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45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I have a key fob for my car. It’s set up so that if you hit the lock button once, it locks the car. If you hit the same lock button again, it locks it again and honks the horn so you know you’ve locked it for sure. The thing is, I always want to make super sure that it’s locked, but sometimes I come home to my condo super late, and my parking spot is right under someone else’s window. I noticed that if the key fob was farther away from the car when I hit the button twice, the honk was not as loud. So out of consideration, I would always wait til I was halfway up the stairs to do the double lock honk. What a great neighbor I am!

Anyway, after maybe 2+ years of doing this, one time my girlfriend and I were in my condo and I realized I needed something out of my car. So I go down there but when I get there I realize I had forgotten my keys. Well, I had my phone, so I called my girlfriend and asked if she would stick her arm out the window with the key fob and unlock my car. She mistakenly hit the lock button twice and my car honked. Really loudly! Even though she was all the way up on the third floor!

It was only then I realized...the honk was always the same. It only sounded softer when I was farther away...because I was farther away.

I have a master’s degree...

MisterWonka , Luz Report

Final score:

343points

POST

AzKhaleesi 4 years ago

lmao

101points

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online When I was cleaning out my shed in the back, I stepped on a rake and the pole smacked me in the face. Literally, like the cartoons. It happened three more times before I came up with the bright idea to move the rake.

ceeman77 , pxfuel Report

Final score:

262points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

Shouldn't be laughing but I am laughing

143points

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I once had a brain fart and forgot that porcupines were animals. I was hanging out with my family and my niece mentioned that her favorite animal was a porcupine, and I laughed for a good long time before explaining to her that porcupines weren't animals. I'd gotten them mixed up with pine cones.

I have a graduate degree. My niece was maybe 6 at the time. She schooled me.

Secretlysidhe , Eric Kilby Report

Final score:

254points

POST

AzKhaleesi 4 years ago

That's ok my first fight with my now ex husband was because we were talking about a mongoose. I said I loved them because they reminded me of ferrets which I also love. He said "How does a bird remind you of a ferret?" I asked him to think about that for a minute as I died laughing. He was so mad, he said "I had the bike, it's a bird" I said I did NOT have the bike and it is NOT a bird, just because "goose" is in the name doesn't make it a bird. lmao. I had to google that s**t to a 30+ yo man.

87points

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online My coworker asked if there is lactose in eggs, I thought to myself "they both come from the same animal, so maybe". For 5 seconds, I thought milk came from chickens.

[deleted] , vanessa lollipop Report

Final score:

246points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

lol 🤣

67points

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I wanted to make cookies for my mom that spelled "mom" and I ordered one "o" and two "m" cookie cutters

CichaelMlifford , Didriks Report

Final score:

239points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

At least you will have a spare one

105points

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online Fixing a clogged sink by removing the drain pipe and thoroughly rinsing it underneath the tap of the sink I just removed the drain from.

Amhil , homejobsbymom Report

Final score:

235points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

took me a second

75points

pollypostmormon , Wikimedia Commons Report

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I was sitting in traffic, and I noticed that all the other lanes were moving while mine hadn't budged an inch. I craned my neck trying to see what the hold up was, and finally figured out that I wasn't in a lane at all, but had been patiently waiting behind a line of parked cars.

Final score:

229points

POST

jevais 4 years ago

This one made my day. Very funny.

62points

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I snuck out to do teenagerly things at around midnight and got back at around 4 in the morning. I very slowly, agonizingly slowly, took my keys out of my pocket, selected the correct key, inserted it into the front door lock at a speed of one tumbler per fortnight, rotated it counterclockwise while palming the rest of the keys so as to not let them jingle and successfully unlocked the door. I removed the key from the lock at the same snails pace and put my keys back in my right front pocket. I went to reach for the doorknob and rang the doorbell. That was when I died.

HRHill , Alexa LaSpisa Report

Final score:

221points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

lol, that cracked me up

76points

#10

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online A couple months ago, my husband and I went on a walk. There are a lot of trails where we live and a couple of lakes. So we walked down a trail to the lake, turned left up another trail, and ended up at the top of a street. We start walking down the street and I realize there is a house that has a wishing well in their front yard like we do. I point it out to my husband and then I realize they have the same truck we do, too. I point out the truck and then I realize that we were in front of our own house. It wasn't my brightest moment.

ritathecat Report

Final score:

217points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

lol

45points

#11

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online Wanted to light a candle. Struck a match. Changed my mind about which candle I wanted to light, and decided to light a Yankee jar candle instead. Couldn't get the lid off with one hand. Stuck the lit match in my mouth so I could use both hands to get the lid off.

Couldn't smell the scented candle.

Could only smell singed nose hair for days.

blinky84 , moneycoach Report

Final score:

211points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

Lol. I was laughing so hard

82points

MarilynMonroeVWade , Celsim Junior Report

#12

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online One time I microwaved a single mozzarella stick for 30 seconds. It seemed an appropriate amount of time. When it was done I popped it in my mouth to eat it. It was molton lava hot. As it seared the inner workings of my mandible my brain began screaming "get rid of it!" So I did. By swallowing it. I felt the burn travel down my esophagus and into my stomach. It hurt so bad. It was only made worse by my friend laughing hysterically at me and exclaiming that even dumb dumbs know to spit it out.

