Forget public, I cried very briefly in front of an older woman in my family last year while discussing my concerns for the safety of some children in my family I care about, and recently found out she and other women in my family labeled me as “emotionally unstable” because of it and had discussed my crying as if I had lost my mind.


Ladies, if a man cries in front of you, it does not mean he is crazy or unstable. Sometimes things are just sad. 

n3u7r1n0 , Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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arthbach

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7 months ago

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Men, please cry. It is utterly weird when men don't cry. Lack of tears is not a sign of manliness, but of years of suppressing emotions.

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Smiling at children. I'm a Dad, if a baby smiles at me I'll automatically smile back, and then inevitably get a glare from the parent because they think I'm some kind of creep (no, I just miss having small children!). My wife does it, it usually leads to a conversation about their children.

zerbey , Petr Sevcovic / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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censorshipsucks

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you are in usa. This is not an issue in Africa.

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In a non-sexual way, loving children. Women can always say out loud how much they love children and being around children. A guy does it and it's time to grill him about what he means.

I saw a comedian (I think Phil Hanley...) doing some crowd work and asked this woman what she did. "I'm a teacher." "Oh, cool. What grade/age?" "Middle school. I like them younger." "Nice. You know, a guy could never say that. There would be some serious issues with that.".

chxnkybxtfxnky , Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Mrs.C

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7 months ago (edited)

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My sons are fantastic with kids. There are a lot of littles in our life and they run and play with them and the kids adore my boys (late teens/early 20's). It makes me sad to think people would look down on them for it. They're going to be great fathers someday because they've had good relationships with the littles in their lives.

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Crying in public. Women are seen as emotional while men are seen as weak. But let's be real, we all need a good cry sometimes.

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Anonymous Fox

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7 months ago

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Did anyone else think the shadow looks like a dinosaur?

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Grow body hair.

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censorshipsucks

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personally I hate it and remove it (man).

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Making jokes about domestic violence.


If a girl says "If you cheat on me, I'll do x and y with your genitals", it's often laughed at and applauded, while if the reverse was said, the guy would be criminalized.

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arthbach

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No. It's not acceptable by any gender or sex.

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Sleeping around women are typically shamed for it but men are seen as lads for it.

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Michael None

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I've always felt disgusted when other men try and brag to me. It's quality over quantity fellas.

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Age! Men can age and still be desirable but a woman needs to try everything she can to stay looking 20 yrs. old. Which is impossible by the way.

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Fat Harry

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Who says women have to do this? Other women, mostly.

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R*pe

Women can r*pe men too.

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Fat Harry

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Actually, under English and Welsh law, they can't. Rape specifically has to include the insertion of the penis into the vagina, a**s, or mouth. Women can sexually assault, they cannot rape (in England and Wales, at least).

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>Being angry/screaming

When a man gets angry, people assume that someone has wronged him.

When a woman gets angry, people call her hysterical.

>Being sad/crying

When a woman cries, people sympathise with her.

When a man cries, he is treated as a weirdo or a wimp.

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Hobby Hopper

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I assume by "gets angry" the OP means yelling, cussing, etc. In which case, when I see a man doing that, I don't assume someone has wronged him, I think he's classless and never learned to control himself. There's a right and a wrong way to express your anger.

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Be a full time parent.

It's normal for women, but when men do it, they're either "babysitting" their own kids, emasculated for not being "real men" and "providers" or given the side eye and lots of distance at the playground from the clique of SAHMs who are all there with their kids as well.

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censorshipsucks

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men are expected to be breadwinners even in Africa and women are expected to primarily be caregivers. I've never quite understood how this could be so international (international patriarchy).

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iseefractals

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Probably because dad breastfeeding the kid wouldn't go over real well. There's nothing wrong dad being the primary care giver, but people need to stop pretending like they don't understand the traditional designation of roles.

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setsuriseikou

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Well, I, for once, do understand the traditional designation of roles. What I totally don't understand is why some people still think that this designation must be followed in the modern world. Are they unaware of any other way of feeding a baby except direct breastfeeding? Do they think women don't have to learn childcare because the knowledge is magically bestowed upon them and is absolutely inaccessible to men?

