This is heartbreaking and so honest.

Damn. The fact that this could happen to anyone having kids is just... nope for me. I will stay childless. Can't imagine going through that for the rest of your life.

Ensure his safety during his life. I wish I could give him more relief but I do the best I can. He's about 98% nonverbal and 1000% dependent on me and only me. I've struggled financially his whole life and things have only gotten slightly easier since I married my husband, his step father. But my husband is frustrated as well at the thought of never being able to make memories or go on trips together or even go out to eat. It's nonstop and no one wants to help. I know you love your son. I understand every word of your post. And it gives me a little relief to know I'm not the only one. Stay strong and take advantage of every free second you can. Don't expect anyone to understand because they can't and that's okay. You are not a bad person for feeling this way.

There have been times he has wiped with anything cloth-like he can find and there have been many times I've broken down in tears because I have to overhaul his entire room. His room is right next to the bathroom but instead of going, it's like he waits to be told and if I don't catch him in time, it's everywhere. And he knows it's not right to do that so I don't understand why he doesn't just go to the damn bathroom. But, he knows he's different and lives a life probably desperately wanting to be like everyone else, but like your son, he has no friends and no real future. I'm constantly worried what would happen to him if I die or something happens to me. I never imagined myself saying this but I can only hope he dies before me because it's the only way I can ensure his safety

The kid you have described literally sounds like you are talking about my son. I'm every single aspect. And I understand exactly how you feel and your frustration. I love my son immensely but any thought of fulfilling an education or dreams or like you said, traveling, is practically impossible. My sons father left when he was a baby and completely disappeared from his life about 4 years ago because he wanted a "normal" son. I've been raising him alone almost all his life and it's been incredibly isolating. Also just like you said, he didn't ask for any of this. There have been days I know he wants something, is sad or scared or has questions but he will never have an answer because I have no idea what he is thinking. He is potty trained, but also doesn't really understand toilet paper so there have been times he has wiped with

This is a problem with most caregiving families of severely disabled persons. It isnt that they don't love someone. It is that it's a never ending, back breaking, soul crushing task. The people who advocate for families to have to sign up for this by being in a particular state, should be forced to care for some of these children and adults to see how extraordinarily difficult it is.

Everyone that down voted you can go pound sand. I'm the single parent of an autistic child and you're 110% correct, there is absolutely never one second off. My son is nonverbal and definitely has his issues if you get him out of his routine. Last summer, I traveled for the first time, he's 14, just him and I to go on a 4 day weekend/vacation with my best friend, just to get out of Dodge for a bit. Much to my surprise, he was absolutely great on the trip. He is very sensitive to sound and light, and we had a four hour ride in the car. I kept the music low, just so I wouldn't go insane without any kind of music the entire ride. I kept talking to him the entire trip and he did great the entire ride to our destination and back home. It took him a little bit to be ok with the place we were staying but once we got to the pool, he was in heaven. I can truly appreciate what you're saying and where you're coming completely. I know it can be frustrating as hell because like you said.

I'm happy to hear the raw side. I have a friend with a severely autistic son, this is the world I can see but people have no idea. Kudos to this and all hard working parents of kids with disabilities, my mother included.

Going to check if my contraception is in order.

I don't know if you've looked into Home Help assistance and things like that. There are many wonderful, caring professionals who support families like yours. Some run Group Homes, which functioning autistic adults can go live and be independent but cared for and also house those that have too much going on to take care of themselves. There's help out there. It doesn't make you a failure or a monster. There's a point where you can only do and know so much. Info and support can help all of you. https://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2013/07/15/15-indispensible-websites-for-parents-of-children-with-autism/

This is why I hate it when people say "you're only given as much as you can cope with." I ended up in a psych ward when I had 2 autistic kids and an adhd toddler. I get your 25% thing about the T-shirt! With undies and a kid who soils them up to 8 times a day and compartmentalises anything to do with it in a big denial box, you discover how many variants there are on a garment with 3 holes... now they're bigger it is easier, mostly. Love them fiercely, but often dislike them.

I imagine this has been said before, but I'll say it again since it's important. Being frustrated and angry with this situation DOES NOT make you a bad person. It doesn't even make you less of a good one. Remember that YOUR life still matters. You're entitled to your own wants and goals and it is the simplest fact of human nature that being denied those things hurts. You know your son is hurting, and that's great. Just remember that you are suffering too, and that is okay. You're allowed to be angry and frustrated because everything he goes through you have to go through, too.

Thank you for being honest about this. It's a sweet image that "he ain't heavy, he's my brother" but not all of us have that much strength.

I'm so sorry and I wish I could support you in any way possible. I read your thread very carefully and be more aware of people in need of help around me to help there. I admire you for your endurance and love and I wish you all better days to come and hopefully you can get someone to help you. Big hug!

I can absolutely understand this dad's frustration. It's obvious he loves his son very much. But having to live this way 24hrs a day is so exhausting in every way possible. And it never stops, no matter how tired you are. It is also very hard on the siblings due to how much attention he requires. There can, understandably be a great deal of resentment on their part at times. I used to work in 2 different Children's Villages where there were cottages, their homes, with staff specially educated to care for them 24hrs a day. But once they were adults there was no funding and couldn't stay. It makes me furious that parents get no in home help. No break. And yes, his dear son, this is his life. No help is just cruel. To the family. To their son.

Don't be hard on yourself. Everyone can be tired and have a bad day. You're and amazing parent.

My 11-year-old daughter has autism. She started speaking very early around 6 months. . Then we moved and she stopped talking altogether, she had repetitive behaviors, walked on her tip-toes, etc. There is ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NO 2 CHILDREN ALIKE WITH AUTISM! My daughter is now 11-years-old and makes straight A’s in normal classrooms, she also speaks 5, yes 5 languages, she has a photographic memory, she can tell you where she was on a specific date and time 5 years ago, but she can’t tie her shoes, get dressed by herself, even though I’ve tried for years to show her. She can go to the bathroom and clean herself as normally as anybody, but it took me until she was 6-years-old to teach her. She has girlfriends that she plays with, if that’s what you wanna call it, she has so much trouble with Socialization. If I ask her a question she mainly answers yes or no, she Will try To explain some Situations to me, but She has trouble saying what she wants to. Consistency and patience,

Please get a therapist for yourself before it's too late.