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While on average, a person has around 27 conversations a day, the fact is that only a handful of them will stay with us over a lifetime. Chances are, the ones that end up shifting how you see things are directly related to your family and friends.
Someone asked “What was said that forever changed your relationship with someone?” and people shared the most poignant examples from their lives. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorite examples and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

#1

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I was a single parent, bringing a bunch of my 12 yr old son's friends out to pizza and a movie. We were all crammed into two cars, and one child was next me on the driver's seat. I was talking to all of them about the birthday and what fun we were going to have and he whispered under his breath "I wish you were my Mom". I quietly said to him, "I am sure you have a great Mom and she loves you very much." His name is E. His wish eventually came true.

Over time I realized E lived with his Dad and his Mom was in jail for d***s. He had only met with his Dad a few times before he placed in his care. His Dad lived with a girlfriend, and this boy was sleeping on the floor of her den. He didn't even have a bed.

He kept asking to sleep over Fridays, Saturday, etc.. sometimes I would have him from Friday afternoon until Sunday night, and all the while no one ever called him to say Good night, or ask how he was doing, did he need any clothes? nothing. Once in the middle of the night, my phone rang and it was his Dad who was asking if E could stay with me for a little while, as he and the girlfriend were now split up. I said yes, of course.

That was in 7th grade. I had him all thru High School and thru college. Kids in school knew he lived with me, and when they were 14 a police car pulled and another child got out and walked right into my house. His name is G.

G's parents both went to jail, and when the police asked him if he had a place to go he said he knew of a lady that takes care of kids. In all of my life, I think that is the most wonderful thing ever said about me.

We by-passed the State and just let them stay as long as they needed. Occasionally I would hear from their parents, but it was basically a terrible situation for both of them.

My actual son is 30, and my two adopted kids are both 31 years old now and everyone is doing great. Finished college, got good jobs, getting married, having kids. It is all good.

Editing to say: Having these boys in my son and my my life added so much fun and joy every day. Was it hard? Sometimes, but mostly, just normal. I was not rich; I think I made about $43k a year back then. And they ate so much food! So much food. LOL but it was fine. Don't think of the cost, think of what is the right thing to do and trust the universe has your back. Leap with faith.

Props to my friends, family and especially my parents who became instant Grandparents to them and included them in every holiday, birthday, etc.

If God puts a child in your path, and you are given the chance to take them in, you will want two things: Their parent has to tell both the school and the doctors office that you are caring for them. Get it in writing in case or an emergency. I was able to bring them to the doctor and dentist, and go to Parent /Teacher conferences once that happened.

2nd Edit to say Thank you to everyone for your kind words! Honestly I gained so much more than I gave them. It was wonderful, and is still wonderful to be in their lives. I do not consider myself special, because could anyone say no to a child in need? I can't imagine they would.

I'm happy to answer questions you have. It was an adventure! From sports, to band practices, concerts, homework, laundry, family meetings every week, sex and d**g talks, girlfriends, teaching them how to drive.... Lol. What a trip!

One-Internet-1982 , Gustavo Fring Report

#2

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I met my wife back in college. I was her English tutor. At the time, I was dating a woman with a very manipulative personality. I was not used to having a girlfriend, wasn't confident and she insulted/ humiliated me when she couldn't get what she wanted or was in a bad mood.


So my student, let's call her A and my girlfriend (at the time) let's call her K, ended up meeting in the middle of a tutoring session. K was mad that I was with another woman, even though I was being PAID to tutor her. She interrupted us, saying she was gonna be helping and 'keeping an eye on us.'


She didn't help. Instead, K made rude comments and jokes at A's hard time pronouncing L and R sounds. (Pretty understandable, given those sounds aren't too common in Japanese.) A couldn't understand, but she could tell she was being insulted. The look on her face was pretty hurtful. Then and there I grew a pair.


After a brief and rather embarrassing argument, where I told K that she was being disrespectful and she should just f**k off until I'm done, she stormed off. I apologized profusely to A, saying today's fee was free, and I'd understand if she wanted to find another tutor. Instead, she completely flipped the script.


