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We all romanticize something. For a long time, I wished I had lived a few centuries earlier, when things were simpler, and you didn't need to fight with your neighbors over a parking spot. But then I read about children working at factories, cholera, ridiculously bad medical care, and suddenly I wasn't too psyched about it. Who could've thought that the past wasn't as glamorous as the movies made me believe?

Turns out, talking about crooked mirrors is quite popular on Reddit. We at Bored Panda recently discovered three posts (1, 2, 3) with essentially the same question: What does society romanticize way too much? And judging from the abundance of upvotes and comments, we thought it might be a good idea to share some of the replies with you, dear Pandas. From eating disorders to workaholism, continue scrolling to check out the most popular ones and let us know if you agree with them in the comments.

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#1

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Acts of charity that shouldn't be necessary.

Like a kid who saves up their lunch money to pay their best friends medical bills or something. Sure, it's admirable, but our response shouldn't be 'awww' it should be, 'why the frick is this necessary, why are we letting our governments fail us?'

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#2

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Celebrities. Fake people living fake, manufactured lives, yet the media insists that we care what they think, what they wear, who they're voting for, who they're f**king. All because they were born with some genetic gift, or born into the right family, or some other twist of fate thrust them into the limelight. It used to just be Hollywood types. Now we have this whole generation of insta models, reality stars, and other "influencers" whose only contribution to society is their shameless self promoting BS. And people eat it up. Meanwhile we have skyrocketing rates of teen depression and suicide because kids are bombarded with these impossible standards of beauty and popularity in their formative years.

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#3

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Giant weddings. Why are you putting yourself into crazy debt and through a bunch of stress for a giant event you probably won't even be able to fully enjoy? Save your money, elope and buy a cool house or go take an awesome vacation.

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Otter
Otter
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Small weddings are infinitely more fun, especially for the hosts.

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#4

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Mental illness. It's not a fashion accessory, it's a disease none of us want to have. You're not cool, trendy or suddenly super [friggin] interesting because you claim to have a mental illness

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Pearl
Pearl
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Like those TikTok teens (questionably) saying they have depression like it's a quirky personality trait! It's not and is serious. Most people don't think they're depressed enough to get help. I'm speaking from experience here.

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#5

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Public marriage proposals, where the other party is basically shamed into accepting.

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Ozacoter
Ozacoter
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Marriage should be talked between both members. The idea of men asking women is just absurd. You are a couple, a team and both should talk about it.

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#6

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Cancer. I'm not brave, strong or even a hero/inspiration.

I just don't want to die.

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Caro Caro
Caro Caro
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whoever romantacizes cancer is the biggest moron on earth. I hope you are doing fine, bless you.

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#7

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Controlling/abusive relationships. Twilight and 50 shades I’m looking at you.

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#8

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread War

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Pearl
Pearl
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. It's not just guns and games. It's famine, starving children, death and debt.

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#9

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Workaholism, the grind, hustle culture. It's not for everybody, and it doesn't mean someone is a failure to not devote their life to making as much money as possible. What's the point of making money if you have no time of your own to enjoy it? I work about 55 hours a week, and I feel like I have no time at all to actually enjoy my life. I don't know how people who are constantly hustling do it.

If it's for you, cool. I'm not casting aspersions. Maybe that is how you get enjoyment out of life. That's awesome and in some ways I'm a bit envious. But it should not be some ideal or standard.

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#10

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread "Gangster" lifestyle. Nobody in the hood wants to be there.

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Caro Caro
Caro Caro
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now this is true and needs to be higher up. Lots of kids want a knife all of a sudden, what the heck is going on??

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#11

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Jealousy.

You know what's hot? Trust.

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#12

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Depression.

There's nothing romantic about not showering for three days and forgetting what it's like to be able to feel things.

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Biba Little
Biba Little
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depression is not just "not showering for three days...", you can look amazing, happy, work and still be depressed. This is too simplified description. I take good care of myself, shower every day, work, read, have hobbies, yet I was diagnosed with depression. Either there are many sides of this disease or those three doctors were wrong.