Final score:

209points

POST

Maryam Abdur-Rahim 4 years ago

I've done this multiple times.

90points

#13

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I once threw a stone high in the air directly above me. Absolutely no reason for that, just because I could I guess. Instead of walking away, I kept standing there, looking at the stone falling down until it was too late to move. I still managed to put my hands up protecting my head, hurt a lot anyway.

I don't think I'll ever win a Nobel prize.

HerrgottMargott , pikrepo Report

Final score:

203points

POST

P.A.B. 4 years ago

No, but you are right on point for one of those presidential “NOBLE” prizes...good on ya, mate!

62points

AluminiumSandworm , Wikimedia Commons Report

#14

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online one time i was thinking about aqua from Konosuba and i thought "natural blue hair isn't real, but what about blue eyes?"

i have blue eyes

i have blue eyes and i was questioning their existence

Final score:

203points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

lol...

49points

#15

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I locked my car keys in the trunk of my car, hours later when I got my keys out, I proceeded to reenact what happened to my friends, complete with actually locking my keys in the trunk again...

RedCaribou57 , Nick Ledford Report

Final score:

195points

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Maryam Abdur-Rahim 4 years ago

lol

44points

#16

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online While helping my girlfriend make dinner one night we needed some lemon juice and she asked me to squeeze a lemon. Now logic would dictate you cut the lemon in half before you squeeze the juice out of it, but not this brilliant [guy]. No sir! I just squeezed the [hell] out of it, rolling and palming it in my hand until the peel finally broke, releasing the lemon juice into a bowl as requested. Needless to say, when she turned and saw what I had done she was amazed (probably by my impeccable ability to follow orders). She then asked how I ever managed to live alone, and I'm pretty sure that's why I'm not allowed in the kitchen anymore.

robjo8 , RussesEnFr Report

Final score:

191points

POST

Courtney Christelle 4 years ago

I like your girlfriend.

102points

#17

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online Made some soup on the stove in a saucepan and poured it into a bowl and some of the soup dripped down the side of the boiling saucepan so I licked it

Jayes123 , joefoodie Report

Final score:

190points

POST

Suki-Chan 4 years ago

Oop-

83points

Doob 3 years ago

1point

smol doggo 4 years ago

owth my thung

20points

Antonia 4 years ago

I once cooked eggs and poored them in the sink to cool them off with cold water. One of the eggs slided from the pan and I catched it with my hand. Luckily the cold tap was already running .... insert facepalm

9points

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

are you okay?

5points

Stimpy 4 years ago

Ouch

4points

Philly Bob Squires 4 years ago

I put an oven glove on my right hand then reached into the oven and grabbed the pan with my bare left hand. Yeah, I kinda fried it a bit!

3points

YONAH 4 years ago

mmm cooked tongue

2points

rgr8 4 years ago

I am sorry! That must have hurt. Badly.

2points

tuzdayschild 3 years ago

you have my condolences

1point

JustSomebody 4 years ago

Nooooooooo!

1point

Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings 4 years ago

I am sorry for your loss

1point

OpalTheRainwing <3 4 years ago

Ouch 🤕

1point

Elaine Mattingly 3 years ago

You're why somebody invented cold cuts dummy. .

0points

Mark Kelly 3 years ago

Never, ever done that. Accidently grabbed a pan I thought was cool and burned myself a bit.

0points

Fieke Engelen 3 years ago

ouch!!

0points

Elaine Mattingly 3 years ago

Cringe worthy!

0points

Janine Hunt-Jackson 3 years ago

OW!

0points

Lydibug 3 years ago

omg i feel so bad but i laughed to myself because i would probably do that...

0points

NELS HEDMAN 3 years ago

Oooh yummy...

0points

SOPHIA PONDER 3 years ago

wow just wow

0points

Pandana 3 years ago

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

0points

Blue 3 years ago

WOW

0points

Sam T Godfrey 4 years ago

How's your tongue doing these days?

0points

Bettye McKee 4 years ago

Ouch! I felt that!

0points

Sasy 4 years ago

Oh noooooo

0points

Samantha black 4 years ago

Haaaaaa

0points

Jagi Lachance 4 years ago

ouch

0points

Boudewijn van der Mik 4 years ago

Good for you! Waste none! The wounds will heal. eventually.....

0points

Marta Fleter 4 years ago

I know this one. Yeah.

0points

Blue 4 years ago

This one hurts

0points

Jade Lynn 4 years ago

OUCH

0points

Stephanie Did It 4 years ago

ONCE.

0points

aestheticaly_angelic 4 years ago

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oow

0points

s. vitkovitsky 4 years ago

I was baking something and needed to check on it, but I'm smart and got an oven mitt. Then I thought, oh, no, this is the oven mitt for my other hand, and took it off and put on the other one. Bc smart!

0points

I'm a makeup addict 4 years ago

ouch, man..

