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Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It’s impossible to do it perfectly, but there are a million different ways to do it well. As long as your little ones have all of the love and support they need, as well as a clean and safe place to rest their heads at night, you're probably doing a great job.

But sadly, there are some moms and dads out there who could use a lesson in how to be a good parent. Redditors have recently been sharing glaringly obvious red flags that someone’s not a good parent, so we’ve gathered the most heartbreaking ones below. We hope that none of these examples remind you of your own mother and father, pandas, but they might be good reminders of what not to do with your kids. 

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#1

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Filming everything your child does and creating a social media page to garner likes and ad revenue.

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Kalikima
Kalikima
Community Member
Premium 5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son (7) is convinced he wants to be a youtuber.. I refuse to let him, there's too many crazy people online..

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#2

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Your own children being afraid of you, no child should be afraid of the person that looks after them nearly 24/7.

69narcos , Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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ILoveMySon
ILoveMySon
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I noticed this in the children of a neighbor years ago and started paying more attention. Turned the parents into CPS. I was correct in my deduction and the children were removed. Yes I WILL be "that person" where children are concerned.

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#3

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back When the older kids have no life or time on their own as they're too busy raising their siblings.

DeviousWhippet , Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Nikole
Nikole
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to my mom, the oldest of seven. Her mom was a dingbat and her dad worked long hours in a factory to provide for nine freaking people. Oh Catholicism.

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#4

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Using children as pawns in divorces or separations.

KarlTremblay , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mum and dad fought over who got custody of me. My mum lost and she ended up with me.

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#5

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back I'll use my mom as an example: When their goal is to have a child, not to raise an adult. So they purposefully keep them young, discourage independence, and pour their entire identity into being mom. Then, when that kid becomes an adult, they have no idea what to do with their life.

Djeter998 , Keira Burton / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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pineapple87
pineapple87
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, I've seen too much of this. It's not always about not wanting your kid to grow up, though, a lot of the time a parent just does everything for them because "it's just faster if I do it myself" without realizing that they're denying their kids the chance to learn vital life skills.

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#6

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Letting your child watch a video on their iPad on full volume in a restaurant. Please parent your child and engage with them so they know how when they are older.

Vanessacery , Oleksandr P / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#7

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Taking their bedroom door off because they haven't "earned" privacy.

DeviousWhippet , Ksenia Chernaya / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Nikki Gross
Nikki Gross
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Mom did that to me one time and I completely deserved it. I was 15 and we were arguing and I had a bad habit of slamming my door when I was mad. She told me if I slammed it one more time that she was taking it off its hinge, so being a brat I yelled and slammed it again. 2 seconds later Mom comes in with a hammer and screwdriver and took it off the hinge. At the time it was just the two of us living in our house, so it wasn't like I lost all privacy since it was in the summer and Mom was at work most of the time and i only lost it for 3 days. I learned my lesson since I'm 47 and she's gone now but I still won't slam a door.

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#8

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Being on your phone while the kids are running rampant. i get people need breaks but at a restaurant i don't really want kids coming over to my table and messing with food and screaming everywhere.

False_Ad636 , Vitolda Klein / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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Nikole
Nikole
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe two years ago I was at a restaurant with my then boyfriend and his family. His brother has two kids and his sister has one. Who had to wrangle them?? Me. These kids were all over the place… The parents and grandparents couldn’t have cared less.

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#9

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Stealing from your child. When I started college I had saved up about $800 for books and supplies. Two days before class starts I go to buy my book. I have $600 worth of stuff ranging from up and my card declines. I put everything back and check my bank app. I have $30. It says that the last transaction was an in bank transfer to my dad account. I called him and asked what happened.

His response:
“I was short on bills. I’ll get you back in two weeks on payday.

Me: “ok but you didn’t ask. I need that for school and I just looked like a moron since my card declined.”

Him: “I’m the parent. I don’t have to ask you for anything. You should be grateful I’m giving it back at all. It’s not my fault you didn’t check your bank account before trying to make a big purchase.

Later that night he cussed me out for changing my passwords and log in info. He says he has the right to see what I’m spending my money on.
I got the money back a week later with an extra $200 “for the inconvenience”.

