Join the Fun!

Parenting blogger Samantha, from 'Walking Outside in Slippers,' explained that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Every family, every situation is unique.

"'Bad behavior' has become very subjective for me when it comes to kids. I have a son with ADHD, and he can't always control his outbursts. Those outbursts can include cursing or kicking a wall. There was a time when I would have wondered why parents with a kid like that weren't doing their job. But punishment isn't effective with my son," mom Samantha was very candid about some of the challenges that she has to face as a parent.

"Screaming and yelling back only add fuel to the fire. He does better with rewards and consistency. I believe it's important for parents to customize their parenting and consequences for undesirable behavior to what works best for their child. There's no one-size-fits-all punishment for all kids," she said.

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why When I became pregnant, I had not ever wanted a child. I was not at all happy, in fact I cried so much and became very depressed. I felt very pressured I to going through with it by my husband. He had very good intentions but it was just not something I wanted for myself. We had agreed before we married that we did not want children.
So I was very resentful and miserable. But I absolutely did my best to be a good mother because my baby had no say in this and I beleive all babies deserve loving mothers regardless of circumstances. So I faked it as best as I could and got help. I never wanted to hurt her or for her to feel unloved but it was so hard.

Never did it feel natural to me. I never found much enjoyment out of raising a child, I was exhausted and burned out by all the stuff kids do. I resented giving up my plans, my work, my horse, my whole identity for a child I never wanted.

My daughter is now ten and we have a great relationship. I enjoy her her company now. My harshness has pretty much dissipated and I feel much better about being a parent now. Hoping my early issues have not forever damaged her.

anon , Jelleke Vanooteghem Report

Final score:

352points

POST

Axolotl King 2 years ago

You sound like a lovely parent, maybe it's not what you wanted and I'm sure it was incredibly rough but you are giving her an amazing childhood and not putting the blame on her at all. That is so awesome and I hope she recognizes and appreciates that someday

209points

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Using throwaway because my wife knows my reddit. When she was pregnant with our first and only child, we knew before birth that she was high risk of down syndrome because the gene was quite prevelant in both our family histories. We both got tested and the doctor told us that our daughter had over a 80% chance that she will be born with Down Syndrome. Our marriage up to this point was happy and wonderful.

We dated for 9 months before getting married, and were more of partners than a couple. Everything we did, we decided together. We bought our own business, which didn't cause any fights, but rather we thrived because she was good at what I wasn't and vice versa. I was a messy 'kid' before I met her, and she helped me change my ways. She lacked hobbies before I met her, and I helped her find things she truly loved doing. We were happy, very very happy.

The doctor told us that abortion was a viable option, but we needed to decide within a week or it would be too late. I knew right away that I was for the abortion, but didn't know how to bring it up. When we finally did sit down and talk, I brought all sorts of articles and books on kids with Down Sydnrome. I tried to show her rather than convince her of how hard our life would be if our child actually did have it. It was going to be hard for both os us to have a healthy child, let alone one that needed far more care. We were both busy, and happy.

She didn't want to take out our unborn child, and there was nothing I could really do to change her mind without really really making her mad and ruining our relationship. So reluctantly, I went with it.

As luck would have it, our daughter was born with translocation Down Syndrome. Only 1% of all cases of down syndrome are that, and it has a lot to do with heriditory conditions. I don't want to go into how bad our life became. I really can't even handle typing it out. My wife had to quit her job which she adored. We had to move to a smaller house after a year and a half because of the medical bills. When I came home from work, she was too tired to talk or even see me and went to bed, and my entire 5 hours of free time every. single. day. was spent caring for our daughter in some form or another. I Didn't see my friend for 9 months. Missed my cousins wedding because we couldn't even think about travelling.

Everything changed, and everything changed for the worst. My wife and I only talked when we fought. Either she was too tired and that caused her anger, or I worked too much and didn't help her enough. To tell you my life went to s**t is an understatement, because I can't even imagine how much extra stress my wife must have endured in those first couple of years.

I don't hate my daughter. But I do resent the fact that we had her, even though I knew our life would be this way. I go to the parks sometimes and sit and watch all the happy fathers play with their happy kids. Watch them throw the ball around, or just run around the jungle gym. That's the life I wanted, that I dreamed of, but I will never have. My wife and I are still together because neither wants to burden the other by leaving.

throwheraway19999 , John Looy Report

Final score:

338points

POST

Wilson. 2 years ago

Jesus christ - what a situation :(

297points

Bored Panda was interested to understand how parents might deal with their kids lying. "When I catch my kids lying, I try to get to the root of why. And I let them know that lying is a worse offense than whatever they're lying to cover up," blogger Samantha explained how she approaches this with her own kids.

"I believe in setting high expectations for kids as far as expecting them to be good, honest people who are kind to others. And I often communicate the importance of this to my kids."

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My middle son (19) stole a 9mm pistol from my 82 year old father. When I confronted him about it he said I didn't understand, he needed the money and if I had given him more he might not have done it. 2 months later got caught on video stealing the candy money jar from a Mexican restaurant, again says if I'd had given him money ( because he's completely cut off at this point) wouldn't have done it. Downward spiral continues, he takes no responsibility for anything . He's a selfish a**hole who won't take care of his kids much less himself. I never thought I'd say this about my own child but F**K THAT GUY.

jjon670 , Fa Barboza Report

Final score:

335points

POST

bruh JJ’s 2 years ago

Wow, that is hard! Sorry you’re dealing with such a complicated situation. .

133points

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My feelings changed the moment my (then 17 year old) daughter sucker punched me on side of my head during an argument about her cleaning her room. If I wasn't holding my 1 year old at the time I'm positive I would have knocked her the f**k out. I guess in my mind she did something taboo. You never, ever hit your mom...but she did. I love her but she broke my heart that day and I can't seem to get over it.

lovdatcowbell , Julia Taubitz Report

Final score:

282points

POST

Charlotte Grace 2 years ago

I feel that. Although my (high functioning autistic) 13 year old and I have gotten into a lot of physical altercations, when he punched me in the face and I had to call the police a definite line was crossed, and I don't think things will ever be the same.

190points

Alex Bailey 2 years ago

I feel for you.

25points

Charlotte Grace 2 years ago

Thank you x

7points

GlamourGhoul 2 years ago

That is something I'm deeply fearful of. My almost 12 year old is almost bigger than me, and she tends to target me to hit, kick, bite, push etc. How do you handle things with law enforcement? I'd be terrified that they would hurt or kill my child.

17points

D Larntz Case 2 years ago

My adult autistic son went after me. Threw things at my face. The line had been crossed. I do believe in unconditional love but NOT unconditional doormatting. Nothing has been the same since. I moved him into his own apartment. Interestingly, moving out was what he wanted. Just didn’t know how to say it. He’s a different person now that he’s on his own. I still helicopter-Mom him, just don’t let him know it.

9points

Susan Mercurio 2 years ago

Most people are completely unaware of the abuse that parents can get from their children. That includes the authorities, who are trained to think of parents abusing children, not the other way around.

8points

T Lee Mac 2 years ago

I’ve had to do the same with my oldest, same diagnosis, a few times now. I’d love to tell you it gets easier but it doesn’t always. I still love him but a lot of the time I do not like him as a person and some things he’s done and continues to do I don’t feel like I’ll ever be able to forgive never mind forget.

1point

Holly Bee 2 years ago

I feel you. ❤

1point

Król Gepard 2 years ago

What was the outcome? He got into correction facility or something?

1point

Broad Panda 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Broad Panda 2 years ago

I dunno here. Two things suggest to me that the kid might have learnt this violence in the home. The fact that the Mom said she would have knocked her kid the f**k out if she could have, and that she said you should never hit your Mom, as opposed to saying you should never hit anyone.

50points

Mag Swag 2 years ago

when you put it that way… it seems like this might not be the friendliest household

20points

VodkaInMySweetTea 2 years ago

These were my same observations.

6points

June 2 years ago

Same thought here. "You never hit your mom" but pretty sure she did hit her daughter, and that's not ok either. If you hit your kid, keep in mind they could hit you some day. Last time my mom raised her hand against me, I raised mine aswell and told her "if you hit me, I hit you".

4points

Zoe Duddle 2 years ago

Exactly. No way, ever, would I say I’d knock my kid the f out, even if they hit me. I’m not saying I’d be happy or possibly even forgive them but I wouldn’t hit them back (not talking about defending myself if needed from further violence).

4points

Mag Swag 2 years ago

WHO TF PUNCHES THEIR MOM, WHO BY THE WAY IS HOLDING A BABY, IN THE FACE BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO CLEAN THEIR ROOM??

31points

ArtistinResidence 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Emma London 2 years ago

Her daughter hits her and her first thought is to hit her back, but harder? That thinking is not right. In that situation I would have kicked the daughter out of the house (she hit her while she was holding a baby, the baby could have been dropped and hurt) but to punch back? No way.

14points

PandaRave 2 years ago

She was holding her poor little baby. Honestly that’s good defense. It’s more important to protect your little baby than some teenage a*****e who’s beating you up.

13points

Kitty Cat 2 years ago

Wanting to fight back is a perfectly normal instinct when assaulted. Fight, flight, or freeze, we all do some sort of combination of them in a primal moment.

5points

Holly Bee 2 years ago

Yeah no, everyone's different, with different backgrounds and experiences, and an adult-sized person hitting another person in the head wouldn't make many people happy, I'd reckon. My knee-jerk, instinctual response would have been the same, tbh.

1point

Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago

I would need more information about how this kid was raised to make judgement on this one, but my initial reaction is to wonder if they chose to hit their kids as punishment - if this was the case then what do they expect? What are you teaching your child if your response to being bad is to use violence? Given the mum states she would've knocked the kid out I think it's likely using violence on her kid as punishment for bad behaviour. You reap what you sow

12points

Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Something breaks inside you when your kid does this to you, and it doesn't mean they haven't been raised in a loving environment. I get where you're going though, based on the comment the mum made.

0points

Suzy the observer 2 years ago

Some context and information are missing here. The kid could be a sh... or mom's not telling everything.

9points

Kitty Cat 2 years ago

There isn't much context that can justify punching a woman holding a small child. It would be hard to believe the mom was getting physical first while holding a baby.

9points

Holly Bee 2 years ago

Mine was 11. I had to call the police on my 11 year old daughter for assault. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. This wasn't a one-off. It had been building and building for about a year. Steps were taken, help, therapy, etc. No. It was the last straw, and it reminded me so strongly of her dad that even now, 4 years later, I still sometimes flinch in certain situations with her.

6points

Lori Everard 2 years ago

Maybe you are not supposed to ''get over it." Sometimes it's those powerful feelings that give us the impetus or the will to take action. You are the adult in your home and if a person no longer respects you as the provider in that home, they need to leave. The person you need to cater to, protect, cloth and feed, is your 1 yr. old, not the 17yr.old. If your 17yo does not want to follow your rules and she wants to make her own rules, then she needs to do that and find a place of her own.

3points

Cato Oomen 2 years ago (edited)

I have hit my mom. To be fair she hit me hundreds of times.

3points

Becca Hauck 2 years ago

I hit my mom once. She'd also hit me hundreds of times. Two wrongs don't make a right. In my situation though, we were in a minivan (I was 13) and picking my sister from the crowded high school parking lot. My mom told to to stick my head out and yell for my sister so I did. The moment that I did, she slapped me and in pure reflex, I slapped her back. She looked shocked but didn't say or do anything about it. I was highly relived that she didn't murder me on the spot.

1point

Alicia Kessinger Bader 2 years ago

Dear "lovdatcowbell", yes, there are times when a child hits their mother ... when she is a drunkard, emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, spiritually abusive. Been there, done that. My mother even tried to kill me & then commit suicide. I fought tooth & nail to stay alive.

3points

Shortstuff 2 years ago

My daughter, aged 14, pushed me to the floor, sat on me and punched me several times. My husband was away on business. Supported her financially, emotionally, physically and with her children until she was 47. She hasn't spoken to us for 3 years because after botched surgery, I said I was disappointed not to have heard from her for 3 weeks...not even a text. I love her because she is my daughter, but I don't like the uncaring, selfish person she has become.

3points

KttyMazMeow 2 years ago

so its a taboo for children to hit their parents, but its discipline for parents to hit their kids?🤔

2points

Jp@nda 2 years ago

I feel like there is a lot more to this story than this. You should never got your mom true, but there are things you would never say to your child either. There's definitely more to this than her being the victim here

2points

N.A. N 2 years ago

Something is missing here. Was the 17yo autistic or intellectually compromised? Or just rude?

2points

Carlotta Müller 2 years ago

Children are so very often hit and punched by their parents. They can't call the police. They can't tell other how ofter their hearts break and no one cares if children are hit by their parents. Why ist the taboo to hit your parents so much bigger? Even if the children are the ones that should be protected at all costs? If a child hits their parents those parents are at fault. They don't do that if there hasn't been something in the past and if they were brought up well.

2points

Don't Look 2 years ago

I don’t blame you. When a human attacks, it’s natural to go either flight or fight. And you did it as a protective mother (holding a baby).

2points

VolsFan39 2 years ago

At 17, you should've called the police. Still a minor, it would've been a misdemeanor charge that could've been the wake-up call she needed.

2points

Ivana Bašić 2 years ago

In stories like this, I feel like there's a lot missing. At the very least help that the kid needed that was not provided.