0points

Go Hawks 4 years ago

Aaggg!

0points

Id row 4 years ago

Oh, man, I felt that one.

0points

Soap 4 years ago

oh no

0points

JoJoReferenceFinder 4 years ago

I could not find a jojo reference in this post.

-2points

Stanley Yen 4 years ago

Good.

0points

#18

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I went my whole life thinking the saying was "the ghost is clear" instead of "the coast is clear". Im 21 just found out yesterday at work lol

JonAnimeRivera , Adam Engelhart Report

Final score:

174points

POST

Stitches 4 years ago

I mean he wasn’t wrong...

88points

#19

I realized this year that pufferfish fill themselves with water when they expand instead of air... I’m 25

Dane_Gleessak Report

Final score:

169points

POST

Sarah 4 years ago

I just now realized that too. At least I'm only 13.

204points

#20

A couple years ago I was moving out of my apartment, so I had the whole place packed up. I had a cold at the time, so I decided to take some alka-seltzer. With all my cups put away, I get the idea that I should just toss the meds in my mouth, and drink out of the sink to wash it down. Well the tabs get stuck in my throat and the water begins activating the meds. I'm sitting there alone in my kitchen, clutching my throat and foaming at the mouth into the sink. I was ashamed I was about to die in the least cool way ever. Luckily they dissolved quickly enough for me to catch my breath and not die.

emerica1184 Report

Final score:

168points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

I'm not sure if I should smack my forehead or be relieved

77points

#21

First day of university I go out to explore the campus, only to find the same odd piece of litter in the corners of multiple buildings, almost seemingly strategically placed. even more oddly, it was the same exact piece of cardboard trash I kept seeing. Strange, but probably just leftovers from an event where the university handed out something stored in them. Upon seeing the 5th or so inproperly disposed of piece of cardboard, I take it upon myself to be a good citizen and properly recycle the misplaced trash. A simple enough task that even I couldn't screw up! I casually walk to the corner, kneel down, pick up the piece of trash and...

I can only imagine what people must've thought after seeing me react to the piece of trash that had somehow outsmarted me, gluing itself onto my skin. I was like a cat with a piece of tape on its paw, flailing wildly, too afraid to scream, the only sound that could be heard was cardboard flippyflaps echoing down the halls.

After the 4th or 5th good swing at the air, the cardboard remained permanently affixed to my skin and I had finally begun to realise what was happening. I, a superior intellect, a student of a well respected university, had been caught.

By a mousetrap. GG.

Siracle Report

Final score:

165points

POST

MauKini 4 years ago

Those things are horrible.

105points

Sloots_and_Hoors , Wikimedia Commons Report

#22

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I frequently see a man cross a four-lane road near my home. We have a fairly similar schedule and I see him often. He's well-known in the neighborhood and he's deaf. NBD.

I once slowed down as he crossed the four lane in driving, white-out, downpour rain and I though to myself, aw man, he doesn't know it's raining because he's deaf.

Final score:

163points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

0_0

40points

#23

Made a cup of coffee, got out a cereal bowl, poured cereal into my coffee, then put the cereal box back in the fridge.

sweetycool76 Report

Final score:

162points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

lol

32points

#24

One morning my vision was all blurry so I started freaking out and called my gramma to take me to the doctor. Then like 20 minutes later realized I just forgot to put my glasses on. I’ve worn them since 1st grade and totally forgot for half an hour.

Final score:

161points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

oh. that's unfortunate

40points

#25

At my company we had the new director of HR come in to talk to a couple hundred people. He started going on and on about how we need to improve ourselves and work on our personal standards.

Then he starts asking questions of the audience as he walks around. He says,

"Does anyone know what the R word is?"

I confidently raised my hand--thinking now is the time to get some easy face time with the new executive.

Exec: "Yes, son?"

Me: "Retard"

The entire place went dead quiet and everyone turned around and looked at me.

Black lady next to me: "Oh lawwwwd...."

Exec: "How about reorganization?"

I actually don't remember what happened past that. But I have a job.

I still have nightmares

BornCavalry Report

Final score:

157points

POST

Sarah 4 years ago

Something like that happened to me. My science teacher was talking about how babies learn words and stuff like that (he gets off topic a lot), so I sort of zoned out, but then I heard him ask, "What is your first word?" and he pointed at me. So I said, "Elmo" thinking that he meant the first word I ever said. Apparently, we were back on topic and talking about the Scientific Process. My friends teased me about it for weeks.

77points

#26

I saw an animal in the woods behind my house and my immediate thought was KANGAROO!

I live in Indiana.

Final score:

156points

POST

pansexualandproud 4 years ago

i did something like that. my dad was watching a nature program and I walked in and said loudly is that a buffalo, it was a bobcat. my dad then called me back into the room later to show me when a real buffalo was on the TV. he had a good laugh about that and I got really embarrassed.

51points

#27

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online A few years ago I googled "do the people upstairs have a cat?" and it has never left me :/

munstre , A4-Nieuws Report

Final score:

153points

POST

Raven 4 years ago

everybody searching up : do the people upstairs have a cat?

