs were shocking and startling everytime. It's been 2 years on the meds now and i can't even remember the person i was for 44 years. Please talk to somebody.

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#21

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes Depression doesn’t have to be sadness or the lack of happiness. It could come in the form of unresolved anger. Made me reframe a lot of what I was trying to fix.

usbman , Joshua Mcknight / pexels Report

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Lady Miss Pie
Lady Miss Pie
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Premium 3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depression is *not* sadness or sick of happiness, it is the absence of vitality. Everyone should listen to Andrew Solomon. Depression is not a mood.

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#22

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes There comes a time when you have to transition from being your son's manager to his consultant.

kokaneeranger , freepik Report

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Papa
Papa
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is very true. I've said this here before, but when my children were younger I never would have dreamed that one of the most difficult parts of being a parent was refraining from offering unsolicited advice after they become adults.

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#23

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes “You don’t have to be perfect to be good enough.” That really changed how I see myself and my struggles. It stuck with me.

romantic_women_ , Darina Belonogova / pexels Report

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Child of the Stars
Child of the Stars
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A friend of mine once put it like this: I don't have to do the yoga poses perfectly to get the full benefit of doing yoga.

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#24

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "maybe the reason it's so hard to believe your significant other loves you is because it's the first time in your life you've ever experienced unconditional love"

maddirbri , Hannah Stevens / pexels Report

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#25

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes That child that was never loved or acknowledged is still waiting, not on your parents but on you. You are her parent now. Will you ignore her, not love her, not value her, and not find her worthy as well? You decide if she thrives or survives. Your parents let her down. Will you do the same?

Dry-Willingness948 , Daka / pexels Report

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Multa Nocte
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is one of the most important items on this entire list. Sometimes you have to be your own parent because most of them are never going to change and be that perfect parent you always wished for.

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#26

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes “When you stop making yourself small, some people will no longer fit in your life.”

gethee2anunnery , Dương Nhân Dương Nhân / pexels Report

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#27

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes When you get married, realize that you’re marrying multiple people. Who you are and who your spouse is today isn’t going to be who they are 10-15 years from now.

Changed the way I view a lot of discussions with my partner ever since.

Thetravelingpants97 , freepik Report

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#28

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes I was telling my psychiatrist about my worries and fears that kept me up at night for the past several years.

Psych :
When did these thoughts begin?

Me:
“Probably for the past 15 years”

Psych:
“And in 15 years of sleepless nights, how many of these things have actually occurred and you had to take care of them?”

Me: “Not a single one”

Psych: “Then why not wait to deal with it when it actually happens?”

The simplicity of that statement was almost childish, but it really made me realize that I was worrying for no reason and I was able to stop that behavior.

TahoeMoon , cottonbro studio / pexels Report

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#29

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes For me, it was a time I was talking about how self-conscious I was when dating and what that other person thought of me. She told me "You're so focused on whether that person would like you, that you don't even realize if you even like them back".

CardiologistThen4916 , Kampus Production / pexels Report

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VNES101
VNES101
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do this all the time. It's not until I come out of that haze that I realize how many red flags they had and that I was never getting to know the real them.

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#30

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "Of course you're anxious. You're an introvert, and a natural leader. They're not mutually exclusive."

Effing nailed the root of my problem. I'd worked so long in sales learning to be chatty I forgot how much I like being alone.

Pookajuice , fauxels / pexels Report

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Rahul Pawa
Rahul Pawa
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate. I consider myself a shy extrovert, which I think most people think of as mutually exclusive.

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#31

“Your self confidence will fluctuate day to day, maybe even minute to minute. That’s transient. But what doesn’t fluctuate is your knowledge, your training, your intelligence and intellect. Those things stay consistent and improve with time. Don’t put too much stock in your self confidence being a measure of how competent you are. Trust in the other things that are consistent and concrete.”

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#32

I recently turned 37. About 2 years ago, I started therapy for one reason, but we migrated to my anxiety and depression.

