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For better or for worse, real life is very far removed from the narratives that entertain us in movies, books, and video games. Fiction is often logical, internally consistent, and dramatic. Reality is rather messy, convoluted, and frustratingly confusing. At times, society promotes ideas that might seem great on the surface but are very toxic once you look at them closer.
Case in point, the r/AskReddit community shared its thoughts about all the things that it wished people would stop romanticizing, from burnout and overwork culture to being a ‘starving artist’ and more. You’ll find their eerily insightful thoughts below. Don’t forget to upvote the opinions you agree with, Pandas.
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#1
"Overcoming" disabilities. I'm not overcoming s**t, I'm just trying to f*****g ***live.***.
#2
War.
SlugpartySausages: When I was a kid in the eighties it was often said there would likely be another world war when the WW2 veterans die out. People with no direct link to the horrors of war underestimate the terrible cost to everybody involved. Seems like there was truth in this prediction.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 weeks ago
This should be top of the list. My brother watched all the war movies when we were kids. Joined up at 18. He came back after his fourth tour pretty damaged and is currently in a VA hospital where the shoes have no laces. IYKYK
#3
Trad wives. There is no historical precident for "trad wives" It was few deades after a world war at best. Traditionally women have worked along side men doing everything from farming, running businesses, working in factories or as servants and slaving all the hours of the day, much like men did just to survive. Unless you were very rich everyone worked.
Romanticizing something essentially means that you spin hardships in such a way as to make them appear worthwhile. There’s a promise of some sort of grand reward if only you see things through and stick it out despite all the pain. Let’s not be naive: nobody guarantees you rewards. Sometimes, things are just bad, and the pain isn’t worth it.
Take burnout as an example. It’s an incredibly common problem that affects employees globally, and it’s something that we see as a major issue with very far-reaching consequences. Burnout is often seen through rose-colored glasses as part of being a ‘hustler’ (read: an exhausted workaholic with poor boundaries). Burnout doesn’t just affect your health in the short and long term. It also leads to poor performance, worse results, and low job satisfaction. It’s a lose-lose situation for the employees and their employers.
Recent research from SHRM found that a whopping 44% of employees in the United States feel burned out at work. The mental health-focused research also found that 45% of respondents felt emotionally drained from their work. Furthermore, 51% reported feeling used up at the end of the workday.
#5
Hustling and overwork
Sacrificing sleep for the sake of 'hustling' or 'the grind' is being irresponsible, not proactive. Of course many people are forced to do it by circumstance but that doesn't mean it's a good thing.
Freya the Wanderer 2 weeks ago
Lack of sleep contributes to a number of health problems, physical and mental.
#6
Thug/gangsta life styles. There's a reason these two words are considered bad. It's not something to strive towards. It's just violence and more violence. .
Meanwhile, the Boston Consulting Group noted in a recent report that an average of 48% of desk-based workers from Australia, Canada, France, Germany, India, Japan, the United Kingdom, and the United States are currently grappling with burnout. One way to combat burnout (and the ensuing turnover!) rates is by making employees feel included, valued, respected, supported, and as though they belong.
Your relationship with work will depend a lot on your background, where you live, what company you’re employed at, how you handle your work/life balance, and how well you enforce healthy boundaries. While some employees are pressured to operate at maximum efficiency and be ‘on’ at all hours of the day, others push back against overwork to protect their physical and mental well-being.
#7
ADHD!! I’m all in for normalizing it, but please don’t manic pixie dream girl us literally I’m just out here trying to function.
#8
Celebrity billionaires and CEOs.
Alladin_Payne: Definitely the idea that if someone is a billionaire, they must be really smart and a natural great leader.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 weeks ago
Muskrat is neither smart, nor a great leader. He's a narcissist who acts like a clown and the result is a wannabe cult leader.
Dawn Marie 2 weeks ago
I know I will catch it for this: But didn't you just describe Donald Trump?
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Moxitron Jazz 2 weeks ago
what are billionaires even saving up for?? Is hell that expensive???
Steve Robert 2 weeks ago
Almost every billionaire is an immoral, selfish, greedy animal, and this proves that our tax system is truly fuucked up. It's time to take away their ill-gotten wealth and distribute it to the people who actually earned it.
Miranda Veracruz de la Joya Cardenal 2 weeks ago
Please don't spread conspiracy theories
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Science Nerd 2 weeks ago
I would say that most billionaires and megalomaniacs are highly intelligent. They are just not fit for society.
Toothless Feline 2 weeks ago
The only thing you can say for certain about a billionaire is that they were lucky at the right moment. You can also usually say that their money came from exploiting people; I’m just not certain that it’s true for all of them.
#9
Having a baby to save their relationship. People romanticize having kids but the reality is it’s one of the hardest things on your relationship. Don’t bring a baby into a s****y relationship where it’s guaranteed they will end up with divorced parents.
