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elainesbaddecisions , Anna Tarazevich/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

In many of these stories, Redditors shared how they didn’t initially recognize that what they were going through was tied to deeper mental health challenges. To learn why, Bored Panda spoke with psychologist Sabina Nazarova.

“People often don’t realize they have mental health issues or trauma because they get used to the way things are,” Nazarova tells us. “Life is complicated, and with so much going on, many don’t take the time to stop and think about why they feel or act a certain way.”

From a neurological perspective, Nazarova notes that humans aren’t as adaptable as we might think. Our brains tend to settle into familiar patterns, even if those patterns are unhealthy, making them difficult to break. Dissociation can also play a role, with the mind blocking out painful memories, preventing many of us from fully recognizing their impact until much later.

“When we go through tough experiences, we focus on surviving,” Nazarova adds. “It takes a lot of energy to change, so we often stick with what’s familiar, even if it’s uncomfortable, rather than working toward something better but unknown.”

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Thinking burnout was just part of working hard. Turns out, it's not a badge of honor—it's a big red flag.

Final score:

160points

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Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero" 1 month ago (edited)

Truth. Also showing up to work sick, when you have sick days available. "Because my dad taught me that the only reason a real man with a work ethic calls in sick, is because you are in the hospital." Thanks for giving the rest of the flu you muck fuppet.

74points

mnl_cntn , Pixabay/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth My childhood was worse than I thought. Not as bad as others, like nothing physical. But those are extremes and I need to understand that you don’t need to go through extremes to go through a bad time.

Final score:

155points

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Lyoness 1 month ago

I call this the Trauma Olympics. It's the whole "You went through this but it could have been so much worse." It compares trauma and gives out virtual medals for having the worst experience. Problem is it makes light of everyone's issues when it's all relative. It's fine to recognise that others may have had a harder time than you, but don't minimise your own experience. It's just as valid.

27points

San Nordic 1 month ago

I hear this a lot. I belong to the other perspective on this: I always thought it helped me go through things. Not to become victim or be defined rest of my life. It always helps me to think that I am not alone. It helps me to help others, not to stare at my own toes. 👠❣️

11points

Mattie 1 month ago

I usually tell people it's like if you break your arm and someone else breaks both arms: it's more painful for them but it doesn't fix or heal your one broken arm. You're always going to find someone who has it worse, and how they go through their ordeal has nothing to do with how you go through yours. Your pain is valid and it's alright to acknowledge it and express it, it can even help you through it

2points

ARLENE HOHNEKER 1 month ago

I used to think that my trauma isn't high up there on the importance scale like I never served in the military and had actively served; never saw someone get killed either by violence or by an accident. I did endure parental emotional neglect; an alcoholic stepmother; sexual molestation and assault as an adult, and went through two years of homelessness; workplace bullying, and still I think I must not be that bad because disability folks reject my request for benefits. I just wished I didn't have such problems getting and keeping jobs and trusting people like coworkers and authority figures

1point

similarly 1 month ago

Just because your trauma was different from other people's trauma, never think it wasn't trauma. It can words, it can be fear, it can be anxiety, it can be feeling really uncomfortable around a creepy person. Just because nothing illegal happened doesn't mean that "nothing" happened.

11points

Pandarosa 1 month ago

So, so much this. My childhood has been falling apart via flashback since my parents separated and all this stuff came to light. A lot of the good bits weren't that good after all.

11points

Lyoness 1 month ago

I'm sorry someone downvoted you for sharing what must be a painful experience. Here's an upvote and a virtual hug.

10points

CP 1 month ago

Everyone's experience is their own and you shouldn't compare them to others. I had to come to grips with that. My childhood had ups and downs. I ignored the downs to my own determent.

8points

coffee loving panda 1 month ago

Being neglected is also abuse

7points

Mike m 1 month ago

And you might not even realize it until you're 40.

7points

Gracie Jay 1 month ago (edited)

That’s where I am, I have no clue how I went so long thinking I had a great childhood, it boggles my mind. I think if my daughter experienced any of those things…and I just don’t know how I ever got it so incredibly wrong.

2points

Outgraygeous 1 month ago

OR not realizing it until having a child of your own.

