Until 2018 I thought Elon Musk wasa kind of truck stop bathroom cologne, from the makers of Jovan Musk. I really wish it was true.

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Elon Musk. Leaves a lingering odour of b******t.

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My uncle once told me if I got a thousand bee stings I’d die. He meant all at once. For years, I thought he meant cumulatively. And I kept count.

isaacgunson , Pixabay Report

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You'd have to be the crappest bee keeper ever.....

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Can I point to something that other ppl were wrong about? I was in a room full of ppl discussing a cruise some of them took to and around Alaska. I asked if they saw any narwhals, and they all - the entire room looked at me dumbfounded, and some started laughing. Every single one of them thought narwhals were mythical creatures. I still can’t believe it. I guess they should be embarrassed bc I don’t think many of them even looked it up and I guess I should be a little embarrassed that ppl actually don’t think they’re real.

One-Winner-8441 , Jessica Simpson Report

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PattyK

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Why should OP feel embarrassed? The people who didn’t know that narwhals are real are the ones who should be embarrassed. And ashamed.

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I'm from Belgium and I was nearly 30 when I found out what really happened in congo. We just casually brushed over that part in high school history as "it was the fashion at the time to colonise. We left when they were self-sufficient enough to run their own country, and then they effed it up".

Evening-Dizzy , Ron Lach Report

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Samuel Pelatan

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Yeah kinda hard to run a country when your colonisers left with your hands

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Hump day is referring to the middle of the week, like over the hump, and not the day everyone humps. I always found it weird at my office job when someone would say happy hump day, like, dude, I’m pretty sure you can’t say that here. I was 27 when I realized.

Paranoid_Orangutan , RDNE Stock project Report

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Quasimodo Appreciation Day!

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Oh, another one. Not me, but a friend of mine. She didn’t realize that (U.S.) military members got paid. She thought “an all volunteer military” meant they worked for free. When we explained it to her, it was hilarious. She goes, “You mother f*****s got PAID!?!?!? What the hell have I been thanking everyone for their service for!?!?!?”

We laughed for weeks.

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TotallyNOTAFox

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The word "Soldier" has it's roots in the latin word soldarius (one having pay). We in Germany call the payment "Sold" (soft S) and the people receiving it "Soldaten" based on that, too

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That the bad moon is on the rise, not the bathroom on the right. I ruined that song for my mom when I told her what I heard lmao.

Conscious_Abroad_877 , Ron Lach Report

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SBocker78

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A friend in HS ruined The Bangles "Manic Monday" for me when she started singing it "Just Another Man To F**k Me". I still can't listen to it without laughing.

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That a quart is a **quart**er of a gallon. Duh.

thamonsta , Meruyert Gonullu Report

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Annik Perrot

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TIL, and I'm not embarrassed in the least. How much is that in liters? /j

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I once accidentally shouted 'I love necrophilia!' during my class in 10th grade. I had just read a book about a young teenage necromancer and got the words mixed up. We can cringe together.

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Hippopotamuses

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Oh dear. I'll bet that silenced the class for a moment.

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Oh my gosh, my time to shine.

So I was in like 5th grade when Pluto was declassified as a planet and demoted to dwarf planet. Heard about it in science class, wrote in an assignment that it was sad, yada yada yada. Well my brother at that time was 4 years older and told me that the reason it was declassified was because it imploded and was now the size of like a basketball.

I spent my whole life believing this. Then when I was like 21, I was lying in bed with my husband and just blurted out "Bro remember when we were kids and Pluto imploded and they declassified it as a planet? That was wild." You know trying to bond over our shared childhood trauma. My husband, shocked, was like "Wat." And I explained the whole thing to him and he was like "That did not happen, you are insane." I learned the truth then and there as a grown married woman. I was horrified. Talked to my brother and he didn't even remember, just that he used to tell me all kinds of made up s**t. It was one of the craziest realizations I've ever had.

