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Plus-Sized Woman Points Out 10 Things Skinny People Are Allowed To Do But She Is Scrutinized For
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Plus-Sized Woman Points Out 10 Things Skinny People Are Allowed To Do But She Is Scrutinized For

Plus-Sized Woman Points Out XX Things Skinny People Are Allowed To Do But She Is Scrutinized ForWoman Shares All The Things She's Not 10 Things Plus-Sized Woman Feels She Can’t Do Without Being Judged Because Of Her Weight“Not Allowed To Do Because I’m Fat”: Plus-Size Woman Details Things She Often Gets Judged ForWoman Starts Discussion After Naming Things She's Not Woman Calls Out Everyday Fatphobic Things That Are Still Way Too Prominent In SocietyWoman Breaks Down The Things That She’s Socially Scrutinized For Doing Because She’s OverweightPlus-Sized Woman Opens Up About The Things She Can’t Do Without People Commenting On ThemWoman Shares The Normal Things She’s Constantly Dragged For Just For Being Overweight
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Over the past century, the world has made great strides towards equality. Gay marriage is now legal in at least 36 countries, and dozens of nations have had female leaders. But unfortunately, we still have a long way to go in eradicating prejudice from the world, and one of the areas where we have plenty of room for improvement is the realm of body positivity. 

The body positivity movement has grown exponentially in recent years, but there’s no question that fatphobia is present in the day to day lives of plus-size people. That’s why content creator Michelle Platti hopped on TikTok to call out all of the things she’s “not allowed” to do as a fat person. Below, you’ll find all of Michelle’s thoughts on this topic, as well as some of the replies she received from viewers.

Fatphobia is still alive and well in modern society

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

That’s why this content creator is calling out things she is judged for doing, solely because of her weight

“Let’s talk about some things that I’m not allowed to do because I’m fat. Take that with a grain of salt. I’m not saying I can’t do these things. I’m just saying when I do, I always get some interesting responses.”

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Image credits: michelleplatti

“Starting out strong, if you’re fat, you’re not allowed to say that you’re fat, because people will say, ‘You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.’ Like, when did I say I was ugly? Seriously, fat’s not like, a bad word. It’s just factual, I’m just fat, it’s it’s gonna be okay.”

“I’m never allowed to think that a boy is flirting with me. I’ll have someone actually flirt with me, and I’ll be like, ‘This guy, I feel like is flirting with me,’ and my friend will be like, ‘Really, do you think so?'”

Image credits: michelleplatti

“I’m definitely not allowed to say that I’m hungry first or suggest that we go get food. Um, because clearly I’m so skinny, you only know if I’m fat by me being like, ‘let’s go get food.'”

“I feel like, when you’re fat, you’re not allowed to say that you’re lazy. You can’t be lazy. This really upsets me, because I am lazy. I’m not fat because I’m lazy, or lazy because I’m fat, I just like to sit and rot and watch TikToks. It’s cute and fun when a skinny girl does it and she’s just like ‘self care.’ But when I do, people are like, ‘go to the gym’ or ‘stop eating.'”

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Image credits: michelleplatti

“In public I’m honestly not allowed to eat anything. Because if I eat something healthy, like a salad or something, people think, ‘Yeah, right, you want to eat that? Fatty.’ But then if I eat a piece of cake, it’s also like ‘Classic, that’s what we expected.’ There’s no winning.”

“That being said, I also feel like I can’t go to the gym because I feel like I’m being judged at the gym. And I don’t understand that, because it’s like, do you want me to stay fat, or do you want me to not? I just feel like I can’t win here.”

“I feel like I’m not allowed to take the elevator. I still do it because I hate walking up the stairs, which I’m also not allowed to complain about. If a skinny person was out of breath from walking up the stairs, it’s fine. I feel like people are judging me for taking the elevator. They’re like, ‘Of course she’s in the elevator.’ But they’re literally in the elevator too.”

