Say please and thank you. Make eye contact when having a conversation. Respect other people’s personal space. And please, never ever speak loudly on your phone when in a small, shared space.
Social norms are incredibly powerful. They let us know that we might not want to speak and behave the same way around our bosses that we do around our best friends, and they help us travel via public transit without infuriating all of our fellow passengers. There are plenty of unspoken rules that make our lives simpler, but there might be some that you disagree with as well. Just because society tells you something is right or wrong doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to question it.
Reddit users have recently been sharing examples of things society considers to be bad that are actually perfectly normal, so we’ve gathered a list of their most spot-on responses below. From circumstances we all experience to harmless behaviors that shouldn't carry any moral weight, this list is full of reminders that sometimes society’s rules are just arbitrary. Enjoy devouring this food for thought, and don't forget to upvote the replies featuring things you’d like to normalize as well!
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Assisted suicide. If your pet does not have a good prognosis your vet will recommend putting them to sleep. Why do we make humans suffer to the bitter end? Sure, we give them medicine to make them comfortable, but why extend that timeframe if they nothing left to do? They made their will, they said goodbye, now they wait and run up a bill for their family to pay?? If you have terminal illness, you should be able to die with dignity.
Doing nothing with my free time.
I work and have chores. When I don't have those things, I don't feel like hiking or scuba diving or anything.
I want to do nothing. Leave me alone.
Absolutely! People are saying I need to get a hobby, but I really need to do nothing sometimes. My free time is just a few ours monthly, so no hobbies are worth it 😃
A lot of people are quick to call you "fake" if you're polite to those you dislike.
It's not being fake, it's being civil.
YES! Just because I don't like someone doesn't mean I will be rude to them!
Not having kids if you don't want them.
Having kids you don't want is bad.
Completely agree. Yet, people think that we, who don't have children, are considered selfish. Having children is not for everybody.
Abortion
Fewer children born into poverty or in situations where they aren’t wanted is a net positive. It’s actually been proven that abortion lowers crime.
I can't believe they made it illegal in the States, that's madness! If you make it illegal it will just go underground and women will die. It happened in the past and will happen again. Woman deserve the have the choice about what happens to their bodies
In my experience, some people see not being close with your family as a red flag. Not sure why. Like, sorry? I didn't get to pick my family. Lol.
Being able to identify toxic people and cutting them out of your life before their abuse break you down, can be a major green flag, and a true sign of strength as it is not an easy thing to do.
Waking up late. But getting a few more hours sleep is far more beneficial than some YouTube hustler saying you should wake up at 5 am for no reason.
I'm on board on sleeping-in. I like my sleep, and if I don't have to be anywhere/somewhere, what's the point of getting-up so early?
Admitting you don't know something.
Mental health care. People want to pretend if you just ignore mental health problems, they will go away. Does cancer go away if you ignore it?
I will just shove my mental problems under this rug. What I don't see doesn't exist, right?
Cultural appropriation. The spread of a culture to people groups who are outside the originating culture is a good thing.
As long as they aren’t mocking or insulting the people and their culture, there shouldn’t be a problem
Talk about your salary. This literally just exist so that the working class doesn't talk about unbalanced wages and starts to question their bosses
Pssssstttt Americans: It’s actually illegal for companies to forbid you from talking about your salary. Violates your right to Unionize or something obscure.
Using social services. It is what they are there for, and you helped pay for them.
Men having emotions
Men having emotions other than anger, women being angry or being unemotional. It's like men are only allowed to be either angry or unemotional and women must feel some feelings but it must not be anger.
Being lazy, there is nothing wrong with spending the whole weekend just playing video games and watching movies! As long as you don't neglect your kids or pets during that time who cares what you did on the weekends or after work!
I guess if you don't live with anyone else and you aren't neglecting other responsibilities that you have, then there's nothing wrong with it.
sex education for people younger than the age of expected sexual activity
Some girls get their period at 8 or 9. Should at least start teaching kids about puberty then. Even if one kid starts puberty later, they will be around kids who go through it earlier and all kids should know about it.
