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For better or for worse, real life is very far removed from the narratives that entertain us in movies, books, and video games. Fiction is often logical, internally consistent, and dramatic. Reality is rather messy, convoluted, and frustratingly confusing. At times, society promotes ideas that might seem great on the surface but are very toxic once you look at them closer.

Case in point, the r/AskReddit community shared its thoughts about all the things that it wished people would stop romanticizing, from burnout and overwork culture to being a ‘starving artist’ and more. You’ll find their eerily insightful thoughts below. Don’t forget to upvote the opinions you agree with, Pandas.

#1

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality "Overcoming" disabilities. I'm not overcoming s**t, I'm just trying to f*****g ***live.***.

RJSnea , pch.vector Report

#2

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality War.

SlugpartySausages: When I was a kid in the eighties it was often said there would likely be another world war when the WW2 veterans die out. People with no direct link to the horrors of war underestimate the terrible cost to everybody involved. Seems like there was truth in this prediction.

Specialist-Way-648 , freepik Report

#3

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Trad wives. There is no historical precident for "trad wives" It was few deades after a world war at best. Traditionally women have worked along side men doing everything from farming, running businesses, working in factories or as servants and slaving all the hours of the day, much like men did just to survive. Unless you were very rich everyone worked.

wwaxwork , prostooleh Report

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Romanticizing something essentially means that you spin hardships in such a way as to make them appear worthwhile. There’s a promise of some sort of grand reward if only you see things through and stick it out despite all the pain. Let’s not be naive: nobody guarantees you rewards. Sometimes, things are just bad, and the pain isn’t worth it.

Take burnout as an example. It’s an incredibly common problem that affects employees globally, and it’s something that we see as a major issue with very far-reaching consequences. Burnout is often seen through rose-colored glasses as part of being a ‘hustler’ (read: an exhausted workaholic with poor boundaries). Burnout doesn’t just affect your health in the short and long term. It also leads to poor performance, worse results, and low job satisfaction. It’s a lose-lose situation for the employees and their employers.

Recent research from SHRM found that a whopping 44% of employees in the United States feel burned out at work. The mental health-focused research also found that 45% of respondents felt emotionally drained from their work. Furthermore, 51% reported feeling used up at the end of the workday.

#4

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Enabling toxic relatives because "family comes first".

dd_phnx , Nicole Michalou Report

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#5

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Hustling and overwork

Sacrificing sleep for the sake of 'hustling' or 'the grind' is being irresponsible, not proactive. Of course many people are forced to do it by circumstance but that doesn't mean it's a good thing.

dauntless91 , Ron Lach Report

#6

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Thug/gangsta life styles. There's a reason these two words are considered bad. It's not something to strive towards. It's just violence and more violence. .

chado5727 , Wolrider YURTSEVEN Report

Meanwhile, the Boston Consulting Group noted in a recent report that an average of 48% of desk-based workers from Australia, Canada, France, Germany, India, Japan, the United Kingdom, and the United States are currently grappling with burnout. One way to combat burnout (and the ensuing turnover!) rates is by making employees feel included, valued, respected, supported, and as though they belong.

Your relationship with work will depend a lot on your background, where you live, what company you’re employed at, how you handle your work/life balance, and how well you enforce healthy boundaries. While some employees are pressured to operate at maximum efficiency and be ‘on’ at all hours of the day, others push back against overwork to protect their physical and mental well-being.

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#7

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality ADHD!! I’m all in for normalizing it, but please don’t manic pixie dream girl us literally I’m just out here trying to function.

Major_Run_6822 , Kaboompics.com Report

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Omi bub
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same girl, same. I love all this creative genius but not really useful when I have locked myself out AGAIN! (Or any other basic life skill everyone else seems to have mastered)

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Matthew Savestheworld
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And stop saying you have ADD when you forget your keys. I have ADHD and its a full on war with your own brain 24/7. ITs not the same

Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish)
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ADHD is inattentive type, and what that means is I hyperfixate, and right now that means I have just discovered the NASA app and will be consuming everything on there for the next week. It's not fun most of the time, and it's annoying when people minimize it because 'oh, everyone's ADHD, just try harder'

Darth Kittius
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just trying to remember why I walked into a room, I can't be cute and quirky all the time

Chucky Cheezburger
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same.. so many times. Even worse when you go in to get something and can't remember, see something else you forgot, and forget the first thing existed until you go back out.

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Coffee loving panda
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My adhd comes with a extra dose of RSD. For those wo do not know this. Rejection sensitive dysphoria is when every little remark or reply can feel like your heart is being ript out your chest.

D. Pitbull
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Additionally... now there's yet ANOTHER standard we can't live up to. Like... now I'm the ugly-boring ADHD woman, and I'm not all fun and manic/tweaky/cute like I'm "supposed" to be?

Say No to Downvoting
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think a lot of the “but it’s your superpower” talk comes from us adhd parents trying to make sure their kids don’t have the burden of feeling like their is “something wrong with them”. I’m sorry - I’m not trying to glamourise it. I’m just trying to find ways to support my kiddo.

Vinnie
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just a short, frumpy lady - not exactly a cute romantic comedy muse.

