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“You Just Get So Tired”: 30 People Share What Being Poor Is Like
Interview With Expert
Last week, Reddit user PrestonRoad90 made a post on the platform, asking those who grew up poor to share the things they believe people with more money will never understand about them.
It quickly gained traction and sparked thousands of heartfelt responses about the lasting impact of financial hardship. Many described how their experiences shaped their views on money, security, and even relationships.
From small but meaningful sacrifices to constantly worrying about bills, the thread highlighted the challenges that the wealthier may never have to consider.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
You just get so tired. It feels like there's no resting because there's always the pervasive feeling that you should be doing/making/fixing something. Poverty means constant planning - for the next meal, for the next bill, for the next crisis.
k1ddkanuck 2 months ago (edited)
Even when asleep, it's not rest. It can take hours to fall asleep. Even at that point, dreams become extensions of whatever stress was going on before falling asleep. When the dreams are good, the best part of the day is when your brain decides you can just keep sleeping.
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#2
Being poor is very expensive.
For example, if you're unable to afford to pay a speeding ticket, it will accrue late fees, making it even harder to pay off.
If you need money right now to buy food and pay rent, Payday Loan shops can help you, but with exorbitant interest rates so you'll end up paying back way more than you borrowed.
If you have a toothache but can't afford to see the dentist, it can grow into something worse and more costly to fix.
Marcos Valencia 2 months ago (edited)
Again, the Sam Vimes "Boots" theory of socioeconomic unfairness. When you're poor, credit is expensive. When you're rich enough, credit is cheaper than buying in cash. Sir Terry Pratchett's clairvoyance strikes again.
As disadvantaged as some of us might start, there are things we can do to help our financial situation. Michelle Schroeder-Gardner, the founder of Making Sense of Cents, where she helps readers make smart decisions about how to earn, save, spend, and invest, told Bored Panda, "No matter a person's background, learning how to budget and understand the difference between needs and wants is very important."
"It’s also important to understand the concept of saving early on, even if it's just small amounts, and to recognize the value of delayed gratification—waiting for what you truly want instead of making impulsive purchases," Schroeder-Gardner added. "It's also important to learn the value of working for something yourself. When you earn your own money, you understand better how much things really cost, and you are more likely to spend it wisely. This responsibility helps you make better choices about spending and saving your money."
#3
How little activities like “bring valentines for everyone in class” or “let’s hold a bake sale” were stressful AF.
Mabelbabel 2 months ago
Telling your classmates you can't go to their birthday party (but not telling them you can't go because your parents can't afford to buy a birthday present for you to give)
#4
The anxiety you feel at the cash register. Knowing there’s nothing else you can put back, that you genuinely need every item and it’s the cheapest possible price, but somehow it’s still too expensive. That feeling never goes away.
quentariel 2 months ago
I have a panic disorder and I refuse to panic at the cash register. So if my money are low, I have to use my phone calculator to count every single item, then double check my bank account balance before even approaching the register.
But the road might be long. Almost 6 in 10 Americans say they'd need to earn at least $100,000 a year to stop feeling anxious about their bills, according to a new report from Edelman Financial Engines.
About half of that group set the amount even higher at $200,000 per year or more, the financial services firms found.
#5
How difficult it is to crawl out of generational poverty.
JJ 2 months ago
I feel this. Husband and I both crawled out of poverty, working our butts off to earn a decent income. He hates it when colleagues claim they're "so normal people" who worked so hard for what they've but had parents who sponsored stuff like driving license, paydowns for cars, a house, housing while being in training and the like. We both know what it's like to live off noodles and ketchup for weeks because there's nothing left in the bank account.
#6
When you are starving and there's nothing to eat so the only option left is to try and sleep because you hope that when you wake up you won't feel so hungry.
Kali Chaos 2 months ago
That's heart wrenching. I've been there. My dog always ate well and ate first, so there were plenty of times I didn't. If you're struggling currently, DM me and I'll buy you a pizza.
