People aspire to be perfect. But we're flawed. So when we try to hide our shortcomings, often the only person that we're fooling is ourselves. And there's a Reddit post to remind us of that if we ever forget.
Created by user TheBlanketFortPirate, it asked everyone, "What's something we all just pretend no one does, but in truth we know we all do it?" The platform's community immediately noticed it and in less than two weeks, it has already received over 19K comments, many of which provide accurate answers! Continue scrolling to check out those that received the most upvotes.
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Coming up with the perfect comeback in your head long after the other person left.
We contacted TheBlanketFortPirate and they were kind enough to have a little chat with us. "I'm currently working towards starting my own coaching practice and I'm always interested in learning more about how people think and what brings people comfort or causes them shame," the Redditor told Bored Panda. "I thought asking something like this in an environment where everyone is anonymous ... might help people to let go of their shame and open up about things they usually hide."
"I also thought that reading other people's experiences of the same behaviors that we all hide might help people to feel a little less alone and a little better about themselves," TheBlanketFortPirate added.
Intrusive thoughts that make us question whether we're secretly psychopaths.
After going through the answers, the Redditor said that, "People seem to be the most open about things they hide with their bodies, but [they also] seem to relate most to others talking about things they hide in their minds. What I mean by that is I had hundreds of people commenting about things like picking their noses or peeing in the shower, but the comments that got the most upvotes were about things like people having both sides of an argument in their head or judging others."
Read messages from the notification bar then pretending you didn't see the message only much later.
"I don't think it's possible to live in a society without any mask at all, but I do think we are all learning to be a little more accepting of ourselves and each other. Talking about our bodies is a whole lot less taboo than it used to be, and as we learn more about psychology and society learns to support people working towards better mental health."
"I think we're learning that it's healthy to talk about, and get support with, the difficult thinking patterns we all share. To some extent though, it's important for people to have their own internal private lives with their own bodies and their own minds, and to choose how they want to interact with and relate to others. For that reason, I think we're always going to wear some kind of mask, and I think that's okay, as long as we recognize it and don't judge ourselves or others too much."
Google an unrecognizable number rather than just answer the call to find out who it is
In psychology, the propensity people feel to hide their emotions or personality traits is called masking. People experience rejection or bullying at a young age and modify the way they express themselves for an extended period afterward, potentially through the rest of their lives. But that comes with a price. Increased stress, depression, and anxiety are just some of the potential effects of masking. In extreme cases, some even develop personality disorders as well.
Masking manifests in various ways for different people, but here are three common examples of how we might hide our true identity:
- Changing how you express yourself. Altering communication patterns is one of the primary outward ways people mask who they are. You might change your body language, tone of voice, or facial expressions around specific people or in certain situations. Perhaps you try to force yourself to make more or less eye contact depending on the person;
- Hiding your authentic self. Masking behavior obscures your natural personality. For example, in certain social situations, you might pretend to like different things than you actually do to fit in. Perhaps you find yourself laughing at jokes you don’t find funny. When it comes to autism masking specifically, people with the condition might feel they need to hide the entirety of their true selves in every social interaction they have;
- Making light of your distress. Humor can act as a protective shield against bullying and social discomfort. You might feel the urge to self-deprecate whenever you’re in the limelight. For instance, maybe you jokingly refer to yourself as a “loser” because you’re afraid someone else might call you that earnestly first. Pretending to feel positive emotions rather than negative ones is another prominent form of masking.
“It is not the picking of the nose that separates us, but what comes after”
- My dad, 2015
People mask themselves for all sorts of reasons. For example:
- Economic necessity. People feel the urge to conform to social pressures especially when their job relies on it. This can lead to neurodivergent people trying to act more neurotypical or to people with disabilities attempting to hide when they’re struggling;
- Relationship dynamics. In unhealthy relationships, people engage in a lot of social camouflaging and masking to keep the other person happy. Particularly when you’ve been through verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, masking can feel like a survival mechanism;
- Social acceptance. No matter what the specific context, a desire for acceptance usually lies at the root of most types of masking. Human beings want to feel they belong, and they might become people-pleasers to do so. For example, someone might rigidly adhere to gender norms if they live in a society dedicated to maintaining those gender differences, even if they feel that’s not their true identity.
Reading comments/texts multiple times after sending/posting them. Just to let the fact that you’re a modern day Shakespeare settle in.
"Something I've learned from living with a brain tumor is that life is short and can throw you a curve ball at any time," the author of the post, TheBlanketFortPirate said.
"We all spend way too much time judging ourselves and others and trying to put on a good face and present ourselves as grown-ups who are in control. But a lot of the time we have no control over our brains and bodies. Don't judge yourself or others too much. If something doesn't harm you or someone else, don't take it too seriously."
"We all have things that we hide or that we're embarrassed about, but they're part of being human. If you spend too much energy worrying about the little things, getting embarrassed about things that we all do, or trying to hide very human parts of yourself, you're wasting your limited time on this earth being unhappy and missing out on a lot of the joy and magic in life," they added.
Watch movies with IMDB pulled up looking at what other things actors have been in
Making up conversations in my head before something important. Like I will say this and then the response from other person might be this.. sometimes it can go for 10-15 min before I snap back to reality.
