We all know that certain things on this list are good for us: exercising daily, eating healthy, taking walks, avoiding conflicts with strangers on the internet, etc. But as with anything else in life, developing healthy habits is easier said than done. We can decide that we want to cook more meals at home to save money, but executing that plan does not happen overnight. Humans are creatures of habit, and to develop a new routine, we usually have to disrupt our current one.

There is a widely held belief that it takes about 21 days to break a habit, as Dr. Maxwell Maltz claimed that most people need about three weeks to get accustomed to a new home, new facial features from a plastic surgery operation, or losing a limb due to amputation. This three-week rule does not always apply though, as getting used to something new is not necessarily the same as kicking a habit you have had for years, like smoking cigarettes or eating processed sugar every day.  

If you are really interested in breaking a habit to make room for a new one, there is unfortunately no perfect timeline to follow. There are various factors coming into play like how long you have had the habit for, how often you do it, what rewards you receive from it, whether other behaviors or those around you enable the habit, and what your motivation is for stopping. For example, quitting drinking will be a lot harder if your partner has a glass of wine every evening, and your plans with friends always involve alcohol.

Some research from the University College London even suggests that a more realistic gauge of how long breaking a habit will take is about 10 weeks. Don’t let that discourage you though; sustainable changes take time. Be patient with yourself and implement small changes first. If you want to reduce your sugar intake, for example, do not go cold-turkey. Begin by banning sugary drinks and/or candy from your household. Then slowly work up to cutting out baked goods and frozen desserts as well. If you are torturing yourself, your changes are not likely to stick.

On the bright side, it is typically much easier to develop a new habit than to break an old one. So after you finish this list and are feeling inspired, start making arrangements to do at least one chore every day or find a therapist that suits your needs. While all changes take time to get used to, picking up a new hobby or healthy habit that improves your life will always be worth it. For tips on how to get started, I consulted James Clear’s blog post “How to Build a New Habit: This is Your Strategy Guide”.

His first recommendation is to “start with an incredibly small habit”. He notes that often we assume that we lack the willpower to achieve a goal, but willpower is just a muscle that we need to strengthen. If you have a goal of doing 50 pushups per day, for example, remember that is your goal. You can start out doing 5 a day. Then maybe 10 the next week. There is no reason to rush when it makes a small habit seem unattainable. 

Once a very small habit has been developed, James recommends increasing it by 1% every day. “Rather than trying to do something amazing from the beginning, start small and gradually improve,” he writes. “Along the way, your willpower and motivation will increase, which will make it easier to stick to your habit for good.” Once you have built up a habit, James notes that it is important to keep your goals reasonable to maintain momentum. Don’t be afraid to break up your 20 minutes a day of meditation into two 10 minute chunks or your 50 pushups into 5 sets of 10. It is much better to have manageable goals then to become overwhelmed and throw in the towel altogether.  

Inevitably, there will be a few moments where you slip up or fall out of your routine. Life just gets in the way sometimes, with things like injuries, family emergencies, and holidays disrupting our plans. James writes, “Rather than trying to be perfect, abandon your all-or-nothing mentality.” Nobody is perfect, so your aim should be consistency. Don’t beat yourself up for falling off track on occasion, just continue along as normal. Lastly, James says to be patient and “stick to a pace you can sustain”. Long-lasting changes do not happen overnight, so don’t give into the temptation of letting impatience discourage you. If you really want to develop a sustainable habit, there are no shortcuts, but the effort will be worth the reward. 

While reading this list, you might be realizing that your life could stand to have some improvements too. It is important to appreciate what you have and find a way to be content wherever you are, but there is nothing wrong with a little self-reflection. Maybe you’re realizing that a healthy habit you once had disappeared somewhere along the line over the past few years. Somehow that 6am daily workout got phased out of your life after taking on a new job or moving farther away from your gym. It is easy to slip into a routine on autopilot and forget that we have the power to make changes, however, making an effort to set and work towards goals is a great way to bring motivation and excitement to our lives.  

Professor of Psychology Leslie Riopel wrote a piece for Positive Psychology titled “The Importance, Benefits, and Value of Goal Setting” that breaks down the reasons why we should all have aspirations. She notes that it is normal for our goals to change over time as we get older and develop our priorities, but they are still important to have so that our lives don’t become stagnant. It’s easy to feel aimless or meaningless when we don’t have anything to look forward to. But when we set goals, particularly very specific ones, we have something driving us. According to research in goal-setting theory by Edward Locke,  “Over 90% of the time, goals that were specific and challenging, but not overly challenging, led to higher performance when compared to easy goals or goals that were too generic such as a goal to do your best.” It is assumed that we all want to be happy, do our best, etc, but not everyone wants to run a marathon in the next year or get a promotion at work before their next birthday. Set your sights on goals specific to you.

Goal-setting can also be an important factor in taking care of our mental health. Riopel writes that, “Goal setting has been shown to help improve the outcome in treatment, amongst studies done in adults with depression.” Battling depression can take a huge toll on an individual, but by setting goals in treatment, like slowly implementing routines including taking a daily walk or cleaning their apartment, patients can feel proud of what they accomplish and more motivated to keep fighting. Their goals can be reminders that their lives can get better, slowly but surely. One study even found that patients who participated in goal-setting exercises were more willing to accept a mental health referral, which can be crucial to improving their health.