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Bordighera12 , Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

We asked Dr. Luster about why someone might potentially have trouble empathizing with others. He explained the situation to us, first noting that he was focusing just on empathetic responsivity in neurotypical people: individuals without issues that might otherwise make empathy less accessible.

"Empathy has several aspects to it. The first has something to do with 'lived phenomenology,'" he explained to Bored Panda, meaning an individual who "has lived through something similar may have more 'relatedness' sociologically and psychologically to the person who is perhaps describing an event they went through."

He continued: "This can be seen in some recent research where nurses report high levels of clinical empathy in their day-to-day interactions with patients. Their exposure to a variety of things makes this more feasible and accessible."

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Death of a child, f**k cancer.

Final score:

127points

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SirWriteALot 1 month ago

omg, I can't even immagine. I think I'd be done with my life.

36points

SuchSell2803 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Anything mental health related. You can sympathise but until you've felt the crushing lows and your own brain turning against you...

Final score:

125points

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Bewarethere@gmail.com 1 month ago

You've spoken no words truer than that

32points

Otherwise_Ad2804 , Lesli Whitecotton / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

According to Dr. Luster, when we see a lack of empathy, it may be due to other factors such as emotional triggers, age, or relationships. "For example, someone on the internet may lack empathy due to any one of these factors and may be more prone to a deficit in empathic feedback to respond more productively," he told Bored Panda.

"In the real world, empathic feedback is necessary for the empathizer to fully relate," Dr. Luster said. He added that, otherwise, the distractions he mentioned earlier may greatly influence how a person responds. "Empathic feedback helps transform information in sensorimotor regions of the brain."

We also asked Dr. Luster about someone 'practicing' to be more empathetic if they feel like they have a hard time connecting with others. He explained that this is directly related to empathizer feedback: "That aspect we require to encode and decode from our environment is needed, and when lacking, makes it harder to empathize."

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours You dont have to love and respect your parents after abuse because “thats STILL your dad(or mom)”.

Final score:

113points

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Rachel Pelz 1 month ago

Wow. Anybody saying that to a person who's been abused ought to be ashamed of themselves and rot slowly in hell. Feeling love for the abuser is what ennables abuse to continue in many cases. And the adult abusers know that very well and bade their manipulations on that.

35points

IthurtswheniPvP , Trần Toàn / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Chronic illness / pain / fatigue, also anxiety.

Final score:

110points

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Mimi M 1 month ago

An anxiety headache feels like a vise around your head, with pulsating pain radiating downwards throughout your whole body, down to your toes. And it's not the kind of pain that is helped by aspirin or tylenol.

12points

braunHe , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Depression.

Final score:

109points

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Tobias Reaper 1 month ago

a lot of people just think its feeling down and think by saying cheer up will make it better but in reality its not feeling down exactly but feeling nothing feeling empty. I wouldn't wish it on anyone i have struggled with it myself and people i love have as well its absolutely horrible.

42points

GhostPantherAssualt , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

He suggested that people think of this mechanism as a 'resource box.' "You can add to it! So perhaps a way one can learn to strengthen those areas of sensorimotor conduits is to add to that box by educating themselves on a few things before judging. Many people may work unconsciously off of a confirmation bias based on unbalanced effects."

Dr. Luster gave an example of how this works. "If, for instance, I had trouble empathizing with someone from another religion, another generation, etc., instead of working off of any bias I may have because of bias-based elements I have taken in from my life, I might try learning a bit more about that person, why they believe what they believe, what is it like growing up in their generation, etc.," he said.

"By embracing some cognitive flexibility, and becoming the listener who asks good questions rather than opinionated or judgmental questions, we open the gate to adding to our empathy box. Therapists must practice this ability before ever entering a counseling session. We often do the work on ourselves well before therapy with others so that we are open and allow trust and safety to enhance the sessions for clients. But this is not exclusive to us, and anyone can begin to practice this kind of adaptive flexibility. It's not easy, but with practice, empathy can begin to grow."

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Sexual Assault. It's a different whole beast that you have to experience it before you just spout off on what you think, and you have to really understand what's going on and what to do to deal with the aftermath.

And the trauma and recovery of regaining your identity as a person and not as a victim and the fact that we still don't think about it or work with it with any gender is appalling.

Final score:

95points

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Tobias Reaper 1 month ago

I never told anyone about it because I thought they wont believe me and as i am guy would be probably be made fun of

57points

nightwing0243 , Hillary Black / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours OCD.

