40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”

The idea of expectations seems very tame at first. It is a standard the collective hivemind adheres to and expects that nobody strays away from this norm because collective stability. That’s how societies work, right?

Well, the concept has a lot of nuance to it—nuance that isn’t all that positive as it can cause unforeseen damage to relationships, cause harm to oneself, or is just flat out toxic all around. All because someone is comfortable with pushing the boundaries for the sake of stability.

And when someone snaps and breaks, folks wonder why it happened. Because not everyone is cut out for this. And that’s fine. But some don’t see it that way.

Folks online recently tackled this issue with an AskReddit thread listing what things are not for everyone, but society acts like it is?

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40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Social Media. Imagine being a 6th grader and having people think you’re weird if you don’t have an Instagram.

That s**t is poison. Wrecked our interpersonal skills. Ruined relationships. Perpetuated bullying into cyberspace when it used to end at the school day. Cemented embarrassment if you get recorded. The list goes on.

aSentientShadeOfBlue , Plann Report

Final score:

463points

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40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Religion. That’s fine if you’re a believer and it brings you peace or purpose or whatever, but it’s really not for everyone.

xraig88 , Leo mandala Report

Final score:

317points

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40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” The whole “early bird gets the worm” mentality. Society tends to glorify being a morning person and waking up at the crack of dawn, but not everyone’s wired that way. Some of us are night owls who do our best work after midnight. So, let’s remember that not everyone thrives on the same schedule, and it’s okay to be a night-loving creature in a world that often praises the early risers. After all, owls are pretty cool too!

Stock_Strawberry2306 , Kampus Production Report

Final score:

315points

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So, in the grand scheme of things, the thread did not receive a lot of upvotes, clocking in at just 3,300. What it did, however, do is generate quite a discussion. 4,900 comments later, we have loads of spot-on answers as well as talks about their respective themes and topics, giving context as to why it’s bad and why we would be better off without it.

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Having children.

Connect_Office8072:

I worked for the State’s attorney in the Neglect and Abuse Division and I swear, you should need a test before you can become a parent.

ServiceCall1986:

I’m a woman who has never had that “motherly urge” and I never plan on having kids. People don’t seem to understand that can happen. It’s always “you’ll change your mind once you find the right person”.

No, my right person will feel the same as me. People want to change me, but I’ve always felt this way.

InsightfulBlonde Report

Final score:

289points

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40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Crop tops. Some of us still want the whole entire shirt damnit!

slpeach91 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

278points

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40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Romantic relationships. So many people can't fathom the fact that I'm perfectly happy being single. I have a solid support network from my friends and family and feel perfectly content without a romantic relationship. I'm always happy for my friends who end up in good, loving relationships, but it's not something I am interested in.

spaceturtle1138 , Jasmin Wedding Photography Report

Final score:

223points

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Answers revolved around social norms and expectations that everyone should be doing this or that. You know, things like hustle culture, social media, getting married and having kids, faith, and doing what is considered “normal” by the majority. But, at the end of the day, those are just norms and expectations. They shouldn’t be deciding factors just because... but peer pressure is a thing and it does some toxic things.

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Having the most expensive extravagant wedding.

Thebazilla , alleksana Report

Final score:

223points

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40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Alcohol - some people can't fathom that others can't be arsed to drink it, or choose a sober lifestyle after a bad experience.

zombsters , ELEVATE Report

Final score:

214points

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40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Team sports. There are other ways to learn teamwork and be part of a group, such as orchestra, marching band, scouting and a lot more.

DiligentAdvantage475 , jeffreyflin Report

Final score:

197points

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You can kinda blame evolution for making social and societal pressure a thing. It’s natural for folks to strive for companionship that’s best suited for life in a given community. Societies are what has given humans an edge in survival on this planet for as long as they have. And so the very fabric of our existence depends on us sticking together in that sense. It is also that same fabric that causes pressure into staying within its norms. Sometimes, very aggressively.

#10

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Hustle/grind/climb the corporate ladder culture. I just want to do what I'm good at and enjoy my life, not kill myself getting to the top.

pumpkinpretzel:

And also, (kinda on the flip side) the idea that everyone should start their own business and be their own boss.