93points

#28

Locked myself out of the house and couldn't pick my locks

I'm a locksmith by trade

BurntToast__ Report

Final score:

150points

POST

Thomas Robb 4 years ago

What brand of lock?

49points

#29

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online Three times now, I have taken the cap off of a tube of super glue and put it in my mouth to hold it. Three. Times.

cn2092 , Andrew Gustar Report

Final score:

149points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

Dutch proverb: Even a donkey never hurts himself twice on the same stone.

111points

#30

So this happened a couple days ago, I got home from school tired as hell so I decide to take a nap at around 5:00. Well it turns out to be really deep and when I wake up my clock says 7:50. This freaks me the [hell] out because school starts at 7:20 and I quickly get changed and sprint out to my car to drive to school. As I'm driving there is surprisingly little traffic but I don't think anything of it and I pull up to the school parking lot. It is completely empty and I'm confused as hell so I walk over to two police officers and they inform me that it is actually 8 pm not am and I realize that I probably look like the biggest dumbass around. I just yelled at myself all the way home about how dumb I am.

hrd2beat Report

Final score:

149points

POST

Patti Vance 4 years ago

did this in high school. came home, took a nap. when i woke up my folks were home. dad was still in uniform and mom had her make up on but still in a robe so i thought they were getting ready for work. i rushed to get ready. they asked why - told them. being the pranksters that they are they said...okay. ran out of the house and down the street to where the bus picked up. after a while noticed no other kids out there, it's getting darker and realized what a dumbass i was. walked back into the house with my parents sitting at the table laughing their asses off.

119points

Kuroyukihime_98 , Jeramey Jannene Report

#31

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online Had a biscuit in hand and the ear phone in the other. Put the biscuit in ear and ear phone in mouth. At work. Why must I be such a disappointment.

Final score:

147points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

lol. It's like when I peeled a banana and I threw the banana in the garbage and put the peel into my mouth

119points

evandolajakulater , Nadine Schaeffer Report

#32

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online Once I picked up a lemon, wondered “do lemons bounce?”, and immediately threw it on the ground.

It was the last lemon.

They don’t bounce.

Final score:

146points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

lol

36points

#33

Phoned the police to report my car stolen after being unable to find it after a shopping trip.

As I was on the phone I looked around idly, at which point I spotted my girlfriend's car. I'd borrowed it. Mine was in the garage for an MOT.

thepollitt Report

Final score:

143points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

ohhhhh

37points

Dark_Lord_Melkor101 , Jacqui Brown Report

#34

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online Sent a text to my friend telling him he left his phone with me.

Final score:

139points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

dude...

35points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#35

Was folding laundry one afternoon.

Picked up a white shirt with some faded grey letters, looked very vintage. Had a black collar. I'm looking at this shirt and see the letters are some kind of weird font/ launguage.

It looks like the Elf language from LOTR in font and German lettering, with lots of diaeresis and vaguely familiar letters.

So I'm standing there for like 5 minutes, closely studying this damn shirt trying to figure out WTF language this is, even asking my boyfriend if he knows where he got this shirt (is it a band name? gift from someones vacation overseas?) I mean I'm going crazy trying to figure it out, this familiar yet never before seen language.

Turns out it was an American Eagle shirt inside out...

PM-me-your-downvotes Report

Final score:

124points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

oh, lol

21points

#36

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online Put some hot, boiling sauce into a shot glass to let it cool down for tasting. Do something else for ten seconds. Spot shot glass 'Ah right I wanted to check the taste'. Proceed not to gently suckle on it, but down the still almost boiling, fatty fluid into my mouth like cold vodka.

TheBoldMove , Wikimedia Commons Report

Final score:

118points

POST

Dana Grunwald 4 years ago

Ouch.

43points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#37

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online Worked in kitchens for over a decade. Put a metal pan in the microwave to heat something up.

AemenLeny , HomeSpot HQ Report

Final score:

112points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

uh oh

34points

#38

Couldn't find my glasses. They were on my face.

Also walked into a pole. Not a small pole.

DarkwingLlama Report

Final score:

112points

POST

Kiss Army Premium 4 years ago

Looking for my phone, while talking on the phone...

94points

#39

Told my friend that the 4th of July celebrations must be beautiful at the place we were. We were in Linlithgow, Scotland and I was talking about the palace and loch. Friend is Scottish. For obvious reasons they do not celebrate the 4th of July.

Nopefthis Report

Final score:

111points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

oh, lol

25points

#40

I suspected a roommate of stealing my food from the fridge, so I put a lock on the fridge and freezer door handles. Turns out you can still open both.

Jermbroni Report

Final score:

110points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

lol

18points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#41

I farted while we were spread out sitting on the ground in my gym class. Everyone looked behind towards me and I looked behind me, only to see that I was looking at a wall.

pooka50465046 Report

Final score:

109points

POST

Pink 4 years ago

The wall was very sus tho...

