ADVERTISEMENT

The idea of expectations seems very tame at first. It is a standard the collective hivemind adheres to and expects that nobody strays away from this norm because collective stability. That’s how societies work, right?

Well, the concept has a lot of nuance to it—nuance that isn’t all that positive as it can cause unforeseen damage to relationships, cause harm to oneself, or is just flat out toxic all around. All because someone is comfortable with pushing the boundaries for the sake of stability.

And when someone snaps and breaks, folks wonder why it happened. Because not everyone is cut out for this. And that’s fine. But some don’t see it that way.

Folks online recently tackled this issue with an AskReddit thread listing what things are not for everyone, but society acts like it is?

#1

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Social Media. Imagine being a 6th grader and having people think you’re weird if you don’t have an Instagram.

That s**t is poison. Wrecked our interpersonal skills. Ruined relationships. Perpetuated bullying into cyberspace when it used to end at the school day. Cemented embarrassment if you get recorded. The list goes on.

aSentientShadeOfBlue , Plann Report

#2

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Religion. That’s fine if you’re a believer and it brings you peace or purpose or whatever, but it’s really not for everyone.

xraig88 , Leo mandala Report

#3

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” The whole “early bird gets the worm” mentality. Society tends to glorify being a morning person and waking up at the crack of dawn, but not everyone’s wired that way. Some of us are night owls who do our best work after midnight. So, let’s remember that not everyone thrives on the same schedule, and it’s okay to be a night-loving creature in a world that often praises the early risers. After all, owls are pretty cool too!

Stock_Strawberry2306 , Kampus Production Report

ADVERTISEMENT

So, in the grand scheme of things, the thread did not receive a lot of upvotes, clocking in at just 3,300. What it did, however, do is generate quite a discussion. 4,900 comments later, we have loads of spot-on answers as well as talks about their respective themes and topics, giving context as to why it’s bad and why we would be better off without it.

#4

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Having children.

Connect_Office8072:

I worked for the State’s attorney in the Neglect and Abuse Division and I swear, you should need a test before you can become a parent.

ServiceCall1986:

I’m a woman who has never had that “motherly urge” and I never plan on having kids. People don’t seem to understand that can happen. It’s always “you’ll change your mind once you find the right person”.

No, my right person will feel the same as me. People want to change me, but I’ve always felt this way.

InsightfulBlonde Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#5

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Crop tops. Some of us still want the whole entire shirt damnit!

slpeach91 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

#6

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Romantic relationships. So many people can't fathom the fact that I'm perfectly happy being single. I have a solid support network from my friends and family and feel perfectly content without a romantic relationship. I'm always happy for my friends who end up in good, loving relationships, but it's not something I am interested in.

spaceturtle1138 , Jasmin Wedding Photography Report

Answers revolved around social norms and expectations that everyone should be doing this or that. You know, things like hustle culture, social media, getting married and having kids, faith, and doing what is considered “normal” by the majority. But, at the end of the day, those are just norms and expectations. They shouldn’t be deciding factors just because... but peer pressure is a thing and it does some toxic things.

#7

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Having the most expensive extravagant wedding.

Thebazilla , alleksana Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#8

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Alcohol - some people can't fathom that others can't be arsed to drink it, or choose a sober lifestyle after a bad experience.

zombsters , ELEVATE Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#9

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Team sports. There are other ways to learn teamwork and be part of a group, such as orchestra, marching band, scouting and a lot more.

DiligentAdvantage475 , jeffreyflin Report

Add photo comments
POST
lazyblackcat_779
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love sports. I play and participate in every physical activity possible. However, people are different and have different interests and as long as they are happy and healthy I have no reason to dislike them for disliking sports. I just want to say that even though I like sports I agree.

Load More Replies...
StrangeOne
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just working/playing with teams, at all. Being on a team is not for everyone and doesn't come easy for everyone. I thought I was okay, but turns out I'm not great working with teams. I'm way too independent to the point no one really likes to work with me. I hate being bossed around and sharing credit/criticisms. Never really had a good experience with teams, come to think of it.

Steve Robert
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The monetizing of sports has ruined the college game. Paying a college football coach $75 million dollars just to fire him is the definition of absurdity! And when the coach is the highest paid position in most universities, people wonder why tuition has become more expensive than buying a house!

Lou Cam
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Schools tend to heavily focus on team sports and not physical activity for health reasons. Kids that hate team sports just develop a hatred of exercise as a result. Doing things like swimming, running or even aerobics class for fun not competitively, would benefit a lot more kids.

LavenderHippoInAJar
Community Member
12 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

OogieBoogie
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never understood the whole tribal goal achievements thing.