One day, my therapist told me about breathing techniques... which I knew about. But she had a child patient who would say, "smell the flowers... blow out the candles..." as in, breathe in through your nose and out of your mouth. It was the sweetest thing... it also makes me wonder where this little girl is now since she was in therapy at such a young age. I hope she's doing better. I never met her, just heard this one story... but I think of her often and want all the good things for her. 💜

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Emmamem
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a nurse tell me that when was in the hospital for an asthma attack. Now I use that technique whenever I feel a panic attack coming on.

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#33

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes “You’re whole life you had to fight to prove yourself to the people around you and now you’re just tired”

daydreaming-g , Marcelo Chagas / pexels Report

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#34

"unspoken expectations of others are just future resentments"

Edit: This quote suggesting that you stop expecting things from others. It just means that if you do have expectations of others it's your responsibility to make the other person aware of them.

For example. If you expect your husband to clean the dishes after you've cooked dinner but you never voice those expectations to him then eventually you will resent him for not doing it. People need to be taught how we would like them to be our friends. Then it's up to them if they want to do those things are not.

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Amy S
Amy S
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mmm, I'm not sure about this one. As an adult there are something you should know how to do (pick up after yourself, brush your teeth, basic household chores). Putting one person in charge of making the other aware of basic expectations is very close to giving them the mental load of running the home.

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#35

Your over functioning is allowing their under functioning. In relation to my kids and what I was asking them to do around the house. She asked me if I wanted to release adults into the world who were under functioning humans. Nope! Next day started with chores and responsibilities and everyone is happier

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#36

“They’ll get over it.” We were discussing setting boundaries, and how hard it was for me to say no. People would be mad if I said no, I told her. “So?” she said. “They’ll be mad.” When I just stared at her, not comprehending, she went on with that pearl of wisdom: they’ll get over it. I thought of all the times I’d been upset with people and had had to get over it, and realized she was right. Even the person whose anger I feared the most would get over it, in time. The first time I said no was hard. I fretted about it and the other person’s reaction for a while. It got easier, though, and now I have no trouble at all.

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The Phantom Stranger
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*Also refer back to the one about not setting yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm.

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#37

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes Let’s pretend that everyone says exactly what they mean. Don’t try to figure out the subtext. Take it at face value. Believe them.

FutureGhost24 , Ketut Subiyanto / pexels Report

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Susie Elle
Susie Elle
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if they don't say exactly what they mean, then that's on them.

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#38

Today my therapist spoke out loud to the “part” of me that is depression, thanked it for doing its best to keep me safe, but that it’s time for a new job now because we’re healing now. We’re working on what that job could be. Maybe reminding me to rest.

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#39

So I was doing behaviroal therapy after I dropped out of college and was listing all the accumulated trauma in my life wich prevents me from motivating myself from doing anything.

My therapist looked at me for a few silent seconds and said "that sounds like a great excuse for being lazy and smoking weed all day"

Turned out I really needed to here that hard truth from someone who was otherwise a very kind and empathetic individual.

It made me realize that I couldn't honor the loss of a loved one by being a lethargic bum and gave me the strength to snap out of my (psychological) weed addiction.

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mandy the capibara
mandy the capibara
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a it is a very mature thing to admit, well done. Acknowledging that someone is helpful to you by permitting you to be kind to yourself is one thing, but acknowledging that someone does a good thing by giving you a loving kick up the bum, and taking some accountability is another.

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#40

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes Think of past me and future me as completely different people. My decisions today don’t affect me. Because the me that makes those decisions will be gone - past me. Future me, a different person, has to live with the consequences. So treat that person with love and respect and don’t put him in bad or awkward situations.

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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great. One more person for me to feel guilty about letting down.

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#41

Would you speak to your son the way you talk to yourself?

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Belandriel
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3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another one I would often like to ask people who behave like a******s: Do you think your parents would be proud of you if they saw what you're doing now?

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#42

The path the nerves laid out for the original pain are well worn highways now. The most minor stimulation in the area will send a small message down this huge highway and make you think it hurts more than it does.

You can train your brain to realize this is happening and practice your mind into believing the pain isn’t as bad as it is, because it really isn’t.

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I love the 80’s
I love the 80’s
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the flip side, the new paths may feel weird and uncomfortable, even though they may help us in the long run. When choosing a different thought or behavior, remind yourself that it only feels bad because your mind is seeking the comfort of the old pattern. I don’t mean to sound preachy, just happy this has worked for me lately and want to share.