2points

Anjelika 2 years ago

Sometimes you get abusive/shitty parents and sometimes you get abusive/shitty children. I remember when I was 12-15 it was the time I treated my mum the worst, screaming shouting, answering back, typical preteen-teenager , now at 23 I always feel a deep shame and embarrassment whenever I remember, I can't imagine the pain a parent must feel when THAT line is crossed

2points

Deb M.F. 2 years ago

my child started that c**p with me and hit me hard in the face..she was around 21 at the time. I kicked her out and didn't care if she had no place to go. she stayed with friends, got a job, and got herself together. about 9 months went by and she changed her attitude and came back. She was diagnosed with ADHD and social anxiety. She caused issues since she was 13 or so. She refused to go to school and actually got into legal trouble due to this as our state charges a student with a crime when they miss a significant amount of school She ended up spending time in juvenile detention and had to do community service. she thought that was fun and never learned any type of lesson at all. She's nearly 30 now and she rarely contacts me. I live over 200 miles from her and I've talked to her maybe three times

2points

Argle Bargle 2 years ago

The school system isn't made to support kids with ADHD and autism and anxiety. There is often a significant amount of time missed from school, and it's not anybody's fault, it's something that should better be accommodated in the system. I'm sorry you both had to go through this, and I'm hoping with the diagnosis, significantly more support was given.

2points

Tara L. 4 months ago

So why didn't you call the cops & teach her a lesson? Makes me wonder how you raised her because the only people I know who would do that were spoiled as kids

1point

Sophia L. 4 months ago

She punched you while you were holding her baby sibling? She should be in jail.

1point

Romana Kipper 2 years ago

Yes, might be a taboo - still think of all the people defending parents beating their kids. That is far worse and the power- (and maturity) hierarchy is even more absurd. doesn‘t make it better but might but it into some perspective - at least if kids are raised in a country/society where those things are accepted. THEY are still immature, helpless and learning …

1point

Becca Hauck 2 years ago

I had a guy who raped me at 19 tell me that it wasn't his fault because he was immature and still learning. Our brains aren't fully mature until around 27 so all the raping he did before that was fine. He wasn't spanked though so I guess it's all good.

2points

Marian Moore 2 years ago

I am so sorry you had to experience that horrible crime. I would feel like sending her to foster care and cut her out of my life. When she is 18 pack her bags and kick her out. Sounds cold but this won't be the last time this will happen. Don't ignore the red flags. Kids today don't give a s**t.

1point

Azure Adams 2 years ago

File charges. She's old enough to have adult consequences for assault. And don't give the whole "I can't do that to my kid" s**t. They will do it again and worse it you do not act

1point

Evelien Stijger Martens 1 month ago

S**t like that happens more often than you think and you can forgive.

0points

Patricia Moore 6 months ago

If your mom chases you around your room hitting you and screaming obscenities at you, is that the same thing?

0points

Strawberrypocky911 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Couch Potato 1 year ago

That's not good at all. My mom hits me sometimes, but I never hit her back.

0points

Patricia Howard 1 year ago

Yes I get the heart break don't want to say much more than that nmbut ya its a hard one to get past for sure it changes things seemingly forever.

0points

Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago

For one thing, you are now aware that your own child will willingly punch you with intent. That violation & emotional scar will never go away. It instills a niggling fear that causes us to be on guard in a way that was never supposed to be. Pain, indeed.

0points

Milagro Garza 2 years ago

Get her out of your house and life. That is not a daughter is a monster. What did ur husband do?

0points

Sally Brown 2 years ago

Yep, a switch flicks, and that’s it. You’re done.

0points

Rachel Hamrick 2 years ago

I punched my mom when I found out she'd been sleeping with my boyfriend while my dad (her husband) was at work. I do not feel bad at all.

0points

Lindy Mac 2 years ago

Your feelings are totally justified. Punching a child or a parent is off the charts... besides counseling my only other thought is reform school where they teach discipline and respect. After 18 you may not have that option.

0points

GPZ 2 years ago

Physical violence is never ok and especially over something as trivial as being asked to clean your room- if you don't pay board/rent & this is my house you live by house rules

0points

B Jean the Jelly Bean 2 years ago

I don't know that I'm a better parent than anyone else. That said, I do know one thing my Dad said is, "Never argue with your child". And never let them think you're afraid of them. My son at 12 was bigger than me and he would get mouthy. He called me a B***ch once. When I asked him what he called me he stood up and clenched his fists. All I said was " You better make it a good punch, because when I get up I'm going to knock you into next week!" He sat down and I took away a few privileges of his. It was a beginning but it was a good beginning.

0points

Petra Biedermann 2 years ago

There are some actions one can't forgive and forget!

0points

GramDB 2 years ago

Your kid needs help!

0points

EJN 2 years ago

I sort of doubt that she even knows why she did what she did. Counselling might help clarify it.

0points

Tammy Leung 2 years ago

I am a doctor. A middle aged man (our patient) came in unconscious with police and his son. He was lying in the middle of the road, likely hit by a car. He was bleeding out and had very low blood pressure. We could not find the bleeder and wanted to know how exactly he was injured. He died before we located his upper thigh stab wound. His son stabbed him and even pretended to help the police by calling his neighbours to see if anyone saw anything.

0points

Aqsa Azam 2 years ago

This! My sister does this to our mom and screams at her if my mom tries to show physical affection towards her. It pisses me off. There are respectful ways to tell someone you don't want to be hugged.

0points

Kitty Cat 2 years ago

I hope you kicked her out and cut off contact. There's no excuse for this. The fact you were holding a toddler at the time makes it so much worse too.

0points

Deb Dedon 2 years ago

Daughter should move out. She's violent and might take it out on anyone who can't fight back.

0points

Missy Winters 2 years ago

She learned the violence somewhere. Some parents spend years upon years beating on kids who "can't fight back", then get surprised when they finally do. I'm not saying that's what happened here, just speculating what could be going on in this situation.

3points

AnxietyRiddenMom 2 years ago

I've been there. I had her arrested. She is angry. Angrier than I've ever seen any one person. She says me spending time with her will help her but I can't stand spending time with her. She is so mean to me. I'm about 90% sure she's a sociopath. I love her but I don't like the way she is and the troubling part is that I feel completely responsible. The guilt is overwhelming. I'm severely depressed. My meds do nothing. Drugs do nothing. It's just a constant weight I will bear forever and I'm powerless against it

0points

Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Here for you 🤗

0points

Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago

WOW. I was really strict with my son when he was little. I'm talking "healthy fear" kind of strict. People would comment on it and my response was always, "This little f*cker's gonna outgrow me one day & I want it established that you NEVER hit the Mommy". Sure enough, when he turned 14 he was about 6 inches taller than me. And stole my debit card, taking the daily limit of $300. I was livid. Actually TRIED to get him to hit me so I could have him arrested. He slunk against the wall and just said "No Ma'am". He stole a car, led cops on a chase, plowed through an 8 x 10 lighted hospital sign, a Seattle City Light utility pole AND totaled the new car (he was avoiding a woman & kids in the crosswalk, so ~) Goodbye 401k I was gonna use to buy a house. He's 42 now and we're all good, but God I hated him for a bit.

-1point

Debbie Diskey 2 years ago

I still don't know where I gained the strength to do it. But when my daughter did the to me, I literally grabbed her by her ponytail and the belt loop on her jeans picked her up and threw her across the room into a wall. No one gets to hit me

-2points

lili 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Angry And Small 2 years ago

It didn't say the mom hit the child, it says the child hit her on the side of the head

20points

Anjali Shekhawat 2 years ago

She hit her because she knew she can hit her without the consequences...Telling to clean her room is no bad..

4points

Best behave.... 2 years ago

Quite an accusation Lili....

2points

throwawaymine75 , Aarón Blanco Tejedor Report

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My son told his friends that I was abusing and molesting him because he wanted the attention. We were very close. Child services were called and then the police. He stuck to his story. I don't hate him. I never could. Sometimes I'm very angry but mostly the betrayal gets me. I would never have believed he would do that. After several awful months I think it's going to be alright legally but the legal fees and stress has been overwhelming. Things will never be the same between us. He is a teenager btw

Final score:

245points

POST

Emma London 2 years ago

What a way to destroy your relationship with your parent forever - For teenager's crave for attention.

215points

Samantha agrees that we tend to become more empathetic towards others as we grow up. "I know I have become much more sensitive to the plight of others. Maybe this is due to having kids myself, and feeling a little bit like everyone's mom. Or just an increased awareness of mortality and people's differing life circumstances. But empathy is a good thing. Most of us could probably use a little more of it," she said.

Very recently, Bored Panda spoke about kids’ capacity for empathy and (the lack of) kindness with psychologist, author, and mom-of-four, Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D.

"Children learn from observation of what others do, but also through explicit teaching and explanations, and through experience and observation of how others respond to certain actions," Dr. Kennedy-Moore explained to us, adding that we tend to develop more empathy for other people as we grow and mature.

"In general, we become more empathic at 19 than we were when we were at age 9, and that continues, so we're more empathic at 29 than 19, at 39 than 29, simply because we've experienced more of life, so it's easier for us to put ourselves in someone else's shoes," the psychologist said.

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I made an account just for this question. I beyond resent my son. He's seven. He lies all the time, never listens, and does harmful things to others. His father took off before he was born. The state say they can't find him without a SSI or address for me to receive support. I've been living off the state for over six years. I work and go to uni full time. Every day is an argument and fight with this child. There are no fun times. There are no happy moments. He makes me miserable. All I want to do is graduate with my bachelors in engineering. Every morning he makes me late for class because he refuses to listen to a single word. I've tried all the ways of disciplining or rewarding to get him on track. He's in special education for speech and math support. The doctor diagnosed him with ADHD last month. We are working through getting the right dose. But, for now- he made me miss my calculus class again because he refused to get out of bed this morning. I don't think I love him anymore. I feel like he's sabotaging my life and chances for getting out of the welfare system. I'm miserable with him in my life.

Shizilly Report

Final score:

234points

POST

Merilyn Horton 2 years ago

Why don’t people consider adoption when they have an unwanted pregnancy?

94points

I recently gave up all parental rights to my only child, a son, after 13 years of dealing with his mother's lies, accusations, criminal and family lawsuits based on lies.

I truly loved my son. I was an excellent father who did everything possible to teach him the value of truth, kindness and honesty in life.

I have been accused of starving him, beating him, doing cocaine, methamphetamine and heroin (none of which i do). I have had to invest thousands of dollars in legal fees to defend against false claims.

My son has picked up her lying manipulative ways, as well as her desperate need for all attention to focus on her. He has become a liar just like his mother, who supports her falsehoods with his own voice. He has threatened to shoot me, and himself with my business protection firearm.

For the safety of myself, and the safety of my wife, i have severed all ties, and allowed him to be adopted by his stepfather... who is an evil and manipulative man just as his mother is... he is on his own, in a world i know little about. I fought hard for him, but he continued to lie, not only supporting her outrageous claims, but also coming up with some of his own, for added flair.

After 12 years of crushing heartbreak, i gave up.

Life has been so much less stressful and crushing since. I do this knowing that I gave 150% of my self to parenting so my burden of guilt is minimal.

**EDIT:** Lots of people pointing out that I am not perfect. Agreed. I definitely have my faults.... Numerous, as humans tend to be. None-the-less... The level of hateful alienation exacted by this woman defies all logic. None of her drug claims were true. believe it or don't... The facts are facts. None of the abuse claimed was true. I never even spanked this child, for fear of the obvious; She would call CPS at the first possible opportunity.

he and I spent each visitation together, hiking, biking, reading, motorcycling, learning, traveling, camping, preforming kitchen science experiments for fun answers to random kid questions.... I don't claim that this makes me a saint. I do, RIGHTFULLY, claim that this makes me a good parent. more so than many modern parents offer to their children in the age of "electronic babysitting". I paid my child support for 13 years, never missing, While she told him I refused to pay or help her.

My mother has showed up to her home to pick him up for visitations, while she and her friends and family would hole up inside her home, and call the police to report that I was "storming down their door". Meanwhile, the police arrive and find that my 67 year old mother was out in the car, alone, not me... Imagine the sheriff's surprise! Why was my mother there instead of me you ask?? Because 2 weeks earlier the police showed up to my home, after i picked my son up, saying that i had pushed her down and slapped her.... again... believe it or not, i just didn't to these things. it's a fact, so i don't need approval on it.

There is, in this world, a growing disregard for what is right and moral. This woman, and those she surrounds herself with are part of that toxic society. It goes far beyond simple family discord. Remember, this child has already made a LETHAL threat of grave bodily injury to himself, and me. This is not to be taken lightly in our current times. I believe that this general loss of respect for others is exemplified in this woman, and the way she has chosen to approach our *former* parent/co-parent/child relationship. This toxic child-rearing has destroyed his chance at a normal perspective on life. he will always view the world through a lens of deceit and anger. I genuinely tried to help, but when he won't help himself, and goes further still, hurting me and my wife... I must draw a line somewhere.

Believe it or don't, I'm a good human being.

my_truth_account Report

Final score:

212points

POST

M Calad 2 years ago

I feel for this man. Hate can turn people into horrible human beings. I hope he finds peace.

184points

[deleted] , 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič Report

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I have a 7 year old daughter. I think she has some kind of personality disorder. Some days she’s her normal loving, goofy self. Then there are other days where she is manipulative, mean, and hysterical. She says things to hurt you on purpose and will freak out if she doesn’t get her way, hurting herself in the process. But if I call her dad and FaceTime with him she stops on a dime and says I was lying and I hit her and don’t love her. I didn’t even know a kid that young could lie like that. She does this to me, my husband, and her stepmom. Her dad honestly believes we are all lying when we say something is wrong. She’s been to 3 therapists and they all act like we’re crazy because she puts on a good act. It makes me sick sometimes that I am happy when she goes to her dads house. I have a 1 year old son with my husband and I don’t want her to do to him what she does to me or her other family members. I don’t know what to do

Final score:

206points

POST

Laura Silverstein 2 years ago

Maybe get a hidden camera (?) might help to expose any false claims

452points

The psychologist explained that kids need 3 ‘ingredients’ in order to respond to others in a caring way. First, they need to be able to imagine how others think and feel. “The ability to imagine accurately someone else's perspective generally begins around age 4 and grows with age and experience.”