Only 12% of the 3,000 respondents said they consider themselves wealthy and only 4 in 10 people who are objectively wealthy, with assets of more than $2 million, said they considered themselves rich.
At the same time, anxiety about personal finances has increased from last year, Edelman found, with roughly a third saying they're worried in 2024, versus 29% a year ago. That's despite a soaring stock market and wages that have been edging ahead of inflation since May 2023.
#7
How exhausting it is to constantly worry about making ends meet.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 months ago
Yep, you're always gonna have that just knocking at every turn.
#8
The constant fear of running out of money that creates this weird obsession over and guilt about spending money, even when you've got decent finances.
I grew up poor and my partner grew up upper-middle class. We have managed to carved out a pretty comfortable life but I still have panic attacks about money and being able to afford essentials (food, rent, etc.). They are flabbergasted every time it happens. Like supportive but completely confused as to why I get so upset. My response is always "money can run out". .
k1ddkanuck 2 months ago (edited)
When you're still poor as an adult, or even just straddling the line between sometimes being comfortable and other times barely making ends meet, this can also go the other way... Suddenly you have a bit more cash on hand than you usually do (when you're used to living in and/or on the edge of poverty all your life)? Enter the inescapable and irrepressible urge to spend a night or two indulging in the sort of spending you normally don't allow yourself to indulge in. Because you literally need to do so. Not just for self gratification, but maybe even more importantly, in order to spend time with and maintain your social circle. If you don't, you know from experience that the people who are genuinely your friends (but have more than you) will just stop inviting you to participate in things that cost money (aka everything)- not because they don't want you there, but because half the time they invite you to do things you're too broke to participate like everyone else. So when you can, you spend that money like the people you value (but can't keep up with financially). The panic attacks happen "tomorrow", and persist until your next paycheque. Rinse and repeat.
Ultimately, Michelle Schroeder-Gardner of Making Sense of Cents believes that people who grew up poor and those who grew up wealthy can understand each other, "but it takes work/effort and good communication."
"They have different experiences, so how they think about money and life can be very different," she explained. "Someone who grew up poor might focus more on saving and basic needs, while someone who grew up wealthy may not have faced those struggles. But if they listen to each other and try to learn, they can understand each other better. It’s all about being open and caring/empathetic about the other person’s experience."
#9
That Sugar toast is an acceptable dinner.
Adam Chang 2 months ago
"If you're poor how can you be so fat" healthy food is crazy expensive.
#10
How much relationships matter. You're alot safer in a dangerous neighborhood if you know and have good allies/friends in the neighborhood. It's alot easier to share a bedroom with four or so other people if you like those people. You can't afford that new car part, but if you know that dude in the neighborhood who fixes cars, he might hook you up for a little cash. Etc etc. TLDR: having solid, good relationships with people you have history with can make a WORLD of difference.
Marcos Valencia 2 months ago (edited)
Rich people are well aware of the importance of relationships, actually. For different reasons, but they do.
#11
Being bullied for being poor.
MoMcB 2 months ago
Grew up in a council estate. My Dad worked really hard. Made the choice to send us all to grammar school, but that meant we rented. No bad thing, we were loved, had decent food on the table and the books etc we needed. But the rich kids still bullied as I didn't have the latest fashions, or get the good haircuts/ make up. I met one a few years ago. She asked me if I remembered her, I sai said
#12
Food insecurity. I’m 60 and even now having no debt and being in a good spot, I still hoard food and keep any bit of leftovers. I remember going hungry and/or only having a small portion to eat..no seconds.
#13
Getting to stay home instead of school field trips because mom could never afford the ticket.Used to get excited about it until I realized why.
#14
Amount of time feeling powerless.
#15
Your parents not being able to support you into adulthood. Hell, mine stopped being able to when I was 15. I can always tell someone didn’t come from poverty when their suggestion to somebody facing financial troubles is “talk to your parents”.
cerinamroth 2 months ago
Mine made me pay rent from 16! No wonder I was the poorest at university (I paid my own fees of course), using my birthday book tokens from my beloved grandma to buy a sandwich from the book shop at the station that actually sold sandwiches, and stealing the odd snack from the place I worked (sorry, but not really sorry). Thank heavens I managed to scrape through my studies and move a long way away.