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Slowdown
Slowdown
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is word salad to me. I know and understand these words, but not the context they are used in.

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My O My
My O My
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3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can give you an example of me, maybe that helps. Sometimes when I get serious mindfuck (thoughts and emotions racing in vicious circles) on a certain topic I'll cry my heart out to my bestie and then ask her if my feelings are valid or if my f****d up neurons are in control right now

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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've spent a long time setting up road blocks and taking detours. The detours feel natural now.

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#43

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "Depression is in the past. Anxiety is in the future. Stay in the present."

It sounds so simple but really hit hard given what I was going through.

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JD
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People can be anxious or depressed about the past, present, or future. While that's a poetic statement, it's not applicable to everyone.

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#44

"Have you ever considered maybe you're not very good at your job?" She was right. Found a new career.

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#45

That I’m a narcissist. It really helped bring it to light and made it easier to make choices that don’t align with that and helped me be a better person.

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Black Cat
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Would a narcissist care about being a better person? Wouldnt a narcissist already think theyre pretty much perfect. Wouldnt wanting to be a better person require a level of humility a true narcissist would never possess as it's akin to admitting they have faults and weaknesses and aren't entirely superior.

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#46

I told him: "*I'm a good boyfriend, I'm a good employee, I'm a good friend, and I'm a good son. If I can be great at those things, I feel like I would be much happier.*"

He responded: "*A good boyfriend is what you are to your partner, a good employee is what you are to your boss, a good friend is what you are to your friends, and a good son is what you are to your parents. What are you to yourself?"*

Completely changed my perspective on life. I had been so caught up in pleasing everyone around me, that I lost myself in the process.

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The Phantom Stranger
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You can make some of the people happy most of the time, and you can make most of the people happy some of the time, but you can't make everybody happy all of the time. So just focus on yourself." Don't remember who said that, but it's always stuck with me.

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#47

Not my therapist, but my psychiatrist: "There's nothing I can prescribe you to make your job not suck."


Also: "I got my first 1-star review recently, and I thought of you."

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#48

They challenged me to answer why I kept getting into relationships with people who are likely to be enter a co-dependent relationship with me (bad mental health, physical health issues ect). I ended up coming to the conclusion that it’s easier to avoid having to deal with my own issues if I spend my time dealing with somebody else’s.

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#49

This helped me with my mother

She said just because she said it doesn't mean it's true

That set me free

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#50

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes "I believe you"

Most of the time I don't believe me. To have her say that, to be seen as who I am, brought tears to my eyes.

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#51

40 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes *You seem to view all your parenting decisions as needing to be a 100% success. It's okay to make decisions that turn out to be 80% success or 90% success.*

This actually helped me a lot as I was paralyzed with indecision and anxiety any time I had to make a decision that would moderately or significantly impact my kids.

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#52

One thing a therapist once said to me that I’ll never forget is: “You’re allowed to feel how you feel, even if you don’t have all the answers right now.” It stuck with me because I often felt the need to immediately fix or rationalize my emotions instead of just sitting with them. That statement made me realize it’s okay to not have everything figured out and that emotions themselves are valid, even without clear explanations. It was freeing to understand that I didn’t need to solve everything at once.

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Child of the Stars
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the most useful things I've learned is that emotions are never, ever logical or rational. They just kind of...are.

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#53

When I get overwhelmed I get this lump in my throat that feels like it makes me physically unable to speak. I started to get that feeling, and my therapist goes “what’s this? What do you feel here?” And pointed to the bottom of her throat where I have that physical feeling. And it was mind blowing that someone could just see it and understand what I was feeling without me having to say anything. It’s always been so hard to explain my whole life.

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#54

Your husband is a narcissist and you should leave him. I ended up divorcing him within two years of our marriage.

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#55

“you didn’t deserve what you went through as a child and you also don’t deserve to blame yourself for things that happen that are out of your control” burst into tears hearing that

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The Phantom Stranger
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So many victims of childhood abuse think they are somehow to blame. Getting past those emotions even when you understand it intellectually is incredibly difficult. This needs to be higher on the list

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#56

You've come a long way since we met. You used to have your hair over your eyes and never made eye contact. Bless you Helen.