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iseefractals

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It's not that it "must be followed" in the modern world, it's simply that it often is what works, for all the reasons i listed above. I became a dad at barely 18, with 3 months of prep time. My fiancé was still in high school, couldn't breast feed, crippling post partum and generally a lack of maternal instinct. I was the one sitting up at night for feedings, and sitting home, i was the only one that could soothe the crying, handling doctors appointments and vaccinations, diaper changes, bath time, play time, the endless laundry. On top of taking care of the post partum effected mom who insisted she was "fine". And then going off to work once she got out of school largely just to afford formula. If i slept two hours out of every 30, it was a lot, and that went on for a full year. It sucked, and i loved every second of it, but there was an obviously better way that things could have been done.

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setsuriseikou

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Hey, well done you! Seriously, not many people would be able to make it work, excellent job! And yeah, I guess there might have been a better way. Only I think it would have nothing to do with the traditional designation of roles.

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Bols

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Traditional designation of roles? So women to the kitchen? Not everyone breastfeeds, also even breast milk can be given via bottle, if the couple decides that dad being stay at home parent is best for them it is nobody's business and traditional roles do not apply to everyone

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iseefractals

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Just glossing over the part where i said "There's nothing wrong with dad being the primary care giver" huh? Lets step through it then, PREGNANCY in and of itself has physical, emotional, and often psychological consequences (it can take up to 18 months for moms hormone levels to return to baseline AFTER giving birth) Many women have trouble coping with the effects of pregnancy, most of the world understands this and accounts for this, women in the U.S don't have this luxury, forcing them to cope doesn't make it right let alone preferable. Giving birth...is kinda traumatic. Shocking, right? Pushing a watermelon out an opening the size of a lemon, kinda takes mom out of action for awhile, which leaves.....who? I forget. Formula, is still rather new in the grand scheme of things, whether anyone wants to acknowledge it there can be health consequences to going that route, to say nothing of how insanely expensive it is...

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iseefractals

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leaving mommy, in the position of being babies buffet, every 2-4 hours. Yes, women can theoretically pump, and store.....but a staggering number of people don't have access to electricity...making it a dicey proposition. We could debate the mother child bond, the biological imperative of maternal instinct, but the physical logistics already outlined are more than enough to make clear why things have been the way that they've been, and largely continue to be. It's not to say that men can't step into that role, or that they should be prevented from doing so....but it's not sexist to acknowledge the reality of why tend to work out the way that they do.

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Jasmyn JAY

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Wtf are bottles (formula) for? Show and tell? I didn't breastfeed my crotch fruits.

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RajunCajun

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funny

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Bear Hall

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Because almost through the entire history of the human race producing food was either dangerous and/or excruciatingly hard process the generally stronger males are better suited for. Also, there were no contraceptives or baby formula available so an average woman was pregnant or taking care of her toddlers during most of her adult life. It was all necessary because child -and adult- mortality was incredibly high so males and females had to work extremely hard to ensure the genealogical and cultural survival of their people. It takes a village ..

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A. Starhawk Hunt

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The one thing that comes to mind is that women are life-bearers, and CAN usually provide nourishment in and of themselves. Children in 3rd world countries may nurse a lot longer that we in Murica see. Men were probably the big game hunters - losing a father is not as bad for a young child as his mother is even part of a young child's food. However, there is fair chance that women in fact, as has been seen in anthropological sites, provided a substantial, if not the lion's share of the food. Vegetation was terrifically important, but rarely dangerous. It is also probable that some societies hosted small game routs, driving in the small game to lined up nets.

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Bear Hall

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I have to contradict the second half of your argument. To survive on plant based diet much bigger quantity of food is necessary opposed to eating meat. Before the dawn of agriculture there were simply not enough to support a band to live on mostly plants without being constantly on the move and "graze". And eatable plants are not readily available whole year round on most of the planet. Even around the equator where foraging is always possible people hunt or fish a lot instead living only on fruits and roots. The plants that -probably- women collected was important as providing vitamins and to help to pull through between successful hunts.