Not everyone can/should/wants to…

Wishilikedhugs , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

196points

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#11

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Talking to toxic family members.

Magazinegurl , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

170points

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#12

Christmas. I really don’t like Christmas, but people look at me like I have two heads if I say that out loud, like I’m not allowed to not like Christmas. Not a religious reason, I just find the holiday to be too intrusive. It insists upon itself, and everywhere you turn, Christmas gets jammed in your face, down your throat, up your a*s. It’s October 29 and my neighbor just put his Christmas lights up. They won’t come down until the end of June. Is eight months of Christmas really necessary?

Muttandcheese Report

Final score:

151points

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And just like anything that’s taken to an extreme, society too can take expectations and norms to a degree where it starts marginalizing people. And those who find themselves stuck between their own ideas and desires, and the opinion of society can end up in a spiral of stress and inadequacy. And all of this is very ironic because communities form to ensure stability and we now have folks who are destabilizing it.

#13

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Driving. Maneuvering thousands of pounds of metal at speeds that can easily kill you and other people, yet we encourage people to do it before they can vote or drink or live alone, and at least in North America you’re seen as some sort of immature freak if you can’t or don’t want to.

Illustrious_Town_163 , Norma Mortenson Report

Final score:

144points

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#14

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” A 9-5 job. I'm a bartender/server and a natural night owl. I honestly think that's why I even prefer the service industry because I just feel more normal at night lol. I have my degree and did the 9-5 for about 2 years but everyone's energy all day kinda makes me nauseous 🥲 But the relentless judgment for being on a different schedule than the rest of society is constant.

ServerAgent88 , https://www.pexels.com/photo/bartender-pouring-drink-into-glass-of-ice-4818176/ Report

Final score:

141points

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#15

Guns, well at least in US society.

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In turn, social pressures often encourage people to fit in with those around them. Again, this circles back to safety and security within a given community, the desire to change ourselves in order to stay connected with people for the greater good, i.e. survival. And while it can be a positive change, it can also turn out to be toxic as well.

#16

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Sex. Nobody should be shamed for having sex or not having sex.

onemanmelee:

Similarly, hookup culture. Not everyone glorifies the idea of "anytime with anyone, anywhere."

Minute-Shoulder-1782 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

139points

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#17

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Being extroverted and constantly craving social interactions.

Cute-Landscape7610:

this. i love being at HOME. i love my small circle of close relationships - those are the people that can be recharging for me.

i do not crave being in loud, overpopulated environments or making small talk with a bunch of strangers or distant acquaintances that i have no bond with. even being around extremely social, extroverted people that i do love dearly (my almost in laws) gets exhausting, because they nearly always have their family friends over. i just could never.

lehmx , Matheus Bertelli Report

Final score:

129points

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#18

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Marriage.

Im_100percent_human:

I used to believe that Marriage was a societal invention that really did not serve an important purpose. I decided at one point that I never wanted to get married. My views have evolved on this as I have aged. While I still believe that marriage, as an institution, is a societal invention, but it does serve an important purpose. It provides a default legal contract that defines the sharing of property and responsibilities. While this may sound trivial, it is not. This is particularly important for couples as they age, become sick, and die. It really defines how another person can make decisions on your behalf and benefit from a shared life. If you are to couple with another person, you should marry at some point.... You really don't need to have a wedding or even tell anyone. Just do it for the sake of your partner.

Louis-grabbing-pills , Jeremy Wong Report

Final score:

125points

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And, as it so happens, these evolutionary processes also lead to the fact that we’re hard-wired to respond to social pressures—to a degree where changes can quite literally be detected in the brain.

Many look at others for guidance. It’s a thing called social proof whereby a community essentially determines what’s good and what’s not based on how much they approve of it or partake in it. A certain kind of popularity.

#19

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Interest in sports.

grondfoehammer , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

112points

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#20

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” "Sucess" in our modern way of thing about it. Not everyone wants or can handle being extremely wealthy, famous, or powerful. Some of us just want our slice of a good life and live it.