#16
How stupid the phrase "it'll cost more to repair it than it's worth" is when it comes to car repairs.
It doesn't matter if that s**tbox isn't worth $500; a $600 repair that you're going to have to beg, borrow, and steal to afford is still cheaper than coming up with a down payment, monthly payments, full coverage insurance, etc that you need for a decent used car.
Also, just how many laws and proposed laws utterly f**k over the poor. Emission inspections being a big one.
UncleJohn3000 2 months ago (edited)
Nagh, there are lost causes and the sunk cost fallacy just lets you sink deeper. The hard part is guessing ahead of time. OP didn't really live in poverty if they think you replace a shitbox with a new car. In poverty, you just buy a better shitbox.
#17
Being poor means constantly worrying about basic needs and future stability.
#18
Seeing your mother wear 20+ year old worn out clothing and what amount to rags she collected from hospital visits, all so her child could have the best. Then the sadness of not being able to spoil her when you finally have your own money because she passed away too young.
Well... I just made myself sad lol.
#19
Small problems become large ones when you don't have adequate savings
Any extra expense can be catastrophic.
#20
Going to the grocery store and not being able to afford the food you very exactly budgeted for because they raised the price of an item.
The most mortifying experience ever is getting to the register and discovering your total is mere cents above what you can afford so you have to pick an item to put back.
Or, finding out your card won’t go through because you forgot you paid your car insurance and there’s not enough money in your account to cover your groceries.
“Oh, wrong card, let’s try this one…” declined.
“That’s not the one, let’s try this one…” declined.
“Can we split the payment onto multiple cards?
“Oh, there’s not enough on that card to cover it? I’m sorry. Never mind. I’ll find out what money I have where and come back.”
As you walk of shame worse than any college one night stand has ever felt. Carrying your infant child on your hip leaving your groceries all behind because you can’t afford them.
I wish no one ever had to feel this way. But I also kinda wish everyone had to at least once.
whineygingercat 2 months ago
And then mom intentionally writes the bad check. Hoping, praying that the $$$ will clear the bank BEFORE that check does. Because she looks at her two little girls and KNOWS she has to do SOMETHING. (1980's, checks weren't scanned at the register to verify funds, I took a couple of days)
#21
That oftentimes poor people make the decision to buy the thing that makes them happy when they can, instead of constantly saving only for what they need.
#22
As a fellow poor kid, the stinky kid in class probably didn’t have deodorant/couldn’t afford the proper deodorant. It still could be true for the stinky poor adult in your life. Be mindful and considerate sometimes.
#24
Even basic needs are luxury for you.
k1ddkanuck 2 months ago (edited)
The other day, I admitted to a good friend that things like Amazon Prime and other subscription based services are just not in my budget these days. Sympathetically but without a shred of irony or critical awareness, she was like "Oh my god, how do you even survive?!". It was a joke and I laughed along. And that's fine. I'd rather she remain oblivious.
#25
You fix things yourself.
Glen Ellyn 2 months ago
I've always preferred to fix things myself if I can. Now, thanks to YouTube, I can fix things I never thought I could before.
#26
Maybe Obama care has helped. But healthcare wasn’t a thing. Need stitches the lady across the street did that for hamburger meat. Got jumped in the bathroom and have a big knot on your head lay down in the dark while your mom tells you not to fall asleep. I joined the Coast Guard when I turned 18 and boot camp was the first time I had been to a dentist.
My mom had mental health issues. She would get jobs and then lose them. She used me as a p**n in her games with my dad. I went to 21 schools from7th Grade to Graduation. You don’t get to go to college when you have been to 9 different high schools and have months long gaps between them.
People say it’s about making good choices. What if don’t know anyone who makes those like ever?