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Image credits: michelleplatti

“You’re definitely not allowed to say that you have been compared to a skinny celebrity before. I’ve been told I look like a variety of celebrities. I’ve gotten Rebel Wilson, because she’s fat, Adele, because she was fat, but honestly the way more common ones are Amy Winehouse and Ariana Grande and I feel like I’m not allowed to say them because I’m fat and they’re not.

It’s kind of reminds me of the girl who said that she looked like Megan Fox on Love is Blind. Everyone on the internet was like, ‘She looks like she ate Megan Fox.’ If she was skinny, and she said that, it would have been fine.”

Image credits: michelleplatti

“I’m never allowed to call out fatphobia, because when I do, people get very defensive over it. And I understand, but I also feel like this person did this because of my weight, or you said this because of my weight, and they just don’t get it. It is really irritating, and honestly, it’s worse than the fatphobia itself.”

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Image credits: michelleplatti

“I’m never allowed to say that I want dessert first. I feel like I have to go with the flow of the skinny people that I’m with when it comes to dessert. I almost always want a sweet treat, and I feel like I shouldn’t be crucified for that because of my size.”

You can see Michelle’s first video on this topic right here

@michelleplatti things im not allowed to do because im fat #fyp #plussize #storytime #plussizedating ♬ Not my fault sped up – Abby :)

Later, she called out even more things she’s “not allowed” to do

@michelleplatti Replying to @Becca Rhein more things im not allowed to do because im fat #fyp #plussize #storytime #plussizedating ♬ Not my fault sped up – Abby :)

Image credits: Andres Ayrton / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Weight discrimination is extremely common and harmful

It may seem like plus size people have been getting much more representation in the media in recent years, which is wonderful, but the vast majority of people I see online and on my TV screen are still extremely thin. When I watch movies, I often notice how tiny all of the women onscreen are, and I can’t help but feel pressure to want to shrink myself down to the same size.

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And because we’ve been conditioned to believe that these small bodies are the norm, many people have subconsciously adopted fatphobic ideology. According to Within Health, fatphobia is “an implicit bias of overweight individuals,” which is “often rooted in the misguided idea that attaining a thin or fit body type is the ultimate life goal, and presenting as overweight is a sign of moral failing.”

It also seems to have only gotten worse with recent health initiatives geared towards battling obesity. In fact, one study found that discrimination based on weight increased by two thirds between 2011 and 2021. One of the reasons why fatphobia is so common is because it’s often seen as one of the only types of discrimination that’s considered socially acceptable.

Just like any other form of prejudice, judging others for their weight can have long-lasting effects. Within Health notes that weight bias can cause or exacerbate depression, poor body image, low self-esteem, psychological stress, body dissatisfaction and substance abuse. Not to mention all of the frustrating double standards that fat individuals have to deal with on a daily basis, which Michelle addressed in her videos.

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Image credits: Matilda Wormwood / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Over two thirds of adults in the United States are overweight

But the reality is that being in a fat body is extremely normal nowadays. In fact, in certain parts of the world, it’s even more common than being thin. According to the World Health Organization, about 16% of adults around the world were obese in 2022, while 43% of adults were overweight. At the same time, about 390 million kids and teens between the ages of 5-19 were overweight.

In the United States, Healthline reports that about 42% of adults are obese, and 30.7% of adults are overweight. While it’s understandable for people to want to lose weight or get into better shape to increase their overall health, there’s absolutely no reason to shame people for how their bodies look. In fact, it’s well known that shame is not an effective motivator in getting people to lose weight. One study actually found that obese individuals who report experiencing weight discrimination are actually 3.2 times more likely to remain obese.

I was always taught that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. And it’s so easy for fatphobic individuals to keep their mouths shut when they think of hurtful comments. But if we really want to eradicate weight discrimination, we should be talking about it and calling it out. 

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Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Everyone deserves to love their body and feel comfortable in their own skin

The Butterfly Foundation notes that it’s important to push back against diet culture, no matter what size you are, because you may be contributing to it without even realizing. Know that your body is not a problem that needs to be solved, and accept that it’s beautiful just the way it is. If you want to reduce your own weight bias, one great way to do so is by diversifying your feed.