I always roll my eyes when people simply pass off a casual thing as OCD.

"Oh I'm so OCD about this cabinet!"

You don't have OCD. OCD is an actual disorder.

OCD is when your mind is overthinking like crazy. Every interaction with someone, no matter how big or small, gets blown completely out of proportion in your head; and you might have what I have in which I need to reflect and use this weird face ritual to clear the thought from my head, where any other noise in the room can throw me off and force me to restart the process.

If I touch something with my left hand, I have to touch it with my right hand. I find myself getting flashes of anger towards myself and other people when something isn't happening the way I think it should be. Intrusive thoughts are in my head far, far too often.

It's a hell of a lot more than just wanting your rooms clean, or making sure your feet are walking in the squares on a tile floor.

I really hate that OCD is sort of trivialized by the majority of people.

Final score:

87points

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Birgit M 1 month ago

So much this! I have OCD and have just started therapy (again). You always have to be in fight mode because you can't let the monster in your head win or it will take away everything that's important to you in your life. It's very hard to fight intrusive thoughts. People just say “Your fears are completely exaggerated” and can't understand that I know this myself.

26points

Sh*tfacedGrizzlyBear , Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours How easy it is for medical costs to completely ruin you (in the USA, obviously).

I was diagnosed with leukemia when I was 13. My initial stay in the hospital (so from diagnosis to the first time I was able to go back home) was 50 days. The bill for that alone was $1.5M.

I was very lucky. We were upper middle class. My dad had very good health insurance through his employer, so it did not ruin us. But it doesn’t take a genius to imagine what would happen if that hadn’t been the case.

Think about that next time you want to call anyone in favor of healthcare reform a socialist/marxist/etc. Imagine busting your a*s for decades, being responsible, and saving as much money as you can. Then you’re told you will have to go broke to save your child’s life. Now imagine that the sick child is not your only child. You have three others. Not only are you and your spouse going broke, but those children now have parents unable to support them so that they can live their lives to the fullest.

People’s ability to just ignore how f****d up that is will never cease to amaze me. I was 13 f*****g years old, and I was able to empathize with people who were not as lucky as me. It’s not that f*****g difficult. And if you think it’s acceptable that a family in the richest nation in the world could go broke just because a child gets sick, you’re a heartless, cynical a*****e.

Final score:

81points

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SirWriteALot 1 month ago

Healthcare is such a difficult concept that only the top 99% of developed countries are able to provide one. Except for ...

24points

BriefShiningMoment , Alex Green / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Empathy forms the foundation for kindness and understanding. At its core, it’s your ability to imagine someone else’s experiences as if they were your own. Unlike sympathy (responding or reacting to another person’s experiences), empathy is all about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.

Most of us are hardwired for kindness, but it’s not exactly clear how. WebMD explained that human beings have specialized ‘mirror neurons’ in their brains. They activate when we see and feel emotions. Researchers believe that it’s these neurons that create empathy. However, other scientists think that empathy is purely a construct of our intelligence.

#10

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Miscarriage.

I birthed a grapefruit-sized water bubble into my underwear and when it popped, I saw the giant eyes and tiny fingers before I couldn’t take it anymore and had to flush it. Then I bled for a month.

Everyone I talked to said it was a very common thing.
“Oh so you had one?”
“No but I know someone who did”.

Final score:

80points

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Susie Elle 1 month ago

That sounds awful

38points

almostp*rnstar , KoolShooters / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#11

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Being stalked. It's a horror that rips your life apart.

Final score:

74points

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Mimi M 1 month ago

I met a woman who had been stalked for years by a random person she had once worked with. She would change every detail about herself (phone numbers, etc), but he would still always track her down. Police wouldn't help, because he never crossed the danger line. Her entire life was on the run (I met her while travelling).

25points

DelectablyDull , Anna Tarazevich / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#12

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours ADHD. I think it's really hard for someone with normal executive function to understand what it's like to not.

Final score:

73points

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Tobias Reaper 1 month ago

executive disfunction is the worse knowing what you need to do wanting to do it but you just cant make yourself do it.

41points

EmulsifiedWatermelon , Ivan Samkov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

There are two main types of empathy. The first is emotional empathy where we might feel the same things as someone else, feel distressed at what they went through, or feel compassion for them.

Its counterpart is cognitive empathy, wherein we can intellectually understand how someone is feeling. Unlike emotional empathy, cognitive empathy can take time to cultivate and is more of a skill. It centers around learning how to identify emotions and behaviors.

