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Last week, Reddit user PrestonRoad90 made a post on the platform, asking those who grew up poor to share the things they believe people with more money will never understand about them.

It quickly gained traction and sparked thousands of heartfelt responses about the lasting impact of financial hardship. Many described how their experiences shaped their views on money, security, and even relationships.

From small but meaningful sacrifices to constantly worrying about bills, the thread highlighted the challenges that the wealthier may never have to consider.

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#1

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like You just get so tired. It feels like there's no resting because there's always the pervasive feeling that you should be doing/making/fixing something. Poverty means constant planning - for the next meal, for the next bill, for the next crisis.

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k1ddkanuck
k1ddkanuck
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1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even when asleep, it's not rest. It can take hours to fall asleep. Even at that point, dreams become extensions of whatever stress was going on before falling asleep. When the dreams are good, the best part of the day is when your brain decides you can just keep sleeping.

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#2

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like Being poor is very expensive.

For example, if you're unable to afford to pay a speeding ticket, it will accrue late fees, making it even harder to pay off.

If you need money right now to buy food and pay rent, Payday Loan shops can help you, but with exorbitant interest rates so you'll end up paying back way more than you borrowed.

If you have a toothache but can't afford to see the dentist, it can grow into something worse and more costly to fix.

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Marcos Valencia
Marcos Valencia
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1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Again, the Sam Vimes "Boots" theory of socioeconomic unfairness. When you're poor, credit is expensive. When you're rich enough, credit is cheaper than buying in cash. Sir Terry Pratchett's clairvoyance strikes again.

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As disadvantaged as some of us might start, there are things we can do to help our financial situation. Michelle Schroeder-Gardner, the founder of Making Sense of Cents, where she helps readers make smart decisions about how to earn, save, spend, and invest, told Bored Panda, "No matter a person's background, learning how to budget and understand the difference between needs and wants is very important."

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"It’s also important to understand the concept of saving early on, even if it's just small amounts, and to recognize the value of delayed gratification—waiting for what you truly want instead of making impulsive purchases," Schroeder-Gardner added. "It's also important to learn the value of working for something yourself. When you earn your own money, you understand better how much things really cost, and you are more likely to spend it wisely. This responsibility helps you make better choices about spending and saving your money."
#3

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like How little activities like “bring valentines for everyone in class” or “let’s hold a bake sale” were stressful AF.

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Mabelbabel
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Telling your classmates you can't go to their birthday party (but not telling them you can't go because your parents can't afford to buy a birthday present for you to give)

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#4

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like The anxiety you feel at the cash register. Knowing there’s nothing else you can put back, that you genuinely need every item and it’s the cheapest possible price, but somehow it’s still too expensive. That feeling never goes away.

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quentariel
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a panic disorder and I refuse to panic at the cash register. So if my money are low, I have to use my phone calculator to count every single item, then double check my bank account balance before even approaching the register.

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But the road might be long. Almost 6 in 10 Americans say they'd need to earn at least $100,000 a year to stop feeling anxious about their bills, according to a new report from Edelman Financial Engines.

About half of that group set the amount even higher at $200,000 per year or more, the financial services firms found.
#5

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like How difficult it is to crawl out of generational poverty.

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JJ
JJ
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this. Husband and I both crawled out of poverty, working our butts off to earn a decent income. He hates it when colleagues claim they're "so normal people" who worked so hard for what they've but had parents who sponsored stuff like driving license, paydowns for cars, a house, housing while being in training and the like. We both know what it's like to live off noodles and ketchup for weeks because there's nothing left in the bank account.

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#6

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like When you are starving and there's nothing to eat so the only option left is to try and sleep because you hope that when you wake up you won't feel so hungry.

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Kali Chaos
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's heart wrenching. I've been there. My dog always ate well and ate first, so there were plenty of times I didn't. If you're struggling currently, DM me and I'll buy you a pizza.

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Only 12% of the 3,000 respondents said they consider themselves wealthy and only 4 in 10 people who are objectively wealthy, with assets of more than $2 million, said they considered themselves rich.