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#13

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread The mentality of girls “playing hard to get”. No, she’s not into you because you’re being a creep dude, not because she wants you to try harder.

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pusheen buttercup
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! Same with people thinking they need to play games in order to "make you want them"

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#14

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Eating disorders. It's not beautiful and tragic, it's just a lot of gross s**t. Like hoarding bags of chewed up food under your bed. Taking laxatives until you piss water out of your ass and you're so dehydrated you have to go to the hospital. Having dentures/implants at 30 because your teeth rotted out. Walking around in public not realizing you have vomit in your hair, which by the way, is falling out by the fistful. I remember reading one horrifying story from an ER nurse who had a patient who was literally vomiting faeces because her stool was so impacted due to constipation from her anorexia. Imagine vomiting your own s**t.

And that's not including risks like heart failure, life-threatening arrhythmias, brain atrophy, gastric rupture...

There's nothing pretty about eating disorders.

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Eppe
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who the hell thinks eating disorders are beautiful??

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#15

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Toxic relationships and the bad boy ideology - "bad boys" may seem all cute on paper but no, you cannot fix them. It is up to the person to change and toxic relationships are a battle to make healthy. Only if the two parties are willing to sort it out then it can work out but there's nothing romantic about toxicity, it hurts and screws with your head

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Lola
Lola
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Completely agree, but for that to stop, women have to stop chasing these stories. It was mostly women who read the books and watched the movie of 50 shades.

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#16

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Not "needing" 7-8 hours of sleep.

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Francis
Francis
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

goddamnit i only slept 4hours last night because of work and household and all that. i f*cking hate it! i'm so tired and i just want to lie back in my bed. i need my 8hrs and if you think that you don't, be happy but i think you gonna pay later for that

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#17

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Having children.

Being a parent is [friggin] hard work, and kids are basically a**holes for years and years. If you're not sure you're up for the challenge, postpone it while you consider it some more.

Some people are savants when it comes to child rearing, but for most people, it's a skill you have to build, and constantly work on as your kid grows and find new ways to almost kill themselves. And even if you do everything right, life can still throw you curveballs.

Thankfully, I see more and more honesty about the darker sides of pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and economy, and I genuinely believe we are heading towards a generation of enthusiastic parents, who chose the life, rather than just letting it happen to them.

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#18

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Poverty.

Growing up poor and oppressed in a third world country and climbing your way out of this hell, it is not inspirational nor heartwarming. There is nothing beautiful about having to work until you break just so you can provide. No person deserves to live this kind of life. Help, don't romanticize the poor.

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#19

Working while sick.

JUST STOP! It's not tough of you. You're not taking one for the team. You're probably about to take the whole team out.

I get it. Some workplaces have punitive policies for taking sick days (scary sidenote: like every single hospital I've ever worked). Some of us can't afford not to work that shift. But those are policy questions we should be pushing back on as soon as this administration is in the history books and we can finally get back to boring policy making again.

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NsG
NsG
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For context, this was posted about 326 days ago, so the administration they are referring to is the 45th one...

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#20

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Stalking o.o Nothing's sexy about a guy following you around or appearing randomly everywhere you go.

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Francis
Francis
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i hate movies in which she refuses to date him and he starts stalking her, sending her flowers and all that and suddenly she likes him. NO just NO

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#21

The past.

No, it wasn't better. No, back in your day kids weren't better behaved. No, back in your day things weren't easier.

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NsG
NsG
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, but you're forgetting: in the past *they* were the kids so of _course_ they were better behaved. And things *were* easier, because *they* were younger, with fewer responsibilities and the harsh realities hadn't hit them yet. Everything they think is true. For a given value of "true".

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#22

Losing your virginity...

You don't suddenly change into a whole new person once you've had sex. Teenagers should definitely not have this as a benchmark for being grown up.

