Being invited into a friend’s home can feel like a huge honor. They’re opening up their humble abode to you, and you have the opportunity to get an intimate peek into their life. They might have family photos on the walls, artwork from childhood on the fridge and dozens of books that mean the world to them lining the shelves.
But visiting someone else’s house can backfire when you start to notice things that terrify you. Redditors have recently been discussing some of the worst things that you could possibly find in someone else’s home, so we’ve gathered the biggest red flags below. Enjoy reading through, and be sure to upvote the things that would send you running for the hills!
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If they have children, but you see no sign of a child in the home outside of their bedroom.
Edit: I do not mean the home is trashed. I mean you see no photos, no coats, shoes, toys anything indicating a child lives there too. For example I tidy up every night, but you’ll still see my toddlers shoes by the door and his little paw patrol table in the living room. & photos around the house of him of course
Another edit: I am not going back and fourth with you sad beige parents that live for aesthetics. If you don’t get it I’m not explaining it.
House made of sweets and gingerbread. Boiling cauldron over chimney fire.
Large political flags on the wall. I don't care what your political affiliations are, if you are that obsessed with it that you feel the need to hang a huge flag in your living room to announce them, that's a no from me.
I did some real estate photography on a home.
It was a Mass State Trooper. It was disturbing: A nice neighborhood, a nice home, clean and well maintained. Kids and wife photos decorating the walls and end tables. But I started noticing holes punched into walls (some of them plastered and repaired, some of them "fresh". Doors that had been splintered at the bottom from being kicked in. A couple doors that had padlocks on them that had been ripped out. There were just signs of rage everywhere I looked. It was disturbing and I felt bad for the family.
They need way better screening and treatment of police for mental health issues.
I change the bathroom towels in our guest bathroom every Friday. One Friday I told my son to go wipe up the urine he left on the seat & floor and then watched this imposter of my DNA, wipe the urine with a hand towel and hang it back up, in front of me. I've never wanted to disown a relative more in my life.
As a parent, this made me smile, not because of what he did ofcourse. But sometimes we forget that we never taught them how to do something. It kinda depends on his age though. At a certain age you could expect them to figure out to use toilet paper for that. But at other ages I am unfortunately not surprised that they do not think about what to use to wipe something up. My kids had the habit of taking a clean dishtowel (theedoek) from the cupboard to clean up spills. Instead of a rag (doekje) or a towel that was in use/more ready for a round of laundry. On one hand, ok, you are cleaning it up, but aaargh!
This extreme beigeness. Especially if there are kids. I saw videos of parents painting colorful toys beige. It's just sad.
I don't understand this at all. It feels so impersonal. I dislike overly matched and perfectly decorated houses too. Being in someone's home should tell you who they are, but an overly-curated home always makes me feel like they're trying to hide themselves.
Crosses / jesus s**t everywhere.
For clarity, as this one seems to be dividing, I read this as; 'People with a LOT of religious iconography' I don't think they mean just a crucifix or two, but like, a cross in every room, or a shrine type setup.
Dirty litter boxes if they have cats, and I mean filthy.
I don’t know if I’d go as far as “red flag”, but people who have zero books in their home give me pause.
Really gnarly aquarium. If you’re gonna trap fish in a box for your personal pleasure, keep that s**t pristine.
Pristine aquariums are not healthy environments for the fish. Much of that gunk is bacteria that takes the ammonia secreted by the fish and breaks it down into less toxic substances. One of the biggest mistakes new fish keepers make is to do regular deep cleaning. Regarding the picture here, that's just a buildup of algae on the glass. While it may be unsightly, it is not unhealthy for the fish.
My bicycle that I reported stolen 2 weeks ago. Big Red Flag.
I was looking at an apartment to rent in a very liberal part of the USA. Place was great! I’d have a huge windowed area and lots of nice amenities like a fireplace. I went to the other part of the place where the landlord lived. Above *his* fireplace was a portrait. A portrait of Nathan Bedford Forrest. Founder of the KKK. I noped right the f**k out of there.
Trashy neighbor's dog died in a kennel, probably from starvation.
They ignored the body until well after rigor set in, and then they couldn't get it out of the cage because the limbs wouldn't bend. So they just left it in there, in the house, surrounded by piles of garbage
Their 10-year-old eventually asked other neighborhood adults for help because the parents wouldn't do anything about it.
So... dead dog rotting in a cage is my red flag.
OMFG >.< I'd have had the cops, RSPCA, and anyone else I could think of on their fkn doorstep.
When they let their pets poop and pee in the house. Bonus if they let their kid sleep in a room that is essentially a massive litter box.
When they don't do basic preparation for a preplanned guest coming over. For example, there's no toilet paper, they don't offer you anything to drink, house is really messy.