She said that after all the help I'd given her, she could tell that I was a kind guy. That and her English skills were getting much better with my help. It was just strange to her that somebody like me was with someone as mean as K.
"You're here working and your girlfriend didn't even bring you any food! That is weird in Japan!"


Needless to say that caused me to rethink my life. But what sold it was our next session. This woman made a whole bento lunch, by hand, to our lesson. We're talking rice balls, cut weiners, eggs, the whole 9 yards. It was delicious. I was floored. And I thought, if this was how she'd treat her tutor, how would she treat her man!? A went from student to diamond in my eyes.


And so I broke up with K. Over the following months, A and I got closer. We kept in contact after she went back to Japan. One long distance relationship and 7 years later I live in Japan now. We're married with two boys and a girl on the way. All because of a little kindness.

Edit: thank you all for the love and upvotes!

WeissCrowley , Zen Chung Report

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#3

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever My mom was dying. A friend told me "you have your whole life to freak out about this-- *don't do it in front of her.* "

It really helped me to understand that my feelings are not always what's important. It IS possible to delay a freakout, and that skill has served me innumerable times.

SweetheartAndSin , Jsme MILA Report

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Karina
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It takes compassion to say, maturity to to hear, and strenght to follow ❤️

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#4

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I told a bare acquaintance that I was going through a divorce. She asked, "Am I happy for you or sad for you?"

It was so nice to have someone acknowledge that a divorce could be something I could be happy about. It was also so empowering for her to essentially ask me which way she could be emotionally supportive of me.

notreallylucy , cottonbro studio Report

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TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nice. And wise. And I learned something new today, thank you 🙂

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#5

“It’s just a f****n’ dog.”

When our dog died.

Good riddance you c**t.

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#6

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever My dad had recently committed suicide a week before Christmas. There were no signs he was going to do this. It was totally a blindside. I decided to still do spring break in March, with my 3 best friends at my mom’s beach house to relax and get away. My best friend started breakfast one morning by asking if I saw any signs my dad was gonna commit suicide. I said no and my boyfriend (now husband) who came along agreed that he was always happy and it was out of the blue. She said to me verbatim “there were definitely signs, you just missed them. If you would’ve paid attention your dad would still be here. It’s technically your fault”…… after we all got home I immediately cut her off, she wasn’t invited to my wedding let alone as a bridesmaid anymore that upcoming october and I blocked her on everything. 3 years and a lot of anxiety d***s later and that comment still f***s me up
EDIT: Did not realize this would get so popular ➡️ if anyone you know has done this and you feel like you “missed the signs”….don’t. It is not your fault! you loved them the best you could, and they still love you, wherever they are now in this cosmic crazy universe. Live life to your fullest so when you meet again you can give them the most hella updates on what happened.

madi2435 , cottonbro studio Report

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Jihana
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And even if you missed the signs, you MISSED them, you did not willfully ignore them. You can't act on something you do not see or know.

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#7

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I wasn’t feeling much after my dad died and we hadn’t been close in years, but still he was my dad. My friend said that I had been grieving this relationship for years already. It helped.

lewisae0 , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Excellent friend. Sharp observation and wording. Keep that one.

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#8

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I was a dinosaur kid when I was little. Consumed books and information. I wanted to be a palenontologist. This was all maybe 6 to 10 years old. My obsession cooled a little bit, but I still really think they're awesome.

My aunt and her family are very Christian. My whole family is, but she was a lot more hard lined. She homeschooled her kids, didn't own a working television, and restricted a lot of food as well. Just a controlling person, really, but we didn't see them often, and she was just quirky to me.

One time, during a visit, I mentioned something about dinosaurs. I was maybe 13 years old. In a sweet but condescending tone, she said there was never such thing as dinosaurs. I countered with the fact that we have so many bones. She told me that Satan put the bones in the earth to defy God and have everyone question Him.

In that moment, I understood how insane she was and that adults are just people and can be idiots as well.