But the damage was done. I already had flunked two quizzes because I didn’t have textbooks and my library only had the outdated copy that gave me wrong answers.

Zandycrush , Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Garth
Garth
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a recent story of an 18 year old who had scrimped and saved for college to the tune of nearly 18k. Their parents drained the account and then claimed they were owed. The kid filed a police report and went NC. The parents did time.

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#10

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Treating your kid as your therapist.

Ugliest-Mod-Ever , Barbara Olsen / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Red PANda (she/they)
Red PANda (she/they)
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This doesn’t mean don’t show emotion to your child, just don’t dump all your worries onto them and anxieties that they shouldn’t have to think about as a kid

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#11

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Having extremely unreasonable, unrealistic expectations for your child, i.e., maintain 5.0 GPA Pre-K to College, earn a noble peace price at 20, somehow get married at 25, and have 6 kids by 30, get six figure job right after college, take care of the entire family on their own dime etc.

7_Rush , olia danilevich / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Rebel Peewee
Rebel Peewee
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When i was a HS teacher, i was astounded at the shear amount of energy that parents put into making sure their child had perfect grades while totally disregarding helping them shape into functioning adults who, i don't know, could actually thrive in college and beyond, not just get into a good school.

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#12

Never apologizes.

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Binky Melnik
Binky Melnik
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5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was an adult before I found out that parents apologize to their kids. I just assumed it was something that wasn’t done but then they were always, ALWAYS right, and so had nothing to apologize for.

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#13

Being Anti-Vax.

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#14

Constantly yelling and losing it on your kids. How are they going to learn about stability and communication with parents like that.

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#15

Trapping a child in a car as you smoke. Add into the mix the child has chronic bronchitis. Chronic bronchitis is a pulmonary disease, not a cold. No child should have this. Commenting for a friend.

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Stephanie Did It
Stephanie Did It
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Born to smokers, raised by smokers. Severe asthmatic for 65 years, in and out of ICUs and ERs. I'm now on a medication that is working, but I'll never get back those years of being miserably sick and ruined occasions my "caregivers" inflicted on me.

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#16

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Not having open lines of communication, where your children feel they can't talk to you about their day, concerns at school, or what's on their mind, might indicate a need to work on the relationship.

NumberPractical4830 , Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Cassie
Cassie
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom died when I was a kid and my dad made it very clear that he wasn't interested in dealing with my issues. When I was a teenager, he got offended that I wouldn't come to him for anything, but every time I tried he would get annoyed or even mad. But I'm still the bad guy for not wanting to talk to him about anything.

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#17

Parents (usually moms) that self identify as “crunchy/silky/scrunchy/almond/whateverthef**k moms”. Parents that post their kids all over online on the same pages they post their OF links and photos and videos of themselves half naked. Parents who tell everyone their kid is neurodivergent as an excuse for their behavior, especially if they’ve never actually been tested. Family vloggers. Parents who exploit their disabled children for money/attention. Parents who post videos of their kids throwing a fit or getting hurt because they think it’s funny. Parents of adult children who no longer speak to them.

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pineapple87
pineapple87
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The tantrum filming. I can't even imagine what kind of damage those kids grow up with when their negative emotions have only ever been met with ridicule.

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#18

Fetal-alcohol syndrome. When you see it, you know. If you don't know, Google right now. Had a classmate in grade school with it.

I was walking through the forest, minding my own business, when a family walked past me going the other way. The father was covered in tattoos and looked older than he should. He had a cigarette hanging out of his cap. The mother was platinum blond wearing all black stretch fabric and a polished face mask of pale looking makeup. They club. And I don't fault them for their lifestyles or priorities. The mother was pushing a stroller with a child; it was a paved trail. The father was just BITCHING about anything and everything - I've never heard so much bitching in a forest, of all places. It's how I knew they were there - I heard him before I saw him. They had a little boy in tow - probably 7-8. My problem with them all was that when we both came around the bend, when they saw me as I saw them, THE FIRST THING this child just out of diapers did, was shout, "HEY! F**K YOU! HEY! HEY! F**K YOU! F**K YOU!" - over, and over again, flipping me the double bird. The father was indifferent, and the mother was hoping to ignore the whole thing. I looked the kid in the eyes and said, "Your parents must be so proud of you." And I carried on.

