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Successful couples understand and accept the fact that there will always be things they don't agree with or don't like about each other. And that's fine; nobody's perfect.

But many people don't share their every thought and feeling with their significant other, either.

In fact, according to an international study of 80,000 people carried out by Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington, secrets and lies are commonplace in relationships. 43 percent of men and 33 percent of women say they keep major secrets from their partners, as well as 27 percent of those who say they're in an "extremely happy relationship."

Interested in how these two aspects collide, Reddit user Familiar_Stranger936 made a post on the platform, asking everyone to share what they dislike about their significant other and don't tell them about it. As of today, the post has 9.8K comments, many of which illustrate the quirks and pet peeves that folks choose to keep to themselves.

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#1

They’re taking way too long to find me

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    #2

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them I once pushed in my husband’s hemorrhoid while we were out of town so we could enjoy our vacation. There’s nothing I hate about him that I wouldn’t tell him after that.

    ETA: thanks for the awards! To answer a few questions: 1. He tried to do it himself and failed. 2. He had gone to the pharmacy and gotten Preparation H cream and gloves, so I didn’t go in bare-handed (I’m not an animal, guys). 3. An internal hemorrhoid can be pushed back in; an external one cannot. 4. I wrote that answer and went to sleep pretty soon after, and he hasn’t killed me as of this morning, but that may change once he’s seen the upvotes lol.

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    jacquelinewilliams avatar
    Nice Beast Ludo
    Nice Beast Ludo
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I clearly don't understand how hemorrhoids work and pray I never find out

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    #3

    That he’s not immortal. Selfish bastard.

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    #4

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them He’s really really bad at taking criticism. Really bad. And I can’t tell him this because feedback loop etc.

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    #5

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them That they expect an apology for every hurt feeling, but almost never take accountability or apologize for their own actions when they hurt other people.

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    Tom De Paul
    Tom De Paul
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one requires a discussion. You won't be able to live with this over the long term.

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    KingCobraKai
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    11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like when abusers at like they're are the abused when someone tells them they're being abusive.

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    #6

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them His sneezing.
    He is allergic and can't help it. But he scream-sneezes every day, usually several times in a row, and I HATE loud sudden noises.

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    lanebuckner avatar
    Water dog
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my explosive sneeze is coming on I can't talk. I wave my hand towards my wife and should be covers her ears. We've decided we are a funny couple.

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    #7

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them She watches YouTube/Tik Tok videos on her phone and refuses to use headphones/earbuds. I hate it.

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    Biytemii
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg my husband does this is makes me crazy! I have to turn up the TV or game I'm playing just to combat it. When it's endless changing sounds like tiktok videos and stuff it should absolutely be in headphones when u are around other people.

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    #8

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them My wife took singing lessons as a kid. She is certain that she has a great singing voice. She does not. It’s so hard to be in the same house when she’s singing but I love her dearly and would never ask her to stop.

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    Zoey Bear
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe give her some helium before she sings to change it up a bit? /jk

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    #9

    You don’t have to talk to fill silence, sometimes you can just sit in peace, you will not die I promise.

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    #10

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them I don’t necessarily hate this about him, but he doesn’t like to just kiss/make out. He will do it before sexy times, but not for very long. I love showing affection and intimacy by just making out sometimes and not having it lead to anything.

    He had some trauma with it, so I can’t blame him at all. I just really wanna make out with him more!

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    Seb Benson
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds like something which can be bridged over time. Or at least I hope so for OP & their partner.

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    #11

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them She’s one of those people that walks too slow in the grocery store and stands there looking at s**t forever trying to decide what to get not aware that 2 other people right behind her trying to grab what she’s in front of and go

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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If that’s the worst thing she does, you’ve got yourself a catch!

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    #12

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them The way she pronounces the word "hamburger" makes me die inside.

    "ham BIRD gr"

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    #13

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them They have the diet of a 5 year old.

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    #14

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them they’re not very intellectual. he’s a sweet and caring guy and incredible otherwise but sometimes I get frustrated with our conversations and the lack of mental stimulation

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    Diolla
    Diolla
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was married to a man who was illiterate and 100% uneducated except for Koran school. My motto was "When I need intellectual stimulation I'll talk to my BFF". Because he was a good man and we loved each other. Nobody is the full package.

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    #15

    I dont know, we are abnormally open about stuff like this to the point where it doesnt even matter anymore.

    We are both annoying and rude to each other and it comes out when we flirt. An outsider who doesnt know us or how we are would think that we are incredibly toxic until we start laughing about it. Ill pretend to complain about her snoring and she will say something like "good, i like it when you suffer because i dont like you". We will just randomly tell one another "you suck" or "you smell like the inside of my a*****e" and then laugh about it. Because im older than her she jokes about buying me one of those Life Alert bracelets because she isnt sure that i will make it through the night. I talk s**t about her cats.

    Love is really weird lol.

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    Jeevesssssss
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this! My best friends are really rude to me and vice versa. When you get to that point where it's just funny it means you're totally, completely secure in your love for each other so no part of you even thinks to take it seriously. Good job!

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    #16

    She's usually right. Damnit.

    Don't tell her I said that.

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    #17

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them I hate how she’s a bad listener. Never wants to know about my day, never takes my advice, never wants to know what’s wrong with me.

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    #18

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them That when a responsibility becomes too hard, he just doesn't do it and allows things to fester and become worse. Our storage that was lost, a tooth abscess that caused him intense pain I'm forcing him to deal with, and him not paying the registration on our car and it almost getting repossessed. I have no clue why he does this and I feel like I have to be his mother sometimes just to get him to be a responsible adult.