If all you see on Instagram is skinny models and thin influencers, you’re probably going to start to believe that’s what everyone should look like. Follow creators of all different body types, races, gender expressions, etc. to remind yourself how unique humans truly are. Remember to challenge fatphobic thoughts that creep up in your own head as well. No, you don’t need to “run off” that piece of cake you ate, and you don’t need to “suck in” when you take photos. 

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Try to stop worrying so much about how your body looks. Accept it for how it is and be grateful for all that it can do. And of course, call out friends and family members who perpetuate diet culture or spread fatphobia. 

We would love to hear your thoughts on Michelle’s videos in the comments below, pandas. Have you ever experienced similar fatphobia in your own life? Feel free to share, and then check out this Bored Panda piece discussing similar themes!

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Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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Dreaming Spirit
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is something called "spotlight effect" - people around you think about you less than you think about yourself. When is the last time you woke up at night and thought about your friend Jane who had burger instead of salad for dinner last week? Well, right - never. That was something my therapist made me realize and it helped a lot.

XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. Just using myself as an example, I'm pretty skinny and I honestly it doesn't even cross my mind when or how much ANY person eats. I'm not that invested in your life, nor am I the audience to your one-man/woman show lol. I know that sounds harsh, but it's honest. For those who have *friends* saying these things, you're allowed to be whatever size you want, you simply need new friends.

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William Teach
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I’m not fat because I’m lazy, or lazy because I’m fat, I just like to sit and rot and watch TikToks. It’s cute and fun when a skinny girl does it and she’s just like ‘self care.’ But when I do, people are like, ‘go to the gym’ or ‘stop eating.'”" No, I mentally tell them to get off social media and go do something. Stop spending all day thinking about what Victimhood video you will do, writing a script, recording it over and over, and then obsessively watching the hit counter.

P Peitsch
Community Member
4 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Right! Yocial media itself is a fck-you-all! Yeah. I'm lucky bei g a tzeen before ev en MyAYSpace existed, noz to speak abouzt facebook. In my mind was: Who-in-their-right-mind-would-thkink-looking-at-shítty-tik-toks-is-"self-care"? In what world?

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Kerri Russ
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have personally experienced every single one of not just her points, but all of the comments (except the ones where she mentions friends... I don't have any). I know it all shouldn't bother me but it does and I act accordingly. We recently moved to Vegas where it's 110 or113 degree heat... I bought sleeveless shirts-- I had none--and capri pants. I still feel wrong wearing them out where people will see me... but I got over it and wore sleeveless shirts outside! I have shorts but I can't make myself go outside in them.

Iamhuman
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm seeing comments to the effect of, "No one else is thinking about you as much as YOU'RE thinking about you," or, "I'm not judging others based on their appearance." Just because you're not thinking or behaving in a judgemental manner, doesn't mean others aren't or can't in any given situation. Additionally, unconscious microaggressions exist, and one may not be aware of the instances one is exhibiting such behavior because usually they are, by nature, unconscious. Also, even if someone wouldn't remember later behaving or speaking in judgement, it doesn't mean that the recipient of said behavior wouldn't carry that with them, whether short or long-term. I also saw some saying, "Wouldn't fat-phobia mean fear of fat people?" but we also have other words with the suffix -phobia, such as homophobia, transphobia, and so forth, which do not mean literal fear of people of those communities, but a dislike, discrimination, disparagement against individuals/groups of the identity.

Sophia Athene
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! When I was an acceptable weight, some friends, acquaintances, and family have said every one of those statements. When I gained a ridiculous amount of weight due to chronic depression over two years, I looked like those people they criticized. I got the side eye or the veiled laughter. I hid in my hotel room and cried for a day after coming home for a family member's funeral. I did go to the funeral but left immediately b/c I couldn't handle the looks.