1point

coffee loving panda 2 weeks ago

I did some testing last week. I always new it was not okay and my psychiatrist said. It is more than not okay. What you described is severe to extreme neglect. I am 38. And I can not wrap my head around it

0points

Josh Hart 1 month ago

Being ignored is worse than physical abuse on a child

4points

Earthquake903 Premium 1 month ago

This

4points

Courtney Christelle 1 month ago

I just thought my childhood was difficult. My therapist told me it was abusive.

4points

My O My 1 month ago

Same here. Emotional neglect is also neglect

4points

Child of the Stars 1 month ago

It took me into my 30s to recognize the damage my parents did because it didn't fit the narrative of physical or emotional abuse. I still believe my parents did the best they knew, but it took becoming a parent myself to realize how unhealthy they actually are.

3points

Outgraygeous 1 month ago

This!!! Becoming a parent is what really made me feel it.

1point

Solidhog 1 month ago

The problem is that s children we have little ability to know what is right and wrong when you only see one side. Sadly, many find out a long time later what life could have been.

3points

Nerd Groupie 1 month ago

The number one form of child abuse isn't physical violence. It's neglect and it's incredibly harmful.

2points

Zaach 1 month ago

My mother never complimented me for anything but would criticize me when I did not do it 'right' (bur never explained how to do it correctly)

2points

Gracie Jay 1 month ago

This probably needs to be higher, I think there might be a possibility that many people don’t recognize they even have trauma because their childhood traumas aren’t the ones they see regularly on TV or books. I just recently learned people start long term memories much earlier than I ever realized. I only have a handful, like 10-15 maybe, of memories at 8 and younger. Most aren’t great. Also, learned there was a 6 month period then, where we lived at a women’s shelter. No memory of that. No physical abuse, against me any way. That I remember. Witnessing it is very damaging also. No memories of that till way later. I’ve always told people I had a great childhood and believed that for a very long time. Simply because I didn’t know better.

1point

SkippityBoppityBoo 1 month ago

Each persons trauma or experience or whatever is unique to them... There is no "Oh I had it worse!"... No... Please stop comparing because that helps noone... Our individual pain is our individual pain...

1point

Laserleader 1 month ago (edited)

I knew something was wrong in my childhood, but never realized how bad until as an adult I realized I would NEVER PUT A CHILD THROUGH what I went through. That is the scale I use.

1point

Cee Cee 1 month ago

I was not the golden child and the psychological abuse I went through absolutely ruined most of my life. Went NC eventually. Life improved.

0points

Lama 1 month ago

True that. Thank you

0points

Narelle Hussy 1 month ago

I sad how many of us have been thru stuff we don't like 2 talk about, you name it I copped it, on all levels, I didn't know that I was being abused until new neighbours moved in and I started spending more time with them, at the age of 9 I went home packed my s**t and moved in with the new neighbours, it was well over a week b4 my mother even realised I was gone, I got lucky and made my escape, I hope you all have found some peace along the road 2 recovery..

0points

Breadcrumb. 1 month ago

This is gaslighting yourself and I'm sure your family helped

-1point

Pandarosa 1 month ago

Twenty bucks says you're 12 and up way past your bedtime, Crumb

5points

My Dad's abusive and controlling angry behavior.

Growing up I think you just convince yourself that your life is easier, or better than SO many others, especially living in rural North America. It wasn't until me and my siblings were in our early twenties that we even TALKED about the way he acts and even then it was just a "oh man, he's crazy, what a psycho haha"

Queue me being in college, hanging out with most of my class on a Friday evening as we all sit around drinking / chatting. The topic of "crazy dad's" come up and I think, oh here we go, this will give me something to talk about.
So after a handful or stories I chime in with my "funny angry dad" story.

"haha yeah my dad would always break into the bathroom because he was so impatient, it was nuts. He'd just barge in and start screaming at you even if you were mid dump because you were taking too long. On time I went to get in the shower and when I stepped a foot in, I realized I had to pee. So I turned around to the toilet, butt naked while the showers running. A moment later I hear the door get violently shaken as my dad jimmy's it open with a butter knife. He slammed it open, causing the doorknob to hit the small of my back and make me lose my footing and fall into the corner mid p**s. I'm literally upside down, p**s everywhere, I look up and see his face beet red pop around the door and scream "WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING" and I go "ME?! What the f**k are YOU doing!?" and then he just loses his s**t at me.. haha it was insane.. haha ... ha ...." (realize nobody is laughing and everyone is awkwardly quiet)

The dude sitting next to me, just goes... "dude... that's crazy abusive and f****d up"

and me, still not catching onto that fact goes "Hahaha oh man that's nothing."