90points

#42

I tried to use a birthday card that I got from my grandparents for my 18th birthday as ID to get into a night club.

wgroenning Report

Final score:

105points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

oh. That's embarrassing

31points

#43

Often when I'm closing a door quickly I will hold the edge of the door rather than the door knob. You may be wondering: "isn't your hand in the way of closing said door then?!" The answer is yes, I have slammed my fingers in doors too many times because I refuse to hold the fucking door knob.

avalxnche Report

Final score:

100points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

ouch. That hurts a lot

29points

#44

“Don’t touch. Wet paint.”

I touch

Final score:

99points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

Everybody touches. It also works with signs like "Don't use" "Don't open" and "Don't switch off."

67points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#45

I was in class one day messing around with my stapler.

"I wonder what'll happen if I staple my finger." *Staples finger."

"Huh. I don't know what I expected."

Edit: I feel I should mention I was 16 when this happened.

XMrCoolWhipX Report

Final score:

95points

POST

Stack o' Pancakes 4 years ago

I was playing with a mini stapler once and thought to myself "be careful you could staple your finger" and then I stapled my thumb. Fun times.

57points

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#46

45 Times People Did Something So Dumb, It Had To Be Shared Online I drove over a mattress

It was in an alley in a puddle, I thought I would glide right over it. Thing got stuck in my tire well, had to call a tow truck to lift my car and beat it out with a hammer. Next morning found that it had punctured my front left tire and had to get a new one. Did another dumb thing by thinking I get a whole new wheel not just tire so ditched my wheel by the dumpster and then drove to the garage on a flat spare only to be sent home to get my wheel also.

It was a bad day or two

doppz1 , Marufish Report

Final score:

39points

POST

Logan Cheng 4 years ago

story of my life, tell me about it. I go to school only to realize that i dont have my essay that i spent 3 hours on, tell my teacher i dont have it, resumes class, after class in next period, realize it was in my bag the whole time and have to turn it in for late credit

10points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#47

Went to a bank to withdraw money. Bank teller asked me how I would like it and I said: "in cash". Bank teller just stared at me, while my friend is dying of laughter. Meanwhile, I stand not understanding the issue.

extrmden7 Report

Final score:

38points

POST

Henry Cheves 4 years ago

I not understand the issue still.

22points

#48

I saw a bear in the woods and panicked so I threw food at it.

Mew16 Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Bridget Price 4 years ago

this sounds like something I would do XD

16points

#49

I've lived at my house for half a decade and I still get mixed up on which way the key goes in the front door. I'm starting to wonder if I should get tested.

ShoddyBiscotti1 Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Loveyiii 4 years ago

I have had my Subaru Outback for 7 years and still can't get the wipers to do what I want them to do on the first try.

16points

#50

I’m waiting in an airport in a foreign (to me) country right now. This is my second time in the airport and my third booked flight. The first one I was reading a book at the gate and didn’t notice everyone leaving (how?!) I watched that plane moving down the runway and wondered how long until I would be boarding. I rebooked the flight for the next day, but accidentally booked the wrong one and it left while I was sleeping peacefully at my hotel. I’m a bit nervous about this third one tbh.

Glitter_berries Report

Final score:

34points

POST

HighDesertArtist 4 years ago

Hahaaa! My husband and I sat down for lunch at a cafe within view of our gate so we wouldn’t miss our flight. We proceeded to watch it board, then taxi away from the gate before we realized THAT was our flight. The worst part is neither of us clued in the whole time! Fortunately they were able to put us on the next flight an hour later.

25points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#51

Stayed at an Air BnB this weekend. It took me a full 2 minutes to figure out how to get the water to come out of the shower head instead of the lower spout.

I was pulling, pushing, twisting, bopping, and man handling every surface of that bath hardware until i figured out you just pull down on the tip of the spout.

I took that shower in shame.

Saturn_5_speed Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Kari Panda 4 years ago

Have no shame, it‘s generally agreed upon that figuring out an unknown shower is a nightmare ^^

44points

#52

Until I was 16 I thought that dark meat and white meat came from different turkeys

Thatjewish_guy Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Philly Bob Squires 4 years ago

Just like chocolate milk comes from brown cows...

5points

#53

A few years ago i could not figure out if the new electric stove was on or off. I was familiar with flame stoves so i stuck my hand flat on the heating coil. My hand had burnt circular stripes all over it. The stove was hot.

kim77angle Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Zoe's Mom 4 years ago

Sprinkle water on it. It sizzles, it's hot.

23points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#54

Every elevator going down in a busy NYC hotel was already full of people so I decided to go up. When I got to the final floor I accidentally got out of the elevator instead of just staying put.

mlw72z Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Franek Mierzwiński 4 years ago

Some 30 years ago i was visiting Paris. There were three doors in the wall where i supposed to be the elevators. I waited and waited and finally run out of patience, so i knocked the door hard. The door opened and a guy with a telephone receiver in one hand asked me to be more quiet.

12points

#55

I took the wrong train to get back home and didn't realize it until i had already sat in it for more than half an hour. Twice. It was the same wrong train that leaves a few minutes before the train i wanted to take. I used to commute the exact same route for years.

A one-hour drive took me five hours until i got home. When i realized that i was sitting in the wrong train AGAIN, I cried.