At the same time, anxiety about personal finances has increased from last year, Edelman found, with roughly a third saying they're worried in 2024, versus 29% a year ago. That's despite a soaring stock market and wages that have been edging ahead of inflation since May 2023.

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#7

How exhausting it is to constantly worry about making ends meet.

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#8

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like The constant fear of running out of money that creates this weird obsession over and guilt about spending money, even when you've got decent finances. 


I grew up poor and my partner grew up upper-middle class. We have managed to carved out a pretty comfortable life but I still have panic attacks about money and being able to afford essentials (food, rent, etc.). They are flabbergasted every time it happens. Like supportive but completely confused as to why I get so upset. My response is always "money can run out". .

My_Clandestine_Grave , Mikhail Nilov Report

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k1ddkanuck
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1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you're still poor as an adult, or even just straddling the line between sometimes being comfortable and other times barely making ends meet, this can also go the other way... Suddenly you have a bit more cash on hand than you usually do (when you're used to living in and/or on the edge of poverty all your life)? Enter the inescapable and irrepressible urge to spend a night or two indulging in the sort of spending you normally don't allow yourself to indulge in. Because you literally need to do so. Not just for self gratification, but maybe even more importantly, in order to spend time with and maintain your social circle. If you don't, you know from experience that the people who are genuinely your friends (but have more than you) will just stop inviting you to participate in things that cost money (aka everything)- not because they don't want you there, but because half the time they invite you to do things you're too broke to participate like everyone else. So when you can, you spend that money like the people you value (but can't keep up with financially). The panic attacks happen "tomorrow", and persist until your next paycheque. Rinse and repeat.

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Ultimately, Michelle Schroeder-Gardner of Making Sense of Cents believes that people who grew up poor and those who grew up wealthy can understand each other, "but it takes work/effort and good communication."

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"They have different experiences, so how they think about money and life can be very different," she explained. "Someone who grew up poor might focus more on saving and basic needs, while someone who grew up wealthy may not have faced those struggles. But if they listen to each other and try to learn, they can understand each other better. It’s all about being open and caring/empathetic about the other person’s experience."
#9

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like That Sugar toast is an acceptable dinner.

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Adam Chang
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"If you're poor how can you be so fat" healthy food is crazy expensive.

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#10

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like How much relationships matter. You're alot safer in a dangerous neighborhood if you know and have good allies/friends in the neighborhood. It's alot easier to share a bedroom with four or so other people if you like those people. You can't afford that new car part, but if you know that dude in the neighborhood who fixes cars, he might hook you up for a little cash. Etc etc. TLDR: having solid, good relationships with people you have history with can make a WORLD of difference.

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Marcos Valencia
Marcos Valencia
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1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rich people are well aware of the importance of relationships, actually. For different reasons, but they do.

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#11

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like Being bullied for being poor.

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MoMcB
MoMcB
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grew up in a council estate. My Dad worked really hard. Made the choice to send us all to grammar school, but that meant we rented. No bad thing, we were loved, had decent food on the table and the books etc we needed. But the rich kids still bullied as I didn't have the latest fashions, or get the good haircuts/ make up. I met one a few years ago. She asked me if I remembered her, I sai said

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#12

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like Food insecurity. I’m 60 and even now having no debt and being in a good spot, I still hoard food and keep any bit of leftovers. I remember going hungry and/or only having a small portion to eat..no seconds.

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#13

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like Getting to stay home instead of school field trips because mom could never afford the ticket.Used to get excited about it until I realized why.

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Alexia
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same here. And then being excluded from the group, because all colleagues talk about how fun it was during the trip, and you were not there.

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Cora C
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Interesting, school field trips do not cost money in Asia and Europe (you need to bring lunch and water). A lot of places are free, a lot of places entertain school field trip requests for free. I went to a coca cola factory, a fire station, a green house and a bird sanctuaryas a kid. My friend once went to a cemetery with her history teacher.