Second of all, children need to learn to manage their distress. In short, when they’re feeling overwhelmed, they tend to not have the ability to be overly kind. "Kids don't have the bandwidth to respond kindly to someone else if they are overwhelmed by their own feelings."

Lastly, children need to firmly believe that they are capable of helping others. "If they don't think they can help or don't know how, they're likely to freeze or avoid situations where someone is upset,” Dr. Kennedy-Moore said.

"Parents can help by talking about people's thoughts and feelings as they come up in books, movies, or real life. This gives children a window into people's internal life that helps with perspective-taking. Parents can help children manage their own emotions by naming those feelings as well as teaching specific coping strategies such as distraction, deep breathing, counting to ten, or using words to ask for what they want," she told Bored Panda.

#10

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Because after his mom died , I stopped disciplining him. I thought if I gave him everything I never had ; coolest clothes , shoes, toys , dirt bikes, game consoles etc would make me a good parent. I was wrong. He's about to turn 18 and i can't even stand to be in the same room as him. He's manipulative, mean, arrogant and condescending. And it's all my fault.

dakipsta , James Kovin Report

Final score:

184points

POST

PandaRave 2 years ago

Jesus Christ that last sentence is sad.

196points

#11

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Throwaway because my husband knows my Reddit name and I am not sure how he would take this.

I remarried a wonderful man, my soul mate about 2 years ago. I have two kids of my own. One son and one daughter. One is 14 and the other is 21. He has a daughter. She is almost 8. We met when his daughter was about 3 and a half. It is bad to say, but personality wise she hasn't changed very much the last 4 or so years.

I don't necessarily dislike my stepdaughter all the time....I have just had to distance myself a bit. She has no manners, no respect, she is spoiled and will whine until she gets her way. For example I overheard her tell her great grandmother to shut up. I also heard her tell her mom "You are the most disgusting person I ever met". When they "scold" her she always tries to say she was "just joking" and then she will start crying and saying "nobody wants me around" and stuff like that.

I know this is turning into a long post and I apologize...it has just been building up so long. I try my best with her and I had such high hopes for a close relationship with my step daughter. But I have found that our personalities clash. And I am used to having respectful kids. My husband tries his best to make her act right, but every time she goes back to her mom's or her grandparents it gets worse. They give her everything she wants no matter what and they allow her to talk to them anyway because "she is still little and we may not have anymore kids/grandkids." So I don't blame my husband, I feel bad for him because he is tired of having to be the bad guy all the time.

Oh and she likes to torment my cats. I tell her all the time to be nice to them. Pet them gently or better yet! Leave them alone. But she likes to chase them, pour water on them, throw dirt at them....etc. She has plenty of toys in her room and also electronics and games. But she will cry and whine until my husband lets her use his laptop. She likes to watch toy commercials on Youtube and tell us what she wants for Christmas or her Birthday. She makes these 5 page long lists of what she wants all the time. And then if she doesn't get it, she whines that she never gets anything she wants. Her mother told us she picked out a 50.00 Halloween costume last week. She said she told her that was way too expensive to pay when she is only going to wear it a few hours. Well step daughter proceeded to cry and say she doesn't have anything and never gets anything and she needs new parents.

One more thing that makes me mad....if adults are in the room trying to have a conversation she will interrupt repeatedly until they stop talking and listen to her or watch her do some little something that could have waited. This child gets more attention that any child ever so I know its not lack of attention that causes it.

I could go on and on but no one wants to read a two mile long post of me complaining so I will end it here. Thanks for letting me vent a little.

One more thing I thought of! About a year ago I had my little grand daughter over at our house. She was about 9 months old at the time. Step daughter got caught trying to give the baby rocks. We all get onto her and tell her how dangerous it is to give a baby rocks, babies can choke and get injured or even die...all that. Well, a few minutes later I catch her putting the rocks in my grand baby's pocket and I go mental. After telling her she could choke and die if she gets ahold of a rock she is putting them in the baby's pocket!! Just one more example of there is something not right with this girl.

TL;DR Step daughter has no manners or respect for adults and even tried to harm my grand daughter once. My nerves just cant handle it anymore.

throwthisstepmom , Caleb Woods Report

Final score:

177points

POST

dream of delusion 2 years ago (edited)

okay i was getting a little annoyed at the “i was just jokingg” part but if you’re abusive to animals or babies or parents or anyOne that’s where i draw the line - i know she’s 8 but she should still have common respect by then

249points

Maxwyfe , Greta Schölderle Møller Report

#12

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I am a step parent. I love my son. Love him like crazy.

But.

He's a slob. And he married a slob with two slobby children and they had another child who is our adored grandson and likely also a future slob.

Their house is always filthy and by filthy I mean FILTHY. They have 5 dogs and at least two cats inside the house. The dogs are untrained and so they chew through everything and c**p on the floor. It smells like a cat box, dishes are never washed and sit caked with food just wherever they leave it. Laundry is piled high against the walls in the bedrooms and you have to pick a path across the living room dodging toys, dishes, dog c**p, and the cats who are always trying to stay one step ahead of the dogs.

The smell of cat p**s is so strong my eyes literally watered when I walked in. Beds not made? Yeah, they don't even have proper beds (we've given them three - don't know where they went). They sleep on bare mattresses on the floor - sheets optional. A floor that is covered with dog feces and dirt. I am astonished none of them have developed ringworm or typhoid. The kids smell like a dirty litterbox and go to school in wrinkled dirty clothing. It's humiliating for us and frightening. They've been reported to DFS, but I don't know what DFS did because the house is still a shithole. The whole situation makes me so angry I don't trust myself with either of them. The urge to shake them and scream "You stink! Clean your f*****g house!" is nigh uncontrollable.

It makes me sick that he and she allow this to go on. Neither of them were raised in dirty houses. I don't like either one of them, but I love them all very much.

Final score:

158points

POST

Aidan Pite 2 years ago

That sounds like a psychiatric issue, honestly. I hope they all get the help they need. Even if that involves foster care.

177points

throwawayaloo , Tanaphong Toochinda Report

"Parents can guide children toward seeing themselves as helpers by talking about how children's kind actions impact others. For instance, they might say, 'That was kind of you to help your brother with his block tower. He was sad when it fell down, and he felt happier when you helped him build it up again.' Or, 'Thank you for helping me put away the groceries. I'm happy that we got the job done quickly.'"

According to the psychologist, everyone makes mistakes and ends up doing something that isn’t kind. It’s inevitable that everyone will mess up at some point in their lives. That’s why parents shouldn’t jump to conclusions: they shouldn’t assume that a single mistake is an indication of “terrible things ahead.”

"Instead, acknowledge good intentions, describe the other person's feelings, and focus on moving forward. For instance, you could say, 'I know you're excited about going on the swings, but your sister also wants to swing, and she's sad that she hasn't had a turn yet.' Then, to move forward, you could ask, 'What can you do to help her feel better?' or 'What would be fair to everyone?'"

#13

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I know this comment will probably be buried at the bottom but I'm gonna take this chance to get some stuff of my chest.

First of all - I don't hate my daughter - far from it. I love her with all my heart. Instead I hate the life we have.

My daughter has a rare chromosome disorder and is also on the autism spectrum (not full on autistic though). She'll soon be 5 and still doesn't speak. She has a hearing loss so she has to wear hearing aids. By not being able to speak (except for some words like yes or no) we can't really communicate with her. Everything is done by us asking her questions which she says yes or no to. Sometimes she shows us what she wants by pointing, using sign language (she knows some signs), or she goes and fetches something to show us. This covers her basic needs. But we can never have a discussion with her. Asking how her day was at pre school etc. We can't talk about stuff. She doesn't really have any friends and she just recently started "playing" with other kids at pre school. I could go on and on about this. But I'm terrified for the future. I can't really think about how her and our life will be when she gets older without tearing up. So many things she won't be able to experience - even though I don't even know if she would like to.

To summarise - I don't hate her. Far from it. I hate that she has this disorder. At the same time - her disorder has made she who she is. And I hate myself for looking at other families and being jealous for what they have. Hearing friends talking about how they discuss events with their 3 yo etc. Seeing other kids playing together and making up games and stuff while my kid is so far behind.

The worst part is that I sometimes wish myself or my family to be in an accident so there would be an end to this. I of course don't really wish for this but I sometime long for the life I didn't get. Before getting kids - this was my worst nightmare - having a kid with a disability.

I know I should probably start seeing a psychiatrist.

Final score:

152points

POST

dream of delusion 2 years ago (edited)

i think seeing a psychiatrist will always help (unless it’s a c**p one) but.. it’s okay to hate a disability. i hate mine, all the time, and i know many people who do as well. so long as you don’t hate the person who has it

156points

#14

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Throw away because this may be my deepest darkest secret ever and even now it almost brings me to tears to type this. One of my children with mental illnesses has been disturbed and has survived numerous attempts.

There have been times where I have had to sit in a chair in her room and watch her all night while she sleeps. Everything is locked up in our house. I keep cleaning supplies in my desk at work and bring them home only to clean and then take them back. Everything is a battle with her. It's embarassing all the times we have an ambulance or cops come over. There is so much more that goes on.

Anyway, I can remember one really really awful period in our lives about a year ago where I honestly felt like had she not survived her attempts that life for me and her siblings would be easier.

There are a lot of days where I feel like I resent her inside. I just tell myself and try and remember that she is still the sweet girl I remember from her being a kid. What I resent is the person she is on meds and the depressed disturbed and self harming person she is when not on meds.

:(

SalePending , Eric Ward Report

Final score:

139points

POST

Sofie Carmine 2 years ago

All these stories are horrible

161points

#15

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My dad likes to ask me "I bet you didn't know having kids would be so hard huh?" but no, I never in a million years figured how hard, and I by no means have it as bad as some in this thread.

Basically it started at "terrible 2's" normal, ok. But wait no, 3's were terrible, and 4's, and 5's, all terrible. It's a bit of just a bad memory at this point with a few highlights that stand out.

Kindergarten started, the school called every day saying how his behavior was bad. He wouldn't sit down on the bus, wouldn't sit still in class, wouldn't stop talking. During grade school, getting a simple page of homework done took 2 hours because he would hide it, rip it, throw it away.

I couldn't read books to him at night, he would slap it out of my hands, or bounce around on the bed to the point I couldn't finish.

He would go into terrible rages as he got older but still in grade school, threatening to throw up on me, smash the table, turn chairs over. Had no concept of behavior vs punishment or reward. None. We tried everything we could think of. I could say "don't touch that thing" and turn my back for a second, and he was touching it. Short term goals, long term goals, immediate punishment, or 'atonement' in the form of making up for bad behavior with 'good works', nothing matters. Nothing was being learned.

He would steal food. Plenty of health choices were available, want to eat 5 ham sandwiches? Extra dinner? Sure! No. I'm taking eating an entire carton of ice cream, a brick of cheese, 5 Popsicle's in one sitting etc. We tried teaching portion control, teaching how it was unfair that he got 9 items out of a box of 10 when 4 of us were in the house. We tried telling him we needed for instance, a block of cheddar cheese for dinner the next night, but he could have the sliced cheese. Nope, he ate up the block.

He's not allowed to eat food in his room but we find empty cups, plates, bowls, etc everwhere. Bowl under the couch? Check. Old pizza under the blankets? Check. Empty ice cream carton in the closet? Yep. Half eat frozen dinner in a pile of laundry? You guessed it. This has been going on from around 7 until now, at 12.

He was on meds for a while, Focalin at first. His teachers at school called me in one day under the pretense of seeing him read. Instead I got ambushed about how unhappy he was, and how he really needed more reading help. The next day they said he was done with the special reading program. What?

He lies about homework. "I don't have any". Great well the school website says you do, where is it, show it to me? "Oh I forgot it in the my locker/I did it already/I turned it in already". Lies. When hiding it around the house didn't work out, he turned to saying it was at school, knowing I couldn't verify until it turned up as late on the online grade sheet.

He steals, just around the house so far. Can't have soda? That's ok I'll take it anyway. I want to impress a girl? I'll take my moms necklace. My chain broke, I'll take my brothers, even minutes after being told "don't even think about it". I want a game mom said I could have next week? No prob I'll steal her credit card and order it now, or steal my brothers money.

He's currently in detention after school on Weds and Fridays to help him get his work done. He is also grounded. He lied about not needing to go last Wed and didn't show up. He tried to do it this past Friday but I called his teacher and marched his butt back to school. He cried and screamed about that.

I nearly had more than a few nervous breakdown when the school has called me and let me know about terrible things he's told other kids at school. We got into therapy. I took hidden videos when he would flip out, because it was so nightmarish I sometimes couldn't even believe it even the next day.

He's threatened to take his own life because some girl didn't want to date him. We thought we had that talked out with the therapist. Another night when he ran home early which was unusual, and I got a bad feeling. Shortly after the police and paramedics showed up because he threatened to take his own life, and smeared my red lip gloss across his chest and took pictures, and said he had stabbed himself. That was a very expensive bill. The therapist thought we had it sorted out. Nope, soon as he got his cell phone back he messaged the girl saying he was extinct from infection.

He asked repeatedly why the rules are what they are, and even if we lay down the law he'll pester and pester and pester. He'll tell me entirely unnecessary things while I'm working even after being told I need to not be distracted.

We keep tabs on his web activity, xbox, tv viewing, and cell phone usage. We try to provide knowledge of the bad things, but not allow him to bask in it like many on the internet do. I'm not religious but I roll with "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" It's hard. Evil is pretty cool, in many young peoples minds. Trolling is funny to them. Being mean is funny.

We try to keep him occupied with sports and activities, but he needs action and monitoring what feels 24/7 and I can't DO IT.

We have 2 kids and the youngest, who is 8 now, is so much EASIER I want to cry. I would have NEVER had kids if I knew how much work the first one was going to be. NEVER.