Final score:

30points

POST

Romenriel 4 years ago

And that's why I always obsessively check if I am in correct train. But I did different dumb thing. I was taking train home and I was reading. It was already final part of my journey, last twenty minutes before the station I was supposed to get off. Then I suddenly realized the train is stopping. Oh, crap! I took all off my things in a hurry, run for the door, opened it... and there was no platform. The train was not in the station yet. I almost run out of train in the middle of nowhere.

18points

#56

I had a key ring which was this little piece of plastic with paper inside. I wrote my address on it incase I lost my key.

Final score:

28points

POST

Mya Lugar 4 years ago

Nothing funny about this. I am a senior, BEGINNING to forget some. I went to a pet store and bought a "dog tag" that you can print front/back on the machine. On one side I printed FOUND MY KEYS, and on the other printer my cell phone number and the words "Thank you" It has already saved my bacon 2-3 times. (attached to my key ring)

21points

#57

I couldn't find a colander when the pasta was done, but I found the thing you use to steam vegetables (there's no handle on these). So I held the thing over the sink, and poured boiling water directly onto my hand.

PM_me_duck_pics Report

Final score:

28points

POST

BoredPanda is awesome 4 years ago

ouch!

6points

#58

I used to boil eggs in my kettle, one time an egg cracked so I had to clean it out. To see if the water was ‘eggy’ afterwards I decided to smell the steam as it came out...

Immensely_British Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Maryam Abdur-Rahim 4 years ago

Once i was hungry so i decide to make myself some soup. I pick up the soup container and pour some into my bowl. I look at the soup and think "this looks different than before." My brother walks into the kitchen and laughs. That's when i noticed that it was vegetable broth not soup.

10points

#59

Am a doctor. Can't read clocks.

ajconway Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Logan Cheng 4 years ago

you should see a doctor about tha... oh wait

12points

#60

Trying to drive on a long trip (Austin to San Diego) when I knew I was tired.

Kept thinking "I'm almost there... I can make it." Opened the windows, sang heavy metal at the top of lungs, pinched myself painfully. Then hit traffic just about twenty miles from my destination. Woke up passing cars going about 10 mph on the shoulder.

Then made the same mistake a couple years later driving to SD from Seattle in one stretch. Dozed off going about 60 down the 5 in LA at about 4am. Fortunate to wake up before going off the road or hitting one of the few other cars.

No joke how fast it can creep up on you from thinking you have got things under control to realizing just how quickly your body will shut down.

joIIyswagman Report

Final score:

-29points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

So almost killing yourself once by falling asleep behind the wheel wasn't enough? That's an unsurpassable level of stupid.

63points

Neringa is a proud writer at Bored Panda who used to study English and French linguistics. Although she has many different interests, she's particularly drawn to covering stories about pop culture as well as history. While not at the office, this Panda enjoys creepy movies, poetry, photography and learning how to play the piano.

Read less »

Share your most memorable “I can’t believe I’m this dumb” moment

POST

kjorn 4 years ago

sometime when i'm in my car and i cross another car going the other direction i just wave at them. it's just makes me laugh thinking that the driver gonna spend few minutes trying to know how the F i am :-)

20points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

I love this! People do this to me sometimes and I’m always thrown off like “huh, wuh, do I know them?” Lol. Nice one.

0points

Dianne DeSha 4 years ago

I love ice cream pies. I always get one for my birthday. One year my wife and I were slowly eating at one over the course of several days, but it kept getting more and more melty. But everything else in the refrigerator was staying nicely cold. WTH? We both have college degrees. We were in our 30s. I'd done this many times before. It still took us 2 days between us to realize the ice cream would melt less if we put it, you know, in the _freezer_.

16points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Is it just a pie crust with ice cream inside? Or do you mean ice cream cake?

1point

Vicki Donaldson 4 years ago

After a hurricane took out our electricity, I went out to get some hot coffee. When I got back I realized we had a gas stove!

12points

A W 4 years ago

Sat for a while wondering what kind of animal Mickey Mouse is. "Is he a bear, is he a dog, is he an aardvark or is he just some fictional animal that doesn't exist in real life?" Decided on bear before realizing Mickey MOUSE 🤦

6points

bslade 3 years ago

A W +

0points

Ryan Gambrell 4 years ago

I once thought I had something in my beer so I closed one eye, peered into the bottle with the other. It was dark, so I tipped the bottle up to the light and dumped 10 or so ounces of beer directly into my eye.

6points

scarlex 3 years ago

Ryan Gambrell like

0points

Nadine Bamberger 4 years ago

A friend of my dad invited him to a "coffee Togo" and my dad asked me if I knew what kind of beverage or coffee shop that is and I legit googled it before realizing the friend meant a coffee to go.

4points

BusLady 4 years ago

I once put an egg in a bowl of water and popped it in the microwave. Bang! I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard it.

4points

Lauren Caswell 4 years ago

Well now I know not to try that, it's totally something I would assume works!