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Hoi-Polloi
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

About half the things this lady calls out are just in her mind. "... if I eat something healthy, like a salad or something, people think, ‘Yeah, right, you want to eat that? Fatty.’ ..." That's all you, sister. Honestly, people are thinking about you way less than you believe, either positive or negative thoughts. Most people are busy with their own deal.

Papa
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking much the same thing. I noticed she often said "people are thinking this" or "I feel like this." She's not a mind reader, so she doesn't know what people are thinking, and no one else is responsible for her feelings.

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Kill-Bunny
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some things are literally just in her head, but the flirting and actual fatfobia of some people without realizing it is 100%. I am quite plus size, however I get quite some attention when we used to get out with friends. And many people just can't believe that to the point, where the guy actually had to tell my (then) friend, that he is flirting with me, and not her (he showed zero attention to her, and she could not believe that). And on fatfobia thing: I was talking with my friend that I was on a hike few days back to try the new trail and due to it being very windy, not I have neck pain. She decided to correct me and tell, that I my neck hurts because I don't get out and sit on the coach all day. We talk with her like once or twice a year and she has no clue what I do at my free time.

Pen Irwin
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The while context of this is "I feel..." Which obviously tells anyone that SHE feels these things are somehow true. Even though no one has told her to not get dessert or tell them she is hungry. Not once have I ever heard someone say "look how cute that guy is sitting there on the couch for hours mislead scrolling through tick toc! How absolutely adorable! Not. Never. I'm sorry she FEELS this way but a lot of this are things she needs to work on for her own personal self care and love.

Sophia Athene
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She didn't say no one never said those things about her or that she hasn't heard someone say these things. I have! It's horrible, both hearing those statements made about others and about me.

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Karmen vrt
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its so irritating, im fat, my boss is not, but im great at my job she is super happy with me, but at least once per shift she will make a coment like "oh we need to arrange that, but look i can pass trugh this space but you could never" or "i will handle this because my arms ae skinny but your hands would never fit" "yes that clients, she was like your size so she definitiely could not do that" and honestly I'm considering quiting over this, because yes I own a mirror,i know im not skinny and im not happy about it, im trying to change it but you do not have to coment about my weight constantly and compare everything to my size...

Phoenix Hocking
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recently had a slight injury (hamstring), and I told my doctor on the phone that I did look at the back of my leg to see if it was discolored, because we were ruling out a blood clot. He asked if it was, and said, "No, it's just my old fat leg." He laughed, but it was a laugh WITH me kind of laugh, not a laugh AT me kind of laugh. I love my doctor. As for being fat...yeah, I'm a little self-conscious, especially when it comes to clothes, but I have no problem eating in public. I truly do not care what anybody thinks about what I'm eating or how I look. I've been fat off-and-on for pretty much all of my adult life, and I'm 75 now. I did lose weight, but that's because I wanted to avoid knee replacement surgery. I'm eating healthier foods now, not so much processed foods, and practically no sugar, but that's only because I feel better when I cut the c**p out of my diet.

Stephen Andrews
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife has battled numerous illnesses since 2006 and weighs 88 lbs. right now. We’ve tried everything to get her to a healthy weight but it’s a daily battle (26 hospitalizations and counting). She constantly gets rude comments from heavy people that go something like” wish I had your problems”. No, you really don’t.

DaisyBee
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m heavier lately due to PCOS causing weight gain (slowly getting back to normal post treatment). I was very self conscious, and only once encountered someone who called me a whale for eating a burger. Bratty teenager trying to impress his friends by being edgy. I told him his father loves my body, kept eating and enjoyed my day. He scuttled off as his friends teased him. Did it sting? Sure. But people forget that with bullying, a certain amount of allowing yourself to be the victim CAN be a thing. Fight back, live your life, and stop letting these “rules” dictate what you do or don’t do. Words only carry the power that YOU give to them

François Bouzigues
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

About the gym part. It is time you get past your prejudices and actually go to a gym. It is one of the most suportives communities like ever. And that massive super shredded guys ? Was overweight at some point, almost guaranteed. Clumsy ,awkward workout is still way better than no workout. There will be super fit people, not so fit people. If you see a gym, veteran, they will mostly thrilled to share some gym wisdom with you if you ask.