Major-Language-2787 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

105points

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#21

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” 40 hour work week.

xMadxScientistx:

I don't honestly think it's for anybody. People say there are a bunch of psychopaths out there who just love working every waking moment, but I kind of think they just tell people they feel that way to look like they're virtuous.

Ambitious_Surround36 , Christina Morillo Report

Final score:

100points

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However, there has to be a fine balance between being all in or all out when it comes to functioning in society. Setting boundaries and understanding what you as an individual needs is crucial in maintaining personal health. Turning into an absolute people-pleaser can lead to harmful relationships which in turn have zero benefit for the individual, all the while turning against society isn’t wise either as it’s not all bad.

#22

Sexually provocative imagery on everything, being seen by kids. We steep in it all our lives

doesanyonehaveweed Report

Final score:

100points

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#23

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” College.

xSmittyxCorex:

I don’t know about society at large, but media sure acts like it. I swear almost every show and movie ever it’s assumed the entire cast went to college. And not a local college either, they left home, stayed in a dorm, and somehow in between all the studying, a lot of partying and weed was involved. And if it involves highschoolers, its assumed they’re going to go, and if not, it’s cause they’re the stupid/trouble-making one.

DarkRose_92 , Emily Ranquist Report

Final score:

98points

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#24

Capitalism?

I mean, it literally is only for the capitalists. Everyone else gets to labor, or die, or both...

Poet_of_Legends Report

Final score:

96points

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Hence, it’s important to learn how to express individuality, but all the while understanding how you can help a society and how a society can help you.

The first part can manifest in many ways: wear unique clothes, don’t be ashamed to embrace what you enjoy near others, speak your mind, that sort of thing. In turn, losing the trying to fit in mentality might save you a lot of stress along the way.

#25

Probably gonna get crucified for this but...

Rap/hip hop or any type of music in that style... including a lot of this new Bro Country stuff.

*goes and hides under the table now...*

One_Evil_Monkey Report

Final score:

89points

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#26

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Credit cards.

DEVILDORIGHT:

Living in and with debt is just lunacy to me. What sense does it make to live your entire life in debt to a corporation? None. If I cannot afford to pay for a thing outright, I don't need it. "Oh but a credit card/debt, allows you to have what you want." NO. It allows the bank to come take your shit and throw you to the wolves and out on the street should you fail to pay the debt incurred.

gottarunfast1 , Anete Lusina Report

Final score:

86points

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#27

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Being connected ALL the time: Wifi, TV, streaming.

Upstairs-Radish1816:

I was in my 50's when my son gave me his old smart phone. He couldn't understand how I could leave the house without it. I kept telling him I've gone this long without one I couldn't see the need to have a phone all the time.

Ob1cannobody , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

82points

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But societies are necessary, for survival, of course, but let’s put it into perspective: society has enough power to push for changes and public opinion that might just keep you safe, say, in a pandemic where everyone wears a mask, and the one not wearing one would be pressured, if not mandated, into it so that it wouldn’t stir any more trouble. But that works for everyone’s benefit if the focus is for the benefit of everyone, and not motivated by self interest. So that’s something to think about.

#28

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Owning a pet.

Tim0281:

I agree. I'd love to have a dog, but I'm a childless bachelor that lives in a second floor apartment. I don't have the time or space to properly take care of a dog. It wouldn't be fair to the dog if I got one.

SydneyTheCalico , Mikayla Meeker Report

Final score:

75points

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#29

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” The idea that in order to be part of this world, you have to focus on events that don't concern you. We're expected to be 'aware' of conflicts all over the world, poverty, crime, social problems and all other kinds of horrible things that happen daily but don't concern us. This leads to constant panic and stress, caused by events and situations that aren't in our sphere of influence but we're expected to be aware of them. There's almost no way to live a stable life when we're constantly battered over the head with events happening in other parts of the world, but if we ignore them, we're horrible people.

anon , Redrec ©️ Report

Final score:

73points

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#30

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Small talk.

RudeSympathy259 , Kampus Production Report

Final score:

71points

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So, what are your thoughts on any of this? Throw in your two cents and share stories in the comment section below.