Use q-tips to clean ears. We all *know* it's bad and you're just hurting yourself in the longterm... but damn does it feel great to scratch those itchy, dirty ear canals.
When you go into an aisle in the grocery store and you see someone in front of the object you’re looking for so you pretend you’re getting something else all while hovering near them waiting for them to leave that area so you can get said object.
Constantly talking to oneself, making weird noises, and doing weird dances while alone. Or is it just me?!
Recently I had to insist that my wife knocks loudly and waits before opening my son’s bedroom door. I really had to explain why FFS! I know he’s constantly jacking off, but he would be mortified if anyone knew, especially his parents.
Look up words that people use because we don't know the meaning even though we pretend to when they are talking.
Have anxiety after social events.
"Was I weird?"
"Did they like me?"
"Did I look well enough?"
We all do this. Your friends don't hate you. They are just as worried about you hating them as you are of them. A healthy person doesn't sit and think about how much they hate a person they either just saw or met. Your real friends won't care about the things you think they hate you for (acting weird, saying something awkwardly, second hand embarassment). Just breathe. You are loved, even if it's just by yourself. You are loved.
Kids hide their profanity from Adults, and Adults hide their profanity from Kids. Because both sides must maintain the illusion that the other side doesn't know that they know profanity.
Fart in public.
I was at Home Depot a few months back and I was walking down an aisle and another dude was walking down that same aisle towards me. When he realized I would be walking where he just was his exact words were, “I bout just s**t my pants right over there, maybe give it a minute before you head that way”…
I’ve never been so appreciative towards a complete stranger. That’s real looking out for your fellow man right there! We’ve all been out and unknowingly walked through someone else’s fart… or had someone else walk through ours…
Edit: Wow! After reading y’all’s comments- everything from husbands/wives busting a*s in a grocery store line and one leaving the innocent spouse to take the heat, to teachers purposely crop dusting students who are acting a fool, I’ve realized y’all are some sick and twisted individuals…and I love it and I’m pretty sure some of you are evil geniuses.
To those of you who have commented how gross we are and that you have never popped one off in public- let me apologize one behalf of all of us filthy mcnasty’s.
And lastly, to all of you who have fallen victim to the errant air biscuit and have suffered trauma because of it- I’m pretty sure this is where some of y’all’s origin stories begin… Please remember that there are good people like my Home Depot homie who are doing gods work trying to prevent people from the awful experience of unknowingly walking through and tasting someone else’s brand…
Simply put- y’all are awesome!
Imagining how you would kill someone but you realise it's far too much effort
day dreaming about kissing/cuddling with someone. No one admits to it cause it sounds weird as hell, but we've all done it and likely most of us still do it.
Convincing yourself in your head that everyone around you is doing things perfectly and at full efficiency and expect the same of the people around them.
No? Just me?
Leave clean towels/clothes in the laundry basket for days and putting off folding them.
Incoming call. First thought: *oh why in the heck is this person calling me..*
Answer: "Hey George! So glad you called..."
My papaw always said there's two people in this world. People who pee in the shower, and liars.
I don't know if we all do it, but open a card and pretend not to see cash fall out while reading the card. Haha
Deliberately delay responses to text messages and e-mails, even though it would be convenient to reply.
We all know you sign up for the free trial and cancel it before it’s over. It’s ok I do it too.
Make snap judgements about people based on their appearance.
This could be anything from race, gender, age, clothing, hairstyle, facial appearance, etc.
We make these judgements before we have time to think about it. It’s almost instant. None of us like to talk about this because some of these judgements are controversial.
Office workers slacking off for at least half of their 'working' hours. 40hr work weeks are antiquated for many of us, I know I can do my job in 15-20hrs/week and the other 20-25hrs are me just kind of... Sitting around. Why don't we all just cut the b******t and live our f*****g lives already?
We all brush our teeth until our gums bleed before going to the dentist even though we know it's going to do absolutely nothing
I'm sure there's actually a term for this but the thing you do when you're upset or hurt and then attribute it to something that feels more respectable to be upset about. Like instead of crying because you're mad that someone forgot your birthday spirals into the long history of wrongs that person has made. Because it's embarrassing to say that you just wanted to be a special boy for a day.
Secret Playlist of songs you don't want anybody knowing you're into
Discreetly trying to fix that wedgie. Sucking in your stomach when an attractive person is around. Scratching insect bites and rashes when you're supposed to leave them alone.
Yep! And I’ll even tell people my interests/the types I watch, if they ask, and sometimes I’ll tell people even if they DON’T ask ;) I’ve made younger, male co-workers blush because apparently women aren’t supposed to even admit they watch porn, let alone tell people that they prefer wiener-on-wiener action.
Load More Replies...This is a very reassuring thread, I'll tell you what. "So it's not just me?" repeatedly.
Discreetly trying to fix that wedgie. Sucking in your stomach when an attractive person is around. Scratching insect bites and rashes when you're supposed to leave them alone.
Yep! And I’ll even tell people my interests/the types I watch, if they ask, and sometimes I’ll tell people even if they DON’T ask ;) I’ve made younger, male co-workers blush because apparently women aren’t supposed to even admit they watch porn, let alone tell people that they prefer wiener-on-wiener action.
Load More Replies...This is a very reassuring thread, I'll tell you what. "So it's not just me?" repeatedly.