DaisyBee
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mostly one of the most supportive. However, I went to the gym with a heavier friend of mine, and watched as she was told “people like you don’t belong here.” When pressed further, this person’s entire group doubled down and said “fat people aren’t welcome in the gym.” So while most gyms are absolutely great, there are those that are very clique focused, and that clique is skinny.

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Alex Mosby
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I genuinely never think anyone is looking at me. I'm always in my own head so I'm really not noticing other people either, especially not strangers. It has to be really obvious that someone is staring or they'd have to say something to me. I've been fat my whole life but I was never teased as a kid for being fat. The fat phobia I experienced was at the doctors office.

Baba 35
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why the effing hell wasn't this a readable page, I don't want to go on some site to watch a video just do what u do when yous steal off reddit or other blood sites its ridiculous

Christopher Crockett
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she's cute! She's smart and seems to have a good personality too. I'd totally date this lady.

Tyranamar Seuss
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a fair representation of the things fat people worry others are thinking about them. I don't think it's an accurate representation of what other people actually are thinking. But her fears are spot on. I get nervous in crowds and can't eat. People are always looking at me weird and making comments, "you can have more you know." I always think they probably think I'm afraid to eat in front of them bc I'm fat. But reality is everyone knows I have to eat more than average to weigh more than average. I just get nervous in crowds. And when I'm nervous I don't eat. But I realize maybe this is me projecting stuff.

Katiekat
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to weigh over 400 and am now down to 250, with more to go. Every single time, even as a kid, that someone said some c**p to me, I got LOUD and obnoxious and ANGRY and shut them up and shut them down. I've had enough fat-shaming for several lifetimes. Highly recommend letting that anger out, esp as a young woman. Wielded skillfully like a weapon, anger can do amazing things to people who want to shame you and keep you small. Remember shame is imposed from the outside, and it's always about control, dominance, and power. Resist. Be shameless. Be vocal and learn to self-advocate. Feels amazing, and people who aren't friends, who don't like you, who don't want you to succeed WILL back off, back down, shut up, and LEAVE.

Violent Doll
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been plus sized pretty much my entire life, bounced between a size 12 and a size 20 (currently at 14\16), and, while I don't generally get rude unsolicited comments, they have happened. I like to loudly say NO I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU! as a response. Shuts people down pretty fast.

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DC
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

... and what if the majority of people don't really care? I see people of all sizes and shades every day, and I either am thinking through something, or don't have a mind for problems I neither caused, nor can solve. Also, they're all strangers.

Donna Grainger
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was fat shamed in my early years. Life is too short to let other people's opinions make you unhappy. Now, I have stopped caring what anyone thinks about my weight, I give back what they give to me... in my own way. Nothing gets to people like this, more than not being able to get to you. "You should be eating a salad!" "You eat a salad, I am eating this!" (Chomps and beams happily) You can't be hungry again!" "Well, I am, deal with it!" "I would die of embarrassment if I were that fat!! She looks a beached whale!" "Well, you look like your parents didn't care enough to teach you manners, now where is the beach, I want to swim!" All the while, I am rocking being happy. I am much lighter without the weight of caring about other people's opinions.

Jonas Fisher
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These aren't things she can't do. This is just a list of things she is neurotic about.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Technically, yes, by definition, but it's come to mean "discrimination/dislike of people who are fat" instead.

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Poediddy
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sick and tired of people saying being fat is healthy.. no one should ever be bullied or called out for being fat/overweight, but stop gaslighting people into believing fat people are healthy! (Now let the criticism begin... starting with my use of he word ...FAT... I can hear it now... "You're just fatphobic!")

Display_Name
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman needs to see a therapists. The things she is saying are valid for her. Although they are not actually happening. If she is hearing these things from people she is around then she needs to lose these people much more than she needs to lose weight.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman is way way too far inside her own head. Why? Don't know.