First thing I do when I know I'm having people over is clean the toilet and make sure there's enough TP
Growing up my mom always told me if I saw a gun in someone's home to politely leave and call her and that she'd pick me up. How to tell in one quick story that someone was raised outside of the United States. I still get a jolt when I see a rifle in someone's house, I understand that there is responsible gun owners but I am not fond of being near weapons even when properly stored.
If you see it then it's probably not properly stored, in a closed cabinet.
Dish rack was in the sink and had black mold on it, they put clean dishes on it to dry i was horrified they also just put water in the baby bottles and let them soak and used them. Never actually washing the bottles HORRIFIED.
A collection of young women's ID cards.
When they use the sofa as a changing table with no blanket or anything on it. I went to someone's house and the kid had a blow out. The mom just put the baby with poopy diaper on the sofa to change her and looked at me when my jaw hit the floor and said "What's the big deal? It's just poop!" I never went there again.
It also explains why they purchased a brown sofa. 🤢.
We were looking at a litter of German Shepherd puppies. Very large house, lots of land. Looked rather posh.
The mum and pups were in the kitchen. Dog poo, puddles of urine everywhere.
I managed to step in 💩
Owner said ‘oh sorry! Give me your boot and I’ll clean it’.
I assumed she had an outside tap? Oh no…she took it to the kitchen sink and washed it there.
We declined a cup of tea.
Books on Dianetics
My phone kept changing that to diabetics.
One major red flag is if their home feels too sterile or empty—like they don’t actually live there. Also, lots of signs of anger, like holes in the walls, can be concerning!
Homes that are SO tidy & sterile that I feel I'm making a mess just by breathing!
They had only one kitchen cloth. Just that ONE. Used for wiping hands, wiping the counter, wiping the dishes, and wiping the microwave/stove after cooking.
I still have to colour code the kitchen cloths or my partner would use the same one for drying hands and face, the dishes, wiping floors, cleaning the cat litter box, alternative currency and summoning spirits
Roaches and people who smoke cigarettes inside. Heretics.
There was a guy who posted on r/malelivingspace who has 3 ‘obey’ prints above his bed.
Cr*ck pipe, cats but no litter box, liquor bottles are the only decoration you can find, barely any furniture.
No furniture, black garbage bags as window curtains, and a box spring with no sheets just a dirty blanket..
That sounds more like poverty. At least they are covering the windows. Curtains are expensive.
Right, some people cannot afford to buy nice curtains and sheets. It’s not a red flag.
Load More Replies...Do you know their situation. Maybe all they can afford is a room. I know of someone who could afford the rent and child support with a little leftover for food. Took them a long time to be able to afford second hand furniture. You have to understand what someone is going through or has been through.
sounds like they're just poor to me can't really judge with no context
Black garbage bags on windows aren't curtains, they're DIY insulation
Roaches. My in laws place is full of roaches and they act like it's no big deal.
It depends. You can do everything right and still have roaches. Especially if you live in an apartment building or close to others with a roach infestation. My dorm in college had roaches the second semester because they were building a sports complex 30 feet away. All the roaches living in the field came to the dorms.
One of my best friends from middle school invited me to spend the night one weekend and their house was so unbelievably *nasty*. It was more than just trash and dirty clothes all over the place. My friend’s older sister had a baby and they even had dirty diapers and food scraps throughout their apartment. Aside from some odd behavior from their mom who was gone pretty much the whole time we were there. We went swimming in their apartment pool that same weekend and my friend told me that her mom actually had a d**g problem and she sometimes just wouldn’t see her for days at a time. So now I think any unusual amount of trash could indicate a serious issue someone there must really be going through something in order for their house to be looking like *that*.
Bare mattress on the floor. No duvet cover or pillow cases. Crusty hand towels that haven’t been changed in days or weeks.
Duvet cover is too much of a pain, I have a sheet between me and the blanket anyway
Toilet paper roll facing in the wrong direction.
Any time my dad argues that there is no "right" way to hang toilet paper I show him a picture of the original patent for it. He's a patent attorney. :)
Crushed prescription pills lying all over the living room coffee table.
Some on this list are just really funny but some are just really snobby. No evidence of hobbies or books! That's not a red flag some people don't like reading and don't have hobbies.
I'm dyslexic, the books are just a decoration lol. I don't feel like struggling for a week to finish a few chapters, audiobooks all day.
Load More Replies...For me it's a dirty kitchen. I can't deal with it. I'm talking like piles of dirty dishes in the sink, food scraps, nothing has been wiped down. Even down to the cloth used.
Don’t judge the bath towels! I don’t know where my kids haul them off to but I’m TRYINg!!! 😩
This is on the more superficial side, but I don't enjoy going to people's homes when they don't know how to use chill, entertainment lighting...like no warm lamps or even some candles or string lights. They just have on all the overheads with bright/flourescent lights...AND when it's cold in their house. Both of those things don't make me feel comfy or welcome..it makes me feel like I'm in my office, where I spend 40 hrs a week already. How bout no music?! Like how do you entertain and it's cold, brightly lit, and nothing in the background?