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A. Starhawk Hunt

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Where did I say anything about it always being an all or nothing? If I seemed to have misspoken, I sincerely apologize. However. There would/still are different seasons, before one diet is total. Unless it’s starving times, though. Winter going into spring will provide lots of new growth, and our ancestors understand many ways of storing food. Spring to autumn is when the animals fatten for mating. Fats are not an option in the human diet. I mean they are dead important. The harvest fruits, grains, gourds that keep forever. So, it’s a trade-off, over the who’s main. Dried/preserved foods are always available, except in starving times. The Anasazi and Pueblo tribes did not have much in the way of meats - sheep and turkeys. But, tons of protein came from beans and maize. Better? Sincere, not sarcasm.

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Bear Hall

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In your earlier post you mentioned "anthropological sites" and I interpreted it as you are talking about the times before the Neolithic Revolution. I'm sorry if I misunderstood you. During that period our ancestors living farther from the Equator didn't have the means store food for a long time beyond smoking or drying stuff. They had few sources of protein during the winter and all of them were meats. Animal husbandry with sheep or cultivating plants like beans and maize started 13.000 - 12.000 years ago. But people going hungry during the winter happened quite often up to a few hundred years ago despite all the different kind of food being available for them during the summer. Winter Solstice, when the daylight hours start to grow longer signaling the approaching spring was celebrated for a very long time often with a feast hence the tradition of Christmas supper. They finally didn't have to be so careful rationing food.

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Duh

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"even in Africa" wut? And do you find cultural norms to be the same over the entire continent, from Morocco to Egypt to South Africa? Maybe check out that children's book "Africa Is Not A Country"

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Fabian Bernard

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Went through that as a solo dad. No, I do not deserve an award for just parenting and get the job done

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Lawpanda

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6 months ago

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It shouldn't be if whoever decides to stay home should be treated the same. If I was at a park with a sahd I would talk to them. Of course I don't get along well with women. To much gossip for me.lol.

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Mirolfur Grafarson

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6 months ago

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This one is so true. My good friend is divorced and each time he has kids people refer it as "babysitting" them

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Sophia L.

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Someone asked where my baby was, I told them "At home with her father". They asked "Oh, he's babysitting?" No b**h, he is watching his own daughter!

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Lena Flising

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7 months ago

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Not as big a problem in Sweden. We have very few SAHMs. Both parents provide together, and most kids are at kindergarten during the day. Still, men caring for their own kids is sometimes called babysitting here too.

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Kit Black

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Removing children from both parents is not an improvement

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BoredPossum

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This one is kinda true.

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R.A. Haley

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Man hunt tiger, woman tend fire. Seems to be engrained in the entire human race. No matter how much lipservice we pay to changing roles, we instinctively prefer the traditional way.

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Tamra

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I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that "we" doesn't include most women.

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Have full autonomy over their own bodies.

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Panda Boi

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Except for the circumcision part.

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If a women tells a 5 year old boy about handsome he is and of course jokingly calls him her boyfriend it’s looked at as cute/funny but reverse it to a grown man and 5 year old girl he’s a predator. Someone else pointed this out and I had to agree.

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Marianne

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If a woman tells my 5 years old son that he's her boyfriend, she will not see him again anytime soon.

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Battering the opposite gender. Y’all may say “nuh-uh” but it’s true. Women can casually slap, push, punch, elbow a man especially their partner and nothing happens. Let’s say the man cheats, and the woman with tears in her eyes slaps him in the face and walks away. Maybe sometimes consequences are faced, but more often than if the roles were reversed that woman just battered a man and gets off Scott free.

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OnlyMe

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Violence is unacceptable.

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Use sex toys. Perfectly acceptable, or even considered hot/sexy for a woman. If a guy uses a sex toy: he's considered weird or creepy.

squid1891 , Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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that_gay_snake(he/they)

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i dont understand why this is deemed wrong. we all have a "guilty" pleasure and its not right to shame others for it ( unless its creepy).

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Take off their shirt/top when they're working outside on a hot day. Men do it all the time, but when a girl does it, it's indecent exposure.

Also, breaking up by text. This is something that society thinks only women do, even though I have seen female friends get dumped by text. It's still a d**k move no matter who does it but it's so stereotypically women who are guilty of this. The actual split is probably pretty close to 50/50.