At the end of the day, you can make requests for workplace culture improvements and should high standards for how businesses should treat their employees. However, unless you’re in an influential management or executive position, those key decisions are probably out of your control.
So, it falls to you and you alone to know what your boundaries are when it comes to (over)work. You also have to decide how you communicate them to your superiors and how you enforce them when (inevitably) someone crosses them.
#10
Psychopaths/narcissists. They aren’t this brooding, hot, super competent person that you can change. They are toxic, will never have any real feelings for you, and will suck you dry as long as you let them.
#12
Sharing everything you do with your life in social media on daily basis.
Auntriarch 2 weeks ago
Hi Pandas, I've already drunk two glasses of water and put a load of washing in!!!
What do you personally think society romanticizes that only ends up harming anyone who believes the fairytale, dear Pandas? What’s your relationship with burnout and hustle culture? Do you see it as something glamorous or do you see past the illusion?
On the flip side, do you think there are any things that are romanticized for a good reason? We’d really like to hear your take. Drop by the comments to share a few thoughts.
#13
Lack of education.
aiwelcomecommitteee: Sad to say, being a complete moron is a common trope in American media. Jersey Shore, Kardashians.
There's a fight now in the states about educated elites versus country bumpkin. Both of those are stereotypes, but the rustic rural life gets romanticized as banjo music and buck teeth and not being able to count your toes.
Freya the Wanderer 2 weeks ago
Being uneducated makes one more vulnerable to con games - and more likely to support a convicted felon for POTUS.
#14
Stalking.
lunarlandscapes: I think Twilight is actually a great example, I remember seeing a ton of teenage girls romanticizing that Edward kept talking to Bella even when she kinds rejected him. There's a huge amount of people who romanticize "not taking no for an answer" because the person is just so in love
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 weeks ago
Having been stalked more than once, I can say it's one of the most horrible things someone can do to you. I can also say from experience that it's right up there with rape and sexual assault. At least the guy who raped me didn't pursue me after. That last stalker was on my a*s for TWO YEARS.
#15
Giving birth without the help of pain medicine.
Child of the Stars 2 weeks ago
Labor and delivery, period. It's not some mystical, magical romp through a fairy forest where a unicorn blows soarkles up your hoo-ha. It's painful, gross, and frankly, dangerous--even when everything goes exactly right. I had a vaginal birth with both of mine, one with an epidural and one without (not by choice; little dude was in a freaking hurry!). I love my kiddos and I'm supremely grateful that both deliveries were easy. But let's not pretend it doesn't come with some serious health risks.
#16
That not taking days off is a good thing.
No days off will surely be you burnout very quickly.
#17
Possessiveness in a romantic partner
Its not cute, its not a sign of how much they love you, it is a sign of abuse and either they need to cut it out or you need to cut them out (of your life, I am not advocating violence).
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 weeks ago
Elon Musk wants to build a compound in Texas for all his wives and children. Dude just gets creepier every day.
#18
Drinking! It's actually so bad for you and yet everyone acts like it's the best thing ever.
#19
Romeo and Juliet.
heili: Ah yes, a five day teen infatuation that results in seven deaths. Romantic.
#20
Cheating.
shontsu: Sure, but hear me out.
What if your partner is from the city and works an office job with a suit and tie, but you return home to your small hometown where you reconnect with your highschool sweet heart who wears flannel and rides horses?
Then its ok to cheat right? Because hallmark wouldn't lead us wrong.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 weeks ago
Typical stupid rom com message: it's not ok to cheat unless it's with your soulmate 🙄
#21
Having the perfect clean cut home and matching a certain aesthetic to where people are calling out the husbands wanting add their stuff to the decor or to the rooms. It’s toxic. Your husband lives there too. Let him put up the dumb deer on the wall if he wants!
And romanticizing the overconsumption of seasonal products on social media platforms. You do not need the new hello kitty or grinch Christmas blanket every year.
#23
Abusive relationships.
“Nobody is glorifying that!”
B******t. Does anyone else remember having to suffer through 2017 of immature couples pretending like Harley Quinn and Jared Leto Joker was hashtag couple goals?
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 weeks ago
And a lot of abusive relationships in romance movies/shows/books are glorified. It's gross.
#24
Smoking
Someone told me he wanted to start smoking “for the aesthetic” not even a week ago.
#25
Street fighting.
Someone can take a bad fall, hit their head on a curb or stairs and die right there.
As a lifelong martial artist I can tell you that people are very fragile.
It's not at all like the movies - even a fight you "win" can leave you with permanent injuries...like my missing front teeth.