Lily Castellow
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like marching band is more of a team sport than anything else- everyone is doing something completely different from each other but also creating something you can’t do by yourself. My best memories are from marching band and I get upset when people pass it off as something easy because it is so physically demanding

Ashen Mccann (They/Them)
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm in Band, Choir, and Theatre. our school gets ZERO funding from the district for the arts programs so when our band performs at f*ckin Disneyland we have to sell at least 300 ice cream bars a year and each student needs at least one sponsor so we can afford to go. And we do good, we have a fundraiser concert that gives us the money for PAS, Band social activities, the school musical, concerts, we literally do more stuff and have more (and much better) percussion instruments than the schools that get funding *cough* the high schools *cough*

Trillian
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It doesn't even have to be a team thing. Not everyone is into group activities. Hobbies should be things you enjoy doing.

Momo Skarsgård
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well in this instance they are just saying you don't have to learn teamwork by just playing sports. You can't learn teamwork alone though.

Load More Replies...
Uncle Schmickle
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's for sure. The amount of money spent on sports is crazy. Recently in Hobart, Tasmania Australia, there was a push to build a new sports stadium to the tune of ( from memory ) $715 million, but there were homeless people living in that city .... ? Go figure.

Thatglutenfreegirly
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Theater is a really good way to learn teamwork for kids who aren't athletic, physically can't do sports, or just don't like it

Nikki Hilton
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's nothing wrong with team sports *if that's what a person likes* but there are plenty of options out there.

Momo Skarsgård
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can learn teamwork other ways. If you don't like sport then just keep moving.

martymcmatrix
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've heard about that too...these two strange appearing objects are »sports brooms« for professional »small pitch sweeping« (SPSL). Look how happy the female individuals are for being allowed to clean up after kick-off and get paid for it......but SERIOUSLY, the skill, speed & tactics development in e.g. football/soccer in recent years is so impressive that today's women's teams can/will play even more convincing than their men's teams, especially in international tournaments.....but sadly, there's still a huge financial gap to be overcome ASAP!

C.O. Shea
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I noped out on team sports after the cow who threatened me with a softball bat at practice.

martymcmatrix
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

C'mon, be kind...she just practiced figuring out how to hold the bat without injuring the 🐄 (herself)...

Load More Replies...
Michael Largey
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Team sports also teach regimentation, unquestioning obedience, and the disposability of the individual.

LadySparre
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a Scout and thus learned teamwork. But I was also an elite athlete in an individual sport. And nothing in the world would ever make me chose a team sport. Because I know I'm simply too competitive for it to have worked.

Jeff White
Community Member
12 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Continued comment: You will learn how to be coached and (hopefully) learn how to accept properly delivered constructive criticism. And many other "life" lessons all in a low stakes environment. Of making this positive environments "Do or Die" or are taught in a punitive manner will negate much of the benefit. And many attributes, especially coaching and constructive feedback, can be learned in other activities (Orchestra, marching band). Thus, the comment that Team Sports is not for everybody is correct. But don't assume it is not valuable for many / most people.

Jeff White
Community Member
12 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I still agree with this sentiment but have soften (quite a bit) on this point as I have gotten older. Team sports, i.e., activities with a winner and a loser, are helpful for the participants and society. My newfound thinking was brought about by a seeming increasing belief that younger generations are not resilient. I have heard this position from useless old fart pontificator(s) and many metal health pediatric professionals. This belief then begs the question: what activities do build resilience in participants and society in a low stakes / no permanent damage environment? The best I can think of is youth team sports. As a participant you will learn that you can play your best and still not win. The whole team can "lose" due to the actions of one "bad" player. You think all the employees of Enron were all crooks, no they were doomed by the bad few. You can learn that people (i.e., Refs) will make mistakes and you're only option is to continue on. More in next comment.

luvdemhogs
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for having your own points of view on this. I'm someone who's life has benefited greatly from team sports.

Load More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

You can kinda blame evolution for making social and societal pressure a thing. It’s natural for folks to strive for companionship that’s best suited for life in a given community. Societies are what has given humans an edge in survival on this planet for as long as they have. And so the very fabric of our existence depends on us sticking together in that sense. It is also that same fabric that causes pressure into staying within its norms. Sometimes, very aggressively.

#10

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Hustle/grind/climb the corporate ladder culture. I just want to do what I'm good at and enjoy my life, not kill myself getting to the top.

pumpkinpretzel:

And also, (kinda on the flip side) the idea that everyone should start their own business and be their own boss.

Not everyone can/should/wants to…

Wishilikedhugs , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#11

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Talking to toxic family members.