HahaYouCantSeeMeeee , Diego F. Parra Report

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Sorry, Crowley, no time to find the Antichrist or terrorize house plants. You're in charge of burying bones. Get on with it."

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#9

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever My friend said to me “you wouldn’t let a boyfriend treat you like this, so why would you let your mother?”

I dumped her shortly after that (my mother, not the friend). I’m so much more at peace.

Pretty-Somewhere6242 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

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Nina
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be used a measurement. For some reason, we're supposed to take shít from family that we wouldn't take from anyone else. Let's stop that way of thinking and don't take shít anymore from people just because they're family.

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#10

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever In my late 20s I was thinking about going to college, but I was afraid I was too old. Someone said to me, "Next year you will be older." I applied the next day.

Cosimia1964 , Element5 Digital Report

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Annik Perrot
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The best time to plant à tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is right now."

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#11

My husband: You WILL accept (woman he was having at least an emotional affair with) as part of my life if you come back home.

Me: l will NOT.

Two weeks later:

Him: I guess, if you're going to be such a baby about it, l'll stop seeing (her).

Me: Nope. You picked her over me. You keep right on seeing her, l'm done.

Nanatomany44 Report

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TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Way to go! (in this case, it happens to be literally, but that was unintentional)

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#12

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I live in New Zealand. We have a complicated history when it comes to speaking Te Reo Maori (native language) in this country. For a long time Maori weren't allowed to speak their own language and would literally be beaten at school etc for it. Now there's a huge push to bring it back. There's a lot of tension around it, especially between old white people and pretty much everyone else. People are so blatantly racist and don't realise it. They'll refuse to pronounce Maori names and words correctly, even when told over and over again. This especially applies to place names, even the word Maori itself. I digress. A close family friend died when she was only 19. Her mother is Maori. At the funeral, her maternal grandfather spoke in Maori. My grandmother, who was standing next to me, leaned closer and whispered in my ear, in an aggressive tone "speak English!". She was literally angry that a man was speaking his own language at his own granddaughter's funeral. In that moment I lost all respect for my grandmother.

AriasK , Rhodi Lopez Report

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#13

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever Had a dr tell me, 3 inches from my face, “there is absolutely nothing wrong with you”. He seemed livid that I was wasting his time. Never ran a single test. Then recommended a psychiatrist. Once I finally found a new doctor he found that I have late stage cancer. Could have been caught much earlier if the 1st dr listened.

Also, had a friend tell me that she had already grieved my impending death so that’s why I haven’t seen or heard from her most of my cancer battle. I was already dead to her. I have no trust in anyone at this point.

cancer4fighter , SHVETS production Report

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ZGutr
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those are the worst. We had an issue with a doctor once. He held on to his suggestion rather than listening to our needs. When he called to confirm we where gonna follow his recommendations I sat him straight, explained how he failed us as a doctor and how this was our last interaction, we will find an other. Told him the main reason was him not listening at all. When I put down the phone and turned around I got a standing ovation from the two nurses that where present at our house.

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#14

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever "We're both too angry and hungry to keep this conversation going. Let’s drop it for now, get some food, and relax. I'll cook if you do the dishes." She taught me some valuable rules for arguments: never argue right after work or coming home, never argue when you're dehydrated or hungry, and never start an argument if you're not willing to compromise.

She's an amazing woman who helped me so much when I was younger. She still supports me, and we even play D&D together with her wife. I can't wait to see her next year.

well_this_blows , Yan Krukau Report

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Kevin B
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When having a disagreement, I try to remind myself that I'm talking to the person I love, don't say anything that would hurt them.

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#15

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever My father said "yes I know and I don't support you." (I will never forget those words) when I told him that I filed a police report on the man who molested me as a child.

He didn't even look like the same man to me the next time I saw him.

billymackactually , cottonbro studio Report

#16

My ex passed away, leaving me to raise my two kids, who both had disabilities alone. Instead of dealing with the trauma, I drank always dumped my kids on my mum to go drink this happened for a few month before my Nanna invite me over to house to have a chat. She told me I had to stop running from my pain because I had to go through to get through it (my nan lost a adult child 20 years ago). What do you know she was right I stopped avoiding everyone including the kids stopped drinking all the time and she was there for me without judgement and I honestly don't know if I'd be here if it wasn't for her.