#13

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Divorce. Being cheated on. Having your heart broken. Being a single parent.

Final score:

72points

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Pittsburgh rare 1 month ago

I tick three of the boxes and people severely underplay how traumatic being cheated on is. It scars you for life because it hits on your trust system. Being a single mother has been a walk in the park compared with that (even working three jobs to make it).

18points

CromulentWunderpus , Алесь Усцінаў / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#14

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours War. Seeing exactly what evil a human being is capable of inflicting on another.

Final score:

71points

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john doe 1 month ago

I remember seeing the sheer destruction that combat causes and being floored by it, I remember thinking that no natural disaster can compare to what us humans can do to each other. The amount of fear that combat brings is incomparable to anything else.

10points

MotherSpinach9280 , Shane / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#15

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Chronic fatigue, everybody thinks im just lazy because i need SO much sleep. I hibernate on the weekends.

Final score:

68points

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Sweet Taurus 1 month ago

This is me. I've been on several family vacations where one minute we are having a great time wondering the beach, shopping etc and the next I have to go back to the hotel and sleep. I know I'm going to miss out on ABC but it doesn't matter my eyes HAVE TO CLOSE MEOW

10points

okapii99 , Timur Weber / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Practice makes perfect. Though many of us are born with a varying capacity for empathy, we can strengthen and hone it like any other skill. If you find yourself less kind, caring, or understanding than you’d ideally like to be, it only makes sense to spend some time working on yourself to improve.

One part of being empathetic is staying curious about the people and world around you. Asking questions, getting to know folks, deepening your relationships with them despite superficial differences—that’s how you gradually improve your empathy.

#16

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Poverty. People who grew up having money often think that poverty is a result of lazyness. And if you do eventually become financially stable, you still have habits and a different mindset because you grew up poor. It takes a lot of time to change that and realise that you dont have to save money all the time and you have enough for everything you need. Its difficult not to feel guilty when you buy something for yourself and buying something thats not on sale always feels illegal...

Final score:

65points

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Lost Panda 1 month ago

Growing up poor and seeing my mother want and seeing how I didn't have the same level as others (though never felt poor until I joined the military and saw the difference of others), it is easy for me to buy things for my wife and kids "You want that? Sure go ahead." But the moment my wife tells me to get something like... socks, or a new razor, or other necessary things I turn into "It's alright, I can wait it out a little longer".

21points

Knight_wolf03 , Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#17

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Someone put debilitating disease-but for me, to specify, dementia/alzheimers of a family member. Seeing someone who raised you (in my case a grandparent, right as I got out of high-school) in that condition is devastating. There's the things you know you'll have to deal with, them not knowing the date, forgetting what your name is. Not recognizing someone.

It's when they can't remember/put something together and they know they can't. That fear in their eyes, the realization of just not knowing something they knew. The fear, and helplessness on their face. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It's a terrible thing.

Then the anger and fights when they dont know who you are and why youre there. Worst years of my life was seeing her mind just vanish. You can see it in movies, hear stories about it, but until it's in front of you, you just don't know. I applaud anyone who cares for the elderly with those issues.

Final score:

63points

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Enlee Jones 1 month ago

My sibling and I went through this with our mother three years ago. It's an experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy's dog.

12points

WavyTexan , Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#18

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Abusive relationship. It’s so easy to ask “why didn’t you just leave if he was hitting you?” It’s not an easy question to answer. The abuse doesn’t start with a knock out punch on the first date. Abuse starts with arguments usually after the honeymoon stage. Maybe he pushed you, snatched your phone out of your hand, or slammed the door in your face.

By the time you’re getting your a*s whooped- walking away with black eyes and broken ribs, that’s when you start to realize it’s abuse. It’s not just a fight that went too far like you’ve conditioned yourself to believe. At that point you probably live together, share bills together, own things together and you start to question would it be easier if I just stay? What will he do to me if I leave? Is it really my fault like he says?

Final score:

59points

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Pittsburgh rare 1 month ago

And sometimes it never escalates to physical violence, but there's insults, economic abuse, etc. It's even more difficult to prove then and just as difficult to break a cycle. And victims of abuse are normally ashamed to admit it until they're well into therapy.

28points

Hobowookiee , Hiki App / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

You can also try doing small acts of kindness for your family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers more frequently. Meanwhile, try to actively put yourself in other people’s shoes in order to connect with their life experiences better. It might be difficult at first, but you’ll eventually turn it into a habit!