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Alexandra
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Field trips in primary education are part of your education: you don't have to pay for them separately. Just bring food, drink and a good mood. In secondary education however, field trips can involve several days in another country. This is only partly covered by normal educational expenses: the remainder falls to the parents to pay. Some schools are in deprived areas: they often choose not to do these expensive trips because the parents simply can't afford the extra fee. If students still can't go, there is a special fund that pays for the student. The reason for this fund is that leaving students at home while their classmates go on a trip will have a negative impact on children. Of course, it doesn't address the problem of the parents not being able to pay, but at least for this instance, everyone gets to go. As for the special fund, no one will now which parent/child made use of it. Children can be cruel that way you see.

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BarfyCat
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this one. My school had frequent ski trips and I never got to go.

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Mr.Li
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the other side, when you can go, your parents ripped out a leg and arm, for you to go and have fun

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#14

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like Amount of time feeling powerless.

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#15

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like Your parents not being able to support you into adulthood. Hell, mine stopped being able to when I was 15. I can always tell someone didn’t come from poverty when their suggestion to somebody facing financial troubles is “talk to your parents”.

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cerinamroth
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine made me pay rent from 16! No wonder I was the poorest at university (I paid my own fees of course), using my birthday book tokens from my beloved grandma to buy a sandwich from the book shop at the station that actually sold sandwiches, and stealing the odd snack from the place I worked (sorry, but not really sorry). Thank heavens I managed to scrape through my studies and move a long way away.

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#16

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like How stupid the phrase "it'll cost more to repair it than it's worth" is when it comes to car repairs.

It doesn't matter if that s**tbox isn't worth $500; a $600 repair that you're going to have to beg, borrow, and steal to afford is still cheaper than coming up with a down payment, monthly payments, full coverage insurance, etc that you need for a decent used car.

Also, just how many laws and proposed laws utterly f**k over the poor. Emission inspections being a big one.

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UncleJohn3000
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1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nagh, there are lost causes and the sunk cost fallacy just lets you sink deeper. The hard part is guessing ahead of time. OP didn't really live in poverty if they think you replace a shitbox with a new car. In poverty, you just buy a better shitbox.

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#17

Being poor means constantly worrying about basic needs and future stability.

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#18

Seeing your mother wear 20+ year old worn out clothing and what amount to rags she collected from hospital visits, all so her child could have the best. Then the sadness of not being able to spoil her when you finally have your own money because she passed away too young.

Well... I just made myself sad lol.

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ShyWahine
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This really hit home for me. My dad worked incredibly hard his whole life - wish he were still around, so I could treat him to a REAL vacation…

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#19

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like Small problems become large ones when you don't have adequate savings

Any extra expense can be catastrophic.

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#20

Going to the grocery store and not being able to afford the food you very exactly budgeted for because they raised the price of an item.

The most mortifying experience ever is getting to the register and discovering your total is mere cents above what you can afford so you have to pick an item to put back.

Or, finding out your card won’t go through because you forgot you paid your car insurance and there’s not enough money in your account to cover your groceries.

“Oh, wrong card, let’s try this one…” declined.
“That’s not the one, let’s try this one…” declined.
“Can we split the payment onto multiple cards?
“Oh, there’s not enough on that card to cover it? I’m sorry. Never mind. I’ll find out what money I have where and come back.”

As you walk of shame worse than any college one night stand has ever felt. Carrying your infant child on your hip leaving your groceries all behind because you can’t afford them.

I wish no one ever had to feel this way. But I also kinda wish everyone had to at least once.

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whineygingercat
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then mom intentionally writes the bad check. Hoping, praying that the $$$ will clear the bank BEFORE that check does. Because she looks at her two little girls and KNOWS she has to do SOMETHING. (1980's, checks weren't scanned at the register to verify funds, I took a couple of days)

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#21

That oftentimes poor people make the decision to buy the thing that makes them happy when they can, instead of constantly saving only for what they need.

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#22

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like As a fellow poor kid, the stinky kid in class probably didn’t have deodorant/couldn’t afford the proper deodorant. It still could be true for the stinky poor adult in your life. Be mindful and considerate sometimes.