#26
Autism - but every few years the internet picks and chooses a new thing. It used to be depression, EDs, self harm etc., then it seemed to be Tourette’s and OCD and DID and now, it’s like Autism/ADHD is the *new* thing
I’m autistic myself and have had people patronising me and treating me like a uwu awwtism when they find out.
Freya the Wanderer 2 weeks ago
I am a high-functioning autistic, which is both good and bad. I can deal with society and hold a good job, but seeing the world a little differently from all those around you can make life hard. Autism is not something to overcome, or be cured; autistics need understanding and acceptance. Would you tell a paraplegic to just learn to walk?
#27
Being a starving artist.
"Keep your day job." until you actually make it is excellent advice. Not the words of jealous naysayers like is often portrayed in Hollywood.
Pittsburgh rare 2 weeks ago (edited)
I know the case of someone who defines herself as an artist, and it's just as accurate as me defining myself as a plumber (when I don't know the difference between a wrench and an Allen key). But to her eyes the world's just not ready for her art 😂.
#28
That there is nobility in unrequired suffering. When youre a chronic pain patient, there is no nobility, youre just... existing. People do not want to be around someone in pain. It also doesnt make you a better person, more noble, none of that. Its useless suffering that doesnt serve a purpose. If your suffering does not serve a purpose to get something done or to improve yourself (for example working out to failure, conditioning yourself to the cold if youre wanting to be a special operations trooper, etc etc), then its not something to look upon and admire.
Saying stuff like "I wish I was that strong"? Yeah no you dont, that means youd have to go through something like that anf you get nothing from it. It doesnt help anything. It dominates your life.
Freya the Wanderer 2 weeks ago
Those who squawk smarmy crud like "I wish I was that strong" have no idea what pain sufferers are going through. How about you go through a day of endless agony, sweetie?
#29
Toxic relationships. Like, it’s not cute to be treated like c**p.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 weeks ago
50 Shades of Gray is a disgusting abomination and I hope every print is eventually burned.
#31
Serial [criminals] - they make films and documentaries retelling stories over and over in great detail for sadists. I understand hearing a story because it’s part of history but the cinematic approach taken to these biopics are strictly for entertainment purposes and it’s pathetic.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 weeks ago
I had friends who were super into Dexter and I just didn't get it. He's a creep and an a**hole. I also hate "vigilante justice" as well. So Dexter had two things I can't stand.
#32
Vampires. I want to read about terrifying monsters facing off against villagers with pitchforks, not angsty sexy romances.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 weeks ago
Then try Dresden Files. I love how Butcher handles his vampires.
#33
Being constantly busy.
SeA1nternaL: You don’t realize how much it takes a toll on you mentally until you look at your schedule and slowly die inside with the lack of free time!
when i get like a period of not-business, sometimes I feel like I’m just stagnant and doing literally nothing, which kinda guilt trips me
Pittsburgh rare 2 weeks ago
Learning to not be productive every minute of the day takes effort when you're wired/have been drilled into hamster wheel mode. It took me surgery and a forced change of lifestyle to get it, but the difference it makes to your mental health is amazing.
#34
People who glamorize being in poly relationship's and expressing their love for multiple people. No one cares about your legion of lovers. It's great that you switch partners like a pair of socks. No one cares.
Kim Karlotta 2 weeks ago
I get that people who treat poly like the cure for all that is wrong in relationships are a pain, but "switching partners like a pair of socks" is serial monogamy, not polyamory.
#35
Trauma bonding "romance".
Which aspect of life should society focus more on instead of romanticizing it?
Enlee Jones 2 weeks ago
The toxic relationships in "Twilight" and "Fifty Shades of Grey". Edward Cullen and Christian Grey are not shining examples of the perfect boyfriend, they are abusive a******s. Seriously, go look up warning signs of abusive boyfriends and count how many apply to those two creeps.
Kit Black 2 weeks ago
Twilight did make for a great teaching tool in that era, though. For a teenage group I ran, I printed out a bunch of copies of ~10 warning signs of an abusive teenage relationship~, and the Twilight pg & quote for *every single one*.
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Say No to Downvoting 2 weeks ago
Nursing. Either the “altruistic, works 48 hours without rest, Florence nightingale” type, or the “slutty nurse getting on with the doctor in the spare bed” type. Ew. I’m a nurse and work my hours, do my best, be professional, then I go home when my shift is done because I have other things and people in my life to look after and if anyone suggests I like giving sexy sponge baths I nearly throw up because the last bed bath I gave involved cleaning up s**t.
Vinnie 2 weeks ago (edited)
Being the loyal, supportive friend who's always there when needed, forever, no matter what and never ask for anything in exchange. AKA, "emotional support dog in human form". It's great to help someone, but if things never get better, the "good friend" can get very, very discouraged and burn out. One way to reduce the burden is to get a variety of supports, including professional help (counselling, therapy, financial planning, whatever).