Magazinegurl , Andrea Piacquadio Report

#12

Christmas. I really don’t like Christmas, but people look at me like I have two heads if I say that out loud, like I’m not allowed to not like Christmas. Not a religious reason, I just find the holiday to be too intrusive. It insists upon itself, and everywhere you turn, Christmas gets jammed in your face, down your throat, up your a*s. It’s October 29 and my neighbor just put his Christmas lights up. They won’t come down until the end of June. Is eight months of Christmas really necessary?

Muttandcheese Report

And just like anything that’s taken to an extreme, society too can take expectations and norms to a degree where it starts marginalizing people. And those who find themselves stuck between their own ideas and desires, and the opinion of society can end up in a spiral of stress and inadequacy. And all of this is very ironic because communities form to ensure stability and we now have folks who are destabilizing it.

ADVERTISEMENT
#13

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Driving. Maneuvering thousands of pounds of metal at speeds that can easily kill you and other people, yet we encourage people to do it before they can vote or drink or live alone, and at least in North America you’re seen as some sort of immature freak if you can’t or don’t want to.

Illustrious_Town_163 , Norma Mortenson Report

#14

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” A 9-5 job. I'm a bartender/server and a natural night owl. I honestly think that's why I even prefer the service industry because I just feel more normal at night lol. I have my degree and did the 9-5 for about 2 years but everyone's energy all day kinda makes me nauseous 🥲 But the relentless judgment for being on a different schedule than the rest of society is constant.

ServerAgent88 , https://www.pexels.com/photo/bartender-pouring-drink-into-glass-of-ice-4818176/ Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#15

Guns, well at least in US society.

Jengus_Roundstone Report

In turn, social pressures often encourage people to fit in with those around them. Again, this circles back to safety and security within a given community, the desire to change ourselves in order to stay connected with people for the greater good, i.e. survival. And while it can be a positive change, it can also turn out to be toxic as well.

#16

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Sex. Nobody should be shamed for having sex or not having sex.

onemanmelee:

Similarly, hookup culture. Not everyone glorifies the idea of "anytime with anyone, anywhere."

Minute-Shoulder-1782 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

#17

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Being extroverted and constantly craving social interactions.

Cute-Landscape7610:

this. i love being at HOME. i love my small circle of close relationships - those are the people that can be recharging for me.

i do not crave being in loud, overpopulated environments or making small talk with a bunch of strangers or distant acquaintances that i have no bond with. even being around extremely social, extroverted people that i do love dearly (my almost in laws) gets exhausting, because they nearly always have their family friends over. i just could never.

lehmx , Matheus Bertelli Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#18

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Marriage.

Im_100percent_human:

I used to believe that Marriage was a societal invention that really did not serve an important purpose. I decided at one point that I never wanted to get married. My views have evolved on this as I have aged. While I still believe that marriage, as an institution, is a societal invention, but it does serve an important purpose. It provides a default legal contract that defines the sharing of property and responsibilities. While this may sound trivial, it is not. This is particularly important for couples as they age, become sick, and die. It really defines how another person can make decisions on your behalf and benefit from a shared life. If you are to couple with another person, you should marry at some point.... You really don't need to have a wedding or even tell anyone. Just do it for the sake of your partner.

Louis-grabbing-pills , Jeremy Wong Report

And, as it so happens, these evolutionary processes also lead to the fact that we’re hard-wired to respond to social pressures—to a degree where changes can quite literally be detected in the brain.

ADVERTISEMENT

Many look at others for guidance. It’s a thing called social proof whereby a community essentially determines what’s good and what’s not based on how much they approve of it or partake in it. A certain kind of popularity.

#19

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Interest in sports.

grondfoehammer , Andrea Piacquadio Report

#20

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” "Sucess" in our modern way of thing about it. Not everyone wants or can handle being extremely wealthy, famous, or powerful. Some of us just want our slice of a good life and live it.

Major-Language-2787 , Karolina Grabowska Report

#21

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” 40 hour work week.

xMadxScientistx:

I don't honestly think it's for anybody. People say there are a bunch of psychopaths out there who just love working every waking moment, but I kind of think they just tell people they feel that way to look like they're virtuous.

Ambitious_Surround36 , Christina Morillo Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda

However, there has to be a fine balance between being all in or all out when it comes to functioning in society. Setting boundaries and understanding what you as an individual needs is crucial in maintaining personal health. Turning into an absolute people-pleaser can lead to harmful relationships which in turn have zero benefit for the individual, all the while turning against society isn’t wise either as it’s not all bad.

#22

Sexually provocative imagery on everything, being seen by kids. We steep in it all our lives

doesanyonehaveweed Report

#23

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” College.

xSmittyxCorex:

I don’t know about society at large, but media sure acts like it. I swear almost every show and movie ever it’s assumed the entire cast went to college. And not a local college either, they left home, stayed in a dorm, and somehow in between all the studying, a lot of partying and weed was involved. And if it involves highschoolers, its assumed they’re going to go, and if not, it’s cause they’re the stupid/trouble-making one.