I hadnt' my period at 8 but I discovered that "that zone" could give pleasure at 9 or 10... So is better to educate than not
Load More Replies...Also, everyone should be told about periods. Even if you'll never get one, you might be friends or lovers with someone that will. Everyone should know.
This. Somewhere in your life you are going to be exposed to a period one way or another.
Load More Replies...Not teaching kids about consent only benefit those who want to abuse them
People misunderstand what sex ed can be for kids and think it's about teaching children "how to" have sex, when in reality for young children it's more about consent and respecting theirs and each other's bodies.
Load More Replies...Kids are exposed to s**t waaaay younger these days they need to at least know what consent is and a healthy relationship looks like at a primary school age so they can identify if they need help
I talked to my kids in age appropriate ways since they were little. Explaining that, these things were for grown ups to do with each other. That grown ups aren't allowed to do them with kids, and even if someone is nice, they are really a bad guy if they do those things to kids. And, if they say they will hurt you or hurt me, don't believe them. They will go to jail. There are good guys there that will deal with the bad guy.
God forbid our children should understand the basics of human biology...
My take is: If they ask, answer the question. Correctly, but with no more details than they were looking for. This way they can grow into knowing at their pace and no one needs to have an awkward special talk.
I mean you're right, but I've never understood why the "special" talk is so awkward. It's nothing that special ffs, just a normal damn thing.
Load More Replies...We teach kids about safe driving before they get behind the wheel. How is this any different?
I was lucky to be young at a golden time when we were given factual information. Plus I grew up with a set of encyclopedias in the house with a medical reference book. I loved the layered colored plates of the human body.
I've never met a farm kid who didn't know about sex at a very, very young age. Sexual activity is everywhere on a farm. You see it, then you go about your chores.
I'm beginning to feel like they should switch gears and teach Intimacy Education because kids have such easy access to adult material now and think that's what sex is really all about. They don't understand that it's all acting. I grew up with my brother sneaking looks at art books and National Geographic, lol
Absolutely!!!! I actually talked to my boys about this and how they shouldn't base their expectations on what they may see online because its all fake. Those aren't representations of the normal population, male or female. All women will not look that way, nor will they writhe in pleasure just because you look at them. All men will not be endowed that way, nor is it necessary.
Load More Replies...I have an aunt who taught her kid everything-literally everything, when he was 3 and she got pregnant with his younger brother. It does make sense to learn about it young enough, but three year olds don't really have brakes on their tongues and it definitely comes out at the wrong times. Of course, everyone should do as they see fit for them, but as for me, I'd say the right age is like 8/9 and maybe earlier for girls bc they develop faster?
Sex ed is about teaching kids boundaries,friendship,what is ok what is not ok etc..
Doesn't need to go into graphic detail But I'm quite happy that I learned about period and how children are made while still in elementary school Otherwise I might have had an heart attack since I got into puberty early, before we got into more detail in the next school
As Clinton's Surgeon General said; age appropriate. A 7 year old doesn't need the play by play of how babies are made, but s/he should know when s/he's being inappropriately touched.
Teaching children from birth the correct terminology for their genitals and sexual organs. It reduces the risk of missed/ misunderstandings in cases of abuse.
I'm 70 yoa and absolutely knew what to expect! EVERYONE should know, and understand, what happens to us and to others, in order to understand what our biology and hormones can create. There should be no surprises!
We did a puberty talk pretty young, late elementary (I don't remember exactly) then they went into more detail about STDs and stuff in junior high.
This is quite vague.. what is the age of expected sexual activity? And how much younger? Doing sex education class at children of 6 years old would be pointless as they have no clue what you are talking about. Sex education should be introduced at age when people are getting into puberty not earlier.
I have very mixed opinions about this topic. While I understand the points of why it's necessary, I can't help but remember the horror and trauma it was for me, as someone who had an unresolved sex trauma and was queer (despite not knowing back then). Rationally I know most kids won't feel the same, but I wish there was the option to be excused from these classes, for the people that may need it. (From what I've seen on American books and movies I'd guess some places have that option, but my country doesn't).