Farah the Turtle
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And self diagnostic. If yk what ur doing I dont have a problem, but my friend was YAPPING yesterday abt her anxiety, and I was like ohhh did u go get diagnosed by a doc? and she said naur I self-diagnosed. My ppl, she is in year 7! She was like ohh I had all the symptoms and yea and I was tryna slowly bring it to her that this stuff dont work like that but noooooo she starts a tantrum saying I dont respect her. pos

Sinnsyk Jakte
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Underneath that energetic cheerfulness is just rampant anxiety and depression. Every day we go max, desperately trying to hide it. Imagine every choice being an agonizing back and forth with an aggressive entity that lives in your skull, grappling you every time you try to advance your life. Imagine feeling like you /need/ to be doing something, but you're frozen 'cause you don't know what exactly it is. You're a font of fun facts that no one wants or needs to hear. The brain is always feckin' on, and it's not always on your side.

Jac Carr
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, people with ADHD who won't accept that some of their behaviour is 100% neurotypical. It's as if they want to have all the quirks so in fact are manic pixie dream girling themselves

Insomniac
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's called masking. People do it to avoid the constant criticism that comes with being neurodivergent. Stop being so vapid and judgmental.

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#8

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Celebrity billionaires and CEOs.

Alladin_Payne: Definitely the idea that if someone is a billionaire, they must be really smart and a natural great leader.

avsdhpn , senivpetro Report

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#9

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Having a baby to save their relationship. People romanticize having kids but the reality is it’s one of the hardest things on your relationship. Don’t bring a baby into a s****y relationship where it’s guaranteed they will end up with divorced parents.

Turbulent-Run7089 , tirachardz Report

At the end of the day, you can make requests for workplace culture improvements and should high standards for how businesses should treat their employees. However, unless you’re in an influential management or executive position, those key decisions are probably out of your control.

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So, it falls to you and you alone to know what your boundaries are when it comes to (over)work. You also have to decide how you communicate them to your superiors and how you enforce them when (inevitably) someone crosses them.

#10

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Psychopaths/narcissists. They aren’t this brooding, hot, super competent person that you can change. They are toxic, will never have any real feelings for you, and will suck you dry as long as you let them.

No-Material6891 , Tobi Report

#11

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality The wedding industry.

QueenKittyMeowMeow , Nathan Dumlao Report

#12

Sharing everything you do with your life in social media on daily basis.

sweeetbella Report

What do you personally think society romanticizes that only ends up harming anyone who believes the fairytale, dear Pandas? What’s your relationship with burnout and hustle culture? Do you see it as something glamorous or do you see past the illusion?

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On the flip side, do you think there are any things that are romanticized for a good reason? We’d really like to hear your take. Drop by the comments to share a few thoughts.

#13

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Lack of education.

aiwelcomecommitteee: Sad to say, being a complete moron is a common trope in American media. Jersey Shore, Kardashians.

There's a fight now in the states about educated elites versus country bumpkin. Both of those are stereotypes, but the rustic rural life gets romanticized as banjo music and buck teeth and not being able to count your toes.

aiwelcomecommitteee , Abby Chung Report

#14

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Stalking.

lunarlandscapes: I think Twilight is actually a great example, I remember seeing a ton of teenage girls romanticizing that Edward kept talking to Bella even when she kinds rejected him. There's a huge amount of people who romanticize "not taking no for an answer" because the person is just so in love

hiyac00lcat7685 , Abhinna Patel Report

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#15

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Giving birth without the help of pain medicine.

ArcherEconomy1012 , Kelly Sikkema Report

#16

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality That not taking days off is a good thing.

No days off will surely be you burnout very quickly.

jazztacos , senivpetro Report

#17

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Possessiveness in a romantic partner

Its not cute, its not a sign of how much they love you, it is a sign of abuse and either they need to cut it out or you need to cut them out (of your life, I am not advocating violence).

icerobin99 , Trinity Kubassek Report

#18

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Drinking! It's actually so bad for you and yet everyone acts like it's the best thing ever.

Mas_Basura , master1305 Report

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#19

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Romeo and Juliet.

heili: Ah yes, a five day teen infatuation that results in seven deaths. Romantic. 

Ok-Cheetah-9125 , Sema Nur Report

#20

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Cheating.

shontsu: Sure, but hear me out.

What if your partner is from the city and works an office job with a suit and tie, but you return home to your small hometown where you reconnect with your highschool sweet heart who wears flannel and rides horses?

Then its ok to cheat right? Because hallmark wouldn't lead us wrong.

saylerthrift , Drazen Zigic Report

#21

Having the perfect clean cut home and matching a certain aesthetic to where people are calling out the husbands wanting add their stuff to the decor or to the rooms. It’s toxic. Your husband lives there too. Let him put up the dumb deer on the wall if he wants!

And romanticizing the overconsumption of seasonal products on social media platforms. You do not need the new hello kitty or grinch Christmas blanket every year.

kirbinkipling Report

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#22

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Bad mental health.

UselessAndUnlovable , cottonbro studio Report

#23

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Abusive relationships.

“Nobody is glorifying that!”