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#57

She said "most of the problems that exist between couples revolve around differing, uncommunicated expectations of the future"

I find it's very accurate.

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Nadine Debard
Nadine Debard
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very accurate indeed. I have untold expectations, so does my husband. When they're not met, we're disappointed and we feel disregarded, not worthy, not loved enough. We need to talk more and be reasonable with our expectations.

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#58

She asked me if I missed family. I responded with “you can’t miss something you never had”

She replied with, “tell that to the little girl inside of you”

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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like to point out you can totally miss ideas or imaginary versions of true people. Some might have read my opinion on posts about grieve. You can miss a person that existed before they changed, the last version of them you knew or the version you wish existed. And all of those are valid.

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#59

My couples counselor when I was doing out 1 on 1 session.

In reference to me stating that I was scared to leave because I thought I couldn't find better. Aka someone who wouldn't abuse me, essentially.

"Her being nice to you, caring for your family, and then that's where it ends, is the bare minimum. You absolutely will find that again, and you deserve to want more."

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The Phantom Stranger
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You deserve to want more." Wow, that's a powerful statement I haven't heard before. "You deserve more" is easy to say but too general to accomplish. "You deserve to want more" puts the agency and the motivation back on the patient. I'm going to have to remember that.

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#60

“Your mind is not your boss; you are the boss of your mind!”

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#61

“You don’t have x, you have y, and that’s a great thing because x means a lifetime of meds, with y- we can work on it. It’ll be bloody difficult, but we can work on things”

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Nea
Nea
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was told- we are glad you dont have multiple diagnosis and just a severe case of OCD (and realted anxiety) we can focus on that. I wS crying too much to even understand. That kind of day.

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#62

I'd been struggling with depression and got referred to a psychiatrist, who didn't really help, all he sort of discovered was a mild fear of flying. After about 6 months, I stopped going. A few months later, still down quite a bit, I went to a councilor - she nailed it in 10 minutes.

She said - You blame your mother for your parents splitting up.

I nearly fell over when I realized she was right.

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Child of the Stars
Child of the Stars
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A psychiatrist isn't a therapist, they're a medical doctor. It's their job to diagnose and treat, not dig deep.

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#63

My most recent therapist: "You're the smartest patient I have, and I'm not sure that's a good thing."

My first therapist though, she was the best. During my first appointment I kinda gave my childhood overview, and at one point she stopped me and went: "...wait wait wait. You're telling me all this, and NO ONE ever told you to go to therapy before?" I was 26 years old and had a really rough childhood emotionally from about the age of six. My folks had a super messy divorce that f****d me up for a while, and my dad didn't "believe in therapy." As he would say later: "I thought if you didn't talk about it then you wouldn't think about it."

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#64

Just today she said "It sounds like you're doing a lot of the hard work on your own. You've been through a lot and you're still trying and I'm in awe of that."

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#65

About my boss who was awful: “When you have to speak with her face-to-face, picture her with enormous yellow clown shoes.”

That advice helped me for two years until I found a better job.

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#66

My therapist accidentally word for word said my definition of love to me without realizing it when pressed for time at the end of a session and trying to explain how to love myself properly. honestly changed my life. made me realize that i wasnt caring for myself as much as I would even a stranger.

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#67

“It’s good to know where you’re at. But it’s even better to know that deep down you have the power to change” it hasn’t happened yet, but I’m trying!

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#68

Paraphrasing as I can't remember the exact wording so much as the fact that I was surprised to see her crying after I finished telling her why I was there: "You just sound so defeated, like you've given up." I was in high school.

Fun fact: I don't remember the incident itself, but I do remember this happening on one other occasion with a different therapist and thinking "I can't believe this has happened to me twice now." (this = witnessing a therapist/counselor crying while I'm awkwardly sitting in their office)

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#69

Once during a crisis i had a therapist literally pour me a glass of wine before noon.

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#70

You only have to worry about the NEXT right thing. One decision at a time.

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Nea
Nea
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3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you hold up next 200 things and decisions that invade your mind simultaneously. I know what I need to do, I just cant.

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#71

"just because everyone in your class pretends to be depressed, that doesn't mean you have to pretend to be depressed too"

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