What are your thoughts on the topic, dear Pandas? Do you think it’s possible to be empathetic about all possible things even without having experienced them? Or do you think that some events are so fundamentally deep and incomprehensible that even the kindest people in the world might not fully ‘get’ them? Do you consider yourselves empathetic people? Feel free to share your opinions in the comments section, at the bottom of this post.

#19

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Being autistic in a society that doesn't understand you.

Final score:

58points

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OneWithRatsAndKefir 1 month ago (edited)

I’ve mentioned it before, and I’ll mention it again; my life could have gone a bit differently, for the better, if I had been diagnosed young. The woes of being a masking, high-functioning gal… and my secondary school teachers saying that they apparently made a referral but nothing ever came of it, meaning I got diagnosed about five years later instead of, you know, then.

16points

sadsorrowguitar , Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#20

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Chronic lower back pain.

Final score:

57points

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Andrea Josipović 1 month ago

Or upper back. or any chronic pain actually

34points

damdirtyape11 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#21

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Mental illness.

Final score:

56points

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Multa Nocte 1 month ago

As a psychologist I can't upvote this enough.

12points

Lordserbon , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#22

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Panic attack.

Final score:

56points

POST

Beak Hookage 1 month ago

It literally feels like you're f*****g dying. Absolutely horrible.

13points

GreedyHog2Fuk , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#23

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Losing ur parents/parent, it's been 4 years and i still cry for my dad, i miss him a lot

P.S: i am reading the replies to my comment with watery eyes, may God keeps everyones' parents safe and healthy.

Final score:

53points

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IndoGrrlRN67 1 month ago (edited)

My Dad just passed away a couple weeks ago after a month of suffering from a fall in the shower (he was 87, lived alone independently in the house we grew up in after losing our Mom almost a year ago, and wasn't found until the house cleaner came 36 hours later). I live 10 hours away and spent the month with him in the hospital and rehab. I was actually packed to go back home and was stopping at the rehab facility to let him know I was going back, but when I walked in he was actively dying so I knew I wasn't going anywhere. I held his hand for the next 10 hours until he passed.

28points

Ok_Committee_5618 , SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#24

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Insomnia.

Final score:

52points

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Mimi M 1 month ago

Sometimes people who think they have insomnia actually have a bimodal or biphasic sleep pattern (sleep for a few hours, up for a couple hours, sleep for a few more). This is common in pre-industrial societies and among other mammals. It's natural and not unhealthy, just inconvienient in modern society. Colonials called it 'first sleep' and 'second sleep', and it was considered quite normal.

11points

sadisticallyoptimist , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#25

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Narcissistic abuse.

Final score:

48points

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Annabelle 1 month ago

This.

8points

WardenCatra , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#26

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Having a loving relationship with people.

Not necessarily romantic, just a human bond that isn't some cheap aqcuaintanceship.

Final score:

47points

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Edward Treen 1 month ago

Acquaintanceships can be genuine, caring, non-judgemental, and undemanding too.

3points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#27

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours The death of your spouse. In an instant, everything changes. Their family slowly, or sometimes not, walk away. Less calls, and invites, more so if there are no children. Every life plan evaporates. You lose half your income, half your friends, and all of your dreams.

TensionRoutine6828 , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

46points

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Caro Caro 1 month ago

What I noticced was that people say "if there's anything I can do, if you need to talk" and then don't have the time or don't want to listen. I could not talk about my husbands death for months so when I did call some were "too busy, call later, no now, will call back, etc. I am however grateful for the ones who did have time and kept "pestering" me and therefor helped me crawl out of my depression.

25points

imagine_enchiladas , Polina Tankilevitch / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#28

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours I’d say eating disorders. It’s not that easy to recover or to “just eat”. Even after recovery, it’s there till the end of your life, occasionally “jumping out” and ruining your day or your meal. Oftentimes you’re still sensitive to comments about your weight, I know a lot of people who are afraid of scales or knowing their own weight (me included).

Final score:

45points

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Kelly Scott 1 month ago (edited)

An eating addiction is different from all other addictions. You can stop using d**gs, you can stop drinking alcohol, but you can never stop eating. How successful do you think recovered alcoholics would be if they still had to take a drink three times a day to survive? With an eating addiction, you're trying to quit eating and lose weight while still having to eat. It's almost impossible. Every time I hear someone making fun of an obese person and saying they just don't have any will power, I'd love to drop 150 pounds and an eating addiction on them and see how they cope with losing weight.