B******t. Does anyone else remember having to suffer through 2017 of immature couples pretending like Harley Quinn and Jared Leto Joker was hashtag couple goals?

TheOtherJohnson , pvproductions Report

#24

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Smoking

Someone told me he wanted to start smoking “for the aesthetic” not even a week ago.

Bobbo_Blobbo , Julia Engel Report

#25

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Street fighting.

Someone can take a bad fall, hit their head on a curb or stairs and die right there.

As a lifelong martial artist I can tell you that people are very fragile.

It's not at all like the movies - even a fight you "win" can leave you with permanent injuries...like my missing front teeth.

farvag1964 , YuriArcursPeopleimages Report

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#26

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Autism - but every few years the internet picks and chooses a new thing. It used to be depression, EDs, self harm etc., then it seemed to be Tourette’s and OCD and DID and now, it’s like Autism/ADHD is the *new* thing

I’m autistic myself and have had people patronising me and treating me like a uwu awwtism when they find out.

gremlin_trash , Ivan Samkov Report

#27

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Being a starving artist.

"Keep your day job." until you actually make it is excellent advice. Not the words of jealous naysayers like is often portrayed in Hollywood.

CharonsLittleHelper , Valeriia Miller Report

#28

That there is nobility in unrequired suffering. When youre a chronic pain patient, there is no nobility, youre just... existing. People do not want to be around someone in pain. It also doesnt make you a better person, more noble, none of that. Its useless suffering that doesnt serve a purpose. If your suffering does not serve a purpose to get something done or to improve yourself (for example working out to failure, conditioning yourself to the cold if youre wanting to be a special operations trooper, etc etc), then its not something to look upon and admire.

Saying stuff like "I wish I was that strong"? Yeah no you dont, that means youd have to go through something like that anf you get nothing from it. It doesnt help anything. It dominates your life.

CivilTell8 Report

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#29

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Toxic relationships. Like, it’s not cute to be treated like c**p.

UrxLovelyRainbow , freepik Report

#30

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Eating disorders and being very skinny.

Lylytr0nnn , Annushka Ahuja Report

#31

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Serial [criminals] - they make films and documentaries retelling stories over and over in great detail for sadists. I understand hearing a story because it’s part of history but the cinematic approach taken to these biopics are strictly for entertainment purposes and it’s pathetic.

squambish , RDNE Stock project Report

#32

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Vampires. I want to read about terrifying monsters facing off against villagers with pitchforks, not angsty sexy romances.

Firm-Engineering2175 , freepik Report

#33

Being constantly busy.

SeA1nternaL: You don’t realize how much it takes a toll on you mentally until you look at your schedule and slowly die inside with the lack of free time!

when i get like a period of not-business, sometimes I feel like I’m just stagnant and doing literally nothing, which kinda guilt trips me

GoBeyondPlusUltra93 Report

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#34

People who glamorize being in poly relationship's and expressing their love for multiple people. No one cares about your legion of lovers. It's great that you switch partners like a pair of socks. No one cares.

Inner_Map_5004 Report

#35

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Trauma bonding "romance".

Round_Good299 , freepik Report

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#36

“Bed rotting”. It’s not just having a lazy day it’s being unable to pick yourself up, it’s not a choice.

Ok_Violinist1817 Report

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#37

Love triangles.

QueenConqueror378 Report

#38

Career in medicine or medical science!

The title is fun and all but no one wants to work hours I’m working. Coming home late night to a microwave reheat leftovers and having all my friends and family arrange themselves around my schedule. The only guarantee sure fire way to see me is come have lunch with me at the hospital or pick me up from work to home.

Not to mention the decision you make will cause a significant impact no matter what. You are on your feet all day, running around, constantly liaising with every department under the sun. Senior after your a**e. You’ve seen everything life could possibly gone wrong.

Not to mention the amount of work that goes on behind the scenes, keeping up with the research. Even with all that, you’re highly replaceable and if you don’t want to grind? Sucks to be you cause someone will happily take your place.

The job is extremely fulfilling though but the good is good-good the bad is bad-bad.

Natashaxxiii Report

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#39

That stress is just a drama.

LustfulQuina Report

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#40

Medieval times (thanks HBO) when people were lucky to live to 40 and 90% of the population were basically slaves.

tha_illest Report

#41

High School and by extension, childhood.

Yes, bills suck, and yes, everything is expensive now.

But when I was a kid, I had NO CONTROL over my life. Food, clothes, lifestyle, I basically had to do what my parents and others told me to do.

I graduated college after 24, and I had never felt so free in my life. I'm 36 now and I would never take back my life to when I was a kid. I love being an adult and despised being a kid.

tehweave Report

#42

Nonchalance like just f*****g communicate !!!

confused_asf_helpme Report

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#43

35 Things People Wish Society Would Stop Romanticizing And Instead Embrace Reality Paris. Paris. Paris. 1000000 times Paris.

New_Pea1637 , Eugene Dorosh Report

#44

Wealth and travel. so many people want to travel the world but never bother exploring their corner of it.

OgClaytonymous Report

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#45

Crumbl cookies.


That stuff is nasty 🤮.

Sharp-Literature-229 Report