Foreign_Fall_8266 Report

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G A
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nans know some stuff. They are like little pink knitting Yodas.

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#17

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever My grandmother's dog died and I went to her house to comfort her. We'd always been very close so I stayed for a while even though we had been fighting quite a lot.

Well, I went over there and she cried while I comforted her. But then that's when she said something that still sticks in my head.

She told me "Why couldn't something happen to you instead"

And walked away. I immediately went back home and stopped all contact with her for a few weeks. She still denies saying that.

EDIT: I wanted to say thank you to everyone for the kind words. To answer a few questions, yes I am still in contact with her as she only lives a few houses down from me. ( It's hard to cut off someone that close )

I distance myself though, sometimes we still fight and we don't talk all that much. But I'm doing better these days.

hamiltrash1232 , Ayazhan Report

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Mike F
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't wrap my mind around a grandparent saying something like that.

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#18

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever About a year into our marriage and after I had moved across the world for them and left everything I’d ever known: “the more I get to know you, the less I like you.”

I am ashamed to say it took 3 more years before we were done.

EDIT:
I did NOT expect this comment to blow up! Was pretty buzzed when I originally posted it, too, so here’s some edits/updates.

- It took 4 more years, not 3.

- He made the decision to call it quits… which makes me feel even more ashamed, in a way. However, after the first days of just complete shock, I felt incredibly free. His decision forced me to give up on the idea that somewhere deep inside of him he still had a resemblance of the man I fell in love with.

- I did of course let him know that his comment really hurt my feelings. He just doubled down on why he felt that way and why he had a right to tell me.

- Only afterwards did I realize the kind of abuse this man put me through. It is almost impossible to recognize it while you’re in the midst of it, especially when it escalates so gradually.

- To everyone replying with your kind comments: thank you so much! It has been just over a year and I am indeed thriving now :) And he definitely is not.

- To everyone who is in a similar situation: it may seem overwhelming and impossible to get out. It may feel like it’ll be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Just know that it will NEVER be harder than staying.

fitnessnfrenchfries , MART PRODUCTION Report

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#19

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever When I was 10 or 11, my parents had brought us to get some clothes from the thrift store. We didn't have much money so hardly bought new clothes. Most of my clothes I'd wear until there were holes or they didn't fit. My dad brought over some pants in the size I had been previously. He was angry and frustrated since it was late and he didn't want to be out. When I said they didn't fit, he told me that "you've gotten fat" before storming off.

I started middle school worrying about my weight and defaulted to an eating disorder. I even now still have issues with my weight and self worth because of it.

sicksages , Ksenia Chernaya Report

#20

I had a buddy who I knew since first grade. He was always arrogant and abrasive. But I tolerated it over the years. He went away to some college in Europe, and came back desperate to act rich, and be high society. And he used to say the most horrific s**t, talk about how he purposefully wanted to hire people to work for him who were in debt. His reasoning is it would afford him the ability to treat them poorly, and they couldn't afford to quit.

He legitimately hated "poor" people, and talked about exploiting them all day. One day we were at a grocery store that had a sandwich bar. He asked the lady who was making the sandwich for a certain topping, and she said it costs extra. He kept pushing her to give it for free, and she relented, saying she'd get fired for doing so. He said, "Nah, you'd probably get written up, but not fired."

When we got into the car, I let him have it. I said, "How would you feel if that woman lost her job because of you?"

He started laughing, "I don't give a f**k, it's a s****y job. She can go get another s****y job."

So I graduated college and got my first job - pretty entry-level, terrible hours, little pay. He kept pressing me to tell him how much I made, and I kept turning him down. Finally I did. Once he knew it wasn't much.