I joined the military and pulled myself up by my bootstraps so to speak. But it took its toll on my body for sure. But I would be dead or in prison if I hadn’t had a 10th grade teacher who wrote me a plan in detention that would be the best advice I ever got.
whineygingercat 2 months ago
Dentist? Annual cleaning? Nope. Only trip to the dentist was when I had teeth knocked out of my mouth in gym class, 1st grade.
#27
Being told:
"Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.".
Geoffrey Scott 2 months ago
People are amazed, our stuff is usually a long term purchase, meaning we hang on to it for a long time. If it works, why not take care of it?
#29
"Money doesn't buy happiness" Ahahahahahahahahahahahah.
whineygingercat 2 months ago
No, but it DOES buy the necessities for life and the luxuries most people can not begin to hope for. Once the weight of "how do I pay all the bills this month and still afford to eat" is lifted, one can start to relax. From there, happiness can happen.
#30
Hunger. That dull pain that eats you through to your backbone and you can’t escape, even through tears is something that can only be understood if you’ve experienced it.
The anxiety and shame associated with grocery shopping. The panic when the register total is higher than your mental calculations halfway through and the shame of putting groceries back but please get this one…panicked total check, and playing the game of how much can I get for my money during checkout.
Having to kill a pet so you can eat. Those bunnies and chickens we got were quickly turned into meat sources during the lean times. Hard for an 11 year old kid to understand that bun bun was not a pet and don’t get attached, I went vegan for a while as an adult because I was so traumatized but to this day I’ll eat a rooster as soon as it utters its first cockadoodle because f**k those mean bastards.
The poverty smell. There’s just a smell associated with poverty that can’t be described. I’ll be in public and pick up a whiff and I’m instantly transported back to my childhood/teen years. If you know, you know.
What do you think ?
k1ddkanuck 2 months ago
This is my life. Evey day. It's a hard read, but easier than living it.
zovjraar me 2 months ago
this brought back so many memories. moving every 6 months to get a "move-in deal" at a new apartment. adding water to the shampoo and conditioner to make it last longer. shopping at the thrift store. living on goolash, which i hate, made of elbow noodles, tomatoes, and ground beef. having a kerosene heater and camping in the living room because the electric was cut off again. being a teenager with no phone- the closest phone was the payphone at the 7-11 down the street. not going on field trips. not being able to have friends over because we couldn't afford to feed anyone else. i'm so glad i grew up poor. i know the struggle. i will never forget. i will never judge others for where they're at financially. i never got a car gifted to me, i never even had furniture given to me as a young adult starting out. i had to do everything myself. it's so hard and exhausting and it's sad, and i do hope we can improve life for those who are younger than us.
Premislaus de Colo 2 months ago
When at teachers-parents meeting you find out your kids didn't tell you about class excursions, or cinema trips and you ask them why and they tell you they know you don't have money being single dad...
k1ddkanuck 2 months ago
This is my life. Evey day. It's a hard read, but easier than living it.
zovjraar me 2 months ago
this brought back so many memories. moving every 6 months to get a "move-in deal" at a new apartment. adding water to the shampoo and conditioner to make it last longer. shopping at the thrift store. living on goolash, which i hate, made of elbow noodles, tomatoes, and ground beef. having a kerosene heater and camping in the living room because the electric was cut off again. being a teenager with no phone- the closest phone was the payphone at the 7-11 down the street. not going on field trips. not being able to have friends over because we couldn't afford to feed anyone else. i'm so glad i grew up poor. i know the struggle. i will never forget. i will never judge others for where they're at financially. i never got a car gifted to me, i never even had furniture given to me as a young adult starting out. i had to do everything myself. it's so hard and exhausting and it's sad, and i do hope we can improve life for those who are younger than us.
Premislaus de Colo 2 months ago
When at teachers-parents meeting you find out your kids didn't tell you about class excursions, or cinema trips and you ask them why and they tell you they know you don't have money being single dad...
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