I met up with an old friend. He and I go back to diapers. I haven't seen him in 15 years and we got together for his birthday. He invited some other friends out, too. So we were having a drink when his friends showed up. They had a son. He was 3-4. This was 11pm on a Saturday, in a bar. The child had deep bags under his eyes. They ordered him caffeinated Cola, and poured it into a sippy cup for him. He complained he was tired, they told him to sleep in the booth, which is impossible in a bar at 11pm on a Saturday. Frankly, I had lost my appetite, as it were, to this, and endeavored to speed the night along for the child's sake.

Children bear the burden of their bad parents. You look how they behave and that tells you everything you need to know. You look at their outbursts, their scars, their fears, their coping mechanisms.

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Kalikima
Kalikima
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Premium 5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That poor child, in a bar, just wanting to sleep.. it breaks my heart to hear things like that..

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#19

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Sheltering children from uncomfortable feelings.

You have to let your kids learn to process and handle those feelings. Don't assume something is too hard for them to understand, I promise they already know something is happening/wrong, so help them understand it.

This also goes for punishments too. Nobody likes to make their kid mad or cry. It's not fun grounding kids for a messy room, not getting chores done, or lying but they need those life skills. You've only got a set amount of time to teach them to be good, thoughtful, respectful humans.

0rangeMarmalade , Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Brenda
Brenda
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom ALWAYS talked to us about what we'd done before any punishment was handed out. Sometimes you have a good reason for what you did

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#20

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Trying to be your child’s friend and not setting structure or expectations or disciplining them.

Leeser , Brett Sayles / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Brenda
Brenda
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes I'm the mom & sometimes i'm a friend, but my kids are grown

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#21

If they hit their children.

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#22

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back When they expect gratitude for food, shelter and the bare minimum they provided as they had too.

DeviousWhippet , Timur Weber / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Becca not Becky
Becca not Becky
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's good to teach gratitude for the simple things (there are people who don't have those) but it's wrong to weaponize it

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#23

Not knowing anything about your child's life. Best friends, favorite things, favorite teacher, what they like or don't like to eat. Not having an interest in them as individuals. Not allowing them to be individuals.

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#24

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Child : scream

parent : scream louder.

chinchenping , Keira Burton / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Weasel Wise
Weasel Wise
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Child knows they can't scream cuz it will result in far worse when nobody is looking. My parents are pieces of shìt.

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#25

Not showing up for your kids. As someone who's worked up to 3 Jobs at one time I've never missed a concert, sporting event or birthday. There are of course circumstances that can't be bypassed but if you miss more than you attend it's a you problem.

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Trillian
Trillian
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That being said, some schools really need to make an effort to make events more "working parents friendly". Especially now just before the summer holidays there is a ton of conferences, get-togethers, sponsored runs, sports competitions and whatnot, I can't take time off for each and I just wish they would move some of it to the later afternoon or weekend.

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#26

When a parent compares their child to another child such as their friends, cousins, etc. Never giving the child any praise. Speaking to them as if they are a child when they are a teenager. Not paying attention while they are playing or acknowledging when they come up to you wanting to show you something. Replying “later” to everything they ask you to do. When they want something such as to see their friends, and instead of supporting them, you never allow them any social freedom. The list goes on.

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#27

I'm telling on myself from the past here (bad parents can become better), but putting off therapies your child needs and refusing to set boundaries because you feel bad about a situation that happened.

This allows for bratty kids who think the world revolves around them and setting boundaries later with the child is Hell. My kiddo is recovering and doing so much better now, but it took a huge wake up call and it shouldn't have.

I can't stress this enough: parent your kids! They will be so much better for it in the long run. No amount of guilt should stop you from teaching your children boundaries and how to respect them.

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#28

Your kid seeking out other adults to confide in when it comes to difficult topics, because they're scared of how you'll react.

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Kinak
Kinak
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

they got to talk to adults? I had no one to talk to cause my parents had ears everywhere

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#29

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back As someone who works wit elementary aged kids, being too controlling about everything, not just with your kid but trying to control what your kid is around when you aren’t, there are several parents who have tried to get books taken out of our school library, freaked out that teachers put on movies during indoor recess (we are a catholic private school owned by the Archdiocese there are so many restrictions) or even that we give out cookies for after school snack. There are two young kids who have already learned how to lie to their mom, they are in third and first grade so they can have the fun treat we give out instead of just getting an apple while everyone else gets popsicles.