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MIA J RODRIGUEZ
MIA J RODRIGUEZ
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im a virgin and happy about it. Im Asexual too and i never really got the ¨Appeal¨ of it

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#23

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Unnecessarily aggressive and certain spontaneous behavior, if someone throws a cup of coffee in someone else’s face simply because they don’t like the person, they aren’t cool or badass, they’re an a**hole

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AndThenICommented
AndThenICommented
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ditto this for being intentionally loud and unpleasant then calling it ‘being strong’ and ‘dominant’ - it immediately says you’re too ignorant to reason or collaborate with and should be avoided

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#24

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Pregnancy. It's scary, life threatening, hard, exhausting, and so many more things. I was so sick. I was sick even after delivering at 32 weeks because if I didn't she and I would have died from HELLP syndrome. Feeling her kick and wiggle was the only thing I liked about being pregnant. She's the greatest thing to ever happen to me but it was so hard and the NICU was terrifying in itself. So many people romanticize pregnancy when there isn't nothing pretty about it. The Maternal Mortality rate in this country is absolutely shameful but that seems to get over looked with most things when it comes to pregnancy.

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AndThenICommented
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dunno dude, this one is subjective. Pregnancy could uncomfortable but I felt amazing most of it. That’s not to say there aren’t those who’ll experience complications. The aftermath pressure to have to entertain people while they came to see the baby, the shame I felt when my daughter refused the breast and was on formula, and the overwhelming empathy that made me so sensitive I wondered if I’d ever function in the world again was other worldly.

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#25

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Gambling; because gambling isn't about James Bond playing Baccarat in Monte Carlo. It's about sad, addicted people desperately playing slot machines and losing money they don't have.

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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Around here, most gamblers are seniors with a cig in one hand, and an oxygen pack in the other. Not exactly glam.

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#26

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Ignorance. You've got the right to not care about the world around you, but it's not something to brag about.

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kjorn
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

sorry but with all the s**t who went wrong since last year ignorance is what kept me sane. not watching the news keep me alive

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#27

Portraying a glamorous life on social media. I am so sick and tired of every single person trying to make themselves look like a foodie, fitness model and wanderlust world explorer. Just live your life people. Stop doing things for the 'gram. It doesn't care about you or how much of your life you are wasting trying to impress people. Spend more time with your spouse, friends and family and you won't regret it.

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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The really perverted and asinine thing about this is most of the projected image is a lie. Camera angles, Photoshop, airbrushing, lies. And all these vapid, arrogant, narcissistic fools are doing is making more people depressed by pushing it as an ideal that so few can reach.

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#28

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread being proud of "being bad at maths". also hating learning/education.

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Otter
Otter
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm no more proud of being bad at math than I am of my shoe size. It's just part of who I am.

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#29

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread Chronic illness or life altering disease. People glamorize being sick in books and movies as a lesson in strength, positive outlook, and acceptance. Great values to learn but it completely ignores the constant pain, isolation, and fear that sick people face daily. People pass around feel good stories about “inspiring” people living their lives to the fullest while terminally or forever ill to make healthy and able bodied people feel grateful for what they have. I, nor anyone else in this community that I know, don’t want to be your positive inspiration porn. This life is hard and we wouldn’t choose it so stop using it for stories/media that you get to be emotional over then walk away from.

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Ozacoter
Ozacoter
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. I hate people talk about ill people as "brave", "fighters" and "they overcame their limitations and now are a CEO". Chronic illneses ruin your life, make you lose all selfrespect, often lead to poverty and isolation, most people leave you. The person I was before being ill is dead, her hopes and dreams, her skills, body wnd mind, friends...

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#30

30 Things That No One Should Romanticize, According To This Online Thread For me, personally, it’s codependency. I always had romanticized the idea that me and my partner would fully depend on each other for every emotional and physical need, and that we would and should be able to fulfill the other persons needs. Now that I’m married I realized that if my husband and I did that with each other we would have a gross and dangerous codependent marriage.

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Susie Elle
Susie Elle
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Codependency is the destroyer of self-fulfillment and self-love. It's way healthier to be a cheerleader for your partner (for lack of better wording), in my opinion.

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