LokisLilButterknife
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really feel like this woman needs to see a therapist and I'm not saying that to be mean or hurtful. I'm saying it out of concern as it sounds like she is projecting a lot of these things. Yes, fatphobia and fat-shaming our indeed things that happen. However, if she is thinking that she is unable to do all of these things because of what people may say she should find people who support and uphold her. In all honesty, people are way more concerned with their own lives to honestly care about how someone looks, what someone eats, who is exercising at the gym, etc.

Dreaming Spirit
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is something called "spotlight effect" - people around you think about you less than you think about yourself. When is the last time you woke up at night and thought about your friend Jane who had burger instead of salad for dinner last week? Well, right - never. That was something my therapist made me realize and it helped a lot.

XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. Just using myself as an example, I'm pretty skinny and I honestly it doesn't even cross my mind when or how much ANY person eats. I'm not that invested in your life, nor am I the audience to your one-man/woman show lol. I know that sounds harsh, but it's honest. For those who have *friends* saying these things, you're allowed to be whatever size you want, you simply need new friends.

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William Teach
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I’m not fat because I’m lazy, or lazy because I’m fat, I just like to sit and rot and watch TikToks. It’s cute and fun when a skinny girl does it and she’s just like ‘self care.’ But when I do, people are like, ‘go to the gym’ or ‘stop eating.'”" No, I mentally tell them to get off social media and go do something. Stop spending all day thinking about what Victimhood video you will do, writing a script, recording it over and over, and then obsessively watching the hit counter.

P Peitsch
Community Member
4 months ago

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Right! Yocial media itself is a fck-you-all! Yeah. I'm lucky bei g a tzeen before ev en MyAYSpace existed, noz to speak abouzt facebook. In my mind was: Who-in-their-right-mind-would-thkink-looking-at-shítty-tik-toks-is-"self-care"? In what world?

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Kerri Russ
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have personally experienced every single one of not just her points, but all of the comments (except the ones where she mentions friends... I don't have any). I know it all shouldn't bother me but it does and I act accordingly. We recently moved to Vegas where it's 110 or113 degree heat... I bought sleeveless shirts-- I had none--and capri pants. I still feel wrong wearing them out where people will see me... but I got over it and wore sleeveless shirts outside! I have shorts but I can't make myself go outside in them.

Iamhuman
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm seeing comments to the effect of, "No one else is thinking about you as much as YOU'RE thinking about you," or, "I'm not judging others based on their appearance." Just because you're not thinking or behaving in a judgemental manner, doesn't mean others aren't or can't in any given situation. Additionally, unconscious microaggressions exist, and one may not be aware of the instances one is exhibiting such behavior because usually they are, by nature, unconscious. Also, even if someone wouldn't remember later behaving or speaking in judgement, it doesn't mean that the recipient of said behavior wouldn't carry that with them, whether short or long-term. I also saw some saying, "Wouldn't fat-phobia mean fear of fat people?" but we also have other words with the suffix -phobia, such as homophobia, transphobia, and so forth, which do not mean literal fear of people of those communities, but a dislike, discrimination, disparagement against individuals/groups of the identity.

Sophia Athene
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! When I was an acceptable weight, some friends, acquaintances, and family have said every one of those statements. When I gained a ridiculous amount of weight due to chronic depression over two years, I looked like those people they criticized. I got the side eye or the veiled laughter. I hid in my hotel room and cried for a day after coming home for a family member's funeral. I did go to the funeral but left immediately b/c I couldn't handle the looks.

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Hoi-Polloi
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

About half the things this lady calls out are just in her mind. "... if I eat something healthy, like a salad or something, people think, ‘Yeah, right, you want to eat that? Fatty.’ ..." That's all you, sister. Honestly, people are thinking about you way less than you believe, either positive or negative thoughts. Most people are busy with their own deal.

Papa
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking much the same thing. I noticed she often said "people are thinking this" or "I feel like this." She's not a mind reader, so she doesn't know what people are thinking, and no one else is responsible for her feelings.