"THATS nothing!?"

Oooo boy, did I ever walk away from that hangout with a lot of reflecting.
My mid twenties to early thirties has basically been a bunch of emotional trauma time bombs going off regarding my dad's side of the family after ticking away for 10-20 years.
Just a lot of angry, manipulative, lying, cheating and monstrous men gaslighting everyone to put up with them.

SomebodyThrow Report

Final score:

126points

POST

My O My 1 month ago

In my thirties and still learning that my childhood wasn't normal

13points

Kasmusser , Keira Burton/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

While trauma denial can provide temporary relief, it doesn’t lead to long-term healing.

“Trauma denial may be helpful in the short term. It allows the trauma survivor to stand up and get back on their feet,” says Sabina Mauro, a psychologist in Yardley, Pennsylvania. But as time goes on, avoidance takes its toll. “Ongoing trauma denial causes more suffering than there needs to be. Although trauma survivors may learn how to suppress this unpleasant experience from their past, their body and mind will continue to carry it until the trauma is confronted.”

Burying painful memories manifests in different ways. Some people might say, “It wasn’t a big deal. I’ve moved on,” or, “It wasn’t bad enough to be called trauma,” while others might deny that it ever happened.

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth The level of anxiety I felt growing up. everyone gets nervous sometimes. Not many people get nervous enough to start vomiting about minor stressors.

Final score:

113points

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Zoey Bear 1 month ago (edited)

The level I still feel is debilitating. Mental illness needs to be taken more seriously.

52points

Dagid_pl , Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Hoarding. Grew up in a hoarder house, didn’t realize until my teenage years that living in a house covered with hundreds of boxes, decade-old food, and cat p**s is actually bad for one’s health and hygiene. It’s also incredibly hard to unlearn.

Final score:

96points

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chickpea me 1 month ago

I have a hard time keeping my house presentable enough to have strangers coming inside unexpectedly. I have been trying to do something about this for years but with my ADHD, it’s really not as simple as you would think. But I maybe have a messy house, which I do feel ashamed of. I would never be ok leaving with a pet doing his busyness somewhere indoors and if this should happen by accident...It’s the first thing I would clean up immediately when coming home. If you are not familiar with ADHD paralysis? It is a real thing, impossible to explain and it makes you feel like a big failure. But NEVER ever did I had a pet leaving something inside and leave it stinking up my home. I can’t help but think these people need real help because next to being unimaginable it must also be highly unhygienic and a health hazzard.

38points

Dressed_Up_4_Snu_Snu , mikoto.raw Photographer / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth My sister going to the bathroom after every meal. She told me she had a bad stomach, but it turns out she's bulimic. Wish I could help her, but I can only support and love her with all my heart. We'll get through it, Cara.

Final score:

95points

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Sentina in the swamp 1 month ago

🥺

14points

BananaHairFood , Lazar Gugleta/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

One of the most heartbreaking aspects of unresolved trauma is how it can become ingrained and passed down through generations. For example, someone raised by parents who used physical punishment may believe it’s an effective way to raise children, thinking, “I turned out fine, so it must work.” Unfortunately, they often carry other emotional burdens along with this belief.

“They may also think that constant anxiety, meltdowns, trust issues, and coping mechanisms are normal and healthy,” says Nazarova. “It’s all about what our window of tolerance is.”

Breaking these harmful cycles is possible, but awareness is key. “Learning how to set healthy boundaries helps stop the transmission of harmful patterns, especially in relationships where past trauma may be affecting current behavior,” Nazarova explains.

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth When I was younger I used to hear the ice cream van at night as well as all throughout the day. One day I mentioned it to another kid and they all said I was crazy. Turns out, it was a stress reaction from what would go on to be my bipolar.

Final score:

82points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago (edited)

I did not know that stress reactions could make you hear things like ice cream vans. The brain is weird how it processes feelings.

50points

prettysouthernchick Report

I thought movies and shows of parents caring for their young kids was like Disney with princesses. I thought being 8 and knowing how to cook (self taught) was completely normal. It wasn't until I was around 14 I realized how fed up my life was.

Final score:

81points

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Ace 1 month ago

I still find it difficult to watch, in movies and TV shows, where kids and parents say they love each other. Makes me cringe, cos no, parents just don't do that. Well that's what I thought.