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HTakeover
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1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not the deodorant... it's the inability to wash clothes properly. Or maybe even the water was turned off. Related to that last point, everyone should know where their water main is (if they have a house) to be able to turn it on/off manually.

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#23

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like Being excluded from just about everything.

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Otto Katz
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No senior class pictures, prom, outing. Because it's just too darn expensive. Knowing not to bother even asking because you don't want to have to make your parents answer the "No" you know will be said.

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#24

Even basic needs are luxury for you.

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k1ddkanuck
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1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The other day, I admitted to a good friend that things like Amazon Prime and other subscription based services are just not in my budget these days. Sympathetically but without a shred of irony or critical awareness, she was like "Oh my god, how do you even survive?!". It was a joke and I laughed along. And that's fine. I'd rather she remain oblivious.

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#25

You fix things yourself.

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Glen Ellyn
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've always preferred to fix things myself if I can. Now, thanks to YouTube, I can fix things I never thought I could before.

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#26

Maybe Obama care has helped. But healthcare wasn’t a thing. Need stitches the lady across the street did that for hamburger meat. Got jumped in the bathroom and have a big knot on your head lay down in the dark while your mom tells you not to fall asleep. I joined the Coast Guard when I turned 18 and boot camp was the first time I had been to a dentist.

My mom had mental health issues. She would get jobs and then lose them. She used me as a p**n in her games with my dad. I went to 21 schools from7th Grade to Graduation. You don’t get to go to college when you have been to 9 different high schools and have months long gaps between them.

People say it’s about making good choices. What if don’t know anyone who makes those like ever?

I joined the military and pulled myself up by my bootstraps so to speak. But it took its toll on my body for sure. But I would be dead or in prison if I hadn’t had a 10th grade teacher who wrote me a plan in detention that would be the best advice I ever got.

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whineygingercat
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dentist? Annual cleaning? Nope. Only trip to the dentist was when I had teeth knocked out of my mouth in gym class, 1st grade.

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#27

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like Being told:

"Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.".

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Geoffrey Scott
Geoffrey Scott
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People are amazed, our stuff is usually a long term purchase, meaning we hang on to it for a long time. If it works, why not take care of it?

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#28

Some things can be cheap or low price and still not affordable.

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#29

"Money doesn't buy happiness" Ahahahahahahahahahahahah.

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whineygingercat
whineygingercat
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, but it DOES buy the necessities for life and the luxuries most people can not begin to hope for. Once the weight of "how do I pay all the bills this month and still afford to eat" is lifted, one can start to relax. From there, happiness can happen.

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#30

Hunger. That dull pain that eats you through to your backbone and you can’t escape, even through tears is something that can only be understood if you’ve experienced it.

The anxiety and shame associated with grocery shopping. The panic when the register total is higher than your mental calculations halfway through and the shame of putting groceries back but please get this one…panicked total check, and playing the game of how much can I get for my money during checkout.

Having to kill a pet so you can eat. Those bunnies and chickens we got were quickly turned into meat sources during the lean times. Hard for an 11 year old kid to understand that bun bun was not a pet and don’t get attached, I went vegan for a while as an adult because I was so traumatized but to this day I’ll eat a rooster as soon as it utters its first cockadoodle because f**k those mean bastards.

The poverty smell. There’s just a smell associated with poverty that can’t be described. I’ll be in public and pick up a whiff and I’m instantly transported back to my childhood/teen years. If you know, you know.

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Sue User
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to live on half sandwich bag cereal, a chocolate milk and ice cream sandwich gor lunch and okay dinner ( well iif you call soup made from everything going bad in fridge okay ) .Was super thin. But dont remember hunger. Weird.

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#31

Lack of choice. People think poor people just make poor choices because they want to. No. Most of the time poor people can choose from a few very s****y choices. And even if they choose the best one, they are still being s**t on for it.

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Geoffrey Scott
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1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I hope you admit though, that some decisions are poorly made. I see so many that have little, but want shiny trinkets that add no value, and don't last. Or paying for the latest fancy $1000 phone, when a <$200 phone works just fine.