One day we met up before my night shift job, to get a coffee. He could see how tired I was. Then he went on a tangent on how people who get out of bed for less than six figures are stupid, and he'd never be that stupid.

I didn't snap. I just said I'll talk to you later, and got into my car and left. And never returned his calls or spent any time with him ever again.

Some other friends gave me flak for it, but he f****d them over, too, at a later date.

**Edit:**I'd like to say as soon as I stopped hanging out with him, my life got SO MUCH better. Like better job opportunities, and have gone way further in life. I didn't realize at the time how damaging it was to hang around with somebody who was so callous, and would dump on me to try and elevate himself. It's straight up like being in an abusive relationship. Once you are free of that abuser, you can do so much more.

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#21

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever For 3 years, someone and I worked together side by side and developed a close friendship. One day I got promoted to manager and became his boss. He threw a tantrum and screamed for hours, then refused to talk to me (Now his boss) for three days.

When I finally scheduled a one on one meeting, he told me "My sole job now is to make it clear they made the wrong decision. It's in my best interest to make sure that you fail."

I tried for about a month to make it work, but eventually he had to be let go.

That was the end of that friendship.

muscledhunter , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

#22

I once heard my grandmother say that, on the inside, she still felt like a 20-year-old girl. She had been deceived by her own body.

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G A
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True. In my mind I'm still in my 20s. Just my body that's f****d up.

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#23

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever When i was 9 i used to clean the house thinking this is will make my mom say positive things about me, i overheard her talking with my aunt in the phone and said " i wish she is a normal girl and act like a girl and not always cleaning the house"

I went crying in my room after that.

....

C_Khoga , Alex Green Report

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#24

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I let it slip at a doctor’s office that I was feeling hopeless and down for weeks prior, but I lied and said that it was because of the news when in actuality, I wanted to attend God’s meet-and-greet. I lied because I saw that my mom was glaring at me and shaking her head as if to say “no you haven’t.” She got all mad and stormed out and yelled at me in the car “Do you know how this makes me look as a mother?!?” I was 13. That’s when I realized my mother never cared about her kid. Only appearances. And so I “appeared” to love and care about her for the coming years ☠️ ☠️☠️.

bbsbsbshah , cottonbro studio Report

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Luke Branwen
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well - "wanted to attend God's meet-and-greet" is at least much more creative than "unalive myself".

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#25

When my friend told me she knows...

A few months after my mom died I was talking with a good friend (both 38 at the time). I was my mom's primary caregiver; I was reflecting on how hard it was at times.

I mentioned helping my mom with medicines and my friend said "I know (my name)." I began spewing what my mom and I went through and she really listened. I realized without having gone through this herself, she understood completely.

We've been friends since 3rd grade. The type of friends that pick up where we left off.

That last, empathetic "I *know* (my name)" hit my heart something fierce. We've been so much closer since then.

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Tamara Heikalo
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A cat of ours died in a manner that was, for me, a devastating experience. Someone I had thought was a friend completely ignored me when I made reference to the loss. Another friend, a very busy person (a teacher), took the time to say, very simply: "I hear you." Made all the difference in the world.

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#26

My friend committed suicide, and my partner at the time (who is Christian) said “I hope you know he’s suffering now for ending his life. It’s the worst sin.”.

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G A
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3 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#27

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I was in the car with my dad, I was about 40, and he said “Out of all my children, you are the most intelligent, but also the greatest disappointment “. Just out of the blue, like he was talking about the weather.

CartographerKey7322 , Tim Samuel Report

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TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is like being told the prologue, but with not even a wisp of the actual novel.

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#28

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever When I was 11, my mom came up to me out of nowhere and said if she ever had to choose between me and my step-dad, she would choose him.

When I was 12, my absentee, d**g addict father showed up to my grandparents' house, on Christmas, and asked if he could "borrow" the money I just got from them as my gift.

MielikkisChosen , cottonbro studio Report

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#29

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever My ex spent about eight years always going on about being childfree and not wanting to ruin her life with kids. I was always on the same page because I know I don't want kids. One random day, she says "You know, I'm thinking I'd like to have kids. I don't wanna go through the hassle of raising them, so maybe we'll hire a nanny like my parents did... but I totally have baby fever and I'm not refilling my birth control anymore."