9points

0JustHere0 , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#29

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Any form of addiction.

Final score:

44points

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Biytemii 1 month ago

Addiction sucks....the worst part is no matter how long u are sober for (2 years for me) the thoughts will always be there. Going through some stress? Brain says let's relapse. Dealing with family deaths and unhappy times? Brain: let's feel better and self medicate. It's a constant battle for the rest of your life. If you don't want to stay sober you never will. It is a conscious decision you have to make every day. To all those in recovery...day by day i won't use today, I won't use today, I won't use today. Especially in those stressful moments that your brain wants to push you to it.

11points

ConsiderationNo6532 , Yan Krukau / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#30

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Unexpected layoffs. The financial uncertainty hits harder than you'd think.

Final score:

44points

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Geoffrey Scott 1 month ago

May I add termination as well. Not only are you scrambling for benefits, it is the stigma involved as well. You never get over it, especially if you were a top performer and you ended up melting down because you were on an island regarding your co-workers efforts.

3points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#31

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Slowly losing your eyesight.

Laymanao , Danie Franco / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

44points

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DrBronxx 1 month ago

For me, not eyesight, but hearing. Every time I catch a cold now, I experience hearing loss. It's terrifying, and each time the hearing loss lasts a little longer.

9points

sknmstr , Annie Spratt / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#32

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours I know that disability has been mentioned a couple times, but I’d just like to throw my hat in the ring. I’d like to add epilepsy to the pile. I’ve been on 14 different medications/medication combos over the last 30 years and none of them have been able to totally control things. I’ve had 10+ brain surgeries, and have even had a computer put into my brain to try and regulate it. But the constant knowledge that I could LITERALLY, at any moment, just fall down and die…wrecks me to my soul. I do my best to put on a good face, but it gets harder to do every day. Trying to explain this all to my kids makes it even harder. Telling my 3 year old “if you see dad fall and stop breathing, or hit his head, or not wake up, you need to call this number” is the hardest thing. Knowing that they might have to watch their dad die.

Final score:

44points

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Jill Jones 1 month ago

I can not fathom what you're going through, my thoughts are with you and your family.

7points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#33

Having Parosmia. I had covid late last year and developed Parosmia soon after. Nothing tastes or smells pleasant at all. Everywhere I go, I'm reminded of it. I barely eat anything. My soap, shampoo and perfume all smell revolting. Food tastes like garbage. It's truly an awful experience.

inceptionispossible Report

Final score:

42points

POST

Mimi M 1 month ago

Wow - that sounds awful.

8points

Responsible-Area-102 Report

#34

PTSD.

Final score:

41points

POST

Annabelle 1 month ago

and CPTSD.

9points

AndreasDerpin , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#35

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Being a persecuted minority.

It’s f*****g terrible.

Final score:

41points

POST

Kelly Scott 1 month ago

It's like walking around with a label on your forehead, saying 'treat me differently'. It's just hard to know if people are treating you like c**p because they don't like your ethnicity, or if they're just having a bad day and would treat everyone that way. It's very tiring to give everyone the benefit of the doubt all day, every day.

6points

RedditWhileImWorking , micheile henderson / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#36

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Being responsible for your elderly parents.

The weight of it is immense, and the emotional dynamic is super complex. My age group are all starting to go through it and it's really hard and different for everyone. The weight and emotions are always intense though. Do yourself a favor people in your 30s and 40s... have your parents create a "trust" to go with their wills, and ask them about their finances. They may or may not want your help, but if they do you could save yourself a lot of headache and heartache.

Final score:

40points

POST

IndoGrrlRN67 1 month ago (edited)

My Dad just passed, he was 87, but it was still unexpected. He made me executor in his will, but everything is a MESS. Until I get the official court appointment, I can't do ANYTHING about his bank accounts, bills, credit cards. I can't even FIND all his financial accounts. It looks like he may have a life insurance policy but I have NO IDEA because his office looks like a tornado hit it. My sister and I both said we are NOT doing this to our children.

8points

Kim Bailey 1 month ago

If you have children please create a will. It makes things so much easier. I'm an only child and my parents were divorced so my dad thought he didn't need it. It took me two years to settle everything in probate court. Easily avoided with a will.

3points

Sweet Taurus 1 month ago

The stress of crying for my great grandmother that my Mom went through was hard to see. I was pretty young (late teens early 20s) so I wasn't able to take as much of the load as I wanted to. She was such a saint for having her live with her for years.