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#32

You learn to stretch everything, even hope, when resources are limited.

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#33

Leftovers are precious.

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Geoffrey Scott
Geoffrey Scott
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am stunned when people say they don't eat leftovers. So, what, you just throw any extra away?

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#34

Lack of proper nutrition, and the effects of it. You can buy boxes of Little Debbie snacks for a few dollars, but a bag of apples is $8.

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HTakeover
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1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can go to produce department head and ask if they have any fruit/veggies they're going to chuck out. Most of the time they'll send something your way though occasionally you have to pay a pittance. Depending on the part of town & the size of it, you may need different excuses. This time of year, on the edge of town it works to tell them it's for deer - got a couple 5-gal buckets' worth of imperfect apples for $5. Sometimes you can tell them it's for your dog or rabbit - got some free wilted greens that way. Unless you build a relationship with the head, you'll have to limit how often you hit up a particular store. But it's something.

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#35

One thing people who weren’t poor don’t really get is how you always had to think about money on every little thing. Like, even simple stuff like snacks or going to the movies wasn’t just a fun idea. It was, "Can we afford it?" or "Do we have enough to cover everything else?" I remember wearing hand me downs that didn’t fit quite right and pretending not to care when kids teased me. Or when the power would get cut off and we will sit around with candle. It wasn’t just about not having stuff, it was the constant worry and knowing that one little thing going wrong could mess everything up. That’s the part people don’t really see.

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Michael Fernandez
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To this day, as a retired engineer with expendable income, I don’t snack and rarely eat dessert. They never became part of my eating habits.

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#36

"You Just Get So Tired": 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like How you sort of rack up illnesses and health issues from the constant stress and lack of medical care. When I got out of poverty there was a couple of years where I was playing catchup on all these things just to get myself back to baseline normal: steroid shots to stop the daily migraines, appointments to a neurologist to make sure the migraines weren’t a sign of something more serious, checking up on those stomach ulcers I got in college and didn’t do anything about because tuition was due. And all the doctors would ask why I had no medical history and would be surprised when I told them this was the first time I could afford to see them.

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smugdruggler
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This makes me grateful for the NHS. It might not be perfect, but I don't have to worry about paying to see a doctor.

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#37

From the other side: my husband grew up poor, and I grew up rich, and apparently according to him I often said things that made it clear I had no idea what it was like to struggle financially.

I didn’t understand why he would shop at thrift stores when (in my own words apparently,) “Target and Walmart are cheap and unused.”

I didn’t understand why he would put unfinished drinks in the fridge instead of dumping them down the sink.

I didn’t understand why he bought so many food ingredients when restaurants exist and are less work.

Don’t worry, I’ve been explained to and humbled since, and now he can afford things he never had as a kid.

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#38

Being poor is expensive because you can’t buy things in bulk.

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#39

Simple joys mean everything.

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#40

Food guilt. I have food insecurity, but the guilt is just as much. Every bit of food I eat, when money starts to get low, or even when I am visiting people who have money, I feel like I am stealing from the rest of the household.


"I'm hungry, but if I eat these two pieces of toast, that's two pieces less for partner/parent/sibling/friend who might need it more".


As the oldest child, foregoing things so others could have them is a part of my DNA.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then the horror when everyone does this and that last apple is not so good anymore.

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#41

That beans on toast is a acceptable meal for any time of day. Maybe for even all 3 meals.

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#42

The shame you experience when trying to fit in or act like everyone else that wasn’t poor and having someone point it out in front of others to take you down a notch.

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#43

Just how much headspace money takes up. You ALWAYS think about money. You think about when more money is coming in. Change is not superfluous, it is vital. Money is like a d**g, you love and hate it at the same time.

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#44

Being poor is a huge health risk. That $10 greasy “food” that people brag that it serves homeless? Well, it isn’t particularly adding longevity to their life. Hygiene comes at a premium. Bath soaps, clean running water, unshared toilet seats are all a luxury. Poor people don’t have insurance, so they are one bad medical bill away from an unrecoverable credit score. Vicious circle of death is what it is.