Thank you for sharing your point of view. I needed to read it.
Load More Replies...nice guy lived in the building that i was in. eventually, he asked me to come by for dinner. so, sure - why not? knocked on his door and when he opened it the first thing i saw was that pretty much every place on the walls were cut outs of women from men's magazines. i mean they were everywhere. so, i quickly came up with an excuse as to why i couldn't stay for dinner and left. it was just so creepy. he still asked me over a few more times until i told him that i had entered into a relationship with someone and i was very happy with the situation. the new love of my life: a doberman puppy.
Went to visit some family friends who live in England. Their entire house was covered in stuff. All over every table, counter, seat, couch. They had two young kids who had to snake their way through a tiny path in the back yard because the grass was taller than they were. It's not that the house was dirty, there was just stuff everywhere. When we ate supper, I couldn't even fit my plate on the table because of everything piled up. Friend moved the stuff when he saw I didn't have space. But who doesn't neaten up their house for guests?
After reading this, I am so glad that I've cleaned my bathroom this morning. Including changing the towels and the bathmat like every week.
I love a clean house. It's easy to get motivated now if I have a podcast or audio book to listen to awhile I work on it.
I can't stand people who can't keep their pets clean. You go over to their house and petting their dogs is like petting a greasy Towel. Plus in those kids of houses, there's pet hair stacked up in the corners of the room and so thick on the furniture you don't want to sit on it.
Went to pick up a coworker and they had an engine block on the floor in the kitchen. AND a hole in the floor big enough to fall into the basement.
I commented on these posts way too seriously. Red flags is often a culmination of things. And somethings shouldn't be called red flags if they are THAT obvious or if they're criminal/abuse. Abuse is not a red flag, it's abuse. A red flag to me is an indication of someone possible being bad/not sane. If there is clear evidence... skip the flags and leave.
Some on this list are just really funny but some are just really snobby. No evidence of hobbies or books! That's not a red flag some people don't like reading and don't have hobbies.
I'm dyslexic, the books are just a decoration lol. I don't feel like struggling for a week to finish a few chapters, audiobooks all day.
Load More Replies...For me it's a dirty kitchen. I can't deal with it. I'm talking like piles of dirty dishes in the sink, food scraps, nothing has been wiped down. Even down to the cloth used.
Don’t judge the bath towels! I don’t know where my kids haul them off to but I’m TRYINg!!! 😩
This is on the more superficial side, but I don't enjoy going to people's homes when they don't know how to use chill, entertainment lighting...like no warm lamps or even some candles or string lights. They just have on all the overheads with bright/flourescent lights...AND when it's cold in their house. Both of those things don't make me feel comfy or welcome..it makes me feel like I'm in my office, where I spend 40 hrs a week already. How bout no music?! Like how do you entertain and it's cold, brightly lit, and nothing in the background?
Thank you for sharing your point of view. I needed to read it.
Load More Replies...nice guy lived in the building that i was in. eventually, he asked me to come by for dinner. so, sure - why not? knocked on his door and when he opened it the first thing i saw was that pretty much every place on the walls were cut outs of women from men's magazines. i mean they were everywhere. so, i quickly came up with an excuse as to why i couldn't stay for dinner and left. it was just so creepy. he still asked me over a few more times until i told him that i had entered into a relationship with someone and i was very happy with the situation. the new love of my life: a doberman puppy.
Went to visit some family friends who live in England. Their entire house was covered in stuff. All over every table, counter, seat, couch. They had two young kids who had to snake their way through a tiny path in the back yard because the grass was taller than they were. It's not that the house was dirty, there was just stuff everywhere. When we ate supper, I couldn't even fit my plate on the table because of everything piled up. Friend moved the stuff when he saw I didn't have space. But who doesn't neaten up their house for guests?
After reading this, I am so glad that I've cleaned my bathroom this morning. Including changing the towels and the bathmat like every week.
I love a clean house. It's easy to get motivated now if I have a podcast or audio book to listen to awhile I work on it.
I can't stand people who can't keep their pets clean. You go over to their house and petting their dogs is like petting a greasy Towel. Plus in those kids of houses, there's pet hair stacked up in the corners of the room and so thick on the furniture you don't want to sit on it.
Went to pick up a coworker and they had an engine block on the floor in the kitchen. AND a hole in the floor big enough to fall into the basement.
I commented on these posts way too seriously. Red flags is often a culmination of things. And somethings shouldn't be called red flags if they are THAT obvious or if they're criminal/abuse. Abuse is not a red flag, it's abuse. A red flag to me is an indication of someone possible being bad/not sane. If there is clear evidence... skip the flags and leave.