30 Parents Who Are Turning Their Teens Against Them With Their Infuriating Actions

My mother is like this. She always had a way to either brush my feelings off, compare it to others or make it all about her. This made me being unable to talk about my emotions or feelings because I know she doesn't care and only brush it off, say that she's a bad mother or even compare it to others like "How dare you to talk about feeling depressed! The son of my coworker is depressed and tried to unalive himself multiple times this month!".

My mother always asks me questions about my day, how I'm feeling etc and before I can even reply starts talking about herself

Euk. My mom was and is the same and I'm in my 30's now

Bookworm

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So much of this on r/insaneparents.

I agree with this... my husband and I have three teenagers and we do our best to let them speak their minds. As long as they do it in a respectiful way we always listen. Parents do need to start looking at their kids as human beings.

There was a pic going round on FB that said, "Don't punish the behaviour you want to see." So, if a socially timid child finally comes out of their room, don't say, "So you've decided to join us, have you?" in a sarcastic way. Reminds me of my aunt who invited me to my cousins' joint birthday party by saying, "Are you going to crawl out of your hole and join us?" That was the start of me cutting her out completely. And no, I didn't join them.

When I was a teenager, part of my chores were to vacuum and wash up. I always ended up being screamed at. She'd always find some bit I'd missed or new requirement I'd never been told and SCREAM. I finally stopped trying to take the initiative and do things when I realised that I'd rather be screamed at for being lazy (at least that was fair) than sincerely trying to keep everything nice only to be screamed at for being totally useless (in short, doing it actually guaranteed being screamed at immediately after).

I don't know about this one. I have 17 yr old boy/girl twins and my girl takes after me and has some depression/anxiety issues, not majorly but they are there. The "letting the room get pretty messy" is something she deals with but she will openly tell me or her bro about the reason it happens and she does have these random jolts of "let's clean and organize energy" that she likes to be recognized for. It kind of breaks her heart if she puts in a lot of effort to do something and nobody notices. I can't stand for her to feel that way so I will always make sure she knows that I know she worked hard on something and it makes her feel much more needed and appreciated.

"Yeah, I changed my mind. F**k you very much, mom."

Normal. Right.

Not normal. See if you can find a trusted adult to intervene on your behalf. It's disturbing.

It's like sports. Some fathers try to live out their failure in an activity through their son's success.

If I found out your dad was talking like that, I'd suspect you of being just like him and run for the hills. Tell him his misogyny is doing just the opposite, you're Losing girls.

That's really just sick and disgusting.

ew

I'm 34 and still sometimes feel like this - BUT, as a teenager, I didn't see it as my parents caring about me. Totally different now.

Being an overthinker, you can trust that I've already told myself off plenty without anyone else lecturing me too

yeah my parents did this so I don't do this to my kids. If they make a mistake that I warned them about I talk with them rather than at them... makes a huge difference.

I hated then and now when anyone does that. If I talk to you or tell you about something, please assume that the info is not for publication. Can't people just feel good about the fact that someone will share that part of them without putting it out there?

I don't know what it is with kids and "their" room ? When I was a child & teenager, all I did in "my room" was sleep or perhaps listen to my radio if I wanted to listen to a different program than my parents. Otherwise, we all sat, talked, ate and watched TV together. I did my study at the dining room table. But of course, these were the '50s & '60s. Life was so much simpler then.

Time to lock the door. And get a timer that you visibly turn on when they start in. "You have 90 seconds and your time starts...NOW."

I don't go into my daughter's room, but she and her mother just roll into each other's bedrooms all the time. I find it weird, but they don't. Sometimes I have to yell "Hold on!" because I'm getting dressed. And my stepkids and daughter had the habit of telling my business to their friends. I just asked if it would be funny if I told X story... they don't think it would be, so I tell them to respect my privacy as well.

Oh the telling of personal stuff! So infuriating! I stopped telling my mom stuff in high school because I found out she would repeat it. Evening after college, I had to have a heart-to-heart with her on why I found it disturbing that she would share my salary and raises with her co-workers. She was proud, I know, but my salary was not their business!

Advocates devil here: Only wanting to hear good things isn't helpful. Sometimes people need a wakeup call and as a mom you're closer to your kids. I told my kid they needed to use more deoderant / shower more / change clothes more because they smelled more now because of their hormones. I rather have me tell them, than them being avoided at school because they smell. I rather tell them that pants is way to tight and unflattering, than them going out in it and looking like a fool. I rather tell her to take off the makeup than for her to go out with it. She's still learning, so I DO help her put make up on more modestly. I rather tell my son his breath stinks than him going out with it. Many of those things are not nice to hear. (Rereading: Maybe OP doesn't mean these kind of things, but probably things like: You'll never find a partner with your current bodyshape?") In that case, ignore my comment.

"Based on past experience, there's no 'probably' about it."

This is sad. A child always deserves the help and kindness of a parent, they shouldn't have to "earn" it, ffs.

She has an underlying psychological issue.

THIS. I was afraid to tell my mother literally anything because it felt like no matter what I did, I was doing something wrong and would be punished for it.

The ONLY time that I've ever made comments to my niece was when she was in middle school (grades 6th-8th) and what those girls were wearing in the middle of freaking winter! It could be 20 to 30 degrees outside/-6 to 0 Celsius and these kids would be wearing spaghetti strap tops and shorts with more makeup on then girls in college. What in the hell are these Parents thinking?! Its bad enough in the Summer, but letting your kids leave the house like that when it's below freezing is f****d up and YES I will judge those parents, because that's a hill I will die on.

Is this in the wrong article?

...guess who needs to get diagnosed with anxiety....OP's mom!

Many anxiety disorders are from parental "learned behaviour".

I was raised in Greenwich Village, NYC in the 60s and 70s. So for me growing up, gay was just a regular thing that some grownups were. I was a young adult before I even realized how toxic and rampant homophobia is. I still don't fully get why so many people even care let alone work up the energy to be hateful about it.

My brother came out and my mother cried, asking what she did wrong.

This boggles my mind. The love for my son outweighs absolutely any and everything else. I can't imagine any scenario that would make me love him less, and being gay isn't even on that radar.

My mom removed my door for a month to punish me for not keeping it clean. The lack of privacy was devastating for a teen.

My mother got better at it. When I was young she always did a knock and immediately open the door, but would leave the door open after leaving. Then after years we moved houses. As i now had the small attic completely to myself I use doorstoppers to keep them all open. Then she would enter and try to close the door when leaving.

That is rude behaviour. As parent you have to knock the door.

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Why does the door have to closed in the first place ? Open door = openness about one's self.