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ElfVibratorGlitter

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Oh this! I ran high school track and some afternoons it would be hot as Hades. The boys team would be running without shirts. A couple of us on the girls team also took off our shirts and were wearing sports bras/tanks. Move ahead 15 minutes and the boys coach comes over and says the girls need to be wearing shirts because we were too distracting. This has stuck with me for so many years for so many reasons.

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**Playing with toys.** Some toys are marketed towards one gender or the other, but there's no reason why anyone can't enjoy any kind of toy.

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MotherofGuineaPigs

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My daughter drove her battery operated Dodge Ram. She was also wearing her sleeping beauty costume. You do you honey.

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Choosing career over marrying - God forbid a woman wants to be left alone with her money.


Being affectionate with friends - Men should be able to do this without fear of being labelled as weak every 5 minutes



Promiscuity - I dont think it's good practice, but I mean it for both gender not just women


Not knowing any household chores - It's a life skill, not a gendered one yet women tend to be on the harsher side of the stick


Being financially dependent - Same with household chores except men to be on the harsher side this time.

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Fabian Bernard

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Having a wealthier/ and/ or / oldier partner for m'en: be seen as a gigolo. For women : wether gold digger or the man seen as a creep

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Office settings in my experience - middle aged women seem to get away with borderline, if-not-outright sexual harassment of younger colleagues.

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Sarah Jones

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They may be somehow getting away with it, but it’s not acceptable

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Men can't wear women's clothes, meanwhile in reverse it's totally okay.

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censorshipsucks

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It's men enforcing that. When I wear stuff that a woman might prefer, e.g. loose pants/egyptian cotton, it's literally only the men that seem perturbed. Women usually compliment and move on.

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Talk about emotions.

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C Hendrix

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And actually have them.

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Randomly touching ppl in public. For some reason its ok for women. My husband gets that often but if he says something hed probably be put up as the a*****e.

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BoredPossum

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Grabbing a boob is different from a high five or a handshake.

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Getting bald.

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censorshipsucks

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it's awful, you hit your head on everything and bleed a lot.

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Walking around shirtless.

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WonderWoman

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Either we should ALL be able to walk around shirtless or NO ONE be able to walk around shirtless.

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Wearing a skirt!

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censorshipsucks

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*scotland enters the chat"

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Hitting on strangers (in an unwelcome kind of way). Hitting on co-workers. I get this from both genders and it feels equally creepy, but women seem to think there's nothing wrong with it.

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Dee Rutherford

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No, women don’t. Unless they are “not nice”

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Invading peoples space and/or touching people in public. This goes for both children and adults.

A man can’t just walk up to a child and rub their face or anything without people getting uncomfortable (Joe Biden for example). Women do this all the time. When my kids were little women would always just walk up and touch their fair, their cheeks, their chin.

As far as adult touching goes I have several guy friends that are extremely muscular. The amount of times random women grab their biceps and rub them is hilarious. If a guy did that he’d get kneed in the balls.

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Marianne

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I'm very territorial about people touching my toddler. Many people think I'm rude when I tell them not to touch him.

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When a teacher sleeps with a student.

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Tobias Reaper

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look at news headlines when this happens if its woman teach it usually says teacher sleeps with student if its a man then it says assaults or raped student

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Stare at / openly check out others. Unless a girl/woman is doing it, everyone will call you a creep.

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Dee Rutherford

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I’m sure both genders find it creepy.

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Having dating standards .

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Marianne

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I think this means that a woman can say she won't date small men and people think that's ok. However, when a man says that he only dates slim women, he will get hate for it.

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Fart.

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Randy Sanders

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7 months ago

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OK. It's mostly funny, no matter who does it. However , it is a bit lowbrow.

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Man over 30 who's successful, decent looking, and single: "there must be something wrong with him"


Woman in the same situation: "she's strong and independent" Lol what?


Well, that's in real life anyways. On the internet the woman is shamed for not being a concubine for incels.

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Amalie Jaye

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7 months ago

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Turn the tables - sometimes women are asked why they haven’t settled down, had a family etc. Even when I was 13 my grandparents are saying stuff to my parents “ have you married her off yet?” Or to me “ make sure you go out with that lad, I know you don’t like him like that but he will convince you to not be a career woman” “ that boy wants to be in the navy, marry young, avoid career” Not always this way but…

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Chatting with other people of the opposite sex when in a relationship. When a girl does it, she is just sociable and friendly and if her bf didn’t like it he’d be controlling and jealous.
When I guy does it, he is a massive red flag, unfaithful and the girl should just dump him.