Throwitawayok22 , Tim Mossholder Report

Final score:

132points

POST

Riley Warrick 2 years ago

This kid needs to go to a treatment center. Unfortunately, OP might not be able to get him in because it's so hard to do if you're not a foster parent, even then it's so hard it's ridiculous. My sister has a kid who has similar behavior (not quite as bad though) and she tried to get him in a treatment center, sent letters, logged every behavior at home and school, even my mom wrote a letter asking them to put him in a center, but because he hasn't hurt anyone or himself, and is under the age of twelve, the judge wouldn't give the order. He would run away in the middle of winter without shoes, pee on his bedroom floor, throw fits that were so bad that they had to put L over and get the other four kids out of the van, and has threatened to kill his whole class (grade 3) and they still wouldn't give the order.

141points

#16

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I lost all respect when the kid began pushing homeopathic products and therapies. When did this kid become convinced that this literal snake oil is good for people? When did science and logic lose out? What's even worse is that the kid still thinks their views are completely normal and mainstream. Meanwhile, I can't get over the numerous people being hurt by this completely useless hokum every day which my progeny is advocating. All of those 'clients' should be going to a real doctor. My own kid is actually a force for bad outcomes. It makes me ill.

thatcantb , Kelly Sikkema Report

Final score:

123points

POST

Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

I worked in the vitamins/supplements department of a retail store for 2 1/2 years. We had a homeopathic section. I could not bring myself to lie to customers about them. If they asked where the homeopathic section was, I’d point the way. If they actually asked about efficacy, I would tell them that the principle of homeopathics is that you put in a few molecules of an ingredient, then you “purify” it out up to 200 times, but the remaining pill/oil somehow “remembers” the ingredient that literally isn’t even molecularly present in the mixture any more… and somehow THAT cures you. Yeah, sorry, I trust science, not homeopathy.

129points

#17

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I dated a guy for five years, and he was the sole parent of a kid. He basically raised her barely above neglect levels. She had food, clothes, a room. But he would basically not do anything to care for her and wouldn't even see her for days on end. She was 6 when we met.

I felt I had to step in and help out, and he basically dumped raising her on me. I was overwhelmed, resented the fact that I had to change my life and lifestyle for her. But when I would withdraw, she basically was left in her room (frequently "grounded" for minor infractions because it meant he had an excuse not to interact).

I tried to make things special for her, planned outings and whatnot. She never expressed gratitude, and would blow temper tantrums that things weren't enough, I wasn't spending enough money, or we went to the local amusement park when she wanted to go to Disney.

her father was manipulative. If I took time for myself, he would tell her it was because I was being "selfish". She picked up on this, and would threaten to tattle on me if I didn't do something or told her to take time. She told her grandparents her grades were bad because I didn't do it for her.

When her father and I split up, it was hard because I knew her dad wasn't willing to parent at all, and I knew she would be neglected. No one deserves that. But I had to get out of the bad, abusive relationship. We kept in touch for a while, but her dad started using her as a weapon. I broke contact.

Now she posts angry messages on Facebook directed at me. She is entering her teen years and blames her problems on me.

Mouse98Hut , Janko Ferlič Report

Final score:

116points

POST

urszulat 2 years ago

This woman did what she could. Really went the extra mile. That is all that can be asked of anyone. I am glad she left the abusive relationship.

168points

Powerful-Slice-9 , Arteida MjESHTRI Report

#18

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My mother wanted a boy, had one before me but it was a miscarriage, I was conceived a year after, I was an early delivery, she was in coma for 2 weeks and after that she did not take me or touch me or look at me or even fed me for days. my dad took care of me and looked after me. she still curses me and wishes it was a boy

Final score:

112points

POST

Suzy the observer 2 years ago

Please get therapy luv.

122points

#19

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I don't dislike or hate my son but I damn sure have some resentments every now and then. I have a 5 year old with extreme behavioral/rage issues. They stem from a large dose of steroids required for a long period of time for a previous medical issue. I am not in the dark about these issues, I have a psychiatrist and counselor that we pay for for him. However, no one is willing to do anything because he is 5. No diagnosis. Barely medication (the wrong ones). I have had to inpatient hospitalize my 5 year old son twice. I have another child younger than him that was born around the time that all of this started happening and I just watch the difference between the two. I sometimes wish I could have switched and had her first because the only reason for trying again was so I could have a girl. I watch happy, functional families and it makes me angry because we have been burdened by this. We can't travel, we can't go to parks or things of that nature because he targets other children and I don't want to be that a*****e mom on the playground that just lets my son beat the s**t out of other kids. CPS is now involved for the 4th time in 2 years because at school he cracked a kid across the head with a rock because the school refuses to give him an IEP because he is so young. My husband and I have tried every parenting book, behavioral therapy method, strategy, etc. Nothing seems to work. Some days I just turn my phone on silent because I know its going to be the school calling me saying he wont sit still in class and keeps running out of the classroom acting like an a*s. But I have asked them repeatedly for an IEP and they refuse.

Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than life itself, but it f*****g kills me to watch him have to live like this. He is so angry all of the time and sometimes I have to hold him in a full nelson on the floor crying so that he wont hurt himself or anyone else. I wish other parents knew what this torture was like. The constant self-doubt, and wondering where we went wrong. It is slowly killing my marriage and I honestly wouldn't blame my husband if he did leave, in fact I'd probably send our daughter with him just to make sure she was safe.

So yes, I completely understand where some of these other parents in this thread are and I don't judge anyone anymore when they say their kids have pushed them to the edge. I've been there and back so many times, I have the route memorized.

SilentEnigma1210 , Annie Spratt Report

Final score:

105points

POST

Jiminy 2 years ago (edited)

"because the only reason for trying again was so I could have a girl." This is a REALLY bad sole reason for making another child...

68points

#20

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why God help me, but I really do not like my son. He's boorish, self-aggrandizing, and prone to pulling together two or three disparate things that have most recently come up in conversation and then crafting them into an absurd anecdote or lie. He has, since even the time when he was a tiny child, routinely let things tumble out of his mouth that mortify me. He's nearly 25 now, thank fuck, but for the entirety of his school years I would go to parent/teacher conferences and watch the same sequence play out, again-and-again... I would meet the teacher, we would shake hands and I would already be able to make out the look of disgust on their face. Their expression would so obviously be "Oh, so this is the prick who formed this little asshole's personality, huh?" Then, as they would spend time with me and realize that I appeared to be an ok human being, they would begin unspooling to me every shitty/awful thing he had said to them and the other kids in his class. One time, my lily-white son was trying to get the attention of a little girl who sat beside him and, when she didn't jump to quick enough for him, he said "Excuse me, BLACK GIRL, may I have your attention?" We tried immersing him with loving, inclusive groups at school, at our church, and any hobby/sport/interest that came along that he showed enthusiasm for... He was never invited to a classmate's birthday party more than once... Worst of all? He continually sees himself as a victim. It's not that the shitty things he says to people are the problem... It's that they are too simple to understand how he really means them. They are simply too stupid to realize how awesome/brilliant/cool he is... Oh, it makes me sad. It truly does. I hate him and he won't go away.

[deleted] , Claudia Wolff Report

Final score:

100points

POST

Tara Raay 2 years ago (edited)

Narcissistic people aren’t any parents fault. He’s 25, cut him off.

112points

#21

Ok. I read through the other answers and am going to give this my two cents, even tough I am the child and not the parent.

This has come up after many years in therapy, mostly classical psychoanalysis.

My mother does not like me because she never got attached to me at birth. A year before my twin sister and I were born, our parents had triplets who all died after a few days. Untreated trauma followed. I was born nearly suffocated and poorly, so my mother, wanting to protect herself from more trauma, never attached to me. She did however to my twin sister who was born healthy and thrived.

Years went by and this initial lack of attached turned into resentment or dislike during my childhood because by the time we were eight years old, our parents were divorced, and I physically resembled my dead-beat father. This only worsened during my teenage years as I was beginning to act up years of neglect and became depressed. She disliked the signs of her own doing neglectful parenting and lack of love in me. I remind her of that.

Ever since we have pretended to get along, but the relationship is never really there. I am a mother of two myself now and have taken all of this on board trying to do better. I am also trying to understand her. That ultimately this was not her fault.

TiinaWithTwoEyes Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Amy Taylor 2 years ago

Wow.. this sounds like my mother in law. My husband was born with a major staph infection and he nearly died in the hospital. She told me that she wouldn't go visit him in the hospital because she didn't want to get attached in case she lost him. That really explained so much to me about their dynamic. My mom lost her first child at 2 days old and the hospital never let her see him or hold him and that tormented her until the day she died.

51points

#22

Dear God, where do I start?

Mine is a lying, manipulative user who sucks up every amount of goodwill and charity from people before she turns on them. She is either unwilling or incapable of doing ANYTHING for herself, yet she treats every functioning adult as if they're stupid and have no idea what they're talking about. She lives for instant gratification and is unable to see more than about ten seconds in the future. When that complete lack of motivation and foresight ends up with entirely predictable consequences, she blames everyone around her for conspiring against her.

She got pregnant right after graduating high school and moving out. Upon delivery, she wanted nothing to do with the baby. My wife and I were the ones who took it home from the hospital and have been raising it. Our daughter treats her own child like a plaything and only sees it rarely to show off for people. Otherwise, she's not around.

She recently started a fairly long stint in jail. My wife has been sending her about $50 a week for phone calls and commissary. We found out she's been collecting similar amounts from lots of other people, claiming nobody has been helping her.

Tim_Out_Of_Mind Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Megan Curl 2 years ago

Cut. Her. Out.

170points

#23

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I dont dislike my kids, but I really do hate the life i have. People say the kids don’t need to change your way of living. But they do. They really do. Everything gets more expensive, you can’t be spontaneous in the same way as before kids etc. There are so much things that are so much harder to do now and I feel so trapped and lonely.

sweet-royal-blue , Anthony Tran Report

Final score:

79points

POST

David Henry 2 years ago

All prospective parents should read things like this and all the other examples first. No more of these bright bubbly cheerfully worded parenting books. Show them the other side, how dark and bad it can get, and how sometimes the lifestyle itself ends up not being for you but unlike a bad career move, that move can't be undone. Even if you put it towards adoption you've given them a memory of the family who didn't want them. Sometimes it isn't the kids or parents fault. Sometimes it's the fact we f*****g gaslight parents into thinking it'll def even out and be wonderful.

116points

throwthisoneaway6789 , LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR Report

#24

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why While my problems aren't as serious as some of yours, I do resent my son. I fell pregnant when I while taking birth control. My husband and I had sworn that we wouldn't have kids, but kept this baby. He fell ill when he was a baby, and it ended costing thousands in bills and caused a lifetime of developmental problems. We treat him as if he is normal, don't tell him why he goes to his therapies, and to anyone who meets him they have no idea that there is anything wrong.

He has put a great strain on what was once a very good relationship. My husband and I were together for 4 years before having him. We rarely fought. After having him, we fight all the time. My husband works long hours to try and pay off all of the medical bills, which leaves me to basically be a single parent. We don't speak to my in laws because they tried to use my son as a pawn to make my husband hate me.

I love my son. I bust my a*s trying to give him a normal life. But I hate what he has done to the relationship I had with my husband. I hate the stress that his illnesses have put on my life.

Final score:

76points

POST

Kathi Schäffer 2 years ago

I get that you're feeling this way. Also, we can't just turn off our feelings. And anger/hate is a feeling. I hope things get better for your family! ♥️

42points

#25

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My ex had a severely autistic brother. Non verbal except for humming which he would do 24/7. My ex liked to pretend her parents loved her brother but it was super obvious they divorced because of him. They fought tooth and nail on who would keep their normal daughter and who would keep their autistic son. They both wanted her.

CattBooty , Jakob Owens Report

Final score:

75points

POST

Agent 8433599 2 years ago

That's so sad, for all involved

59points

#26

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I realized it recently, in therapy.

It's not really them, per se. I realized about myself that I dislike children, period. That said, the presence of my kids in my life 24/7 has led to a great deal of resentment under the surface that I am now finally in touch with, which means now I'm also trying to deal with the guilt of feeling this way about the people I brought into this world.

I want - desperately - to be able to get in my car and drive to Alaska back just because I can. But I can't. I want to be able to have something called a "quiet weekend", assuming there is such a thing. I want to have money in the bank, better prospects for career advancement, the ability to take a risk like starting my own business. But I can't. I need the stable paycheck so that I can keep food on the table for the people in my house who took my wife away from me.

Meanwhile, my oldest is consistently lying to my face, my oldest two are constantly at war with each other over stupid shit, my third is special needs, I've got two in diapers, and this was all stuff that my wife and I walked into thinking it would be wonderful.

Worst of all: for her, it is wonderful, and that makes me the bad guy for having these feelings, since I'm obviously just being incredibly selfish.

You know what? She's right. I do feel like the bad guy for having these feelings, and I do feel like I'm being selfish, but I can't just snap my fingers and make these feelings go away.

I'm just hoping that one day, these children will grow up and get out of my house so I can have my wife back, assuming they don't take her out first.

themage1028 , Ethan Sykes Report

Final score:

74points

POST

Emma London 2 years ago (edited)

It's fairly common to people to expect a joyous family life and then it's a huge disappointment when the parental joy of spending time with our kids doesn't come. It doesn't help that the perfect parenthood myth has grown to a such a huge proportion that any resentment towards your kids or even wanting to be sometimes away from them is a huge tabu. So most parents just bite their tongue and bear it, thinking that it's normal thing to do. (It's not. Nuclear family is a recent concept, family units tended to larger and it was common to share parental duties and even give kids to relatives and childless couples to raise if things got too complicated.)

59points

#27

I love my oldest son, but I don't like him. He's a compulsive liar and a self centered narcissist.