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#30

Parents who let their home go to s**t. I get it, kids are messy, lives are busy, and your home will never be perfect. But some scattered toys, piles of schoolwork, and a few drop zones around the place isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about moldy food everywhere, hoarding, not cleaning up after animals, and houses full of rodents and roaches attracted to the biohazard of a mess.

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Brenda
Brenda
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My house mostly looked like a disaster area when the kids were growing up. It was very cluttered (as I tried to do as many things myself as possible to save money), but it was never filthy dirty.

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#31

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Playing favourites when all kids should be equally loved (not my experience but my boyfriend's).

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Lsai Aeon
Lsai Aeon
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm an only child, my mother's favorite child was anyone else's child. She adopted me but wanted a boy and got a girl. Took it out on me

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#32

Parents who cave-in to their kids demands and let the kid control them.

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Garth
Garth
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They become self entitled Karens and Kevins whose only goal in life is to talk to your manager

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#33

Pressuring constantly his/her own children, displaying them like trophies or accomplishments instead of human beings.

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#34

Smoking a cigarette while holding your baby.

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Kinak
Kinak
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my grandpa stopped smoking for us and he's doing much better than before now

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#35

Family YouTube channels.

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#36

Letting them run around a restaurant.

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#37

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back When your kids do the conga around your corpse at your funeral.

DeviousWhippet , Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Weasel Wise
Weasel Wise
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would this be concerning? It's a celebration of release from their abusers and captors.

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#38

Giving your kid everything he wants.

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#39

“What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?”: 50 People Hold Nothing Back Anyone who calls them self a boy mom.

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Zedrapazia
Zedrapazia
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For anyone who needs a description what that is: A Boy Mom is an Instagram and TikTok trend of women who specifically wanted a boy, are now absolutely spoiling that kid with no boundaries at all, and have weirdly parasitic, boyfriend-like relationships to their own sons if they are older

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#40

“We don’t say no in this household.”

The idea and sentiment behind that phrase I can understand but the way the majority of parents put this in practice is just always saying, “Yes.”

I’ve been in numerous 504 meetings where the the behavioral issue can be mitigated by boundaries.

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#41

Parents with fat kids who continue to feed them garbage.

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kittenlevelstokyo avatar
kitten levels tokyo
kitten levels tokyo
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read that some people live in “Food Deserts” where the only options are garbage food and extreme fatness. 🤷‍♂️

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#42

Not leading by example.

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BoredPossum
BoredPossum
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not optimal but not terrible either. That stuff is hard.

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#43

Your kids at grandmas more than with you because you’re out having a “good time” every weekend!

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LandAhoy (they/them)
LandAhoy (they/them)
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is OK- shared custody with grandparent if grandparent is willing. Essential with young parents who may otherwise resent having a child. A million times better than the parents partying all weekend with them NOT being sent to Grandma's.

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#44

I'm an "influencer" and my kids are part of my channel.

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FluffyDreg
FluffyDreg
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know someone who has a survivalist/camping/travel YouTube and his kids appear every now and again. Mostly on traveling vacation videos. Hes a bit bordering with how often they do show up but it's not enoigh to be red flag territory.

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#45

Having kids while you are actively doing hard d***s.

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#46

People who have family blogs.

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#47

Not monitoring your kids screen time.

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The key is providing them alternatives so interesting and involving that the screen time will limit itself.

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#48

A child flinching.

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FluffyDreg
FluffyDreg
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get the point but if theres a very loud sound kids who hsvent been abused will flinch because its an instinctive reflex.

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#49

When your kids jump in the air and click their heels when finding out you dead.

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Garth
Garth
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never speak bad about the dead only good.... they're dead... GOOD !

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#50

Be on first name basis with all the officers at the juvenile detention facility.

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Shark queen 🦈🦈🦈
Shark queen 🦈🦈🦈
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait there is a case where this is okay. If they are either A a social worker or b an officer as well.

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