Politicians changing their minds when presented with new information.
Failing. Failing does not mean you are a failure. Just means you tried something and it didn't work out right. It is very possible that "Those who never failed also never tried." is true.
Doing things (like going to a restaurant) alone
What's wrong with going to a restaurant alone? Let alone, doing things alone?
Piracy for incredibly old movies/games etc. If its no longer available, then it should be encouraged if anything.
Funny- I never thought of games and movies not entering the public domain. Something to think about
Admitting you were wrong
**One example** of something that society considers to be bad but is not inherently so is aging. While aging is often associated with decline and loss, it can also bring wisdom, maturity, and a greater appreciation for life. It is often how society views aging and the cultural attitudes toward the elderly that are negative, not the process itself.
You're not allowed to age now? What the hell else are you going to do?
Poverty. Have you noticed how most people treat those who make little money? Yes, there are some hard-core slackers who don't want to work, but most people work their asses off to make a living, and it's not because of laziness, but because of social or health reasons. It is worth remembering that one day you make fun of the poor, and the next day you are begging for your own bread. Be kind!
Not tipping workers who do basic stuff like handing me a cup of coffee or a takeout bag. It’s okay to not want to pay 20% for just handing me stuff I bought.
The issue is that at least in the US, they have set up a really crazy system where people like e.g. waiter has been allowed to "setup their own business inside a restaurant" rather than being paid staff by the restaurant owner. They are paid so little that they must rely on being able to be paid in tips, so you are basically making them work almost for free if you don't tip them, and that is not fair either. I like the european model more where the pay for the waiters are determined in advance and added to the price of the meal, so they don't have to gamble on your mercy.
Voluntary celibacy.
People act like you're missing out, or wierd just because you don't want to have sex.
Breastfeeding in public
Breastfeeding in public should be banned, but only after eating in public is banned, because that's what breastfeeding actually is - giving food to your child.
Not working 24/7 or participating in the “hustle culture”
I used to work for someone, who would frown on us whenever we leave on time. He thinks that we're not being "loyal" if we didn't stay late. A hostile work environment, too. Thank goodness, it didn't take long for me to find a different job, where it wasn't as stressful. We did some overtime, when need be, but not all the time.
Not having kids.
Stop asking people, you never know what they’re going through, and it’s nobody’s business.
As I've said before, having children is not for everybody. For some, it might be as personal as having some medical issues. Really, it's nobody's business.
Cutting off your parents/family if they're toxic.
Your relationships are your choice :) it's not for anyone else to say
Talking to yourself.
Having disagreements. Totally normally to disagree with people. It’s even more normal to disagree with your friends and still remain friends.
I beg to differ. I am not going to stay friends with people who have different opinions on women's and LGBTIQ-rights or are racist.
Being comfortable enough to relax and find enjoyment at home. You shouldn’t need to constantly leave your home to find enjoyment. It’s not bad to spend those staying home without going out shopping, to restaurants, to special events etc. there’s nothing wrong with relaxing at home
Taking things that have been discarded but are perfectly good.
When I lived downtown, it went like this: Good stuff - laundry room. Less good? hanging around the dumpster for the divers. Only total garbage went in the dumpster. I live in a small town now - Good stuff - posted to town facebook page. Less good? donate to thrift. Only total garbage sent to landfill. Reduce, reuse, recycle, love your mother Earth.
Knowledge, apparently. Seems like educating others and speaking on a topic you are certified to speak in is an offense to them somehow, so they think you're speaking down to them if you disagree with them.
This is common, especially in the USA. If you are not a conspiracy theorist who believes in every stupid thing known to man, you are a sheep
Sensitive straight guys
The stupid machismo image that society led many of us to believe that men are not "real" men, if they're sensitive🙄🤦🏻♀️
Helping others and gaining nothing from it. I don't mean like charity work but if I come across someone in need that might just need to talk to someone I don't mind being that person. Have a few friends that are baffled by that idea that I don't need anything in return to help.