DarkRose_92 , Emily Ranquist Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#24

Capitalism?


I mean, it literally is only for the capitalists. Everyone else gets to labor, or die, or both...

Poet_of_Legends Report

Hence, it’s important to learn how to express individuality, but all the while understanding how you can help a society and how a society can help you.

The first part can manifest in many ways: wear unique clothes, don’t be ashamed to embrace what you enjoy near others, speak your mind, that sort of thing. In turn, losing the trying to fit in mentality might save you a lot of stress along the way.

#25

Probably gonna get crucified for this but...

Rap/hip hop or any type of music in that style... including a lot of this new Bro Country stuff.

*goes and hides under the table now...*

One_Evil_Monkey Report

#26

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Credit cards.

DEVILDORIGHT:

Living in and with debt is just lunacy to me. What sense does it make to live your entire life in debt to a corporation? None. If I cannot afford to pay for a thing outright, I don't need it. "Oh but a credit card/debt, allows you to have what you want." NO. It allows the bank to come take your shit and throw you to the wolves and out on the street should you fail to pay the debt incurred.

gottarunfast1 , Anete Lusina Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#27

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Being connected ALL the time: Wifi, TV, streaming.

Upstairs-Radish1816:

I was in my 50's when my son gave me his old smart phone. He couldn't understand how I could leave the house without it. I kept telling him I've gone this long without one I couldn't see the need to have a phone all the time.

Ob1cannobody , Andrea Piacquadio Report

But societies are necessary, for survival, of course, but let’s put it into perspective: society has enough power to push for changes and public opinion that might just keep you safe, say, in a pandemic where everyone wears a mask, and the one not wearing one would be pressured, if not mandated, into it so that it wouldn’t stir any more trouble. But that works for everyone’s benefit if the focus is for the benefit of everyone, and not motivated by self interest. So that’s something to think about.

#28

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Owning a pet.

Tim0281:

I agree. I'd love to have a dog, but I'm a childless bachelor that lives in a second floor apartment. I don't have the time or space to properly take care of a dog. It wouldn't be fair to the dog if I got one.

SydneyTheCalico , Mikayla Meeker Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#29

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” The idea that in order to be part of this world, you have to focus on events that don't concern you. We're expected to be 'aware' of conflicts all over the world, poverty, crime, social problems and all other kinds of horrible things that happen daily but don't concern us. This leads to constant panic and stress, caused by events and situations that aren't in our sphere of influence but we're expected to be aware of them. There's almost no way to live a stable life when we're constantly battered over the head with events happening in other parts of the world, but if we ignore them, we're horrible people.

anon , Redrec ©️ Report

#30

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Small talk.

RudeSympathy259 , Kampus Production Report

So, what are your thoughts on any of this? Throw in your two cents and share stories in the comment section below.

And once you’re done with that, why not peep at this article about things that seem to have been normalized, yet they are anything but normal due to their toxic, immoral or just flat out wrong nature.

ADVERTISEMENT
#31

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Homeownership. Some people just don't have the budgeting skills, willingness, time and knowledge to do maintenance, or the discipline necessary for homeownership.

sconnie64 , Scott Webb Report

#32

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Working the same job/career for 40+ years.

Dregnaught42 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

#33

Veganism.

Tiggeribby Report

#34

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Based on recent unpopular opinion posts, Halloween costume parties for adults. Every time someone says they don't like them, they're met with "you just don't like fun" comments.

BLUFALCON78 , Black Iris Visuals Report

#35

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Desk jobs. All through school they preached that we were failures if we were anything less than doctors, lawyers, middle management, etc. So we all trained for those things and did really well. Now there aren't enough jobs to go around in those fields. Now it's just "your degrees are useless! Go work fast food! You failed!"

Really getting tired of the out of touch 50+ crowd ruining people's lives.

CodenameJinn , Antoni Shkraba Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#36

Cohabiting with an intimate partner.

Bimblelina Report

#37

Taking dogs everywhere. It's become ridiculous in the UK now with people taking them on shopping trips to big stores, but worse still, restaurants are now allowing dogs in eating areas. It's gross ...

antlered_godi Report

#38

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Monogamy *and* polyamory. The main reason people think polyamory is bad is because non-polyamorous people attempt it and inevitably fail at it because they think polyamory is something you can just switch on and off and “try out”. At the same time, society acts like monogamy should be the standard for everyone, when it’s just not suited to everyone.

early_onset_villainy , cottonbro studio Report

#39

Math teacher here: Algebra. EDIT: I'm not saying "Mathematics" I'm saying "Algebra".

revdj Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#40

Some sort of political opinion.

MagicHoops3 Report