BiteasuarusRex Report

Final score:

69points

POST

Anna Tribe 2 years ago

I went no contact for a couple of years then she came and said she needed her mum as her relationship was over. So I invited her in and we drank tea then I started putting my clean clothes away. She got furious, said very little of my clothes suited me and proceeded to throw out 95% of my clothes. She even took them to the junkyard. Then she started complaining about every little thing and nothing I ever did was good enough and she made me feel like I would rather kill myself than her torturing me all the time. So no contact again for a year. Then she told me she was pregnant and needed me. Under the 2 years we didn't speak I'd been shaving my hair totally bald because I was sick of my hair falling out. She was mad at me. I was ugly. I decided to let it grow out and about 2 months later she came to visit and she had bought an electric razor to shave my head. Told her no because I wanted to grow it. Again she got really angry with me. No contact again.

43points

#28

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I have two children, my eldest son was diagnosed with autism on the day my second son was born. My second son was then diagnosed with CP at nine months so it was overall a pretty sh**ty time for us. We resented our youngest for a while because we felt that if he wasn't born, then we would have been able to focus more on the eldest and his autism would have probably not as severe as it is now. But we let those feelings go some time ago. He is a wonderful younger brother and is doing very well. Our eldest son is also doing well and we can see that he has potential and it is up to us to unlock it. For us the mistake was never that we had children but rather that we were not educated/informed enough to make the right choices which could have prevented a lot of the issues we had during after pregnancy.

jeanpope , Andrew Seaman Report

Final score:

58points

POST

Tilly 2 years ago

Autism can't be fixed or lessened! I think (hope) they probably meant their eldest son would be able to deal better with the effects of his autism, but their lack of focus on it wouldn't have made it more "severe".

50points

#29

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I love my kids dearly, but there are definitely times I don't like them in the moment. My son has ADHD and maybe a bit on the aspie spectrum (never been evaluated for it but there's things that make me suspicious) and there are some times when he is ridiculously loud, invasive, obnoxious, disrespectful, etc. and seems literally incapable of stopping himself from doing it, or noticing that he's been asked to knock it off, or applying anything he's been told to the next time a similar situation comes up to not get in trouble again for the exact same thing. Then he acts like we're being unreasonable if we get upset or impose consequences for things like continuing to repeat the same loud, inappropriate statement after being clearly told to stop multiple times.

I know he wants to be a good person and cares about others for the most part, but when it comes to actually implementing these things, sometimes he just can't, and between just being annoyed and frustrated with him and feeling at fault for whatever imaginary failing must have existed in my parenting (or more likely his bio dad's genetics) to make him like this, there are times I can hardly stand him.

Still, I'm his mom and I love him and I'm never going to give up on him unless absolutely necessary to prevent harm to myself or my other kids, if he ever gets as bad as his father was about certain things. As more people get vaccinated and we are closer to the "end" of the pandemic, I'm going to start looking for a therapist with some experience with these things.

Dragoness42 , Christopher Ott Report

Final score:

44points

POST

Gracie Mae 2 years ago

I think one of the most potent things I've ever said to any of my children (aside from "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed") was once while during a rough time with one, I said, "I love you, but I don't like you right now" & I walked away. I think that hit almost as hard as a slap to the face.

10points

#30

Not a parent, not my kid, but I've been forced into the role of parent and I can't help but hate him.

I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years, I love him dearly and our relationship has always been great. We're young, 23 and 22. Last year his mother passed away unexpectedly due to complications with surgery.

He has a younger half brother who is 17 so he needs a guardian for one more year, can't be too bad right? Wrong.

He is a slob. 17 years old and almost 400 pounds. He eats everything. Literally everything. We decide to have tacos, so we cook up enough meat to have plenty of left overs for the next day, we tell him not to eat it all. Wake up the next morning, it's all gone. A normal person shouldn't eat this much! We still have taco fixings left so we'll have tacos again later on right? Nope, he decides to eat all the queso, just plain from the jar with a spoon and lies about it when confronted.

We have to physically go into his room and make him bring out all the dirty dishes to wash or we won't have enough clean dishes.

I know he's going through a rough time (he's eating habits have been like this forever though) so I try to do nice things, once a grocery store visit I pick up a nice little snack to have in the house. Popcorn seems safe right? Nope, all 8 bags gone in two days. I bought a two litter once trying to be nice, he drunk it all in an hour.

He goes to school, he has decent grades, he's turned down therapy multiple times. He comes home from school and plays LoL all day, I have to threaten to take away his computer to get him to do anything around the house to help out. He eats, sleeps, and plays video games.

We have to threaten to take away the computer to get him to shower. He's not interested in picking up any hobbies. We've tried to include him in so much, I've given up taking him places. I can't stand one more time of finally getting a chance to go somewhere I've been wanting to go, like the zoo for example. We take him a long and he seems happy to go. But once we get there it's just whining about how hot it is, how far he has to walk, how animals are dumb, how he's hungry, how he'd rather be at home. And then the drive home is just him trying to convince us to go to every fast-food restaurant we pass.

I feel like a bad person for resenting the guy, I know he's going through a lot with his mom's passing and maybe I'm selfish, but I hate the strain he's put on me and my boyfriend both mentally and financially. We're young, were trying to pay for college and a house and take care of our selves. We can't keep affording to feed him on these habits.

I've started taking to setting his portion of food aside from the rest of the meal but it doesn't matter, after we go to bed he'll devour the left overs. I can't begin to tell you how nice it would be to have an actual left over night, but we can't, we have to cook every night.

I can't deal with his shinning and crying if he's computer is taken away or how we've "ruined his day/life" He's just so ungrateful it drives me crazy. We've basically put our lives on hold for the next year to make sure he has a normal last year of high school and he's such an ungrateful brat.

He's always been spoiled and given his way while growing up. "He's a growing boy" "he's just a kid" No, he's 17 years old and acts like a 12 year old because all you people have babied him his whole life. You've set him up for failure.

I don't have it bad, I know. I'm only in this for one year and it could be so much worse, I just really needed to get that off my chest. So many other people in here have it so much worse, I can't imagine what it's like for most of the posters here.

Avasyn Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

I would, at the least, put a lock on the fridge and the cabinets that contain food. Provide the half-brother with healthier options that are always available, like fruit. Obviously meals should still be provided… but he needs to be restricted from the ability to eat everything else, as he cannot restrain himself.

10points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium

Unlimited content

Ad-free browsing

Dark mode

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#31

I can say there was a brief period in time where I disliked my youngest. I need to say I loved him and would have given up my life life for him but I did not like him. He was preteen and was trying to test the limits of our parenting and would question and/or resist EVERYTHING! It was a trying time but now (17) he is probably my best friend and we enjoy being together and working on project around the house.

Jimmy_Graphite Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Sofie Carmine 2 years ago

Good ending 😃

9points

#32

I love my daughter. I really, really love her. It's not her I resent - it's the situation I am in.

I am 23 years old. My daughter's violent father is in prison for crimes against me, and her (I live in the UK, so he only got seven years - one count of rape, one count of sexual assault of a child under 13, he'll be out when he's served HALF of that). She's 22 months old, was 3 months old when he was arrested. She's a blissfully happy child - but she's been living with my sister and her husband for 9 months as I've been struggling to cope with the situation. I've tried to kill myself, I self-harm, I'm on a lot of medication. My beautiful little girl is coming back to live with me at the end of the year - and I am terrified. I have her on my own every weekend and some weeknights, and stay at my mother's every week with her so I have some support. But I don't know what to do. I feel trapped when she's around. She looks so much like her father and having her with me is a constant, painful reminder of it all. She adores me and is very clingy when we're together (totally natural, but I find it suffocating). The guilt and shame is crushing and I struggle with the most basic of things. I have no money (I had to leave my job and am on disability benefits, what Americans call welfare... my current income is less than just my rent and my savings are almost gone).

What do I do? I just want the ground to open up and swallow me so I don't have to face this. I can't be honest about my feelings to family, or friends. They just want me to 'get better' so I can take my daughter home and everything can be all sunshine and roses. It won't be. I wish I was dead.

kitsandkats Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Rosesinmyhair 2 years ago

Please utilise the free NHS and get some help. Xxx

18points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#33

Sibling here. My mom has told me she flat-out hates my sister — she just has zero patience for her c**p. I honestly don't blame her because my sister is 21 but behaves like she's still 16. She's very dramatic, self-centered, fake, rude, and especially abusive toward family members.

Quirkybumblebee Report

Final score:

15points

POST

#34

I can answer on behalf of my parents as I have been first handed informed by them why.

Mom was certified barren. She did not have her period until after she had me.

My dad asked her to abort me as I was unplanned.

She refused as her religion forbade abortions.

My dad refuse to have anything to do with me or be there for her for my birth.

So she blames my dad bad treatment of her on my existence. Many times when she fights with my dad, she will blame me for it and say I was the cause of her husband treating her badly.

Both my parents have always told me I was a weirdo too. My mom always express her disappointment to me that I wasn't her ideal child physical appearance wise.

But yea, basically because she was told she was barren by gynecologists. So in a way, she didn't use protection due to wrong information given by the experts.

It wasn't that she was being irresponsible.

But she couldn't abort because of her deep belief she would be punished for it in after life, forever in hell or something for committing the sin of abortion.

So she resents having to birth me and also suffer her husband's wrath as a result. She said it was my fault my dad stop being loving towards her.

condemned02 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Kathi Schäffer 2 years ago

I'm so sorry. No child should have to hear words like these 🥺 It is most decidedly not your fault!

12points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#35

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Throwaway for obvious reasons. I've struggled with deciding whether to post this, but I'm doing it because I'm hoping someone can offer a word of advice.

I'm a stepparent. My wife has a son from her previous marriage. I'd like to add a little disclaimer before I list the reasons why I dislike/resent him: I'm not a shitty stepparent and actually try hard to be a good one. I "take the hit" in a sense because I'm really not fit for parenting, but I won't allow myself to turn out into a person he will hate later in life.

Like I said, I don't feel like I'm fit for parenting. I don't feel comfortable around children and that includes my stepson. I have a strong feeling that this is because I'm still young and it might change when I grow a bit older... But that's the main reason for my resentment - being responsible for a child makes me feel **old**. While my friends are getting together for parties, trips and whatnot, I'm stuck at home living a life around a school schedule.

It also doesn't help that his personality isn't exactly compatible with mine. I've tried to connect with the kid several times but we're just too different people. I'm introverted and enjoy conversation. My only successful approach with children is trying to teach them stuff or have them talk about stuff they like. My stepson though is more into making messes and speaking nonsense 99% of the time. I just can't connect with that. I don't know how to be one of those fun adults that turns into a child and plays with them.

Another thing that pisses me off is that the kid turns into a total brat on family trips. He complains and whines about everything almost all the time. I don't really feel like traveling with them anymore.

The short periods when he's away with his biological father are so cherished that I wish they'd never end. They allow me to get this glimpse of what life would be like if it were just the Mrs and me.

Someone might ask why I married someone that had a kid, and that's a really good question. As cheesy as this might sound, she is "the one" for me. There's no person I've ever felt so comfortable around and with whom I've connected so well. On top of that, she is very understanding of how I feel about her son... So no, I'm not getting out of that relationship.

Like I said, despite all of that I still make an effort to be a good parent. While I have issues connecting with him, I try to be as supportive as I can, be it helping with homework or encouraging them to partake in activities he enjoys. I also try to teach him good values and that seems to be well received.

throwaway5289539 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

lenka 2 years ago

I’m not trying to blame this guy for how he feels. his feelings are valid but I dont understand why you would marry someone with children if you felt this way even if they are ‘the one’. Its selfish and unfair. And that poor kid who probably knows how he feels is stuck knowing his mum chose a man over him.

15points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#36

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Not my child, but my husband's youngest son from his first marriage. I don't hate him, I care very much for him, but he is impossible to like. He's 12, and completely incapable of entertaining himself in any way. If he isn't pacified with television or some other electronic device, he's wandering the house being as loud and obnoxious as possible because bad attention is still attention. If you give him attention or try to find an activity to do together, he'll simply try to use that as a bargaining chip to get something else he wants later.
He will do anything to play video games, and if you allow it, he will play all day without getting dressed or eating. He will also pretend to be sick to stay home from school to play video games. He has a time limit, but will lie and sneak to try to play longer. Taking away these things does no good. He'll continue to be an obnoxious, annoying s**t until he can play again. Sometimes I let him play so he will stop bothering everyone in the house.
He's a chronic bed wetter, so he frequently smells like urine, he's got issues with s******g his pants sometimes too and swears that he has no idea when or how it happens. He's been to numerous doctors and counsellors who tell us to give him fiber. He's been instructed to change out of dirty clothes and put them in the wash, but he won't admit to it. Instead, when he soils his pants, he'll often hide them somewhere until his disgusting cache is discovered and he gets in trouble. His punishment is usually a video game ban, but his behavior never changes. I love my husband more than anything, and his other kids and my kid are no issue at all, just the ok youngest. I feel like a monster.

Guiltystepmother , Kelly Sikkema Report

Final score:

12points

POST

iseefractals 2 years ago

Buy some earplugs, lock him in his room without any means of entertainment and stop giving into the manipulation. It's reenforcing this bad behavior, so you're causing your own problems here.

3points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#37

I was with my dad quite a few years back on a mini road trip when he straight up told me that he didn't love my brother anymore. Yeah, flew right past "dislike" and said he just didn't even have any love for him. My brother has put my parents through hell for years, and continues to do so to this day through means of manipulation and selfishness. I haven't spoken to him in nearly 3 years. I know my mom still holds onto the hope that maybe, just maybe he'll turn a corner but it'll never happen. Not now.

Still, even though I have no real feelings for him, it was weird to hear my dad drop that bomb on me about my brother. No parent, no matter what, ever wants to lose the love of their child.