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Kill-Bunny
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some things are literally just in her head, but the flirting and actual fatfobia of some people without realizing it is 100%. I am quite plus size, however I get quite some attention when we used to get out with friends. And many people just can't believe that to the point, where the guy actually had to tell my (then) friend, that he is flirting with me, and not her (he showed zero attention to her, and she could not believe that). And on fatfobia thing: I was talking with my friend that I was on a hike few days back to try the new trail and due to it being very windy, not I have neck pain. She decided to correct me and tell, that I my neck hurts because I don't get out and sit on the coach all day. We talk with her like once or twice a year and she has no clue what I do at my free time.

Pen Irwin
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The while context of this is "I feel..." Which obviously tells anyone that SHE feels these things are somehow true. Even though no one has told her to not get dessert or tell them she is hungry. Not once have I ever heard someone say "look how cute that guy is sitting there on the couch for hours mislead scrolling through tick toc! How absolutely adorable! Not. Never. I'm sorry she FEELS this way but a lot of this are things she needs to work on for her own personal self care and love.

Sophia Athene
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She didn't say no one never said those things about her or that she hasn't heard someone say these things. I have! It's horrible, both hearing those statements made about others and about me.

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Karmen vrt
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its so irritating, im fat, my boss is not, but im great at my job she is super happy with me, but at least once per shift she will make a coment like "oh we need to arrange that, but look i can pass trugh this space but you could never" or "i will handle this because my arms ae skinny but your hands would never fit" "yes that clients, she was like your size so she definitiely could not do that" and honestly I'm considering quiting over this, because yes I own a mirror,i know im not skinny and im not happy about it, im trying to change it but you do not have to coment about my weight constantly and compare everything to my size...

Phoenix Hocking
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recently had a slight injury (hamstring), and I told my doctor on the phone that I did look at the back of my leg to see if it was discolored, because we were ruling out a blood clot. He asked if it was, and said, "No, it's just my old fat leg." He laughed, but it was a laugh WITH me kind of laugh, not a laugh AT me kind of laugh. I love my doctor. As for being fat...yeah, I'm a little self-conscious, especially when it comes to clothes, but I have no problem eating in public. I truly do not care what anybody thinks about what I'm eating or how I look. I've been fat off-and-on for pretty much all of my adult life, and I'm 75 now. I did lose weight, but that's because I wanted to avoid knee replacement surgery. I'm eating healthier foods now, not so much processed foods, and practically no sugar, but that's only because I feel better when I cut the c**p out of my diet.

Stephen Andrews
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife has battled numerous illnesses since 2006 and weighs 88 lbs. right now. We’ve tried everything to get her to a healthy weight but it’s a daily battle (26 hospitalizations and counting). She constantly gets rude comments from heavy people that go something like” wish I had your problems”. No, you really don’t.

DaisyBee
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m heavier lately due to PCOS causing weight gain (slowly getting back to normal post treatment). I was very self conscious, and only once encountered someone who called me a whale for eating a burger. Bratty teenager trying to impress his friends by being edgy. I told him his father loves my body, kept eating and enjoyed my day. He scuttled off as his friends teased him. Did it sting? Sure. But people forget that with bullying, a certain amount of allowing yourself to be the victim CAN be a thing. Fight back, live your life, and stop letting these “rules” dictate what you do or don’t do. Words only carry the power that YOU give to them

François Bouzigues
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

About the gym part. It is time you get past your prejudices and actually go to a gym. It is one of the most suportives communities like ever. And that massive super shredded guys ? Was overweight at some point, almost guaranteed. Clumsy ,awkward workout is still way better than no workout. There will be super fit people, not so fit people. If you see a gym, veteran, they will mostly thrilled to share some gym wisdom with you if you ask.

DaisyBee
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mostly one of the most supportive. However, I went to the gym with a heavier friend of mine, and watched as she was told “people like you don’t belong here.” When pressed further, this person’s entire group doubled down and said “fat people aren’t welcome in the gym.” So while most gyms are absolutely great, there are those that are very clique focused, and that clique is skinny.