1point

Sweet Taurus 1 month ago

I have no idea where the crying part came from. The stress of caring....

2points

Elizabeth Lloyd 1 month ago

I'm caring for an abusive, narcissistic mother and no it's not just an old age thing. She is manipulative and abusive and now she's lived her life she wants mine. It's killing me inside. At this rate she will outlive me.

0points

Bertha Madott Premium 1 month ago

And…… if you live long enough: coping with an aging spouse and taking care of each other. I F75 and me dear husband M86 are doing great relatively speaking but it is a challenge. 48 years together but nothing prepared me for this new reality.

0points

BookFanatic 1 month ago

Yes. Only child here. I lost both my parents before I was 40. Dad went first, so Mom put everything into a trust for me. That trust was the bane of my existence when she passed. Made everything at least 3x harder than it would have been otherwise. Double taxes, double having to prove I was the heir, needing multiple forms and notes from the attorney for every single thing I needed to do. It was exhausting.

0points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#37

Being alone. Like not having any family.

The entire Western civilization is centered around generational wealth. So often I hear people complain about how x is getting y and no one had ever helped them out ever when in really they eat dinner at their parents house 2-3 times a week and their mom watches their kids for free and their dad fixes their car for them or cuts their grass for free or they do laundry at their sister's house.

RUaVulcanorVulcant13 Report

Final score:

40points

POST

cerinamroth 1 month ago

I sometimes feel envious of people with families who help them out with dinner and grandparents looking after their kids and those kind of things you mentioned. I think they are normal and aspirational, because it's evidence of strong, healthy family bonds. I don't give a hoot about generational wealth. Life is hard in different ways for different people. There will always be people who have more in the bank than us (not difficult at all at the moment!) but I think we have made a happy home for ourselves and our children, far away from our families. And that's definitely for the best. I am envious of people who are close to their families, but it feels so alien to me.

4points

rtduvall , Tyson / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#38

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Having kids.

Saying you watch your nieces or nephews a lot isn't even remotely close to having kids of your own. An aunt or uncle gets to turn that kid back in. Parents do not have that luxury and you get what you get with kids. All are different and all have different reactions to things.

It is not for the weak at heart.

Final score:

39points

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Amelia Jade 1 month ago

I started babysitting at an early age. While in junior high I volunteered at a daycare center. I was a nanny, a Sunday school teacher, a preschool teacher, worked for an after school program, and eventually became a substitute teacher while working toward a teaching degree. Working with kids is something I'd done for as long as I can remember. None of that--NONE of it--is even remotely close to what it is like to be a parent. Until it's all on you 24/7, you won't understand. It is just nowhere near the same thing.

17points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#39

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Having to defend yourself from someone who's really, legitimately trying to k*ll you.

Unhappy-Television91 , Pourya Sharifi / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

39points

POST

cerinamroth 1 month ago

And having to live with them in the same house until you're old enough to leave them in the dust (while praying to god your little sister makes it another two years until she can leave).

11points

thugsaah , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#40

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Infertility.

Final score:

29points

POST

DrBronxx 1 month ago

We were coming to terms with this after years of heartwrenching IVF. We got to a point were we were unable to make any more embryos, after multiple attempts. We literally had one embryo left (we were planning to try two at a time), and decided to go for it. We decided that this was our absolute last try, and we would get on with our lives afterward (easier said than done). Thankfully, that final try worked, and we now have a beautiful toddler. Truth be told, I had almost zero faith that it would work, and was trying to imagine our future without a child. The whole pregnancy, a little bit of me never believed it would actually work. But it did. My heart goes out to those that suffered more, and are still suffering. The feeling of infertility when all you want is a child is just soul crushing.

11points

Suspicious-Clock-292 Report

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#41

Disabilities.

Nerve damage.

Homelessness.

Poverty.

Abuse (any form).

S.A.

Depression.

Life-altering injuries.

Suddenly no-longer having a stepchild.

Final score:

21points

POST

Ria C. 1 month ago

Tick all the boxes except stepchild.

0points

#42

The pain from a kidney stone.

huskers1111111111 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

El Dee 1 month ago

Actually considered to be worse than childbirth!!

1point

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

#43

Damned near everything. I mean, what *do* we understand before we live it?

Nintendo1964 Report

Final score:

19points

POST

LB 1 month ago

Ok good point

1point

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#44

Being Poor.