TheHeyHeyMan Report

Final score:

12points

POST

#38

I love my child deeply, and generally I like her very much, but right now she's living with me as a young adult in a tiny space. No doubt we don't like each other much lately. She rightly resents the limits in what I was able to provide for her now and as a child, and I wish she could go make young person mistakes somewhere else, and leave me in peace. But we will be ok.

BlueTuxedoCat Report

Final score:

11points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#39

My son is 13, and he is just angry. He mopes around and is only content when he is playing those damned video games. But when we let him play too much he is just horrible afterwards.

When I was his age, I was angry too. So, I understand him better than he realizes.

He has always been a sweet kid, and I know that he will be again when we get through this. but right now, we just don't have much in common. So, it isn't that I don't like him. He just isn't very pleasant to be around these days.

mustang-and-a-truck Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Broad Panda 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#40

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Well, I have to differentiate "liking" your kid vs loving your kid. I definitely love my teenage daughter, but I also definitely don't "like" her (right now).

My daughter is an only child and has ADHD (diagnosed, meds, etc). She's also extremely smart. And like many (most?) teenagers, she's quite narcissistic. So it's a tough combo - She doesn't want to be around us, mistrusts us, has all of these fantasies about what terrible things we would do in various situations (that never transpire), absolutely refuses to learn anything from us (such as how to drive), or share in her life in any way (such as pleading with us not to attend her softball games). Other stuff as well. She says she doesn't hate us, but in practice she effectively does.

Of course, I don't blame her - We didn't get the ADHD diagnosed until last year so it's been messing things up for a while. Looking back, had we understood her ADHD we definitely would have parented her differently, which I feel terrible about now.

I also know that because her brain/maturity is underdeveloped, that eventually she'll come around and treat us better when she's old. So our current suffering is just "temporary" (as in a few more years).

But do I like the situation, or do I like her? No I can't say that I do, not right now. Mostly I want to get this phase over with, have her move on to college (presumably) such that I don't have to deal directly with her every day.

DR_COOL , Paolo Celentano Report

Final score:

10points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#41

I knew someone who obviously disliked her daughter because the child didn’t meet unrealistic expectations: Fix the parent’s life, be convenient, share the same interests, be entertaining, etc. The more disappointed and regretful the mom got, the more she needed to justify her disdain for her daughter, so the regret became replaced with overt dislike based on made-up reasons.

Upvotespoodles Report

Final score:

10points

POST

#42

I love my children dearly, but I don't like them a lot of the time. I don't feel as connected to them as I think I should anymore. For the first few years of their life, I was almost the sole care provider, but once they gained some coordination, became 'interesting,' and arguably more durable, their father started taking a more active role. And both times, my relatively well-behaved, moderately quiet children changed. I accept that wrestling, play fighting, and pranks are a thing — but now there's so much attitude, and screaming, and entitlement.
When I stopped being able to be the fun parent, my sway over them ended, and I feel guilty as all hell that I can only stand being with them together for limited periods of time — I low-key dread family activities. I don't want to roughhouse like their father; I can't handle the yelling, screaming, and the damn high-pitched squealing. They are completely different when they're away from their father and sibling. It took a long time to accept the people they are becoming. I'm waiting until being the more conventionally useful parent is a good thing to them again.

Sanairst17 Report

Final score:

10points

POST

#43

I feel like an a*s because there parents in this thread with horrible problems and here I am disliking my son because he's a rude, inconsiderate little s**t half the time. I don't know what happened to my sweet little boy, only that he disappeared into a fog of whining selfishness.

anon Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Nicky 2 years ago

So many parents feel the way you do. Be gentle with yourself and trust that he'll outgrow it in a few years. Your feelings are shared by many parents of pre-teens and teens.

5points

#44

I love my children to death, and I would never go back if I could. But I absolutely feel it is normal to have a moment here or there where you're not too thrilled to be a parent. It completely changes everything about your life- even when your children are average, let alone have disabilities that make things more difficult. My children have no behavior problems, no problems at school, no health problems, nothing like that. But its still difficult. I still have moments where I am resentful, not necessarily of them, but of the loss of what my life used to be. It would be nice to NOT be a parent every once in a while. And I don't mean send them to grandmas for the day- because even when they are gone, you still have that responsibility.

anon Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Elvira Dirge 2 years ago

There is no class, no one book that can prepare a person for all the possibilities and eventualities that parenting holds. It's so romanticized as to make people think it's actually going to fix anything or to be a perfect experience. Parenting is something I've always wanted to do, and it's the number one pride and accomplishment in my life, but it isn't for everybody. Often the only way to figure that out is to have a child and then it's too late, and that child never asked to be brought into the world. As a mom, a teacher, a wife - I totally get it. If I can offer any advice, it would to communicate. Ask for help, talk to people, seek others that understand and may be going through similar situations. Parenting is never easy, but neither is being a kid. I've had to do a lot of work to get through how my childhood screwed me up, and I had four loving parents who tried their hardest but, like any of us, weren't perfect. It takes work. Period. There is no way to do this the lazy way.

4points

#45

I'm not a parent but my uncle and aunt really hate their son because he's accomplished nothing in life and is a complete failure but still has an ego higher than the Mount Everest. He's always mean to everyone.

6Butcher6 Report

Final score:

9points

POST

#46

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I hate my daughter because she has all the bad characteristics of her mother — and none of the good ones. She's mean, aggressive, demanding, hits her classmates, gets violent when she doesn't get what she wants, breaks things that aren't hers, and yells loudly to overpower anyone around her when she can't use physical violence. She actually looks down on everyone around her; it's wild you can actually see it. She's 6.
Obviously, I am not the one who raises her. She's got a hard life ahead of her. Poor girl.

FBreath , Kiana Bosman Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Merilyn Horton 2 years ago

People should really take a good look at who they’re breeding with.

9points

#47

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Probably because they're too much like me. I like to think that as a parent part of my job is to eliminate my foibles by helping my children be better than me. My failure as a parent instead has been to create copies; what I dislike about them is also what I hate about myself.

Sometimes the harder you try the bigger you fail.

Canadabigjack , Anton Malanin Report

Final score:

8points

POST

K O 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#48

He invested my retirement in gamestop...

Rribb Report

Final score:

8points

POST

George washingmashine 2 years ago

How…. Did he get access to your retirement fund?

22points

somethingthingsome Report

#49

I love both my kids, and I generally like them just fine, too. But my youngest is almost 5, and she's going through some kind of regression in being able to control her emotions right now. It's not fun.
Her moods are very mercurial, and I feel like I always have to tiptoe around her because the slightest little things will set off a bout of incoherent rage in her.

molten_dragon Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Kathi Schäffer 2 years ago

Hmmm that's unusual for her age. Have you considered talking to a doctor or therapist?

4points

#50

Not a throwaway account because you guys are all strangers anyway. So I resent having my daughter because when I got pregnant I planned to give her up for adoption because I was 19 when I got pregnant. I had a wonderful gay male couple in mind. Long story short I had the baby and her father and I were still together when she was born. Got post partum depression / psychosis after I had her. Had to spend 2 weeks in the hospital and as soon as I got home had to take care of her all by myself. I lived with my baby father and his parents and took care of him and the baby all by myself for two years. All he did was sit and play video games for twelve hours a day and ignore me and her. He never fed her, changed her diaper, held her, or even watched. All the while he would lie to his parents and tell them he was helping me with her. I also worked full time overnight shift and took care of her when I got home so he could go to school. He is also 5 years older then me, an army veteran, and went to school on the GI Bill. I tried to plan a wedding while working and taking care of a child and a grown man. After I couldn't take it anymore I left him and the baby at his parents and trying to improve my life. I regret leaving her and now trying to get her back. My bipolar 2 is a huge block for me taking care of her and him.

TL,DR: Wanted to give child up for adoption, convinced to keep her, got post partum psychosis, still took care of him and her, man neglected me, left him and her, trying to get her back don't want him.

Final score:

7points

POST

#51

He is a 12 year old with no concern for personal hygiene and also manipulates me with the best hugs. Wash your feet you disgusting brat.

redseaurchin Report

Final score:

7points

POST

Fredrika 2 years ago

Well do you tell him to wash his feet??

4points

#52

I love my child and want her to have a lot of fun and have the best life.

But at her age, kids are super irritating and you can only handle them in limited time periods without losing your mind.

spammmmmmmmy Report

Final score:

7points

POST

Elvira Dirge 2 years ago

But don't stop trying!

2points

#53

He did terrible in school, became a drug dealer, squatted in a house owned by the family, decided it’d be a good idea to start a METH LAB in the basement of said house, and then hired a crappy tv lawyer to blackmail us into selling the house back to him!

WesternAd9143 Report

Final score:

4points

POST

Amelia Kathleen 2 years ago

This is the plot of Breaking Bad

28points

Amockeryofthecistern Report

#54

My babys mother molded him into something i never wanted him to be and I could do nothing about it. I wanted so badly only to show him what love is but her wicked ways proved too resilient and now hes destined to the life of an outlaw. He never stood a chance

anon Report

Final score:

2points

POST

#55

Not all of them, just one. He's a mouthy little know it all 8 year old who will never admit he is wrong and is as stubborn as a mule.... just like his mum.

Final score:

-6points

POST

Sara 2 years ago

Just like his mum. How many times did I read that statement on this thread.

11points

#56

LET THE DOWNVOTES BEGIN!

He was autistic.

Now, this wasn't my son, but my step son. I started dating, and eventually marrying the mother when he was a baby/toddler respectively.

I can't remember the exact age, but we started noticing he had what we thought were 'hearing problems'. But tests came up negative.

We eventually found out they were cognitive issues. Around 4 he was diagnosed.

I've always believed the point of having children is not to HAVE CHILDREN, but to RAISE FUTURE ADULTS.

After this, I couldn't ever connect with him. He kept falling farther and farther behind. Fortunately he had joint custody with mom and dad, so I didn't have to put up with him often. I would usually view it as a 'chore'. No, I was never mean, or abusive, or anything. I just thought of him as something to be 'tolerated'.

It was one of (Not the only one) the factors in our divorce.

His is late teens now (ex and I stayed friends) and has about the developmental skills of an 8 year old.

I think there would have been a pretty decent chance my ex and I would have worked out if he had either never been born, or had been born normal.

A 'special needs' child is not a 'gift' or a 'miracle'. They are a terror.

KMApok Report

Final score:

-17points

POST

George washingmashine 2 years ago

This started not awful, but calling them not normal, something to be tolerated! You are an awful person, even if you don’t connect it is still your job to raise them.

17points

Amcthrowaway0000 , Victor Freitas Report

#57

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I live and breathe sports and activity. His mother was a personal trainer and I was a gym rat, our first date was on a climbing wall. We got married in a canoe. We took trips all around the world. We lived life like a travel brochure.

Our son was born with cerebral palsy and AMC, which basically means the joints in his arms and legs are locked up and will never move or develop. He will never walk or stand, he has limited use of his arms. We will never go fishing, canoeing or hike together. Everything that was so important to his mother and I's lives before him will never mean anything to him. In every way he is so unlike me that I struggle to relate to him at all. When he was born we both were in shock. He got rsv at 4 months and ended up in the picu. He wasn't expected to survive. Honestly? His mother and I discussed it and quietly agreed that it would be best that way. We stopped visiting. He's 11 now.

Mentally, he's above average. He gets As in a competitive private school. He competes in math and spelling bees. I hated school. He is cheerful, kind to animals and unfailingly polite. I was a sarcastic, rude little s**t who butted heads with everyone. For some reason he's still intent on impressing his parents, though I've rarely encouraged him. Despite all his wonderful traits I still try to avoid seeing him because it makes me feel guilty, depressed and disappointed, and I feel like s**t about that because all his accomplishments tell me is how much I should love him. Anyone else would be thrilled, right? If not thrilled about the medical care, at least impressed with his achievements.

I work long hours so that I can provide the best medical care he needs, the best education, anything material he could ever want. And so that I can stay away from him. Because I know he knows. He tries so hard that sometimes I'm afraid it's all a front to make it easier for us to like him.

Final score:

-52points

POST

Merilyn Horton 2 years ago

What an asshat of a parent.

324points

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

Read less »

What do you think ?

POST

Tim Pierce 2 years ago

Man am I glad I don't have kids

47points

Kathi Schäffer 2 years ago

I think it's better to know you don't want kids then to have them and resent them. So good on you!

46points

Tamra Stiffler 2 years ago

There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want, or don't want out of life. I definitely respect that.

8points

Tim Pierce 2 years ago

Downgrade me for this I won't lose any sleep

6points

Seabeast 2 years ago

Same. I decided not to for a variety of reasons and have never regretted that choice.

4points

Fabiana Suanes 2 years ago

There are options. Is not mandatory to have kids. They dont deserve to grow in families that seems to hate them. What kind of human beings they will become? We need adoption, we need abortions, proper sex education. So many bad things in the world could be avoided. If only. Im not american but please dont lose Roe vs Wade.

45points

Nia Loves Art 2 years ago

A lot of these people wanted their kids and got a really unlucky draw.

35points

Little Wonder 2 years ago

That assumes that these kids weren't wanted. Even a wanted child can turn out to be resented.

7points

MimSorensson 2 years ago (edited)

It saddens me to no end to have to jump in at a later date and tell you that Roe vs Wade was lost. America can no longer even pretend to have the moral high ground on anything what so ever. It seems now proven that the good of the people is in no way prioritized. I’m terribly sorry.

6points

Ceccyll 6 months ago

Have you read the fu****g article ? Some of them are pure evil. You cant know before what kind of problems you will have to deal, so you can choose abortion. And maybe some people dont want to have an abortion on their conscience.

1point

wv10014 2 years ago

YES.