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lovemy suffolk

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My oldest sister did the same type of thing. Lol. She told me , when i was about 6 yo, that if i ever said aloud or even thought the words " damn the river styx" that hades would have me burn in hell for eternity. I spent a good portion of the next couple days in tears, until my dad coaxed out of me what was wrong. He then went and had 'a talk" with my big sister for terrorizing me. Of course, it never occurred to me...by her own testimony, she too would have been consigned to the fiery pits. LOL, Sibs. >.

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A cup is a unit of measurement. I always wondered how you could have one cup of something in a recipe when everyone has different cups.

TheDemonMaker , Anna Shvets Report

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Kirsty Jackowski

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And the cup measurement is different between countries.

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The little arrow on my dash beside the gas pump icon points to the side of the car with the gas door. Rental cars were a 50/50 shot of getting it right if I forgot to look first before driving, so it was a good thing to learn. At 40 years old. Haha.

LemmyLola , Abdulvahap Demir Report

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Robert T

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* on some cars, not all. If it has an arrow, then yes it does, but not all cars have arrows, and the fuel hose may or may not be on the correct side to indicate it either.

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That the song 'The Macarena' is actually about a woman who was sleeping around while her husband was a conscript at war. The "one and a two and a three Macarena'!" lyric is actually counting outloud the amount of men she had sex with.

We sang that song and did that dance in gym class in middle school!!

InfernalOrgasm , LosDelRioVEVO Report

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Rebelliousslug

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This one and Who Let The Dogs Out really shouldn’t have been so heavily used in school

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That Rhode Island isn’t an Island. I learned that at 53 years old.

vanbrima , Mohan Nannapaneni Report

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Rob D

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If you're not from the US understandable. If you are, get out.

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I learned about Medicaid eligibility in my late twenties. I was unemployed due to untreated depression for about a decade. I didn't know there was medicaid and disability benefits for people. If I had known earlier my life could have been drastically different.

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ZombieMommy

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Most people don't learn about it until they need it. Medicare is another one and it is WAY more confusing, learn about Medicare before you have to get it at 65 it will make your life so much easier. - caseworker

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I thought the term "birthday suit" meant a suit you're literally supposed to wear on your birthday.

SteadfastEnd , Kampus Production Report

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Anonymouse

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it IS what you were wearing on your birth day... so...

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Until I was 19, I thought fly fishing was fishing out of a plane or helicopter. I figured it just flew really low and slow and that they had really long fishing lines.

bananafishin , Tomasz Filipek Report

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Well, what is it? I always thought you would use flies as bait. But then how would you get enough for that?

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That cattle is just the species name for cows and bulls. I thought it was a closely related but separate species until like grad school 😭😂.

AstroWolf11 , Mark Stebnicki Report

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Jeevesssssss

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And oxen are just cows with a job.

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Papa

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Nope. Oxen are castrated males with a job.

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Lil Miss Hobbit

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Are they tho? Because around here we call them steers.

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Papa

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Oxen are typically castrated after becoming mature, so they have the muscular strength to do the job. Steers are animals that are castrated as calves, which greatly alters their physical development.

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M O'Connell

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The job of a steer is to be tasty. An ox is a steer that has some other function.

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Privateer

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Usually, but not always. Cows are used as well.

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Cows may be used to pull a wagon or implement, but that doesn't make them oxen.

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Privateer

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An ox (pl.: oxen), also known as a bullock (in British, Australian, and Indian English),[1] is a bovine, trained and used as a draft animal. Oxen are commonly castrated adult male cattle; castration inhibits testosterone and aggression, which makes the males docile and safer to work with. Cows (adult females) or bulls (intact males) may also be used in some areas. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ox

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Stannous Flouride

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And steers are just bulls without.

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Natalie Kelsey

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Open are actually a separate species. They have completely different hooves

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Hippopotamuses

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Where I come from, they're sometimes called cattle-beasts. I've never worked out the beasts bit. Of course they're beasts.

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Where the heck do you come from? Do you call horses horse-creatures? Or goats, goat-thingummies?

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Auntriarch

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Probably Scotland. Coo beasties

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Karen Philpott

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And steers are castrated bulls.