Any_Sun3430 Report

Final score:

19points

POST

El Dee 1 month ago

Being poor is more expensive than being rich, weirdly..

4points

#45

“It's Been 4 Years And I Still Cry”: 40 Life Events You’ll Never Fully Grasp Until They’re Yours Being a taxi driver, or any sort of job in transport that has you driving people around.

I've seen and heard so much b******t from punters, folk in bars, folk on social media that think I'm in a easy job that they could do standing on their head.

Especially the morons who think they're experts in the industry cos they take loads of trips: yeah and I brush my teeth twice a day, does that make me a dentist?

It's really, really not that easy.

Are you prepared to work ridiculously long shifts at antisocial hours, deal with difficult passengers, abusive passengers, drunk passengers, general scum; and s****y fellow drivers in traffic?

Are you prepared to spend almost all of your income on keeping your business going via fuel, maintenance, licensing and other operational costs?

Depending on where you work, are you even prepared to study for months or years learning the streets to pass a test (Uber's multitudes of amateur drivers don't do this) to qualify for a license?

Because I have to do all of that on a daily basis.

Tennents_N_Grouse , Paul Hanaoka / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Jenn Smith 1 month ago

Very underappreciated occupation..so very vital. Literally lifesaving! Thank you!

2points

See Also on Bored Panda

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#46

Grieving the death of somebody really really close.

BagPuzzleheaded2840 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

#47

Psychosis.

Xqqs Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Mimi M 1 month ago

I lost a dearly loved person to psychosis. A brain disease with a high fatality rate.

1point

#48

Receiving CPR and AED after a heart attack. I will never forget the overwhelming sense of doom.

DistributionWise6612 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Cindi Antrobus 1 month ago

Giving CPR and having to use an AED.

2points

#49

Losing your hair.

Benana Report

Final score:

11points

POST

#50

Ego death.

BlueHALo97 Report

Final score:

6points

POST

Nimitz 1 month ago

Actually really true. Especially everyone who was told they were "special/gifted" as a kid only to find out, no, you're just average. That is a hard wall to bounce off of

1point

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »

Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

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What do you think ?

POST

Doctor Strange 1 month ago

Loneliness. Coming home day after day after day for years to an empty house with nothing but reruns to fill the silence. Trying to reach out to friends, and its like pulling teeth to get them to even talk to you, and when they do they don't care, dismiss you and your pain. Trying to make new friends and having people talk for a few sentences and then just vanish. Trying to meet someone for a romantic relationship, but getting constantly rejected because you're never good enough. Just always being alone, no matter how hard you try not to be.

17points

Mimi M 1 month ago

I'm sorry. Sending you a hug.

10points

Caro Caro 1 month ago

Sorry, that must be tough. But listen: You are good enough !!

1point

Papa 1 month ago

I struggled with finding a romantic partner for years. I know this is easier said than done, but I finally met my wife when I quit trying so hard.

0points

Cee Cee 1 month ago

Well that really perked up my morning.

17points

Multa Nocte 1 month ago

I know. I may have to go back to bed now.

8points

Gavin Johnson 1 month ago

I posted this higher up…. To anyone out there who needs to hear this right now. You are important and you are valuable. You may not recognise it right now but I can assure you that as a fellow human I know you are valuable, you will see that in time. The whole ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ stuff ain’t always right, sometimes you don’t even get to understand there’s a tunnel, you are lost in an undefined ether that’s got no beginning or end, no up or down, it’s just a whole lost in space thing. I know, I was there too. But believe me when I say that you don’t need direction or some higher purpose for now, you are allowed to just be, to float, to realise that your brain can wait whilst you find the right meds or therapy or book or friend or random individual who holds your hand for a moment. Be more kind to yourself, take a deep breath and know that you can ‘just be’. Sending love and light to anyone who needs it. From a fellow traveler, we’ve got this.

8points

Sweet Taurus 1 month ago

Surviving a loved ones suicide. The total ripple effect it has on anyone and everyone. That one death destroyed so many lives, families and relationships. Falling in love with a narcissist and grieving the loss of someone who was never real.

6points

Annabelle 1 month ago

🫂

2points

Ellinor 1 month ago

Having periods. Period pain can be so hard you're throwing up, unable to move or breathe.

5points

Angrykitten 1 month ago

Best thing I did for my well being was get a hysterectomy. I had crazy periods that made me miserable monthly. The only down side is it will be difficult to know how I'm progressing with menopause. And I still have the hormones of menstruation so hard to tell when I'm having pms.