That was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

Maldito_Desgraciado , freestocks.org Report

#30

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever "Oh sorry something came up can we postpone"

Over and over and over and over

I'm tired of pulling teeth to make our friendship work.

drflanigan , Monstera Production Report

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Nina
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If something keeps coming up, you're the back up plan. Unless someones life is an ongoing rollercoaster ride (with things out of their scope of influence), if they want to have time for you, they'll make it happen.

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#31

I had just met a man and been dating him for only a few months when we were invited to a party with his friend group.

I was hesitating to go - as whilst I'm an extrovert, I wasn't interested in hanging out with a whole tribe of guys I'd never met. Further from that, in the past I've had unpleasant interactions with a big group of young men - which of course added to my trepidation.

I fully supported him going by himself, however we had a conversation wherein he was trying to convince me to come. Somewhere in this midst of this discussion, he told me he loved me for the first time, and expressed how much it would mean to him that I went with him, as his partner.

It was a very clear moment to me, wherein I instantly believed him and is a very fond, core memory of our first beautiful moment. He was very nervous to say this, and I hadn't seen this vulnerability in him yet. By the way, he's a very tall, muscular man, so needless to say it was surprising and incredibly endearing.

Its now over 8 years later, we have a house of our own, a beautiful dog and getting married April next year. I love him more and more every single day, and I truely believe that those very few words were a pivotal moment in our relationship - he showed me his sensitive and sentimental side, which has only grown in time.

Love this guy so freaking much, excuse me while I go and hug him 😁

Edit: a word.

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#32

My mum asked me to forgive the man who SA'ed me for 7 years (ages 5-12). Because it was her brother.

Fast forward told my dad. And he told me he doesn't understand my generation and their needs and asked me to let it go.

Moved out after that.

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#33

My partner was mistreating me emotionally and I called him on it. I used the term "Emotional Abuse" after many discussions with my therapist about it and he really took it very personally. He did his homework and figured out how to be a better person.

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April Conner
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a huge twist that doesn't happen often in life. Congratulations for changing this person's life for the better.

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#34

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I was barely holding it together as I was talking to my dad about how I'd be having to make some calls to the bank because there were thousands of dollars missing from my account. And he just casually says, "Yeah, that was me." He'd decided, without asking, to use my money to pay for household expenses, like changing the tires on the car. Thousands of dollars gone.

Just thinking about now it puts me in the mindset of a desperate man with nothing left to lose. The reason I didn't pursue legal action was because I'd be spending thousands more just to send him to prison. Instead I moved out asap and haven't seen or spoken to him since.

2Scarhand , Pixabay Report

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G A
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would it cost you to send him to prison? That's on the state. You wouldn't need a lawyer except in a civil case. Bang the f****r up!

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#35

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever "My therapist said I've only been friends with you for so long because it's convenient. I don't have to try to make other friends or get out of my comfort zone. But other than that we aren't really friends anymore... I think she might be right."

Said to me by my best friend of 20 years. He was like an older brother to me, we were so close that we would have crazy ESP moments of texting each other the same thing at the exact same time. We just knew each other THAT well. He was my platonic soulmate.

It's been four years since he told me that. Four years since we last spoke. I just can't seem to heal this one.

NonConformistFlmingo , cottonbro studio Report

#36

My father told all of us kids from his first marriage, "I'm getting my vasotomy reversed so that I can have kids that aren't messed up by their mother."

I demanded an apology on the spot, but he said, "The bible says a parent never has to apologize to their children." Which I replied, "I don't believe in your superstition, so we can just not speak until you apologize to me."

It's been almost 30 years now...

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#37

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever I asked my super rich aunt for help paying my rent once, and she called my sister to ask her what was going on since they were much closer than we were. My sister and I had been extremely close all of our lives. She told my aunt not to help since I was a d**g addict and that's where all the money was going to go. I've never done d***s other than some pot. I got evicted and ended up having to quit my job and move across the country. We now haven't spoken in almost 5 years.