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Alex Mosby
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I genuinely never think anyone is looking at me. I'm always in my own head so I'm really not noticing other people either, especially not strangers. It has to be really obvious that someone is staring or they'd have to say something to me. I've been fat my whole life but I was never teased as a kid for being fat. The fat phobia I experienced was at the doctors office.

Baba 35
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why the effing hell wasn't this a readable page, I don't want to go on some site to watch a video just do what u do when yous steal off reddit or other blood sites its ridiculous

Christopher Crockett
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she's cute! She's smart and seems to have a good personality too. I'd totally date this lady.

Tyranamar Seuss
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a fair representation of the things fat people worry others are thinking about them. I don't think it's an accurate representation of what other people actually are thinking. But her fears are spot on. I get nervous in crowds and can't eat. People are always looking at me weird and making comments, "you can have more you know." I always think they probably think I'm afraid to eat in front of them bc I'm fat. But reality is everyone knows I have to eat more than average to weigh more than average. I just get nervous in crowds. And when I'm nervous I don't eat. But I realize maybe this is me projecting stuff.

Katiekat
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to weigh over 400 and am now down to 250, with more to go. Every single time, even as a kid, that someone said some c**p to me, I got LOUD and obnoxious and ANGRY and shut them up and shut them down. I've had enough fat-shaming for several lifetimes. Highly recommend letting that anger out, esp as a young woman. Wielded skillfully like a weapon, anger can do amazing things to people who want to shame you and keep you small. Remember shame is imposed from the outside, and it's always about control, dominance, and power. Resist. Be shameless. Be vocal and learn to self-advocate. Feels amazing, and people who aren't friends, who don't like you, who don't want you to succeed WILL back off, back down, shut up, and LEAVE.

Violent Doll
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been plus sized pretty much my entire life, bounced between a size 12 and a size 20 (currently at 14\16), and, while I don't generally get rude unsolicited comments, they have happened. I like to loudly say NO I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU! as a response. Shuts people down pretty fast.

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DC
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

... and what if the majority of people don't really care? I see people of all sizes and shades every day, and I either am thinking through something, or don't have a mind for problems I neither caused, nor can solve. Also, they're all strangers.

Donna Grainger
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was fat shamed in my early years. Life is too short to let other people's opinions make you unhappy. Now, I have stopped caring what anyone thinks about my weight, I give back what they give to me... in my own way. Nothing gets to people like this, more than not being able to get to you. "You should be eating a salad!" "You eat a salad, I am eating this!" (Chomps and beams happily) You can't be hungry again!" "Well, I am, deal with it!" "I would die of embarrassment if I were that fat!! She looks a beached whale!" "Well, you look like your parents didn't care enough to teach you manners, now where is the beach, I want to swim!" All the while, I am rocking being happy. I am much lighter without the weight of caring about other people's opinions.

Jonas Fisher
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These aren't things she can't do. This is just a list of things she is neurotic about.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Technically, yes, by definition, but it's come to mean "discrimination/dislike of people who are fat" instead.

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Poediddy
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sick and tired of people saying being fat is healthy.. no one should ever be bullied or called out for being fat/overweight, but stop gaslighting people into believing fat people are healthy! (Now let the criticism begin... starting with my use of he word ...FAT... I can hear it now... "You're just fatphobic!")

Display_Name
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman needs to see a therapists. The things she is saying are valid for her. Although they are not actually happening. If she is hearing these things from people she is around then she needs to lose these people much more than she needs to lose weight.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman is way way too far inside her own head. Why? Don't know.

LokisLilButterknife
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really feel like this woman needs to see a therapist and I'm not saying that to be mean or hurtful. I'm saying it out of concern as it sounds like she is projecting a lot of these things. Yes, fatphobia and fat-shaming our indeed things that happen. However, if she is thinking that she is unable to do all of these things because of what people may say she should find people who support and uphold her. In all honesty, people are way more concerned with their own lives to honestly care about how someone looks, what someone eats, who is exercising at the gym, etc.

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