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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Substance abuse is also much more alluring when you have nothing. Crazy right? It must take a real genius to wonder why communities and people dealing with poverty are disproportionately affected by both addiction and the punitive consequences of the "war on dr^gs".

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#45

Our pipes froze every year because we lived in a poorly insulated trailer. My mother would collect snow and melt it on the stovetop for water to do laundry/teeth brushing etc. That’s a type of poor people don’t appreciate until they do it every year for months at a time.

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#46

Being poor can leave you with PTSD. The effects are real and can impact the rest of your life, even if you become financially stable.

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Martin
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Money has always been tight throughout my life, so when I needed to buy anything, it was literally a "Do I need this... or do I want this" conversation in my head where I'd put something back on the shelf just to save money. Now that I've just recently turned 50, even though I money in the bank, it's still the same conversation each time I need to buy anything. I get that nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach when I buy something, and is something that I may never know anything else throughout my life.

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#47

This is maybe more applicable to poor people in urban centres but you don't get any privacy and everything's always loud. Your apartment's probably too small for the amount of people living there and you don't have a private outdoor space. You can probably also hear your neighbours and they can hear you. You do your laundry in the laundromat. You either walk or take public transit as transportation and you're definitely going to be that kid who loses their s**t on the subway at some point.

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#48

When you're a kid and it clicks that you should never ask for things or show that you want something since all it does is make your folks upset because they can't get it for you. Never finishing school projects because you know they can't afford the supplies so you just take the F. Being the ONLY kid from your class who didn't go on the field trip so you work in the school office all day. Or if there are more of you, they'll let you just sit in the cafeteria or library all day. And then to cap it off, your senior when your parents ask about class rings or yearbooks, you tell them you never got the form or just forgot about it.

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#49

The biggest thing I remember being judged for was not being able to drive until I was already in my third year of college.


Back at my first job fast food job, I remember this one girl wanting me to switch with her in the morning shift, which I couldn't make because the bus doesn't run that early. She gave me attitude and said "you can't switch for something important for me", to which I responded "If it's important, you should have planned ahead of time". Then she literally cried saying that was mean and that she won't have her car tomorrow and all I can think was "boohoo b***, I don't even have a car".



Another instance, after my first "proper job", I hooked up with a pretty wealthy lady. We were talking about our past and she mentioned how she wouldn't have hooked up with me if she knew I was a loser who couldn't drive until my mid 20's. and I had to look at her firmly and tell her "You don't know what it's like to have to pay for your own driving lessons and car because you have abusive parents that neither can nor will teach you how to drive and buy you your first car".

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cerinamroth
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can always say you never learned because you had a chauffeur ;-) No, but seriously I do understand. I don't drive and we don't have a car (although that is now a conscious choice). I had to pay for my own driving lessons (on top of rent) and never passed my test because my father was abusive and I was far, far too jumpy on the roads. I still wouldn't be safe on the roads for the same reason now. My husband and I could afford a car now but we don't want one because we realise the precedent we are setting for our kids. Our children can walk far, far further than other kids their age without complaining. We stop and look at nature and talk about everything under the sun because there are no distractions when you're walking. I love walking my daughter to school every morning, even on wet autumn mornings when it's blowing a gale and freeze-your-tits-off winter afternoons. It makes us feel connected to each other, and to our world. She loves those times too and often tells me so.

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#50

Hunger. I don’t mean “I was so busy I forgot to eat lunch”, I mean never having enough food day after day after week after year.

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#51

Sometimes your possessions ended up in a p**n shop for beer money.

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#52

I wanted to work at about 8. In my child mind, I thought it would help because my mother wouldn't work. My father made the bare minimum and they had a s****y relationship. I learned to not hope for Christmas presents early on. .

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#53

That it's not so bad if the family is intact and loving.

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cerinamroth
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poverty is always s**t. Abusive families are always s**t. It's not a competition.

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