Sheldon Yee 2 weeks ago
sleep deprivation. basically no one realizes how much not getting a full 8 hours of sleep a night thoroughly f***s up every process in the human body. anyone who says they only need a few hours per night is objectively incorrect.
M G----no 2 weeks ago
For the US - High School Sports (especially football). I get it - when you're in school it's fun to go to the games and hang out with friends. But it doesn't deserve all the attention it gets, especially on the news. Our local news stations have extra time for football every friday night. It's so annoying. I literally don't give a $#!+. College sports aren't much more important. Other countries can't figure out why we give ameteur sports so much attention. I totally get it.
This panda votes 2 weeks ago
Parents with codependent relationships with their kids. "Oh, I can't go anywhere because my GROWN CHILD will report me missing if I don't answer my phone when they call." EFF THAT.
Kathy 2 weeks ago
Violence as entertainment is not cool. I don't care what anyone says. It just puts violence as a solution to problems into people's heads. And guess what happens?
Terran 2 weeks ago
Violence as a solution for problems exists perfectly free in our heads without any media influence. I prefer people exploring their violent tendencies in films and video games instead of outbursts of violence where they actually hurt other people.
Load More Replies...
Guess Undheit 2 weeks ago
Stop romanticizing cars. They are a financial drain, a waste, an environmental disaster, and an excuse for getting away with murder. Not just that, cars are temporary - we have already hit peak oil, and resources are dwindling. We could have had 1300 years of rail and bicycles instead of 130 years of cars. bicycles-d...5c66a5.jpg 
Mike F 2 weeks ago
When you HAVE to pedal your @ss 18 miles to buy your groceries you will change your tune. Contrary to your way of thinking, one size does NOT fit all.
Load More Replies... Enlee Jones 2 weeks ago
The toxic relationships in "Twilight" and "Fifty Shades of Grey". Edward Cullen and Christian Grey are not shining examples of the perfect boyfriend, they are abusive a******s. Seriously, go look up warning signs of abusive boyfriends and count how many apply to those two creeps.
Kit Black 2 weeks ago
Twilight did make for a great teaching tool in that era, though. For a teenage group I ran, I printed out a bunch of copies of ~10 warning signs of an abusive teenage relationship~, and the Twilight pg & quote for *every single one*.
Load More Replies... Say No to Downvoting 2 weeks ago
Nursing. Either the “altruistic, works 48 hours without rest, Florence nightingale” type, or the “slutty nurse getting on with the doctor in the spare bed” type. Ew. I’m a nurse and work my hours, do my best, be professional, then I go home when my shift is done because I have other things and people in my life to look after and if anyone suggests I like giving sexy sponge baths I nearly throw up because the last bed bath I gave involved cleaning up s**t.
Vinnie 2 weeks ago (edited)
Being the loyal, supportive friend who's always there when needed, forever, no matter what and never ask for anything in exchange. AKA, "emotional support dog in human form". It's great to help someone, but if things never get better, the "good friend" can get very, very discouraged and burn out. One way to reduce the burden is to get a variety of supports, including professional help (counselling, therapy, financial planning, whatever).
Sheldon Yee 2 weeks ago
sleep deprivation. basically no one realizes how much not getting a full 8 hours of sleep a night thoroughly f***s up every process in the human body. anyone who says they only need a few hours per night is objectively incorrect.
M G----no 2 weeks ago
For the US - High School Sports (especially football). I get it - when you're in school it's fun to go to the games and hang out with friends. But it doesn't deserve all the attention it gets, especially on the news. Our local news stations have extra time for football every friday night. It's so annoying. I literally don't give a $#!+. College sports aren't much more important. Other countries can't figure out why we give ameteur sports so much attention. I totally get it.
This panda votes 2 weeks ago
Parents with codependent relationships with their kids. "Oh, I can't go anywhere because my GROWN CHILD will report me missing if I don't answer my phone when they call." EFF THAT.
Kathy 2 weeks ago
Violence as entertainment is not cool. I don't care what anyone says. It just puts violence as a solution to problems into people's heads. And guess what happens?
Terran 2 weeks ago
Violence as a solution for problems exists perfectly free in our heads without any media influence. I prefer people exploring their violent tendencies in films and video games instead of outbursts of violence where they actually hurt other people.
Load More Replies... Guess Undheit 2 weeks ago
Stop romanticizing cars. They are a financial drain, a waste, an environmental disaster, and an excuse for getting away with murder. Not just that, cars are temporary - we have already hit peak oil, and resources are dwindling. We could have had 1300 years of rail and bicycles instead of 130 years of cars. bicycles-d...5c66a5.jpg
Mike F 2 weeks ago
When you HAVE to pedal your @ss 18 miles to buy your groceries you will change your tune. Contrary to your way of thinking, one size does NOT fit all.
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