Rude-Worry-6128 , Leah Newhouse Report

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#38

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever They said, 'I don't care,' during a crisis. I realized they were never truly there for me.

Immediate-Interest94 , Liza Summer Report

#39

I miscarried our baby 2 weeks after he left for deployment. Was gone for 3 1/2 months. Within a week of him being back he was making jokes like "you didnt want me to be a dad" then would be like "too soon..?" While smiling n s**t. Yeah we arent together anymore and thats the short version.

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TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good call. Emotionally devoid of anything for his offspring, uncaring of you AND creepy. Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner here!

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#40

She called me her safe space, her person. Time and time again she proves what she feels with how easy it is for her to talk about the really heavy stuff when she feels alone in her struggles. And im all ears, always.

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Michele Viney
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know if OP will see this. But thank you for being a safe space. We all need someone like this in our lives - and it's not always available.

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#41

Next year, you'll wish you had started today.

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#42

Guy i was friends with was hanging out at my place when my little sister (10 at the time he was 14 and i was 15) walked in and asked me for something (i dont remember what) and he said something rude like "go away kid" or some s**t and she threw shade back saying "maybe you could leave you tub of lard" (he was fat) and then he immediately said "go away before i use a dildo on you" and i looked at him with disgust and it took me all of my will power not to clock him and throw him outside and i just told him to leave immediately blocked him everywhere and told all of our mutuals what happened.

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#43

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever When I told my ex-husband that I had been struggling with thoughts of killing myself he replied "All I heard you just say is that you'd rather be dead than be with me."

Way to make it all about yourself, buddy. Thanks.

ETA: He said this while we were arguing about him banging somebody at work so while I wish it was said from a place of shock or fear, it was not. I was trying to open up about why I'd been so withdrawn lately because he kept saying that was why he was doing it, I had been afraid of telling him because I thought he would judge me.

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#44

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever My mother told me that she believed that I hate her while I was at her house giving her money because she needed help to get through the week. I can still feel the hole that statement left in my heart.

P0ncle , Karolina Kaboompics Report

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Caitlin Davenport
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It says more about her than about you. Maybe she has a lot of self hate and was desperate for some reassurance? Or maybe she can't see how someone can not hate her.

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#45

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever My mom told me once in the middle of a fight that she regrets raising me.

Traditional_Cream851 , Karolina Kaboompics Report

#46

Got SA when i was 18, my then fiancé told me i wanted it to happen and said i deserved it.

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Daniela Lavanza
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Translation: he could do it too since consent doesn't exist in his world. Dangerous guy here. And as mean as I sound saying it, I think HE deserves to get it. Then maybe he'd get the lesson learned.

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#47

Probably the day my dad told me he wasn't going to live to see me graduate high school. He was insanely depressed at that time. I knew what he meant, that he wanted to kill himself. It's been almost 15 years since he said that, and he's still kicking. But it was that moment that I realized I was going to have to be more of an adult in that relationship than he was.

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Jacqui Dunn
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father was seriously harmed emotionally by a very early childhood event. It affected him his whole life. Sometimes I treated him badly because I thought he should be a better man - he seemed such a loser. I didn't bother asking him how he was feeling or being in any way sympathetic, because I was the child and he was the father! Later, much later, after I found out how damaged he had been, I understood that he couldn't heal himself, because he never talked about it until he was close to death. By understanding how lost he was, I found my love for him again.

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#48

My grandma told me “you are a sad, broken person” when I was literally 90% ready to end my life. She knew what I had just been through, she knew I had nothing left, but had to defend my abusive grandfather that was driving me to suicide.

He died and she tried to mend the relationship, but I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.

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#49

‘You should go back to him’- father to daughter about a dv abusive man, multiple times.

He’s just a old guy I visit now, his advice and words mean nothing.