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    #19

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them The sound he makes when he eats bagels. Not everything, just bagels, and he eats bagels every morning for breakfast. It’s disgusting.

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    Kathleen McGann
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to hate the sound of my ex-husband breathing. Not making a lot of noise breathing. Just breathing. Clearly indicating that I needed to leave before I stopped him.

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    #20

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them His snoring. It's not something he can necessarily control but he snores SO loud that it disrupts my sleep.

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    Kelly H. Wilder
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Possibly sleep apnea...a CPAP might help if so. It's worth seeing a doctor about because apnea can be fatal.

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    #21

    He tells me s**t I already know.

    For awhile I started saying "I already know that" or " I was right there remember" but after awhile of doing that he started acting so odd, almost unhappy, so I stopped.

    It's part of who he is, and that's okay. Annoying as f**k but but it is a very small % of the big picture. He started doing it last night and I imagined him being an actor and he's going over his lines.

    Helped me deal.

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    Steve Nelson
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandpa used to say, "if you have heard this story before don't say anything. I want to hear myself tell it again."

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    #22

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them He’s a bad kisser. I tried hard to communicate and help in the beginning of the relationship, but nothing worked or stuck. It’s been a lot of years. I gave up.

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    Kathleen McGann
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you start a relationship with someone whose kisses you don't enjoy?

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    #23

    Heavy one incoming:

    I have never forgiven my partner for what he did during my nan's final days.

    We had been together for four years at that point and she died a slow, painful, confusing death thanks to stroke. The week of her death, while i'm still waist deep in grief (we were close) he chooses that moment to tell me he wasn't sure the relationship was working and he wanted to take some time out.

    We slept in seperate beds after that and I cried myself to sleep, alone, every night for days.

    The day of her funeral, he sat at the opposite end of the pew to me, listening to me sob.

    A few days later he comes to me and tells me he's still confused about where we're heading but he wants to keep trying.

    9 years later, we're married, we have a daughter and a house and two dogs, I've nursed him through his own nan's passing, I've nursed him through his father's passing. I've always been there when he had to cry and I held him every time...

    And I have never forgotten. Or forgiven. I hate him for it.

    And I'll never tell him that.

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    Fiona Corrigan
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You need to tell him. This is eating you up and you need to give him the opportunity to apologise. Tell him how it made you feel then and how you feel now and what you want from him. You then need to be aware he wasn't expecting this conversation so give him time to think about it and come back for another talk when you're both ready.

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    #24

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them How indecisive she can be. We've talked and she's doing better. But it is extremely exhausting to plan nearly every single date/event/thing we do.

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    #25

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them That she sounds like a horse when she eats a bowl of cereal.

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    SuperChicken
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is Op for real? It's just that, this is too funny and I've never heard anyone eat a cereal sounding like a horse. I wonder if the partner kicks her leg and neighs, at the same time. (Ok, showing myself out now...)

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    #26

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them He takes about 5 years to tell a story. Takes little detours and goes into too much info about random stuff I don’t really need to know in order to understand the story! I mean don’t get me wrong it’s funny at the best of times but when you’re in a hurry and your waiting for the story to end 🤦🏼‍♀️

    **EDIT:** he's 100% not got ADHD, my little brother has that. If anything he is the complete opposite. He's just extremely calm and likes to take his time, acts like he has all the time in the world to tell a story!

    cookiedough1414 , Matheus Bertelli Report

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    thequickening avatar
    the quickening
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can be attention deficit without being hyperactive. Outwards, it seems completely different from ADHD, but the inner troubles are the same. Not being able to tell what's important vs. mere fluff is one of the biggest things.

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    #27

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them Disappears every night, rather than spending time with me and the kids. Doesn’t help with cleaning up after dinner, even though I always cook. Complains about being tired when I am the only one getting up with our baby for the night feed. Granted, he does have insomnia and got s****y sleep before the baby, but I’m the one who endured a horrible pregnancy, Delivery and now newborn sleep deprivation, so I kind of don’t want to hear it.

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    #28

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them Her brothers are a******s, I totally dislike them.

    Just_a_tired_banana , https://www.pexels.com/photo/two-men-wearing-casual-clothing-standing-at-brick-wall-8133026/ Report

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    Auntriarch
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It would be hard to find two people less alike than my brother and my husband. But they get along, they are both decent chaps.

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    #29

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them How low her patience is & how fast she can get irritated, and i know how she is & I know she doesn’t mean it 99% of the time, but sometimes it has me overthinking and I feel like she just hates me

    NearbyPage6955 , Keira Burton Report

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    Realistic Optimist
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    12 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, if this isn't being addressed, you should consider therapy, either couples or personal. It's impossible to have a healthy relationship without healthy conflict resolution, and you feeling that way is a huge sign of poor conflict resolution. And, please don't blame yourself for feeling insecure in your relationship! Accept that your are feeling a certain way for a reason and know that your emotions are telling you something. Really listen to your emotions, and when you're ready, go to your partner. If she cares about you, she will listen and take you seriously. If she doesn't or gaslights you, it's a toxic relationship.

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    #30

    30 People Anonymously Reveal The Thing They Hate About Their Partner But Could Never Tell Them I wake up teetering on the edge of the bed, every f*****g night. We have a king size bed and she is petite, I tell her but it doesn’t matter. Every. F*****g. Night.

    1980pzx , cottonbro studio Report

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    Kelly H. Wilder
    Kelly H. Wilder
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    12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Separate beds can be a wonderful solution to many sleep issues. We can not help how active we are in our sleep, so if you are a still sleeper with a moving partner sleeping separately may be best for both of you. This could also be a help for differences in temperature preference or if one person is touch-averse.

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