Hate me if you want. I am too lazy to be bothered!

"Believe in" is not the same as "worship"!

Subtle. 😚

Literally! Ya go girl :D

I successfully woke up this morning without safety hazards

Thanks for the Edit. I would have been really confused!

My atheist gf usually yells "Stop looking at Bored Panda while we're having sex!"

Dum tsh!

Tbh, there are museums that have entire rooms from temples back then. If it was possible to steal the pyramids, it would’ve happened

With my luck that guy would be me

excellent for emergency outdoor weeing

Same dude.. same..

Some people need to get abortion because of a miscarriage or the baby is in the wrong area and if it continues to grow the mother and the baby will die. That’s why getting rid of abortion is ridiculous

I have I gut feeling that Jessica’s dad is NOT amused about that comment 🙂

With his money, I guess he doesn't feel he has to give a...

Oh no I cannot unsee this

excellent talent

He has a way with words.

He lives in a very gated community.

When I was a kid I read a book about a girl who thinks her divorced mother could do with a new man in her life, so she poses as her and writes into a lonely hearts column. Soon she's set up a pen pals relationship with this guy who sounds awesome (he has his own rose garden!), but then there's a big twist were it turns out he's actually an inmate. I forget how it ended, but I think the title was "Mum, I've Got Something To Tell You" or something like that.

He is technically correct. The best kind of correct.

But did he lie though? They accused him of all kinds of things, just not lying.

Joke so old it knew Moses!

What not to like? Free accommodation, free food, 24 hrs security surveillance and no pesky HOA to deal with.

Did he also mention the multiple trained, armed, dedicated guards?

He was honest

impressive what did you do

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer! And yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question. This is a classic example.

Mission work is quite possibly the most useless or even destructive, yet apparently highly regarded occupation I can think of.

A+ for ingenuity.

The "Children of Wealthy Parents Entrepreneur Starter Pack" consists of: - a house with garage, paid for by parents - a substantial "loan" - access to parent's connections - the knowledge that failure will not leave you destitute on the street, or even having to contemplate sleeping in said garage

I mean he's not wrong

Lol that's hilarious

In Australia we have prime ministers and I can’t remember the current ones name right now

That would’ve taken me so long

But think of how ripped you’d be if you had meth everyday instead of a cheeseburger every day. I mean both would probably wreck your heart, but at least you’d look thin in the casket and you don’t have to worry about all those cumbersome teeth

Sounds terribly romantic. 🥰

Yes, almost impossible. I feel for you!

Technically, this is using food AND a map!

Insulin... oh

Well, you chose how to phrase the question.

In my case, it's glasses 🤓

Yeah, I'd have problems with his grammar too

Thank you for providing evidence. Catch you later.

Fair enough

#SELFIE WITH HALF THE STADIUM!!!

Well then

🤟

Obviously with a note that says "I wanna nail you."

It says "A president" not "YOUR president".

It's like the other planets aren't even trying

A. 2024 ... It does not say zeros, or fours!

Aren't the cops insulting themselves with that response?

I don't get it