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#50

Was dating a girl I worked with at the time. I was on my way to work and found out one of my best friends from college got into a car accident and passed away. I got to work, sat down at my desk and just couldn’t focus, so I told my manager and he said, “go home, take the day.” I really appreciated that response.

Then when my girlfriend got home, I was clearly devastated. I started talking about attending the funeral in DC while I was balling. When she turned and said, “Oh, I have friends in DC, we can meet up with them!”

I was shocked that’s where her thoughts went immediately went to. It made me question her priorities in our relationship moving forward. We eventually broke up as she clearly wasn’t the right person for me.

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Papa
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me that OP gave that single comment more weight than it deserved. Maybe the girlfriend was just feeling awkward and said the first thing that popped into her mind?

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#51

My sister told me during an argument that she thinks the reason my husband was depressed and wanted to kill himself was because of me.

I can't see her the same after that. It's all i think about every time we talk.

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#52

I have Stage 4 Colorectal cancer and was having a large chunk of my liver removed 2 years ago. I called my sons dad to give him instructions in case anything happened as my adult son is bipolar and his dad doesn't give a s**t. He said "I hope you die b***h". I'll never forget that one.

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G A
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okee dokey then, see ya! To be fair, you kinda knew you were going to get that response off a resentful ex. Leopards don't change their spots.

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#53

30 Times Someone’s Words Changed A Relationship Forever "Maybe we need a divorce."


Twice :(


Edit: I (foolishly) married young when I was in the military. Divorce number one. A decade later I divorced again with a different woman. I have two kids with two different moms. It's all a mess. I ruin everything. Stay away, y'all.

Judoka229 , Andrew Neel Report

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Karina
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do right by the kids, and the mess will sort it self out in the future

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#54

My extremely jealous ex-wife had a mental breakdown when I wouldn’t give her the reassurance she demanded that I wasn’t having an affair (this had gone on for years). I spent 20 minutes thinking, “I’m going to have to have her committed,” before she finally calmed down. She fell asleep and I went to sleep on the couch, but was so unsettled and worried she might try something that I was up most of the night.

Things were never the same for me after that, and I brought it up about a year later to show her how unstable our marriage was when she apparently thought everything was fine. I told her, “I didn’t sleep because I was afraid you might come and stab me to death.” I expected her to be dismissive or even laugh. Instead all she said was, “Yeah, that was a really bad night.”.

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Michael Largey
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the OP wasn't having an affair, why wouldn't he assure his wife that he wasn't? I presume she must have demanded something unreasonable.

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#55

"You're a b***h just like your mother!"

Like a decade later dad asked for permission to attend mom's funeral. They'd been divorced for 15 years and he'd spent the entire time saying worse than that about her on a regular basis. But when he asked, that's what rang through my mind, so I said No.

So around 15 years later, I'm in my mid 30s and dad is begging me to come be his medical proxy in the hospital, make decisions for him in his final days like I did for my mother. After talking it over with the kindest and most empathetic person I've ever known, I broke NC for the first time in years to ask if he needed me to pull the plug for him.

Because my friend was right, it'd be wrong of me to leave a *rabid dog* hooked up to machines experiencing a lingering painful death, no matter how much it hurt me in the past.

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Michael Largey
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Frankly many of us have had abusive people from our past where we'd love to have our fingers on that plug.

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#56

“You’re not ugly, you’re just not your own type”.

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#57

"i don't love you anymore" hit different.

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#58

"You are actually delusional", because I got so exasperated during a late night argument that I used a metaphor to try to explain myself.

...that was the moment I realised how toxic and emotionally abusive it had become.

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#59

"I'm just Dave." - Ex-Uncle Dave My aunt cheated on him, and it broke my heart. Then he found another who was scared of old family ties. So he he personally informed me he was no longer my uncle, despite being the best uncle ever.

He tried to reconnect at the end of his life. But I didn't have time for Just Dave.

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Karl-Heinz “Kalle” Wendt
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"He tried to reconnect at the end of his life. But I didn't have time for Just Dave." It's gonna probably take you another 30 years to understand regret about missed oppertunities.

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