45points

Kirst_Kitty , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#10

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Was always tired. Sometimes multiple naps a day, sometimes falling asleep doing something. I figured I was just a sleepy person, or maybe it was because of my autoimmune disease. My dad kept telling me I had to see a doctor because how much I slept wasn’t normal. Turns out it’s type 1 Narcolepsy, worst case my specialist had ever seen.

Final score:

80points

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John Harrison 1 month ago

I've got a friend like this. His car insurance is through the roof because of his numerous accidents.

19points

luca_aaa , Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

While it can take time to address issues tied to unprocessed trauma, professional support can make the journey easier. Nazarova, for instance, specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to guide people through these situations.

“CBT allows people to recognize and address issues they might have thought were normal but are actually unhealthy,” she says. “For example, someone might believe that constantly pleasing others is the only way to maintain relationships because they grew up in a household where their needs were ignored. They might think, ‘If I don’t make everyone happy, I’m a bad person,’ because that’s how they’ve always lived.”

“In CBT, I work with them to see how this belief leads to behaviors like burnout or resentment. I challenge that thinking by asking, ‘Is it realistic to make everyone happy all the time?’ or, ‘What happens if you take care of your own needs first?’”

By understanding that constantly putting themselves last isn’t beneficial, they can start setting boundaries and prioritize self-care without guilt. “This realization helps break the cycle of harmful thinking and behaviors they’ve accepted as normal for so long,” Nazarova says.

#11

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth I thought that everybody has to go to a hospital at every three months for a check up and has their blood sample taken and ultrasound done.
Turns out no, my classmates where horrified when I began to explain in detail how does certain medical prodecures work and where I got my scar on my stomach.
To sum it up I had kidney cancer at the age of 4. It was so bad the surgeon had to remove my whole left kidney.
I really thought that this was normal.
My father is a cancer survivor, my mother has rheumatoid arcthitis. Going to any kind of doctor is basically a family trip for us.
Now I am more mindful of how I speak about this, because when I was younger I used to say things like "and thats how I got my blood drawn sixteen times on one day! But the nurse was so nice she played polly pockets with me after that! :D"
And the face my classmate and her mother made is burned into my head this day.

Final score:

76points

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"Disembodied voice" 1 month ago

I've been chronicly ill since I was born, definitely surprised others didn't spend as much time at the hospital as I did.

36points

jono454 , Kampus Production / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#12

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Snoring. Turns out I have sleep apnea and stop breathing 80+ times an hour.

Final score:

76points

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Lord of the laserprinter. 1 month ago

For Pete‘s sake, get a CPAP. Snoring can kill you in so many ways.

34points

ikindalold , Gustavo Fring / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#13

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Parents fighting *viciously* quite frequently across the scope of my upbringing then immediately act like nothing happened afterwards

Final score:

74points

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Pandarosa 1 month ago

One of my parents frightened and belittled the other, didn't matter if us children were in the room or not. We're all emotionally scarred in our own special ways, but we rock at black humour so there's that ....

27points

Changeurblinkerfluid , Sora Shimazaki/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#14

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Wife had weird fleeting stomach aches that would flare up conveniently when I wanted to go out to dinner or the kids needed a ride to school. We chalked it up as ulcers and she adjusted her diet. Turns out it was cancer—a really f****n deadly one—which announced itself when a tumor perforated her bowel and sent her in to septic shock.

Final score:

74points

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Red PANda (she/they/he/ze) 1 month ago

To everyone wondering if she’s okay, she had a bone marrow transplant and is recovering

159points

metalvessel , Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#15

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth I had a headache, which happens sometimes. I don't know that I'd call it "normal," but it's not so abnormal that I saw it as cause for immediate concern. Whatever, I'll just go to bed early, surely I'll be fine the next day.

A visit to the emergency department led to a nearly two-week stay in the hospital, where they administered an MRI, which led to a diagnosis of acute autoimmune idiopathic dissemminated encephalomyelitis.

In other words, for no readily apparent reason, my immune system decided something it should attack is the protein sheath that is the insulation for the complex circuit that is the brain. It's not supposed to do that.

Final score:

69points

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kitten levels tokyo 1 month ago

Thank you for creating more public awareness for AIDE.