2points

Charlotte A. 4 years ago (edited)

Last week, my sister visited. It was kind of stressful and she and her kids were staying at a hostel (my place is small), and late at night I had to rush over there with bed linens because apparently she got the wrong room. When I went back home I was so tired I could barely walk straight; I get into my building, get the keys up, and stare dumbly at the door. "Why the hell did someone change the name on my door while I was out!?" (Took me a while to realise I was at the wrong door...)

4points

Serbob 4 years ago

I had an issue with a piece of equipment. I took a picture of the serial number with my cellphone and called the company's support line. When they asked for the serial number I told them to hang on because I took a picture of it and then promptly went into a complete panic because I couldn't find my phone to retrieve the image.

4points

pakuka 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Smitten Kitten 4 years ago

A friend of mine sometimes struggles to remember the names of things. One time after getting more and more frustrated, she blurted out "you know - that thing, the library for plates" while desperately pointing at a cupboard!

4points

Makayla Rhodes 4 years ago

Once I forgot what the drain plug was called and called it “the water go downer stopper thingy” Another time I was making macaroni with hot dogs, and while I was slicing the hotdogs the water started boiling. First time I’ve ever cooked using the stove by the way. So I started freaking out that the water boiling too long would ruin it. So I asked, “what happens if I burn the water”

1point

Marnie 4 years ago

I was trying to get a projector to work at my office. I bent down and looked directly into the lens about a foot or two away then did something that got it to work. Those lights are VERY bright. I couldn't even see out the one eye for about 6 hours.

3points

nala simba 4 years ago

When newly married, I put on a saucepan of oil for chips, but forgot all about it. I guess my husband must have switched it off, but to make certain, I dipped my finger in to check! (Only once, mind!)

3points

Strangepotato 4 years ago

This story reminds me of a time I found a wobbly coatrack and stepped on the base to see what would happen. The pole hit me in the face and I thought I broke my nose. Nice to know I'm not the only idiot.

3points

Marnie 4 years ago

One time I realized I had started the microwave with a fork still on the plate. So, I stopped the microwave. But that wasn't good enough for me. The rule is you're not supposed to put metal in the microwave. So I grabbed immediately to remove it from the microwave. It was scorching hot. Got blisters.

2points

Makayla Rhodes 4 years ago

I have a friend who put their retainer in the microwave on accident. It was a mix of melted plastic and very hot metal.

1point

Syra 3 years ago (edited)

Just the other day I was on a call with a friend and they went "Oh no my goldfish!" As she started telling me she had dumped her bowl of goldfish onto her bed. And I screamed "Save them!!" And she just laughed because she thought I was joking. I freaked out and asked if they were still alive, then she stopped laughing, and said "They're the snack. NOT THE REAL THING" I realized I am a huge idiot sometimes. I thought she had dumped her pet fish out on her bed on accident (She doesn't have a pet fish either)

1point

Sue R 3 years ago

I was home making my mother a salad. I started by putting the entire head of lettuce under a running faucet. As it was literally filling with water, I was thinking something is off about how I was washing the lettuce. But I don't buy iceberg lettuce so I kept going. My mother was watching and asked me if I knew what I was doing. She instructed me to place the lettuce on the counter, stem side down, and then to hit it. Hit it? Yes, hit it. So, I wound up and came in with a devastating right hook, right at the water-logged head of lettuce. Immediately upon impact, I realized that she meant hit the lettuce on the counter so that the stem is knocked loose and it becomes easier to wash.

1point

8starbella8 3 years ago

Sue R no

-1point

pusheen buttercup 3 years ago

I wondered once if something was hot, then touched it.... Also my significant other once wondered if a cactus was sharp, and touched it. Clearly, we are made for each other.

1point

John Baker 4 years ago

Anyone can have the occasional brain fart, but let's be honest. There's some serious stupid going on in some of these stories.

1point

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

Reading these makes me feel better about the times the Stupid Fairy has gotten to me. Like the time I couldn'remove my keys from the ignition or start my car, so I called AAA. The man arrived and simply put my transmission in Park. I humbly said, "Please hand me my 'Stupid' button." I do give him credit for being empathic rather than snarky.

1point

jay_28 3 years ago

John Baker follower

0points

lammemineshaft 3 years ago

John Baker +

0points

David Cumberland 4 years ago

One day I asked my wife if she had seen my cell phone. I’m running all over the house for at least 15 minutes trying to find my damn phone. Finally, my dear wife asked me if I was using our land line as I had called her at work. I said no,........I was using my cell phone.

1point

Makayla Rhodes 4 years ago

Done that too many times

0points

DinaFelice 4 years ago

My family moved from NYC to the suburbs. My dad had to go to work, so my poor mother was stuck trying to make lunch for my brother (5) and me (9) when we were being complete nuisances. She realizes the benefit of being in the nice, safe suburbs is that she can send us outside for a few minutes so she can finish assembling lunch in peace. So she tells us to walk around the block, then come back in. We complain, but go. After 10 minutes, we're still not back. 15, 20, 25 minutes and mom is increasingly panicking, eventually calling the police. We return just as the police car is pulling up. So what happened? Turns out that in the suburbs (as opposed to the city) not all houses are on 'blocks'. When we went out, we walked for 3/4 mile, reached a fenced-off field, and had to turn back... It was literally impossible to walk around the block. And had mom attempted to retrace our steps (rather than just panicking and calling the police), she would have realized what happened and found is soon

1point

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

“Assembling” lunch is such a weird way of putting it. I hate the way people say “prepared a meal.” I think “assembling lunch” is going to have to join it. It sounds corny somehow.