Providing help to pedophiles so they don't commit crimes.
Pedophilia does not mean someone is automatically an abuser. We need to stop harmful media portraying every single person out there with an illness as a criminal. For this, it needs to be treated, but people who have it *won't* get help if they're afraid they will be destroyed by word getting out that they have said illness. There are far more people with this that never harm any children their entire lives than those who do. This is backed by scientific research and studies, but the moment anyone tries to say not *all* these people are monsters, they're vilified themselves. We need to let them get help. Maybe one day we can track down something, somehow, that stops this, and we need to try to help those that have it to do that.
Abortions.
This is probably going to get a lot of replies/backlash but this needs to be said: People deserve the right to make choices about their health on their own. They don't need a government/society telling them that they can't be free to make their own decisions. (btw, parents make most*, if not all decisions regarding their child's health). *edit-typo
Being single.
all of my friends date, but I don’t need to! Poetry and novels instead!
Showing affection.
I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
Load More Replies...Also not bad but needlessly villainized: rejecting your assigned gender from birth, being open about having been born intersex.
Good points!! Except cultural appropriation isn’t what you think it is! It’s when people of the majority use culture of a minority to profit or gain where someone from the minority culture would have been oppressed.
I love the article, I just wish you would pay for someone to proofread and edit. Or add this to your list of now acceptable things, "misspellings and grammatical errors are now acceptable in articles."
Being petty or spiteful. It’s been glamorised lately and applauded. You frequently see it on BP and other social media.
I thought this was gonna be real stuff. I came in here expecting American Cheese and Nickelback. But instead I freaking got platitudes.
So if through no fault of your own you're unemployed you should live on the streets until you starve to death?
Having to constantly "further yourself". Why? I'm happy and comfortable as I am, why do I need to push myself further to achieve more greatness or something
Being religious. Religious ppl get the aggressive reputation but there is sooo much derogatory antireligious content out there that isn't even I don't believe in Gd but you are stupid and evil BC you do
Don't forget annual evaluations at work and/or bonuses. Work Management wants that hush-hush. Favoritism shows then.
Ill put a very controversial one here. I am very convinced ' elitist leaders' , leaders that actually know more, know better, like in the past are often so much better than the current populism. Neither is ideal, but populism without ideals and true leadership is much worst for society than leaders willing and able to tell people they know better.
Tell me you're racist and sexist without telling me you're racist and sexist (source; a white man)
Load More Replies...I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
Load More Replies...Also not bad but needlessly villainized: rejecting your assigned gender from birth, being open about having been born intersex.
Good points!! Except cultural appropriation isn’t what you think it is! It’s when people of the majority use culture of a minority to profit or gain where someone from the minority culture would have been oppressed.
I love the article, I just wish you would pay for someone to proofread and edit. Or add this to your list of now acceptable things, "misspellings and grammatical errors are now acceptable in articles."
Being petty or spiteful. It’s been glamorised lately and applauded. You frequently see it on BP and other social media.
I thought this was gonna be real stuff. I came in here expecting American Cheese and Nickelback. But instead I freaking got platitudes.
So if through no fault of your own you're unemployed you should live on the streets until you starve to death?
Having to constantly "further yourself". Why? I'm happy and comfortable as I am, why do I need to push myself further to achieve more greatness or something
Being religious. Religious ppl get the aggressive reputation but there is sooo much derogatory antireligious content out there that isn't even I don't believe in Gd but you are stupid and evil BC you do
Don't forget annual evaluations at work and/or bonuses. Work Management wants that hush-hush. Favoritism shows then.
Ill put a very controversial one here. I am very convinced ' elitist leaders' , leaders that actually know more, know better, like in the past are often so much better than the current populism. Neither is ideal, but populism without ideals and true leadership is much worst for society than leaders willing and able to tell people they know better.
Tell me you're racist and sexist without telling me you're racist and sexist (source; a white man)
Load More Replies...