31points

wifeunderthesea , Roman Davayposmotrim / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#16

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Having skin like velvet and being super duper flexible. turns out i have ehlers-danlos syndrome. whoops.

Final score:

69points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Is this bad? It sounds kinda cool from this description?

32points

#17

I had a friend growing up when we were 14 who had an older brother in his 30s that would hang out with us when we had parties and him and his friends would flirt with the girls. At the time we thought he was the coolest dude but now looking back at it he was just a predator.

novicemma2 Report

Final score:

69points

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kitten levels tokyo 1 month ago

A very yucky predator.

29points

#18

Antagonistic parents. People succeeding in spite of them instead of with their support. My parents abandoned me, my guardian was super abusive. The kids I knew at school also had wildly s****y parents in different ways (some had cult-level religious brainwashing, some were narcissistic and relied on children to take care of them instead of the other way around, etc). For the longest time I thought everything I and the people I knew had to deal with was just normal.

Silvervirage Report

Final score:

67points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

There is no such thing as normal.

31points

Ydok_The_Strategist Report

#19

Mormonism.

Final score:

67points

POST

ILoveMySon 1 month ago (edited)

My former office was attached to the home of my broker. The founder of Mormonism, Joseph Smith, lived there briefly. Every summer those on "pilgrimages" would stop and request tours and we obliged. They were nice but a little"off".

21points

GreatAd6193 , energepic.com / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#20

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Drunk driving, parents did it alot and honestly drove better drunk than normal, it wasn’t until I was 14 and a friend was driving me home after a beach party late at night and almost killed everyone in the car because he fell asleep for a few seconds.

Final score:

65points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

If you drink and drive you are absolute idiots endangering innocent people.

78points

#21

That repeat illnesses with pneumonia and sinus infections was just part of having allergies and asthma. Two years ago, at my annual appointment, my immunologist asked me to get a blood panel I’d never heard of before. I’ve had the test several times now, and it turns out it’s an antibody titer, and I don’t retain immunity to polysaccharide bacteria, even with repeat immunizations. I’ve had a pneumovax every year for almost 15 years and I have almost no immunity to 14 of the 23 variants tested, and, of the ones I do have some immunity to, only two have fully “protective” immunity. What kills me is that my mom, who was a critical care nurse, was convinced that I had something amiss with my immune system. She passed away in 2009 unexpectedly and I didn’t get to tell her she was right. Way to go, Mom!!

susanreneewa Report

Final score:

64points

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kitten levels tokyo 1 month ago

Mom knew.

35points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#22

Grew up with an erratic volatile unpredictable very unusual quite beautiful mother who I thought was “eccentric” and it was just normal to me. She spoke with a strong accent and was very silly and flighty and energetic and would enroll me in things but then sabotage the event—children’s pageants, department store modeling runways, local tv shows, summer children’s events, acting auditions, pets that were gifted but always disappeared after a week or so. I learned not to get attached to any thing or situation.

The upside tho was that I very quickly realized that, even as a very young child, I could not depend on her much and needed to always rely on myself for planning and safety and care. I became super-independent and capable at a young age. It made me very strong and creative and self-confident.

But it all got much worse later—public fits, outbursts, arson, nudity, inappropriate language—and we realized that she was mentally ill, finally diagnosed as schizophrenic, moved on to near-constant paranoid hallucinations and a frightening death.

This was all a long time ago tho. She passed more than 35 years ago.

lemeneurdeloups Report

Final score:

60points

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kitten levels tokyo 1 month ago

Arson and nudity are red flags.

20points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#23

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth I grew up routinely bullied by cousins for everything from the way I talked to the music I liked and even the way I walked and stood up. I didn’t think much of it because I assumed if they’re family it means they love you and the behavior is normal.

thedustoflife , Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

58points

POST

RainyCityMomma 1 month ago

I was bullied relentlessly by cousins, too. Then they called me a cry baby when I would eventually cry. I don't talk to any of my cousins now that we are all grown up.

38points

#24

That my dad would never speak to me. Like, at all. He would rarely eat meals with me, never asked about my day, or had any interest in what I'd been up to.

But, he would pounce on the opportunity to yell at me or belittle me for any perceived failure. There were never any mistakes or accidents, only personal failures that meant I was doomed for failure forever, and that meant I was utterly worthless.