1point

PixieVonBehr 2 years ago

As someone who had a rough childhood, I find these posts super helpful. I've never wanted children as a result of my own trauma but as a woman in her 30's I'm feeling pressure before my 'clock' gives out. Reading these helps me understand there's nothing wrong with me and having children would likely re-traumatise me all over again. Thank you for sharing your honest stories.

36points

DuchessDegu 2 years ago

It's perfectly ok and normal not to want children even without a reason! I've had a great childhood, wonderful parents and other family members and I knew from a very early age I wouldn't want children ever!

18points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

I was in the same spot for 25 years. Everyone's insisting that I HAVE to have kids or I'll be missing out and regretting it, but all I could think of was my own horror show of a childhood, because my mom HAD to have kids, and- Nope.

9points

CrazyDogLady 2 years ago

Having children is very hard, you have to change your life style, it adds pressure to your life... It's just not for everybody and thats fine. And it's better to know you don't want them and standing your ground than giving in to social pressure and then resenting your kids and your life.

6points

Yayheterogeneity 2 years ago

This makes me so sad. I wish there were more support programmes fitted for the different needs.

24points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Parents of neurodivergent kids need so much more support than they have. It's just relentless.

16points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

I didn't have kids. When I was 23, I had an abortion. All of the women in my family have kids under the circumstances above: didn't expect a special needs' child, husband/family pressured them, they though a child's love and "being a mom!" would give their lives meaning. It never, ever works, and now my family is riddled with broken, hurting, abusive people who keep repeating that cycle. I broke it. I chose an abortion instead, because, as I knew then, I'd rather risk regretting an abortion than regretting having a child. Best decision I ever made, and have never regretted it. More women need to understand that "being a mom!" isn't everything. If you're unhappy or lost or sad, having kids will only make it worse. Just ask my own mom. You just don't have kids and "hope it all works out," FFS!

22points

wv10014 2 years ago

Some people are not meant to have kids. And this is one of the many reasons that abortion should be normalized. It's not good for a child to be raised by unhappy parents. The child grows up unhappy and that leads to more overall problems in society.

22points

Zophra 2 years ago

I am going to go give my daughter a hug now.

22points

Everything is fascinating. 2 years ago

Yep same, just glad we got all the best bits from both of us in our daughter. Can't imagine how hard life would have been if she'd got all my bad bits....

7points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

This whole thing was an argument for legal, safe abortion without people screaming at someone about being mean/bad/selfish... b/c the kids do know when they'yre not wanted. And look how great they turn out b/c of their parents.... Yes, it's not always parents. but holy c**p....

16points

Cathelijne Van 1 year ago (edited)

Not always, but often it is. And don't forget there is only one side of every story here. *edit: I am not talking about the parents with disabled children

-1point

Rebecca Moore 2 years ago

I have always wanted children but have never had them and have had a couple of breakdowns because of it. Some of these stories are so heartbreaking (and I only read a few) that maybe I've been lucky to not have them.

12points

ShareMusic 2 years ago

There is so much pain here. So sad. So many heartbreaking difficulties. It doesn't help when teachers blame parents for every behavior issue their child has. Some children are just so challenging.

12points

Wilson. 2 years ago

Not the thread to read having just had a baby - hahaha!

10points

Everything is fascinating. 2 years ago

Honestly mate, I'm a middle aged dude with a teenage daughter. They are tough days, of course, but it's just amazing most of the time. Every moment with my daughter is just... fun. And has been since the first moment I held her and she stared into my eyes. Enjoy it, just accept the tiredness as the price you pay for snuggles.

10points

Don John 2 years ago

So glad im gay and have no kids.......... moneys my own....times my own.....nice house.. holidays booked for summer 2022.......... can just get up and get a plane/ train/bus anywhere i want if mood takes me........ i have zero paternal instincts..... and its pure bliss.

9points

Cathelijne Van 1 year ago

Girl here 🙋🏻‍♀️ but same 😊

3points

CrazyDogLady 2 years ago

These are super depressing but they've done one good thing for me - although my son's now going through very difficult times and i've been losing my s**t all the time, those reminded me of how much I love him no matter what and that I really need to step up my game and show it to him even more.

8points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

That's going to make so much of a positive difference. And if you need help, please don't rule out family therapy. There are tools to learn for effective communication or balancing the stress, and it's hard to see it when you're in the middle of it. To use the vernacular, "you're doing awesome, sweetie!" You really are.

3points

Katinka Min 2 years ago

Wow, that is one depressing post. But the world needs honest descriptions like this and I hope a lot fo people read it and THINK before they go and have kids. Thinks long and hard if they can provide for them, if they are metnally emotionally and financially stable enough to procreate.

7points

H M 2 years ago

I have to say most people I know expected their kids to be mini-mes. They are not. Regardless of your interest, your way of life, they are individuals and make their own decisions. Much to the shock of many. They may become nice people, they may become terrible ones. You may have no comprehension of their work, interests or ideas. Animals get this, humans don't.

6points

Sara 2 years ago

I wish people would stop trying to use or manipulate children to try and hurt their exes. Its not even about the kids in half of these. And some are about bratty sounding adults raising bratty kids. Or some whining about how they can't do fun stuff any more and their kids are a real drag. I can't stand parents like that. Usually, those people find others to raise their kids for them. My heart goes out to those in medical situations beyond their control. But the rest of these are horrible and selfish.

6points

Glasia van Duivels 2 years ago

What if the kids see this???

6points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Then I hope they'll understand how hard parenting is, and maybe not be in such a rush to repeat it. It hurts, but we have to deal with the realities, too. Knowing that my mom had me to fulfill her own issues and for me to take care of her is painful, but also informed my decision to not repeat those mistakes myself.

8points

Annabeth Chase 2 years ago

Something I hated while looking at these was the amount of “severely autistic”, “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” labels added. Autism is a spectrum and it changes day-to-day. One day I’m completely fine, the next I’m crying because my mum tried to make me brush my hair.(I have a super sensitive scalp, that she conveniently refuses to believe exists)

5points

Cathelijne Van 1 year ago

I just saw special brushes for sensitive scalp the other day on the internet. Just so you know 😘

2points

alloutbikes@yahoo.com 2 years ago

Many get frustrated trying to communicate with those on the spectrum. They forget the frustration of those on the spectrum trying to communicate with us. I have to remind my son that I don't know what he was thinking about prior to him speaking. Good luck to you.

2points

Demolition Lover (He/they) 2 years ago

Yes. This, all of this. I was feeling really awful reading this thread as someone with autism tbh.

0points

Liu Woods 2 years ago

This! Plus, every autistic trait is practically on its own spectrum. Someone can have only minor sensory issues but be terrible at handling changes in their daily routine, for example.

0points

Curry on... 2 years ago

The concern I've heard from parents of children with physical or mental problems is, 'who will take care of them after I'm gone.' Indeed...who?

5points

wv10014 2 years ago

In the U.S. there certainly aren't any good options because the GOP doesn't want to help anyone (everyone needs to "pull themselves up by their own bootstraps")

2points

Notyomama 2 years ago

Genetic testing and analysis should be free to anyone thinking of procreating. Guarantee a lot more people would choose not to do it. Family records were pretty poor back in the day. They didn't include the less "desirable" family members.

5points

Libra Rising 2 years ago

I'll make this brief but felt the need to comment. I had some very similar experiences with my second child. I sometimes hated my life because of her. We were persistent in therapy, found the right meds, secured an IEP, etc., and now she's 12 and like one of my best friends. She's still a lot and difficult sometimes but she bloomed and I know it's from the work we all put in. This can't be everyone's story and the path is still unfolding, but there is hope. I thought my life would be miserable until she moved out and now I actually miss her when she goes to her dads.

4points

Amy Taylor 2 years ago

Yes it is!! Kids feel and know more than we give them credit for. It's wonderful parents like you that make them thrive when they are born with challenges.

3points

Tigerpacingthecage 2 years ago

I think people judge these people a bit to hard in general. They share their honest struggles and are in need of support, there's actually nothing wrong with that. People often focus on the practical struggles of parenthood but forget the emotional burden, and that responsibility. I started therapy after having kids when I realized how much their emotions bring out your own unprocessed feelings - I realized I needed to get those in order first to handle parenthood. It's not selfish and I'm sure this is more common than you think. Their feelings can really turn on your own. I'm sure most of these parents LOVE their kids but they are allowed to feel overwhelmed and reach out for support. Parents need to find happiness too to be better parents and feel content in life. The whole "parents need to sacrifice everything for their kids without any complaints" need to stop. Unhappy parents lead to unhappy kids. This is them venting, please let them.

4points

Elvira Dirge 2 years ago

The number of people that read the title of this article, then opened it to read it, just to attack everyone who took it as a chance to vent and be honest are astounding. I know it's the nature of the internet, but has not one of these people ever felt guilty for feeling how they feel? Parenting is f*ing IMPOSSIBLE and even more so when it's complicated by medical, martial, etc issues. This is exactly why I don't like the word "just". "Just don't marry that person." "Just don't have kids." "Just take away x-y-z. That'll fix them." It's never EVER "just".

4points

Dee Tag 2 years ago

This was singlehandedly the most depressing article ever. Couldn't finish it.

3points

Terka Červeňáková 2 years ago

Lot's of these Are undiagnosed kids without proper care And help or medication. And #8, mum should set up hidden cameras And secretely record her argumenty with the daughter, So She can have prove for the girls dad And therapist....

3points

Everything is fascinating. 2 years ago

WOW! Reading this makes me realise how lucky I am. I know that you can do nothing about who pops out, or if they are healthy. They might get all the bad stuff and make your life tough, and I really feel for the people whose kids are ill, not sure I could cope as well as them. And if you don't want kids, don't have kids. But.... after reading this, and seeing how many negative comments there are, I just have to give one glimmer of light to people who do want, or are expecting kids. In our case, we have one daughter, she is magnificent. Quite quiet, but always sassy, and smart, but polite. I'm guessing that's just her nature because we aren't perfect parents AT ALL. Of course parenting is hard and tiring sometimes. But honestly every moment has been a joy for me. She's 14 and getting a little less communicative, but we had a daddy daughter day in Edinburgh a few weeks ago we laughed so hard for the whole day. There are tough days, but for us, or maybe just me, the joy is... beyond words

3points

Craig Reynolds 2 years ago

I never wanted kids and never had them. It wasn't because I didn't like kids. It was because I had a useless, unskilled (parenting-wise) father. He never did anything with me! Never taught me anything, never played catch, knew nothing of sports, so I learned nothing either. He knew nothing of how to be a father to a son. To do this day I know nothing about sports. I decided never to be a father because I had no role model to teach me and I was unwilling to go through the hassle of figuring it out. I also knew there were some mental health issues on both my parent's sides and I wasn't going to risk that as well. Part of the reason I divorced my first wife is that after a few years of marriage she changed her mind and decided she wanted kids and I refused to even consider it. She is bipolar, so is her brother, and so was her father so, NO WAY would I ever consider spinning that roulette wheel. That would be like staring down Karma and saying, "Show me what you got. I dare you."

2points

Darlene Thorne 2 years ago

I like working with kids, but I never had that maternal instinct. After seeing what it has done to so many families, I'm glad I didn't. Ironically, I think after watching families both succeed and fail at it, I think I would have made a good Mom overall, but it does mean giving up a good deal of one's freedom, and freedom won out for me. I am pro-choice and after reading all these stories of people who had unwanted kids, I am even more so.

2points

Geoff 2 years ago

I'm noticing that many of these posts talk about the crippling costs of caring for a child with special needs. Even in nations with public health care programs, special needs care can require additional costs that aren't covered by government plans. Even employer funded plans can come up short. I'm in Canada and I have a friend who has 2 kids on the spectrum and getting them specialized care is a financial challenge for him. I couldn't begin to imagine how much harder it would be on families in the US, where there is no funding at all. As if being a parent isn't tough enough, bearing the emotional and financial burden of a child with special needs is enough to leave even the strongest person in tears.

2points

Nancy Bania 6 months ago

This article made me feel so much better about my relationship with my daughter. She's in her 40's and I'm in my 60's. I never, ever wanted kids, but my then husband talked me into it. I was a single parent (her dad died when she was 3) and did my best. She spent her youth lying, stealing, d***s, vandalism, jail and breaking every law. We've barely spoken in 20 years. Lesson for everyone - If you don't want kids - DON'T have them.

1point

Martin 6 months ago

Hurken

1point

Jessica butts 11 months ago

Some of these parents are idiots and abusive. If you have a non-verbal child who is screaming in pain, you take them to the doctor immediately, you don't wait until their eardrum bursts. We can figure this stuff out! Please come see us!!

1point

Cathelijne Van 1 year ago (edited)

I am torn here for a bit. It is so good that parents speak up and be honest. However I have seen around me, the people whose children behave this way, have themselves to blame. One was my friend and her kid was rude, hit her, screamed and yelled. He never had any boundaries. She always gave in. She was very selfish, wanted to go out on weekends and use drugs. Dump her kid with friends. She also yelled at him. She brought him over to stay and didn't tell him. She then bought back his love with buying him stuff. She put him in a hippie school whereas everyone told her he needed more structure in his life. Everyone disliked the kid but I thought it was so sad to see he just wanted to get her attention and love but did not know how

1point

ADumpsterFire 2 years ago

Brb just making an appointment to get my tubes tied...

1point

Brigit Sole-March 2 years ago

Sometimes narcissism, borderline personality disorder, and even the dark triad (narcissism, Machiavellianism & psychopathy or sociopathy) manifest in our children. When this happens, it is tough to get help for these kids, as they tend to be hardwired that way, and feel no need to change or be 'helped'. They often grow into toxic adults even when they have had 'good parenting'. Brutal but true. One imagines that young Hitler, Mussolini, Jeffrey Dahmer or other adult psychopaths must have been a handful, if not ignored and mistreated.