3points

Wysteria_Rose 1 month ago

I don't have it myself but my spouse has a condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia. Simply put, he has damage to the protective sheathe around a nerve from Lyme disease meaning the nerve is exposed and can be triggered, causing electric shocks through his face, around his eye, cheek, and even in his mouth (roof of or lips). No one knows what it is generally (it's very rare) and so many try to tell me all about how they get it, they also have chronic conditions that make life hard for them. I want to hit every one who tries to compare because I have to see the strongest person I love fall to the floor from the pain, cry, drool, and sometimes can't even move. There's no cure and barely any treatment that works. It's a living hell for him. TN is also known as "the su*c*de disease."

4points

SkippityBoppityBoo 1 month ago (edited)

I unloaded a lot of things on this post... As I tend to do... Especially with Domestic Violence and Abuse, Childhood Abuse etc....... All of what's happened to me in my life? At times my life HAS been so much fun and fantastic! But later times haven't been......... However? I'm still the Goddamn KickAss Hard Core person who learnt to walk again while taking on both Covid and the court case against my violent ex so Bugger That For A Barrel Of Biscuits! Come on Life, that all ya got? Cos I ain't playing no more 👍😉

2points

AnnaB Premium 1 month ago

I've lost all five members of my immediate family from cancer or heart disease. I want a dog so much but I just don't think I can handle one more death.

2points

Littlemiss 1 month ago

I've experienced a lot of the things on this thread. It changes you. For me I learned fear, self hatred, disgust and utter loss of self. I'm now in my 40s clawing my way out of existence and into life. I think the title is too broad in the sense that you can experience horrific things and still live, you just have to learn to live around it all. Mostly you learn to live with it and continue going forward.

1point

RedBadgerCan'tSwim 1 month ago

Having a stroke. I have never felt such fear and helplessness as when my whole left side stopped working. Being trapped in half a body was terrifying. I was "lucky" overall. Someone was right by me when it happened and the ambulance was close. I got the clot buster in time. I left the hospital only three days later and outwardly, I look like I always have. But I'm not as strong, not as coordinated, not as focused. I am terrified of every little health hiccup now. I can't be without my phone without panicking that I'll need to call for help and not have it. Even now, over a year later, I have bouts of panic thinking what if? 30 minutes earlier and I would have been alone in my room, thirty minutes later and I would have been alone in the basement of a building without cell reception. And on top of everything, everyone who knows me treats me like I'm made of porcelain now.

1point

ImAcoywolf?? (EverestWolf) 1 month ago

I know these come nowhere close to the horror stories here but.. 1. Misophonia. If it’s bad enough one wrong sound can tick you off and suddenly people are breathing and sniffling and coughing all around you, then you can hear the, swallowing and moving their tongue, and the walls are vibrating. It sucks and the response is usually panic or to yell or to run. It never ends. Never. 2. Therianthropy. Nothing can be the same as not being the same species as you feel. My legs are wonky, feet are short, I cant run and jump so strongly, my smell and hearing and awareness isn’t what it should be, I don’t have big ears or a long tail, and most of all I don’t have freedom and innocence.

0points

Mimi M 1 month ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Sojourner 1 month ago

One thing that makes me constantly sad is the constant influx of negativity everywhere. It makes me sick to my stomach. I find it hard to relate to most people, especially with my views. I want everyone to experience life, liberty, and happiness. Here on this website, I often feel unwelcome due to being unable to relate to/handle many articles here, especially political ones and anything in the "Social Issues" category. This site hates me, because I'm American.

-3points

POST

Doctor Strange 1 month ago

17points

Mimi M 1 month ago

I'm sorry. Sending you a hug.

10points

Caro Caro 1 month ago

Sorry, that must be tough. But listen: You are good enough !!

1point

Papa 1 month ago

I struggled with finding a romantic partner for years. I know this is easier said than done, but I finally met my wife when I quit trying so hard.

0points

Cee Cee 1 month ago

Well that really perked up my morning.

17points

Multa Nocte 1 month ago

I know. I may have to go back to bed now.

8points

Gavin Johnson 1 month ago

8points

Sweet Taurus 1 month ago

6points

Annabelle 1 month ago

🫂

2points

Ellinor 1 month ago

Having periods. Period pain can be so hard you're throwing up, unable to move or breathe.

5points

Angrykitten 1 month ago

3points