It never ended as long as I lived with him, but he chilled out later after getting cancer. I intentionally rebuilt our relationship, mostly because I think he's probably autistic, definitely was abused as a kid, and was not able to form emotions in a healthy way, and because I want that closure when he does eventually pass away.

AbismalOptimist Report

Final score:

56points

POST

LaserBrain 1 month ago

That's a healthy reaction, rather than blame - throwing. His parents probably grew up in similar environments

50points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#25

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Health insurance. Masquerades as a way for people to be able to get healthcare but really doesn't give a damn about you or ensuring you actually get healthy. .

greenmachine11235 , Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

54points

POST

CatchTheWind 1 month ago

I think OP misunderstands the purpose of health insurance. It's not supposed to be "a way for you to get healthcare." It's a way to help reduce the financial burden of your healthcare. It's up to YOU to get that healthcare.

11points

#26

I thought being light headed and almost passing out and then panicking was normal for people. I had random spurts of it often, especially in middle school. My parents thought I was making it up, even after I did pass out once.

Turns out it was a mixture of anxiety attacks and chronic dehydration, with the stress of school. I can't hold water like most people can so I drink a lot every day. If I don't then I start getting the symptoms again.

sicksages Report

Final score:

54points

POST

Helena 1 month ago

There are a handful of us in the family who pass out. This combo would certainly explain it. We've been tested for just everything, never had a conclusive answer.

11points

WonderfulDrawing8585 , Artem Podrez/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#27

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth I thought that my brother coming into my room every night when i was a child was normal until my first boyfriend in middle school told me otherwise.

Final score:

52points

POST

Raven DeathShade 1 month ago

Yep, me and my sisters thought that my older brother groping us and trapping the youngest (9 at the time) in the laundry room with him for hours was normal. 6 years later...we now know it was not and he is dead to us.

44points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#28

I remember being a kid, my sister was barely 16 and invited some of her friends of the same age. One of them was dating a 24-year-old guy. I thought it was cool but as I grew up, I realized how f****d up it was.

donttalktomeimangy Report

Final score:

51points

POST

Ace 1 month ago

Was absolutely not uncommon in the 1970s and presumably earlier.

35points

#29

That your partner shouldn't cheat on you. I grew up with my dad constantly cheating on my mom and being her therapist through it. I would go through his phone for her or listen to them fight and then be the therapist for her the next day. I never knew how bad it was until I met my friends parents who loved one another, rarely fought, and never had issues with cheating. When I spoke about the things I knew (like my parents swinging) and how my life played out, they were HORRIFIED. I still struggle with being the therapist friend and allowing myself to be treated like s**t and cheated on....

BriBee1301 Report

Final score:

50points

POST

Jacquie Carr 1 month ago

You didn't "allow" anything; it was dumped on you and you did the very best you could

27points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#30

For me it was that my bed, which is just a box spring with legs, is supposed to have a mattress. I mean i do but its only an inch thick and cushions as much as your hoodie. So yeah, turns out i've been sleeping on a super hard spring for the past ten years. F**k you dad for cheaping out on my bed.

Brutustheman Report

Final score:

48points

POST

Dan Collins 1 month ago

I spent 20 years in furniture. So many parents went cheap on the kids mattress. If you really love your kids the should get the good mattress before you get your next whatever you think you deserve more.

22points

randomasking4afriend Report

#31

My mom discussing all of her life and marriage problems with me in middle school. Basically *wanted* me to believe my dad was up to no good and cheating. Also shared way too many details about their sex life, or the lack of one.

Their parenting was just a big mess, but everything seemed fine because there was no physical abuse, they had jobs and we lived in a nice house.

Final score:

46points

POST

John Harrison 1 month ago

If you know any social workers, or are one, you know this happens waaaay too much.

16points

#32

When the light switch finally came on and I realized I was, in fact, raised in a cult. I would not be able to list all the things that I was raised to believe were normal lmfao.

itsnotastatement Report

Final score:

45points

POST

Val 1 month ago

Well, now I want to know.

26points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#33

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Eating the same thing for a couple weeks in a row like rice or baked chicken.

sweetpealadyyy , Trista Chen / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

44points

POST

Red PANda (she/they/he/ze) 1 month ago (edited)

This is either irresponsible parenting or neurodivergent parenting. My dad will get obsessed with one food or restaurant for a week or two and we’ll eat it almost every day. His Belgian waffle phase was my favorite 😋

44points

#34

When i was a little kid i thought it was normal during big thunderstorms to hang out with your neighbors and shop vac water out of basements. turns out there was an actual problem in a wall of the basement that took* a while to find and fix.