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Marianne

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7 months ago

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I have never heard about this one. Every person should be able to talk to the other sex and a partner who has a problem with that is delusional, no matter their gender.

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Having casual sex.
Being overweight/not conventionally attractive.
Growing old naturally (grey hair, wrinkles).
Abandoning your children.

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C Hendrix

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7 months ago

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I have to agree with you as far as being overweight/not conventionally attractive. There have been countless TV shows and movies about shlubby men married to gorgeous women -- but you'd never see a show about a (for example) Melissa McCarthy or Kathy Bates married to a Brad Pitt or George Clooney.

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Wear a lace thong under your business attire.

lfras , Gioele Fazzeri / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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Rizzo

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7 months ago

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Showing underwear is unacceptable for both genders.

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Pedicure.

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Ms.GB

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7 months ago

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Guys, seriously go get a pedicure! I take my husband and he loves it. I promise nobody is going to be anything but happy to see you. I tried so hard to get my dad to go because he had problems with his feet and I could tell he wanted to but didn't want his friends to think he was "soft" or whatever....it makes me angry he never got to enjoy that.

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Hanging around in the park near the playground.

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Clown fish

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7 months ago

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Bit odd if you are watching the children. If you are just walking around the park or chilling on a beach then it's ok

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Gardening as a hobby

Say what you will about how times have changed now but I remember back in high school one of the first days there we were doing some of those get to know you exercises and one of the first questions they asked was what extracurricular activities you wanted to get involved in

Saw that the school had a gardening club and so happily announced my desire to join this and to my surprise a bunch of kids mostly guys in the class started laughing like I was telling a joke and later one of my friends told me something along the lines of wow that was a really funny joke you made about the clubs you wanted to join

And I just kind of sadly nodded and agreed because I was too embarrassed to just admit that I actually genuinely wanted to join that club and found it interesting and fun

Kind of crushed any desire I had to do gardening or anything until years later as an adult I finally started buying my own plants and learning how to properly care for them and stuff and even to this day I still kind of feel embarrassed admitting to people that I like to do this because of the social stigma around it. But at the same time feel immense pride in my plants.

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censorshipsucks

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7 months ago (edited)

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I can't tell what the person's gender is, I am assuming a male? In my country (SA) most gardeners are male, like probably 99.99999%. I've only ever seen two women doing gardening: my mom and my mother in law. It seems to be a racial thing as well as a gender thing. It seems to be like this: heavy work - mowing, digging for trees = man's job. Delicate work: tending flowers or herbs: woman's job. That's at least my observation. My dad did both so I don't gender gardening myself. By "racial" thing I mean most gardeners here are African whereas the people doing the fussy work with flowers tend to be white.

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Abandon their children.

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Mrs.C

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7 months ago

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Anyone who does this is trash.

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Rejecting someone. If a woman does it you need to respect her decision but if a man does it he's treated like he just spat in her face.

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Corvus

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7 months ago

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The opposite can happen too... a woman rejects some "nice guy" and he suddenly starts calling her names.

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Stripper work.

It's hot when a woman does it.

It's considered 'for the gay guys' if a guy does it.

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CK

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7 months ago

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Well, gay guys typically have less interest in female strippers than in male ones.

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Hate and Insult the other gender.

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michael reid

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7 months ago

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What does this one mean? Both sexes do that

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Pee sitting down.

PresentationNice7043 , Miriam Alonso / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Marianne

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7 months ago (edited)

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Well that's not a social bias. Women just can't pee while standing (and not totally soil themselves).

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Selfies. We know who does it.

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censorshipsucks

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7 months ago

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narcissists of both genders, that's who.

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Getting bumped while walking . That day a woman clashed into my shoulder and ran away without even acknowledging the incident . It was a mistake i understand, but if it was the other way round , if the woman wanted it she could have had me beaten too .

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Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein

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7 months ago

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In which country can a woman have a man beaten if he bumps into her? Plus, don't people bump into each other? If I see someone not looking where they're going I either step aside or say something to them to avoid a bump.

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