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Andy Frobig

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Google Frank Costanza chicken hen rooster

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Keith Handly (Ike)

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Kine swine ovine cervine

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Steve Hall

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Cattle is the plural form of the word cow.

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Chips&FriedRice

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Once I was on a little road trip with a group of friends. We drove past a field of cows and one of my friends yelled "look! A baby cattle" she knew that cattle were just cows, yet for some reason they'd decide to say cattle instead of cow

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Marlowe Fitzpatrik

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But that's correct. Unless she could clearly see the gender, "cattle" would be correct. Like saying "Oh, a baby human" when it isn't clear if it's a baby woman or a baby man. A cow is specifically the female cattle

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PFD

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Cattle isn't used as singular though - so that's more like like saying "a baby geese", except there's no singular form. Etymologically at least cattle is not a species name at all - it means livestock (comes from the same root as chattel, and used to also be used for horses, wealth, property). Of course, cow is not a species name either, though in isolation we use it to refer to only one species. Same with bull. Basically we have this hugely common and important animal and don't really have a name for it. Stupid English.

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LaserBrain

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Not really. Correct would be to say "calf."

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I've never heard someone say Yosemite out loud, I've been reading it as Yo sem ight lmao.

Asleep-Trifle-8645 , Mental Health America (MHA) Report

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Calling out a fellow jew "Yo, Semite"!

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That fallopian tubes aren't connected to the ovaries. They have finger-like appendages and float around over to where the egg is released to grab the egg. The egg just free floats in your abdomen void waiting to get picked up. Oh and if you only have one tube, it can make it over to the other ovary to get the egg there sometimes.

Stunning_Patience_78 , cottonbro studio Report

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TotallyNOTAFox

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Statistically 1/3 of women also get cramps during ovulation

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Pumpkin spice does not actually taste like pumpkin :/.

MAMidCent , Pixabay Report

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leendadll

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Pumpkin Spice is the spices that go into american pumpkin pie - clove, cinnamon, nutmeg.

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It’s chest of drawers and not Chester drawers.

Jwalkinworm , Keegan Checks Report

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Lesley Relph

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Those drawers are the wrong way round, it should make a Union Jack!

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That Jessica Rabbit wasn't actually a rabbit and that "Rabbit" was her last name because she married Roger. I was in my 20s when I figured it out.

ThePhiff , Kay Pike Report

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TotallyNOTAFox

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Didn't stop her from playing "Petty Cake" with somebody else though

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Women don't urinate out of their vaginas. There's a small hole called the urethra opening.

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TotallyNOTAFox

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Also if women squirt it's not from the urethra (common misconception, too), it's liquid from the Skene gland with the openings located on 4 and 8 o'clock around it.

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That the ABC song and twinkle twinkle little star song have the same melody. I was 27 years old when I realized it. Blew my mind then 😂.

khitanona , Wellington Cunha Report

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Molly Whuppie

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they are all loosely based upon a french melody "Ah, vous dirai-je, maman" from the mid 1700s. Mozart also wrote some variations of it.

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The crust of the bread does not in fact contain all the nutrients.

ergonaut , Geraud pfeiffer Report

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TotallyNOTAFox

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Why would it? It's just dough that got exposed to the heat the most

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A girl I knew thought roadside memorials were actual graves.

Midlifetoker , chb1848 Report

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I thought that too until I was six

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All I knew is when I turned 21 is wine is red or white. I tried to order white wine and the waiter asked which one. I asked what they had and picked the one I felt most confident pronouncing.

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Ross “Sarcastic Dad”

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Best thing I ever learned was the word, "house". Can bail you out of a lot of dinner date situations where you're at a fancier place then you're comfortable with. "I'll take the house white wine/whiskey/whatever".

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Carrot cake is really made with carrots. I thought because they usually pipe a little carrot on the top and the fact you ate it around Easter they just called it that for no other reason.

Garden_Circus , chudesabyvaut Report

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Francois

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Why on earth limit eating carrot cake to Easter?

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