0points

Cori 4 years ago

My mom left an iron out when I was a kid. I wanted to know if it was hot. I knew if I touched it with my finger and it WAS hot, it would hurt. So what did I do? I touched it with the tip of my nose. **Spoiler alert.** It was hot.

1point

Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 4 years ago

My step dad 30 years ago was ironing. He was a joker. Always having fun and kidding around. He said hey touch this hot iron to the tip of your tongue it won't burn be at your tongue is wet. I was like 11 and said no, you do it. He did. He had a triangle burn on his tongue for over a week.

0points

FurryPotatoCat 4 years ago

hilarious! more please!

1point

Chich 4 years ago

In my defence it is partly due to the fact I don't like them but I was into my 20s before I realized that cucumbers and pickles were somehow related.

1point

lee3320 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

ガルシアモニカ 3 years ago (edited)

I misplaced my mobile phone somewhere in the house, so I called it using the landline so that I can locate it. After hearing it ring in a different room, I rushed to it and quickly answered my mobile phone since it was ringing. I said hello a couple of times before I realized that I was the one who's calling it.

0points

Abby Parker 3 years ago (edited)

My boss and I were trying to figure out what you do with a ship. You don’t drive it. Pilot wasn’t right either. Do you captain it? It was almost two days later when my boss had the epiphany. SAIL. You SAIL a ship 🤣

0points

Caroline 3 years ago

Me and my dad were driving to town where one road is closed. There's a large sign that says "road ahead closed" which you can't miss. We drove straight past it and didn't think about turning around until we got to the road barrier

0points

nala simba 4 years ago

I never worry about making a hot drink in a PowerCut! So, I won't be able to use the kettle. No problem. I'll use the Microwave instead! Duh.....

0points

rgr8 4 years ago

I have a problem with boiling empty tea kettles, or a tea kettle with a tablespoon of water. This has happened multiple times, yet I still don't bother to check the kettle before boiling.

0points

POST

kjorn 4 years ago

20points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

I love this! People do this to me sometimes and I’m always thrown off like “huh, wuh, do I know them?” Lol. Nice one.

0points

Dianne DeSha 4 years ago

16points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Is it just a pie crust with ice cream inside? Or do you mean ice cream cake?

1point

Vicki Donaldson 4 years ago

After a hurricane took out our electricity, I went out to get some hot coffee. When I got back I realized we had a gas stove!

12points

A W 4 years ago

6points

bslade 3 years ago

A W +

0points

Ryan Gambrell 4 years ago

6points

scarlex 3 years ago

Ryan Gambrell like

0points

Nadine Bamberger 4 years ago

A friend of my dad invited him to a "coffee Togo" and my dad asked me if I knew what kind of beverage or coffee shop that is and I legit googled it before realizing the friend meant a coffee to go.

4points

BusLady 4 years ago

I once put an egg in a bowl of water and popped it in the microwave. Bang! I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard it.

4points

Lauren Caswell 4 years ago

Well now I know not to try that, it's totally something I would assume works!

2points

Charlotte A. 4 years ago (edited)

4points

Serbob 4 years ago

4points

pakuka 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Smitten Kitten 4 years ago

4points

Makayla Rhodes 4 years ago

1point

Marnie 4 years ago

3points

nala simba 4 years ago

3points

Strangepotato 4 years ago

3points

Marnie 4 years ago

2points

Makayla Rhodes 4 years ago

I have a friend who put their retainer in the microwave on accident. It was a mix of melted plastic and very hot metal.

1point

Syra 3 years ago (edited)

1point

Sue R 3 years ago

1point

8starbella8 3 years ago

Sue R no

-1point

pusheen buttercup 3 years ago

I wondered once if something was hot, then touched it.... Also my significant other once wondered if a cactus was sharp, and touched it. Clearly, we are made for each other.

1point

John Baker 4 years ago

Anyone can have the occasional brain fart, but let's be honest. There's some serious stupid going on in some of these stories.

1point

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

1point

jay_28 3 years ago

John Baker follower

0points

lammemineshaft 3 years ago

John Baker +

0points

David Cumberland 4 years ago

1point

Makayla Rhodes 4 years ago

Done that too many times

0points

DinaFelice 4 years ago

1point

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

“Assembling” lunch is such a weird way of putting it. I hate the way people say “prepared a meal.” I think “assembling lunch” is going to have to join it. It sounds corny somehow.

0points

Cori 4 years ago

1point

Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 4 years ago

0points

FurryPotatoCat 4 years ago

hilarious! more please!

1point

Chich 4 years ago

In my defence it is partly due to the fact I don't like them but I was into my 20s before I realized that cucumbers and pickles were somehow related.

1point

lee3320 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.