1point

Holly Bee 2 years ago

I don't think telling parents that 'they had options' is all that helpful. If they REALLY didn't want kids, they shouldn't have put out. Sh!t happens. These people can't do a whole lot about that now. If they spent all their time thinking they should have gotten an abortion, and if thats all they're hearing from other people, then yeah they'd be miserable and resentful and guilty 24 7. How about offering actual helpful suggestions for their life NOW.

1point

That'sEndorable 2 years ago (edited)

These stories are so moving. I love my son so much, and I get told so often that I'm such a great Dad. No, I'm not. I'm not saying I'm a bad Dad, but I have a great son... and one who has been "easy" in a lot of ways. I am so grateful for him. It's not that he doesn't have problems that make life a little complicated: he's had milk allergies, neurological problems, and I'm anxious for him because he's so small. But these people with kids with autism... I know they ALSO don't get the billion little rewards that can be so sustaining. They are so much stronger than I.

1point

Will Cross 2 years ago

Heartbreaking to say the least.

1point

Mandy Kat 2 years ago

These posts were truly heartbreaking to read. As a parent of a special needs child, I can relate to that feeling of helplessness, never ending fatigue and stress. The mourning of the loss of hopes and dreams you had for your child, which were instantly crushed the moment you finally learned what’s wrong with your kid. Many of these parents seem to have some serious caregiver fatigue, and I can’t emphasize how important it is to carve out “me” time in your day, even taking a walk or closing the bedroom door just to breathe for 5 minutes or whatever works for you. I know, I know, when people used to tell me “be sure to take care of yourself!” I just wanted to punch them in the face. Like how could they possibly ever understand what I was going through? It took me awhile but now it is set as my important routine. And find support/affinity groups with parents who are struggling with parenting challenging kids. We are out there and we don’t judge your kid’s behavior.

1point

Throw Away 2 years ago

I have recently had to go no contact with my eldest child. She is in her early 20s and married with a one year old and one on the way. Over the years I have taken her to therapists etc with her mental health issues as well as epilepsy. Last year she told me it was all my fault and that she didn't need any of the therapy or medications. She was begging for mental health support at around 14 and was self harming. I did absolutely everything I could to make her happy and feel supported. But she threw it back at me. She would run away a lot so I would have to go searching for her and often get the police involved. I believe now that she wanted the attention. Since having her first child her mental health has declined significantly. Her wife has control over everything in their relationship but when I brought this up I was called everything under the sun. I have been stopped from seeing my grandchild on and off over the last year because I apparently don't do enough for them.

1point

Throw Away 2 years ago

She has now gone too far and over the course of the last month sent me far too many nasty texts. Telling me how I failed as a parent and calling me lots of names. For my own mental health I have now stopped all contact with her. I am utterly deverstated but some of the things she has said are unforgivable. I don't hatr my daughter, but I do hate her wife and I hate how my daughter treated me.

0points

Rory Theabeau 4 months ago

I don't like my grown daughter. She is the most selfish manipulative person. She lies about me. I spent so many years loving her and trying to do my best for her and she's such a selfish and hateful person. We aren't on speaking terms and I am so happy I don't have to continue that bad relationship.

0points

Shawna Burt 1 year ago

I'm feeling the need to go give my parents a big freakin' bear hug, because they raised me right.

0points

pp horrendous 1 year ago

bro this is so depressing what the f**k

0points

Charlotte Richards 1 year ago

I don't want kids. At all. In any capacity. I don't even want to live in the same house as kids. I just can't, the very thought makes me sick. However, my partner very much wants a kid or two of her own. I love her so much and I know how much it would mean to her to have a kid, but I just wouldn't be able to deal with it. I'm worried that if we have a kid, not only will it make me miserable, but it could put a huge strain on our relationship. I've actually thought about leaving if I must to avoid living in the same house as a child, and I hate it. I hate that I hate children enough that I'd even consider leaving my partner. She's wonderful, makeno mistake, and our relationship is thriving. We've had hurdles, but we've worked over them. This is probably the wrong place to ask but I don't have a Reddit account - AITA?

0points

Nirmiti 1 year ago

No justification. You cannot do something this horrible parents. If you don’t want children, don’t have ANY kind of sexual relations with the opposite gender.

0points

Monique Rosewood 1 year ago

A lot of these people did want children and were unhappy because they drew the short stick. That happens. My mother absolutely hated me growing up, not because of behavioral issues but because I looked like my father. There should be more education on how difficult having children will be.

0points

Danielle Pottinger 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Andrea Macinnis 2 years ago

A look on the other side. The first 12 yrs of my life was in the care of a mentally unstable mother and foster care. When my father finally got custody of both myself and a younger sister, he was already remarried with a baby boy. Realizing at the age of 12 that my parents would never reunite, i took to blaming my stepmother. By the time i turned 16, i was in full rebellion to my stepmother in every way. I did whatever i want, whenever i wanted. I had absolutely no respect for what this poor woman had sacrificed to be my stepmother. We literally hated eachother for years. Although i was a child for some of those years, i was old enough to know i was being an Ahole in my choice ways of tormenting her. By the time i had turned 20, my father, stepmother and i had washed our hands of eachother. It wasnt until my late 20s and my stepmother was in the throws of a sugar coma and diabetic shock that nearly killed her, did i realize how much of a damn good mom she had been for all those years.

0points

Dorothy Cloud 2 years ago

I could not finish reading all these scenarios. My heart breaks for all of them. I pray their lives will soon be happier.

0points

Kat 2 years ago (edited)

Most are really unfortunate examples, but then some are just plain a ..hole people and I feel sorry for their children. Also reading all the comments has made me wonder if I'm actually the only one here that actually likes her kids and is happy to be a parent and who really doesn't feel like it is that hard. Also it hasn't stopped us from travelling, we do it with kids and it's a lot of fun.

0points

Gladys Hayes Southerland 1 year ago (edited)

glad you spoke up as l was wondering the same thing. I was a single mom with 2, seven years apart. Best adventure of my life! My daughter says she was so happy with our little family, when the teacher asked what did she want to be when she grew up, she replied 'a single mother like my mom" & l got a phone call that night. We had great times, challenging times, and always loving times They're 37 & 29 now and we're the best of friends, still.

0points

Kurtis Wethington 2 years ago

Remember how talks shows would have teens who "can't WAIT" to have kids as if it'd be fun and glamorous then they get sent to boot camps and women's shelters to see how hard parenthood (ESPECIALLY single motherhood) really is to scare them straight? Same energy here, but in written form and no bratty, wannabe Z-listers in skanky clothes screaming at the audience.

0points

Seabeast 2 years ago

I had to stop reading. These are too depressing.

0points

Susan Bosse 2 years ago

I'm thankful daily for my son. I'm even more so after readying these. I feel for these families and I can empathize with their situations.

0points

WarpedThoughts 2 years ago

Wow. How to make your audience depressed with an article 80% full of jack a*s parents bitching about their CHILDREN?!? In most cases. Good on yea Bored Panda for encouraging depression and mental illness in a post. Bye 🤘

-1point

LSR 2 years ago

See what happens when you don't buy a condom? Euthanize all these mentals, they are a burden on society.

-3points

Sara 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

goyey 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

jessie43 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

ThumbsUpGuy 2 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

MimSorensson 2 years ago

A bit tasteless pushing some religious narrative in a thread like this, isn’t it? People share their real pain that they live with, and you feel it prudent to respond by lecturing about some delusional end-of-the-world-scenario, trying to push your god on people…? Not morally ok, man. Please, as an adult, keep your perceived self righteousness and your oppressive beliefs to yourself.

12points

Soggy Crumpet 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Axolotl King 2 years ago

Or maybe it's a good thing that people are finally able to talk about the hardships of being a parent? I imagine not too long ago this kind of talk was greatly frowned upon. There are also plenty BP articles that talk about the joy of parenthood

36points

Judes 2 years ago

You don't have to read it.

7points

Sinkvenice 2 years ago

And what agenda is that exactly?

0points

POST

Tim Pierce 2 years ago

Man am I glad I don't have kids

47points

Kathi Schäffer 2 years ago

I think it's better to know you don't want kids then to have them and resent them. So good on you!

46points

Tamra Stiffler 2 years ago

There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want, or don't want out of life. I definitely respect that.

8points

Tim Pierce 2 years ago

Downgrade me for this I won't lose any sleep

6points

Seabeast 2 years ago

Same. I decided not to for a variety of reasons and have never regretted that choice.

4points

Fabiana Suanes 2 years ago

45points

Nia Loves Art 2 years ago

A lot of these people wanted their kids and got a really unlucky draw.

35points

Little Wonder 2 years ago

That assumes that these kids weren't wanted. Even a wanted child can turn out to be resented.

7points

MimSorensson 2 years ago (edited)

6points

Ceccyll 6 months ago

1point

wv10014 2 years ago

YES.

1point

PixieVonBehr 2 years ago

36points

DuchessDegu 2 years ago

18points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

9points

CrazyDogLady 2 years ago

6points

Yayheterogeneity 2 years ago

This makes me so sad. I wish there were more support programmes fitted for the different needs.

24points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Parents of neurodivergent kids need so much more support than they have. It's just relentless.

16points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

22points

wv10014 2 years ago

22points

Zophra 2 years ago

I am going to go give my daughter a hug now.

22points

Everything is fascinating. 2 years ago

Yep same, just glad we got all the best bits from both of us in our daughter. Can't imagine how hard life would have been if she'd got all my bad bits....

7points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

16points

Cathelijne Van 1 year ago (edited)

Not always, but often it is. And don't forget there is only one side of every story here. *edit: I am not talking about the parents with disabled children

-1point

Rebecca Moore 2 years ago

12points

ShareMusic 2 years ago

There is so much pain here. So sad. So many heartbreaking difficulties. It doesn't help when teachers blame parents for every behavior issue their child has. Some children are just so challenging.

12points

Wilson. 2 years ago

Not the thread to read having just had a baby - hahaha!

10points

Everything is fascinating. 2 years ago

10points

Don John 2 years ago

9points

Cathelijne Van 1 year ago

Girl here 🙋🏻‍♀️ but same 😊

3points

CrazyDogLady 2 years ago

8points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

3points

Katinka Min 2 years ago

7points

H M 2 years ago

6points

Sara 2 years ago

6points

Glasia van Duivels 2 years ago

What if the kids see this???

6points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

8points

Annabeth Chase 2 years ago

5points

Cathelijne Van 1 year ago

I just saw special brushes for sensitive scalp the other day on the internet. Just so you know 😘

2points

alloutbikes@yahoo.com 2 years ago

2points

Demolition Lover (He/they) 2 years ago

Yes. This, all of this. I was feeling really awful reading this thread as someone with autism tbh.

0points

Liu Woods 2 years ago

This! Plus, every autistic trait is practically on its own spectrum. Someone can have only minor sensory issues but be terrible at handling changes in their daily routine, for example.

0points

Curry on... 2 years ago

The concern I've heard from parents of children with physical or mental problems is, 'who will take care of them after I'm gone.' Indeed...who?

5points

wv10014 2 years ago

In the U.S. there certainly aren't any good options because the GOP doesn't want to help anyone (everyone needs to "pull themselves up by their own bootstraps")

2points

Notyomama 2 years ago

5points

Libra Rising 2 years ago

4points

Amy Taylor 2 years ago

Yes it is!! Kids feel and know more than we give them credit for. It's wonderful parents like you that make them thrive when they are born with challenges.

3points

Tigerpacingthecage 2 years ago

4points

Elvira Dirge 2 years ago

4points

Dee Tag 2 years ago

This was singlehandedly the most depressing article ever. Couldn't finish it.

3points

Terka Červeňáková 2 years ago

3points

Everything is fascinating. 2 years ago

3points

Craig Reynolds 2 years ago

2points

Darlene Thorne 2 years ago

2points

Geoff 2 years ago

2points

Nancy Bania 6 months ago

1point

Martin 6 months ago

Hurken

1point

Jessica butts 11 months ago

1point

Cathelijne Van 1 year ago (edited)

1point

ADumpsterFire 2 years ago

Brb just making an appointment to get my tubes tied...

1point

Brigit Sole-March 2 years ago

1point

Holly Bee 2 years ago

1point

That'sEndorable 2 years ago (edited)

1point

Will Cross 2 years ago

Heartbreaking to say the least.

1point

Mandy Kat 2 years ago

1point

Throw Away 2 years ago

1point

Throw Away 2 years ago

0points

Rory Theabeau 4 months ago

0points

Shawna Burt 1 year ago

I'm feeling the need to go give my parents a big freakin' bear hug, because they raised me right.

0points

pp horrendous 1 year ago

bro this is so depressing what the f**k

0points

Charlotte Richards 1 year ago

0points

Nirmiti 1 year ago

No justification. You cannot do something this horrible parents. If you don’t want children, don’t have ANY kind of sexual relations with the opposite gender.

0points

Monique Rosewood 1 year ago

0points

Danielle Pottinger 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Andrea Macinnis 2 years ago

0points

Dorothy Cloud 2 years ago

I could not finish reading all these scenarios. My heart breaks for all of them. I pray their lives will soon be happier.

0points

Kat 2 years ago (edited)

0points

Gladys Hayes Southerland 1 year ago (edited)

0points

Kurtis Wethington 2 years ago

0points

Seabeast 2 years ago

I had to stop reading. These are too depressing.

0points

Susan Bosse 2 years ago

I'm thankful daily for my son. I'm even more so after readying these. I feel for these families and I can empathize with their situations.

0points

WarpedThoughts 2 years ago

-1point

LSR 2 years ago

See what happens when you don't buy a condom? Euthanize all these mentals, they are a burden on society.

-3points

Sara 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

goyey 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

jessie43 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

ThumbsUpGuy 2 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

MimSorensson 2 years ago

12points

Soggy Crumpet 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Axolotl King 2 years ago

36points