Eternal_Bagel Report

Final score:

44points

POST

ILoveMySon 1 month ago

This is so much better than most on this list. It actually gave me a giggle.

37points

#35

Lots of abusive behaviors from my parents. I knew my childhood wasn't awesome, but didn't realize the extent until I'd pop jokes to my friends about some of that s**t and they'd look at me like 😐😶. Then I'd get self conscious and say something like "just a joke, it wasn't THAT bad..." It was usually worse.

gut_sack_ Report

Final score:

41points

POST

Tyranamar Seuss 1 month ago

Isn't interesting how many abusive families use "humor" and "joking" to cover up what psychopaths they are.

24points

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

See Also on Bored Panda

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#36

I always thought my mom just really loved me a lot since I was her only child. But looking back now as an adult, I think I was a victim of covert incest.

MacheteAndMeatballs Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Wtf? And what is covert incest? Is it different to just incest?

20points

#37

Constantly ruminating about things. Apparently not everyone does this.

YamLow8097 Report

Final score:

39points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

I am too busy thinking to find the time to ruminate.

11points

Mischiefmanaged715 Report

#38

To some degree I knew that my partner drinking a whole bottle of wine plus 6 beers in a day wasn't a normal thing when I first started dating him but the extent of the addiction and the affects of his health didn't become fully clear to me until some time had passed .

Final score:

39points

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Zoey Bear 1 month ago

Alcoholics need a strong support system. Unfortunately I am an alcoholic and double unfortunately, I do not have a strong support system with trying to quit. :-(

27points

#39

A school I went to used to give out around 10 pieces of homework everyday and at least half have to be handed in by the next day.

Turns out even by Asian school standard mine was insane.

542Archiya124 Report

Final score:

39points

POST

¬_¬ 1 month ago

My school does the same but each subject has 2 homework (except for triple science which has 3 homework for each science) so basically we get around 23 pieces of homework ;(

11points

NoRecording66 , cottonbro studio/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#40

40 Things People Believed Were Normal Until They Learned The Truth Smoking in adolescence. Well, I've been a smoker for 15 years now.

Final score:

34points

POST

Courtney Christelle 1 month ago

I smoked for 14 years starting when I was 14. Never too late to quit.

23points

Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

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Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

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What do you think ?

POST

Beak Hookage 1 month ago

I thought my explosions of uncontrollable emotion were just me being a naturally angry/sensitive person. Turns out I've been having autistic meltdowns my entire life and that it's not "normal" to have emotions so powerful they make you blow up because you can't handle it.

16points

Ash 1 month ago

Aw man, I had the same thing! Mine turned out to be bipolar. I knew mine wasn't "normal" because my parents were always making humiliating comments about me being overly sensitive, but it never crossed my mind that it was a mood disorder.

4points

Helena 1 month ago

It wasn't until a few years ago I realized not everyone went to the police station once a year to get photographed and fingerprinted. Turns out mom was justifiable scared I'd be kidnapped and took me for annual kidnap kits every year.

14points

Pandarosa 1 month ago

Oh my god!!! I am so sorry, what a frightening situation 🥺

5points

Sky Render 1 month ago

I spent my whole life thinking that it was normal to get tired after drinking soda or eating junk food. Turns out I have a corn allergy that's causing that. Which I only realized because it got bad enough that I was finally able to actually FEEL when my body started forcibly rejecting corn proteins.

13points

Ash 1 month ago

I didn't realize until a couple of years ago that the reason my gums hurt after I eat a whole apple is because I'm allergic to apple skins. (Yes, just the skins. Apples contain cyanide, and the skins have more cyanide than the flesh, so a lot of people are allergic to the skins only.) Weirdly, I can eat apple skins, but I have to slice the apple up first. It's only when I'm biting into a whole one that my gums react.

5points

Ash 1 month ago

I definitely thought it was normal to not really actually want to have sex. I couldn't figure out why everybody wanted to fake that all the time. Turns out they weren't faking, and I'm asexual. I think my parents are aspec too, and possibly my brother, so it's no wonder I thought it was normal.... Didn't figure out I was ace until my 30s. Apparently this is relatively common among aces, especially those of us who grew up before discussion of LGBT+ identities was commonplace.