And once you’re done with that, why not peep at this article about things that seem to have been normalized, yet they are anything but normal due to their toxic, immoral or just flat out wrong nature.

#31

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Homeownership. Some people just don't have the budgeting skills, willingness, time and knowledge to do maintenance, or the discipline necessary for homeownership.

sconnie64 , Scott Webb Report

Final score:

61points

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#32

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Working the same job/career for 40+ years.

Dregnaught42 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

58points

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#33

Veganism.

Tiggeribby Report

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58points

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#34

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Based on recent unpopular opinion posts, Halloween costume parties for adults. Every time someone says they don't like them, they're met with "you just don't like fun" comments.

BLUFALCON78 , Black Iris Visuals Report

Final score:

50points

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#35

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Desk jobs. All through school they preached that we were failures if we were anything less than doctors, lawyers, middle management, etc. So we all trained for those things and did really well. Now there aren't enough jobs to go around in those fields. Now it's just "your degrees are useless! Go work fast food! You failed!"

Really getting tired of the out of touch 50+ crowd ruining people's lives.

CodenameJinn , Antoni Shkraba Report

Final score:

36points

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#36

Cohabiting with an intimate partner.

Bimblelina Report

Final score:

36points

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#37

Taking dogs everywhere. It's become ridiculous in the UK now with people taking them on shopping trips to big stores, but worse still, restaurants are now allowing dogs in eating areas. It's gross ...

antlered_godi Report

Final score:

34points

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#38

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?” Monogamy *and* polyamory. The main reason people think polyamory is bad is because non-polyamorous people attempt it and inevitably fail at it because they think polyamory is something you can just switch on and off and “try out”. At the same time, society acts like monogamy should be the standard for everyone, when it’s just not suited to everyone.

early_onset_villainy , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

31points

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#39

Math teacher here: Algebra. EDIT: I'm not saying "Mathematics" I'm saying "Algebra".

revdj Report

Final score:

27points

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#40

Some sort of political opinion.

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Final score:

27points

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What do you think ?

Will Cable 11 months ago

I hate it that people without children are expected to give up holidays etc for those with children. My partner isn't down for a shift Christmas but I have a feeling that he'll be asked to give up the holiday so those with children can have the time off.... Yet when he booked holidays he was expected to cover his own holiday for a couple of days as they couldn't get anyone to cover!

11points

Daniela Lavanza 11 months ago (edited)

He should just say no. His life without children is in no way less valuable than that of people with children. Childless people's time and schedule are NOT in any supposed to compensate for others' obligations. What about those who merely want to spend their holidays with their families, old parents, friends...?

8points

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Emily Ward 11 months ago

Exercise obsession. It is not the fix all for everything. It is not for everyone. It has never once in 40 years helped my depression. It has never helped my sleep schedule. It has never made me less hungry. I did get a damn staph infection at the gym though that scared my back. So now i cant wear anything with an open back shirt.

10points

Lou Cam 11 months ago

Exercise can make you much hungrier! Swimming especially, I could twice as much after swimming and tend to gain weight if I don't restrict myself.

2points

kansasmagic 11 months ago

Exercise definitely helps me, but with a catch: It only helps while I'm exercising (and maybe 1/2-1 hr after).

0points

Biljana Malesevic 11 months ago

For me exercises did help with depression but I gained some chronic injuries which according to doctors will never fully heal and I will always have pain in them. Apparently, I have "bad tendons" and they tend to get inflamed, and even get small breaks pretty easily. It's just not for everyone.

Alexandra 11 months ago

No one claims that exercise fixes depression. However, in the majority of cases it helps in the way medication helps, to get a grip on depression and go from there.

"I started working out at 40/50/60 and I am all fit now so you can too" (always with photos of very fit older or middle aged person). NO, not everyone can. People have chronic diseases, problems, old injuries, health issues... not everyone can suddenly start pumping weights at some 40+ age and be all fit and muscular. It's not for everyone don't try to shame us into it. A lot of people over that age have several medical issues and a lot of them have chronic pain and old injuries which should not be provoked. It's not easy for everyone and not everyone should even try to start with heavy weight lifting at any age, at least not without full exam and doctor permission.

4points

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40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”

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