7points

This panda votes 1 month ago

YES! Same! I thought everyone was exaggerating their interest just to look cooler. When I discovered there was a name for how I feel and that I wasn't the only one was such a huge relief and "a ha!" moment.

1point

Christopher Crockett 1 month ago

When I was about twelve, I became moody, with a lot of dark thoughts and suicidal ideology. This persisted all through high school, college, two failed marriages, career change. Early on, I was told that this was just how teenagers are, that they are always moody and they eventually grow out of it. As an adult I was told I was too emotional and needed to control my moods better. A few months shy of forty, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Well THAT explains a lot...

3points

This panda votes 1 month ago

so glad you finally got the diagnosis!

0points

Captive 1 month ago

Mine is harmless compared to these. I would get low sugar many times and just think I was very hungry. Turns out I was at the brink of an Insuline coma many times

3points

Puppy Dancing! 1 month ago

Harmless? Insulin coma is death

4points

lauren hughes 1 month ago

I thought it was normal for parents to pick their daughter's boyfriends. Ended up spending 4.5 years with my 36 year old 'partner'

3points

Puppy Dancing! 1 month ago

Ahhhgg how old were you that you were dating a 36 year old chosen by your parents?

0points

Shine Chisholm (they/ them) 1 month ago

I thought nobody actually felt like their assigned gender. It totally made sense to me that you could feel like you were assigned the wrong gender, but I genuinely didn't believe that AFAB people could feel like *women* or AMAB, *men.* I was in my late thirties when I figured out that I'm agender/ non-binary.

2points

Shine Chisholm (they/ them) 1 month ago

Ohh! I also thought that nobody actually likes penises. Clearly they are objectively kind of gross. Everyone knows that vulvas are magical. Women are just more attractive. And this is what happens when you tell your 14 year-old who's trying to come out that she's not a lesbian!

1point

sweet emotion 1 month ago (edited)

I was in college before I learned that not everyone has a soundtrack to their life. From the time of my first record (I think it was the Cinderella soundtrack - bippity boppity boo!) to now I nearly always have music playing in my head. It doesn't interfere with my other brain functions, and fortunately it isn't always the same music - except at 3 am when I can't go back to sleep because The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia is on a freakin' loop.

2points

This panda votes 1 month ago

I'm kind of jealous!

0points

Joanne Mendonza-Earle 1 month ago

For me, I could never relate to girls who were close to their mothers. When I was growing up the Paul Simon song, 'mother and child reunion' was popular and I absolutely didn't get it. I never felt bonded to my mom at all. She was so emotionally, verbally and mentally abusive to me. She'd pull the silent treatment but not tell me why she wasn't talking to me. I now realize that I was under tremendous stress and anxiety, always walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop with her. She gaslit me into thinking I was making it all up and remembering things incorrectly, such as: 'You could be so pretty if you lost weight/styled your hair/wore makeup/wore stylish clothes/etc' She was abusive right up till the day she died, which wasn't soon enough for me. I finally got my freedom at age 55 when she finally died. I couldn't even scare up a tear at her funeral. I finally admitted out loud that I never loved her, never bonded with her, and didn't respect her at all.

2points

Littlemiss 1 month ago

I feel you. That sounds like my mother to a tee. Never ever enough. Still waiting for mine to go.

1point

Cherise/Bunny (She/they) 1 month ago

I mostly had shutdowns combined with explosive behavior. It got always paited off as me having anger issues, until in one of my psychology classes that I needed to take to become a teacher (I didn't finish that training), I found out I have a textbook case of AuDHD. Quite a thing to deal with that, but I can't get diagnosed cause it would cost me €600-€1000 to get it tested

0points

Kerry Fletcher 1 month ago

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Brian Droste 1 month ago

This is the first time I seen this one. There been other post about kids not growing up normal though.

15points

POST

Beak Hookage 1 month ago

16points

Ash 1 month ago

4points

Helena 1 month ago

14points

Pandarosa 1 month ago

Oh my god!!! I am so sorry, what a frightening situation 🥺

5points

Sky Render 1 month ago

13points

Ash 1 month ago

5points

Ash 1 month ago

7points

This panda votes 1 month ago

1point

Christopher Crockett 1 month ago

3points

This panda votes 1 month ago

so glad you finally got the diagnosis!

0points